Phone Call

It's Never Easy – Chapter 3

Morning came around, and my body still wasn't adjusted to Orlando time. It was going to be worse because I was flying back to LA tomorrow. I woke up before James, at 3:30 a.m. Instead of waking him up as well, I slipped out of bed and turned on my laptop.

I quietly logged onto the dial-up account I used whenever I wasn't in LA and downloaded my e-mail. Unsurprisingly, there were way too many e-mails. When I noticed the repeat e-mails from JMS and Luke, I realized I had never returned their phone calls. Since it was barely passed midnight their time, I decided to not call them. Instead I read their e-mails.

It seems that a heavy storm had hit LA, and the roof of one of our key soundstages was damaged. Rain leaked in causing some serious damage to the sets and costumes. That was the good news.

The bad news was that Korvan was hedging on providing the money we needed to fix the sets properly. They wanted it done cheaper, but that could affect the quality. I agreed that continuity of sets was important, but they doubted we'd get the money we wanted. Instead, they wondered if I could write something into the script we were to shoot next that would explain slight differences in the set design. An idea came to mind, but we'd need shots of the old sets. I remembered us doing a documentary for the pre-premiere media blitz, and cc'd Manuel to see if his company could pull it off. Then there was the e-mail from Stookey, the lawyer who had helped me get custody of Nathan.

It seemed that the California social worker had contacted him, trying to get a hold of me. He was kind enough to send me a warning about her. It seemed she had a chip on her shoulder about `Hollywood' people and was on the war path. I sent a reply thanking him for the info, and for the referral he had included to a California lawyer he thought I should contact. That was when I heard James waking up from his sleep. All thoughts about lawyers, social workers, and set problems fled my mind as he pulled back the cover and I saw his nude body stretch out.

Needless to say we passed away the rest of the morning enjoying each other's company. Come on, we were about to be separated for another couple of weeks. We'd just spent the longest stretch of time together we'd ever managed. We were resisting acknowledging the fact that our careers would soon separate us once more.

By 6:00 a.m., we couldn't wait any more and proceeded to get dressed for our day. James had to be at the Jive compound for rehearsals at 9:00. Nathan and I would be spending the day together, preparing the house for our imminent departure. I also had a lot of packing and repacking to do. I wanted most of my London outfits to go to LA with me.

I fixed breakfast while James flipped through the morning paper and watched some morning news programs. Just as I was finishing up the French toast (what else would I make for him?), he yelled my name and I rushed into the living room. Sure enough, there we were on television, departing from the fundraiser with the Royal Princes and Elton John with David saying good-bye. What the broadcaster said, got me worried.

"Here we see the controversial couple of Lance Bass and Dave Young leaving a London fundraiser yesterday. While they were hobnobbing with the rich and famous, questions are being raised about Mr. Young's capabilities in raising 15-year old Nathan Killmer. The teenager's surviving family has raised questions with the Department of Social Services both in Arizona and California. While the star couple was gallivanting around the globe, where was Nathan? Did they leave him all alone or with adequate care? We'll be following this story as more develops..."

That was when I started cussing. James managed to shush me, but a tired Nathan, his hair disheveled poked his head out of his room and called downstairs asking what was wrong. James just told him to take a shower and come down for breakfast. I thought about what was said on the news, the e-mail from Stookey, and the message from Lynn and decided I needed to act sooner rather than later.

"James?" I asked quietly while he filled his plate with food.

"Yes, love, I agree. You need to go back today." He said with a smile, not even letting me ask him a question. I stood there, mouth open when Nathan walked into the kitchen.

"What, you tell him about me and Justin?" Nathan asked James. I did a double-take and stared at him, my face going red in anger.

"Nathan!" I practically yelled. "Please tell me that you DID NOT have sex with Justin Timberlake!"

"Why, what would be the big deal? He's only five years older than me. You and Poppa are further apart than we are?" Nathan replied innocently.

"Five years, when one of you is fifteen is too much!" Okay, I was yelling now. "You're a minor. There's not a state in this union that wouldn't prosecute Justin for sex with a minor under 16. He'd be a convicted sex offender, required to register wherever he lived for the rest of his life! This is not something to just shrug off!"

"Got ya." Nathan said with a smile. I imitated a fish for a moment as he and James broke up laughing. I wanted to wring his neck. Instead I gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"I've missed you, son." I said softly as he still giggled against my chest.

"Will you call me that all the time?" Nathan asked me, his voice pleading. "I'd like to think of you as my dad, and when you call me son, it feels so good."

"Yes, son. I will" I said softly pushing him towards the food. He was a teenager alright, filling his plate up and scarfing it down so fast I thought it was disappearing magically.

"I've got some bad news for you." After he'd eaten about half his plate. He looked up very alarmed, and I decided to quickly explain before he freaked out.

