Phalen

This story was originally posted in February, 2005 in the College section on Nifty. This new version "fleshes-out" many of the characters and seeks to address items I felt were lacking in the original. The essence of the story remains the same.

This story contains portrayals of homosexual acts and lifestyles. There may be references to, or explicit descriptions of sex between consenting adults.

If homosexuality, sexually explicit language, or swearing offends you, or if reading material that contains these topics violates any law or personal or religious beliefs, please leave now without reading any further.

If you are under 18 years of age, you may not read this story because it is against the law.

This story is entirely fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons are completely coincidental.

Roy roynm@mac.com

Phalen, Chapter One

The clamor of my fellow students faded as I headed outside into the bright light. In three years I still hadn't become accustomed to the Arizona sunshine, nor to the heat.

"I love this place," I thought, looking at the palms and flowering plants that cover the campus. I couldn't begin to describe the smells . . . The orange trees had finished blossoming a few weeks ago. Their scent was only a pleasant memory. The olive tree blossoms were now taking center stage. Later, something else would follow in a seemingly endless progression of color and fragrance.

"Everyone seems oblivious to all this beauty," I thought as I strolled across campus. I grew up in Finland, a beautiful country, though totally alien to my current surroundings. Arizona was wonderful -- the desert, the heat -- everything. It was spectacular.

My name is Jeff. It's Jeff Layson actually. I'm a senior studying architecture at Arizona State. I had just finished a three-hour presentation, which capped a grueling six-week-long design project. The presentation had gone well, and I was pleased. I was however, beginning to experience the typical post-project letdown.

Architecture students face unique challenges. I've not met any other student who must work eighteen hours or more a day for weeks at a time, to develop a solution to a single problem. Then when each of us has reached the breaking point, we face a jury panel of experts to explain and defend our design.

The jury's job is to make us learn to think on our feet, responding to different questions and viewpoints while using our solution as the basis for the response. I learned early on that if a panel senses that you are not absolutely convinced that your solution is the best, they would eat you alive. Some of my classmates had been reduced to tears by sleep deprivation and the unrelenting pressure of the jury.

After the panel is through with you, it's your classmate's turn to put you through the wringer. Someone I knew said that they felt "folded, stapled and mutilated," after finishing their critique. I didn't feel that bad, though I was exhausted both mentally and physically, and my week's work had yet to begin.

I noticed Brad, one of my classmates follow me out of the architecture building. "Great presentation Jeff," he said, as he slapped my back then headed off to enjoy Spring Break.

I waved my thanks to his retreating figure.

During the past few days all he talked about was the trip to Mexico he and some guys were planning. He was continually talking about how he wanted to get some sun. "There's plenty of sun right outside the door," I often thought, as he would describe his plans. "On the other hand, Mexico did have the ocean and the beach. We didn't have that here."

"I'll bet Brad's butt looks great in a swimsuit," I thought, watching him stride away. I didn't even want to imagine what the suit's pouch might contain. "On the other hand maybe they're going to a nude beach," I smiled as my daydream continued. "Nah, Brad would surely have said something about that."

I shook my head. "Get back to reality Jeff."

I was going to move into my new house this week. I had worked on the house's design for a long time, approaching it as I would a school project. I was so proud. It was my first real project, as well as my first house. None of my classmates knew that the project I had spent so much of my free time on was my own place. It was probably just as well. I didn't want to face a group of jealous classmates at my next presentation.

The semester had been tough for me, juggling both my class load and overseeing construction at the building site. Progress on the house had gone slowly, frustrating me at times. I had spent years dreaming of living in the house, and I wanted to see it finished quickly. I often wondered if "real architects" had as many problems and delays as I did during those six months. I knew, of course, that they did. It was just that I had never experienced those frustrations before. "Still," I thought, "I've gained some valuable experience and a new house besides."

"Jeff, you just standing there enjoying the sun or what?" laughed Thian, as he walked up to me. I had met Thian a few weeks earlier, when he asked to share my table during lunch, and I had instantly fallen under the spell of those light brown eyes and blond hair. Since then he seemed to go out of his way to speak to me.

"Hey, what's happening?" I said returning his smile. I had fantasized about Thian often, since that first encounter. I had learned that he and his twin brother Kerin were on the school's gymnastics team. "No wonder Thian has such a great body," I thought.

It was a turn-on to merely watch him. Every move was like that of a dancer, fluid and controlled. It was also difficult not to notice the muscles rippling underneath his clothing. "This man was definitely fantasy material."

"No," I responded to his question about the sun. "I'm in a bit of a daze really. I just finished a big presentation. It takes a little while to come back to reality after one of those," I said nodding toward the architecture school. "I was also thinking about my move to the new house. I've got lots of work to do and I'm exhausted before I've begun."

