So, Where Do I Go From Here
"I don't know what I want," said Joe, "it has all happened too quickly. Just a month ago I was contemplating my last year of teaching and what I would do in retirement. Now I am postponing retirement, coaching baseball again and I have a hot kid living down the hall that gives me a hard-on every time I think about him."
Joe and Tyler were laying in bed the morning of the last full day together. Tony was using Joe's chest for a pillow and playing with the hairs of his treasure trail. Cuddling and talking about life was one of the essential therapeutic elements of their annual vacation.
"Well, at least you are making progress," Tony responded.
"How is that progress?"
"You are at least admitting that Tyler gives you a hard-on."
"Yes," chucked Joe, "and blue balls."
"You are giving yourself blue balls, my friend. All you would have to do is wink at the boy and he would jump into your bed."
"I don't want to take advantage of him. His entire life has been turned upside down in the last year. His football dream is gone, his mother is--well very sick, he's starting a new career. He is vulnerable and can get hurt very easily."
"That's true, but he's also a man. Look, Tyler will always be a bit of a kid to you, but you are not his daddy. I told Tyler to knock off the daddy shit; now I'm telling you to knock off the `he's just a kid' shit. Men get to make their own decisions, so let Tyler decide what is right for Tyler. If you don't want a relationship because you think Tyler is too young for you, I can respect that; but, if you don't want a relationship with Tyler because you think you're too old for him, that's bullshit."
"Okay Professor Smarty Pants, what would you do; where do I go from here?"
"You know the old saying, `Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.' I have no idea what I would do; but, what you shouldn't do is get hung up on what the differences are between you and Tyler rather than what you have in common. Yes, you are older than Tyler; yes, you have money and he doesn't; but you both love sports, like kids, and have good hearts." I'd say you have more in common than not."
Joe and Tony cuddled silently, each relishing the final unhurried morning of their time together. Slowly, Tony slid his hand down and grabbed Joe's cock. As Joe grew in his hand, he looked up and into his lover's eyes. Regardless of what the future held, both men knew this would not, could not change. Tony whispered, "Enough talk."
He then positioned himself between Joe's legs so he could watch as he slowly, seductively swallowed Joe's entire eight inches. Joe grabbed the sheets as his entire body tensed in response to overwhelming pleasure. Tony worked up and down the rigid shaft, his tongue adding to the sensory overload. As Tony massaged Joe's testicles he would gently pull to forestall the impending orgasm.
Finally, Tony impaled his throat on Joe's cock and emitted a low vocal vibration. Joe moaned and his body spasmed as he flooded Tony's throat with cum. It was more than Tony could handle and he had to pull off to swallow. When he did, a long rope of cum exploded from Joe's cock in an arced trajectory to land in the canyon formed by his pecs. Tony scooped up the pearly white lava with his tongue and fed it to his stud.
When the fog of one of the most intense orgasms of his life began to clear, Joe moved to reciprocate, but Tony stopped him. "Not now love, tonight I want you to fuck me crazy, but this morning is just for you."
Joe and Tony shared a long hot shower, and as they were shaving Joe said, "I have reservations at Remington's Steakhouse for seven this evening, but other than that I was hoping you would decide what we are doing today."
"I was thinking we could grab some breakfast and then walk along the lakeshore to the Museum Campus. I am feeling the need for some exercise this morning. Also, I received an email about the Field Museum updating its Native American exhibit, and I am curious about how they may have changed it. "
"That sounds like a plan." Joe said, "Maybe we will even have time to visit the Shedd Aquarium."
"I almost forgot how much you like zoos, wildlife parks, and aquariums."
"Remember that the Spring Break you spent with me in Tulsa. Between a day at the zoo and freezing day of fishing for striped bass on Keystone Lake, I was surprised you ever agreed to vacation with me again."
"The fishing just about did me in. I remember getting back to your parents cabin and I couldn't stop shivering. You stripped us both naked and we climbed into bed to get warm. You wrapped your body around mine and finally I got warm. You know that was probably the only time we have been naked in bed when neither of us had a raging hard-on."
"I wonder if Tyler likes to fish?" Joe mused.
Joe and Tony stopped at the Corner Bakery and Cafe for breakfast. Tony was first and ordered Avocado Breakfast Wrap. "What the hell did you just order!?" asked Joe.
