Pouts

Well, chapter 5! I'm loving writing this story... I especially love Nate, he has a lot of me, not all but a lot. This chapter is like the start of the darker change to Nate... you'll understand if you read... I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I want to thank all of those that sent me an email, I love getting them, and it keeps the motivation high... keep on sending them to pookie_story@hotmail.com... Thanks also to Jack, my editor for putting up with me and for making time in his busy schedule for editing, you're a great guy!

Note-? Where are the emails? I need to know that you're reading, I need support =P... really, just a small note will do...

Well, now for the interesting part:

Pouts 5

I was sitting on Adam's bed, watching him as he talked on the phone. We had been rudely interrupted by that damn phone. I must've been grinning, because when Adam looked my way he grinned back...from the half of the conversation that I could hear, I gathered that it was probably with Jess.

"Yes... I am very busy at the moment... I don't know about tomorrow...I have to check with my mom..."

He walked back and forth while talking on the phone. I found that amusing, and smiled wider. I stretched out on the bed, my eyes following him as he paced. He wrote something on a piece of paper and tossed it at me. I grabbed and read: "Take a picture...it will last longer!" I laughed.

"That's Nate he's helping me with my homework... !"

He looked at me and smiled. I was loving this and couldn't pass up the chance. I got out of the bed and walked towards him.

"Yeah... the movie was boring... "

I put my arms around his waist from behind him. He gave a little jump. I closed my embrace and rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Yeah I miss you too!"

I rolled my eyes and licked his neck. He gave a little sigh.

"Its nothing...I'm a little tired!"

My hand got lower and rested on his stomach.

"No, I'm not tired of talking to you!"

I grinned and slipped my hand underneath his shirt, feeling his skin. He was starting to breath hard. My hand was inches from his boxers.

"Jess, honey...I really have to go...I'll see you Monday...yeah...me too!"

He hung up and turned to me "You are the biggest tease I've ever met!"

I grinned. "Is that a compliment?"

"Well... playing hard to get...kind of sexy!"

I rolled my eyes. "Just because I'm not like Jess..."

"Lets not go there... "

I smiled. "Ok, ok... but you do know that..."

He interrupted me. "Shut up and kiss me!"

I was more then happy to obey. His phone dropped to the floor and his hands came around my waist. I was starting to feel very aroused and something that was poking my leg told me that Adam was also.

I pushed him away. "Whoa... slow down..."

He grinned and stepped closer. "What? You can't handle what you started?"

I was a little scared. I wasn't ready to take this next step yet. I backed away and shook my head. "Adam...I'm not ready... I'm sorry!"

He hugged me. "No problem...Hey...you hungry?"

He dragged me to the kitchen and we threw together something to eat. During our snack, the front door opened and laugher filled the hall. We looked at each other and Adam rolled his eyes.

"Hey, the boys!"

I looked up and saw Mrs. Anderson smiling, and Mike with his arm around Brad's waist. They had happy smiles on their faces.

"So, was the movie any good?"

I looked at Brad. He was a little shorter than Mike, but while Mike had the typical jock attractiveness, Brad had this aura about him... something hard to describe, he had brown hair and hazel eyes, and something in his face made you look twice; for a good reason of course.

He walked towards me and smiled. "I believe we weren't introduced properly, I'm Brad, you must be Nate, right?"

I nodded. "Nice to meet you!"

Mrs. Anderson kissed Adam's temple. "The boys are turning in; and I think I'll have an early night too; you be good and I'll see you in the morning..."

We both said goodnight and they walked off. I looked at them and for a split second I pictured me with Adam in forty years; I smiled at the image...

Adam decided to break the silence "I wish I had something like that when I get to that age..."

I looked at Adam confused. "Something like what?"

"That kind of love you know? They have been together for at least eighteen years, that's a lot of time... "

I just nodded. There was nothing to say to that. I looked at the kitchen clock and noticed the time. "I'd better go home... "

He stood up and walked me to the front door. I opened it and turned to him. "Wanna go somewhere tomorrow?"

