Pornlandia

Pornlandia, Chapter 2 By ThePhallocrat (thephallocrat@gmail.com) ________________

"Are you ready?" I asked, but it was a rhetorical question. Of course he was.

Andrew, my straight best friend and roommate, the closest thing to a brother I'd ever had, was on his back on the edge of my bed. His legs were spread wide and he was looking-up wide eyed at me. His ass was glistening in the afternoon sunlight due to all the saliva I deposited during an ass-eating session that felt like it had lasted at least an hour (though I wasn't trusting my sense of time to be accurate just now). His hole was as relaxed and ready as it was going to be. It was basically winking at me suggestively, coyly even. Beckoning me into its forbidden depths.

Of course he was ready! We'd been sucked into porn, somehow, and in porn everybody was always ready. It didn't matter that Andrew had never had more than a finger up his butt before, or that as fairly basic straight bro he'd barely heard of douching let alone ever done it, he was ready and eager and we both knew it was going to be amazing. The sex is always amazing in Pornlandia.

That's what I'd started calling it. I don't know why. It was a dumb name. But it stuck in my head. Pornlandia. The place where you're caught in the porn state of mind.

I started sliding my seven inch cock inside of him. Seven inches? It had always been six. But somehow I knew it was seven now. It was growing. He gasped as it went in, mouth dropping open. The skin of his opening gripped and caressed me as I pressed in. We both groaned.

"I never, ever thought I'd get fucked in the ass," he said, whimpering. "Not ever."

"I never, ever thought I'd be the one fucking you!" I said. I pushed another inch in. Heavenly bliss!

Then he said the hottest thing he'd said since we'd got sucked into Pornlandia. "I'm glad it's you. I wouldn't want it to be anybody else."

My heart pounded. Was that true? Or was the porn just telling me what I wanted to hear? I didn't know what to say. So I just said, "I'm all the way in," and grunted as his sphincter closed around the very base of my dick. "How does it feel?"

He was pale, his brow tense. "It's really... weird."

"Bad weird or good weird?"

"I can't really tell?" he admitted.

I gave him one long slow stroke in and out, rubbing against his special spot deep inside. The feeling of his skin on mine made me whimper, and he yelped and then moaned deeply and started working his dick.

"OK, it's definitely good weird!" he managed to say, short of breath.

"That's what I thought," I laughed. Then I leaned down to kiss him while I began a slow and steady rhythm with my hips. It was hot as hell to feel his tongue on mine and feel the vibrations when the action of my dick made him moan into my mouth.

I broke off the kiss to bury my face in his neck, smelling him and kissing his tender skin there. He moaned my name softly in my ear. This was unreal. Literally. Nothing about this could be real. But it was wonderful. Eventually, I felt like I'd loosened him up enough with my slow and tender fucking. It was time to kick it up a notch.

I hooked his legs over my shoulders and took him on a one-way express trip to Pound Town. I was loving the look on his face, this kind of hilarious and sexy look of surprise, fear, and absolute bliss.

"Fuckin' hell, dude!" it burst out of him loudly.

"You like that?"

"You're gonna fuck me in half at this rate," he smirked.

"Oh you sweet summer child," I turned my head to kiss his leg, "You haven't seen ANYthing yet." Then I leaned forward until he was practically bent in half, giving myself a more downward thrusting angle that could go deeper. And then I really let loose on him, fast and deep.

I could hear him trying to say something but he could not quite form the words. Instead he bounced and squeaked and whelped and whimpered. My face was very very close to his now, and our eyes were locked, mirroring each other's expressions. His mouth dropped open, so did mine. He bit his lip, I did too. His eyes went wide, so did mine. Suddenly they rolled back into his head and his lips curled, his whole body tightened, including his hole, and I knew I was about to pound a load right out of him. We came at the same time, because of course we did. If porn is to be believed, simultaneous orgasm is the easiest thing in the world. My thrusting increased to a furious speed and then dramatically stopped. We locked eyes, mirroring an expression of blissful vulnerability and awe as his cum spurted over his chest and mine coated him from the inside. One blast of his jizz hit him on the chin and we both started laughing even as we were still moaning. His cock slowed down with the fewer and smaller spurts but my dick was still spasming, balls still pumping.

"My god," he said, wiping his chin.

"I'm still going," I gasped, "Still filling you." I pushed in even a little deeper.

"Fuck, that is gross," he snorted, shaking his head, "In a really really hot way. Give me every drop." I felt him tighten around me. I rolled my head back and snarled, the inner animal fully released. He laughed and punched me lightly in the pec.

