Protection by Angel Alexander angel@alex-net.freeserve.co.uk
This is a work of fiction. It is based on my life in a twisted surreal way. It is my first story but I had to write it at one point, now seems as good a time as any. If you have any comments please let me know.
The rain hurt, it had been a while since I felt that. Glasgow spanned the ground before me as my hair clung to my head and face. I had to see where I grew up just one more time. A smile crept across my face. The cathartic motion of the water allowed me to realise my decision was right. I knew what I was doing.
Over the past few months, my life had ended: death being the reason of it all. People always say "You'll get over the loss," well I didn't lose them, my family that is, they were torn away from me. Did you hear about the train crash in London that clamed all those lives? My parents and sister were on the train; they didn't walk off. I coped with it well thanks to Benjamin; the rumours of how he died have left an ever-lasting scar.
Eight months ago my life was perfect. Thanks not only to my supporting parents but also to Ben. I had gone through school with him and to be frank had never noticed him, until the April of my fourth year at high school. By this point I had established myself as an all-round nice guy. I had a high GPA and was a good sportsman. I believe the sporting side of me was the part that had earned the respect I was given. The respect I was about to call on. I was happily making my way along the quiet lunch time corridors; most of my fellow students were holding up the social areas, I wasn't in the mood for people. I heard a muffled voice, followed by "Shut the fuck up, you filthy little poof, there isn't anyone to help you," I recognised the voice. It was David, he was well known as an arrogant bastard with too much time on his hands, not that I had a personal dislike for him. I rounded the corner. He was standing there towering over this fragile little creature. He began to speak again, "Stop your whimpering, or I'll make this even harder on you," I slowly approached. As I reached them I began to speak.
"Do you need a hand," My voice was calm and cool. David turned to me.
"Yeah, I wouldn't say no, he deserves all he can get." He was smirking at me as he said this. I could feel my fingernails digging the palms of my hands as my fists clenched.
"No, you misunderstand," I said, with a trace of anger, "I was speaking to Ben." His jaw dropped, he froze. Ben looked at me. The innocence in his eyes of coal, I almost cried, it was the innocence that faded from my eyes along time ago.
"No! Please don't, he'll just hurt you." Ben whimpered. His nose was bleeding; the red seemed so alien on his snow-white complexion. I lashed out at David catching him completely off guard. My hand felt dirty as it stuck his left cheek. He was still in shock and almost fell over. I don't remember ever hearing of him being hit before.
I shouted, "Leave, just walk away," He did, without a word he slowly left. As soon as he was out of sight I bent down to Ben and held him in my arms. He wept like a baby, as I stroked his raven black hair. He looked up at me about to speak I stopped him. "This will not happen again, I won't allow it. I had no idea what he was doing to you." He continued to cry and nestled his head into my chest; I could feel my shirt dampen with the blood from his nose, or his tears.
I helped Ben clean up in the toilets; he looked more human after splashing water on his face. I noticed him staring at me as I changed my shirt; I simply smiled at him. Some colour came to his face as he blushed. Ben walked over to me, he seemed nervous. "Thanks," he said and stretched up and kissed me on the cheek and pulled away. I let out a small laugh.
"Keep that up and people will get wrong impression of our relationship." I said with a broad smile.
"I am sorry, I had to, I never expect you to even speak to me Angel," His face was sincere, "What exactly is our relationship?" There seemed too much importance in his question.
"I think we should just let it evolve, but no matter what happens, count on me to help you when you need it." My reply was kind and, for once, honest.
"Why?" His question was simple, but an answer seemed to take some time.
"I think.... It's because you remind me allot of someone I used to be very close to, he's just not here anymore," I think my eyes glazed over. He didn't pursue the matter. The lunch bell rang. "I'll meet you outside the social area at 3.30," I said walking through the door.
Okay," He replied, his voice was soft and more at ease.
My last two classes ran as smoothly as ever. People were exaggerating the state of David and questioning who was responsible. I was engulfed in my own little dream world. The final bell sounded and I left.
