RA Adventures (C) KV 2000
If you're offended by sexual activities between men, I must ask you to leave...after I ask you what the hell you're doing here. In any event, in the cosmically unlikely chance you ended up here by mistake, go ahead and leave. If you're over 18 and meant to be here, please, kick back, relax and enjoy! Big thank you's to all those of you who have written. I've enjoyed hearing your opinions and reactions. --------------------
Chapter 4
I woke up the next morning with Matt still glued to me. I smiled and tried to get up without waking him up.
"Hey, you're up," he said softly.
"Yeah," I muttered. "I was just about to go jump in the shower before breakfast." I expected him to move over, or at least let go after I had said that, but he didn't. He just pulled me in and rested his face in the crook of my neck.
"That's probably a good idea," he answered back.
"So," I asked, "what's the plan for today?" He lifted his hand and rested it on my arm.
"Well, we get up, have breakfast with Melissa's family, and head to the beach."
"Sounds great. Ok, I think I'm gonna go shower now." I said and started to shift. Matt kissed my neck as I was getting up. There was definitely something going on, but I was still so unsure about how to approach it, or where to take it.
I jumped in the shower enjoying the pressure on my shoulders and neck. I love good hot showers. I was lathering up when I heard the door open.
"Geez...didn't realize I was walking into a sauna!" he complained.
"Well excuse me for taking a hot shower." I called back. I heard the toilet flush but didn't hear the door again. Just then the shower curtain flew open and Matt jumped in, naked as the day he was born.
"Excuse me?!" I asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Move over. You're using all the hot water." He pushed past me and began letting the water wet him down. I glanced down while he held his head under the shower and saw what I had touched the night before and only imagined in my mind. He was half-hard and his cock hung low and thick nestled in a neatly trimmed bush of red hairs. Like him, it was defined, covered in veins and oh-so-yummy. His chest, abs, arms and legs were dusted with a fine coating of the same color hair. I felt blood flowing into my own cock so I quickly turned and grabbed the shampoo to begin lathering my hair up.
"Ok, switch again," he said and pushed past me, his shaft sliding across my hip as we slid past each other. I quickly got under the water and rinsed the shampoo off my head. I leaned my head back and began rinsing out the shampoo I felt a large hand reach around me, plant itself in the small of my back, and pull me in. I stepped out of the water and met his gaze. He stared into my eyes. I looked down and saw that he was fully erect now. I didn't bother trying to pretend, and my gaze continued slowly and evenly up his torso. I met his eyes and he smiled at me.
"Hot showers make me a little hard. I guess they have the same effect on you," he said glancing down to my own stiff meat. I chuckled and grinned up at him. He pulled me against his body and I could feel our hard cocks pressing against each other. He lifted up a hand and put it on my cheek.
"Matt, are you sure you know what you're doing?" I asked, kissing his hand as it passed in front of my mouth.
"No. In fact, I don't have a clue in the world. But I know what I want and I know what I feel."
"Look...I don't want you make a decision as big as this in the heat of the moment. I don't want to do anything we might regret later." He looked at me, and I saw his eyes getting moist.
"Kev, this isn't just the heat of the moment, I can promise you." He put his hand on the back of my head and leaned down. His lips brushed mine, just like they had before. He brushed them again, and then again. He then stopped midway and kissed me softly. He then pressed his lips harder against mine. I felt his tongue lightly brush my lips and I opened my mouth in return. When our tongues met I felt a jolt all through my body. We kissed passionately for a while, letting the water splash us, our bodies entangled. I ran my hands down his back and rested them on his firm ass cheeks. He did the same and pulled me into him. We were slowly bucking against each other. He pressed me against the shower wall and I pulled his ass into me as he slowly pumped. I broke the kiss and put my hands up to his pecs and lightly pushed him back.
"Matt," I sighed, "you know you mean the world to me. You've been my best friend and I'm not sure what exactly is happening here, but I know it's happening too fast." He nodded and I saw his eyes well up.
"Hey," I traced his lips with my finger, "I'm not saying no, but I need time to process this. This is all really sudden and really new and I..." He put his hand up to my mouth.