"Has Lynn talked to you about the social worker that has been calling?" I asked and he nodded his head. At least he wasn't talking with his mouth full. "Well, either she, or someone in her office has been talking to the press. We need to address this issue immediately. That's why you and I are going to fly back to LA today. We'll stop by Lynn's house on the way to the studio so you can say goodbye to her, and then we'll see the guys there before we catch our plane."

"Why does it sound so final, saying goodbye?" Nathan asked.

"Sorry, didn't mean it to be, son." I said. This was getting weird. A moment of surrealism hit me, calling a fifteen year old `son.' But it also fit my feelings for him. "But, we also have to recognize that we they do have the power to take you away. We have to be as straightforward with them as we can about how you feel, about what you want. I love you and I'll do my best to keep you with us, if you want to stay."

"Please don't let them take me away!" Nathan half-screamed, half-cried as tears appeared in his eyes. Okay I needed some work on the father thing. James was immediately up from his chair and hugging Nathan. James' hug seemed to comfort Nathan immediately as the tears stopped.

"Nathan, son," James began hesitantly. A smile appeared on Nathan's face at James' words, even though they were still relatively close in age. "Both Dave and I are committed to having you in our lives forever. We can't wait to see you graduate from school, college if you go, or whatever you choose to do in life. We want you to be a part of ours always. We've been talking, and well, we want to ask you a big favor."

"What favor?" Nathan whispered, staring into my eyes.

"Well, I was given custody of you by the court as your guardian." I began, trying to think the words before I spoke them. "We'd like to make that something more permanent, and including James as well. We'd like to adopt you, both of us, if you want us as your parents."

"YES!" Nathan cried out, jumping out of his chair and out of James' hug. He immediately embraced James, then rushed over to me and embraced me. James joined us in the hug, my family. Now I was starting to cry.

After our hug fest, Nathan and I got packed and ready to go. We left around 8, and got over to Lynn's soon after. She was just getting up, and was thankful we'd stopped by. That was when I learned what Nathan had done on New Years.

Justin had talked her into going with them up to New York for the MTV New Year's bash. The four NSYNC guys were appearing on the show, and they'd brought Nathan with them (he stayed with Lynn at the hotel). Nathan blushed as she recounted his little speech in front of the camera, wishing us a happy new year. It was sweet, but he knew I'd have words with him later. Oh well, at least Lynn had gone with them.

We left her house shortly and drove to the studio. A car was going to be taking Nathan and I to the airport, so we were driving in James' vehicle. We entered the compound without a lot of problems and made our way to the rehearsal studio. The goodbyes were sweet, although the guys insisted on teasing us for our `royal' vacation. Nathan and I left on time, but I really wasn't surprised with the limo James had ordered.

The flight was filled with conversation in first-class. Nathan chatted about everything that had gone on while we were gone, and then demanded to know every detail about our trip. He got what he wanted, sans details about the sex. He seemed to enjoy hearing about it and demanded that he get to go next time. I told him he would be going, and mentally made a note to get him a passport. All too soon, our plane was landing and we were in LA. I'd called Manuel before our flight took off, and he was there to pick us up in my car.

Of course I drove us home. That car was my baby. Almost as important as Nathan and James were to me. Manuel of course had to hear all about our trip. He smiled at some parts, frowned at others, and laughed out loud. I noticed he seemed a little down, but I'd have to wait to talk to him. I had other fish to fry at the moment.

I called the social services worker as soon as we were home. She threw a fit, yelling at me, asking me if I realized she wasn't at my beck and call. I knew from that speech this was not going to be easy, so I tried to be accommodating. I offered to meet her at her office, or wherever else she wanted. She stated the interview had to be conducted at our home. When I told her she was welcome to come over any time, day or night as soon as she could fit us into her schedule, she got even more flustered. That's when she informed us she'd be over around 6:00 p.m. that night.

She seemed offended when I told her we'd be eating dinner around that time and I'd make sure there was plenty for her. My comment about feeling guilty for making her miss her meal sure set her off.

Maybe she didn't like her victims to be nice.

Well, since I was back in LA I might as well get some work done. I dragged Nathan with me as I went around to the studio to inspect the damage. There was a crew working, and I must say that the word damage had understated the situation. The wind coming through the damaged roof let water in, and even more wind in the drafty soundstage. They sets for the infirmary and the command center were both destroyed, as was the bridge of one of the ships we used most often.

I hoped my idea would work, because it would be easier to build new sets than to re-build these. Plus, as with most sci-fi shows, a large part of the fan base was totally anal retentive and I didn't want to be flamed any more than I already was. JMS was having a blast watching the blasting that was going on over the net, and my attempts to disarm the worst of it.

Sometimes I hate the internet.

We ate lunch at a café on the way to the studio. The rest of the afternoon I spent discussing money with the Project Manager at Korvan. He was a tough negotiator, but I ended up with a little more money. That was when I called Luke and we set up an action plan for getting new sets built. It meant a four-day delay, which I would use to re-write the script to add in an explanation for the new sets. Meanwhile Nathan was making himself a friendly nuisance down in the Marketing area. Mark was very glad when I came to pick him up.

