Quarterback Keeper: 3
Rise and Shine
Eight-o'clock Sunday morning Tyler was awakened by Joe knocking on his door and saying, "Get up sleepy head. It's time to get ready for church."
Tyler replied, "Go ahead, I'm not much of a church guy."
Joe walked into Tyler's room and said, "Hey Stinkpot, that doesn't really matter. You are a teacher and a coach in a small town in the Bible Belt; you are expect in the pew Sunday morning regardless of how tired, sick, hungover, or fuck you are. So get a move on it."
Trying his last argument, Tyler said, "I don't have any church clothes."
"Not a problem," retorted Joe, "I bought you some." Joe reached into the hall and retrieved a hanger with a dress shirt, slacks, and a tie. "And don't try to claim they don't fit. Your mother gave me you exact sizes. Oh, I almost forgot, here are your socks and dress shoes. So get your ass in the shower now. I am going to get some breakfast ready."
Tyler resigned himself to going to Church, and got out of bed forgetting that his morning wood was still raging. Tyler suddenly went beet red and tried to cover himself with his hands. Joe laughed, "Damn son I got you a blue shirt, but now I see red is your favorite color." Joe walked away leaving a sheepish young man to hunt for his towel.
Joe was toasting some bagels and nucking some ready cooked sausage when Tyler appeared. "Damn," thought Joe, "He cleans up really nicely....This will be harder than I thought."
Tyler said, "Good mornin'."
"Good morning," Joe said, handing him a plate with sausages, bagels with cream cheese, and tangerine slices. "I usually don't eat much for breakfast on Sunday morning. If this isn't enough, there is cereal in the cabinet."
"This is fine, I usually don't eat breakfast on Sunday morning," Tyler smiled. "Unless it's left over pizza and beer from the night before."
"Well," said Joe, "you are a grown up now. Speaking of growing up, where is your tie?"
"I... uh,,,, well, I....."
"You can't tie a necktie," Joe said with a smirk.
"I always had clip-ons."
"I will tie it for you today, but we will have a lesson in big boy skills like tying a necktie because I am not tying your tie everyday for the next nine months."
"Wait, there's a teacher dress code. They didn't say anything about that when I interviewed."
"There isn't a dress code for all teachers, but there is one for you."
"Huh?"
"Yes, you will wear a tie to school everyday, except Spirit Days when you will dress like an idiot with the rest of us."
"Why."
"In case you haven't noticed when you look in the mirror, you are a young stud. Every girl and some of the boys will have the hots for you. The tie is a reminder to them and you that you are a teacher and they are students. Also, the tie will remind you that during the day, your primary job is to teach, not coach football, baseball, or any other ball they throw at you. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, I have never worn ties really, and I guess I never thought..."
"You never thought that teenagers would try to get into your pants. Well they will, and that is a game most dangerous for a teacher. We'll talk about this later, but just keep that in mind. And, if it will make you feel less conspicuous, I will go back to wearing a tie."
"You wore a tie when you started teaching?"
"I wore a tie everyday until I stopped coaching. Like I said, it was a reminder that I was a teacher and a coach, not a coach teacher. If someone asks why you alway wear a tie you can blame it on that asshole head baseball coach."
"If there is anything I've learned, it is not to badmouth you in this town. You are a living legend to these people."
"Just remember, it only takes one fuck up and they will be pulling down your statue and pissing on it. Okay, enough talk about our images, go get that tie and we will get going."
"Just one more question Joe."
"What?"
"Do you really think I am a young stud?" Tyler asked with a devilish smile.
Joe pointed to the bedroom, "Go and get that tie!", then he thought to himself, "If you only knew stud, if you only knew."
As they were walking down the apartment steps William asked. "So what is your religious flavor""
"Flavor?"
"Yep, we're like my mother's fridge when I was growing up, chocolate and vanilla. If you wanted strawberry you had to go down to the corner drugstore. Here in Salt Fork we've got Southern Baptist and Episcopalian. The closest Catholic Church is 15 miles away and the closest Methodist are 10."
"What's the difference?"
"The Baptists have a praise band and a zealous pastor, the Episcopals have an organ and whoever the Diocese sends out. I attend the Episcopal Church."
