Queer Fear

Queer Fear Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake..." I state, "Nice to see you again man..."

I walk up to Omari as we arrive. It takes me all the strength I can to muster walking up to him. I'm beyond shy and he hasn't left the comfort of the two other new boys. They all knew each other, it was clear. It's not rare for the Johnsons to focus on one at-risk school at a time when recruiting. I wouldn't have been surprised if Omari and his friends were just a few more of those people. They were attractive though, beyond attractive really.

"Eh----do I know you?"

He doesn't just say it in front of his friends but he says it in front of mines too. I turn to see the looks on Alimah and Chad's face when Omari questions my very existence in front of my face. It gets 20 times worse when Alimah Rodriguez takes it upon herself to break out into laughter.

"He's our local nervous case, ignore him," Alimah states cupping her arm immediately into Omari's, "I'll show you around camp."

"Actually you won't, Ms. Rodriguez," a voice corrects her, "Boys with the Male Head Counselor and ladies with the Female Head Counselor."

"I like the sound of that actually," Chad muses, "Female head doctor..."

"Who the hell are you?" the head counselor asks, "You aren't on my list."

This is coming from Alex Washington, the one person who Anais Rodriguez is scared to butt heads with. Alex Washington is this camp counselor that was around 2 years ago when I was a lot younger. He's known for being a stickler for the rules. He's a heavyset guy with deep-seated eyes that has this stare which makes you feel like you're doing something wrong even if you aren't.

"It's Chad," Page Jordan, the female head counselor states, "Please don't fill his head with any more compliments. I think it'll explode if he takes anymore."

"Depends on which head you are trying to fill Page," Chad continues on his quest to get under the Head Counselors' skin, "Because I've been told I last a long time. Ask Alimah..."

Alimah grabs Chad by the back of his neck, pulls him in and gives him some choice words. I think the rest of the old crew are really taken back by these new guys who just came.

"You OK," Alimah asks me before we separate.

"I'll be fine. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, the new boy kind of made you look like an idiot just now..."

I know what she's thinking. It's the same face she's given me time and time again when I get excited over a boy just to have him do something as embarrassing as forgetting I even existed. I look over at Omari and my heart sinks. I really got excited at the idea of spending the summer with him and maybe getting to know him on a different sort of level. He goes onto ignore me though walking with the other new boys who've taken to asking Alex a bunch of questions.

The helicopter landed in the eerie open field. As we walk to the cabins I can't help but keep thinking about the last summer we had here. Not too far from us is the mist-covered lake and beyond that...the dead woods. I feel an eerie chill come up my spine as I look past the lake to where James used to gather us all around and make jokes.

"Is it true this place is haunted?" one of the new boys shouts out.

I didn't know the new boys' names but Chad, Brian and I exchange looks. Brian Grandison was this really slim guy who never knew a stranger. He was the kind of guy who would just walk up to anyone and make friends. Sometimes he would force a friendship even if you didn't want one. He was nice enough but he could be a bit pushy. I remember one summer he followed Omari, Alimah and I everywhere proclaiming that he was the fourth wheel. Soon though he became best friends with James and ended leaving us alone. We were the three boys who had been around and had gotten to know James. We'd attended his funeral. Hearing about this place being haunted just kind of stirred up memories of James. James always used to say this place was haunted.

"Why the long faces?" Omari asks, "Did he say something wrong?"

All of a sudden not even Chad can "It's just...our friend died not too long ago."

"He died here?" Omari asks.

"Here at Camp Crystal Lake we don't acknowledge superstitions," he states, "This is a serious camp and a serious job for you guys this summer. Remember that before the kids get here."

Alex goes on to talk about rules but I hear one of the new boys whisper to the two other new boys, "He didn't answer the question."

They had a point. As we walk up the path towards the cabin they just feel different. Usually, this place was young and fresh even while surrounded by the eerie Dead Forest. This time was different. The Dead Forest seemed closer than usual. It's as though the campgrounds were shadowed by the forest. It seemed darker here as though the wide-reaching hands of the forest were gasping and choking the campgrounds.

