PlayMaker 19
PlayMaker
By
RettaMichaels
Disclaimer
This is my disclaimer for 2009 folks! As you know, I change them, so please read and smile!
This is a fictional character. I'll say that until I'm blue in the face and yet, someone will write to me and tell me I've got something wrong, or he/she is that character, or they're going to sue me because their client has a family member with that name.
I can put disclaimers on a story all day long and still, I get someone who is just about nuts who will do the above paragraph. It makes no sense to me, but apparently, there are people who take themselves so seriously they want to be a fictional character. Well to those of you who choose to be that way, go read someone else's story and be a fuck-tional character.
By the way, if you're reading this to jack off (Adam Curtis). I'll smile and you hold it in your hand and read until the end. If you've spilled a load, I bet it wasn't reading a scene here! Everyone else who knows my writing is probably laughing their asses off right about now...I know I'm chuckling!
If you can hold it in your hand and type, then please BY ALL MEANS write me an email and send a photo of it. I want to see the man's appendage which can write, type, and just plain want to know it better!
If your appendage says it's straight, get a clue and get to a different site. If you're that confused, go to your search engine and type in Mental Health Help and seek the one in your area. Your appendage has my permission to cut and paste.
Just to make it an official disclaimer, if you're above the age of 18...great. If you're 118, super great...put a napkin over the keyboard and you won't get any drool on it.
If you're under the age of 18, please find the off switch on your computer and press it. It'll make your day and mine a lot brighter. If you come back to this site when it reboots, please repeat until you lose interest. If it takes more than once, get a clue you dumb fuck!
Notes From RettaMichaels:
PlayMaker is written as a period piece. The lead character is writing his memoirs at the end of his career in this day and time. Please read it as such as I've really got no time to correct people for what is obvious.
PlayMaker
Chapter Nineteen:
Back in the limo, we went to the civic center's entrance. Inside, we gave them our name and got led off a side hallway where we were taken up under the stage. We were shown an area to be seated and sat.
While we waited, numerous people all came over and shook our hands. Chris instantly perked up when someone got introduced to us and my reaction was generated by his response. When the guy had left, I turned to Chris, “Who was that?”
“Running back for the team we're playing tomorrow.”
“Oh, you should've introduced him as that. We could've gotten him on a good team!”
“He's right over there!”
“Ok, I'll be back.”
I went over, “Hey.”
“Hi. You their new quarterback?”
“Yeah, as well as co-owner.”
“Really? Man, you're young!”
“Yeah, but I couldn't help but wondering if you're interested in playing for us.”
“That's not how you do it.”
“What do you mean?”
“You gotta have your guy contact my manager and make him an offer.”
“Ok, I guess you're not interested.”
“IT's not that, it's that I can't talk with you about it this way.”
“That's dumb. I heard people saddled themselves with all those needless people who take their money, but I didn't actually believe it.”
“You don't have a manager?”
“Team manager? Yeah, personal manager? No. And, I don't have a publicist, hair or make up stylist, or nail person.”
“Was that a dig fella?”
“No, it's telling you if you sign a long term contract, you don't need a lot of needless people. You make more money for you instead of everyone else.”
“We have to try making money. You obviously don't have to worry about it, but I do.”
“Well, I would if I had to pay everyone's salary, so I guess half a football team on my back doesn't count. Just the same, if I didn't have the team, I'd still negotiate because I'd want to be sure one of those people I trusted got me a good deal.”
“What do you make?”
“Not a damned thing. If I made, it'd be twenty five million a year for fifteen years. I'd get that much in endorsements over a long term contract, so I'd be money ahead.”
“What do you pay your backs?”
Probably at least what you make. I couldn't tell you because Rob's the person who knows that. He's the other owner.”
“How'd you get your money?”
“Ever heard of Intel?”
“Is that over in England...some private eye thing?”
“Nah, it's making computer chips for everything from computers to your refrigerator.”
“Oh.”
“Ever heard of MCI-Worldcom/Sprint?”
“Yeah.”
“I own ten percent of the company.”
“Man, you a rich kid?”
“No, my parents died. My grandma invested the insurance money and now, I'm loaded.”
“Ok, so you decided to buy a team and play football.”
“Nah, I decided to go outside and throw a football around with Chris. He showed me how to throw it and I got to be good. Then, he showed me how to play tennis and I got to be good. By chance, he threw a football at me one day and I threw it back. The coach found out and as they say, the rest is history. Until then, I never even knew how to play the game. That was about three months ago.
Now, I'm a quarterback and they say I'm good. Scouts came and as luck would have it, I asked how much a team cost. My boyfriend's dad is a lawyer and he found us a team.”
“You're gay?”
“Yeah.”
“Man, don't let that out in the sport. They'll target you for sure.”
“Why?”
“No one's gay in sports. It's all about the power.”
“Ok, so I've got the power and I'm gay. You telling me a team will walk off the field rather than play me? OR, will they not be able to handle being beaten by a team with several gays on it?”
“Really?”
“What?”
“You have several gays on your team?”
“Yeah, my boyfriend, DJ over there, his boyfriend next to him, and possibly one more who hasn't told me.”
“Man!”
“You know we're all around, why not admit it?”
“What sort of long term contract are you talking about?”
“Hang on a second.” I turned and yelled, “Rob!” I went back to talking, “He'll be over in a moment. He knows those things.”
Rob came over, “Yes dear.”
“How long of contracts are we giving for his position?”
“How long does he want?”
He said, “My contract is up next February. Get me an eight year six million a year contract and we'll talk.”
Rob nodded. “Ok, what else?”
“Huh?”
“Benefits. We got houses, we got cars, and we got our fabulous city here.”
“I've got what I want. Well, I guess if I move, I'll have to sell my house, but that's no big thing.”
I turned to Rob. “Let's throw in a house and get him one of those store fronts to sell his merchandise.”
“Huh?”
Rob said, “Tell him.”
“Out in front of our stadium is a bunch of buildings. Most of them are bars right now, but we're going to be moving those bars out. Instead, we'll have a building for our players each...or sometimes with a couple of our guys in it which sells your merchandise. Our goal is to have a whole plaza devoted to the team, it's players, and a good family outing when they come to the game.”
