Picking Up the Pieces of My Life

By JC Fanfic

Published on Jun 2, 2004

Gay

A Work of Fiction by JC Fan Fiction Nut Publications (c) Copyright 2004

Disclaimer: All Characters and situations of this story are fictional. Any similarities to actual living people and actual situations is purely coincidental. All fictional characters and fictional situations portrayed in this work of fiction remains the property of JC Fan Fiction Nut Publications. Republishing of this work of fiction is strictly forbidden unless permission as been given by JC Fan Fiction Nut Publications. Permission granted to Nifty Archives for the sole purpose of posting on the Boy Bands section of the Archives. Permission may be obtained by e-mailing JC Fan Fiction Nut Publications at JC_Fan_Fiction@yahoo.com

Comments are welcome too. Constructive Comments and advice are welcome. Honest opinions are welcome as well. And if you want to vent all over me as long it is good natured than feel free too do that to.

E-mail me at JC_Fan_Fiction@yahoo.com

Trial By Tears: Chapter 3

From Josh's point of view

Finally the funeral was over. Two days after the funeral and Don was still rushing around the house taking care of everyone but himself. Donny was being cared for, Justin and Brian was being cared for. Liz, Don's sister was being cared for. The last of the relatives were dropped off at the airport and were safely home. In fact everyone was taken care of with one exception. That one exception was Don. He was still on this ," I have to take care of everyone and everything before I can take care of myself." And quite frankly I have had enough. But the question was how was I going to make him realize that he had to take time to morn the passing of his mother.

"Josh?" Don's voice interupted my thoughts. I jerked my head up and looked up at him. His red rimmed eyes gazed down at me. I could see that he was so tired. My heart ached for him. I wanted to take him in my arms and make it all better for him. But I knew that wasn't going to happen yet. "When are you heading back?" Note, he said you heading back, not we. I frowned as I stood up and walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Don't you mean we?" I asked in a mildly scolding voice.

"I still have a lot of stuff that has to be done around here," Don said looking around the victorian style house. "The house goes on the market in a couple of days and I have to get it empty."

"Than I am not leaving until you are ready to come home," I said bluntly. He opened his mouth to argue but I wouldn't let him. "No Don," I said sternly. "I'm staying here and helping. You need me, and Donny needs me. Not to mention the fact that you shouldn't be doing this all alone. Like it or not you are stuck with me." I could tell that he was not happy about me hanging around. That disturbed me. We were supposed to be lovers and ready to handle anything.

"But your cd you just released," Don continued to argue with me.

"Fuck the cd!" I snapped at him. "I love you dammit! You need me right now!" Don nodded quietly and allowed me to hug him again but I could tell that his heart wasn't in it. Something wasn't right. Don was withdrawing from me. I had to stop him from withdrawing further but the problem was how was I going to do that?

"Ummm I have to meet with the realitor," Don mumbled.

"I'll stay here with Donny," I offered. He just nodded as he rushed out of the house. I heard the car start up and pull out of the drive way. I turned to see Justin standing there with a concerned look on his face. "I don't know how long he can go on like this."

"My advice to you is this," Justin said sadly. "Let him crash. Just make sure that he is in your arms when he does crash. I would love to stay and help but Brian has to get back to the studio and I have to get ready to start work on my next cd."

"Thanks for staying as long as you did," I said smiling softly. "Make sure you say good bye to Donny before going."

"Of course!" Justin said grinning. "I have to say see you later to my little buddy!" With that he turned and left the room leaving me alone in the large living room. I sat down in a stiff back arm chair and sighed. I heard someone walk in and saw that it was Danny.

"Is Don around?" he asked looking around.

"He just left to meet with the realitor," I replied. "I don't when to expect him back."

"I need him," Danny said sadly. For some reason that made me angry.

"Doesn't everyone!" I snapped. "Everyone needs Don everyone but himself. Tell me something Danny. Just how long do you think he can go on pretending that nothing is wrong and keep taking care of everyone but himself before he cracks?"

"And don't you think I have tried to get him to open up and let himself morn the death of mom?" Danny snapped right back at me.

"I don't know what the hell to think!" I snapped back. "All I know is this! Don is not letting anything out! He has turned into this really strange person that I don't even know and I don't know what to do about it!"

"You have to give him time," Danny said softly. "He was this way when Dad passed away. At some point he will crash and than he will mourn. You just have to be patient and let him do it on his own time."

"So I am supposed to just sit here and wait until he snaps?" I asked still upset. "I can't do that."