There are 6 large cabins that have been constructed by moss has started to grow on them. Down further from the 6-bed cabins is the rectangular dining lodge which doubles also for a meeting place. Perpendicular to the rectangle dining lodge is the Crystal lake itself. The name seemed almost perfect because at night time when the water hit the lake in a certain way it created shimmers on the waters' surface that seemed like crystals.

"You guys go hiking in the forest?" one of the new boys asks.

There are three of them and three of us old boys. The three new boys walk on ahead with Alex. Chad and me follow close by. I guess we knew better than to ask questions like that about Crystal Lake. Even after coming to this place year after year, I still never was able to fully answer that question. One more year. That's all I needed. One more year and I didn't have to deal with the question of whether there was something in the Dead Forest.

"We never go in the forest," Chad answers the boys, "That's our number one rule. Never go into the forest. If you stay out of the Suicide Forest, you'll be fine."

"Chad---" Alex asks.

"Did he just call it the suicide forest?" Omari asks.

I notice Omari isn't asking Chad. He isn't even asking Alex. He's looking at me----the boy who he didn't even remember.

I mutter a quick, "Yeah. Yeah, he did."

~

The counselors' lodge is bigger than we expected. The only one that had their personal room is Alex. The rest of us had to share the large sleeping area with bunk beds attached on each side. The beds were small and uncomfortable but that was a small price to pay for attending a place like this. For inner-city youth who couldn't afford college, any help was beneficial and we all had our eyes on one thing.

"One more year...one more year...one more year," I'm whispering under my breath.

"I can hear you," Chad states from the top bunk.

"You know you didn't have to be my bunk buddy," I state.

"Who else was it gonna be? The guy who didn't even know you?"

He's talking about Omari. Right now I see Omari standing off with the two new boys.

There are three new boys. They are ridiculously gorgeous. Their faces all have some glaring facial features. Whatever school that they went to definitely had something in the water or something. They were fit too and I had no doubt that they were all athletes. It isn't until I see one of them pull out these athletic speedos that I put two and two together and guess that they were all on the same swimming team together. Their bodies were all definitely swimmer build. Truthfully it seemed like Chad fit more with those guys now that he had his little transformation then with me.

"He just forgot who I was..."

"No one goes balls deep into someone and then forgets they exist," Chad states, "He was being coy. He mentioned your name by accident on the helicopter while you were asleep."

"He did?"

"Don't get all excited. He still pretended like you didn't exist," Chad grunts seeming more annoyed that Omari didn't recognize me than I was.

"So what, we all get pretty close anyway."

Chad rolls his eyes, "Stop making excuses for him. What is it about you and these DL guys who all look like they stepped out of a GQ magazine..."

"I like what I like. Should I lower my standards..."

"You should stop being shallow."

"Says the boy who had a total makeover. It's easy for you to say."

"I started loving myself and the transformation came on its own," Chad states, "You should try it."

"You saying I need a transformation."

"Is that what you took out of what I'm trying to tell you?" Chad asks, "Because if that is the truth then you need more than a transformation, friend, you need Jesus."

He laughs at his own joke like he normally does but I just punch the box spring over my bed causing him to squirm in pain. He could probably feel it on the cheap-ass bed we were laying on. He did have a point though. I was shallow at times but I couldn't help it. I look back over at Omari. He and his friends are peppering Brian with questions.

I'm staring at Omari. His chestnut skin tone almost looks red in the light of the cabin. He has these curls that he keeps playing with. Omari was just my type. We kicked it off so easily. And now he was pretending like he didn't even know me in front of my friends.

"Did you get their names when we were on the plane?"

"The Spanish guy is Elias and the black one is Shaquille. And I'm sure you remember the guy you spent weeks talking about was the best date of your life until his father went psycho on you..."

Omari. Omari was his name.

I sigh at the memory of it.

"What do you suppose Brian is telling them?"

"Man probably some dumb shit...some shit about the man in the black hood..."