"Steady Jeff," I chided myself. "Rein in those thoughts or you'll embarrass yourself."

"That's right! This is the week you move in isn't it? Hey, if you need some help Kerin and I don't have anything special planned. We'd be happy to help out. Give us a call --- that is if you think you can put up with Kerin's antics." I just smiled. I had yet to meet his brother.

Thian spoke often of his brother. Even in a brief conversation, Kerin's name appeared prominently. I had never known any twins. Maybe I was witnessing a bit of that "special bond" that they are said to possess. I found it difficult to imagine two people that look exactly like Thian. The thought made my knees weak.

We exchanged cell numbers as he explained that his brother was a big clown. "That's really the only way that one can tell us apart. He's always cracking some sort of lame joke. Just the fact that he's having fun though, makes other people laugh along with him. I tend to be a little more serious. Kerin calls me 'intense'," his brother's name again making an appearance.

"Thanks for the number Jeff," he said as he stuffed the piece of paper and its number into his pocket and started on his way. "Maybe I'll call you to see how things are going with the move." He smiled as he walked off, turning around to wave.

"Damn, I thought. I love a beautiful smile.

I started off across campus toting my laptop bag. "I'm going home," I thought as my spirits continued to increase. "I don't have to see my roomies again! No more all night parties with squealing girls. I wouldn't have to get up in the morning and face a house full of empty bottles and bleary-eyed partiers. Yep, I'm going home for the first time," I thought smiling as I envisioned a naked Thian ready to jump into my pool.

I'm not really sure what I expected would happen if Thian were standing naked in front of me. When it came to sex, I was curious but terrified at the same time. I felt as if I was facing a brick wall that I wanted to breach, but was afraid of what might be on the other side.

Being intimate with Thian was a fantasy that I yearned for, especially at night, laying alone in bed. My imaginary Thian was kind and gentle in his lovemaking. He didn't take advantage of me, call me names, hit me, or force me to do things I didn't want to. My fantasy was everything my ideal sex partner should be. My actual experience was exactly the opposite.

As a six year-old, I learned all about sex, and that year-long experience shaped my life. I learned that sex was something one forced on another. It was rough, and painful and left a person feeling dirty and confused.

My sexual education began when my first grade teacher and another man raped me almost daily. They never left physical marks on me that would give them away. The only marks they left were psychological.

Before entering primary school, I had many friends. When the abuse started, I began shutting people out of my life, isolating myself so I wouldn't be hurt any more.

I especially avoided adults. My parents never seemed to notice how I shuddered on those rare times when they would hug me. They never asked why I no longer had any friends.

I believed that friends were only waiting for a chance to hurt me. People who did notice me saw a moody boy that never laughed, and easily cried.

I was afraid to tell anyone about what was happening to me. While they were raping me, my teachers told me that I was a "bad boy" and I was being punished. My older brother Pat was always being called a "bad boy" by my parents. I didn't want to be like him, but as hard as I tried, I never could figure out what I had done wrong.

My teachers warned me that if I told anyone about what they did to me they would tell everyone how bad I had been. In the mind of a six year-old their logic made sense.

Each night I would tell my cat, Kissa, what was happening to me. My brother made fun of me for naming my cat Kissa, because in Finnish the name means cat. I liked the name and she didn't seem to mind.

I could talk to Kissa because she couldn't hurt me. She would sit on my lap and listen.

Then one day my mother told me Kissa had run away. I couldn't believe it. Now I had no one to talk to. I was completely alone.

Without Kissa to listen to me I cried myself to sleep almost every night.

When I entered second grade, my old teacher and his friend were gone. The new teacher was nice and I tried to be good, but I never knew if she had friends that were going to punish me.

As I grew older I realized the twisted arguments the teachers had used to keep me from telling someone about what was happening to me. At the same time I also began to realize that I was attracted to other boys my own age.

I was devastated. I knew those men had done this to me. If I gave in to my growing sexual needs, I feared either that I would be hurt or that I would hurt someone, and become as bad as my teachers.

My solace was my grandfather. He was "safe" because I only communicated with him by email. I was able to write of many things that I told no one else. He learned of my dreams, but never of my secret. He nurtured by growing interest in architecture, and would always take the thoughts of a young boy seriously.

It was he who suggested that I apply for a scholarship at an architecture school in the States. He knew I wasn't happy where I was, and thought a change might be good for me.

I applied to the school he recommended and was pleased when I was accepted and was granted a full scholarship. I could finally leave all the bad memories behind.

