PRIEST, FOREVER 6
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"PRIEST, FOREVER" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
PRIEST, FOREVER
by Andrej Koymasky © 2020
written on January 21st 1995
Translated by the Author
English text kindly revised by Alun.
6 - THE PRAYER
One afternoon, Benjamin entered the Church. He knelt in a pew and simply prayed.
"God, were you really near me when those two soldiers raped me? Were you really dying on the cross and therefore couldn't come to rescue me? You really want me to return to life with you?" Looking at the crucifix, he again continued with his prayer, "Well, You are a strange God, but if Marco does trust You so much, possibly you are also a smart God. So, then, do in such a way as Marco and I can make love with each other. Shit, how is it possible to speak with someone like You who never answers? One talks, talks and cannot even be sure if You are listening or not! But, You know, Marco is the most extraordinary man in the world, and when he looks at me I feel like melting. Do you know that these are really wonderful sensations? Who knows if You can understand me? Did You ever have a boy or a girl? Bah, perhaps a God doesn't need it, right? OK, listen, now I have to go. But we will meet again, all right?" he said in his heart and stood up.
Just in that moment an old woman that entered the Church, addressed to him: "What did you came to do here in the Church, you, nasty piece of work! Are you trying to steal something?"
"Don't talk nonsense! I came to pray."
"To pray, you! As if in our village everybody didn't know what you are. Out of here, shameless boy!" the woman hissed.
In that moment Don Marco arrived: "Woman, what are you saying? God's house is always open to everybody, you have no right to say such things!"
"But, Reverend."
"Go and pray to God for forgiveness. It is better for you if you do and remember that He said, 'Don't judge if you don't want to be judged yourself.' Three Hail Marie's as a penance."
"Marco, what a commotion!"
"I have been too sharp, may God forgive me."
"Then, I can came again to the Church?"
"Anytime you feel like."
"Did you see? You succeeded in persuading me to set foot in Church."
"I? I didn't do anything. Anyway, I am happy you came."
"Hey, I didn't do it just to be seen by you. I thought you were in the school."
"No, not today. They sent me away. I feel like they are conspiring against me behind my back." Don Marco said, smiling.
"Behind your back? Nothing bad, I am sure. Who could not like you?"
"Well, I think it is because in a few days it is a year ago since I arrived here."
"Right. One year passed and at times I feel like if you were here for years."
"It is true, it has this effect on me too."
"Nowadays, you are one of us."
"Thank you."
"You should come more often to the tavern, understood?"
"Sure."
The Cardinal summoned Don Marco just the day before his anniversary, "Oh, Don Marco. I am pleased to see you again. How are you?"
"Fine, thanks to God."
"Yes, I can see that. And how do you feel, staying in Roccasella?"
"Very well. There is still big work to do."
"That is true and I know that you are really busy and taking pains to succeed at all costs. I have summoned you here... because I have received some complaints."
"Complaints? Please, tell me, if I did something wrong."
"Complaints, that honour you. It seems that Monsignor the Abbott doesn't approve of your activities. You make the poor people work and the Parish fields are again starting to produce. You re-opened the school and the kids are learning to read and write. You had the violins be played in the Church. Ah, about that point, I decided to assign to your parish Church a sum of money to have your organ repaired. The people have started to attend the Church again. Moreover, scandal of all the scandals, you went so far as to frequent the tavern, that belongs to Monsignor the Abbot! To own a tavern, it seems, it is not bad idea, but to enter to drink a glass of wine, it is! No, my dear Don Marco, don't worry. Monsignor the Abbott didn't find in me a good listener. Continue what you are doing and as you are doing. I am really glad I sent you to Roccasella. Maestro Perri wrote to me that tomorrow there will be a celebration in your honour, so I have decided that tomorrow I will come to do the canonical visit to the Parish of our dear Don Caselli. By the way, how is Don Sergio?"
"Not bad, Eminence, but he is gently declining day after day."
"I will meet him with real pleasure. Well, tonight you will sleep here at my residence and tomorrow morning soon, we will go with my carriage to Roccasella. Canon Stazzi, who will accompany us, will ride your horse. So, during the journey you will have time to tell me everything in detail as to what you hope to achieve. Now I'm busy, if you will excuse me."
"Benedicite."
"In nomine Domini. See you tomorrow morning, Don Marco."
They entered the village, all decorated, amongst the clanging of bells and between two wings of villagers waving branches in bloom. Everybody exposed at their windows or balconies their Easter bed covers or, if they didn't have one, white bed sheets, quilted with flowers. Also the tavern was decorated with branches and flowers and at the village gate there was the Count with an honour squad, to receive the Church Prince coming in, on an official visit. When they arrived in front of the Church, they were welcomed by the music of the two violins and the children choir.