"Brian's not dumb. He wouldn't talk about that, especially not here," I tell Chad.

"Don't tell me you believe it too..." Chad states, "It's bullshit and I'm tired of you and Alimah walking on eggshells around it. HEY!"

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see..."

"Chad, don't..." I warn him.

Chad doesn't listen. He never does. He whistles hard enough to have the new boys hear him. The whole group walks over our way including Brian.

"You guys want to hear a scary story?" Chad asks the new boys, "One that Alex or Page won't tell you?"

The three new boys seem intrigued. The way they are looking at Chad just seems to feel a little weird.

"Chad doesn't..." Brian points out.

"I told him not to..."

"Not to ----what?" Omari butts in.

He's curious. He's so curious that he has a smile on his face. So do his friends Shaquille and Elias. I watch them gathering around the bunk. I notice that Omari has made sure to stand far away from me. None-the-less they were all interested enough to get close to the bunk that Chad and I shared. I look over at Chad wondering if he realizes what he's doing by getting into this right now in front of Brian.

"Everyone really does think this place is...well...different," Brian points, "There is this urban myth that there was a boy who committed suicide in the Dead Forest. Well, the myth goes that he came back from the dead and killed another boy."

"Stop it," I grunt...

Chad doesn't stop, "That other boy then became the new boy in the hood who was cursed to live in the Dead Forest until he finds another victim. That goes on and on. The boy in the hood keeps killing and there is always another boy in the hood to replace him."

Chad doesn't realize it but I see how Brian is reacting. Tears are swelling up in Brian's eyes. He's standing there looking shook to death. Omari is the only one who doesn't seem really affected one way or another by the story that Chad is telling. He's just standing there with his arms crossed as though taking it all in. Brian wasn't that strong though. He was crumbling and Chad just couldn't see that at the moment.

One of the new boys, Shaquille damn near swallows his spit, "How does the boy in the hood find his new victim?"

"Whenever he lowers his hood...the person is marked," Chad states, "We believe that's what really happened to our friend James. He went into Dead Forest one night...came back and said he saw the boy in the hood. Said the boy in the hood lowered his hood for him. James left camp and we all thought he disproved the legend. But then James ended up dead..."

I get a shiver down my spine. My heart is racing. Brian is silently crying in the corner. The new boys are all whispering about how "cool" this all is as though this is some sort of a fucking joking. Omari stands quietly off to the side listening to Chad. Then there was Chad himself. He loved moments like this. He loved moments where all the attention was centered directly on him.

I couldn't take it.

"Fuck you Chad."

I blow the words out of my mouth and storm off hearing Chad calling me back over and over. I ignore him though. It's really pissing me off that he would ever do something like that.

I walk out into the woods. Chad had a lot of good things about him but there was always that thing where he needed to make sure that he left a mark on people in some way, somehow. It's what I loved about him but it's also what made me beyond irritated with him.

It's night time and I feel like I can get a deep breath away from him. It's so silent here without the kids. I'd never been to Camp Crystal Lake when it was this empty. Usually, there were at least 100 campers here at any given time. It was a desperate waste of land for the week that the kids would be away.

I take a walk out towards the docks. I keep thinking about James and the night that he came back to camp claiming that he saw the boy in the hood. I keep remembering how freaked out he was. I remember even back then that James and Chad were making jokes to each other about it. That was the thing about James and Chad, they loved to joke all the time.

I sit on the docks...

"You good?"

I turn at that moment and I am surprised to see Omari coming out to the docks. He's standing there looking at me. His eyes centered on me as I'm sitting waiting.

"Oh look who it is...someone I don't know," I roll my eyes.

Omari sighs deeply, "Can I explain?"

"No need to explain. All you did was deny my entire existence in front of your friends."

He knew who he was. Omari was looking at me the same way he looked at me the night we had sex over and over and over again. He remembered exactly who I was and it sucked that he didn't feel comfortable enough to just say it.