Benjamin was waiting at the door, smiling at me as I approached. He started walking alongside me. I stopped and turned to him. "Do you want to go out tonight?" I asked suddenly realising I needed to get drunk.
"He looked at me, seeming rather bewildered, "Where?"
"I don't know, just to a pub," I said thinking it obvious enough.
"I'll never get in, my parents won't let me." He seemed shocked at the idea.
"Tell them you're staying with me, when you come over bring a photo, I'll make you some ID." I couldn't face going out with my friends and he really needed a night out. To me it was the perfect solution.
He looked up at me, with a sparkle in his eyes, "That would be amazing, what should I bring?"
"An over night bag and... no that's about all," I was never very good at arranging things; they just seemed to work out. I gave him my address and telephone number. "See you about 8." I said as I headed toward my scooter. I know people think it looks ridiculous, me on a scooter that is, but not being old enough to drive yet it gave me a mode of transport, which is added freedom to my life.
As my sister was the same age as me, as in my twin, she was in my year and rode home on the scooter with me. Her name was Angelica. She did look like me I have to say about 2" shorter at 6' with long hair but a female version of me in every other respect. She knew me inside out, I had told her I was gay around a year ago, she had always known, so took it well. She even helped me tell my parents, who also took it with no major problems. I hadn't told anyone else, yet. By the time we got there the house was empty, completely devoid of life. Our parents, like every weekend, had gone to our cottage or but'n'ben at Loch Lomond. We stopped tagging along about six months ago.
Upon entering my room I showered, trying to clean the layer of dirt David had left on my skin, as if water would really help. I felt a sudden cramp in my stomach as the scalding water reddened my milky flesh; I was hungry beyond belief. I hadn't eaten at lunch. It had been worth it. I would still see the look of relief in Ben's eyes as David left. I had to protect him, for nobody had protected me. I was going to do all I could to keep the life in his eyes.
I left the shower; my legs were starting to blotch from the temperature of the water. I scratched at the fine layer of white hairs that covered my legs, and stopped at the discomfort. I wandered down to the kitchen sporting a pair of tight white boxershorts. My sister was standing there waiting on me.
"So... What happened today?" She was blunt, but there was concern in her voice.
"I couldn't let it continue not after...... I just couldn't." I replied, not able to look at her, I focused on the floor.
"I heard, I guessed it was you, he's just your type. I understand you had to stop it, it would have been against your nature to walk away. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into?" She moved closer as she said this and lifted my face with her hands and looked into my eyes, what appeared to be a reflection looked back.
"I do. I will make sure he's okay. We're going out tonight. Would you like to come?" As I asked her I wondered if I would regret it. I just wasn't sure how open Ben would be with my sister, but I suppose I can always take the rains.
"I'd love to, but where?" I had stepped back and the wicked grin on her face was obvious.
"Yes, a gay bar I'm that predictable," I said blushing horrifically.
"I hope you've informed Ben of this, he may not be comfortable." She had grown stern and reminded me of our mother.
"He should be fine, he was staring at me as I changed my shirt, Oh and he kissed me," I said trying not to smile. She looked shocked.
"Found yourself a boyfriend, have you?" her face softened.
"Don't be ridiculous, I don't even know him," I appeared to be justifying this to myself. "I'm making food and getting dressed, I suggest you do the same," I added indignantly. As I progressed to the pantry on my hunt for food I heard the telephone ring. Angelica answered in the kitchen.
"Hello Mrs Briers (Ben's mum), yes this is Mrs Alexander but please call me Theresa. No it's not a problem. Really Angel raves about Ben all the time. No I must pop out at 7.30 but I shan't be away long, if you'd just like to leave him in Angels hands. Yes he'll be fine and Angelic will be here. I'll get Angel to drop him off at home tomorrow. Okay then, bye." Angelica then called to me. "I sure as hell hope you appreciate me lying for you."
"Thanks, I love you," I replied in my most sarcastic tone. I heard her leave the kitchen; I continued what I was doing.
After my meal I flopped on my bed. I felt myself drift away, it was only five o'clock, I had plenty of time.