"I know. Me too." He leaned in and gave me a last kiss before pulling away. He stood back under the water, then lathering up.
"Hey, want me to get your back?" I asked.
"Yeah, that'd be nice." He handed me the soap and I began sudsing up his wide back, feeling the sinewy muscles under my hands. I soaped his sides finishing with his lower back, my hands grazing his trim butt. He moaned lightly and I felt the vibrations through his back. He leaned up and the water cascaded down his back, rinsing the soap away. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"I'm going to get dressed." He nodded and I got out, leaving him under the soothing spray, and began drying off. I wrapped the towel around me and walked into the bedroom. I put on my red board shorts and slipped into a T-shirt. I stepped into my Adidas sandals just as Matt emerged from the bathroom. I sat on the bed and watched as he dried his hair and dropped the towel and began to get dressed. We didn't say anything and we didn't really even make eye contact.
"Matt, we really need to talk." I finally looked up at him.
"I know," he was looking down at his feet. He moved over and sat down beside me and finally met my gaze. "I just...I'm just not sure what to say."
"We've always been so close, and I don't want that to change for anything. Your friendship has meant the world to me." I looked down.
"I feel the same way, Kev." He put his arm around me and we got up and held each other. "I don't want anything to jeopardize what we have."
"I guess we just play it by ear, then, huh?"
"Yeah, guess so."
"And right now we have a house full of people that are probably about ready to eat without us."
"Uh huh," he smiled and winked at me. We let go of each other and headed out the door. We bounded up to the house eager to get some more of that good cooking into our stomachs before heading out for the day.
We spent the rest of the day off of a small sand island a good few miles off shore. Matt and I took turns taking the boat Melissa's parents had loaned us for the day. We went skiing, 'tubing, and just enjoying the waves and the wind whipping around us. After getting most of the activity out of our systems Matt and I set up a tent-like awning we had brought to enjoy a little shade.
Matt and Michelle left hand in hand for a walk along the little island.
After they had gone I grabbed a cold drink out of the cooler and left the girls to their own devices. I spread my towel out close to shore and spread some lotion along my skin hoping to promote that golden tan I was working for. I had been out for some time trying to mull over the strange events from the last few days. I didn't hear Matt walk over.
"Up for some company?" I glanced up to see him spread out his towel next to me.
"Sure. What's up?" I shifted to my side, facing him.
"I dunno." He pointed to the sunglasses, "The shades suit you."
"Oh, thanks. Yeah, they're pretty killer, dude."
"Keep 'em," he said lying down. I took them off and sat up.
"Matt, whatever. These are new, dude! You've probably worn them a total of what, two times?"
"Yeah, I wore them enough. Besides, they make my skin look really pale and my hair stand out." It was bullshit. Matt could develop an awesome tan when he wanted, and I knew anything that accented his russet locks made him look really hot.
"You're full of it! I can't take them, man." He didn't even turn his head.
"They're yours, Kev." He was adamant. I gave in.
"I don't know what to say."
"Thank you will do nicely." He finally tilted his head in my direction and smiled at me.
"Smartass..." I muttered. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." I reapplied some lotion and we watched the sun start to set painting purple and orange streaks along the sky.
We packed up our gear and sped back to shore. Melissa's mom had dinner waiting for us when we got there. We stuffed our faces and her family invited us back. They informed us they loved company and good-looking kids like us were welcome anytime. That got a chorus of laughter from the table.
We finished eating and after washing the layers of lotion off our skin and the salt out of our hair, we packed up the cars. Before I knew it we were speeding down the interstate, Matt behind the wheel this time.
"So, how's Michelle?" I asked hoping to bring up something a somewhat neutral. I knew we desperately needed to talk, but I really didn't know what to say or what to expect. I wasn't even remotely sure of what it was that I wanted to get out of this.
"She's alright." He didn't volunteer any more information, and for the first time we were enveloped in an awkward silence. I decided not to press my luck. I flipped on the radio and tried to find something decent to listen to. One of my old favorites, "More than words" came on and I turned up the volume. We both sat quietly listening. Normally Matt rakes me over the coals because rarely does a song come on that I don't sing to...at least a few bars. Today was different, and this song was hitting a little too close to home. I glanced over at my friend and I saw a lone tear streak down his cheek. His eyes never left the road, though.
