A work of fiction by Pagganos Homophilator. Pagganos may be reached at: paggan at aol dot com.
Pissa Lotta Beer
Chapter One: How to Be the Pi Lamb Goat
Denny had sort of always known that that frat was sometimes called "Pissa Lotta Beer". Before he even arrived on campus, back in some dimly remembered high school conversation, he had heard the name. But back then, of course, all it had meant was that the Pi Lambda Betas drank a lot, that they were college boys who could have as much beer as they wanted, free of the stifling controls imposed by high school and parents - it was only later that the full extent of that freedom became clear. On campus the frat, known simply as the "Pi Lambs", had a weird reputation. Not necessarily bad, just not anything they might have been expected to be: not jocks, not party animals, not rich kids.
One of Denny's hall mates was an awesomely good-looking kid named Joey O'Toole, and he and Denny hit it off really well right from the first hall meeting when they were both still raw and shivering freshmen looking up to their RA for everything. On the first Saturday night of freshmen year, Joey took him to a Pi Lamb smoker. Joey had an uncle who was a Pi Lamb, and the way he said "My Uncle Kevin is a Pi Lamb" made Denny think for the first time about how being in a frat, whatever other kind of weird club it might be, was for life. Joey's Uncle Kevin was Joey's favorite uncle, and so Joey himself had a specific interest in the Pi Lambs.
The Pi Lamb house, as they approached it that first time, was older than most, a tall brick Victorian pile in a quiet neighborhood near campus. The building itself fascinated Denny. He loved the airy, high-ceilinged rooms, the carved marble mantlepieces, the worn carpets and dark wooden floors. There was a vast double parlour, a big dining room and matching study on either side, and wide stairs rising up near the front door. The house just felt right to Denny somehow, comfortably domestic and distinctly impressive at the same time.
It turned out that Pi Lamb was actually most famous for the strictness of its house rules - no partying on week-nights, high academic requirements, never-ending rounds of required service activities - and the fact that no women were allowed inside the walls of the big old house except between luncheon and dinner, to which guests were always welcome. But even then women were only admitted to the big rooms downstairs. And there were apparently lots of weird rules governing house parties. As far as Denny could tell, if the Pi Lambs had any sort of clear public reputation, it was as a kind of old fashioned, goody-goody frat.
But Denny liked the guys at Pi Lamb. Despite the austere regs, the atmosphere was neither sanctimonious nor overly earnest - there was actually a casual nature to the house which intrigued him. The brothers seemed okay to Denny. And more - something about the house and its members drew him into their orbit. There was another smoker there the next Friday night and before his second week-end at college was over, Denny had resolved to pledge.
Joey had already decided he wanted to pledge Pi Lamb too. Things went well, and both of them got offers. Suddenly, a little unexpectedly, Denny was a pledge at this weird fraternity. He had never seen himself as a fratboy, had had no intention whatsoever of becoming one when he arrived at school. And yet there he was.
He and Joey started hanging around the PLB House. One thing about the strict visitation rules soon became apparent - all of the upstairs floors felt like a giant locker room. The brothers would dress and undress in their rooms with the doors wide open, or lie on top of their bedclothes reading or studying, wearing just their skivvies - or even less! The old fashioned building only had one large common bathroom on each floor, with stalls and a gang shower. Brothers would sashay down the halls bare-assed on their way to the shower room, usually wearing nothing more than a towel slung carelessly over one shoulder. The guy across the hall from Mark Adams, Denny's eventual big brother, occasionally even did chin-ups stark naked on a bar which he put up in his doorway - just casually, on his way to the showers before dinner.
Each time this happened, Denny sat on Mark's bed opposite the door and tried not to stare as the lean, well-knit boy hung from the bar, the muscles under his skin straining and bulging, his pecs exquisitely defined, his thighs swinging forward with effort, his fat cock and balls dangling and waving right at eye level. If the guy had been trying to present his crank for an easy and unavoidable inspection, he couldn't have done it any better. It was rather odd, sure, but it was done with so much blasé, no one made a big deal about it. Denny wasn't sure why he liked it so much, but he sure did.
His big brother Mark was a junior, a husky blond with bright, vacant blue eyes and a mean, toothy smile. He was rather indifferent to Denny, but at least he didn't badger him or try to make his life utterly miserable like Joey's big brother, Bill DeMarco, did to Joey. Mark went through the expected motions, held Denny to the letter of the regs concerning paddles and handshakes and all the other minutiae of pledging, but he never put much time or feeling into it. Denny felt like he was getting off easy, especially compared to Joey.
For DeMarco, on the other hand, delighted in threatening Joey with failure. Neither Denny nor Joey really knew that much about frats and pledging, so when Bill told Joey - at least once a week - that he was about to be booted out of the pledge class, they never knew how seriously to take it. Joey was a nervous wreck half the time, worried he would cast such shame on himself that his Uncle Kevin would never speak to him again! And whenever Joey was in trouble, Bill would grab the impressive box which bulged between his thighs and give it a good hard squeeze and say, rolling his eyes at Denny: "Ya' know, no matter how bad ya' fuck up, there's always one way for a pledge to make up anything to his big bro'!" Joey would turn white, his mind running through every salacious story he had ever heard about fraternity initiations, while Denny would turn as red as a beet, his mind thrilling to the same luridly carnal images.