"If you try and force him to morn the death of mom he will resent you for it," Danny warned me. "Now if you will excuse me I have to catch the next plain back to Florida. Chris gets out of the hospital today and I have to pick up Trixy and Spot at the kennel tonight."

"Fine," I muttered. "Don and Donny and I will catch you later." I vaguely remembered hearing the door shut and soon I was alone in this huge old victorian style home. Well not actually alone. Donny was still here. Speaking of which I should go and find him. I found him in Don's old room playing with a model plane. I guess it was Don's when he was a teen ager.

"Hey," I said softly to Donny. He jerked his head up in a guilty expression. I guess he thought that maybe he shouldn't be here playing with Don's models. "Having fun?" Donny shrugged his shoulders and looked down. I sat down on the bed and patted it. Donny shuffled over to it and sat next to me. He still had the model plane in his hand. "How you doing buddy?"

"I miss her," Donny said with his little lips forming a small frown.

"I know you do Donny," I said as I wrapped my arm around his small shoulders. He snuggled closer to me. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shrugged his shoulders again. "Well I'm here if you need to talk about it."

"I don't like it when people die," Donny muttered. I smiled softly at him. "Well I don't!" he repeated with a frown on his face. "Nobody had better die anymore!"

"Well I hope that nobody dies anymore," I said softly kissing the top of his head. "But whether someone dies or not is up for us to decide."

"I know," Donny said in a small voice. "But I still don't like it!"

"I know you don't sweetie," I smiled down at his messed up hair. "So what do you want to do?"

"Where is daddy?" Donny asked loooking up at me with those incredible eyes of his.

"Your daddy had to go talk to a man about selling your grand ma's house," I replied. I heard the door slam and I jumped at the sudden sound. That meant only one thing. Don was home. "Your daddy is home." That was all I needed to say. Donny was out the door and running through the house looking for Don. I sighed and got up and followed the hyper four year old. I walked into the living room and spotted Don looking out the window. "Hey sexy," I said softly. "Did it go well at the realitors?"

"The house is already sold," he sighed.

"Really?" I asked. This was good news. That meant that nothing held us here anymore. We could go home. "Did you get what you wanted out of it?"

"More than what I was asking for it. Almost twice as much," he looked at me with an accusing look in his eyes. "I have to wonder."

"Wonder what?" I asked looking confused.

"Did you buy the house?" Don asked frowning.

"Why would I buy this house?" I asked really confused now. "I have enough property and I don't need any more."

"You would've bought to get me to come home with you," Don replied bluntly.

"The thought never crossed my mind. But it is a good idea now that you mentioned it," I replied with some anger in my voice. "But for your information I didn't buy this house. It is not my style and I don't need another house. Now why don't you tell me what is really wrong with you."

"Nothing is wrong with me!" Don snapped glaring at me.

"Fine," I muttered as I stood up and stomped out of the room. I was hoping beyond hope that he would call me back. But he didn't. He just started to pack. And that was the way it was for the next three days. He didn't talk to me much. Hell he didn't even talk to Donny much. He just kept real quiet and packed. I was so relieved when we boarded the plane and even more relieved when we walked back into our house. Trixy and Spot were jumping all over Donny and it was so good to hear Donny's giggles and the pups barks and whimpers. Don was still quiet but I could tell he was glad to be home.

"I'm ummm going to ummm go check in with Justin," Don stammered as he made a hasty retreat into his office. I shook my head and stomped off to my office too. I picked up my cell phone and quickly called Justin.

"Justin here," Justin's cheerful voice came over the phone.

"Hey Justin," I sighed.

"Hey," Justin replied. "You guys get back?"

"Yea we just got in," I replied. "Ummmm Don is getting ready to call you."

"If I know him he wants to get back to work," Justin sighed. "Well what do you want me to do?"

"Stall him!" I whispered loudly. "Justin he is not ready to go back to work. He is exhausted! He hasn't taken any time for himself. Not to mention the fact that he hasn't shed one tear for his mother!"

"Ok," Justin replied. "I'll stall him. I'm on my way over now. When I say go you take Don to a hotel and work on him."

"Work on him?" I yelped back confused as hell. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know something Josh?" Justin said with a sigh. "You can really dense some times. What it means is that you take Don to a really nice plush hotel and spoil him rotten and don't leave that hotel until he has started to come to grips with his mother's death."

"What about Donny?" I asked.

"I'll take care of Donny," Justin sighed again. "You just get ready to take Don to that hotel!"

From Danny's point of view.