"You're a fucking beast," he smirked, "Who would have thought?"

At last I collapsed onto him, then we sorta rolled over onto the bed, disentangling from each other, to catch our breath and just cuddle a bit. He was gasping for breath, even though frankly I'd done all the hard work.

"That was so intense," he said at last, staring at the ceiling, "I've literally never felt anything quite like that."

My heart rate was only just starting to get back to something approaching normal. "Oh yeah, prostate orgasms are no joke, it's a full body experience."

He nodded, turning to look at me. "I had no idea sex with a guy would be this good."

"Well," I said, "It IS quite good. But again I don't think this is a good sample. This is porn sex, so it's all a bit... larger than life."

"You really think we're inside porn? That sounds pretty fake."

"How else do you explain this, bud?" I said, running a finger through the pools of cum on his chest. I reached over to my nightstand and pulled out a cum rag, started to give him a good cleaning. "Best friends for a decade, totally platonic, then suddenly we're fucking like rabbits? Besides, you're straight."

"I mean I thought I was," he replied, "But I guess not anymore?"

"You are. Close your eyes and thinking of fucking a woman. The hottest woman you can imagine."

He did so. I saw his dick start to come back to life.

"That's hot, right?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's hot. But you and I, just now... I dunno, maybe I'm bi?"

"Have you ever thought about a man sexually before an hour ago? Be honest."

He was quiet for a while, took a deep breath. "No, I don't think so," he said, "Not really."

"You see? You're the classic straight guy goes gay for me porn fantasy trope. The porn is imprinting on our reality or something. I mean look at your dick! Has it always been that big?"

The fantasy of the sexy woman must have been good because he was fully erect again already. He looked down at it. "Damn! What the hell. I'm huge."

"That's got to be up to 8 inches now," I said, "Everything is changing. Your ass is incredible. It hasn't looked that good since college."

"You remember what my ass looked like in college?" he asked, grinning.

"Andrew," I crossed my arms. "Of course I do."

"You've always wanted to fuck me, haven't you, you little perv," he punched me playfully again.

"No! Well, I mean. Back when we met, definitely. But I got over it. I was happy to just be friends."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Suuuuure."

"OK! So I've always kind of wanted to fuck you. And vice versa." I turned and showed him my ass, which still had his cum leaking out of it. "The porn knows that. It's catering to my every fantasy. You were the closest fantasy in reach I guess. Listen, real talk -- I don't want this to mess up our friendship though."

"I'm not bothered by it," he said, shrugging. "Let me show you how little it bothers me. Come sit on my dick for a bit."

"You're not bothered by it NOW, but once we get out of Pornlandia, if we get out..."

"Pornlandia? You're such a nerd. Come on, come get on my dick, I wanna load you up again. You know you want more." He waggled his newly enlarged erection at me and thrust the air a few times.

"Andrew," I sighed, trying to sound annoyed but unable to keep myself from adding, "We will absolutely do that. But we should try to figure out something about our situation first. Like how far does this go? Is it just us? Just our apartment? Or is it more wide-spread?"

"Awwww," he said, sounding like a kid who had just been told Christmas was canceled.

"Twenty minutes. Let's investigate this for twenty minutes and then we can fuck again. Okay?"

He groaned. "Fiiiiiine. Fifteen minutes. Not a minute more. Set a timer."

I laughed but he was serious. His eagerness to fuck me again was, of course, extremely sexy. I stared at him for a few long breaths, thinking.

"Alexa," I said, voice cracking a little, "Set a timer for fifteen minutes." Alexa confirmed the timer obediently.

Andrew winked at me. "Good boy," he said, pulling himself to his feet, "OK, where do we start."

"Well," I swallowed hard and tried to focus, "We need to see if this is just us. First things first let's just... look out the window?"

"And see if there are gangs of men fucking on the street?"

"Well I was gonna say look for anything out of the ordinary but, yes, that would qualify."

"Ok, let's-- whoa," he said suddenly, reaching a hand behind him, "Wow, your load is coming out now."

"Just hold it in. Squeeze your hole shut."

"Naw, dude, I'm trying but it's too late, one sec," and he scurried off to the bathroom to dump my cum out of his ass and I experienced a moment of vertigo realizing that this was really happening. "Sorry, I'm new to this!" he called behind him.

