I didn't see Chris again, before I went home. The rest of the day went by like a snail in slow motion, and I was thankful for permission to leave my last class. I felt really guilty about constantly comparing my love for Chris to my love for Aaron, but it was the thing that I could best relate to. Still, the feeling that I had, while on the bus going home, was the same feeling I had back when I was going to stay with Aaron for two weeks. Instead of two weeks, though, this was going to be two days, and I didn't have the desire to have any fuckathons with Chris. The love I felt for Chris made me want to just love him, without any expectation of actions.
I never liked the idea of planning romantic actions, anyway. I mean, the way people say, "We'll kiss on Tuesday night, but not have sex until Saturday." To me, kissing and sex are things that should just take place spontaneously. If they're planned, it defeats the purpose.
Anyway, when I arrived at my apartment I did my own version of the ten second tidy, and this lasted several minutes. I kicked off my shoes, then raced around the apartment, vacuuming, washing the dishes, changing the little box and rat cages, and tried my best to make the place look neat.
It wasn't until I was idly fluffing the pillows that it occurred to me that there was nowhere for Chris to sleep. I envisioned him bringing a sleeping bag, or maybe sleeping on the big black chair in the living room, but some part of me was hoping that he'd be sleeping in my bed with me. It seemed that now that our relationship had begun, we weren't wasting any time. We went from several months of in school "I love you's" to a hug, to a kiss. We had lay in bed together, but that was only cuddling. It lacked the commitment and intimacy that actually sleeping together had. Granted, sleeping together had two meanings and I was only thinking about the literal meaning at that time, but it still seemed like a big step. I normally slept in just boxers. Would I have to go to bed fully clothed, or would he mind if I slept in my boxers? How would he sleep? What would happen if we happened to be cuddling and certain...things began to happen between us and...I mean...would it be right to suggest that we...
But I could probably rationalize it to death. The bottom line was that he was going to be at my apartment in a short while and sleeping arrangements would be worked out eventually, I guess.
I interrupted my thoughts with one that said that it might be a good idea to jump in the shower real quick. I had a fairly clean apartment, so I figured that it might be nice if I cleaned myself up. I could never look good enough for Chris, as far as I was concerned, but he had hugged and kissed me, so he obviously didn't mind my appearance, unless he was one of those people who liked kissing ugly people, in which case I might be offended that...
But this was utter nonsense...
I was standing around my near-barren living room, when the buzzer to the door rang and I jumped in fright. As soon as the adrenaline started slowing down, I got enough presence of mind to press the door button to buzz whoever it was in. Assuming the Jehovah's Witnesses weren't making a late afternoon visit, I was pretty sure that this was Chrissie.
I opened the front door and just stood outside, watching the staircase. I was already smiling, as I saw Chris walk up the stairs, carrying a duffel bag.
"Hey, Chris." I said, walking out of the doorway to give him room to go through.
He walked through the doorway and put his bag down by the big black chair.
Swallowing hard, I said, "I missed you so much. I mean, I know it's only been a few hours, but...I dunno..."
He smiled and said, "I know how you feel. I thought about you all the way here. I'm really looking forward to spending some time with you this weekend."
I nodded and walked close to him and gently put my arms around his waist. He didn't object.
"I'm looking forward to it, too." I said, before leaning forward and kissing him gently.
Pulling away slightly, I saw Chris smile and whisper, "I love you, David." then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, placing gentle kisses all over my neck.
We remained like that for a while, and I was the one who separated myself from Chris.
"Chrissie," I said, walking across the room and scratching the back of my neck, "did you bring a sleeping bag or something?"
He shook his head, "No. Why?"
I shrugged, "Well, I was..."
My voice trailed off. I wanted to say something, but the wrong answer could seriously embarrass both of us. Still, though, I decided to take the more riskier, yet somehow more hopeful, choice, and said, "I was just wondering if you were okay with sleeping with me? I mean, in my bed."
He took a deep breath, "Umm...Did you...I mean, is that what you want?"
I hesitated for a second, before passing the buck with, "Well, only if you want."
He smiled, "It's your bed, Dave. I could sleep on the chair, if you want."
I paused for another moment, before shaking my head, "Only if you're more comfortable. I was actually hoping that...umm...What I mean, is...I kind of want you to sleep with me."
"You do?"
I nodded, "I mean, nothing like... you know...would happen. I was sort of hoping that maybe I could cuddle with you, like we kinda did a little while ago."
He smiled, "I was sort of hoping we could do that too."
I nodded, "Okay. Well, bedtime isn't yet. What do you feel like doing?"
He gave me a look that indicated exactly what he had in mind for us to do...