"You saw how my father gets," Omari explains, "Those boys back there, Shaquille and Elias are all up my father's ass. One wrong move and guess who they are reporting to."

"Why?"

"My father just isn't my father. He's also my coach," Omari explains, "We have the best swim team in the country."

"How'd you end up here then?" I ask.

"The Johnsons are helping some of the best colleges look at Shaquille, Elias and I. In exchange we have to attend their little camp to raise its national profile."

"Sorry, you got stuck out here with the little guys," I grunt.

Omari slowly walks over to me and takes a seat next to me. We sit there silently for a few seconds and truthfully it starts feeling like it did a while ago when he wasn't denying me. It's night time already and the moon is starting to really set in its position in the sky. Omari crosses his arms and stares at the emptiness of the lake.

"Those crystals are beautiful," he explains.

"That's the only good thing about this place," I grunt.

He seems confused, "Why do you keep coming here? Why even show up to a place like this if you hate it so much."

"You wouldn't get it."

"Try me."

I take my time, "I'm not like you. I am not going to get an athletic scholarship. Even if you didn't you would be famous. People adore people like you----"

"What are people like me?" Omari asks.

I shrug, "Tall people. Men who are fine with a capital F. I don't get that kind of attention. I will live a mediocre life and because of that I need a mediocre scholarship."

Omari grunts, "Being fine with a capital F doesn't stop my father from hitting me every time my breaststroke is in perfect form or kicking me out for weeks the moment he finds me in bed with another man."

I pause.

"He did that."

"I just got back in his good graces," Omari explains, "So I don't want to risk it by Shaquille and Elias snitching on me and telling him that they saw me cuddled up with a sexy ass, non-mediocre gay boy."

I look over at him confused.

"You think I'm sexy?"

He pauses, "I can't afford to think anything about you. Not at this point in my life. I came out here not to flirt but to let you know. That...vibe we had...between the two of us. That vibe has to die. This summer probably is best if it's as non-eventful as possible. For both of us."

He gets up and walks away, not saying another word.

~

The next day we are in the dining lounge. There is a clear tension in the air between Chad and I. We're both sitting eating breakfast away from the rest of the group. We normally liked to sit by ourselves but I guess when it was just 12 counselors it did seem kind of rude.

"Everyone finishes your meals and we will get started on cleaning up...Alimah you are on garbage duty," Page grunts.

I'm not surprised by Page calling Alimah out in that way. Page Jordan was the head counselor and she had a bit of a bone to pick with Alimah. The thing was Page Jordan's sister Liza, who was James Johnson's girlfriend when he decided to end things with her and get with Alimah. Page, Liza and Liza's best friend Anais, the wicked witch of the west, had it out for Alimah since then. I could only imagine how Alimah was faring in the girls' camp stuck with girls who don't like her.

"Is that...gum in your hair?" I ask.

Alimah squirms up pulling an ice cube and placing it firmly on the gum in her hair. She looks over at me with those eyes that tell me everything is OK but I can see past that.

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"If those girls are being bitches you can tell Alex, he'll do something," Chad grunts.

He had a point. Page Jordan might have been a shitty Head Counselor but Alex played by the rules and the rules added in no-bullying.

"I told you I'm fine," she states, "It's almost all out..."

"I can talk to them for you," Chad offers.

`I told you I'm fine, Chad," she grunts.

"Chad just doesn't know how to leave things alone," I point out remembering him sharing the story about how James died.

"What's going on between you two?" she asks.

She knew us well enough to know that if we weren't acting ourselves something weird must have happened. I look over at Chad. He'd started all this.

Chad shrugs, "I mentioned what happened with James."

Alimah looks confused, "You don't even know what happened to James."

"He saw the boy in the hood," Chad explains.

A shiver comes up my spine, "Can we stop talking about this?"

Alimah rolls her eyes, "There's nothing to even stop talking about, Jarvis. Both of you are overreacting. There is no boy in the hood. James made it all up. He liked to fuck with people. You all know that. What happened to James Johnson was an accident, nothing else."