He embraced me. "Sure, whatever you want...I don't mind what..:"

I kissed his shoulder. "Ok, we'll see tomorrow... night!"

He didn't let go of me. He was resting his head on my shoulder. "Nate?"

"Huh?"

"You're my best friend and lover, you know that I like you a lot..:"

I sighed. "Yeah, Adam, me too!"

I could see passed Adam to the bottom of the stairs and spotted Brad there, smiling. He winked at me and walked into his room. "I'll see you tomorrow, Adam!"

Another peaceful night, I had slept well; and I was starting to enjoy these peaceful sleeps. I woke up feeling someone hugging me from behind. I turned and found Adam grinning at me.

"Good morning!"

I whispered back. "Good morning, decided to get me moving?"

He kept the soft tone. "Yeah, I was going to jump on you, but I just didn't have the heart to do that..."

"Why are we whispering?"

"It's sexier..."

"Oh... "

My hand found my watch on my bedside table; I looked up to see that it was eight in the morning. "You wake up very early for a Sunday morning!"

"Well, lets just say that I didn't sleep that much..."

I grinned and sat upright on the bed. I stretched my stiff muscles and yawned. "So what do you want to do today?"

He continued lying on the bed with his arms behind his head. "I don't mind... "

I lay my head on his stomach. "We could play some ball..."

He sighed. "Nate?"

"Huh?"

"I have to meet Jess today... she called and I just have to... "

"Oh..."

"But we can spend the whole morning together!"

I got up from the bed. "That's OK...!"

I walked to the bathroom a little faster than usual; what was wrong with me? I knew that Adam and Jess would have to continue... why was I feeling angry? Why did I want to kill Jess? ... This jealousy.

"Nate... you know that I can't just dump Jess..."

I looked up in the mirror and saw Adam leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed on his chest.

"I know..:"

"You're not jealous are you?"

I didn't answer; instead I splashed some water on my face.

"Nate...you promised..."

I looked straight at him. "I know that you have to be with Jess, I can't help being a little jealous...it's just the way I am... I can't help it... I just can't stand the thought of her paws on you..."

He smiled and walked towards me. He put his hands on my shoulders. "Nate.. I told you: my heart and soul are with you, she only gets the body!"

I nodded not taking my eyes off the floor. "So, we're gonna play ball today or not?"

He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. "Sure... You meet me at my house... we can play there!"

He kissed my temple and walked away. I grabbed the toothpaste and stared at the mirror. Why did she have to exist? Why couldn't I just control this? Why did I have all this anger inside me?

I threw the paste to the other end of the bathroom. I had to hold on, maybe she would move away from town, far away from here...

I finished my morning routines. My parents were at the church. Thankfully they didn't ask me to go... I wouldn't go even if they tried to force me. I just didn't believe in all the rituals and stuff, I believed in God and his principles, I just didn't understand why we had to go to church to talk to him, or why we had to pray to him as if he was some sort of punisher when in fact he was our best friend...

I shrugged those thoughts from my mind, grabbed an apple and walked to Adam's house. When I got there, I was in time to see Mrs Anderson, Mike and Brad getting into Mrs. Anderson's car.

"Good morning, Natie!"

I smiled. "Hi, Mrs. Anderson, where are you going this early?"

She started the car. "The boys and I are going see some old friends... you here see Adam?"

Stupid question. "Yeah... you have fun!"

They said goodbye and she drove off. I smiled at the thought of friendship that united them. I wished that when I was their age that I would have friends like that.

I walked into the backyard and saw Adam sitting on the grass with the ball next to him. I sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry for overreacting!"

"That's OK... I understand... I mean, if I knew you were with another person I would go crazy..."

I smiled at that and grabbed him by his hand. "Lets go, I wanna beat your sorry ass!"

He grinned. Of course I was going to be beaten. I was used to it. But I won a lot of opportunities to feel and grab Adam. He noticed it too, and made sure that I got handled more than necessary.

As usual after a while I sat on the grass and he continued to play alone. I was into my own little world when I heard a voice that made me want to throw up.

"Adam!"