“What's the catch?”
“The catch is your store front is ours. The second floor is a dorm for homeless and you agree to allow homeless to be employed in your store as sales help, and as security.”
“Ok! That sounds good.”
“Other than that, we help you market yourself and get you endorsements. You don't pay a management fee and you don't pay rent. The only thing we ask is you be available to sign autographs at the games and not to bitch about anything when you're making a boxcar full of money.”
“You can't stand that either, huh?”
“Absolutely not. It's dumb when someone complains while nineteen people wait to take his job. It just makes no sense when his fans are watching every word he says and they're hearing negative stuff about him, the team, and whatever company he's out there advertising.”
“SO, you're telling me to give my people the boot and sign on with you guys?”
“Yeah, it's that simple. Give us a call when you're free and we'll pick you up.”
“You promise?”
Rob reached over and shook his hand. “That's my handshake. I was told once by someone if my handshake is no good, neither is my word, and my signature. Since then, I've kept my word to people and it's good as gold.”
“Are you guys going to need to know I'm gay?”
“No, keep it a secret!” I said smiling. “We'll make lucky guesses.”
He laughed, “No, some companies won't let us advertise for them.”
“Yeah, and the way it goes is if a company won't advertise using you, they're sure not going to advertise with...say Chris over there because he's straight. We're a team and we stand behind each other...so don't drop the soap in the shower!”
He laughed, “That's funny!”
“On our team, you're going to be a member of a family. You need to know going out, partying, and getting drunk isn't going to cut it for us. We'll have you sign a waiver of liability and a promise pact which states you won't go out and cause problems. IF you do, that was the last time because you're off the team. However, we have our own nightclub which will be up and running by the time you arrive. It'll keep our guys away from idiot and keep them from turning into them.”
He nodded. “That'd save a lot of problems.”
“We like to think proactively rather than reactive. It's preventative to problems.”
Rob said, “One other thing, throughout the year, we're going to have lots of events where charities are the focus. One thing you'll find is we'll hold it on our plaza and not just one charity will hold center stage. We want to make kids the focus instead of charities. You'll be asked if you want to volunteer, but you're not required to attend.”
He nodded, “I like that. Can we suggest a charity, so it's involved?”
“Sure.”
“Good, that'd be nice.”
I shook his hand, “Well, it's been a pleasure.”
As soon as I shook his hand, alarm bells went through me. I handed him my phone. “Call your mom!”
“Why?”
“Call her. Whatever you do, tell her not to answer the door tonight and tell her to stay in her bedroom. Someone's going to try breaking in.”
Rob said, “Call her, he's not wrong about these things.”
He took my phone and dialed. “Mom? Yeah, I'm calling because I just got told by someone to tell you whatever you do, don't answer the door tonight and to stay in your bedroom. He says someone's going to try to break in. I'm calling to tell you, but I'm calling Jerome and telling him to get over there.” He spoke briefly and then said, “I'm calling Jerome.”
He hung up and asked, “Can I use it to call my brother?”
“Sure”
He called and got his brother over there. When he hung up, he said, “Our neighborhood isn't so hot.”
“Why don't you think about asking her to move to our apartment building. It's guarded and nice. Our apartment is in it.”
“I'll do that.”
Rob said, “IT's thrown in. Don't worry about it.”
He smiled, “You know, I don't know how you did it, but if that's true, you sure helped.”
“Tell your brother to call you back on this number. That way, you'll know she's safe.”
“Ok, can I use your phone again?”
He used the phone and I turned to Rob. “We need to get our players phones. You might send him one also.”
“You'd think they'd have them?”
“A lot of people don't realize the usefulness of them.”
He hung up and said, “I'll stick close so the phone call won't disturb you guys.”
“Don't worry. I'd rather know she's safe. My grandma was killed by people who invaded our home.”
“Oh man!”
Rob said, “Hon, let's go back over there.”
“Ok” I turned to the guy and said, “It was nice meeting you. When we're seated, I'll be sure to slip you my phone so when the call comes, you've got it.”
Before the concert started, we were taken to a small area off to the side of the stage. We were told we'd be ushered up on stage when we would be introduced.
The concert began with a huge blast of fireworks. It was impressive and then, the singing and dancing began. Each number was a huge production of stage changes and costume changes.
When the time came, the stage got dim and we were ushered up. Wend came out and said, “I'd like to sing a song. It's about winning and it's about your Akron Angels. Tonight, we've got some of your new Angels here. Over here, we've got Jake Martin and Rob Musselman. They're your new team owners, quarterback, center, and they also happen to be lovers. .
Over here, we've got DJ Carter and Aaron Rogers. They're also lovers. And over here, we've got Chris Powers and Kit Blackston.
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR THE AKRON ANGELS!”
Everyone gave a huge roar of applause and cheering.
Wend said, “Guys, we've got a Tampa Bay guy here tonight who was thoughtful enough to accept our invitation. Let's give it up for Brad Jennings!”
A lot of applause came out and a whole lot of boos. I said, “Wend, can I see the mic?”
“Sure.”
“Hi guys, My name is Jake. I'm your quarterback and leading half of the Jake and Bake offense. Earlier tonight, we met 'the Boys' and one thing you need to know is they're absolutely the nicest bunch of guys outside of our team. As a token of appreciation, they were given jerseys and made honorary Angels.
Now, because I know this will get cheers, I'd like to have you wait because I want to do something which will show you where are hearts are.” I paused and went across the stage. “Brad Jennings and us met earlier. He's a great guy and I'd like to extend the invitation for him to be an honorary Angel. I can only assume the laughter is because he's misguided and thinks Tampa is his home. Let him know his heart is in Akron and that's where his home should be. Brad, Welcome to Akron!”
Everyone gave a huge cheer and 'the Boys' all came out in their jerseys. The place exploded in cheers when they started singing.
Rob came over and said, “Brad, we're sorry if that embarrassed you.”
“No, I feel good.” He said smiling.
Rob turned and said, “Babe, let's dance.”
