This story is purely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to person's living or dead, or to events that may have occurred, is purely coincidental.
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Mark Stevens
CHAPTER 23
"Hello, Mother," Devon greeted.
"Where are you, Devon?" she asked.
"I had a late meeting," he said through tight lips.
"We need to have a meeting ourselves. I want you to come to the house this evening. We can talk over dinner," she told him.
"I'm afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow," Devon answered. "I have another meeting this evening. How about tomorrow sometime?" he asked.
"It needs to be tonight," she decided.
"Sorry, Mother, but I just can't make it."
"I know about your business at the bank today," she said pushing his words to the side.
"That doesn't surprise me one bit," he said. "In fact I've been expecting a call from you,"
he added.
"What do you have up your sleeve, Devon McKenzie? Why in the world would you suddenly decide to change your accounts?"
"Forgive me, Mother, but I don't think I'm the one with `something up my sleeve'. Your choice of words," he reminded.
"Devon, what is happening to you? You are not acting like my son."
Devon allowed a harsh laugh to escape him and he said, "Again, Mother, your words. Not mine."
"Devon, please be here by eight o'clock. We have much to discuss."
Devon could hear the uncertainty in her voice, and for some reason he took great pleasure in knowing that. He told her he would see her first thing in the morning in his office.
"Just remember I put you in that office, and I can certainly take it away from you."
"You know, Mother, I would expect nothing less from you. Be in my office at nine o'clock sharp. I'll be waiting for you."
"So tell me about this so called meeting you have this evening?" Britt asked as Devon ended his telephone conversation with his mother.
Devon gave him a smile and said, "I think you know damned well there is no meeting this evening. I'm just getting in practice of standing up to my mother."
"Something tells me this is not going to end well at all," Britt said. He felt a shiver run down his body.
Inside his car, Britt asked, "So what do we do for dinner? I'm sure Mom has already eaten."
Devon looked at his watch and said, "Would you mind giving Alice a call? I'd really like to drop by and check on her. We could take her out for dinner if she hasn't already eaten."
"Is that what you want to do?"
Devon nodded, and Britt reached for his cell. He punched a number in and waited for Alice to answer.
"Hey, Alice," he greeted. "Have you had dinner?"
She hadn't, and he invited her to have dinner with the two of them.
Alice said, "Britt, I've discovered something that's puzzling me. Would you mind coming back after we eat so I can show it to you?"
He asked what her discovery had been.
"I'm not certain. I'll bring it along and show you."
Britt told her they were on the way. "See you in a few moments," he said ending his call.
"What was that all about?" Devon asked. "What has Alice discovered?"
Britt shook his head. "I'm not certain," he said. "She has something she wants us to see."
Britt drove the short distance to Alice Cooper's home. When he pulled into her drive, she hurried down the steps and ran to meet him.
"Hello, Alice," Devon greeted. He jumped from the car and crawled into the back seat, making room for her beside Britt.
Britt gave her a smile. "We're glad you could join us, Alice," he said.
He saw that she was holding a notebook of some kind. He couldn't tell much about it, other than the fact it looked old, its cover faded and worn.
"Is that your discovery?" he asked eyeing the book on her lap.
She nodded. "I found this at the back of Mother's closet. I've been putting off going through her things because I thought I couldn't do it. Today when I got home from work, something just hit me, and I was convinced I could do what I had to do."
"What is it?" Devon asked from the back of the car.
Alice turned enough in her seat to allow her to see both men. "It's something like a journal that my mother kept. It's not a diary; more like a record of her inner thoughts. I want the two of you to read it. That is, if you have no other plans for this evening," she added.
"The evening belongs to you," Britt assured her. He looked in his rear view mirror and gave Devon a grin. "So you were telling the truth," he said. "About your meeting, I mean," he added.
"You have a meeting?" Alice asked. "Please don't let me interfere. I can show you this another time."
Without thinking, Devon placed a hand on Alice's shoulder. "Trust me Alice, Britt and I want to be here. There is no meeting; just an excuse I gave my mother. She wanted to have a meeting with me over dinner and I told her I was busy."
Alice eyed the hand on her shoulder, and Devon quickly pulled away from her. "Sorry," he said.
"Have you come across anything new?" Alice directed her question at Britt.
"It's possible that I might know something by tomorrow, but for now, I'd rather not say." Britt glanced down at the notebook she was holding. "Does your mother have anything interesting to say?"
"As I said, it appears Mother kept a journal of her thoughts throughout her life time. I've read some of her entries, and I've been amazed by them. One in particular," she added. "It concerns my brother."