We stopped at the grocery store on the way home, and I picked up all the ingredients for a baked garlic chicken dish, as well as groceries for the next few days. Nathan was on the phone with his boyfriend Evan, making plans for the next day. He was really eager to meet up with Evan.

Gee, I wonder why?

The doorbell rang at precisely 6:00 p.m. and I answered it quickly. Have you ever just taken a look at someone and knew they were trouble? That's what waited for me as I opened the door. I was smiling brightly and there was the dourest faced woman I'd ever had the displeasure of meeting. First off, she was short. If she was lucky, she hit five feet.

Big deal you say? Remember my height? I'm 6'3". There's something I've noticed over my 30 years of life. Short people usually hate tall people. Not all the time, not in every case, but from the way her expression darkened slightly, I knew that was going to be a factor.

Next thing I noticed was her clothing. Shut up. I'm not talking as in Oh look at that label! Oh, does it all match?', but rather What does the clothing tell me about this person's personality?' Yes, it is possible to tell a lot about people, especially women, from the way they dress. What I saw was not good. The clothing was sturdy, no frills garments that declared her all business, with no flair whatsoever.

Then there was her age. She wasn't older and nearing her retirement, she wasn't a young, fresh starting young gal looking to save the world. She was just old enough, and the way she crinkled her eyes supported my theory, that she had likely developed an advanced cynicism of everyone she met and always looked for the bad instead of the good. All this passed through my mind in about 2 seconds, and I increased my grin in magnitude.

"Welcome, Mz. Hollerand." I said as warmly as I could.

"Mr. Young." Her nod of the head and curt form of greeting continued my bad feeling.

"Please, come in." I asked, wishing vampires really existed so I could stake her. Wait, that wasn't nice. Down bad thoughts! Down! She walked into the condo and began to look around. Nathan was just finishing his phone call and she sniffed in his direction. Maybe she expected to run over to her for rescue instead of looking positively happy?

"Dadda?" Nathan said, rushing over as soon as he was done. "Justin said that he'd like me to come out to the Boston show in a couple of weeks. It's over the weekend and schools out for the MLK day, so can I go with you please?"

"It depends, son." I told him. "You have to do all your chores and your homework, but we'll see what we can work out. Now, I want you to say hello to our guest, Mz. Hollerand. She works for Social Services."

"Sorry," Nathan said, turning towards her. "I was so excited that I forgot my manners. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

"Likewise, Nathan." She said, shaking his hand. At least her voice warmed a little when she spoke to him. "So, do you think you're going to be able to go to Boston?"

"Like Dadda said, it's going to depend on if I get all the stuff done I'm supposed to. If I get it done, he'll let me go."

"Why don't you two have a seat in the living room?" I suggested. "I'll be finishing dinner. Would you care for anything to drink while you talk?"

"I'll have a glass of white wine." Mz. Hollerand said lightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am." I replied. "We don't keep any alcohol in the house. All we have is non-alcoholic beverages."

"Very well, I'll have a water please." She said, and I brought her the drink before returning to the kitchen. Unbeknownst to her, I could hear everything that was being said.

"Don't you think it's a little expensive to fly all the way out to Boston just to see your friends?" she asked Nathan.

"I don't know. Dadda and Pops can afford it though. Even if they didn't, Justin or Chris or Joey could. I mean, we're all family because Poppa is in the group with them and we all help each other out."

"What about your other family, the one you grew up with?"

"You mean the one who killed my mom, and said she deserved to die because she supported the nasty homosexual?" Nathan's voice was vitriolic, and I had to resist the urge to go out there and hug him. "You mean the family that wanted to send me off into some psyche ward in Utah? The family that thought I was possessed and wanted me taking to a faith healer to have them cast out? The family that would have rather I end up in foster care than to take care of me? Sorry, I've got a family now, lady. They care about me, love me, want me here, and they accept me for who I am! They set rules for me that I can follow, let me chase my own dreams, and love me, period! Why the fuck would I want to think about anyone else who might be related by blood but have no idea what it means to be family?"

"Calm down, young man!" Mz. Hollerand said in a nasty tone. "There's no need for you to be ranting like this. I swear, I wonder what sort of discipline you have in this house that you believe it is permissible to yell at adults!"

"I apologize ma'am." Nathan said, immediately calming down a little. "People call them my family, but the people here have been more accepting and loving of me than anyone but my mother."

"Well, just remember I'm an adult and I deserve your respect!" she snapped, then calmed down a bit herself. "Tell me, Nathan, doesn't the story that appeared in the paper about Mr. Young and Mr. Thomas bother you? Don't you feel uncomfortable that he could cheat on Mr. Bass that way?"

"He didn't cheat on Poppa." Nathan said in a tone that brooked no argument. "He talked about it with me and with Poppa. He messed up that night and had too much to drink. I was over with Manuel anyway and he didn't want me to see him all drunk. We talked about it, and about drinking. I think the reason he got so messed up that night is because he almost never drinks. At least he was smart enough not to drive and to sleep it off. I'd be pissed at him if he'd driven or something like that."