"Hey," I said looking at Chris. Chris was out of the hospital now that all of his tests were done. I hated leaving him all alone but he insisted that I go to mom's funeral. He was sitting behind his desk at work and he looked so hot. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Chris replied. "You doing anything tonight?"

"Spending it with you I hope," I replied hopefully.

"Sounds really good," Chris replied with that really shy and sexy grin of his. "How was your mother's funeral?"

"It was nice," I replied feeling the tears start to flow again. Chris wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. "I thought I was done with this," I sniffled.

"No sweetie," Chris said softly as he kissed me lightly on the lips. "It's going to take some time. How is Don doing?"

"He is not morning mom's death yet. He is still in his "I have to help everyone" mood," I replied. "I'm starting to get worried about him."

"Is Josh with him?" Chris asked still holding me. I had to admit that it felt really good being held by him.

"Yea Josh is starting to get worried too. I'm worried that he is going to try something to get Don to cry for mom," I replied.

"Maybe that is what he needs," Chris replied. "When Dad died I didn't morn his death for almost a month. Than when I was in school one day it hit me. It was close to graduation and I realized that Dad wasn't going to be there. I lost it in government class. Thankfully the class was real understanding about it. I was a mess for the rest of the week."

"I whish I had known you back then," I said wistfully. "I hate the thought of you crying."

"Well it happens sweetie," Chris said with a small sad smile. "A lot more now."

"I know," I replied as I placed my fore head on his. "I want to make all of your pain go away." He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. I whimpered softly and allowed my self to be drawn in by his skillful lips. Finally after a few minutes of intense kissing we reluctantly broke away. It was the need for air. Damn the air! I wanted to stay attatched to him forever. He smiled shyly and looked down. "So you want to umm go home now?" I asked. I was really looking forward to spending the night with Chris. I wanted to cook him dinner and spoil the heck out of him. "I wanna cook dinner for you."

"You can cook?" Chris asked grinning at me.

"You bet I can!" I beamed eagerly at him.

"So umm what do you want to cook?" Chris asked as he started to shut down his computer.

"Uh uhh," I giggled at him.

"What?" he asked trying to act all innocent.

"It's a secret!" I said giving him my naughty look.

"Eww I love secrets!" he snickered. "Come on let's go." I took his hand and together we walked out of his office. This was going to be great night.

From Don's point of view.

I missed mom so much that it threatened to over whelm me. I knew that I needed to let it out. But I didn't dare let it out in front of Josh. He was so strong and so together. I didn't want him to think I was nuts when I finally did loose it. But earlier, three days ago when Josh took me in his arms I almost lost it. The love and concern that he felt for me almost sent me over the edge. I knew that I needed to morn her death. But not infront of Josh. "Don?" Josh's voice startled me. I glanced up. "Ummm Justin is here."

"Good," I said putting up my brave front. "Maybe I can get back to work." I walked out of my office and into the living room. I smiled as I heard the laughter of Donny and Justin. I walked in the room in time to see Justin putting Donny back down on the floor. Donny's face was all flushed with laughter. "Hey Boss," I said with a bright smile. Justin frowned at me. I realized that I may be able to fool Josh but not Justin.

"Umm we have to talk," Justin said still wearing that frown of his. "It's about you returning to work."

"Yea I want to get started as soon as possible," I added to him.

"Not possible," Justin replied bluntly. "To put as simply as possible Don, you're exhausted. You've been going non stop for almost two weeks. You're sleeping habits are all messed up. "You've lost your mother and like or not you need to take time off to deal with that. And there is no way in hell that I am letting you back to work when you are not one hundred percent."

"I've been dealing," I muttered as I sat down on the sofa.

"Really?" Justin asked as he pushed his point home. "Buy taking care of everyone else but yourself?" I looked around for Josh and didn't see him. "Don't go looking for Josh, cause he is not here. This conversation is about you. And how you are refusing to take care of yourself."

"I'm fine," I muttered getting up to leave.

"No you're not fine," Justin replied sternly. "Now sit back down." I sat down glaring at him. "You're going to take the next two weeks off."

"I'm going to go nuts!" I blurted out. "I have to work!"

"Tough," Justin shot back. "I'm giving you two weeks off so you can deal with your mother's death. You've got people who love you very much. Donny is one of them. I haven't seen you spend hardly any time with him. And there is Josh. When was the last time you two made love?"

"That is none of you--," I started.

"Spare me the none of my business remark," Justin said as he shook his head. "Josh is my friend. Hell! he is my brother. Therefore that makes it my business."

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked glaring hard at Justin. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I love you," Justin replied. "And like it or not we are doing this for your own good."