"Why?"
"First, I like organ music. Second, at the Southern Baptist Church gay people are sent to hell; at the Episcopal Church they are invited to dinner."
"I'll go with you,' Tyler said.
"St. Matt's it is," said Joe because the big Episcipal Church in Enid is St. Matthews.
As Joe and Tyler slid into a pew, Tyler noticed that Bill Masterson and his family were two pews up. The rest of the congregation was small. Three or four families, a couple of older couples, around five senior citizens who looked to be alone, and three mischievous teenage boys in the second pew. Tyler thought he had met the boys the night before at Matty's.
Joe leaned over to Tyler and said, "Looks like we have trouble brewing in pew two. You take the outside aisle and I'll take the middle. Just as a young man who was a visiting seminarian from Uganda got ready to start his sermon, Joe sent him a signal to wait and Joe walked down the middle aisle and Tyler the side aisle and took seats on each side of the three juvenile delinquents. The seminarian smiled and started his sermon.
After the service Joe and Tyler greeted the guest pastor and he said thank you so much for being here today and winked. The three boys were next in line to shake hands and then followed Joe and Tyler out onto the church lawn. Joe looked at them, smiled, and said "I hope Coach Simmons and I didn't embarrass you guys too much." "No way coach, my cousin Trey Johnson played for you and he warned me that you take the team's rep on and off the field real serious." Mike Walters, the group's leader said. "Yeah," chimed in his brother Jack, "We can't wait to tell everyone you guys sat with us in church."
As they were talking a slender and fashionably dressed lady walked up, smiled, and said, "Thank you. Would you two gentlemen join me and the boys for lunch? My husband, Kent, will be finished with his golf game soon and should be there as well."
Joe looked at Tyler who nodded affirmatively and said, "Thank you Mrs. Walters, we accept your invitation."
"Great, and coach, surely you remember my name is Ann." Then Ann turned to her boys and said, "I have to meet with the Social Committee for ten minutes, so run home and set the table." Next, to Ricky Butler she said, "Ricky, you are welcome to have dinner with us as well, just ask your mother first." Ricky smiled and took off on a run to find his mother.
"Coach Bartlett and Coach Simmons..."
"Please, Joe and Tyler," said Joe.
"Okay, Joe and Tyler, if you will wait here a few minutes, I will finish my meeting and we can walk to the house. It's just a couple of blocks."
Joe and Tyler continued to talk to people on the church lawn, and had to politely turn down three more dinner invitations. Promptly ten minutes later Ann walked up with Ricky and they were off to the Walters home. When they arrived they found Kent and the boys setting the table.
Kent looked up and said, "Coach, it's good to see you. I hear you had to take care of the three musketeers this morning."
"I hope I didn't overstep," replied Joe.
"Not at all. I should have warned the boys about the Bartlett code: Respect country, community, school, team, family, and yourself."
"How many sections to the Bartlett code are there?" joked Tyler.
"Too many." Joe said. Then he turned to his host, "Kent, let me introduce Tyler Simmons. He will be teaching social studies, and assistant coaching football and baseball."
"Nice to meet you," said Kent, shaking Tyler's hand. "You are learning from the best. I will never forget playing for Coach."
"Dad," said Jack, who was listening in, "you played baseball for Coach Bartlett?" "Yeah, I was on the first team he coached, but that was a long time ago--sorry coach--and by far we weren't his best team."
"Don't sell yourself or the team short," said Joe. "Jack, the first year the team was 9 and 4. The second year the team was 14-1. They won the Conference and lost in the second round of state play. Your dad was my ace starting pitcher."
"Wow, Dad, that is so cool."
Joe looked with confusion at Kent who seemed a bit uncomfortable with the conversation about his past on the team. When the boys left to help get the food on the table, Joe said, "I hope I didn't say anything wrong."
"No Coach, I'm just kind of embarrassed that my boys don't really know things about me. For the last 9 years, I've been in the intelligence service. I can't really say much about what I did, but it fucked up my family life. I fail to live up to the Bartlett code. Finally Ann told me I had to choose the career or the family. It was a hard choice because I was addicted to the adrenaline rush of the job."