"So why were you trying so hard to stay away from Crystal Lake?" Chad asks.

I look at Alimah before she answers. I see her peering down at the tray as though something interesting is on it. Alimah had the patience of a saint. Girls never liked her because she was pretty and a bit of a tomboy so she attracted the attention of the best guys. She also never cursed or took part in a lot of drinking. She was always the designated driver when we went to parties back home. She was a realist but at this point, I don't get it.

"Just...didn't want to come back..." she finally states.

It's not a good enough answer. She knows it and we know it too.

"You were kind of nervous coming," I admit to Alimah, "It seemed like you had a real reason before the summer to avoid this place."

"I promised him!" Alimah slams her hand on the table, "Is that what you all want to fucking hear?"

She gets up off the table and walks off. It's crazy she started this conversation trying to fix things between Chad and me, but she ended up being the one mad. I can tell Anais and her little pack of giggling chickens was having a good fucking time at an expense to Alimah when they see her get up off the day and walk off.

I'm left with Chad and things get even more awkward. We don't talk for the rest of the time.

The tension in my little group is odd and it's all because of one thing. Or should I say one person: James.

What happened to James Johnson?

~

"The Johnson family shows up two days before the kids arrive. We need to make sure this place is spotless. NO REST UNTIL LUNCH!"

Alex is running this place like a drill sergeant. He wants us to make sure all the little camp stations were set up from boating to cleaning up the outhouse. Most of the boys are in charge of picking up any trash and debris leftover from the last year.

I'm staring over at Omari who has taken off his shirt. His friends have done the same which isn't really that surprising to me. These camps quickly turn into sexual experiences and let's just say the boys were looking for an opportunity to impress the girls by now. The only problem is the girls aren't the only ones aroused. My eyes swiftly glimpse over at Omari from time to time, but he doesn't even look my way, not even once. I guess he was serious about what he said about not wanting his father to catch him being gay again and a part of me just feels bad for him.

"You going to burn a hole in him if you look any further..."

Chad walks up to me. He had his garbage bag with gloves on.

"We talking now?"

"I'm sorry about acting like a dickhead earlier. I should have been more sensitive to you and Brian not wanting to bring up James.'

That was one thing I loved about Chad. He fucked up a lot but he was quick to take ownership of it. At least when it came to petty things like this.

"Cool."

"Friends?" he offers me his hand.

"Best friends," I state giving him a pound instead.

He smiles, "I'm glad. So what are you doing over here...almost everyone's out cleaning the kids' cabins."

"Almost everyone..."

I looked past him. We both see Omari and his friends carrying some of the canoes out to the decks. Their strong muscles are basically percolating at that moment under the humid summer heat.

I wave at Omari.

He pretends as though he doesn't see it but I know he does. He turns away from me as though I don't even exist. What's embarrassing is that Chad is there to see the whole thing...yet again.

"Here," Chad removes his shirt completely, "Now can you stop acting like a lil' bitch. You're embarrassing me with all that gawking shit you do."

I had to admit Chad had a nice body. His transformation made him look like he was trying to take place in a bodybuilding contest. He had the best body in camp by far. He has a tight strong abdomen and arms that were twice the size of mine.

He's joking of course, or so I think. Honestly, sometimes I think Chad masked the truth in all his the fuckery that he does on a regular basis.

"I'm not gawking."

"You're gawking."

I roll my eyes, "What's taking off your shirt going to do?

He shrugs, "You can look at me for all I care. At least I'm someone whose not going to act like I don't know you."

"Why do you keep bringing that up?"

"Because I hate that this keeps happening to you."

"Name one time..."

"The time you fell in love with that summer counselor who told everyone you were gay and stalking him and you almost got kicked out of camp. Or how about the time you got caught sucking Jamal Peter's dick and he told everyone that you paid him to do it..."

I'm irritated. By this point, we are circling close to the woods so I stop and turn around. I stand away from the woods facing him.

"You can stop twisting the knife now. I get the point. I'm bad with guys. But you're still not telling me why you care so much."