So I went out to the front room and peered through the blinds on my own. I didn't know what to expect, but the parking lot of our apartment complex looked normal, and out on the street cars were going by and one or two people were strolling down the sidewalk like it was any other day. It made me start to wonder if my "stuck in porn" theory was insane.

"Well, it all seems pretty normal outside," I called to him.

"Yeah? One sec," he replied. "Dude, you came SO MUCH, holy cow. Wasn't that your third nut in like an hour? Are you some kind of bottomless fountain of jizz?"

"Maybe!" I taunted, but he had my full attention again. I walked to the bathroom and stood outside the door. "Can't believe you are just shitting me right out, you don't want my babies?"

I heard him laugh. "Only if you're paying child support." The toilet flushed and then the door opened, and I was face to face again with naked Andrew.

"Oh, hello there," he said, eyebrow arched suggestively. "All done. But that made me horny."

"Of course it did. This is so weird."

"Good weird or bad weird?" he winked.

"Do me a favor," I said, thinking fast.

"Sure, bend over."

"Andrew! The timer isn't up yet!"

"Okay! Jeez. What?"

"Go outside, across the street, and see if you still wanna fuck me. Maybe it only affects you when we're in the same room or close by."

"But I'm naked!"

"Put some clothes on first, obviously."

"Ugh! Fine! You let a buddy fuck you in the butt one time and suddenly he's bossing you around like he owns you." He went into his room and threw on a t-shirt and loose shorts, then completed the look with some flip-fops.

His casual jokes about our coupling were really attractive. He seemed perfectly at peace with his sudden foray into gay sex, in a way that felt like it could be part of his easy-going and loving personality, but probably wasn't. In the real world, any "straight" guy would be filled with all sorts of complicated feelings at this point. Andrew just wanted to fuck again. It had to be porn. Right?

"OK, take your phone and text me when you're across the street about how you are feeling."

He gave me a thumbs up and strolled out. From the window I watched him cross the street to stand on the sidewalk on the other side. He looked around, even nodded at a few people who walked past. It was Sunday afternoon, around 5:00pm, so while it was hardly a busy time there were still folks out and about. I saw him take out his phone and start texting.

My phone buzzed. The message said: "Hey, slut. Still want your hole. Should I walk further away?"

"No, come back for now," I typed back, unable to stop grinning. I said aloud, "Alexa, how much time left on the timer?"

She told me there was approximately five minutes left. Somehow, she sounded smug about it too, like she knew exactly why I was asking. I thought about the evening full of sex that was no doubt in front of me and decided I should hydrate. I filled up a cup in the sink and was taking a long drink when my phone buzzed again with another text from Andrew.

"Shit, Johnny here, get dressed. Forgot he was coming." And at that moment I could hear voices coming down the hallway towards our door. My heart dropped and in a panic I scurried back to my bedroom and closed the door. It was the least sexy thing that had happened in over an hour.

Once safely in my room, I clenched my fists in frustration. Why the fuck was that asshole here? Now of all times? Johnny was a friend Andrew had made during the time we weren't seeing each other much, another straight dude but a much more obnoxiously annoying one. He was rude to most people, but especially, I noted, to women and queer people. He bragged all the time about stupid stuff, and complained about everything in a pretty entitled way. He was one of those guys who listened to bro podcasts and swaggered about like he was hot shit. When I'd first met him, I couldn't believe Andrew was friends with somebody like that. But here's where Andrew's sweet himbo nature was a double-edged sword. He just didn't have the awareness to spot how much everybody else disliked Johnny. It wasn't the central issue that caused his breakup with Ashley, far from it, but... it didn't help. I'd tried to talk to Andrew about him and he had sorta been keeping his distance more from the guy lately, but they still hung out from time to time.

Johnny's sudden appearance really put a dent in my porn theory because there was nothing hot about Johnny, he was off-putting in every way, and if the porn was trying to fulfill my fantasies his presence here made no sense at all. Maybe he would leave soon. I threw on some clothes and went out to say hello. Normally I wouldn't, but I was hoping I could help Andrew get rid of him somehow so we could get back to... business.

"So you really don't wanna go anymore?" Johnny was saying, sounding annoyed. He barely acknowledged I'd walked into the room.

"Sorry, man, I forgot it was tonight, and I'm just not feeling it," Andrew was trying to keep his voice casual, but he shot me a slightly panicked and apologetic look.

"Unbelievable," Johnny shook his head. "I drove all this way, bro."

"What's up?" I asked as casually as I could.

"Forgot the game was tonight," Andrew explained, shrugging, "We were gonna go watch it at the bar, have a few drinks."