Britt looked in his rear view mirror and his eyes locked with Devon's. Neither one spoke. There didn't seem to be anything for them to say.
"I don't remember him at all," Alice said. "It's odd, I realize that, but it's the truth."
"You were just a baby yourself," Britt reminded her.
"I know. I just never realized how hard it was on my mother losing him until I read what she had to say in her journal."
"Perhaps we shouldn't read it," Devon spoke up. "After all, it's a very private thing."
"It is private, but I want the two of you to read it," Alice replied.
"Then after our meal, we'll go home with you and see what your mother has to say," Britt assured her.
Devon chose the restaurant, and Britt pulled into the parking lot. The three of them walked inside and were shown to a table. As they waited for their food, Britt tried to keep the conversation rolling, but somehow none of them seemed interested in the small talk he tossed around.
Finally he couldn't confine his curiosity any longer. Britt asked to see her mother's journal. As Alice slid it across the table, he asked, "Are you okay with this? I don't want you doing anything that makes you uncomfortable."
"No, I think it's something you need to know," she assured him. "See the marker sticking out from the book? Read that page first."
Britt picked up the notebook and opened to the marked page. Alice had highlighted a section in yellow.
"Read it out loud," she told him.
Britt read:
June 8th, 1973 I came home from the hospital.
My life is over and my heart is broken. Everything has left me feeling hurt and confused. I have been told my family and I were involved in an automobile accident and that my beautiful son Tommy has left me for his home in heaven. Tom and the doctor explained that our son had lost his life at the scene of the accident. As they talked to me, their voices became so soft I could no longer hear what they were saying. I refused to listen to the two of them telling me my sweet boy was gone. I closed my eyes and fell into darkness. When I woke up I discovered Tommy in my arms. My precious boy was alive! I realized it had only been a terrible dream that I had. Tommy was alive and smiling at me. The sparkle in his eyes assured me that nothing at all was wrong with him. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head gently. His smile turned into a wide grin, and I saw he had a new tooth.
I didn't feel well, and for some reason I couldn't seem to keep my eyes open. It became a struggle, and a nurse reached for him. She told me I needed my rest, and she assured me that Tommy did as well. I tried to hang onto my son, but the nurse was stronger, and she pulled him from my arms. Darkness settled over me, and I became lost in its heavy coat. I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up, I asked to see my son. Tom had gone, and I was alone in my hospital room. The nurse called the doctor and he came to my room. In a soft voice, he told me that my son had died in the same accident that had put me in the hospital. When I tried to tell him that Tommy was alive, and that I had held him after the accident, he assured me that I must have been dreaming. His words upset me so much that he had the nurse give me a shot. He told me it would help me to relax.
I have been told that the accident that took my son's life happened June 5th. I feel sure that I had been in the hospital at least a day before I held Tommy. At least it felt like I had. They keep telling me that for the first full day I kept drifting in and out. Something just doesn't seem right about all of this. They keep telling me that I never saw Tommy after the accident. I am afraid I am losing my mind.
Britt came to the end of the entry and raised his eyes to face the other two. He allowed his eyes to settle on Alice, and he remained silent.
Alice was the first one to speak. She said, "Over the years I've often wondered about the state of Mother's mental condition. Of course, I was too young to know the kind of person she was before my brother was killed; what she was like; her personality. Still, after I read this, I have to think that perhaps this was the beginning of some sort of breakdown. As I mentioned earlier, I never knew until I read that entry how my mother had been affected. My God, I would have lost my mind, had it been me," she added.
Britt closed Margaret's journal and said, "Alice, I would testify under oath that your mother was just as sane as the three of us; perhaps even more so," he added. "The day of my visit, sure she had gotten a little mixed up, and perhaps that was caused partly by your brother's death years before. Still, the day I visited with her, your mother seemed very clear to me. I do think she wanted to tell me something, but for whatever reason, she felt she was bound to keep silent."
"But for what reason?" Alice asked.
Britt slid the notebook across the table to Alice. "I'm very anxious to read more of this," he said, "but I think we should wait until we have more privacy."
He smiled at Devon. "You're awfully quiet. Something have you bogged down?"
"Just digesting everything you've read," the man answered.
Britt reached across and placed his hand on Devon's. "It's going to be okay, Babe," he said.
Alice looked at them both and remained silent.
A sense of urgency had seemed to overtake them, and once their food arrived, they ate it quickly and left for Alice's home. The short trip was made in silence, each one preoccupied with his thoughts.