"An Avocado Breakfast Wrap."
"No way, you are not going West Coast hipster on my watch." Joe looked at the young girl taking the order and said, "Cancel that. We are both having pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and coffee, black."
The waitress looked at Tony who just shrugged and said. "He's like this until he's had his first cup of coffee. I guess I'm having what he's having."
When the waitress went to place the order, Tony said, "Poor kid, she has to be beat by the end of her shift. She looks like she's about five months along."
The conversation turned to Grant and Gary, Tony's son's and Joe's godsons.
"How are the hooligans doing?" Joe asked.
"They are both doing well, Dean's list." Tony beamed with pride. "Grant will be a senior next year. His major is Public Policy and he plans to go to law school. He would like to stay at Stanford, but he knows that the University of Oklahoma Law School would be a stepping stone to practicing law at home or going into politics. Gary is majoring in Computer Science with a minor in something called Management Science and Engineering."
"Wow, that sounds intense."
"Yeah, I can have a conversation with Grant about what he's studying, but with Gary the conversation is sports or surfing."
"What do you know about surfing?"
"Not one damn thing, but I at least understand the essential terms: board, wave, gnarly, and shark."
"Tell Grant I'll pay for his law school wherever he decides to go."
"Joe, you're already paying for their undergraduate education. You don't have to pay for Law School as well."
"I don't have to do anything, but I want to do this for my godsons. I love those boys. Being their godfather is the closest a single gay man could get to adopting kids until recently. I am just so grateful that you and Virginia let me be a part of Grant's and Gary's lives. Now we need to get going before I start getting all sentimental and order myself one of those damn Avocado Breakfast Wraps."
Tony laughed, beat Joe to the check, and went to pay. When no one was looking, Joe put five one hundred dollar bills under one of the plates then walked toward the restroom and watched to make sure she found the bills. When the waitress started to clear the table and found the money, she clutched the bills, slumped down into the booth, and wiped away a tear. "Yes," thought Joe, "this is what money is for."
At the Field Museum Tony led the way to the Native American exhibits. What impressed Tony was the careful effort made by the museum curators to include Native American perspectives in designing the exhibits. Too often in the past, white anthropologists and historians interpreted the stories of indigenous peoples through the lens of European eyes.Tony had worked hard as the chair of the History Department to add minorities and women to the department. He also bore the scars of battles with alumni, politicians, and sometimes even colleagues that these new voices were too critical of the mythology of American Exceptionalism and Manifest Destiny.
To his credit Joe was patient while Tony studied the meticulous details used to honestly tell the story of one people to another people. From personal experience Tony understood the difficulty that came with being a cultural translator. Finally Tony said, "Okay Joe, is there anything you want to see that you didn't get to the other day. I can't believe you and Tyler spent so much time taking selfies with Sue." The star of the Field Museum's fossil collection is Sue, the largest and most complete T-Rex ever found.
"No, I'm ready to go to the Shedd. At the aquarium, Joe and Tony spent a relaxed afternoon admiring the four-fifths of the world the terrestrial animals don't get to see. When they went to the show at the Oceanarium Joe started to sit in the front row. "Oh no," Tony said, "I'm not getting splashed with dolphin water." The show was educational and entertaining. In addition to the dolphin there were seals, otters and Beluga whales.
Joe was most fascinated with the shark exhibit. As Tony watched Joe sit silently and gaze at the Sandbar Sharks, he couldn't but notice the similarity. Like the sharks, Joe had to constantly be on the move and the greatest threat to both came at the hands of the ignorant. After a bit, Joe noticed that Tony was watching him rather than the sharks. He smiled bashfully and walked over. "A penny for the thoughts," Joe said.
Tony looked Joe in the eyes and said, "Croesus, even you don't have enough money for these thoughts; but if you are a good boy, I can show them to you tonight."
"I promise to be good and naughty," smiled a mischievous Joe. "I think we need to start back toward the hotel to get ready for dinner."
Our Story is Written in Choices, Not Words
Two hours later, Tony and Joe were being shown to a table by the maitre d' at Remington's Steakhouse."No Avocado Wraps," Joe said, "you will need all your strength for later."
The waiter asked if they would like a starter and Tony said, "I think I will save the extra calories for dessert. Just bring me a Moscow Mule."