After the solemn Mass, the Cardinal went to the rectory to visit the old parson.
"Eminence, I would have liked to come downstairs to welcome you, but lately my poor legs..."
"Don't get up, be at ease, Don Caselli!" the Cardinal said while Don Marco withdrew to leave them alone. "So, what can you tell me? Anything interesting?"
"Ah, Eminence, I am glad I can meet you again. Next year I will no longer be here."
"What are you saying!"
"Yes, Eminence, I will stop disturbing you, now this Parish is in very good hands. I thank you for having been so kind to send me Don Marco. He really is a man of God. He has a gentleness, a force, a vigour and a tenderness that make him an exceptional man and a wonderful Priest. He is wise, he shines for his piety. He makes sermons incredibly beautiful, full of love and doctrine."
"I am happy to hear all that. He was our best student in the seminary."
"You did treat me more than well, sending him to me. To me, he is more like a son, thoughtful and affectionate. Therefore I can now go in peace. Once I have arrived I can help him from Up There, as I cannot from here."
"How can you be so sure that?"
"Can you keep a secret, Eminence? As if I was telling you in confession?"
"Do you doubt it?"
"No, certainly not. The fact is that... I had a vision. It is not the first time that Our Lord blesses me in this way. I knew that a new Priest was coming and also when even before you wrote to me about Don Marco. I knew he would improve the conditions of this village and of this parish. In my last vision, I saw that I will die on the first of November at three 'o clock in the afternoon, therefore I am preparing myself for this last journey."
"Did you have some more visions? Would you tell me?"
"Certainly, Eminence. Don Marco will pass a difficult trial and he will leave this village next year. He will be ordained Bishop at the age of twenty seven and he will become a Holy Bishop. In two years a war will burst out but our land will not suffer from it. These are the visions I have had. I don't know if they are just the fruit of my old age. But I believe they are authentic. I have never told anyone about my visions, but you. Use what I told you as you think better."
The Cardinal nodded in assent: "I have no difficulties in believing you, Don Caselli. Well, when you are in Heaven on the first of November, please be the special patron of Don Marco. I entrust him to your goodness."
"You can count on that, Eminence."
The Church organ was repaired and the Maestro gave a great inauguration concert. Never has the Church been so crowded, everyone from the village had turned up. The school was completely put in order on the ground floor and the roof was repaired, so that the works could be started on the first floor. The poor people's stable was working more than well and the parish fields were worked with love and skill.
At the end of Summer, the Count's soldiers succeeded in making an ambush to Giannotto and to slaughter all his gang. Giannotto seriously wounded, managed to reach the Church on his horse and entered it whilst Don Marco was hearing the confessions. A woman run away scared, seeing that man completely covered in blood. Don Marco, coming out of the confessional, ran to hold him and made him lay on a pew.
"Giannotto!"
"That's the end, the bastard wounded me. The soldiers, are not so far away and they are coming to take me."
"The Church enjoys the right of sanctuary so they cannot enter to take you."
"I wanted to see you, before leaving forever."
"Yes, Giannotto."
"I have some gold, here with me. It is not so much, but, give it to Beniamino, from me. Will you do it?"
"Sure."
The soldiers arrived and were about to enter the Church. Don Marco barred them passage saying, "You cannot enter as this is the House of God and here there is the right of sanctuary!"
"Make him come out, then."
"Never!"
"We will not move from here and the Church is surrounded. If he doesn't come out before the sun has set, we will burn the Church."
"You cannot do that and I presume you know it very well. If not, just ask his Excellence the Count. Anyway, if you do it, we will burn here inside, Giannotto and I. May God forgive you!" Don Marco said and barred the door of the Church.
"You really have a lot of courage, eh, Priest?" Giannotto said with a smile, when the young man went again at his side.
"On the contrary, I was scared to death!"
"Even at the time of the procession?"
"Sure."
"Then, you are twice exceptional. Hey, tell me, will Hell be so bad?"
"I'm afraid yes, but why? You are not thinking of going there by any chance, no?"
"So where can I go? I have stole, killed and pillaged."
"It is enough if you repent with all your heart."
"I don't know if I really can repent. Well, for some things I can repent."
"Start by asking forgiveness for those, then. Our Lord is good and merciful. He will hear you."
"But I did so many bad things. Would you forgive me?"
"With all my heart, Giannotto, with all my heart indeed."
"Because you are a good man."
"Our Lord is infinitely more good than me, therefore, have faith in Him. He is waiting for you as a son, as the best of his sons."
"You really believe He will be disposed to forgive me?"
"He knows how much you did suffer. He knows you are not a bad man."
"I am not a bad man?"
"Not more than me or any other man. Rely upon Him."
