Okay guys, here's the first in what I hope are a long line of stories. This is first one isn't really all that sexy but sets up some background info for the future stories.
I should say that all the names have been changed to protect the innocent...or the guilty, depending on who they are. Also, you should know that this is semi-autobiographical. All the experiences, unless otherwise noted, are from my history.
Please feel free to offer feedback.
Thanks!
Paul
At almost 36 years old, Paul couldn't believe it was his reflection he saw in the mirror. Tired and blurry-eyed, he scratched his patch of chest hair as he tried to make sense of where his life has led him.
"God," he muttered silently, "I'm so fuckin' fat. No wonder I don't want to meet up with anyone, why would they want a whale like me".
Paul moved to the shower, starting the water. Damn, he thought, got to have that water pressure looked at again. Paul took off his jockey shorts and stepped into the weak, but warm, stream of water. He forgot to take a piss so he released in the shower. He hated doing that but he wasn't willing to hold it for the duration. He let the water slowly cascade over his form before waking enough to get the soap lathered on his sponge and began scrubbing. He finished by washing his hair, shutting off the poor excuse for water pressure, and toweling off.
The air temp was cool. He tried to get the room warmed up before his shower but with the cats scratching at door, he didn't want them to wake his wife. Not that they would have ever woke her, but he still didn't want to risk it. He needed this quiet time before his wife and kids woke.
Paul got dressed in a black cotton short sleeve shirt and a pair of black jeans. The shirt was kind of clingy but he didn't mind because it didn't hug him. He hated banded shirts and he really hated small shirts. He dug around the room for his black socks. "Fuck, another thing to get done" he cussed as he looked around the room at the piles of clean clothes that needed to be pressed, folded, and put away. Normally Paul wouldn't get dressed but for some reason he just wanted to be prepared.
Just as he made his way out of the bedroom, the radio went off in their room. He stepped back inside to hit the snooze button. That would give Lisa, his wife, another 9 minutes of sleep.
Paul made his way down the skinny, dark hallway of his double-wide trailer. Again, he cussed at the amount of laundry piled along the floor. He continued until he got to the bathroom located at the end of the hallway. He lifted his shirt, put on some deodorant, put gel in his hair leaving it kind of messed up, and put some cream on his face to combat the dryness on his forehead and cheeks. Since the kids and the cats shared this bathroom, he made a note to change the cat box later.
He finally made it to his destination of the living room. He found the familiar black spiral bound book and opened it. Today's prayers would be replaced by a need to journal. He didn't feel all that spiritual today anyway. He felt like he needed to write...and write he did.
March 5, 2002
"I can't believe that in 17 days I turn 36. I just can't believe it. Another year has passed and I haven't got anything to show for it. You know, it's kind of sad to be a has-been before you ever a star. Here I sit, no job, no income, no degree, what am I doing?
Lisa and I had another go around yesterday. This time her mom got involved. While I was out looking for a job, Lisa's mom grilled her about what was the deal. Why we weren't making it financially and what I was using the money for that we borrowed. I flat out told Lisa that the times we have used the money to get ourselves in a better position, we still end up "robbing Peter to pay Paul." Lisa finally confessed she's trying hard not to throw me out but maybe that's what we need to do. Maybe it's time for a separation."
Paul heard the alarm go off again. He heard Lisa stir and hit the snooze once more. It would only be a short time before Gerrit wakes up and the day would be under way. He closed his journal. That was about it for the day.
Paul felt oddly energized by his short written release. He put his journal back and went into Gerrit's room and got him up. Being unemployed did have its benefits, but it also had its drawbacks.
The next hour or so was busy. Lisa finally got up and got herself going for the day. Paul wrestled with Gerrit's insistent need to be pokey in the morning but finally he got Gerrit on track. Finally Anne woke up.