Britt pulled into the Cooper drive and shut the car engine off. His eyes settled on Alice, and he asked, "Are you certain you want to share your mother's thoughts, Alice?"
Alice sat quietly in the car seat, not giving him an answer at first. Then taking a deep breath, she said, "I have mixed feelings about digging into Mother's life, but I feel I deserve to know what really happened to her and Daddy, and this is the only way to find out. As for sharing the information with the two of you, well, I think I'm afraid to face it alone."
The two men followed Alice inside her home. She invited them to take a seat on the sofa and handed Britt her mother's journal. She told him to start reading.
Britt took a seat on the couch and took a deep breath. "Okay, here goes."
He had left a marker on the page he had read earlier, and now he opened the book to the page.
"It looks like your mother didn't write anything new for a few days." He read:
June 12th, 1973
It's been almost a week since I lost Tommy. I feel like I'm living in a vacuum. I can't think clearly. I know Sarah and Mary Nell mean well, but I do wish they would just leave. I am thankful they both insisted on having a grave side service for Tommy. Tom refused to discuss it, and I can't imagine why. His attitude has hurt me so much. He told my sisters they should leave matters alone. He said there could be no open casket, so he felt there was no need for a service of any kind. I just don't understand his thinking. Thanks to Sarah and Mary Nell, there's a small grave in our back yard. Tommy's grave. I just don't understand why Tom feels the way he does.
June 15th, 1973
Tom announced today he was quitting his job. For the first time he admitted how hard it had been on him, knowing he was the one responsible for Tommy's death. I asked him how we were going to survive if he quit his job. He told me he had an insurance policy that would take care of us. He assured me he would draw the same amount for the rest of his life and that it would pay him the same each month that he had earned from working. If something should happen to him first, then Alice and I would draw double the amount for the rest of my life. As if any amount of money could ever make up for losing my precious boy.
Britt looked up from the book he was holding and saw tears flowing down Alice's cheeks. He felt himself tear up, and he hastily gave both eyes a swipe. How could he continue reading something this personal? He wondered.
It was Alice herself that made the decision for him. "Please continue," she said quietly. "I want to hear what she had to say, and I'm not sure I could do it myself."
Britt gave a nod and looked back down at the page before him.
July 1st, 1973
Tom told me today that we received the first check from the insurance company. He seemed relieved, yet at the same time, angry when he saw it had been deposited in the bank. I asked him if we could have a small marker placed on Tommy's grave. He has agreed to do it.
Tom has been so secretive about this insurance policy that's going to pay us for the rest of our lives. He says he is being truthful with me, but everything about it seems wrong. I asked him about it again today, and he became so upset. He really frightened me, and I told him I would never mention it again.
July 6th, 1973
Tom told me this morning that the insurance money we got for the car was in, and he wanted to go pick a new one out. I could care less about a new car, and I told him to go without me. He lost his temper and demanded I go. Tommy's death has brought about a drastic change in him. I will go with him to pick a car out.
July 10th, 1973
We've had the new car four days, and Tom told me this morning it was time for me to learn to drive it. Since we brought it home, he has tried several times to get me behind the wheel, and I've refused. Now he says I WILL learn to drive it. So I have made up my mind that I will do as he asks. If only it would make him happy, but I know it won't. Tom is so full of bitterness since Tommy left. We both have changed so much, Our world can never be the same again.
July 11th, 1973
This morning I am more confused than ever. Yesterday when Tom was so determined I drive the new car, I suddenly had an idea. I let him show me the basics of the new machine, and then I told him I wanted to take a drive by myself. Tom was surprised, but he seemed relieved I wanted to do something on my own.
I drove around the neighborhood with Tom by my side until he felt sure I could handle the vehicle. I dropped him off at home and told him I was going for a short drive, and I would return before lunch time. I had decided if Tom couldn't or wasn't giving me any answers that I would go to the bank myself. After all, if the money was going to come in through them, I felt sure they would know something about the situation.
When I arrived at the bank, I asked to speak with Garland Mitchell. We have done our business through him for years, and I felt I could trust Garland. I told the man about our situation and asked if he could explain it to me. He left me in his office while he went to search our records. When he came back, he had a look on his face that I couldn't read. He asked me what Tom had told me, and when I explained, he said that I knew as much as he did. When I asked him the name of the insurance company he told me to go home and check with Tom. I left the bank without finding any answers to my questions. When I got home, Tom seemed in a worse mood than ever, and I made up my mind to let things drop. At least for now.
Britt looked up from the journal. He stood to his feet. He told them the next entry was dated March 30th, 1974.
"I think I need a break before continuing on," he said.