Denny and Joey had even half way talked about those forbidding possibilities once, speculating as to what would actually happen when the dreaded Hell Nite finally arrived. As their pledge service progressed, there was so much smutty innuendo, so many references to fellatio and to packing the pledges, so much lip smacking and self-crotch grabbing on the part of the brothers, that Joey became convinced they would have to "do something", as he put it, before their ordeal was over. Denny wasn't so sure.
"I just don't know if it's worth it," said Joey. "I mean, what the fuck do they want from us, anyway? Do they really think they can make us, make us ... do something, ...uh... just make us do anything they want?"
"Shit, it's just a bunch of talk," replied Denny, "that's all it is. Just a buncha comedians, that's all. If they had anything dirty goin' on, doncha think everyone would be talkin' about it? Why would anyone pledge Pi Lamb if anything like that was goin' on, anyway?"
There was no way to tell, so they continued on through the semester, trailing their bats behind them and learning everything official there was to know about Pi Lamb. It was the unofficial things which they couldn't fathom, and which Denny wondered about much more than about how the national chapter was organized. He hung out as often as he felt welcome in Mark's room, hoping to see the guy across the hall work out on his bar, watching the parade of naked shower-goers, listening to all the talk about blow-jobs, cocksuckers, fudge packing, ass sucking, and assorted other much discussed but never observed eroticisms.
Mark's room-mate Jay was one of the most consistent "cocksucker" this and "buttfucker" that speakers, and seemed to work some kind of sexual reference into every single sentence that came out of his mouth. Jay was also invariably among the casually bare-assed shower-goers. Denny discovered that if he found himself present as Jay returned from the showers, his big brother's roommate would lounge about the room naked for a good fifteen or twenty minutes as he gradually got dressed. Denny could have sworn that Jay's cock was more than half hard a couple of times during these deliciously drawn out toilettes, doing more bobbing and twitching than dangling and swaying, and it was about the biggest dick Denny had ever seen. Moreover, it was uncut, the first complete cock Denny had ever really had a good look at.
He could hardly keep his eyes off of the fascinating organ and its fascinating little hood of skin whenever he and it were hanging out, so to speak, in Mark and Jay's room. Denny found himself wishing that he could see what Jay's gorgeous crankhead would look like if the delicate hood which covered it was drawn away, and he actually found out one afternoon. Jay returned from the shower with his cock sticking straight out at three-quarters of a full mast, a big, shapely, bright red knob protruding from the thick wrinkledy ruff at the end of his enormous member. There were big obvious gobs of cum all over his pubic hair, which he then made the center of attention by rubbing fruitlessly at the clustered spunk and hairs with his towel. So Denny wondered, but still he couldn't be sure...
The end of the semester arrived. Denny did okay in his exams; Joey did better. There was a big meeting of the pledge class during the last week of exams. It was the organizing session for the events leading up to Hell Nite, the pledges' plunge into the abyss from which they would emerge as full and eternally bonded brothers. At the last minute, Joey announced that he wasn't going to the meeting.
"Tell me what they say - I might get by later, but I've got to finish this paper by tomorrow or I'll have an incomplete. Bill already knows I can't make it."
Something was fishy. Joey wouldn't look Denny in the eye, and when Denny tried to remind him of Bill's likely reaction to such an obvious breach of pledge etiquette, Joey just shrugged and turned away looking uncomfortable but remaining silent. Denny tried to puzzle out what was going on as he ambled over to the House by himself.
As he walked into the meeting, the buzz of conversation stopped. It seemed as if every eye turned to watch his entrance, but when he looked around, none of the eyes would meet his straight on. With a funny sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Denny went to sit next to Mark. Mark, as usual, ignored him.
Brad, the President of the Chapter, stood up. He was a stunning blond, with a beautiful, wide open and perfectly tanned face, broad shoulders, narrow hips, long legs. He made a few announcements, and congratulated the class on their efforts to reach full brotherhood. He paused, and then he said, looking around at them all with his gorgeous green eyes and flawless smile:
"Now, every class has got to have its Goat, the pledge that's at the bottom of the heap. It's really up to a guy's big bro to keep him in line and help him avoid that fate. And ya know, if your big bro ain't behind ya', you're in trouble, no doubt about it."
The pledges shifted uneasily in their seats, looking at each other askance. It occurred to Denny that Joey and Bill De Marco could easily fit into such a category - maybe that's why Joey hadn't come to the meeting tonight! He glanced up at Mark, briefly, and the unfriendly look on his big brother's face made him suddenly think that he himself might be in that group as well. Maybe he should feel worried!
"All of the brothers of the Pledge Committee have met, and they added up everyone's merits and subtracted everyone's demerits, and his big brother was given a chance to defend him. And ... the Goat ... is ... Dennis Jamison Foreman."
Denny sat in shock, wondering if he was being kicked out of the pledge class. He was too embarrassed to look around him, so he squirmed in his seat and looked at the feet of the people nearest him. Mark's feet told him nothing. Denny finally put up his head and found himself looking right at Brad. Brad's handsome face was split by a wide grin and he stood looking back at Denny shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. The strained silence seemed to last forever, then erupted into giggles mixed with low chatter as the guys who were not the Goat relaxed and shifted in their seats. Everyone was looking at Denny and not even pretending not to.
Denny turned to Mark and asked, in a strained voice: "What's ... what's the Goat?"
Mark's eyes were hard slits and his smile was meaner than ever. He shrugged, and said, "Don't worry, you made the cut. You're gonna be a Pi Lamb, I guess. But first, you're gonna find out what a Pi Lamb Goat is!" And if possible, his grin grew even more evil.