A PODUNKIAN BACHELOR PARTY
By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM
"You are American, yes?" the blond-haired stud said to me, in pretty fair English.
"Yes, I am." I grinned up at him. I was in a barn on a Podunkian farm, where a party was shaping up, lots of men, no women, a fair amount of drink, enough food to keep the drink from getting to be too much, and plenty of bales of hay to sit on, surrounding a semi-altar of bales over which a colorful rug had been thrown.
"May I join you?" the Podunkian man asked.
"Please do." I gestured to the bale of hay I was sitting on, just barely room enough for two. Which suited this big stud just fine. He settled in next to me, his arm went around my shoulder, and I got a strong whiff of his body. Not nasty, just the smell of a man who had spent his days laboring in the fields and developing a massively beautiful body the natural way, and who had washed himself well and now was ready for some fun. That sort of smell. No cologne can match it, though many try.
"You come to see our wedding customs?" he inquired.
"Yes." I grinned a bit inanely. Podunkian wine is locally made and very strong, I had mastered it somewhat but it still burned my gullet on its way down. Maybe I'd drunk a bit more than I'd thought.
"I am glad." he said shyly. I think Americans are the most interesting people." It was like he was urging me to be attracted to him. Like urging a dog to like red meat!
"And I think Podunkians are very interesting, too." I urged back at him. "Like this pre-marriage party custom. I've never heard of such a thing. I understand it is to help a man decide whether he wants to be married?"
"Yes, that is right." His other hand came over and stroked up my inner thigh. "What do you do in America?"
"I...I write articles for a magazine." I said. "My editor sent me here to write about last year's Great Race. That was a tricky one, I had to explain how an overweight, out-of-shape man could outrace six strong men without explaining about all the sex going on in the bushes. In fact, when Vlados won the race, I never saw an unhappier winner in my life, all those studs in the bushes and none of them wanted him...."
As I babbled about this, my friend's hand had reached up and cupped my groin and I promptly lost my train of thought. "My name is Stamnos." the blond-haired Podunkian said to me. "Maybe you can write something about me, yes?"
"I...think I could do that." I said as I laid my own hand on the pole he had in those baggy dress trousers he had on. Podunkian costumes are colorful and exotic, at least to Americans, the vests accented the massive chest, the loose trousers let me feel the full length of his prong easily. Oh, God, I wanted this! I wanted it now!
But Stamnos held me back when I tried. "We must wait for Markos, the groom." he said to me. "This is his night."
I groaned. "But can we later?"
His answer to that was said with a smile. "We shall see." And he compensated me for my frustration with an ardent kiss.
Hell of a great place to be, Podunkia! I'd been more than happy to return to the tiny European country, which sits in a "no man's land" formed by the triangle of the borders of Austria, Hungary and Slovenia, somehow or other, Podunkia got overlooked and made a country by default back around 1918, and had proudly kept its unique customs ever since. Extremely unique. Like this pre-marriage celebration for instance.
It began with the entrance of the groom and his friends from one end of the barn. The groom Markos (I assumed it was him, and proved later to be right) wore a full-length gown like a priest wears under his vestments, the others were dressed in typical Podunkian dress clothes like so many peacocks. The other end, at the same time, came the male relatives of the bride's family.
There was some words in the Podunkian dialect, a mixture of Hungarian and Slovak that, though I spoke some of both languages, I couldn't follow that closely. No matter, I got the gist of it. The bride's family was challenging the groom about his worthiness to marry their relative, the groom's friends were defending his honor. The groom himself stood silent.
At one point, Markos stepped up, said a single phrase about, "Why don't you find out for yourself?" or words like that (again, my grasp of Podunkian was limited), and with a tug at the neck of his robe, and a shrug of his shoulders, he let it fall in a pool about his legs, and he was naked but for his boots (with the rather thick mud of this time of year, boots were a necessity no matter what you were wearing), and he moved into position on the altar, lying across the top on his stomach.
"So what happens next?" I asked Stamnos. "Uh, I mean, I know what happens next, I should say, why does it happen next?"
"Marriage is a very important change in a man's life." Stamnos explained. "When a man marries, he must forego sex with any other than his wife. It is important he understand just what that means."
I saw the men of both sides of his family adjusting their pants and said, "I can see what it means."
"Not at all." Stamnos corrected me. "The groom is to be torn between two ways of life. In Podunkian customs, the bride's family attempt to seduce him to join them in the marriage. The friends attempt to sway him to stay with them."
I considered this. "How can having sex with a man convince him to marry their sister or such?"