We both looked up to see Jess walking towards us. She was dressed to kill. Short skirt. Short top. I noticed Mr Grayman, Adam's neighbour, was watering his plants, and staring at her, almost drooling.

"Oh, hi Jess!"

She walked to him, hugged him and planted one too damned long kiss on him. I got up and started walking away.

"Where are you going Nate?"

I put the smile on and turned to them. "You guys need some time alone... and I don't want to be in the way... I'll see you tomorrow Adam... Oh, and good morning to you Jess!"

She rolled her eyes and hugged Adam even more. I walked away. I wanted to just kill something... I saw my parents' car in the driveway. I mentally groaned, I didn't want to face them right now...

I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom sitting there drinking her usual coffee.

"Good morning Nate!"

"Morning, Mom!"

"Sleep well?"

I grabbed a cup, "Yeah.. you?"

"Pretty good!"

I sat next to her and grabbed a slice of bread and the butter.

"Son... I wanted to talk to you about something!"

I didn't take my eyes from the bread. "Sure, what?"

"Have you decided what med school you're gonna choose?"

I rolled my eyes. "No Mom..."

"You should...there isn't much time..."

I gulped and grabbed every bit of courage that I had. "I don't know if I want to go to med school..."

It came out almost as a whisper. My mom put her cup down and looked straight at me. "What did you say?"

"I don't know if I want to go to med school..."

"Of course you do..."

"I'm thinking of taking a degree in biology or something..."

"That's ridiculous! You are going to be a doctor, every one expects you to be one!"

I was holding back, first on this whole Jess business; and now there was this with my mom. I kept my voice calm. "But I think that I would like biology more... I don't think that I would be a very good doctor..."

She took a deep breath. "Nathaniel, you are going to med school, it is decided, I'm your mother, I know what's best for you!"

I didn't want to hear this. "Look Mom, we'll talk about this later..."

I started walking away. "Where are you going?"

"For a walk... I don't know when I'll be back!"

She yelled, but I didn't care. I walked away and with nowhere to go. I just needed to clear my head and be alone for a while. I found myself in the park. This time I wandered over to the lake and sat down, hugging my knees.

I didn't know what to think of Adam and me. I liked him, but was it worth risking our friendship? Why did he have to keep on dating Jess? Why couldn't he just dump her? And my mom, why did she want to control me so badly? Why did she want me to be a doctor that much?"

I felt someone sitting next to me. I looked up and saw Kurt smiling. He was sweating and was breathing heavily. "Good morning, didn't expect to see you here!"

"Yeah.. I wanted to be alone for a while, you been running?"

He nodded. " Have to... to keep the body like this!"

I smiled at that. "Sorry for not saying anything about the other day... and for making you leave like that..."

"Don't sweat over it... I just hope that we can continue it later..."

"Huh, Kurt...I'm in a relationship now..."

He grinned. "I knew you were too good to be single for that long...but don't worry... I don't want a serious relationship or anything like that!"

"Why? You don't want someone to love?"

His smile fell a little; he looked into the lake and sighed. "You know... I used to be like you... I wanted to find a cool guy and share my life with him... "

"What happened?"

He laughed. "Well... I found a guy... he was older...but cool... he seemed to be perfect... at first he didn't even push me to have sex... he said he could wait... I was so happy... but then I decided to take the next step...you know.. the sex..."

"Oh..."

"Well, after that we were like bunnies...but then I found out that there were a lot of other bunnies... and when I confronted him with it, he said that it was a normal thing to do, that every gay guy was like that!"

"That must've been hard!"

"Yeah... and you know what? He was right... most gay guys only want sex and lots of it... I just don't believe that there is such thing as a gay serious relationship..."

"Well... I believe that there is... and I even have proof of it!"

He looked surprised. "Well, you have to show me someday!"

His watch beeped. "Well, I have to go...I'll see you tomorrow at school!"

He ran off, leaving me with my thoughts. I dropped my chin onto my knees and stared at the lake again. Did Adam think like that too? Did he believe that you could have two partners at the same time? Of course not! I had known him since forever! He wasn't like that! Was he?