"If I had met you before, possibly..."
"You met me now, it is not too late." Don Marco said holding the dying man's head on his lap and caressing his ruffled and blood stained hair.
"Yes, I'm sorry for all I did wrong and also for the wrong I could have done without realizing it. I ask you for forgiveness, Priest."
"Not to me, but to Him."
"I'm ashamed to ask Him and you are His man. Ask Him forgiveness from my part. He will hear you for sure. And ask also forgiveness to everybody I did hurt, in this village."
"Yes, Giannotto, all right. I absolve you in the name of the Father, and of the Son..." Giannotto breathed no more. "...and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Repose in peace, now, Giannotto, my dear brother." Don Marco said, tears wetting his face, caressing the man's bristly cheek.
Don Marco decided to hold regular funerals for Giannotto and in the liturgy sermon, he said that with his last words the outlaw charged him to ask forgiveness to everybody. Several people cried, together with Don Marco. After the liturgy, Don Marco gave the gold to Beniamino, from Giannotto.
The boy said, "You did a splendid sermon, Don Marco, thank you. Giannotto was not a bad man. You understood that."
"He loved you."
"I know. And I too loved him."
Not even one month after Giannotto's funerals, the Count also passed away. It seemed that the horse's had bolted and the Count couldn't control them and fallen into a swollen river. The Count died instantly from a broken neck. His family didn't want the religious funerals. Don Marco anyway said a Mass for his soul.
In the month of October, Don Marco went with Beniamino to help the parish vine dressers for the grape harvest. At evening, while tired they were going back to the village, Beniamino, merrily leaping in the fields, dislocated his ankle.
"Oh, shit, what a pain! I cannot walk!"
"Stay still, wait. I will bandage it with my handkerchief, then I will take you back to the village." Don Marco said.
He crouched to bandage his ankle, then he took him in his arms and lifted him. Beniamino girded his neck with his arms. They smiled to each other, and Don Marco was about to resume the walk, when Beniamino strongly kissed him on his mouth, caressing his face and head. The young Priest felt like he was wrapped up by flames, his legs gave out and he had to sit on the ground. Beniamino embraced him and kissed him again, caressing his body. Don Marco reciprocated the kiss, caressed the boy's body, feeling filled with emotion.
"Fuck me..." the boy begged.
Don Marco parted from him. With gentleness, said: "Let's go back to the village."
The boy bit his lip, then said with a coarse voice: "All right."
Don Marco took him again in his arms, and at a fast pace took him to the tavern.
For several days the Priest was terribly upset. At the end he asked Don Sergio to hear his confession. "Forgive me, father, because I sinned."
"May the merciful Lord listen and bless you. I was waiting for you, Don Marco. Tell me."
"I... I have fallen in love."
"It happens, my son. You are young."
"Yes, but... I have fallen in love with Beniamino!"
"Yes? He his a sweet boy and very handsome."
"But he is a boy. I always had this problem, I presumed I was able to restrain it, but on the contrary..."
"The fact of being in love, is not a sin."
"But I kissed, caressed him. I was near doing it, I did lose all my control. I was near betraying my vow. And, moreover, with a boy."
"Nothing changes, even if it was with a girl."
"But a Priest is presumed not to..."
"Didn't you learn something by hearing the confessions? A Priest is not different from a married man, nothing more, nothing less. Also a married man can take a fancy, or fall in love, for another person. Perhaps also to cheat on his wife, this is part of the human weakness. But if he realizes he did wrong, he obtains forgiveness. We Priests, my son, in comparison with the married men, have an advantage and a disadvantage. We cannot be widowed and marry again, but we can obtain the dispensation from the vow if we are not able to abide."
"But with a boy..." Don Marco insisted, confused.
"It wasn't your choice, there is who is attracted by the opposite gender and who by his own. It is a mystery and it is not us to judge it. Especially if what pushes us is love and not just lust."
"But there was also lust."
"Love, in his physical aspect reveals himself right with the desire. The strong desire to belong to the other, to give himself to the other. You, my son, gave yourself to God and now feel that you would give yourself to a human being that you love. You feel confused because you feel lacerated between two loves. You have just to understand which one is stronger and then to keep faith to that love."
"I want to remain a Priest, even if unworthy."
"We all are unworthy. If this is really your choice, try not to surrender to temptation. Try to remain faithful to your promise."
"But if I couldn't manage to?"
"As any married man, recognize your mistake and ask God for forgiveness. But don't worry. Love, my son, love and you will be free."
"But, what if I choose Beniamino?"
"Love, my son, and you will be free. I absolve you from your sin." the old Priest said with a very low voice, bent his head and passed away.
The bell rung the three chimes to announce to the town that it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon and it was the first of November.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 7
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