"When a man marries a woman, he marries their entire family. Any one of them may substitute for the wife in his bed when she cannot perform her duties, as when she is pregnant or merely does not wish to perform her wifely duties."
"Ah!" I said, understanding. "So it's a battle to win his heart in more ways than one."
"You do understand." Stamnos said. "I really admire that about Americans, the way they can cope with so many different customs. It must be very nice to live there."
"I think it's much nicer here." I said and took the opportunity to grope him again. My God, that tool of his was throbbing!
And again, he fended me off. "Not yet, my American friend."
"But when?" I moaned.
"Now we see the competition for the groom." Stamnos indicated the "altar." "That is Ordnos behind the groom, he is the bride's eldest brother. He has the honor of beginning to persuade Markos to leave his friends and join him with his sister in the Djastovko family."
I saw that Ordnos was a massive man and when he unleashed the monster in his pants, I saw an equally massive dong. "If I were Markos, I'd be pretty easy to persuade." I said. A younger member from Ordnos family squirted some oil on Ordnos' prod and he proceeded to use it to persuade Markos to marry his sister. As I watched that massive cock squirm into Markros' ass, I was ready to marry the girl myself, sight unseen! God, an occasional night of cunt would be worth the chance to ride on that rod the rest of the time!
"Observe, now, how the groom's friend Arknos now tries to counter Ordnos' tactics." Stamnos said.
I watched as another stud fed his cock into Markos' mouth. Jesus, that whanger was a twin to Ordnos' rod, easy! "Arknos certainly delivers a telling argument of his own."
"Ah, but Ordnos now increases his persuasion." Stamnos observed.
Ordnos began to grunt and with his prod firmly inside Markos, he leaned forward, grasped Markos' hips and began to lunge frantically at his brother-in-law-to-be's ass. Markos began to grunt in tune with Ordnos' thrusts and I said, "What happens if Markos climaxes from one or the other side fucking him?"
"That is a distinct sign that Markos is being initiated into his new family." Stamnos said. "But never fear, for Markos has a taste for man's milk that may yet win the day."
"Ah, then Arknos needs to deliver a good dose of man's milk to counteract Ordnos' thrusting." I said.
"You do understand." Stamnos said. I took his geniality for a chance to squeeze his rod again.
And again he fended me off.
"Oh, God, Stamnos, when do we get to play?"
"When it is our turn to help persuade the groom." Stamnos said. "As a friend of Markos, I must do my part to keep him free of the grip of the Djastovko Family. If he marries into them, then I must no longer visit his bed at night. And as you are a guest of Mikros, this makes you a friend of Markos as well."
"So I don't get to have sex with you tonight at all?"
Stamnos smiled. "As a friend of my friend, we shall, I promise. After we keep my friend Markos out of the clutches of the Djastovko and firmly in the family of Mieltorno."
"Damned right!" I said. "It's the Mieltornos all the way for me!"
That got me a rather ardent kiss.
"So what do we do?" I asked Stamnos when he tore me away from him. I felt ready to explode.
"We get in line." Stamnos said. "Alternate friends must counteract the impact of the Djastovko family by injecting our own vigor into the mixture."
I looked over to see Markos wailing in climax as Ordnos finished fucking him, and Ordnos' wail was accompanied by jism dripping out of Markos' ass as Ordnos pumped the rest into him. Arknos grunted, thrust at Markos' mouth as it wailed in its glory and he somehow managed to cap Markos own orgasm and subsidence into his own climax, he grunted, held onto Markos' head and squirted his own jizz into Markos mouth and Markos stirred, caught the flood as it poured out, and ended sucking lustily on the expending rod.
"I do believe we have a tie at the end of the first round!" I said with a yelp of joy. That Podunkian wine is really quite strong and I'd had more to drink than I'd intended.
"Now our side gets to play." Stamnos said. "First is Markos' best friend, Cralnos. If anyone can make him forget what it's like to be fucked by Ordnos' big dong, it'll be Cralnos. His organ is not as wide as Ordnos, but he knows Markos' pleasures as well as he knows his own."
"The home team advantage." I said, nodding. A universal truth indeed.
Watching stud after stud take on Markos' ass and mouth was an ordeal I still don't like to remember too much. All I can say was that when my turn finally came up, I was practically on the edge of orgasm. Determined to do my part to keep Markos free of the wiles of his fiance's family, I staggered over. I was given a shot at Markos' ass. As I positioned myself, I heard the word tossed around, "American, American." I had the advantage here of being exotic. I'd have to give this fuck my all.