“Sure”
We started dancing up on the edge of th stage and when the song was over, Chad came over, he spoke into his microphone. “Guys, I'd like to mention something. In all of our travels, we introduce a lot of celebrities, sports celebrities, and personalities. Occasionally, we have a situation where it's a bit uncomfortable like tonight where someone gets booed. Never have we had someone ask for the microphone and make it so the crowd cheers the person. I appreciate it. I appreciate the warmth, honesty, caring, and I appreciate you guys being yourselves in front of your fans.”
Everyone gave huge roaring cheers as we went back to our seat.
About three more songs and my phone buzzed/vibrated. I hit talk and handed it to Brad. He spoke and a huge smile went on his face. He gave a thumbs up and spoke a bit more. When he hung up, he said, “They tried and my brother was there. Thanks guys!”
Rob patted my leg and said, “Great. I'm glad that worked out.”
When the concert ended, we were taken back stage and introduced to a lot of people. Some were local dignitaries and a lot were contest winners from local radio stations. We felt fortunate because a lot of radio personalities requested interviews. I made appointments and agreed to have interviews tomorrow morning so they were pre-taped. Rob told them we had a booth to do those things and asked thm to be our guests at the stadium in the press box. A lot of people instantly accepted and a few were really blown away because the opportunity hadn't ever been extended to them.
On the way out of the VIP section, we were each given a set of CD's and five t-shirts of 'the Boys'. We were also each given a packet of the photos which were taken. I looked over at Rob and he nodded. He went over to their publicist and spoke. Before long, he was back over and we were ready to leave.
Back inside the limo, I said, “Chris, now you guys can go back to school and be really popular.”
“Yeah! Look, they're autographed!” He held up the t-shirts and said, “Man, they got our sizes down too!”
I asked Rob, “What'd she say?”
“She isn't giving up the gig, but she said someone whom taught her all she knows about the job is recently available. I've got her name, number, and salary.”
“Decent?”
“Way affordable.”
“How much?”
“Half a million a year.”
“Giver her twice that and a place to live to get her. She'll make us that much money with goodwill.”
“I was thinking along the same lines.”
We held hands and sank back into the seat. Soon, we were at the stadium.
Back at the stadium, we went in and then went out onto the field. My cell phone rang and I answered it. “Hello?”
“Oh, I must have the wrong number. I was calling for my brother.”
“Brad?”
“Yeah. This is Jerome Jennings. I wanted to tell him he's loved and mom said she wishes him a good day tomorrow.”
“Where are you guys located?”
“Outside Mobile, Alabama.”
“Would you guys like to watch him play tomorrow?”
“Well yeah, but there's never enough money for that.”
“How about I send you down a plane so you can come up?”
“Not tonight.”
“Ok, in the morning. It can fly you up and then, you can see him play.”
“That'd be wonderful!”
“And Jerome?”
“Yeah.”
“I'm glad your mom's fine.”
“Me too. I don't know how that happened, but the police said the guy was intent on killing someone. He kept saying he was going to hold her for ransom and when it got paid, he was going to kill her.”
“Oh man!”
“Yeah, so you tell him I'm sure glad he called.”
“No problem. I'll give you a call so you can expect when the plane will arrive.”
“About what time, do you know?”
“In the morning early. I want him to know you guys are up here before the game.”
“He'll not like it.”
“Why not?”
“He'll say we spent too much money.”
“Nah, just tell him I flew you up. He needs to know he's got friends now who are going to treat him like family and his family like family.”
“Good, he'll like that.”
I said, “Well, I'll call you in the morning.”
“Thanks!”
“No! Thank you for being his family. He's a great guy.”
I hung up and said, “Rob, one second, I got to call the pilots.”
I called the pilots and told them we needed them to fly to Mobile in the morning. Afterwards, I hung up to find Grant standing there.
“Hey! I see you made it!”
“That plane is wonderful!”
“It's nice, isn't it?”
“Yeah, can I have a hug?”
“Sure”
I went over and hugged him. When I pulled back, I asked, “Are you ok?””
“Sure, just a little melancholy.”
“Over what?”
“Seeing the stadium and realizing hopes and dreams lost.”
“Lost?! Grant Oberling, look at your life and you see if you've got anything to be sad about. You're coaching this team and it's a position which is made for you. No, you're not quarterbacking it, but you're a sure sight closer to the dream than you were.”
“You're not understanding.”
“Ok, let's go for a walk and you tell me.”
We went out the front and he said, “Jake, do you realize why I threw everything into football?”
“No”
“Because your dad left me. I can't say it any plainer than that. He left and I threw my all into playing. I was good, so it helped, but I wanted to have it take me just as far away from him and the memories as it could take me. Then, when he died, it set about dominoes falling which made me have to get out of the sport.
Now, you're in my life and together, we made it so I'm closer to my dream and I've got you and I've got love. No, it's not how I wanted, but it's going to be good.”
“What about that kid? Did he come?”
“No, but I did get some Spartans here.”
“Why no one from Hannibal?”
“Their coach. He said I was a child molester, so he called all his players families and told them not to come.”
“Hang on.”
I pulled out my phone and called Dan. “Dan?”
“Yeah.”
“Where ya at?”
“Up above you about four stories.”
“I need you to make a phone call. Do what you can to get something done with Hannibal's coach. He just denied his players the experience of playing for our team because he said Grant is a child molester.”
“Ummm, I'll make a call, but you really ought to call Superintendant Wilson and ask her to make a formal complaint to their school's administration. Then, you need to file a defamation of character suit on the man yourself...not Grant, but you. That'd use your weight and your clout.”
“Ok, thanks for the advice. I'm calling New Orleans.”
“Hold up a moment! I didn't say I wouldn't.”
“It doesn't matter. You're failing to realize one thing. If the man disappears, there's nothing to sue. IF the least he has done to him is broken arms, legs, and a jaw, then ...hold up....forget it...I'll can the man my own way.”
“What's on your mind?”
“Tomorrow, the national media is going to be here to interview me. I'll kindly say as owner of the Angels, we offered more high school players the opportunities to play, but their child molesting coach stopped them from playing. IF the man wants to lay the word out, he better be able to take it.”