"We?" I asked. That was when I felt Josh's hand land on my shoulder.

"Josh," Justin said with a sad smile. "It is time."

"Time for what?" I blurted out. Josh took my hand and pulled me up. "Josh what are you doing?"

"We're going out," Josh replied sadly. "We're going to be gone for a few days."

"What about Donny?" I asked looking around for my son.

"I'll take care of him," Justin replied. I felt like I was being herded out of my house. The urge to fight was fading. Josh was walking beside me and the feelings of safety and love was overwhelming. "You go with Josh and rest. When you come back than we can talk about your job."

"I'm not ready," I said softly as the tears threatened to spill out. "Not now."

"Yes sweetie," Josh replied with tears flowing down his angelic face. "It is time."

"For what?" I asked my bottom lip trembling.

"To cry for your mom," Josh said simply.

"No!" I said stubbornly. "I'm not ready!"

"Well than get ready," Josh said simply as he helped me into the car. I got mad because I didn't want to do this. I wasn't going to break down in front of Josh. I sat in silence during the entire ride to the hotel. When Josh signed us in we rode up in the elevator I was remained silent. Josh seemed content to allow me to give him the silent treatment. As soon as we got upstairs I noticed that it was a suite. I walked into the nearest bedroom and closed the door and locked it.

From Josh's point of view.

"Don open the door!" I shouted as I pounded on it.

"Go away!" Don shouted back. "I don't want to do this right now. I'm not ready!"

"Fine!" I shouted back as I stomped over to the couch and sat down. "Two can play this game!" I grumbled to myself. Silence racked the suite as I sat and wondered how I was going to make this work. Finally I heard the door open. I looked up and saw him standing there. "I thought you wanted to be alone?" I asked.

"I wanted to ummm well umm--," he started. Than it happened. His voice started to tremble and the first tear flowed down his angelic face. It wasn't long before he was in my arms sobbing into my chest. I started to cry too. I cried for his pain and for Donny's and mine. I really don't remember just how long it was that we stood there in eachother's arms. But finally he looked up at me. I could see the hurt pain sorrow and fear in his eyes.

"I want to make it better for you love," I whispered kissing his forehead. "Will you let me?"

"I don't know where to begin," he said softly laying his forehead against mine. "I'm so lost with out her."

"She was your one constant in your life?" I asked. He nodded and sniffled loudly.

"From the moment I was born, actually from the moment I was concieved she was my one constant. I always had her with me. I could always go to her and I knew she would always be there," he said as he sat down pulling me with him. "Now she is gone." He sounded so lost that my heart went out ot him.

"Can I be your constant?" I asked as I brushed some damp hair away from his face. He looked up at me and for the first time I saw a real smile cross his angelic face. "What?" I asked grinning innocently. "I'm being serious."

"I know you are sweetie," Don replied laying his head on my shoulder. "And yes," he said looking up at me again.

"Yes to what?" I asked.

"Yes you can be my constant," he replied. I noticed that a far away look crossed his eyes.

"Whacha thinking about?" I asked as I kissed his lips again.

"How far we have gone to get to where we are," he replied. "I love you." I nodded and was shocked to see his tears again. "I'm so sorry," he whimpered as he clung to me.

"Sorry for what love?" I asked holding him tighter.

"For the way I've been acting," he sniffled. "I've been a horrible boy friend." More tears flowed down his face. I gently and lovingly wiped them free.

"No you haven't," I smiled lovingly down at him. "You were just hurting and didn't know how to deal with it."

"You forgive me?" he asked looking up at me with those incredible eyes of his.

"Of course I forgive you sweetie," I said as I pressed my lips to his again. Only problem was that he yawned widely. He blushed and looked down.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"No need to be sorry love," I smiled down at him. "You're tired and right now I am going to put you to bed."

"Will you ummm come too?" Don asked suddenly shy.

"Of course I will," I said. "I have to call Justin first. He is so worried about you."

"I'm so sorry for causing all of this trouble," he said as new tears flowed down his tried face.

"No more apologising," I whispered. "Now get in that room and take off all of your clothes."

"Sex?" Don asked grinning.

"No sweetie," I replied. "I want to hold you naked. I don't want anything between us when we go to sleep." Don blushed when I gazed down at him with a look of pure lust. Yea I wanted to make love to him but I knew he was tired and needed sleep. But I did promise myself to make love to him later this evening. I watched him walk into the bedroom again and leave the door open. I laughed when I saw the flurry of activity as pieces of clothes flew around the room. I picked up my cell and dialed the house.