I wasn't offered any oil and didn't think to ask for any. But by now, Markos had been humped by a dozen or so men and his butt had enough lube and then some, the jizz of a dozen men squelched about my prod as I jammed it inside. Fucking his butt was like fucking warm pudding. He was so loose now that my worries about holding off with a tight butt was no problem at all. Fucking his ass was soft, sweet and gentle on my organ. I was grateful for that, and so I showed Markos a few tricks I had picked up in my travels. A swivel I had picked up in Helsinki, a rocking motion I had learned on Paris' West Bank, and a final thrusting technique that I learned in India. Markos was whinnying like a horse by the time I was done. Stamnos was next in line for Markos' mouth and he smiled at me. When I finished with Markos, I could get to spend the rest of the night with Stamnos, he had promised me that.
Staring into that beautiful blond face, and that beautiful body that was soon to be mine, I found the inspiration to do my own part to keep Markos free. I lunged into his sweetly loose ass, I felt the jism squirping around my cock, all the hunks that had shot it in there, oh, God, my cock was practically swimming in hunk-come inside a hunk-ass, and a hunk was there for that sweet and slow second-time-around session, I forgot my technique and went into horn-dog rapid-fuck mode, Markos moaned and I added my cream load to the volume already in there, and when I did, I was gratified to see Markos manage his own third load for the evening.
Done, panting, I released my place to a second cousin of the Djastovko bride, and felt sure that Markos would break off the engagement for sure by now. I staggered over to a free bale, hitching my trousers back up around my waist, and watched as Stamnos did his part to win Markos' heart all over again. The long frustrating wait combined with the ultimate release and the wine sloshing in my stomach to add up to a rather embarrassing result...I passed out.
I woke up the next morning in a bed, looking around, was alone, and said to myself one word that summed it up well. "Shit!"
A knock at my door opened to show Stamnos. "You are awake now?" he said to me.
"Yeah." I said. "Sorry I passed out last night."
"It was a good party." Stamnos said.
"So what has Markos decided?"
"He has decided that he cannot make up his mind yet."
"Huh?" I was surprised by that. "I thought we were winning him over there at the end!"
"That is not to be, I fear." Stamnos said. "Markos may yet join with Djastovko family in marriage."
"So what do we do?"
"Try again at the next pre-marriage ceremony."
"There's another one?"
"There must be." Stamnos explained. "Until the groom decides one way or another, we must repeat the process. So next week, we must all do this yet again."
"Yet again? How many of these pre-marriage things has Markos been through?"
"Seventeen, so far."
"Seventeen..." I gaped.
"Marriage is a very serious business, you must understand." Stamnos said to me almost sternly. "No man should jump into it until he is positive that he will be happier married than free."
"And nothing is freer than weekly pre-marriage ceremonies." I admitted.
"I have considered taking a wife for myself." Stamnos said. "A man should marry one day. After due consideration of the options, of course and perhaps a dozen or so pre-marriage ceremonies to help me decide."
"Well." I said, throwing back the covers. "May I try to convince you to hold off on such a decision until I leave Podunkia next week?"
Stamnos smiled and reached for the tie at his throat. "I think you might be able to persuade me, the way you helped persuade Markos to hold off for another week."
"I think Markos already has all the persuaders he can handle." I said with feeling. But Stamnos was naked by then and I forgot all about Markos and his fickle marriage tendencies. Stamnos had fully recovered from the night's exertions and we spent the morning in a glorious reminiscing of our favorite parts of the night before.
I went with Stamnos after that to get some lunch. As I did, I saw a rather hunky young man jogging through the street. "Who is that?" I asked Stamnos. "A candidate for the Great Race?" That was only another month or six weeks away, I knew.
Stamnos shook his head. "No, that is the champion."
"That is Vlados?" I said, staring at the much-less-chubbier and far-more-muscular man running down the road.
"Yes, ever since he won last year, he has been on a strict diet and training regimen." Stamnos said. "He said he wants to be a credit to Podunkia."
"But...that's terrible!" I exploded.
"Terrible?"
"Yes." I said with feeling, remembering how the gamblers sent all the handsome hunks into the bushes of the race course to distract all the better racers. And how Vlados' training had turned him from a zero into a ten! "If Vlados keeps training, if he has become faster and more trim, if he has developed speed and a practiced running style to go with those gorgeous bulging muscles to replace all the fat he carried at last year's race..."
"Yes?" Stamnos said.
"Stamnos, you don't understand! If Vlados keeps this up, he's going to get so good that he'll lose the race! I have to find Mikros! We have to come up with a way to make Vlados lousy enough to win!"
THE END
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