“If you do that, they'll want to know who it is.”
“I'll tell them it doesn't matter, but the players and the coach know and when they find out the offer to play was real, they're going to be sick. I'll get off here now.”
“You still want him hurt?”
“Yeah, right after he sees what I just did to him on national television.”
I rung off and Grant stood there smiling, “You're terrible!”
“Hey, I'll come out swinging for you. Now, what are we working with and how are we going to be?”
“It's going to be a damned tough game. Had I had all of the Spartan team here, and had I had all the Angels, we'd be great.”
“You've got all of the Angels here...all that's left.”
“Don't get your knickers in a knot, I think you could've left me some good people.”
“Man, I'll start our team meeting off by apologizing for your words and tell everyone we're not good!”
“You know what I mean.”
“Be thankful for what you got. It sure as hell beats nothing.”
“Ok, why are we out here yelling at each other?”
“You see those buildings over there?”
“Yeah.”
“I own them. You see that tall white skyscraper there?”
“Yeah.”
“That's my mansion.”
“Huh?”
“It's called 'the Mansion' because the dumb owner tore the mansion down to build that and didn't check to see if he could do it in the first place. He couldn't, so it's his mansion. I got it, so now you know the story.”
“IS it nice?”
“Don't know, I've not made it that far yet.”
“What are you going to do with a bunch of honky tonks?”
“They're getting thirty days notice on their lease and being told to get gone. When they're gone, we're taking the fixtures and moving them to Moberly for that speakeasy. Then, we're gutting those places out and making individual stores for merchandising us players.”
“That's a good idea.”
“All along that sidewalk over there is going to be black wrought iron fencing. We're going to have gates down there and when we're not playing, this place is shut. Up here, we're going to have tent things which are for people who tailgate. We'll have barbeque grills up here and it'll be nice.
Over there, the fencing goes along the sidewalk. IF you notice, fans can get to the employee entrance. I don't like that, so it's changing.
Behind us, those trees and bushes are all getting pruned. I want them to look like footballs, Angels, us player's numbers, and a player throwing a ball.”
“That's a nice idea.”
“Next spring, this place gets painted.”
“It's brick!”
“Yeah, and it looks like hell. So, we'll update the look and go with some paint. It'll look good.”
“Really?”
“Grant, think about this...what would you do with a player who was so-so?”
“Train him and hope for the best.”
“Well, this stadium is so-so. So, I'm going to paint it to look like the best. I figure it's brick is the wrong color, but I'll paint the brick to look like brick of a different color and throw in come accent colors so it looks way more modern than what it is.”
“It'll cost a lot.”
“It'll be a lot less than the cost of rebuilding this place.”
“What do you think of the place overall?”
“It's a dump. Whoever said it was worth three hundred million didn't ask me what I'd pay.”
“OK, why do you think that?”
“The giant horseshoe pattern of it sucks. They should've just spent the extra money and made it a big donut. It would've been easier to get around the place.”
“How much to finish making it what you want?”
“I don't know.”
“Anything else wrong?”
“Yeah, throw out cheese crumbles. If a football is eating cheese, don't pick it up because it's a rat.”
“That bad?”
“Let's go up to the office. From my office, you'll see the rafters and see them real close up there. We were on the phone earlier and Rob pointed up. I looked and there sat several rats on the rafters.”
“Man!”
“Yeah, so pray no one has one fall on them and if they fall, hope it falls on the Tampa team and they don't sue.”
“You're terrible.”
“Here's another thing. However tempted you are, don't eat the food here. Dan said he went into the kitchen and it smelled like rat piss in there.”
“You can't feed people that food.”
“Tomorrow, it gets shut down after the game. Until then, I gotta hope no one dies.”
“That's gross.”
“Well, I'm not throwing out tons of hot dogs and other stuff. Who knows, it might be nutritious!”
“Ok, let's switch the subject. I feel ill.”
“Ok, what do you know about Brad Jennings from Tampa?”
“Good player.”
“OK, is he worth six million?”
“Yeah, it's probably a million more than what he's making now, why?”
“His contract comes up in February and I'm getting him.”
“How do you know?”
“We saw him at a concert tonight and talked with him.”
“You didn't speak to his manager?”
“No.”
“That's not how you do it!”
“I know, that's what he said. Just the same, I told him to get rid of all his people and sign with us. He said he would.”
“What else is he going to require?”
“He needs a cell phone and he needs us to get him a house.”
“You pay him a million more than he makes a year and you're giving him a house?”
“Yeah, we got a bunch of them. If you saw what those other player's contracts look like, you'd be amazed.”
“Like what?”
“Ok, it's what's NOT in the contract which is amazing. Let's say I give you a twenty five million dollar contract. Now, you've got a manager, publicist, etc...etc...etc...which all want ten percent down. Ok, so you're already at seventeen and a half before taxes. Taxes take a little over a third, so wham, you got another six million off that. Now, you're at eleven...sounds like a lot, right?”
“Yeah, but no.”
“Right. You gotta divide that over the five years which means perfect playing for five years. If you get accidentally disabled, or whatever, you're not playing and only drawing maybe thirty grand a year. Some contracts don't even give you that!
Well, what this company does is we'll go sign you up for that fifteen million dollar house you just had to have. We'll also sign you up for that sixty thousand dollar Mercedes, and heck, we'll also get you that Lincoln which runs forty seven. Now, you're making a lot of payments out of that two million a year, but you still should make it, right?”
“Yeah, but no.”
“Right, so, what we do is we co-sign those loans. That means if you're a low down no count bum who can't or won't make your bills, I'm going to pay for your house, your cars, and even in this case, your food. The only thing I'm not paying for is your toilet paper.
So, you're playing and you're not paying bills and you're living the life of a big star and wham, I come on the scene. That would be fine HAD you came to your meeting and practice. You didn't, so I'm suspending you because it IS in your contract to be here...no excuses, rain, shine, snow, or whatever.”
“You suspended them?”
“I fired them. These fuckers had nerve to tell me I wasn't paying them, so they weren't showing!”
“Oh man!”