"He talked to you about it?" she asked, her voice showing surprise.

"Of course." Nathan said, pride showing in his voice. "We talk about almost everything. He'd rather I ask him questions and he doesn't believe in keeping secrets from me so we can talk about anything."

"I see." She said, pausing for a few moments. "Will you show me your bedroom?"

They moved out of ear shot and I turned back to finishing dinner. By the time they returned, I had dinner on the table and ready to serve. Nathan was laughing and I could see a smile on her face, but it looked fake to me.

"So, anyway, I just rotated the posters through again. Everyone thought it was a good joke though." Nathan finished saying as I informed them dinner was ready. We sat around the table and Nathan said a quick prayer. As we began to eat, she continued her questioning.

"So, do you go to church, Nathan?"

"No, ma'am." Nathan replied after swallowing his food. "They asked me if I wanted to go, and offered to go with me if I did, but I didn't."

"You don't believe church is a necessary part of his life?" She asked me directly.

"I believe he is old enough to make his own decisions about church and his religious beliefs. I'm not going to force him to believe in God, or to attend a church since he is old enough to understand his choices. We do have a 1st Amendment in this country that gives all of us citizens the right to choose our religious beliefs, or lack thereof." I told her.

"I see." She commented, then continued with her questioning. "So, Nathan, do you get home-cooked meals all the time?"

"Well, usually breakfast, and dinner most of the time, unless Dadda has a long day at the studio. Then Manuel and I go out to eat or Christina has me over for dinner."

"Christina?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Christina Applegate. She's an old friend who lives a few doors down. If I'm going to be late at the studio and no one else is here, she's agreed to provide dinner for Nathan and to make sure he gets his homework done."

"Oh, I see." She said in a stern voice. "What about the recent trip to Europe? I understand you left Nathan with some other friends?"

"Yes, Nathan stayed with Lynn Harliss, Justin Timberlake's mother. He wanted to stay with Justin, but I didn't feel comfortable tying Justin down. He may have had business or something that would have required his attention where a fifteen-year old little brother would have been inappropriate." I said.

"Younger brother?" She inquired, lifting her expressive eyebrow.

"Yes, all of NSYNC considers him their younger brother, same as with the younger siblings of the other members. It really is like one big family. I was really surprised at first but have really come to appreciate this. For instance, Lynn didn't hesitate to volunteer to supervise Nathan. She even flew with him to New York when Justin invited him to the MTV New Year's party."

"Yes, about that party." She said, her voice again stern. "Would you have allowed him to go if you weren't gallivanting around Europe?

"As long as he'd been behaving and wasn't under punishment for something he did, absolutely. Nathan's always been interested in the entertainment business and so long as it doesn't interfere with his studies I want him to experience it as much as possible. He's expressed an interest in working in the field when he is older and I want him to know what he's in for."

"So you are pushing him towards a career in your field?" She asked.

"I didn't say that." I responded sharply. "I said he has expressed an interest, and I am allowing him to explore that interest. That way he can make an informed decision as he grows older. If he told me he wanted to a garbage collector, I'd try to get him on a ride-along with a garbage truck so he'd know what he was getting into!"

"No need to get so upset, Mr. Young." She said, her tone haughty. "I believe I've discovered all I need to in order to make my report.

She got up from the table, and I stood, followed closely by Nathan. We escorted her out the door, and then returned to the dining room. Nathan looked at his half-finished plate, then at her plate that had not been touched. The sigh he let out was long and sad.

"I don't have a good feeling about her report." Nathan said after a few moments.

"Neither do I, son. Neither do I." I replied. In near silence, we finished dinner. After dinner, Evan showed up. He was a cute young guy, the same age as Nathan. Like Nathan, he was a little short, but had black hair that seemed to always have a mind of its own. The two disappeared into Nathan's bedroom, and I heard music playing. I couldn't help but laugh at hearing NSYNC's newest album being played.

While they got...um...reacquainted, I worked on my script in the office. By 9:00 p.m. I had made good progress and decided to call James. I relayed to him the results of our visit with ice bitch, I mean Mz. Hollander. He reminded me of my appointment tomorrow with an attorney for this situation and tried to be as comforting as he could. The phone call was relatively short, and left me feeling somewhat better. Shortly after 10, I took Evan home and returned to find Nathan passed out on the couch. I carried him into his bedroom and put him into bed, taking off his shoes and pants before tucking him in. Then I crawled into my own bed and tried to sleep.

Damn time zones had me wide awake. Not even deep breathing exercises helped me get tired enough to sleep. Add to that the fact that I was alone, without my James, and sleep was an elusive target. Then, around midnight, Nathan came stumbling into my room, tears in his eyes. He fell asleep in my arms, and I soon followed him.

A boyfriend is great cuddled up in your arms. Your son is just as good, although a little different.