"Justin here!" a cheerful voice sounded. I could hear Donny's high pitch giggles in the back ground.

"Hey," I said grinning.

"JC!" Justin exclaimed. I could hear Donny winning to talk to me. "Hold on some one wants to talk to you.

"Daddy Josh!" Donny's voice shouted in my ear. "I miss you!"

"We've only been gone for a little while buddy," I giggled.

"I still miss you!" Donny said. I could almost see the pout on his face.

"We'll be home in a few days. Let me talk to Justin," I said softly.

"So how is he?" Justin's concerned voice sounded in my ear.

"He is finally crying," I said as a tear flowed down my face.

"Thank God," Justin breathed. "What are you two doing now?"

"Right now we are going to take a nice long nap," I said.

"Good," Justin replied. "Give me a call if you two need anything."

"I will," I said. "And Justin?"

"Yea yea I know," Justin said. I could almost see the blush on his face. "You two are very important to me."

"Gotta go," I said as tears threatened to over come me again. I clicked off the phone and laid it down on the table and walked into the room. There he was laying on the bed with out a stitch on. He was nestled in bed with his head on the pillow. His entire body exposed for me to see. His soft snores made me smile. I quickly disrobed and slid into bed and pulled the sheets and comforters over our naked frames. The minute my flesh came in contact with his he clung to me. He whimpered softly in his sleep as he wrapped himself around me. I kissed his forehead and closed my eyes and allowed sleep to finally creep over me.

From Danny's point of view.

"Dinner's served!" I called out. I shivered with desire as I watched him walk into the kitchen. "Hey beautiful," I whispered softly.

"Hey," he replied blushing.

"I hope you like pasta," I said pointing at the two steaming plates. "I also found some garlic bread and some stuff for a salad too."

"It looks delicious," Chris sighed as he sat down.

"Well looks and tastes are completely different," I replied. Chris rose a fork to his lips and took a bite.

"Delicious," he said nodding his approval. Once I had his approval I too dug into my plate and soon we were enjoying a quiet evening together eating our dinner together. After dinner was done and dishes washed and dried we found ourselves snuggled up on the couch watching the fire place.

"I missed you," I said softly as I planted a soft kiss on his cheek. He leaned into my touch and shivered with delight.

"I was so worried about you," Chris mumbled as he snuggled closer to me. "I know what it is like to loose your mother."

"It was so sudden," I said sadly. "I'm more worried about Don."

"Why?" Chris asked looking at me with his eyes full of love and concern.

"Because Don is taking mom's death the hardest. And he is not letting it show," I sighed. "When he finally opens up and finally morns mom's death I hope that Josh is with him."

"Can you help him?" Chris asked. He was still looking up at me with those incredible blue eyes of his. I could feel the love from him.

"I want to," I replied. "Just that he doesn't open up to well with me."

"How about Josh?" Chris asked.

"Oh he is being stubborn about him. He doesn't want to show any weakness towards Josh," I grumbled. "I mean Josh is his lover. Josh would do anything for him. Don is just being stubborn. He should let Josh help him." We lapsed into a nice quiet period. Every once in a while Chris would lean down and kiss me on the lips. I was getting really horny but I knew I couldn't do anything about.

"You're hard," Chris whispered as he felt my crotch.

"I'll be fine," I whispered back.

"Let me take care of you?" Chris asked licking his lips.

"But what about--," I started only to have his finger press up against my lips.

"You would be surprised what I can do," Chris replied with a very naughty glint in his eyes. Oh yea Chris could do naughty very well. I vaguely remembered my zipper being lowered. That was the last sane thought I had for the remainder of the night.

Later from Don's point of view.

I woke to find that I was surrounded by this feeling of warmth and complete comfort. I looked around to find myself surrounded by comforters and a very attractive lightly tanned Josh in bed with me. He was wrapped around me sleeping soundly. I snuggled closer to him and laid my head on his chest and listened to his slow and steady beat of his heart. I was still sad about mom dying but atleast I didn't have this over whelming desire to keep everything in. I kissed Josh lightly on the chest and was so tempted to slip his nipple into my mouth. But I knew he needed his sleep. Josh was so worried about me. I also noticed that a certain part of his anatomy was poking me. I looked under the comforter and silk sheets and saw that he was rock hard. I wanted to relieve him so bad. I looked up at his angelic features as he slept. Sighing heavily I slid from his grasp and padded out into the living room. I choose to go naked. It felt good not having anything on me. I saw the huge over stuffed sofa and I walked over to it and sank into it. It was so comfortable. I pulled the throw on the back so that it covered my waist. I laid back against the over stuff pillows and soon sound myself drifting off to sleep again. "Don?" a sleepy voice startled me back awake. I opened my eyes and saw him standing there. "I woke and found you gone," Josh said. "I was worried about you."