I told my parents of the scholarship and of my plans to go back to the States. My father looked up from the newspaper and congratulated me. My mother didn't acknowledge that I had said anything. I wanted to leave immediately, but still had to graduate from high school.

A few days later my father knocked on my bedroom door and asked if he could come in.

He sat on a chair facing me, our knees almost touching. I didn't know what to expect. This was a new experience for me. We both sat for a few moments in silence, then he reached out and took both my hands in his.

"Jeff, I want to tell you how sorry I am for not being there when you were growing up. I know that you've been unhappy for a long time, but I never knew how to approach you. Parents are expected to know how to do these things, but I'm sorry to say, I don't, and you have suffered because of it. What I should have done long ago is come to you like this and ask how I could help. I'm sorry I didn't do that. If you'll let me, I would like to begin a new relationship with you. I'm proud of you and want to do better by you."

I watched my father as he spoke to me. It was obvious that he was struggling to say something to convince me of his sincerity. It was through his touch rather than his words that I was convinced. I could almost feel the pain he was experiencing. I remember wondering if he could feel my pain as well.

He had been talking to me with bowed head. When he finally looked up, I could tell that he did feel my hurt. As tears ran down my cheeks, I remember thinking that what we had just experienced in a touch was much more significant that the words he was speaking.

We looked into each other's eyes a few moments longer, continuing our silent conversation. Then he blinked and again looked down, perhaps realizing the depth of my hurt.

While my father sat in front of me holding my hands, looking into my eyes, I realized that I shouldn't blame him or my mother for not coming to the aid of their six year-old son. I had tried to handle everything myself and had not asked for help.

"More than anything, I want you to be happy," he continued. "I hope you'll find the happiness that you're looking for back in the States. I just ask one thing. Please don't leave and shut me out. Whether you realize it or not your mother and I love you dearly."

He looked up at me again and swallowed a couple times before continuing. "Jeff, would you give us a chance?" he said standing up and drawing me into the embrace that I had been in need of for twelve years.

He held me until I stopped sobbing, then kissed me on the cheek.

As he was closing the bedroom door he looked back at me with tears of his own and said, "Jeff, I'm going to miss you." Then he closed the door.

This was the father that I never had while growing up. I couldn't forget the things that had happened to me as a child, but when he said he loved me, I believed that I could somehow overcome my past, and still have a connection to my father.

The culture shock that I experienced when I arrived in the States was amazing. I was born an American yet I knew nothing of America. The entire society was so different from what I was accustomed to. I knew nothing about sports, for instance, or popular music, U.S. history -- or dating rituals. Everyone around me had grown up learning these things. I felt even more isolated than I did at home. I knew, of course, that I wasn't the only foreign student on campus, but it was things that I personally experienced every day that mattered most to me. The fact that I increasingly felt drawn to men only made me feel my isolation more. Even with these obstacles, I still believed that I had been given a fresh start and that it was up to me to make the best of it.

As my freshman year of college progressed, I found myself being accepted by my classmates, and I became friends with many of them. I was still afraid to let down my guard, even with people I considered friends, lest those friendships become intimate. It was a strange situation. I was doing everything I could to prevent intimacy, yet being intimate with someone was exactly what I wanted most.

Friends told me that they couldn't understand why I didn't "hook-up" with someone. One of my female classmates told me once, "You're a nice guy Jeff, and you've got a cute accent. All the girls love your green eyes and black hair. Face it Jeff, you're a fantasy for most of us." I just blushed at her description and wondered if I was a fantasy to any of the men in my class as well.

After my lunchtime encounter with Thian he became the first person that I hoped I might become close to sexually. He was a nice guy who seemed to find something attractive in me as well.

He had become my favorite masturbation fantasy. Thinking of masturbation I realized that I had not shot off in days. "That's probably why I'm so horny," I thought as I turned down my street. "Those damn school projects really screw things up. There's not even enough time to beat off! Foregoing masturbation, in order to study must be the mark of a dedicated student." I smiled at the notion that all the guys from class were, at that very moment, rushing home to relieve themselves.

For weeks my masturbation fantasies had centered on Thian. I would dream of caressing his chest then teasing his nipples between my thumb and forefinger until they were firm. I fantasized how I would like to tease his cock, running my fingers down the underside, then over his balls and between his legs to his pucker.

My dreams never went beyond foreplay though. If I tried to think of having actual sex with Thian, or anybody else for that matter, I ran into the brick wall of my primary school memories. I told myself that foreplay was enough. It would have to be enough until I could break down the wall.

A person I took to be my next-door neighbor waved to me as I approached my house.

"Hello!" he said, breaking into my erotic daydream. It took me a second to get back to reality.

"Hi, how ya doing?"