Alice offered them something to drink and went to the kitchen, leaving the two alone of them alone in her living room.
Britt gave Devon a smile. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.
Devon gave a short nod and said, "If this continues the way I think it might, I don't see how the hell you're going to keep from telling her everything you suspect."
"You could be right," Britt agreed. "It also could be a very long night for all of us," he added.
Alice returned with a tray of drinks and gave them a smile. "I'm sorry," she said, "but Coca-Cola is the strongest I have to offer."
They each took a glass, and Britt said, "Coke is probably the strongest thing we should drink tonight." He watched as Alice took her seat once more, and his heart went out to her; to both Devon and her.
The three tried to make conversation for a time, but it was no use. The note book with the faded pages kept tapping at their brains, begging to be read. Finally Britt sat his glass on the table beside the couch and picked it up once more. He read:
March 30, 1974
Today is the twin's 3rd birthday. I know it must be wrong of me, but I simply could not stand celebrating Alice's the same day as Tommy's. She's young, and she'll never know I had a party for her the day before her birthday. Perhaps next year I will feel differently about it. Tom thought I was being ridiculous. He thought I was wrong to have her party a day early. It's getting harder and harder to understand my husband.
Britt looked up and let his eyes focus on Alice's face. Although he didn't speak, she realized he was asking her permission to continue on.
"I grew up never having a clue my mother had these kind of feelings," she remarked.
"How could you?" Devon asked. "After all, you were just a child," he reminded.
"She seems so unhappy, and all the time I was growing up I was oblivious to the fact. Oh, I knew she loved Tommy, and I knew she had to miss him, but to me, she never acted anything like the person in this journal."
"Perhaps that's the reason she kept her journal," Britt said. "She could share her feelings with it, good and bad, happy and sad, and not burden anyone with her problems."
"I guess that's the way she was, and I didn't know any different," Alice agreed.
"Sounds like the kind of Mother I wish I had when I was growing up," Devon remarked.
Britt looked from Alice to Devon and remained quiet. His heart went out to them both, yet he didn't have any words to say. They seemed all bottled up inside him. He reached for his drink and quickly took a swallow. His throat had become very dry and the cold liquid felt good as it made its way down him.
He turned a page over and said, "The next entry is June 5th, 1974. Are you ready for this?"
Alice and Devon both told him to read it.
My nightmare has been with me one full year. Today marks the first anniversary. My family and I were changed forever on this date, never to be the same again. It's hard for me to remember the accident. I can remember practically everything that happened at the town picnic, but once we were in the car heading home, everything goes blank for me. The main thing that haunts me about the picnic was I knew Tom had been drinking a lot, and when we left the park I asked if I needed to drive home. He assured me he was alright, and I took him at his word. Tom has always been one to enjoy his drink at town events, and I thought nothing of it. If only I had insisted he let me drive, neither of us would be going through the hell we are now.
There were several more entries, and Britt read each of them, but they told of nothing earth shattering. Mostly, they were about the bitter feelings Margaret Cooper was keeping hidden deep inside herself, telling no one except her beloved journal. The entries were becoming further apart, leaving the impression that Alice's mother was no longer needing to confide as much in her journal. Then:
March 15th, 1978
I am worried about Tom. The occasional drinking he's enjoyed most of our married life has turned into a daily ritual, starting from noon, and sometimes earlier and continuing until he goes to bed. I can't remember even one day in the last two years that Tom has gone without drinking alcohol. It's consuming both of us, and honestly, I don't know how much more I can take. He loves Alice so much, and because of that, leaving him is out of the question.
Alice interrupted Britt's reading, saying, "My God. I can't believe I was so ignorant of what was happening right before my eyes."
"I'm sure your mother did her best to shield you," Britt told her.
"Alice, you have to know how much your mother loved you." Devon spoke the words softly.
Heavy emotion filled the room, and Britt thought it best he return to Margaret's journal. He turned to the next page and began reading.
March 20th, 1978
Tom left the house early this morning. I was surprised, as he rarely goes anywhere before noon. What really surprised me was that I think he was free of drink. I asked him where he was going, and he told me to wait, that he might have a surprise for me. When I questioned him, he just gave me one of his grins; the kind I use to see when we were younger, much happier. His eyes were different as well. There was a sparkle in them like I haven't seen in years.
March 20th, 1978, Evening time
Tom was gone most of the day, and I can't get a word out of him. He won't answer my questions, and he's back to being angry. When I tried to get some answers from him, I became frightened by his tone. He went to bed and left me alone with all of my unanswered questions.