Anne was fun in the mornings. She was a rolley polley of a thing and easy to get dressed. Even though he wasn't working full time, Paul still took Anne to daycare half days to keep socialized. It also gave him time to get housework done and look for jobs.
Once Gerrit was off to school, Lisa was off to work, and Anne was safely nestled in at daycare, Paul returned home. Paul got to work on the dishes. After quickly making light work of them, he moved on to getting the cat litter changed. He decided to wash the entire bathroom down. What was to be a 5-minute task turned into 30 minutes, but at least it was done.
Next Paul worked on the dirty laundry. Thankfully they were in piles so he just washed a load as the day went through, only to stop and fold and put away clothes as they were finished.
"Wow, it's 11:00 a.m." Paul was please with himself. "I'd better take some time to do some looking."
Paul signed on to his computer. While he waiting for it to boot up, he threw a classic Elton John CD into his player. He turned up the volume. He went to the kitchen and got himself a glass of ice water and went back to the computer.
Even though he was unemployed, there were a couple of vices he kept going. His cable modem was one. He loved the speed and the "always-on" access. He quickly clicked on the icon and went searching the job sites, there was just one problem: Paul didn't want to search for jobs right now.
From under his belly, he felt the stirring of his cock. His dick was another reason why he didn't like his body. He never bothered to measure it, he just always complained that his dick was "teenie weenie" and that was it. Anyway, he started to search his usual free porn site he had kept hidden from his family but even that wasn't enough for him.
He needed a "real time" experience. Paul sighed and hit the "home" button on his search engine. He decided it was a waste of time. He would look for jobs instead.
Later that day, Paul was restless. He had picked up Anne from daycare. She was still small enough where she took a pretty sizable nap in the afternoon. Gerrit wouldn't be home from school until 3 p.m. He tried to nap since he was tired, but he couldn't. His mind was busy thinking. He was remembering a day not long ago...
It was a cool, bright October day when Paul went over to Robert's house. Paul loved the neighborhood. The district was nestled between a hospital and a park which had many old and grand houses with beautiful trees that lined the streets. On this particular day, the sun illuminated the fiery reds and yellows of the fall foliage. Paul had his window open and could smell the presence of fall as the cool wind blew on his face.
Robert was a very special friend of Paul's. He was the pastor of the local gay church and also owned a cleaning service with his roommate Michael. Robert was in his 40's with grey thin hair, a curly beard and brown eyes. Robert wasn't the cutest thing but he was very passionate and kind. Robert had been a constant source of support through Paul's struggle to leave his wife. Paul has made a point to distance himself from Robert in the physical sense. It was just easier that way. Paul wanted a platonic relationship.
Paul walked into the house. Its dark wood floors were reflecting the warm fall sun's rays as Paul called for Robert. The smell of baking was in the air. Paul took in the aroma, wishing he could stay for supper, but knowing that wouldn't happen.
Robert was busy getting ready for one of his roommate's birthday dinner. It was some chocolate cake concoction that was requested. It seemed that it was a group effort. One roommate baked the cake and Robert was responsible for the frosting.
"In here, dear," a voice called from the kitchen. Paul rounded the corner to see Michael, Antoine, and Robert.
"Oh I'm so excited," exclaimed Antoine. "Today is my birthday and I can't wait! Can you come tonight?"
Paul shook his head no. Antoine knew full well why. "When are you going to dump the bitch and make the switch?" Paul just rebuffed his comment leaning over to give him a hug and wish him a happy birthday.
"Well I should be off, I have a few preparations for tonight," and with that Antoine was gone.
"Well Paul, when are you going to finally allow yourself to be happy?" asked Michael.
"Not today, please" pleaded Paul.
"Very well but you are going to have to answer it very soon." With that comment Michael was gone too.
From the very small and cramped kitchen quarters, Robert was just staring. He had a smirk on his face as he whipped the frosting. Paul could tell he had been drinking a little bit of wine already. Robert knew not to rub salt into Paul's wounds. Robert changed the subject.