"I'll take an Old Fashion," said Joe.
"My friend, these have been a fun and interesting two weeks," mused Tony. "I suspect you have a lot to think about when you get home."
"Yeah, after my chat with Mindy, I don't know what to think about Charles and David. But even if I never mend fences with them, I shouldn't shut out the rest of the family. I will certainly make an effort to connect with Michael if that is something he would want."
"From what I know about your cousin, the kid had to be scared shitless to come out to his father."
"Tell me about it. I knew I could have kicked the crap out of both Charles and David, but I still dreaded what they would say and do when they found out about me. According to Mindy Michael dropped the bombshell at Thanksgiving two years ago. Apparently, just before Mindy was ready to serve the pumpkin pie, Michael said he had something to say. She said he took a couple of deep breaths and then said--I'm gay. Immediately, his brother and sister closed ranks in solidarity, but Charles just sat there stone faces. Mindy said that through the entire dessert Charles didn't say a thing. When the family got up to go watch the football game, Michael didn't move. Finally Charles said--Michael it is a family tradition to watch the Thanksgiving game, so unless you have decided you are not a part of this family, I expect you to join us in the den. Charles made Michael sit beside him so he could put his arm around him and hug him for the entire game."
"That is amazing," said Tony. "If you had told me that one of Charles Sinclair's children was coming out, I would have bet money on Charles disowning him or her."
"Michael was also betting that. Mindy told me she went to the laundry room to wash some table linens and tripped over Michael's suitcase. Apparently, he had packed clothes, his computer, and withdrawn a couple of thousand dollars from his savings. He had also parked his car two blocks over just in case he needed to get out quickly."
The waiter came back with their drinks and asked whether they were ready to order. They had both decided on the Remington, an 18-ounce, bone in, dry aged, strip served with a loaded baked potato.
When they were again alone, Tony asked, "And, what about the other quandary?"
"Huh?"
"Have you made a decision about Tyler?"
"I don't know. I can think of a hundred good reasons why me and Tyler are a mistake, and not one reason we should ever consider being anything but friends."
"I can think of one; it might make you happy."
"Happiness is overrated. Everyone is constantly searching for happiness, when what they should really be looking for is contentment."
"So now you've become a stoic. At the risk of sinking to pop psychology let me quote the words of the great philosophic duo: Simon and Garfunkel. Don't talk of love Well, I've heard the words before It's sleeping in my memory I won't disturb the slumber Of feelings that have died If I never loved, I never would have cried
Yes my friend, you are a rock You are an island And you are alone."
"No my friend," Joe said in a low whisper, "I have you."
"Yes, that you do."
The waiter brought their meals and a bottle of wine. Tony steered the conversation to topics less morose. He knew the seed was planted; now it needed time to sprout and grow. Besides, this was ultima nocte--the "last night," and it would not be wasted on worrying about the future. All that mattered for the moment was anticipation of a night of masculine pleasure and sensual comradery.
When they returned to their suite in the Chicago Athletic Hotel. Joe began to slowly undress Tony. Each article of clothing was purposefully removed and folded until Tony was standing naked in the middle of their suite. Joe admired the slim athletic body that in so many ways was still the same as when he first explored it in college. Anthony Kesslinger was ageless. In a past life, this beautiful man surely inspired Donatello or Michelangelo.
Then Joe began to remove his own clothes with the same ritual and care. At last, he too stood nake. His powerful and muscular body developed from hours in the gym, on the field, and hiking through nature on full display.
Tony took Joe's hand and led him to the bed. Tony settled onto the bed and Joe slowly enveloped him. Joe began to softly kiss his soulmate and Tony responded by gently grazing Joe's lips with his tongue. The animalistic urgency for release that ruled prima nocta was sated. Now the need was to achieve a sensuous and spiritual bond.
For what seemed like hours, two men unashamed and affectionately mapped each other's bodies with tongues and fingers. They imprinted their smells, tastes, and sexual resonance on each other's memory. And, when bold enough, peered into each other's eyes, into each other's souls.
Finally, Tony whispered in Joe's ear, "I need you."
Joe began to enter Tony. As he did, Joe was overwhelmed with joy. Over the years and with all of the men, Joe had only found two with whom sex went beyond the physical to stir that long slumbering feeling: love.