“Yeah, so I suspended them for not showing out at the airport when they were told and then, I fired them for not showing to the meeting. I'm repossessing the houses, cars, necklaces off their necks, phones, credit cards, and whatever.”
“Oh man.”
“Yeah, so the odds makers out in Vegas hear this. They find out and suddenly the odds are like eighteen to one we're going to lose.
I'm willing to drop a hundred grand, but then I find out if you get specific, they up the odds. Well, I tell them a lot of stuff I see and they give me odds of five hundred to one, so I drop a million on the game.”
“You didn't!”
“Yeah, I did!”
“Jake, you'll get us thrown out of the league!”
“Grant, first of all, you gotta get caught. Second of all, that bookie took a bet like that from a teenager. Third, he bet beside me the same exact thing.”
“You're going to get yourself killed.”
“Nope, I trust him.”
“Jake, let me tell you something. They're good about taking your money, but they're not real good about paying you that much.”
“IF we win 42-6 and I throw for more yards than ever and rush for seventy eight yards, and if....IF....DJ, Chris, and Rob all get touchdowns, and IF DJ gets a black eye and I get a bruised leg, then I get half a billion dollars and the team's paid for.”
“And every fed in the nation is all over you.”
“Nah, he's reputable.”
“How do you know?”
“Dan bets with him.”
“Oh man! I can't believe this!”
“Grant, don't have a cow man! We're going to win! I saw it all!”
“You're not supposed to bet on that stuff!”
“Yeah, but I told Rob and we apologized for that, but that's what I did.”
“What happens if you lose?”
“I take a million and go out to Vegas. Jimmy the Greek and I meet and I pay him. That's that. He said he'll bet beside me, but he's never gonna bet beside me again if I lose this one.”
“I don't blame him. You'll probably both be dead!”
“Nah, they only kill you if you don't pay. I'll pay.”
He looked at me and shook his head. “Jake, you've done a lot of things which are way out there but this one tops the cake.”
“What's it to you? It's my money and if I win, the team's paid off. If I lose, then what? I'm out a million bucks? Hey, I'm fronting loans on houses and paying the things off so the way I see it, I'll break even on this mess.”
“You're half a billion in debt!”
“The team cost three hundred and twenty five million. All those houses put me up another hundred million and then, take a look around you, all this I want done is going to cost a lot. Furthermore, players don't come cheap and I gotta go buy some someplace.”
“You gotta hobble through until next year. You had your quota for this year.”
“Ok, I'll make it. Just stand by me and manage this without getting too many of us hurt.”
“You think it's all so easy. Do you realize you'll probably lose two in the game tomorrow?”
“Nah, just DJ with that awesome shiner he's gonna get.”
“And probably massive brain trauma he's not going to report.”
“Grant, I love ya, but you gotta have some faith.”
“Any other good news you gotta tell me?”
“Yeah, I forgot to count the cost of those jets into things. That's another hundred million.”
“Jake, are you going to slow down?”
“Yeah, unless another team comes up for sale.”
“You can only have one.”
“Yeah, and Chris can have one and you can have one and look at your little investment group. They can have some and soon, we'll just be playing amongst ourselves and everyone's making money.”
“It's not that simple. You can't do that.”
“Probably not. They'd want me to play on their team and run bets for them and I told Rob I wouldn't do it anymore.”
“Thank God for small favors!”
“Dude, did you hear about that new medicine called Prozac?”
“No.”
“It makes you not have panic problems.”
“I didn't have them until you came into my life!”
“So, it's a rather sudden thing. You need to see a doctor.”
He looked at me and just busted out laughing. He looked around and said, “This has all been a joke. You flew in my dad and someplace, he's around here laughing his butt off, right?”
“No, but I wish you'd brought him. I really missed him yesterday.”
“I know you did. It really bothered you.”
“Yeah, but I'll tell you what, Grant, from now on, that's not happening. If it does, I'll send a jet out there and have them come here. We can eat breakfast and I can do my interviews and whatever.”
“How many of them have you had?”
“Local media today. There were about eight of them here. There was a real nice woman and then a bunch of others. Tomorrow, I've got a lot of national media and local television media. Papers gotta be in there somewhere, but so far, it's went real well.”
“You sharing credit with the team?”
“Yeah, I'm trying to give them the tri-tone spiel.
First, I've gotta be an owner and second, I've gotta be a quarterback, and then, I've gotta pass it along to the other team members. It's been great because Rob's been there for the first part and I've thrown the ball and ran for them and then, Chris and DJ and Nick and Bake were all there.
I introduced Bake and we got the Jake and Bake offense thing started. I even cracked the joke about Angel flavored, so it'd not seem like Saturday Night Live was coming up with it.”
“I'm surprised you're going about that good.”
“Rob and I had a talk. He explained to me about being able to laugh at myself and play things off as a joke. I'll do it because it gets us a lot of free press.”
“He's right.'
“So, I'll be their clown up to a point and I'll be their little sexy boy up to a point and I'll do what I gotta to get them on our side.”
“What's up with the sexy boy thing?”
“They wanted us with our shirts off. Chris took his off and had his wife beater on and Rob lifted his, but I took mine off as did a slow strip while doing it. Then, I turned around and gave them a butt shot in my jeans.”
“Ok, so they're going to try doing something with you as a hunk.”
“Probably. IF it sells tickets, great. If not, then I sure hope it sells merchandise.”
“You gotta get yourself a poster up there with your shirt off. Tomorrow, it might be a bit cool for you to show yourself with your shirt off.”
“How and when?”
“Ok, when you first come out. Normally, you do the flips down the field. How about you do that with your shirt off and have your pads off to the side.”
“Ok”
“Then, have Rob help you put your pads on. Have him do it slow and sensual with adoring looks into your eyes.”
“Why?”
“I'm a child molester who was out after you. IF you're showing the world you and he are a couple, it gets me off the hook.”
“Ok, I'll do that. You just remember I do you all sorts of favors and you treat me like shit.”
“Jake, I've got all my deeds coming into Mike's office tomorrow. That Chevy dealer is yours.”
“Ok, how do I go about changing the name?”
“Why?”
“I want an Angel Chevrolet. I'd really like one out here, but if I've got it there, then I can order our cars from there just as well as here.”