"I was awake and didn't want to wake you," I said as I stretched. I watched as he strolled across the room and sat next to me and laid his head on my shoulder. I looked down to see that he was still hard.

"You're hard," I said softly as I took hold of it. I shivered with lust as I wrapped my hands around his rock hard cock. He moaned softly. "I missed this," I whispered as I stroked it a few times until I got a whimper from him. "You know what I else I missed?"

"Umm I'm sure you're going to tell me," Josh gasped out.

"This," I said as I engulfed the head of his cock. The feeling of his rock hard cock slid into my mouth sent waves of pleasure through me. The taste of him brought back so many memories. I closed my eyes and allowed his entire eight inches to fill my mouth and throat. I moaned around him and relished the taste of his precome as it coated the inside of my mouth.

"Don," Josh gasped out.

"Yes love?" I asked giving him my naughty grin.

"Don't tease me," he whimpered.

"Ok," I giggled softly. "I won't." I was true to my word as I worked so hard to bring to the brink. Josh stopped me after about fifteen minutes. I looked up at him pouting.

"I want to be in you," he said huskily. I turned over on my back and spread my legs. I felt him slid into me and I whimpered from the pain. It had been so long since he had last made love to me. His face clouded over with concern. "I'm hurting you."

"Don't pull out," I ordered him. "The pain will pass." He laid down on top of me and captured my lips in his. I allowed him to kiss me breathless as you usually did. It felt so good to be in his arms again with him in complete control of my body. Finally I was ready. I moaned softly and moved just enough to give him the message. I was finally where I needed to be. Making love to Josh. I was his and his alone. Maybe just maybe we could get through this period in our lives.

Later

"So you feeling better?" Josh asked with a smile on his face. I groaned as I pushed a plate away. "Did you eat to much?"

"Yea I think I did," I groaned again. "Why didn't you stop me?" I asked with a small pout.

"You looked like you were enjoying yourself," Josh giggled. "And besides I love to see you smile."

"Thank you," I said as my eyes got misty.

"For what?" Josh asked taking a hold of my hand. I shivered with delight at his gentle touch. He brought my hand to his lips and graced it with another gentle kiss.

"For making me do this," I replied. "I know now that I needed to do this."

"I was so worried about you," Josh said wiht worry lines on his brow. "Don't do that again."

"Do what again?" I asked confused.

"Try to take on the world all by yourself," Josh replied with a pout of his own. "I love you and we are supposed to be a team."

"I didn't want you to see me like this," I whispered looking down and blushing with shame.

"Why?" Josh asked. I looked up and shuddered with desire when I saw the love and devotion pouring out of his eyes. "Don't you know by now that I love you Donny Smith?"

"I love you too," I replied grabbing on to his hand. "I'm sorry I didn't have the strength to be do this."

"I'll forgive you this time," Josh replied. At this time the phone rang. We both jumped and laughed. "Let me get that," Josh said as he picked up the reciever. "Josh here," he said softly.

"Daddy Josh!" Donny's voice exclaimed. Josh cringed from the loudness of it. "I wanna talk to daddy!"

"Ok buddy," Josh laughed as he handed off the phone to me.

"Hey kiddo!" I said cheerfully into the reciever.

"Daddy!" Donny's voice exclaimed at me too. "I miss you!"

"I miss you too," I replied grinning. "Are you being a good boy?"

"Uncle Justin took me shopping!" Donny said in his usual hyper voice. "We got new clothes!"

"Oh really?" I asked raising my eyebrows. "And what is wrong with the clothes you have now?"

"They're not cool!" Donny said matter of factly. "Uncle Justin says I'm fly now!" By now I was laughing. Josh looked at me confused. "When are you coming home?" I could almost see the pout on his face.

"In a day or so," I replied. "Can you put Justin on the phone for me?"

"Ok Daddy! I love you Daddy," Donny shouted as he handed the phone to Justin.

"Hey," Justin's voice sounded over the reciever.

"So my son is now fly?" I asked winking at Josh. Josh caught on and started to giggle.

"Yea I umm got him some new clothes and stuff," Justin said. "I hope you don't mind."

"No Justin I don't mind at all," I said shaking my head. My son was going to become a fasion bug if Justin had anything to do with it. "How much did you spend on him?"