Morning came bright and early, and I forced myself to get up. Breakfast was an easy affair of bacon and eggs with toast. By 9:00 a.m., we were dressed and out the door. Shortly after that, we pulled into the lawyer's office.

He was good. He apparently knew our social worker and was not happy to find out that she was assigned to us. From what he said, she was a hardened cynic who always supported the rights of blood relatives, even over the wishes of the minor child. It looked likely that we would have a fight on our hands, but we made good progress in developing a defense against anything she could throw at us.

We left the attorney's office confident that things would work out. That feeling didn't last long past pulling into the condo's driveway. There was a police car and another car waiting out front. Nathan stayed in the mustang while I got out. Mz. Hollander was waiting at our door with two officers. She turned to me and I saw her smile for the first time.

A shiver ran down my back at the look of glee on her face.

"Ah, Mr. Young." She drawled out, filled with her own self-importance. "I have a court order here revoking your custody of Mr. Killmer. He is to gather his belongings and leave with me. He'll be put into a youth center until his relatives come to claim him."

Nathan must have heard her from the car, because he screamed `NO!' and jumped out of the car to run. The policemen started to take off after him, but he stopped when I ordered him to stop. They police grabbed him roughly and started to drag him back towards the police car.

"Ma'am" I said, my voice ice cold. "Tell your goons to treat my son with respect or I swear I will make you and them sorry you ever crossed my path."

She just stared at me. I went over to the officers, who had reached the patrol car and were about to stuff him in the back seat when I stopped in front of them. My eyes caught the senior officer's and held them.

"Release him." I ordered, my tone brooking no argument. "He will behave, and comply with the court order. There's no need for force here."

Nathan immediately stopped struggling and looked up at me. He was crying and I wanted to hug him so bad, but I needed to convince the officers that he wouldn't be trouble first. The senior officer nodded to his partner and they released Nathan, who immediately wrapped himself around me and wouldn't let go.

"Come on, son." I whispered, rubbing his back. "We have to comply with this court order until we get to judge and let him or her hear our side of the story. I need you to be a good man, and obey their rules. Tell the truth, stick to your guns."

"What...what...if they are mean to me?" He was sobbing now and my heart was breaking.

"I want you take a notebook with you." I told him. "Write down in that notebook everything that is said or done to you. Keep track of everything."

That was when Mz. Hollander came over and tried to grab Nathan's arm. He started to wail so loud that the neighbors were looking out their doors and Christina came running over. When I told her what was going on, she became absolutely furious. I'm just glad she didn't do more than glare at the social worker. We made our way inside, and Nathan packed a suitcase with clothes, some books, and a notebook. He also packed a picture that had been taken on the studio lot with James and I, as well as a picture of him with the rest of NSYNC. Mz. Bitch told him to leave the pictures, but a glare from him shut her mouth. I walked with him out to her car, and gave him a hug before he climbed into the back seat. I barely noticed the reporter snapping pictures of a tearful Nathan being driven off. I was in the house two seconds later and on the phone to the lawyer, who was surprised at the speed with which she had moved. I took my copy of the court order, raced outside ignoring Christina and the reporter and was on my way to the lawyer's office immediately.

I didn't even notice Christina was on the phone as I drove off. The only thing on my mind was getting Nathan back as soon as possible.

The news at the lawyer's office was not good. He'd managed to get a copy of her report to the court and I must admit she was very good at distorting the truth. Everything she wrote was true, except for her conclusions. They were based on her own cynical viewpoint. To make matters worse, a cousin of Nathan's father had expressed an interest (now!) in taking Nathan. They had a large home in Utah and were active in the church (Mormon). Her write-up on their wonderful home life and supportive atmosphere for a teenage son was positively glowing.

Too bad it didn't address how a gay teenager would fit into a conservative Mormon household.

An emergency court hearing had been scheduled for the next day so we had little time to prepare. That was when my phone rang. It was James.

"We'll be landing in about five hours." He told me.

"How did you..." I started to ask, relief flooding through me.

"Christina called me." He said simply. "We are all coming out to LA. The show next week will be cancelled. Johnny's preparing a press release right now."

"Thanks, love" I said softly, not even wanting to argue about them disappointing their fans. I needed him too much. He hung up at that point and I suddenly felt more relaxed, less frantic. My boyfriend and his brothers were on the way.

I told the lawyer what James had said. He leaned back, tapping his chin with a long finger. His dark eyes were squinting as he thought something through. His gray hair was immaculate, as was his suit covering his lean frame.

"I think that will help our case." He said at last.

"It will?" I asked.

"Yes, it shows the level of dedication that you and your partner have to taking care of Nathan. It also shows the quality of the people who act as your primary support group that they would immediately drop everything, including a show worth millions upon millions of dollars, just to be here during a time of crisis. I can work that into the case tomorrow as a show of how strong and supportive your home life is for Nathan."

"It doesn't sound that bad when you put it that way." I said with a small chuckle. Like I said, I was more relaxed now that I knew I wouldn't be facing this alone. James was on his way.