I decided to call Cathy and see if she wanted to do anything

"Hey there!"

"Nate? How are you? Sleep well?"

"Yeah... look...where are you?"

She laughed. "Home...why?"

"Can you come over to the park? I'm near the lake!"

I could feel the concern on her voice. "Nate? Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, just come quickly, OK?"

"Ok, give me ten!"

I hung up and waited. I was watching a group of kids; they couldn't be more than ten years old, playing tag. I smiled at the memories. At that age everything was so simple, life was basically play and sleep. My mom didn't annoy me with college, Adam and I didn't care about sex or anything like it, and Jess didn't even exist... Yeah...life was good.

"Hey!"

I looked up and saw Cathy wearing some old jeans and top. Her hair was in a ponytail, and I couldn't see any makeup.

"Thanks for coming!"

She sat next to me and put her arm through mine. "So, care to tell me what made me come out of the house without even time to put on some eyeliner?"

"You know you're gorgeous without any of those things...!"

She laughed. "Don't try to change the subject..."

I sighed. "My mom is getting worse..."

"How so?"

"She wants me to go to med school, even after me telling her that I didn't want it..."

"What does your father say?"

"He doesn't care... he only wants to make my mom happy so that she doesn't bother him!"

"Seem like you have quite a family..."

I let my head fall to her shoulder. "You got that right..."

She put her arm around my neck. "What does Adam say?"

"He's too busy with Jess to care..."

"What do you mean?"

"She showed up at his house this morning...they're together now... I just can't hold in the jealousy!"

"That's understandable! No one should be in a relationship like that!"

I sighed. "You tell me about it! I just don't understand why he can't leave that bitch..."

She kissed my cheek. "Look, you need to cheer up and take a bath... !"

"I don't want to go home...not yet, and Adam's too busy to let me use his house..."

"Well, then you can use my shower... you just have to find some new clothes!"

"I just have these..."

She looked at me and smiled. "You can use some of my dad's old clothes... he won't mind, besides my parents went to visit my grandparents... I have the house to myself."

"You sure there won't be a problem?"

"Sure...as long as you don't mind putting up with Amanda..."

"Of course not"

She smiled and stood up. "Great, I told her to meet us here, she should be here any minute!"

I got up and looked around. I spotted Amanda walking towards us smiling like a fool. "What's up with the smile?"

Cathy looked at me. "Beats me... she told me she had a cool thing to tell us!"

Amanda approached and said. "You guys won't believe this!"

We looked at her waiting for the big news.

"MY BOSS LOANED ME A CAR!"

Cathy screamed. "WHAT?"

"He says that I'm a good worker and that he would take from my paycheck gradually to pay for it!"

Cathy hugged her. "I'm so happy for you!"

Amanda winked at me and I smiled back. "Congrats Amanda!"

"Thanks, Nate, and to celebrate I'm taking you guys out to lunch!"

Cathy smiled. "Sure, but Nate has to take a shower first, he stinks!"

"Well, you love me anyway!"

They laughed and we walked towards the car. I was about to grab my wallet to buy some popcorn when I noticed it was missing.

"Shit! I left my wallet at Adam's!"

Amanda shrugged. "I can drive us by and you can get it!"

"You sure its OK?"

"Nate, you're almost Cathy's brother, I have to care for my brother in law!"

I blushed at the compliment and Cathy hugged me, whispering. "Its true!"

I hugged her back. "Well, you're almost my brat sister!"

She laughed and we walked towards the car. Amanda drove us to Adam's house. Cathy and I got out of the car and I spotted Adam's car in the driveway.

"Guess he's still home..."

Cathy nodded "How are you gonna do this without seeing them?"

I sighed. "I don't know... the wallet is probably in the backyard..."

We walked into the backyard. We looked around and found nothing. Suddenly I remembered.

"I must've left it in his bedroom..."

Cathy sighed. "You want to go and get it?"

I hesitated. I was afraid of what I would see, but I needed my wallet. "Let's go and get this over with..."