“Ok, it's yours, but it sort of messes Jack out of it.”
“Jack didn't care. He hasn't cared. He's great about it and if you'd asked him, he's been fine with me owning it since we made the deal in front of him.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Do you wanna ask him?”
“No, we'll talk sometime. I just don't want his feelings hurt.”
“Jacks about to get the biggest endorsement and best sales for most any Chevy dealer...you just wait.”
“I noticed Rob is wearing Jared's numbers.”
“Yeah, DJ about had a cow, but now he believes.”
“What's with this 'had a cow' phrase you're using?”
“The Simpsons” It's a show on t.v.”
“I think I've heard of it.”
“The kid is way cool. I wish I could skateboard like him.”
“Well, don't be killing yourself until the beginning of next season. Right now, we don't have a back up for you.”
“What caused you to strike out with him?”
“I'm not sure. I got there and it was like his parents were scared of their shadows. Yeah, I know he was nearly killed, but they side up with the guy who probably ordered that and seem to not really want to give me a listen.”
“Well, send Sap and Jimmy Johnson over. They'll have him pimped and fucked over before you can blink.”
“You still gotta make statements on them.”
“They know where I am. I'll make a statement when I'm back there. Until then, I gotta get this team whipped up into shape.”
“Let's go back in. I wanna get the guys acclimated to the stadium.”
“Can I do it and you not think I'm trying to kill them?”
“Doing what?”
“There's a ride which is real cool. It's scary, but once you've been up there, you realize this place isn't all that big. It looks big, but it's an illusion.”
“It's big.”
“Come on, I'll show you and then we'll show them.”
“Ok”
We went up to the little door. When we went through, he said, “Oh man! This is too high.”
“Look down there. It's not that far.”
“It's got to be seventy feet.”
“Maybe, but watch this.”
“What's that thing.”
“It's a little cart. See, when I get on, it'll take me down there.”
“What's it for?”
“When the dome opens, it might get stuck. The maintenance guy goes out on this and sees where it got stuck. He rides this thing out there. When the dome is open, the slack is tight, so it stays up near the ceiling. When it's shut, those cables go slack and you can ride it down to the AstroTurf.”
“You're going to ride that thing?”
“Yeah, watch. Now, you see that button up on that box there?”
“Yeah.”
“Push it when I get down there and it'll pull it back up. Then you can get on. All you do is creep out and as the slack makes it go lower, it picks up speed...soon, gravity takes effect and you slide down.”
“I don't like this.”
“It's cool.”
I crept out and then it went down. I went down and got to the turf. I got off and he pushed the button. Several of the Spartan guys came over and asked what it was. I told them and they all wanted to try it but remarked about how high it was.
Grant got on it and the guys said, 'Look at coach! He's actually doing it!”
Grant slid down and the whole time, his eyes looked like saucers. He had a death hold onto the handle and when he got to the turf, he got off. I said, “Now look up there and see how far it looks.”
He looked up and I said, “Looks a lot further up than it does down, don't it?”
“Oh man, it does!”
“See, it's an optical illusion. From down here, it makes you look like a daredevil but from up there, it doesn't look far at all.”
He clapped his hands and said, “Guys, come on with me, we're going to do this.”
He turned and smiled. “Thanks. It's going to get them over how big this place seems.”
“No problem.”
They all went up and Chris came over. “You know you're an idiot, right?”
“Yeah, but if it has them thinking they can do anything, it'll have them knowing this field isn't any bigger than the one at home and this building is just a fancy covering for that field at home.”
“You're right, but that thing up there is just scary.”
“The first time is but after that, it's nothing but fun.”
“Just pray one of those rats don't decide to ride along.”
“You gonna try?”
“No.”
“Ok, but you don't know what you're missing.”
“I know what I'd be missing if I didn't get to to be with her the rest of my life.”
“You will. Just play your cards right.”
“You know your advice is messed up but it works.”
“The look on your face if I asked her what she was, was priceless. Then, when she asked you, I know you were screaming inside you don't do wood!”
“I was, but then I saw the symbolism in it and it made she and I closer.”
“She handling things good?”
“Yeah, her parents and she have talked. I think Grant offering to have them ride out was good.”
“It's nothing but a big overnight field trip. If they don't understand that, then they'll never get rid of her.”
“I'm going to get her a pre-engagement ring.”
“Good. Do you need a loan?”
“No, I'll get it.”
“Does it have to be a diamond?”
“No, I don't think so.”
“Let me give you a ring from grandma. She'd love you having it and knowing you were that serious about a girl.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, she loved you like a grandson, so I know she'd approve.”
“You don't have to do this if you don't want.”
“I want to do it. I love you dude.”
“I love you too.”
He looked at me and said, “Jake, do you realize that's the first time I think we've said that to each other?”
“Yeah, but I mean it. You're like my brother and your parents are like mine and you know grandma loved you like one of hers, so that's cool.”
“You're not going to get weird on me now, are you?”
“No, if it wasn't Rob, I know who'd it be, but he's got someone.”
“Huh?”
“You didn't see all the eyes and attention he was giving me tonight?”
“Who?”
“That Chad.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, but that's cool. I sorta really dig him in a way. He's got someone and I got Rob, so that's fine, but we'd rip some sheets off if we didn't have them.”
“Don't tell me that stuff.”
“Now, you know you'd do it if you had the chance.”
“With that guy? No dude, that's your territory.”
“I didn't mean that. I meant with Kit.”
“No, it might get that way, but I actually think about making slow love with her.”
“Oh man, save that stuff for like when you're eighty. Do the woodpecker thing on her and let her know she's been made love to.”
“Not happening. You do the woodpecker thing on Rob and let him know you did it.”
I smiled, “Not tonight. We'll be out on the fifty yard line.”
“Jake, you really think we can win?”
“I know we'll win. You'll get a touchdown as will Rob and Bake.”
“Really?”
“The score is going to be 42 to 6. I'll have thrown for more yards than ever and I'll have rushed for something like 78 yards. DJ over there will have a helluva shiner and I'll have a sore bruised leg.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I bet a million on the game today and when I win, it'll pay for the team.”