"Fortunately, I got my head on straight and made the right choice. We decided to move back to Salt Fork a year and a half ago, so the boys could go to Salt Fork HS. I was overjoyed when I heard they might get a chance to play for you. But, the truth is: I have had a hard time reintegrating with the community."
Joe slipped an arm around Kent's shoulder, "Thank you for your service and sacrifice. If there is anything I can ever do, let me know."
"Thanks Coach, you're the best."
"Dinner is ready," Ann called from the dining room.
"Damn, hot and caring," Tyler thought as he followed into the dining room, "Is this a daddy complex, or am I falling for Joe Bartlett."
Coach Tyler
Monday morning Tyler was up early. He was too excited to sleep. When Joe walked into the kitchen, Tyler was eating a breakfast sandwich and downing a cup of coffee. "Damn Tyler," said Joe, "I heard the shower at five this morning. You aren't ten and this isn't Christmas."
"I know, I am just so worked up. I want to do well and I have so many ideas about how to improve the quarterback position and develop a passing game."
"Hold on Stinkpot or you'll wet yourself. This is the first day of football camp, get to know the team and the staff. Have fun. Hey, where's your tie?"
"Really Joe, you can't expect me to wear a necktie to coach football."
Joe smiled and pulled a whistle out of his robe pocket. The bite guard was black and it dangled from a yellow lanyard. "This is the coaches necktie." Tyler's smile was so big it barely fit on his face.
"What are you doing today?" asked Tyler.
"The State's Social Studies Curriculum Committee is meeting today. I should be back around five. Why.?
"Well, I thought you might stop by and watch some of the camp. Maybe give me some coaching tips."
"Sorry bud, maybe tomorrow."
Later, when Joe got back to the apartment he was carrying a couple of pizzas and a six pack of Budwieser, the first thing he noticed was a very unhappy looking Tyler slumped on the couch, still wearing his coaching gear and swinging his whistle between his legs.
"So what's got you acting like a whipped puppy?"
"Not what, who: Avery Anders?"
Oh, him." Joe was all too familiar with Avery and the rest of the Anders clan. Avery's father, Robert Anders was president of the Salt Fork State Bank and treasurer of the booster club. Avery was an entitled asshole who used his name and his father's money to get whatever he wanted, including starting quarterback. "So what did Avery do?"
"Total disrespect. Kept calling me Coach Ty under his breath. Told me I was running the drills wrong. Wouldn't listen when I tried to correct his passing form. He's even turning the other players against me. When I talked to Coach Wilson he just shrugged and said Avery is a mess. It's like everyone is afraid of this kid."
"It's not Avery they're afraid of," said Joe, "it's his father. Robert Anders is president of the local bank and he determines who gets loans for homes and cars, who has a line of credit and who doesn't."
"Can't they get a loan at another bank?"
"It's not that easy, the Anders family own four other banks in the area, and banks in larger cities like Enid, Alva, or Woodward aren't interested in making loans in Salt Fork."
"So you're saying I'm screwed."
"I wouldn't say that. Do you have a backup QB?"
"Not really." said Tyler, "The Junior quarterback is a weak passer, plus he and Avery are peas in a pod. The Sophomore QB has an arm and is quick, but he is green. What am I going to do?"
"Well tomorrow at the first breach of your expectation, you are going to send Avery on a ten lap run. When he gets pissy you are going to make it 20. When he refuses to run the laps, bench his ass and put in the sophomore. You will focus all of your attention on the younger kids no matter what happens."
" I don't think Wilson will back me."
"Nope, he won't. I will take care of Robert Anders; it's time someone took that fat bully out at the knees. You just gotta trust me on that. So, cheer up and have some pizza and beer."
"Okay," Tyler said sceptically.
Attitude Adjustment
The next morning at 9 o'clock Joe and Bill Masterson were sitting in the A.D.s office when Robert Anders came bursting in red faced and snorting like an angry bull. "Bill Materson, what the hell is going on with the football team. Avery just texted me that the wet-behind-the-ears assistant coach you hire has benched him and all the senior and junior backs and receivers. You'd better get your ass out there and fix this now."