She nodded and grabbed my hand. I opened the kitchen door and the silence greeted us. Not one noise. Walking in, I could hear a faint noise. ..like a whimper. I looked at Cathy who shrugged, we walked towards the stairs and the whimpering sound continued. I was starting to feel my stomach tensing and churning. I squeezed Cathy's hand; she squeezed back. We climbed up the stairs and I noticed that Adam's bedroom door was ajar. I heard some muffled groans and a low thump.

I was starting to get really apprehensive and wanted to run. Suddenly I heard Jess's voice.

"Now, aren't you happy that I came?"

I heard a mumbled yes. Cathy tried to pull me downstairs, but now that I was there I was going hear it all.

"You have to spend more time with me, Honey... you could have gone to the movies yesterday... but you chose your little doggie..."

Cathy squeezed my hand.

Adam decided to speak. "He's not my dog, he's my best friend, and I said I was sorry... he's my best friend..."

"You know that I have heard that he's a queer, right?"

"Yeah, you told me that a thousand times..."

"I just don't like to see him with you... I can see it in his eyes...he wants you..."

I heard the sound of feet hitting the ground. "Don't say stupid things! And you know that I only have feelings for you, ...I love you!"

"I love you too, Adam!"

"I'm going to grab something to eat, you want something?"

"No, I'm okay, I'm gonna stay here resting, getting ready for the second round!"

I heard Adam walking towards us. Cathy wanted to run, but I stayed put, rigid. He loved her, huh? All of that "heart and soul" bit was pure crap... he only wanted to use me... well... He chose a bad day for it, I had a lot of pressure building in me and he was going to be the one who would soon be suffering with it.

He walked into the hallway and spotted us. His mouth almost fell from his face. I pointed downstairs, and Cathy and I climbed back down quietly.

Cathy turned to me and whispered. "I'll be waiting for you on the car...you be strong!"

I nodded. I waited in the kitchen and Cathy walked outside. Adam appeared wearing only his boxers.

"Nate..I..."

I stopped him. "No, Adam, it's my turn to talk...I've been having one shitty day and this was the last straw! I don't care that you fuck her, I really don't, as long as you aren't attached to someone else, particularly ME! Only the body is hers, but the heart and soul is yours is crap, .. that's right?"

"Nate calm down... and lower please, she's upstairs!"

I took a deep breath. "Look, you can do whatever you want with her... we were only together three days, and you do this! Well, congratulations... we're officially over, probably your shortest relationship, right? I hope you're proud of yourself!"

"Nate, please you don't understand..."

I felt the tears flowing. "I don't have to understand, the only thing that I know is that I lost my boyfriend and my best friend! I hope you're happy with that!"

"Who's happy?"

I looked around at the kitchen door and saw Jess standing there with a sheet covering her. "What are you doing here?"

I looked at her and wiped my tears away. "I came to get something, but I guess I chose a bad time... "

She looked me up and down. "Yeah, I guess you did... why don't you come back some other time?"

I took a deep breath. "I'll see you Monday at school!"

I walked out of the kitchen without another word. I got into Amanda's car and the tears started falling; but I wasn't sobbing; I wasn't going to let myself sob for him. Cathy turned to me.

"I don't know what to say, Nate..."

I turned to her. "What is there to say?"

The drive to Cathy's home was in silence. She showed me the bathroom and I started the shower; I was feeling the hot water splashing on my skin when the tears started falling again, only this time I couldn't control it and I just cried my heart out. I slipped down the shower wall to the floor and put my arms around my knees. After a while Cathy opened the shower door and found me. "NATE?"

I looked up at her. "Sorry... I..."

She turned off the water, came down and hugged me. "You poor thing... don't worry let it all out... don't hold it back, ...I'm here!"

I grabbed her hands and everything just came out. My anger and sadness towards Adam, my frustration with my mom, my frustration with myself and my frustration with life. It was like a limit had been reached; like the dam had reached its limit, been breached and the water burst out.

After crying my heart out, Cathy let go of her hug around me and made me stand up. She handed me a towel and I started to dry myself. Only then with a rush of embarrassment coming over me, I blushed with realization. She laughed. "Don't worry, I'm not going to take advantage of you!"