I didn't bother to ask what game. There was always some game or other happening. It was inscrutable from my point of view.

"Yeah, but I guess you wanna stay home with your new girlfriend instead," Johnny said, indicating me. His little statements about me and my sexuality got a bit more of an edge every time I saw him. But this one hit a nerve given my new intimacy with Andrew. I crossed my arms and I saw Andrew's face visibly darken.

"I'm just not feeling it, man, I have work tomorrow and I'm tired," Andrew said. His grimace suddenly turned into a knowing smile directed at me. "Exhausted, even."

"Fine, stay here and have a bubble bath and do your nails, I don't give a fuck," Johnny said, "You just should have texted me before I drove all the way over here."

"I forgot it was tonight!"

At that moment, our timer went off. The fifteen minutes was up, and it was time to fuck again. Andrew and I locked eyes in surprise and discomfort before we could prevent ourselves. Johnny definitely noticed.

"The fuck is that alarm for?" he said, suspiciously.

There was a long, awkward pause.

"I have something in the oven," I improvised.

"Wow, so domestic. What a great couple. Nice wife you found yourself, Andy."

"Come on, man, lay off with that shit."

"Whatever, dude, I'm gonna piss and then I'm out of here. I'm not missing the game." He excused himself to the bathroom without a backwards glance.

Andrew and I waited a moment until the door closed and we could hear his piss stream hitting the toilet.

"Sorry!" Andrew whispered, "I really did forget. That's why I was showering earlier, I was getting ready to go out, but I got..."

"Distracted? Yeah, I was there." I smiled.

"Sorry he says shit like that. I'm starting to wonder why I ever hung out with him. Why I still do."

"It's cool," I said. I mean it wasn't really, but I was in a pretty good mood for obvious reasons. "Just make it up to me when he leaves."

"You've got a DEAL," he said, then actually reached out and cupped my cheek affectionately. I am sure I blushed.

The door to the bathroom opened and we jumped away from each other. I didn't like that, I didn't like having to hide. I could tell Andrew didn't either, actually.

"Andy, bro," Johnny said, "your bathroom smells like JIZZ. You been jerking off all day? Or you two love-birds been fucking each other finally?"

He laughed. Andrew and I didn't. He stopped laughing. He looked back and forth at us, eyes narrowing.

"Whatever you had in the oven is gotta be burnt by now," he said.

"Oh." I said, "Right." I didn't know what else to do or say. I made no movement towards the oven, it was perfectly clear that it wasn't on. I exchanged a helpless look with Andrew. He shrugged back at me. Johnny saw it all.

"Holy shit," Johnny said, shaking his head, "You guys ARE fucking, aren't you?"

Andrew tried to change the subject, but Johnny wasn't having it, "Naw man, it totally reeks of sex around here actually." He literally went sniffing around, ending up close to my room. "Damn you guys really have been at it hardcore. Andy, bro, dude, I know Ashley broke your heart but that don't mean you gotta go gay to get laid."

"What I do is none of your business," Andrew said at last, "I'm getting really sick of your shit, Johnny. I dunno why I put up with it for so long. Get the fuck out of here."

"Well, sorrrrry," Johnny said, putting up his hands, "I just can't imagine what the guys down at the bar will think when they know you turned homo. For this guy of all people," again he barely looked at me. "You turned down that fucking hot as fuck waitress last week and I thought you just were still moping over Ashley, but naw you're into scrawny nerdy dudes now."

Andrew surprised me by getting up in Johnny's face pretty aggressively. It seemed to surprise Johnny too. Andrew's soft demeanor often made you forget he was a taller, bigger guy, a fact that Johnny was suddenly remembering very vividly. Not to mention that the porn was taking effect and Andrew's muscles seemed just a bit more thick than I remembered.

"For your information," Andrew said in a scarier voice than I thought he was capable of, "This scrawny nerd is a better person, a better friend, and way better at sex than you'll ever be, you pathetic, insecure piece of shit."

My mouth dropped open. Johnny turned red. A homophobic slur formed on his lips, we could both see it, he was about to let loose with a real F bomb and show his true colors, but Andrew didn't give him the chance. I don't even recall the punch, really, I seemed to blink and suddenly Johnny was on the floor, unconscious mostly but groaning and twitching. He'd come around pretty soon.

I looked at Andrew and my stomach dropped. My heart was pounding. It took all I had not to run over and jump on his dick right then and there. Well, I knew then why Johnny was here. The porn was still catering to my fantasies after all.