March 22nd, 1978
Tom left the house early this morning like he did a couple of days ago. And like then, he was gone most of the day. When he returned, he headed for the bedroom. I gave him a few moments and then opened the door and entered the room the two of us have shared for so many years. My husband was in bed, covers pulled over his head. It was only five o'clock in the afternoon. I quietly closed the door and left him alone.
March 25th, 1978
Britt read the date, and a brief second later he looked up. "This next part may come as a shock to you both," he said.
He read on:
I am puzzled today by a visitor I had. Tom had been gone most of the day, and was still absent when I had a visitor at the door. I was very surprised to discover Elaine McKenzie on my door step. This woman had never been to my home in all of the years I have known the McKenzie and Porter families.
She tried to act gracious, yet at the same time, I felt she was a bit embarrassed to be knocking on my door. What could I do, but invite the woman inside my home? She asked about me, how I was doing, even inquiring about Alice. I told her that my daughter was happy and about to celebrate her 7th birthday. Then the woman said something I will never forget, nor will I forgive her for. She mentioned Tommy and apologized for not dropping by sooner to offer her condolences. Was the woman serious? My baby's been gone 5 years, and she has the nerve to drop by and offer her sympathy? She has a very cruel nature, and I could easily hate the woman.
Britt paused and gave Devon a quick look. His lover's face had turned white, and he looked as if he might pass out. He scooted across the couch and gave the man a hug.
Devon pulled away and looked across the room at Alice. He wanted to go to her so much, but he didn't know how to go about it. He didn't think she was ready to hear what they might have to tell her, and he was afraid when the time came it would only hurt her that much more. He told Britt to read some more.
Britt read:
The woman told me she knew how I felt, how bad it was to lose a child. Anger came from everywhere in my body, erupting like a poison. I stood to my feet and ordered her to leave my home. As far as I knew, Elaine Porter McKenzie had never lost a child. There was no way in hell she could know what I was feeling. I asked her to leave. The woman walked to the door. Before she left she told me she hoped I knew just how much my husband really loved me. That did it! I ordered the woman from my house and told her I never wanted to see her face again. Tom came home later, and I told him about my visitor. I told him everything she had said to me. As I described her visit I noticed that my husband became very emotional. He did his best to hide it from me, but I knew just the same. He became very quiet afterward, and he soon disappeared into the bedroom. When I checked on him a bit later, he had fallen asleep on the bed. I left him to rest.
March 26th, 1978
When I came into the kitchen this morning to make breakfast, I discovered Tom sitting at the kitchen table. He had already made coffee, and he asked me to join him. I offered to make him breakfast, but he told me to have a seat. He had something to tell me. As I sat beside my husband, I listened to the words he was saying. He told me he had done a terrible deed and begged me to forgive him. I asked him what it was he had done, but he just shook his head. He told me he was going to leave the house, and when he returned, he hoped he had righted the wrong. I asked him if the wrong he was referring to had anything to do with the McKenzie family. He wouldn't give me an answer. He just smiled and told me he loved me.
After he left I became confused. The words Tom said left me puzzled and full of questions. If I don't get some answers soon, I feel I will go mad. One thought keeps tugging at me. Can any of this have anything to do with the accident we were involved in with John and Elaine McKenzie? The accident that took my baby boy's young life?
March 27th, 1978
Tom was in a strange mood when he returned home yesterday. He didn't seem to be angry, but he was very preoccupied with his thoughts. Over the supper table he told me he hadn't worked things out just yet, but that he would in time, and for me to be patient with him.
March 28th, 1978
The day began as usual for us. I was up first and had breakfast ready when Tom joined me in the kitchen. While we were eating the telephone rang. I took the call. It was for Tom. The voice sounded somewhat familiar, but I didn't recognize who it was; just that it was a woman. Tom took the call, and I could tell he was making arrangements to meet someone. When he returned to the table he had a big grin on his face. I will never forget his words and how happy he sounded. He told me everything was going to be okay real soon. He was to meet with someone that afternoon. I asked who his meeting was with, but he wouldn't say. For the first time in years, my husband went around the house whistling. It was something he did every day of our married life until we lost Tommy. From that time until today Tom had been angry with the world and everyone in it. It made me so happy to see him happy. I feel as if I'm getting my husband back.
Britt saw the next entry and stopped. It was one simple sentence but it carried a lot of weight. He read:
March 28th
I lost Tom today. I don't think I can go on without him.
Devon suddenly jumped to his feet. "This madness has got to be stopped!" Saying those words, he opened the door and disappeared, the darkness swallowing him up.