Tony wrapped his arms and legs around Joe. Each thrust moved the two closer to the brink. Joe's long thick cock massaged his lover's prostate invoking intense spasms of ecstasy which he shared back with powerful contractions of his sphincter.
Suddenly Joe's entire body stiffened and his cock released a gusher of cum deep in Tony's bowels. Tony's cock was trapped between his and Joe's bodies; when Joe climaxed, Tony responded with his own flood of semen that coated their stomachs.
Joe's mind was lost in a sexual haze. The intensity had released memories Joe had locked deep in his subconscious. In that state, Joe uttered an involuntary declaration, "I love you Brett."
Tony embraced Joe and said, "I know you do Joe. I love you too."
Joe rolled off and soon fell into a blissful sleep. Tony cuddled into Joe who unconsciously pulled Tony into a tender embrace. Tony thought back over the years. The first time Joe called him Brett, Tony was conflicted, even a bit hurt; however, over the years he had come to see these episodes as necessary releases of guilt, pain, and regret. Joe never remembered them the next day, but it always seemed as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Tony smiled and buried himself deeper into Joe's embrace and whispered, "My friend, It is time to build a bridge to your island."
Back to Oklahoma
Joe and Tony were packing for the flight back to Oklahoma when the concierge knocked on the door carrying packages. Joe tipped him and took the packages. "Tony help me with these. I need to check them before we pack them in our luggage." Joe opened the first box; it was a football autographed by Mike Ditka. "I think our dinner at Ditka's was the highlight of Bill's trip." "Absolutely," Tony said. "He was in Bears fan heaven. The smile on his face when they set that 22 ounce rib-eye was the biggest I've ever seen on that dopey face. "
"After he polished off that Triple Layer Chocolate Cake for dessert, I thought we would need a wheel barrow to get him to the taxi."
The next package was a framed picture of Tyler catching a foul ball at the cubs game. It was signed by Willson Contreras, who had hit the foul."
"How did you get this picture, it's amazing?"
"Actually, I owe David's wife, Carrie, a big thank you. After Tyler caught that ball, I made an offhand comment that I wish I had gotten a photo. Well, the next day she called and told me she could get me that picture if I wanted it. She is in charge of Sinclair Oils PR department and she contacted some of the agencies the company uses in Chicago and told them what she wanted. They had contacts with the company that broadcasts the Cubs games. One of their cameras captured Tyler's catch and they sent her the still frame. She had it printed and then contacted the Cubs PR people to get Contreras to sign it."
"If you don't mind telling me, what did that cost you?"
"A couple thousand for the photo, reproduction rights and printing, and Labor Day with my cousins."
"I am sure the smile on Tyler's face will make every minute with your cousins worth it."
"Oh, I'm taking him with me. He has somehow charmed Charles and David, so he can entertain the bubbas while I catch up with the rest of the family."
Joe handed Tony a box and said, "This is for you."
Tony opened it and inside was a first edition signed copy of Carl Sandburg's "Chicago Poems." All Tony could say was, thank you and give Joe a hug. Years before they the two had a discussion about Joe's presents and that Tony felt uncomfortable about not being able to reciprocate. It took a while, but Tony finally came to understand that for Joe the reciprocation was to simply accept what he offered.
Joe handed Tony a second box with the insignia David Yurman Jewelers. "So, what did I get Virginia this year?" Inside was a gold, diamond and onyx pendant necklace. Tony looked at Joe and said, "You do realize that Virginia knows these presents are really from you?"
"You told her?"
"Geeze Joe, sometimes you are dense. Do you really think a college professor could afford things like this? Since I am too principled and too afraid of being a prison bitch to be an international jewel thief, that leaves you as the source of the queen's crown jewels."
"Does she think it is weird that I buy jewelry for you to give to her?"
"Nope. First, she knows if you weren't gay, the two of you might have gotten married. By the way, thank you for being a truly committed gay man. Second, she once said it's like having two husbands: a rich one who gives her nice jewelry, and a poor one who gives her great orgasms."
Joe and Tony were still laughing when the call came that their taxi had arrived to take them to the airport.
Thank you for reading "Quarterback Keeper." I very much appreciate the comments and words of encouragement I have received from readers. I also have another story, "Tough Love in Kansas City" going on nifty.org. If you would like to be included in updates on my stories, send me an email.
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