I gave her a little smile.

Her face took a serious look. "I really don't know what to say, Nate... I mean...what happened is not an acceptable thing... no one should do that...not even the lowest scum on earth... I misjudged Adam... I want to kill him right now... !"

I looked at the floor and put my head in my hands. "I just wish that nothing had happened between us... if we didn't go there, we could still be friends...I'm such an idiot... I shouldn't have loved him... I should have just stuck to the plan..."

"What plan?"

"Hold on... wait until college to try the gay world... hide myself..."

"And be miserable in the meantime... please... Adam's the asshole, not you... don't you dare blame yourself... "

I sighed. "I just want to go home and crawl into my bed... I just can't stand thinking about him, I don't know if I can ever see him now..."

Cathy squeezed my shoulder. "Amanda is making lunch, she's a great cook... lets go, you need to put something in your stomach!"

I sighed and walked into the bedroom. Cathy gave me some old clothes and I dressed myself. Going into the kitchen, I noticed Amanda busy with some sort of salad.

" Look, I'm sorry, I'm spoiling your lunch plans..:"

Amanda looked at me and smiled. "You didn't... we just changed plans... we can still celebrate here!"

I sighed. "Still... it won't be the same as at a restaurant..." She walked towards me and squeezed my shoulder. "When I celebrate, it's more important the people that I am with, than the place... I'm surrounded by good people now... can't think of a better way to celebrate!"

I hugged her. "Thanks..."

"Don't worry... everything will be OK..."

I looked at Cathy and she was smiling at us. Amanda released me and walked to the dining table. "Now...let's eat, I'm starving!"

Lunch went very well. I managed to forget for a while all the things that had happened to me and enjoy myself. When we were in the middle of an interesting conversation about hearing parents having sex, someone knocked on the front door.

Cathy stood up. "I'll get it..."

As she walked out of the kitchen, Amanda turned to me and continued. " ..as I was saying, my parents were like bunnies at that time... I heard them every night... it was so wrong, I tried to listen to some music... and..."

We heard Cathy's angry, loud voice. We almost ran to the front door to find Cathy fuming at Adam. I looked at him and my heart almost stopped.

"What are you doing here?"

He looked up at me and opened his mouth, but Cathy spoke first. "He says he needs to speak to you... I was trying to send him away..."

I looked at Cathy. "Thanks, I think I can handle this..."

She looked at me. "You sure?"

I nodded. She glared one last time at Adam and walked away with Amanda.

"Adam, there is nothing to talk about... I was stupid to believe that I could handle you having a girlfriend... I am sorry for that, now you go and fuck her brains out.."

That came out with a little more anger than I had intended. He seemed a little hurt but quickly recovered. "Nate... I... it's really hard to explain... please... "

I sighed. "Adam... I'm not trying to be a victim, but could you please just go away... I am sorry for breaking into your house like that, but I forgot my wallet and then that happened... I loved the moments we had, but it was all an illusion... gay guys don't have serious relationships... its impossible, ..even more with bisexual guys like you... "

He seemed surprised. "Nate? What the fuck are you talking about?"

I took a deep breath. "I was a fool to believe that I could have a serious relationship with a guy... imagine that I even pictured us together in forty years from now... pathetic huh? You're better with Jess... I guess I should have seen that one coming.. but I was stupid as always..."

"You're not stupid Nate.. and this is not you!"

I was starting to get angry. "Oh no? I guess the real me is the one that gives his heart to a guy and happy that a minute later, that he goes and fucks the first girl that he can! Well that Nate is dead from now on... from this moment on, I give up on you, on guys, no love... I'm tired of suffering because of that...!"

He seemed stunned.

"And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch to finish, thanks for the visit!"

I slammed the door and walked into the kitchen. Cathy and Amanda stopped talking when they saw me.

"You OK?" asked Cathy.

"Couldn't be better..."

TBC

Well, I hope you liked it... sorry for taking so long... keep on sending those emails to pookie_story@hotmail.com... Thanks for reading