Pookie

HI there....I managed to post this before the weekend...it is smaller, but I just had to end at this stage of the story:))))) Thanks you so much for all the e-mails...keep on sending them to pookie_story@hotmail.com. I really need them...Thanks also to my editor for bearing with me and editing this and for all the work:)))) I hope that you like it and pleasesend you opinion.

NOTE----> some e-mails that I tried to answer you didn't make to you. I'm having some troubles with hotmail....I will try to reply to everyone...so if you didn't get one...it was hotmail's fault :)), anyway just go to the story and enjoy it:))

NOTE----> I really have to thanks to Jack Boy, he edited all the chapter since chapter 2 and was a great help....he can't edit the story for three weeks, and I really needed to find someone that could replace him for that time....again thank you Jack Boy, I wish you the best

Pookie6

THUMP. It sounded like someone bumping into something. I looked around to see an angry Bri rubbing her head.

"Fuck, that really hurt...." she said, crawling towards me. "I haven't been up here for ages...!"

Bri and I had built this tree house when we were younger over the summer. We loved this place when we were younger, but now older, we would rarely visit it...

"I wish I could be young again..." I said, looking up and gazing at the moon.

"You Still are young Brad!" Bri said mocking me. She was laying down beside me, with her head on my shoulder. "But now that you mention it...Yeah, it was really cool, just the two of us... ....playing....life was so simple..."

"Yeah....and now we have so much occupying our minds, that sometimes you just need to stop and think!" I said, stroking her hair.

Bri just nodded, not saying anything...we stayed like that for some minutes; I was stroking her hair while watching the moon; and Bri, lost in thought, gazing into space.

"Tell me, What happened?" she asked.

"Mike...."

"What happened?" she asked again.

"I found him with Michelle kissing on the balcony!"

Bri was silent, but I could sense her tense up. "Well what kind of kiss was it? ...an innocent kiss or did it have tongue?"

"Does it matter?" I asked sadly.

"Sorry..." she said. Bri lifted her head and kissed my cheek. "How are you feeling about this?"

"I don't know...I mean, it's not that I wasn't expecting it...it's just that it seems that I always bring these things on myself..."

"Don't say that....Mike was probably drunk...and he didn't know what he was doing..:"

"That's an excuse?"

" I don't believe Mike to be the cheating guy type...I'm not defending him...I am now and always will be on your side...but I don't know...I just have this feeling..." Bri said, looking me thoughtfully in the eye.

"I'm hurt...I may not be crying my heart out....but I'm hurt....Mike should not have done that.. he didn't have the right to hurt me like that...and I just knew that that model Michelle would get what she wanted...I mean now that I look at it...I kind of understand why he chose her." I said looking down.

"Don't start...you're beautiful....everyone has something special...you are special...and I'm totally on your side whatever you do!" she said, hugging me.

.....

The weekend passed fairly quickly....I spent most of it home not doing anything special...Bri and Kevin called, worried about me and how I was coping...I did appreciate their concern, but at the same time needed some time to think...I just needed to be alone...my mother noticed my mood, but she knew that when I wanted to talk I would. It was a really quiet weekend. I spent most of the time trying to decide what to do...Mike didn't call me or try to contact me..and I wasn't surprised, just hurt...plain hurt.

Monday is a weird day....I just don't like Mondays. ...Yeah, but they keep on comming. Most Mondays mom leaves me to make my own way...my mom would need to get up earlier on Mondays, and also wake me up earlier. I went through my usual morning routine and sat in the kitchen eating my cereal, enjoying my Zen moment. My mom entered the kitchen, finishing the buttoning of her blouse.

"Honey, I need to talk to you!" she said, sitting in front of me.

"Shoot!"

"So, What's wrong with you?" she asked taking my hand with her own. "I watched you moping around the entire weekend, and I really want to help..."

"I'm ok, really, just a phase...I'm sure it will pass!" I said, looking at the cereal bowl.

Mom looked at me as if searching for some sign. "I'm your mother, I love you no matter what, I just want the best for you."

"I know mom!" I said rolling my eyes.

"But honey, we must share whatever is troubling you, I feel that you're holdin---"

Suddenly all the pressure won, all the years that she would say that I could tell her everything, that she loved me no matter what took the best of me, and I couldn't take it anyomoew so I just blurted out. "I'm gay!"

Mom froze and stood, looking at me. And if silence could kill.... Well, She stood, staring at me not saying a word. Suddenly she turned and just walked off to her work. I dropped the spoon and my head fell into my hands. I just stared at the table, seeing nothing as my eyes started to tear up. I don't know how long I was there, and then I heard Bri's voice.

"Brad, I swear...if you're sleeping, I'll---" she stopped when she saw me.