I sat there trying to think of something to say -- something that would say how I felt. I kept coming up empty. In the span of a couple of days we had gone from the best of friends to something more. It was strange to say the least. I had known that I was attracted to guys for some time now, but I had always managed to keep my crushes and admiring gazes away from my close friends. Now I remembered why. Things had a way of getting really complicated.
"You don't have to say anything, Kev. I know."
"You know what, Matt? *I don't know. I don't understand what's happening. I'd be a fool if I said I didn't think something was going on, but I just don't know what to do."
"Yes you do." His voice cracked, almost imperceptibly.
"What are you talking about?" My eyes were starting to get a little moist now.
"You know it could never work." I saw a few more tears join their predecessor.
"Matt...I just don't know. I don't know what's happening -- I had just never even thought about you that way. I..."
"Kevin," he interrupted me, "I crossed a line that didn't need to be crossed. I don't regret it, and I never will. But," he continued, "I also know that our friendship is something I want to keep, and I feel like if we keep going we run the risk of losing it all."
"You know I feel the same way. You know you're my best friend, my bro, my dawg. I don't want to lose that, and I don't want to feel strange when we are together. I just...I just don't know..."
"Kevin, do you love me?" He finally looked over at me. His eyes were bloodshot and his voice was coming out in a carefully controlled tone.
"You know I do, dude."
"Well, I love you too. I think I love you more than anybody, but I know it can't be between us, not like that," he paused. "What I'm asking is if you love me enough to let me go."
"You're asking a really hard thing, Matt. Two days ago I would have never thought two macho guys like us would be sitting in your car crying about anything, much less what can or can't be between *us. I feel so confused! I mean, one minute we're just like always, the next we're kissing in a shower...I just don't get it."
"I know you don't. When we started becoming friends I knew that our friendship was different. I could tell from the beginning that I would feel closer to you than anybody else. It was so cool. Then, when we spent so much time together I realized what an incredible guy you are and I really liked how you made me feel about myself. Somewhere along the way I realized that I loved you."
"Matt, I feel the same way, but just because I love you as my friend, as my brother, doesn't mean we're going to jump in the shower together!"
"I know. I just wanted to express to you how much you meant to me. When I kissed you yesterday I felt something change in me. I knew what we have is special."
"Then why are you doing this? Why are you telling me nothing can happen? Matt, I don't know what I want, but you're not even giving me the option."
"I don't want to give *us the chance to fall in love, and definitely not the chance to break up and end up weird, estranged..."
"It's a risk you run, you know that." I massaged my temples. My head was starting to throb and my emotions were running over.
"I'm not willing to risk losing you, Kevin."
"So you're not willing to risk having me either. That's what you're saying."
"If that's what it takes." His expression conveyed all he was feeling, but his voice had gained a cold firmness. "I don't expect you to understand, but I hope that with a little time you will." We just sat there in silence for what felt like forever. Before I knew it we were sitting in our dorm parking lot. Neither of us was making any sort of a move.
"Matt, I'm not trying to be an asshole. I..." I just sobbed. He reached over and put his hand on my thigh and tilted my face up to his.
"I know. We're gonna get out of the car now. I know it's gonna take some time to get this shit sorted out. You know where I am, and you know I'm there if you need me. We'll get through this, and we'll be better for it."
"I'm glad you're so confident. I knew there was *some reason I liked you." He finally cracked a smile and we chuckled lightly. He pulled me in and gently pressed his lips on mine.
"And that's for the future." I reached over and hugged him tight.
"Ok, I'm gonna go up to my room now..."
"Don't be a stranger," he said softly.
"You either."
I shut the car door and trudged up the stairs feeling more alone than I'd felt in a very long time.
Well, that's it for chapter four. Let me know what you think. Things took a turn I didn't quite expect in this chapter. I have some definite ideas for the future but we'll see what happens. I'd love to hear from you. As always, comments, ideas and questions are appreciated. Flames are not, so please be kind. Farscape20@hotmail.com