“You didn't!”
“Yeah, I did!”
“Dude, you're crazy! That's illegal as hell, haven't you heard of Pete Rose?”
“Pete Rose didn't bet on football! Damn, you're dumb!”
“You can't bet on a game you're playing in.”
“You can't play on a team you bet against. He bet against his team. I'm betting we'll win.”
“Who'd you bet with?”
“A guy named Jimmy the Greek out in Vegas.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, he's a big time bookie or something.”
“Damn dude, if you lose, they're going to kill you!”
“I'm NOT going to lose. You keep forgetting that part. How are they going to win with that low of score?”
“Dude, I hope you're right.”
“I know I'm right. Now step out of the way because one's coming down.”
We stepped back and the sled came in. The guy hopped off and got up. He looked up and said, “Man, that was intense!”
“But don't it look a lot further up than it does down?”
“Yeah.”
“Well think of this and you'll understand it. This field is the same size as the one back home. The only thing different is this big building over it. If you realize this building seems big, but it's not really that big, then we'll win tomorrow.”
“You're right!”
“Yeah, so now the only thing you gotta get used to is this AstroTurf.”
“What about it?”
“No cleats and it's slicker than real grass. BUT, you remember this game you play tomorrow because when we play the state finals, you'll have the advantage of having played on it where most of the other teams haven't.”
He smiled, “Oh man, you're making it seem like we're really going to state!”
“We are! So, just realize when you play tomorrow, you're playing against pros. The only difference between them and the plowboys back home is the fancier paychecks they make. That's it. They hit just as hard and they run just as fast, so just realize you're now in the pros.”
“I am, aren't I!”
“Yeah!” I said slapping his shoulder. “And guess what?”
“What?”
“Tomorrow, we're going to beat Tampa Bay's ass!”
“You think so?”
“They got one good player and they think just because they're playing high school kids they can slip in their lesser players than normal. What you'll notice is they'll see us get the first touchdown and realize we're seriously good. By then, we'll have the momentum.”
“Oh man!”
“Yeah, now you want to know something you can psyche them fuckers with?”
“What?”
“You tell them while they're up here, their old lady is down there in the sun fucking her bodyguard thinking of ways to take that ten million dollar mansion. He'll be so twisted in his head, he won't have a way of getting it out. He sure can't tell you your old lady has a body guard and thinking about tricking you out of your mansion yet.”
He smiled real big. “Oh man!”
“Yeah, then when you get to the third quarter. You lift your shirt and show him bandaids on your nipples. Then you tell him the jersey does that when it's cold but Tampa probably wouldn't do that to them.”
“What's that do?”
“It gets his head thinking about every ache and pain in his bones. He starts thinking it's due to it being colder up here and suddenly, he's moving slower. By then, it's the third quarter and of course he's moving slower, so he'll think that's why.”
“You're right!”
“Yeah, but towards the last five minutes of the game, you tell the dumb ass you bet his bodyguard has his old lady's nipples that sore about now and he'll go offsides trying to hit you. We'll get a penalty and it'll totally mess up anything they've got.”
He laughed, “Oh man, I'm going to so get into that guy's head.”
“Yeah, but just be careful because if you're up against a guy named Brad, don't show him your nipples and tell him that stuff.”
“Why not?”
“He's gay. He doesn't have a girl in Tampa and the bodyguard sure isn't fucking her and he sure don't have a mansion there. It's in Mobile and it's called his mama's house.”
“What do you have for him?”
“He's the best player they've got. I've already got him agreeing to sign for next season. Do you think he's going to try sacking me when I'm going to give him a million more than what he's making now?”
“You're sly.”
Chris said, “Man, you're so full of shit, it's terrible. You told him that?”
“Yeah! It worked, so sue me!”
“You actually did that. I can't believe you!”
“It's true though. Next season, he's coming over to us.”
“Cool. I like the guy.”
“He's nice, isn't he?”
“Yeah. If all of the pros are like him, it's not like I imagined it. He's just like an older brother.”
“True, and with the exception of having some really big bills, and incomes barely making those bills, that's all they are is older versions of us.”
Another guy came down the line. He let out a scream as he built up speed and by the time he got to the turf, he had his eyes shut and really was letting his voice dump out his toe nails. He stopped and got off. He fell down on his knees and said, “Oh God! Oh God!, That was scary!”
“Guy, it's not so bad!”
“Not bad! Man, I'm afraid of heights!”
“Oh, well, don't look up there then because...”
He passed smooth out. Chris and I caught him and I said, “Man, Chris, how do we explain this. Each time that guy thinks about looking up there, he's going to pass out.”
We carried/drug him over and lay him down. Those of us down there chuckled and Chris said, “I can't understand them getting all that into debt.”
“It's all about thinking they've got to live the life. They think they've got to have the fancy house with the fancy car and all the fancy things.
Heck, you see what I bought back home and to me, that's fancy enough. It's plenty big enough and it sure didn't cost a million.”
“No, and it's right down the street from Kit.”
“Yeah, and it's an amazing house. Just remember that when you guys get to making the fancy money and you'll be fine.”
The guy said, “Will I make that much money?”
“Yeah, if you stay. If not, then you won't. Tomorrow's game is probably going to make you more than what your dad makes in a year.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, where's he work?”
“Fabcon.”
“In the shop?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, so you'll make about what he makes in three years.”
“Really?!”
I said, “Chris, each guy's making thirty five grand tomorrow. Right?”
“That's what Rob said.”
“Oh man!”
“Yeah, so think about it fella. We've got forty games in a season. You're making that and it's not taxed.
You want a Lincoln, it'll take you two games to make that much. If you want a fancy house in Moberly, it'll take six games. BUT, if you want a fancy ten million dollar house, it'll take you two years to make that much.
To me, it'd make sense to buy that fancy house in Moberly and a Lincoln and put all the rest in the bank. Right?”
“Oh man! I could have it so I wouldn't have to work in a factory.”
“Guy, play with us and I'll get you a scholarship to college if you don't stay with us until you retire. You'll be whatever you want to be.”
He got a far away look in his eyes and said, “I could be a Dentist.”