She ran towards me and embrased me. I held on to her and sobbed....all the tears that I had held in and not wept when I had needed to I cried then. Bri didn't know what was wrong but she kept holding me... The whole way to school, I was silent. Bri seemed to be afraid to ask me what was wrong, but her arm never left my shoulders. We arrived late to the first class and when we entered we made some lame excuse, while everyone started at us. I couldn't look at anyone. I just focused on my book and the class.

My mom hated me...she was gonna throw me out...why was I so stupid to say what I had said? I was so fucked up....I so wanted to find a hole and hide in it and not see anyone... luckly, first period passed quickly and the teacher to the secound class was absent. ,I got up and walked like a zombie towards the hall.

Bri grabbed me and dragged me to our quiet place near the tree.

"Brad, what happened? I didn't want to ask while walking to school. You looked like you didn't want to talk..."

"I told my mom!" I said looking down.

"Told your mom what?" Bri asked, not understanding. Then suddenly it dawned on her. "Why? HOW?"

"I just blurted it out...I was just so pressured...I just..!" I said, feeling the tears running down my cheeks.

Bri hugged me. "Calm down, calm down....what did she do?"

"Mom just left...she must hate me...what am I gonna do?" I said, totally despairing.

"Shhhh...calm down...she must be needing some time to think...you're her son...how could she hate you?" she said smiling at me. "And besi---"

"Hey, Bri!" I heard Jared call her from behind me.

"Not now Jared...I'm kinda in the middle of something..." Bri said.

"It's alright...you go with him...I'll be fine..." I said wiping away my tears. "We'll meet in the next break..."

"I can't leave you!"

"Please, just go.." I said smiling and pushing her.

She looked in two minds, but seeing my determination, decided to go. As Bri walked away, she threw me a kiss. I smiled back and collected my bag to head for the next class.

.....

I was in the quietest place in the school complex. Out behind the school's library was a small alcove with some old benches sheltered by some trees. I was seated in the furthest, darkest corner, thinking of the times when Pete and I would sneak in here and enjoy each other....I was so happy...I was so in love...I saw Pete as the perfect guy...but now.. now, I just wanted to flee to a desert island and escape from everyone.

I remembered the time when Pete told me he liked me. He led me here and we sat and we talked. And as we were talking I noticed that he kept moving closer to me. Suddenly out of the blue, he asked me if he could kiss me....

From my concealed place I could hear someone approaching my hiding place. I peered out and could see that it was Michelle and one of her friends. I kept myself hidden but could not escape hearing their conversation which had caught my curiosity. I really wasn't in the mood for eavesdropping.

"So, did you do it?" the friend asked.

"We only kissed.... he was too drunk to do it!" Michelle said sounding disappointed.

"Are you gonna do it?"

"Of course I am....this is the only way to get to the football captain..."

"You could talk to him and flirt..." the other said, matter of factly.

"I tried...he didn't fall for it....if I fuck Mike, John will be jealous and will want to fuck me..." Michelle said, while touching up her makeup.

"But they are friends..."

"Men are animals....they only want to fuck....and they have their pride...as the football captain, he has to be the best of them all!"

"Nice philosophy...just look out...or you'll get hurt." The other said smiling. "By the way...is Mike any good?"

"You can't even imagine..."

Suddenly the bell rang, and they both left while I stayed there trying to hold back the tears....

.....

After Maths, the day was over. I had found Bri and she managed to convice me to go with her watch the footbal practice (all because of Jared). We were sitting in our usual spot.

"So, how did things go with Jared?" I asked.

"Well he tried to kiss me..."

"Only tried? I sense a but in there..:"

"I couldn't kiss him...." she said looking down, "not after leaving you so sad like that...I couldn't...I was just too worried..."

At that moment I realized how much I loved Bri....well, like a sister....she was my real friend, I loved her completely. I hugged her and cried a little

"Are you better now?" she asked, still sounding worried. I could see a tears hiding in the corner of her eyes.

"They say that time's a great healer..." I said sadly.

"I'm sure that you'll get over him..and your mother just has to adjust to you..."

I didnt't answer. We sat watching the practice and I noticed that Mike seemed down today. I must have been dreaming, life is like that: so cruel, you have your dream one day and you look away and the next time you look back....it's gone! I looked at Mike and saw him talking happily to his friends. They may have been discussing who had the best girl at the party; that thought made me sick. I knew that it was the way it meant to be. I was a teenager, a gay teenager, I wasn't supposed to be happy. Life was supposed to be totally cruel, until I managed to get a job and my house and find people like me. Until then I would have to live through hell.

I just didn't understand why I was so depressed...I knew all of these things but I kept on staying sad. When Mike kissed me, deep down I knew that he would dump me just like Pete had before him, and probably all of my future boyfriends would do. I just couldn't make myself become used to it..I didn't want to become used to it....

I knew from Pete that bisexual men were unstable, that they could wake up some day and discover that they wanted a be with a woman. But I still just looked at Mike and my heart would race faster. I could only smile to myself and just go with the flow...

My thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Michelle, jumping and throwing herself about with the other cheerleaders. I thought that really she probably was very desperate; I mean she wanted to get to John even if she had to fuck the whole team. I swore to myself to never get to that point, ...to never get myself get so degraded.

Bri was deep in thought too, only that she was totally concentrating on Jared. It was funny I couldn't see Bri staying hooked on a guy like Jared for very long. Jared seemed to be a nice enough guy, but I was a little concerned, .. well he was a footballer and I mean footballers only bring problems.

"I'm gonna speak to Jared now. Since I know that you won't mind, that WIll make me happier..." she said, grabbing her books.

I smiled. Bri walked towards him and said something. Suddenly out of the blue, she kissed him, and the jocks around him started to holler and whistle. The cheerleaders just looked on at her with a "What a bitch" look. I just laughed.

"So, they are a couple now, huh?" I heard someone say behind me.

I turned around to see Pete standing there.

"Pete? What are you doing here?" I asked surprised.

"I missed practice today, and I come here to talk to the coach, and seeing you here.." he said sitting down next to me.

I nodded.

"Well, I needed to talk to you, I behaved like a prick when I saw you and Mike." He said, looking down. "I'm sorry, it's just that....I still have feelings for you, and seeing you and Mike together....well it kind of pissed me of..."

"Pete I---"

"Let me finish.... I'm not gonna ask you to come back to me...I just have to get over you...." He said. "I wish you good luck with Mike, he's a great guy...."

I wanted to tell him that Mike and I were finished. I wanted to talk to him about it, but I just couldn't, I said. "Thanks...good luck to you too with everything."

He smiled and walked towards the coach. I felt suddenly relaxed, as if a huge weight was lfted from me.

"Brad, this is Jared. Jared this is my almost brother Brad." Bri said, startling me.

"Hi! " I said, shaking his hand.

They were hugging each other and were saying that we should go to get something to eat; they invited me but I could understand that that they really meant that they wanted to be together... I would be a third wheel, so they left and I stayed sitting there staring out over the field.

I wanted to delay my walk home; facing my mother wasn't going to be easy, I was scared. I don't know why but looking at the groundsmen and other people going about their business just helped give me some courage to think that I could face the problems in my life too. I knew that I would need a lot of courage to become someone in life, ...and I needed to talk to my mom.

.....

It was all quiet as I entered my home. I remained silent, my mom's car was outside so she was here; I listened for some sound to indicate where she was....but nothing....walking to the living room, I found my mom and a man that I did not know sitting On the sofa in silence waiting for me.

I dropped my backpack and stepped to stand before my mom. This moment had to be faced, I had to know. They stared at me. My mom stood and came towards me. She stood there looking at me, as if trying to find something to say; I did not know what Mom was thinking; I was holding back the tears, afraid of what she might do or say.

Suddenly, she hugged me and started to cry; I was stunned and just stood there letting her hug me. We stayed like that for some time until she managed to compose herself and look at me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted that way towards you." She said, wiping her eyes, "I love you, Brad.... I may not understand what you are, but I love you no matter what, I won't ever reject you..."

I looked at her and started to cry too; I had been so afraid, I felt like a little boy again, it was like she was saying everything I wanted, I hugged her and just cried.

"Brad, this is Jeffrey, a friend of mine." She said, introducing us. "Jeffrey's also gay. I've known him for some time...I talked to him after I left home this morning; and he talked to me and explained many things..."

"I thought that you hated me..."

"Son, you're the one person that I have left in this world, I could never hate you....Jeffrey told me of boys that attemped to suicide, that were forced to run away from their homes, and I just was so scared..."

I looked down.

"I have never had any difficulty accepting gay people; but suddenly having a son that is gay....well it is something....I just have to get used to the idea.." she said smiling.

We continued talking and Jeffrey contributed with his experiences and stories of others. He was a great guy, totally relaxed, and he seemed to understand me. We were finished our discussion and as Jeffery was preparing to leave, I managed to pull him aside without my mom around.

"Jeff, I have a question."

"Shoot kid."

"I caught my boyfriend kissing a girl...and..."

"Stop...don't say anything more....was he drunk? Was it only a kiss? Son, these things happen, we are all only human..."

"I know...I just feel like he used me..."

"And you have the right to feel that way...but just please hear his side of the story...I mean it was the first time right?"

I nodded.

"Then....everyone deserves a second chance...." he said smiling. "But....don't let yourself become weak...everyone deserves a second chance, maybe not a third...."

"Thanks..."I said, hugging him.

Watching Jeffery leave, I stood and thought whether I should forgive Mike or not? Did he deserve a second chance?

TBC....

I'm evil....I know....the next chapter may take some time...I'm starting classes and I'm having more work...please bear with me....keep on e-mailing me to: pookie_story@hotmail.com