"Believe me, if Mr. Wright explains what is going on in that press release of his, this case is going to become national news immediately. Sure, there will be negative protesters, but the court will freak that a social worker acted so presumptuously on a high-profile case. Add in what you and Nathan told me of your home life today, and once the details become known, you'll have more public support than you will know what to do with. In fact, if you and Mr. Bass are ready to move forward with your idea for adoption, I'd like to use that as a counterpoint argument against Mz. Hollander's assertions. I think it would strengthen your case."

"Draw up the paperwork." I told him, confident of James' reaction. "I'll confirm it with James when he gets here, but I'm 99.9% confident he'll say yes. Do you think I might be able to call Nathan?"

"I'm afraid not." My lawyer told me. "He will be allowed to call out probably, sometime later today. You'll just have to hope he calls you."

Which is when my phone rang, of course. Yes, it was Nathan.

"Hey, son. How's it going?" I asked him lightly.

"Not good." He said, sounding depressed. "They made me get examined by a doctor again. I hated it, but did what they said, just like you told me to do. They are making me talk to a psychiatrist later today, like I haven't been to therapy all this time! They put me in a big room with a lot of beds and I met some of the other kids. They weren't too nice. One of them called me a faggot."

"What did you do?" I asked him.

"I turned to the dude that said it and told him I didn't appreciate him using words like that. Then he started chanting it over and over and some of the other kids started in. The guy who was escorting me didn't do anything, even after I asked him if he'd stop them. Finally he escorted me out of there. I really don't feel like sleeping there tonight. Can't I come home?"

"I'm sorry, son." I said, really worried. "Look, I want you to tell every staff member you see that you don't feel safe. Write their names down if you can. Try to get them to move you somewhere else, and I'll do what I can as well."

"What if someone hits me?" Nathan asked, his voice scared.

"You've been learning self-defense, use it to get yourself free and then run to the nearest staff member, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you, son."

"I love you Dad." Nathan said, then hung up. I looked up immediately and conveyed everything Nathan had said to me. His eyes grew wide and he immediately picked up the phone and called social services, then the police. I could tell from his reaction that they blew him off, so I got more worried.

I was there all afternoon, discussing our case, discussing everything I could remember about the last few months. I even told him the truth about what had happened between Rob Thomas and I, as well as when I went to Orlando and found Josh & James in bed together. He agreed that we did not want the specifics to come out about those events, but would not encourage me to lie about them. Mislead was one thing, as long as no lies were told.

Yeah, the legal system sucks.

Finally, I realized he must have cancelled a hell of a lot of appointments to spend so much time with me. He laughed and said he'd be billing me. You know what? If it got Nathan home, I didn't care how much it cost.

I finally had to leave to go pick up the guys at the airport. I drove James' SUV and soon had five boy-band members, two girlfriends, and one boy-band mother crammed into Jame's vehicle. It was a tight fit and I was lucky we weren't pulled over.

Manuel was back by the time we pulled up to the condo and started laughing as we all piled out of the vehicle. He and Josh had a strained greeting, and disappeared inside their condo to talk very quickly. Housing arrangements were made (Justin and Lynn stayed with us, Joey and Chris stayed with Josh and Manuel along with their girlfriends) and we all agreed to meet at my place in a half-hour.

I ordered pizza. There was no way I was cooking. Do you thing five large pizzas would be enough? Of course not. That's why I ordered three sides of breadsticks and three sets of chicken wings. No sooner had I hung up then the phone started to ring. I received calls from everyone I knew in Hollywood, and from my family. Both James and I were busy answering the phones, and so many people planning on showing up tomorrow that I was astounded. We even made flights for my grandmothers to come down in the morning.

How had they heard? Johnny Wright's press release. He'd been somewhat vague, but loaded it with enough catch phrases that the press figured out what was going on, and it had been a slow news day. Even CNN was reporting this in their entertainment news.

That was when Court TV called to ask some questions. Soon after that, we had reporters from television stations and newspapers calling from across the country. Who knows how they got our home number, but we referred all of them to the Free Lance office, who James had working overtime handling their inquiries. Our attorney called back while we were consuming pizza amidst the phone calls and wanted to meet in his office early in the morning. The hearing was at 11:00, and he wanted to interview potential witnesses that included James, Lynn, Justin, Josh, Manuel, and Christina. We were up late that night, but eventually James and I crawled into bed. We were both crying, worrying about Nathan and what would happen in the morning.

Neither one of us felt like having sex that night, or even when we woke. That's what happens when a big chunk of your life is taken away from you.