"Ummm you don't want to know," Justin said softly. I could almost see the cringe on his face.

"Juuustinnnnn?" I prodded.

"Well he looked so cute in them!" Justin deffended himself.

"How much?" I demanded.

"Three grand," Justin squeaked out.

"Three thousand dollars!" I yelped out. "What did you buy him?"

"Clothes and stuff," Justin mumbled out.

"What kind of stuff?" I asked. I really didn't mind that Justin bought Donny some stuff. I was enjoying grilling Justin about it though. Josh knew it too and gave me a scolding look.

"Some new toys and shoes and styled his hair," Justin finally admitted.

"What was wrong with his hair?" I yelped out. "And please tell me you didn't pierce his ear!"

"No I didn't do that," Justin spoke up quickly. "He wanted to though."

"Oh really?" I asked grinning. "Well maybe I'll take him in one day so he can get it done."

"So you're really not mad at me?" Justin asked.

"Justin," I sighed. "Of course I'm not mad. I know you love him like a uncle. And Donny loves you like crazy too."

"Thanks Don," Justin said cheerfully. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing much better now," I said grinning over at Josh. He blushed and looked down. I giggled loudly.

"You got laid!" Justin said in an accusing tone of voice. I busted up laughing.

"You say that like it is a bad thing," I snickered.

"I didn't mean it that way," Justin said sheepishly. "I'm glad you are doing batter."

"Thank you Justin," I said softly.

"For what?" Justin asked. I could almost see the confusion on his face.

"For being stubborn and not letting me get swallowed up by this thing," I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. "You've been a huge help to me."

"You are my friend, and not to mention a huge part of Josh's life. And one hell of a PA," Justin replied. "Now I gotta go and feed Donny his dinner."

"What are you feeding him?" I asked.

"I'm fixing a chicken dish," Justin said.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Justin can cook?"

"Yes I can cook!" Justin retorted. I could almost see the pout on his face. I laughed and Josh joined in. "Hey! stop picking on me!"

"Ok," I snickered. "I'm sorry. Give Donny a big hug and kiss from his daddies for us."

"Ok I will," Justin replied. "Good night Don." There was a click on the phone and I turned it off and laid it on the table.

"Come here," Josh's voice drifted over me. I looked over my shoulder to see that he was laying on a pile of furs infront of the fireplace. I also noticed that he wasn't wearing a stitch of clothes. He wasn't hard but he looked very comfortable.

"What do you think you are doing?" I asked as I stood up and slid off my robe.

"I think I am going to hold you all night long right here in front of this fireplace. And maybe make love to you some time tonight. That is of course if that is all right with you," Josh replied licking his bottom lip.

"Oh I think it is more than ok with me," I replied as I sank down into the very soft confines of the furs. Josh picked up a remote and pushed a button and soft music flowed out from hidden speakers. I leaned back and allow Josh's arms to encircle me.

"You comfortable?" Josh asked as his lips graced my bare shoulders.

"Very," I moaned.

"Good," Josh replied very pleased with himself. "Before tonight is over you are going to be very very comfortable." I could feel him getting hard as his cock pressed up against my back.

"You're horny again," I looked up at him. I could see the lust in his eyes. "So tell me something." Josh nodded for me to continue. "Is school back in session and should I get ready for a lesson?"

"Oh you are so mean!" Josh laughed out. I turned over so that I was facing him. His nipples looked so yummy that I couldn't resist slipping one of them into my mouth and sucking on it.

"But I want a lesson really really bad," I said looking up at him giving him by best puppy dog eyes. "Please teacher? Can I have my lesson now?" Josh groaned loudly as he turned me over so that he was laying on top of me. His rock hard cock stabbed me in the abs. "Oh my," I giggled as I looked down at his rock hard chest and abs and his cock head pointing right up at me. "He looks yummy."

"Well he wants some attention," Josh purred. "You want to give him some?" He sat up and scooted up so that he was resting on my chest with his cock pointing right at my mouth. I opened my mouth and tilted my head back and he slid his cock into my waiting mouth. I moaned loudly and shivered as the length of his cock filled my mouth and throat. I swallowed as the head slid past my gag reflex. Soon his entire length was buried in my mouth and down my throat. Josh let out a whimper as a huge drop of precome flowed down my throat. "God that feels so good." I growled impatiently and he giggled down at me. "You want something?" I whimpered and he finally took mercy on me and pulled out and slid back in. He settled into a nice slow steady rythm as he slowly made love to me. I loved watching his abs flex and relax. I tuned into his moans and whimpers and his love talk as he slowly brought himself to orgasm. Finally he let out a series of yelps and he pulled out and rested the head of his cock on my tongue and uloaded his cum into my mouth. I moaned around his very tender cock head and sucked down the cum. The taste of him almost sent me into orgasm myself but I mannaged to stop myself. I had other plans for my Josh. Finally I tenderly licked him clean and he laid down beside me. "How was that for a lesson?" he smirked down at me with his usual naughty look on his face.