“Yeah, Chris thought about being a Dentist when he was in the sixth grade. Then he stopped wanting to drill and fill in their mouths and went to their tits.”
Chris smiled, “You're terrible!”
The guy smirked, “That was funny.”
“Don't lay your tool on a girl's tits when you're a Dentist. It might drill a milk well or something.”
He laughed and Chris said, “Jake, shut that shit up! He'll tell Kit and I'll have to be in the dog house.”
“Why?”
“He's Kit's cousin!”
“Oh, so you're going to be Chris' cousin in law, huh?”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, Chris is over here talking about pre-engagements and all that. How do you think her mom and dad are going to take to him?”
“They'll like him.”
“I hope so, he really likes her. He's actually talking about slow sex and the last time I heard his talk about that was when he got his dick too sore from jacking.”
He laughed and Chris said, “Jake dammit!”
“I didn't mention anything about you making a mountain out of a mole hill, now did I?”
I turned to Kit's cousin and held out my hand. “What's your name Kit's cousin?”
“Matt.”
“Hi Matt, just hang with me. I'll get you the goods on your cousin in law. By the time I'm done, you'll really know all the details.”
Chris gave me the evil eye.
“Hang on Matt, Chris just gave me the evil eye. That means his feelings are hurt. Do you want to know what you do when his feelings are hurt?”
“What?”
I went over to Chris and licked my finger. I stuck it in his ear and said, “He hates that, but it sure gets the evil eye off you.”
I took off running and Chris chased me. I ran back and said, “See!”
Kit came over and I said, “Hi Kit, you didn't tell me we had our favorite little cousin on the team?”
She smiled, “Let me know when he gets here and I'll tell you.”
“Oooh, Matt, you going to let her say that?”
“She's nobody's favorite cousin either!” he said laughing.
She smiled at him and said, “You looked cool sliding down that slide Matt.”
“You oughta try it.”
“NO!” said Chris, “It's dangerous.”
“Chris, just tell her no mother of your future children is going to do it and get it over.”
“Shut up Jake!”
“Chris, all you gotta do is get on one knee and say, “Will you” followed by “Marry Me” and she'll tell you she's not a preacher and your hand already consummated everything.”
Kit started laughing and said, “Just wait Matt, that one was pretty good.”
Chris looked at me and I said, “I'm sorry Chris, I know you like her. I'll behave.”
“Thanks. It's a little too late.”
Kit came over and rested both hands on his shoulder. “You ok?”
“Yeah, Jake's just being Jake.”
I said, “Well, Chris is only Chris when he's...”
“Jake, shut up!”
“Oh...Ok Chris. Why don't you go over there and let Matt and I get acquainted. I'm sure he's got secrets to tell too.”
Kit said, “Matt, you don't say anything!”
“I'm not. Your checks still clear, right?”
He smiled and she glared at him.
“Matt, I'd say when their kids give us the evil eye, it's going to look like what they just gave us sort of mixed, right?”
“Yeah, sort of like a constipated billy goat.”
I laughed and Chris smiled. Kit said, “Matt, you really NEED to be quiet. I'm not the one making those weird noises in my bedroom.”
I said, “Kit, those weren't weird noises! Matt was just learning about how not to stick things in the Hoover!”
'
Chris busted out laughing and Matt's face turned red. Kit laughed and said, “Matt, welcome to the club. If Jake's joking about you, it means he likes you.”
Matt smiled and said, “Thanks Jake.”
“No problem little dude. Next time use Crisco.”
Chris started laughing and Matt said, “I didn't use the vacuum cleaner!”
“Ok, whatever you say. You just told us it was another appliance, but I was trying to get you out of it gracefully. Kit's curling iron and you are probably not going to see each other again.”
He started laughing and Kit said, “Jake, that's so wrong! I'll never be able to use it again!”
“You look lovely without it hon.”
She smiled, “Jake, you tell that to all the girls.”
“I do!”
Another guy came down the line and slid to a stop. He hopped off and said, “Man, that was cool!”
I said, “Chris, stand here and give the spiel about the field and the building and all that. I've got to go see if we're going to have something to sleep on out here.”
I walked off and Matt said, “Hey, wait up!”
“Come on lil' dude.”
“Where ya goin'?”
“I gotta call Jan. We're supposed to sleep here, but I don't know if we got anything to sleep on.”
“Why are we sleeping out here?”
“Well, you don't gotta, but I want it to be a thing all the new guys do with all the old guys on their first night here. It makes us stronger as a team and it gets us not to thinking this building is huge.”
“Why don't you want us thinking that?”
“Because right now, Matt, these stands are empty. Tomorrow, you'll see eighty thousand people in here and it'll be loud when they all cheer.
You'll hear that roar and you'll suddenly forget everything. If you think of it as a building and that's it, suddenly, those fans all roaring aren't going to matter to you when that guy is staring you down across the line.”
“Ok, now I get it.”
“You see, that roar is our cannon. When it's in their stadium, it's their cannon. They cheer for us and they don't cheer for them.
Next week, they'll be cheering for the other team because we'll be out on the road. We'll have to get the crowd over onto our side and that's pretty easy when we start playing better than their team.
They'll know we're all high school players and they'll all suddenly jump up for us and cheer.”
“Why?”
“It's us being the underdog. If a Yorkie fights a Great Dane, you expect the Yorkie to get the shit kicked out of it. When it suddenly is down under that Great Dane making it howl because it's got it by the nuts, then you're cheering for it because you know that little dog's got balls the size of boulders to even take on that fight.”
“I see what you mean.”
“To each and every team in this league, we're the Yorkie. We see them as the Great Dane and MOST people would think they're going to lose the fight. I'll tell you now, I'll be the teeth of that Yorkie any day because I know those teams all got a set of balls. I'll find it and when I do, they'll go down.”
“Who are we playing next week?”
“I don't know. All I know is tomorrow, we're playing Tampa. For all I know, next week might be Dallas or someone.”
“They're good.”
“And we're the Angels. We're just as good and you're just as good as one of their best players because I like you.”
“I like you too. You treat me like someone and not like a little brother or anything.”
“You're a friend.”