The morning meeting with the attorney went well, and he had his staff interviewing the people he felt were central to the case. We got to the courthouse around 10:30, and spent twenty minutes pushing our way through the press, informing them we'd make comments after the hearing. In addition to the NSYNC group, Christina was there, as was JMS, Luke, Rupert Wainright, Chad, Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, and several of the actors from my show. We made an impressive group sitting altogether while we waited for Nathan's case to be called. I noticed a few sketch artists creating quick drawings of us sitting there quietly. It wasn't until 11:30 that our case was actually called, and I joined my attorney, Paul Davidson, on the other side of the low barrier. Nathan was brought in, and you could hear gasps from the courtroom. He had a black eye and his nose was swollen. He tried to head towards me, but the bailiff directed him toward the table where Mz. Hollander sat with a government attorney. He was crying as he looked over at me and it was all I could do to just sit there. I tried to comfort him with my eyes, but it seemed to have little positive affect.

The bailiff called our case, and the judge, a middle-aged African-American woman, began to speak.

"Case number 04-000346, the State of California on behalf of minor Nathan Killmer vs. David Young is hereby presented. This is a preliminary hearing to determine if revocation of temporary custody is warranted. Will the State please present their arguments?

Of course, that is when the attorney went into action, basing his statements on Mz. Hollander's report, and on several newspaper articles regarding my delinquent behavior with Rob Thomas. Davidson, my attorney, objected to the reference to the articles based on their content as hearsay and his objection was supported by the judge. He went on to claim how I was negligent in my care of Nathan, leaving him unsupervised, or inadequately supervised, for extended periods of time. Apparently Nathan had told her about the Backstreet Boys poster incident because they used that as an example of mental cruelty to a child. Nathan's face was shocked when he heard how they had interpreted that incident, and he wailed "BUT IT WAS A JOKE!", only to be silenced by the judge. She was smirking though. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. When they were done presenting their case, it was our attorney's turn, and he asked if he might direct some questions to Nathan. The judge consented, but only after warning Davidson to be responsible in his questions.

"Of course, your honor." Davidson said as Nathan was sworn in and asked to sit in the stand next to the judge. "We only want to ask him questions to clarify what has been stated in the State's presentation."

"Very well," Judge Smith said.

"Nathan, I want you to answer my questions as fully and honestly as you can." Davidson said to Nathan in a fatherly tone. Nathan just nodded.

"Nathan, since you began living with Mr. Young, have you ever been hit, punished unfairly, or treated in anyway that you are unhappy with?"

"No." Nathan said. "Well, I mean there were times I didn't think it was fair I was being punished, but the punishments weren't that bad."

"What kind of punishments were you given?"

"Well, if I speak back to an adult, or don't do my chores like I'm supposed to, I usually get fined $5 off my allowance. There was one week I actually ended up owing Dadda money. If I really mess up, I've been confined to my room for an hour or even grounded for a week one time. They've taken away my computer and xbox privileges too."

"No spanking? No hitting?"

"No. Dadda said I was too old to spank." Nathan said with a smile towards me.

"When you say `Dadda' who are you referring to?"

"Dave, of course." Nathan said with a silly teenager grin. "I got tired of calling him Dave and he's better to me than my real dad ever was, so I asked him if I could call him Dadda. It made me happy when he agreed."

"That's good to hear, Nathan." Davidson said, then continued. "Have you ever felt like you were neglected by your Dadda?"

"No." Nathan said so firmly that I couldn't help but smile. "I mean he's around in LA more than anyone else, but if he has to do something he always has someone cool to watch over me. Although I was pissed when he went to Europe and wouldn't let me stay with Justin. It turned out okay, though. Lynn's pretty cool as well. She even went to New York with me so I could go to the MTV party with the rest of the guys."

"Why did she do that?"

"Because Dadda had given her responsibility for me, and she said she `took it seriously.' The only way I could go was if she went as well. It was cool though."

"So, even though he might have to leave for various reasons, he always makes sure you are taken care of?"

"Oh, yeah. I get to stay with cool people, even if they are all scared to let me get away with breaking the rules. He finds out everything that happened while he was gone and if I did something I wasn't supposed to, well, I lose some more of my allowance. They won't even cover for me cause they know if he finds out, he won't let me stay with them anymore. It's pretty cool knowing he cares like that, but it can be a pain in the ass too. He knows all the tricks and always catches me."

The courtroom erupted into laughter at that point. As the courtroom calmed down, Davidson asked him in-depth questions about James, Manuel, and the rest of the guys. He asked details about this stay with Lynn, and several other things. He finally wound down and asked a final question.

"Nathan, how'd you get the black eye? I know when you left my office yesterday you didn't have it, and from the newspaper photographs of when you were picked up by social services, you didn't have it then either. Can you explain?"

The state attorney immediately objected, calling the question irrelevant since the State was not charging that physical abuse took place. Davidson stated that the physical well-being of the minor child was always relevant, and the objection was denied. The judge directed Nathan to explain, and he started with the incident he'd called me about, and even mentioned calling me and the advice I gave him.