When Anders barged into the office, the door hid Joe enough so that he wasn't seen. Bill smiled and said, "Now Robert, why don't you close the door and we will discuss this rationally."
"There is nothing to fucking discuss, you......" Anders suddenly notices Joe and his face went from fire red to deadly pale in an instant.
"Hello Robert, for your information, that wet-behind-the-ears assistant coach is my mentee. As for benching Avery, I told him to do that until Avery learns to be respectful of the people that deserve it. And for your information Tyler Simmons deserves respect."
Anders looked at Bill and said, "This is bullshit Masterson, Bartlett isn't a football coach. What's he doing in this conversation?" Bill stood, walked into the hall and closed the office door.
Joe stood, squared his athletic body and said. "Listen you fucking turd. I am in this because I am the only person in this town you can't intimidate. In fact, I have your puny balls in my grasp. Just in case you have forgotten, I own 13 percent of the bank's shares. If I vote with your sister at the next stockholder's meet, she will be president of the bank and you will be lucky to be a teller at the drive-thru. But even more critical is that, if I pull my deposits and Sinclair Oil closes its accounts, the state regulators will swoop down on you like vultures on roadkill. Then you and your daddy will be guests of the State of Oklahoma for 5-10."
"If you do that Bartlett, I will tell everyone you're gay."
"Seriously, you think I care. Here let me show you." Joe opened the door and asked Bill to step back in the office. "Bill, I have something to tell you, I'm gay."
Bill laughed, "Sorry pal, that is old news." Then Bill turned to Anders, "If you think outing Joe will make a difference, you are wrong. I and all the administration and half the school board knows. Joe doesn't make a big deal about being gay because he doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, not because he is ashamed or afraid. And seriously Robert, you and I both know that Joe can go anywhere he wants and live a very, very comfortable life without the aggravation of teaching or coaching."
Anders slumped, "Okay, what do you want me to do?"
Bill said, "You, I, and Joe are headed out to the football field, and you are going to tell Avery he has one chance to adjust his attitude and show Coach Simmons the respect and cooperation he is due, or Avery will be blackballed from all sports and activities at Salt Fork High School."
When Avery saw the three men walk onto the field, he ran up with a big shit-eatin' grin. Joe stepped away far enough to hear the conversion, but not be a part of it. "Well Dad," said Avery, "did you get the coach straightened out."
Anders looked beyond Avery and hollered for Tyler to join them. "Coach Simmons, Avery tells me you benched him, why?"
Tyler looked at Joe who just nodded. "Sir, because he is being disrespectful and uncooperative and it is affecting the entire offensive squad."
"I see. He also told me you have given him ten laps as a punishment."
"Sir, I gave him ten initially, but when he refused, I increased it to 20."
"Thank you Coach Simmons. You can return to practice," Bill said.
"So Daddy now what?" asked Avery.
"Well son, now you run 20 laps, and you better not dog it," Robert Anders said.
"What the fuck!?" Without warning Avery's dad backhanded him across the face.
"Listen Avery, it is time you grow up. I have been bailing your ass out for a long time. I have been using my money and power to bully people into getting you what you want. However, I was just served a helping of the pie I've been dishing out, and it is bitter. So, you will get with the program and do whatever the teachers and coaches tell you to."
"Oh, and if you get kicked off the team, I will put your Jeep in front of the bank with a For Sale sign, and you will get a job for your spending money. Are we clear?"
Avery just stood and stared at his dad in total shock.
"Look son," said Robert Anders, "you've got twenty laps to figure it out. This may be the most important decision you make this year, so start running."
Avery took off on a sprint not sure what just happened, but certain his entire world was just turned upside down.
The rest of the Junior and seniors who had joined Avery's rebellion began to filter back toward practice when Coach Masterson yelled out, "Where do you slackers think you are going? I think you all better join Avery. It's twenty laps or until you puke up your breakfasts. Now start running."
The rebels took off to join their leader. Across the field, Jerry Wilson who had been working the offensive line during the entire confrontation, could barely contain his smile as he thought, "That's another one I owe you Joe."
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