"Holy shit, I knocked him out," Andrew said, grinning, "with one punch! Maybe you're right, this isn't the real world after all. Fuck that felt good."

"My hero," I said. I was joking, but I also meant it. I wanted him badly. "You know what else would feel good?"

"I have a few ideas. Wait one second, though." he ran off to his room. I watched Johnny groan with satisfaction for a little bit, then Andrew reappeared with a pair of handcuffs.

"Why the fuck do you have those!"

"Ashley wanted to try them once! It didn't go great. But I never got rid of `em. I'm glad I didn't, now."

"You're gonna put them on Johnny? Seriously?"

"None of this is real. I sorta buy what you were saying about that now. So fuck it, why not. I think he deserves to be taught a lesson.

"I dunno, this sounds an awful lot like a crime," I said, "And not something either of us would normally do."

"Exactly! We wouldn't! But this isn't real! Consequences be damned. And wouldn't it feel good to punish him somehow?"

I looked at the piece of shit on the floor. "Yes. Yes, it would."

"And I think I know just the way, come on, help me."

"You're not gonna... are you?"

"What? Naw, he doesn't deserve this dick. I have a better idea."

And that's how Johnny woke up after a few minutes finding himself handcuffed with both hands behind his back, feet tied together, sitting on the couch, while five feet in front of him he was greeted by the exquisite sight of Andrew seated on a chair while I rode his dick. My back was to Johnny, and I only had eyes for Andrew, but it was still a thrill knowing Johnny had a front-row seat to gay paradise and a clear view of cock entering ass. I was pretty sure the porn was gonna do its magic from there. Andrew grinned up at me, occasionally looking beyond me to see Johnny's reaction.

"He looks real mad," Andrew murmured, smiling. "But kind of red. I think he's blushing."

"Yeah? Is he watching closely?"

"His eyes are locked on my dick," Andrew confirmed. "He seems to be taking very careful notes in his head."

"I can hear you freaks!" Johnny said, but his voice sounded weak.

"So he likes what he sees?" I asked, still only looking at Andrew.

"He's shaking his head no, but those eyes say yes. And he's definitely starting to pitch a tent."

"Ohhhh, uh oh, he's getting horned up watching us fuck, huh?" I asked, bouncing a little faster. With every thrust Andrew's bigger dick touched off a rush of pleasure through my whole body. It made speaking difficult, but I loved what we were saying. It was driving me pretty feral to be honest with you.

"Of course he is," Andrew said, "We're hot as hell."

And we were. And it was. But hearing Andrew say it was intoxicating. And even Johnny couldn't deny we were hot together. I risked a peek over my shoulder at him. He had an obvious erection and a spot of damp on his shorts where pre-cum was leaking through. He looked miserable, but he couldn't seem to look away from the penetration. It suddenly seemed like the cruelest part of the handcuffs was that it kept him from jerking off to what he was witnessing.

"Bet he wishes he were you right now," I said, looking back at Andrew.

"I bet he wishes he were YOU," Andrew said, pounding a little harder. "Dude could probably use a good pounding."

"But he'll never be either of us."

"Nope."

"He'll never have an authentic human connection in his entire pathetic life, so he'll never know what good sex is like," I continued. It just sorta poured out of me.

I heard a weird sound. I looked behind me and Johnny was crying, his dick still hard. I'd hit a nerve?

"Oh my god," I whispered to Andrew. "This is nuts."

"The porn seems to be catering to your very specific fantasies," Andrew commented, his hands running all over my chest and body.

"Ones I didn't even know I had!" I admitted, laughing. "This one feels very out of character for me. I generally find consent and enthusiasm the hottest."

"But this is turning you on, isn't it?

"It really fucking is. I can't lie."

"Haha, don't get guilty. It's not real. And he deserves this."

"Yeah, I guess. Fuck that guy. But the longer we're in Pornlandia, the more of my fantasies might get brought to life. That's gonna be really embarrassing. And maybe even... scary?"

"Ooooh," he said, wiggling his eyebrows, "We're gonna learn a lot about you, aren't we? I can't wait. But we can worry about that later. We have something important to finish first." He stood up, holding me onto his dick with his strong arms, then flipped me around so my back was on the chair. He stayed in me the whole time.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, raising his voice to make sure Johnny heard every word, "First, Johnny is gonna watch me breed you."

Johnny groaned, a mix of pleasure and pain. I laughed. From the bedroom, a rainbow glow of magic pulsed into the room.

Pornlandia still reigned supreme.