"When I saw the boy again, he started shouting `faggot' at me again. I asked the staff guy, Peter Dallinger, to put me somewhere besides in that dorm with the boy. He told me to shut up, that the staff was already pissed about Dadda's attorney calling and they wouldn't give no Hollywood pansy any special treatment. I tried going to sleep, but I couldn't cause I was scared. I finally closed my eyes, and that was when something hit me in the face. I opened my eyes and saw the boy from earlier hitting me with his pillow case. He had something hard in it and I tried to get away, but he hit me a couple more times. I ran towards the door, but it was locked and the boy was chasing me. Everyone was awake and yelling, so I kicked him good. That was when the staff barged in. They took me to a nurse who let me sleep there for the night. My ribs still hurt when I breathe too deep, and I can barely see out of my eye."

"Nathan, did the staff say anything to you about the incident?"

"Yeah, they said I'd be put in isolation when I go back because I was fighting." Nathan said, looking down at his feet. Thank god they'd let him wear his own clothes.

"Nathan, you've heard what the social services employee had to say about your home life. You've also heard the state say that your father's cousin would like you to live with them. If you were given the choice of where to live, where would you choose?"

"With my mother, if she was still alive." Nathan said after a moment. "But that's not a choice I have. Dave and James have given me a loving home and I couldn't imagine living anywhere else, I belong with them."

"Thank you, Nathan." Davidson said softly. He returned to our table and stood facing the judge. "Your honor, I believe Mr. Killmer has adequately disproven the claims by the State of negligence and of mental abuse. Additionally, we have learned of an alarming lack of care, and of a hate crime that took place within their facility. I have checked with the police, and no report of a hate crime has been submitted and the perpetrator has not been remanded to custody as required by state law. In their zeal to drag the personal lives of my client and his family through the mud, the State has caused more harm to an undeserving young man. I request that the motion of the State be denied and custody of the minor Nathan Killmer be returned to Mr. Dave Young. In addition, at Mr. Young's request, we would like the name of Mr. James Lance Bass be added to the custody order. It is their intent to jointly seek adoption of Mr. Killmer and would like to have the parental role being played by Mr. Bass be recognized."

"Is Mr. Bass here at this time?" The judge asked.

"Yes, your honor, I am." James said from where he sat in the audience, rising to his feet.

"Is it your intent to seek adoption rights for the minor, Mr. Killmer?" she asked him.

"Yes, your honor." He said. "That's why we canceled our concert, so I could be here today."

"I heard." The judge said with a wry grin. "My daughter is a big fan of yours and cried all night thinking you'd be canceling your LA concert as well."

"No, your honor." James said with a smile. "We just cancelled the one for tomorrow, and we'll make it up as soon as we can."

"Very well." The said, rising to her feet. "Nathan, I'd like to speak to you in my chambers for a few minutes, then I'll return with my decision."

Everyone rose to their feet as Nathan followed the judge into her chambers. He was wiping his face, and smiled at me as he passed by. My attorney was very optimistic, and good old Mz. Hollander was frowning fiercely. They were gone for about five minutes before returning, and Nathan was smiling broadly. He walked confidently over to where I sat, and hugged me before standing next to me. Okay, I knew the judge's decision, as did everyone in the room. Her face when she sat down was not a pleasant one, but she was looking at the state's attorney and Mz. Hollander.

"Mz. Hollander, if I were your supervisor I'd be considering your termination right now." She said fiercely. "As it is, I can guarantee you that you will not receive any more summary orders from this bench until I have had time for an independent verification of your findings. I have read Mr. Killmer's file, and I am shocked and dismayed that this is the second time false charges have been made against his guardian, Mr. Young. I am therefore granting Mr. Young and Mr. Bass full, joint custody of the minor Nathan Killmer from this day forward. This custody order shall not expire until Mr. Killmer reaches his 18th birthday. Mr. Young and Mr. Bass have expressed their intent to formally adopt the minor and I urge them to follow through. They are providing the young man a fine household, a strong group of friends and family, and a fine, moral upbringing. Custody is so ordered, case closed!"

Okay, we cheered. James hopped over the banister and we were soon in a three way hug, being patted on the back by our friends and family. Robin was lifting Grandma up and spinning her around. The judge walked down and ended up shaking my hands. She had some firm words for me, but they were good ones. Then we went outside to talk to the press.

They ate up my comment about discussing Nathan's treatment by the state with an attorney to look up the potential for a lawsuit. James was ecstatic and confirmed our intentions to adopt Nathan. The cancelled show was going to rescheduled for a day late, and the guys would lose a free-day, but they all let the press know it was worth it to be here to support us and to perform for their fans.

We finally left the courthouse steps after two dozen questions or so and went to lunch. There were problems finding a table big enough, but we sorted it out eventually. It was an excited affair, with both Nathan and James excited about the outcome. The only dark spot was James' cell phone ringing and Johnny telling them their tickets were changed to a flight for tonight.

Oh well. We snuck off to the restroom with Manuel standing guard for us. They had to head to the airport right after lunch. Lynn stayed the night, as did my grandparents. I didn't even bother trying to get Nathan to sleep in his own bed. He went to sleep with me holding him, both of us crying soft tears of relief that the ordeal was over, and it was over so quickly.

Little did we know just how wrong we were...

I hope to continue...