"Now what about me?" I asked returning the naughty look. He smiled as he sat back up and strattled me. He than reached behind him and gently but firmly lifted my cock up and slowly impaled himself on it. I was surrounded by him and he was so tight and it felt so good. I had to resist thrusting in hard. I watched his face as his face contorted just a little. "Are you sure?" I asked reaching up and wiping away a tear from his face.

"I want you to make love to me," he whispered as he rose up and lowered himself on me again. I moaned softly from the incredible feeling. I knew tonight was going to be a long night.

The next morning from Josh's point of view.

I woke to the most beautiful sight in this world. My lover snuggled in bed next to me with the most peaceful expression on his face. We had stayed up for most of the night rediscovering ourselves. We held each other, made love to eachother, danced and listened to music. We cried some more and laughed and made love again. Finally I carried him to bed and laid him on the soft confines of the matteras and snuggled up beside him. He clung to me like usual and drifted off to a peaceful slumber. I stayed awake for another hour and watched him sleep. I watched as he dreamed about his mother passing. I kissed his tears away and told him that everything would be all right. At some point I fell asleep as well. Something had woke me up. Don whimpered softly as a tear flowed out of his closed eyes. I wiped it free and kissed his fore head. "I love you," I whispered to him. "I'm not going any where." That seemed to calm him down. The knocking sounded again. That was what woke me up. I swung out of bed and walked to the door. "Who is it?" I called out.

"Daddy Josh!" Donny's hyper voice. I quickly pulled the door open and saw Donny standing there with Justin. Justin wore a very apologetic look on his face. "I missed you!" Donny exclaimed again as he wrapped his arms around my leg. "Where is daddy?"

"He is asleep buddy," I smiled down at him. "He was up really late last night."

"I wanna see him," Donny said as he gazed earnestly up at me.

"When he gets up you can see him," I smiled down at him as I remembered that Don didn't have any clothes on. "Hey Justin."

"Hey," Justin replied. "Sorry about this but Donny can be pretty stubborn when he makes up his mind."

"Yea he takes after his daddy," I smiled foundly down at the four year old. That was when I noticed that Donny did indeed look different. "Nice hair Uncle Justin," I smirked at Justin.

"Hey!" Justin replied with a shy grin. "Can't have my nephew looking normal now can it? I mean he is one hot little dude!" I just laughed as I showed them in.

"You guys had breakfast yet?" I asked as I fell into host mode.

"Nope," Justin said grinning at Donny as he ran around the suite looking at everything.

"I'll order room service," I replied slipping into our bedroom. I crept over to Don and frowned as I saw his eyes open and the tears flowing. "Baby?" I asked softly.

"I miss her so much Josh," he sobbed out. "Why?" He looked at me with such sorrow in his eyes that it litterly tore my heart in too. "Why did she have to leave me? Why does everyone I love leave me?"

"Baby," I said as a tear flowed down my face. "I'm not going any where. I love you sweetie and I'm not leaving."

"I want my mom back," he sobbed. By now he was sitting up in bed and he fell into my arms. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. I looked up and shook my head sadly. There in the doorway was Justin holding Donny. Donny was staring at us with his large frightened eyes. He was seeing a side of his daddy that he had never seen before. Justin quickly walked out of the doorway with Donny. By now Don had stopped crying and I realized that he was asleep. I worked quickly to slid some boxers on him and a pair of pajama bottoms before kissing him on the cheek.

"I love you Don," I sighed sadly as I closed the door behind me.

"Well at least he is morning the death of his mom," Justin said softly laying a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry that Donny saw that. I tried to stop him from going in there."

"It's all right," I mumbled softly. "He has to understand that grown ups cry too. Where is he?" Justin pointed at the couch. Donny was sitting there looking at the tv with tears flowing down his face. "This is not going to be easy is it?"

"Do it is not," Justin sighed. "But they are very lucky to have you."

"They're lucky to have us both," I smiled at Justin as I walked over to Donny. The minute I sat down he was in my arms crying his heart out. "You're right Justin," I said sadly. "They are lucky to have us both."

TBC

Next: Chapter 19: Trial by Tears 4


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