"So what have you been doing today?"
"Well, Gerrit is off with my parents and Lisa's someplace not to be found. We had a soccer game this afternoon. We won. It was a beautiful day and thought I'd drop by to see you."
"Well that's nice, you can watch me frost this cake. Do you want something to drink?"
"No, well maybe some water, but no wine." Paul reached for a glass and filled his glass from the faucet. "What kind of cake is that?"
"It's a black forest cake, and I'm just about finished."
Paul silently watched as Robert carefully mixed the ingredients for the icing. Finally, he was finished but the mixer had to finish its work.
With out so much of a warming, Robert put his hands around Paul's ample body and gave him a hug. Paul returned the gesture. Paul couldn't deny it felt good. Robert didn't break the hug but instead started to kiss on Paul's neck. Paul stiffened up and tried breaking away but Robert's squeeze remained firm.
Paul felt the brush of Robert's beard and his soft lips as the kissed his ears. Paul knew this feeling but it had been awhile. He couldn't figure out why he was having difficulty with it. Eventually, Robert came around to Paul's lips. Slowly, Robert kissed Paul's lips, slowly prying open Paul's mouth with his tongue. Paul relented. He wanted this kiss. Their tongues danced around in a dance. Paul could taste the wine on Robert's breath but didn't mind. He was intoxicated by this show of passion. Slowly Robert broke his squeeze and moved away from Paul.
Paul was standing dazed. His sensory nerves on overload. He didn't know what to think or say, or...
"Why the fuck did you do that," Paul blurted out. It wasn't that he was angry, but surprised.
"Because I thought you needed it. Whether you want to admit it or not, you are a great kisser. I can imagine what you're like in bed. In my experience if a guy is good at kissing, he's great in bed." Robert moved away back to the mixer.
Paul still was at a loss for words. He liked what just happened, but he didn't understand his feelings. He was numb for a minute.
Again, Paul leaned against the sink and watched as Robert reached for a knife to apply the frosting. Robert dipped his finger in the frosting for a taste. He then took another finger and dipped it again and offered it to Paul. Paul wasn't going to waste this opportunity.
As Robert's finger entered Paul's mouth, Paul swirled his tongue around the digit and began sucking firmly so as to give Robert an oral sensation that would make him wonder what Paul really was like in bed. Paul reached over, as he continued to suck on the finger, and grabbed Robert's crotch. Paul was pretty sure if he continued, he would have done Robert right there in the kitchen, but it didn't go that far. He released both the finger and Robert's crotch.
Now it was Robert who stood dazed. A slow, evil, yet horny grin grew across Robert's face. I got him, Paul thought to himself.
Paul backed up and to let Robert finish his job. Robert reached for a frosting knife and began to frost the cake. Slowly turning and applying the frosting, the brown cake became a creamy site that was checked over by both Paul and Robert for any bald spots.
Robert put the bowl in the sink and ran some water in it. When he was finished, he reached over and squeezed one of Paul's tits. He began lifting the tucked shirt out of Paul's pants and started rubbing his hands over the tummy and chest covered with light brown hair.
Paul couldn't take this anymore and finally asked Robert to stop.
"Why?" as Robert continued to play with Paul's tits.
"Because, one of your roommates might be home soon, and besides, this is wrong. You're getting me frustrated and no way to find release."
"Well the roommates won't care and as for you, that's my point exactly."
Paul and Robert continued kissing and playing with each other's chests until Antoine was spotted coming up the back path.
"Well, I should be going," Paul straightened up as Antoine walked in through the back porch.
"Are you sure, there's plenty here for you?" Robert said with a smirk.
"No I should go."
Paul gave Robert a quick hug and once again wished Antoine a happy birthday and left the house.
As he made his way down the front steps of the house back into the warm fall sun, Paul felt a familiar wetness in his crotch.
"Damn, what am I supposed to do about that?"