"Do I treat you nice?"

"Yeah."

Chad was the lion of our group. He hated when people messed with me or Alimah. It was almost as though he took it more personal than when people messed with him. I remember the reason he broke up with Anais was that she started picking on Alimah because of the LIza-man-stealing situation. He was the kind of friend who would make sure to have your back even before I had my own back.

All these years he never changed. All these years he stayed Chad, even after he became attractive and had the chance to go hang with his rich attractive acquaintances. He stayed best friends with me and Alimah. He stayed left behind by choice.

He asks me strange questions after a few silent moments of picking up trash and putting it into my bag, since his bag was full, "Hey Jarvis?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I attractive to you?"

"Does it matter?"

"Entertain me."

"Chad----"

"Answer my question," he pushes clearly wanting to make whatever point he was going to make.

To emphasize his point Chad gets close to me. He gets dangerously close. I hated the fact that I found my best friend attractive. I hated the idea that when he leans close to me I feel this sense of distraction.

"Yeah...you are attractive to me Chad," I finally admit when he's so close that I can lean in and kiss him right at that moment if I wanted to.

"Good," is his response, "Let me be the benchmark. You can be attracted to someone and still need them to be nice to you. You are worth a million Omari's. If he doesn't see how special you are and he's not willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to get with you then he isn't worth it."

I'm kind of shocked, "Thanks for that Chad. I needed that."

He had a point. I wasn't going to keep chasing Omari around anymore. I couldn't.

"I'm going to head back..."

"Ok, I"m almost done cleaning up here..." I assure him, realizing my bag was full.

I watch him walk off and return to my bag.

It takes me almost an hour more to fill my bag with debris. I keep thinking about Chad for some reason. He came awfully close to kissing me back then. I wondered if he would do that. I wondered if my straight best friend cared enough about me not choosing the right guy to distract me with a kiss. I laugh at the thought of kissing Chad. I'd never really considered it before this summer was over, but for some reason, I'm considering it now.

And if Chad wanted Omari off of my mind then he probably succeeded in more ways than he thought. I was a heartless romantic and I can't get the moment between Chad and me out of my head.

"Jarvis..."

I stop. I turn. The sound was passing but I can still hear it. Someone had just said my name. Someone had just called me.

"Hey, Jarvis..."

"HELLO?"

I don't see anyone. Omari and his friends have taken one of the canoes out to the lake for a ride and from the cabins, I can see Alex screaming at them. I'm too far to hear what he's saying but I'm pretty sure Alex is telling the boys to stop fucking around and get back to work because that's usually what Alex does.

But this voice was close. I can hear calling out to me.

"Jarvis..."

I turn at that moment towards the woods. My heart is in my stomach when I see a figure standing there. The shadowy figure is deep inside the woods.

"Chad?" I call out.

He's the only person who I could think would be all the way out here or be dumb enough to be in the woods. No one went into the Dead Forest. No one. That was rule number 1 here at camp. Of course, Chad didn't believe in most of that so I figure it's him.

Except the person doesn't say anything. He just stands there.

"Chad?" I call out again.

The figure is so dark and the mist from the woods is so thick that I can't see it. That's when I see the person taking a few steps towards me and the closer the figure gets the more I realize that this is not Chad. Chad had managed to gain a very unique physique when he started hitting the gym and this wasn't it.

There is one thing I make out though: a hood.

It can't be...

There is a cold chill that rises up to the side of my neck. It's much too hot for me to feel so cold at this moment. A shiver spreads throughout my body. My heart is racing so fast that I think it's going to jump out of my chest and take off running because the rest of my body won't keep up.

My body enters fight or flight mode but the anxiety causes me to stay stuck in this place as my hands are shaking.

I can't breathe fully. It's like every time I open my mouth the cold air overwhelms me. I feel lightheaded.

That's when I remember all the stories. I remember all the old wives' tales that I wanted to think were untrue.

"Hello Jarvis," the boy in the hood says right before he removes his hood.

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