"You must be our new neighbor. I'm Larry Weston," he said, extending his hand. "Welcome to the neighborhood.

"Thanks, I sure am glad to be here. My old roommates are having some sort of big celebration party because of Spring Break, so I decided to stay at my new place tonight, even though it's empty."

"Are you a student?"

"Yeah, I'm a senior at ASU. I'm majoring in architecture. This is my first real project."

"You designed this?" he said, gesturing to my house. I nodded.

"Are you going to be living with your parents?" Larry asked.

"No, they live in Finland. My grandfather died recently and left me enough money and orders to build my 'dream home'. So this is it," I said pointing to the house next door. He was an architect, and the two of us collaborated on the design. My grandfather is the main reason I'm studying architecture.

"I've not seen many designs like yours in Phoenix," Larry said. "Is it a particular style?"

"Yes, it's called New Mexico Territorial. My grandfather lived in New Mexico and I fell in love with the forms when I visited him once. Designs in this style normally have a simple facade facing the street, and open up to courtyards once you're inside. That type of thing is typical in places like Italy and Spain. My house does the same thing.

"Would you like a tour?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'd love it."

I admired my neighbor as he ran to tell his wife where he would be. He was obviously accustomed to outdoor sports. He had the long legs of a runner, which were shown off by a pair of very brief jogging shorts. "Those shorts should be banned in public," I mused as I watched the muscles of his butt bunch with each stride.

"What a package he must have," I thought as he jogged back to join me. With each stride I was sure that the shorts wouldn't be able to contain his balls. This man was definitely a hunk.

"Ease up Jeff," I said to myself. You're giving this guy a tour, not taking him to bed!"

"I noticed that you're wearing a university t-shirt," I said as he got back to me, and we began walking to my house. "Do you teach?"

"No I'm a lawyer, though I did graduate from ASU. My son will be a freshman next year. He's going to ASU on a baseball scholarship."

"No kidding? I'll have to go to a game to cheer for him. I've never seen a baseball game."

He looked at me as if I was from another planet. I could see that it was impossible for him to imagine someone who had never seen a baseball game.

"I grew up out of the country," I said. "Hockey was the big thing there. Before coming to the States I never heard of baseball. My favorite sport has always been swimming. I run once in awhile but not seriously. I guess I wouldn't be called a great sports fan. Maybe that's because I don't know anything about what I'm watching."

"Phalen will clue you in about baseball. In fact he'll probably tell you more than you want to know about the game," he said laughing as we walked up my driveway. "Oh, by the way, Phalen is my son. He's the main reason I've paid so much attention to your house. He's been out here bothering the contractor since construction started, asking questions. He's probably as familiar with the place as you are," he said with a smile.

"If he's at home maybe he'd like to join us for a look around."

"He should be home shortly. He's at a ball game right now. I'll give Helen, my wife, a call and ask her to send him over if it's okay with you?"

"Sure, I'd love to show the place off," I said as I went about unlocking the door and turning off the alarm, while he called his wife.

I knew Larry would be surprised when I opened the door. I wasn't disappointed. "Oh man, we're still outside! I thought that this was the front door."

"This is one of the courtyards I mentioned," I explained. "Most of the rooms face either a courtyard or the backyard. They make the house feel much bigger than it really is," I said, finally leading him through the front door into the house.

"Wow!" Larry said as we went in the door. "The place is so open. I love the brick floors. I noticed that you have also brick around the top of the outside walls. Is that typical of this type of architecture?

"Yes it is, just like the wood detailing around the doors and courtyard windows."

What's this?" he said gesturing to the room we were standing in. His attention had been drawn to the high ceiling and clerestory windows. The fans were turning slowly providing a light breeze.

"I call it a sunroom, because of all the windows in the clerestory and as well as the French doors leading out to the courtyard. I wanted a place where I could put some tall plants and they wouldn't die for lack of sun. Besides Phoenix means 'sun' to me. I'm accustomed to long dark winters. I want my house to be open to the outdoors and the sunlight.

I pointed to the fireplace at the opposite end of the room. "It seems strange to have a fireplace in Phoenix, I know, but growing up in snow country, I had to have a fireplace in my house.

"It's almost as important as the sauna."

"Is that how the word should be pronounced," Larry asked.

"Yes it is. Most people pronounce the word (SAW-na). The correct pronunciation is like (SOW-na)."

"You have one of those in your house?"

"Sure, no Finnish home would be without one. Traditionally, a person is supposed to go directly from the sauna and romp naked in the snow and beat ones-self with birch branches. Since we aren't likely to have any snow, I figured I wouldn't plant any birch trees. I plan on just jumping into the pool."

Larry didn't recognize my feeble attempt at a joke, but continued on his 'self-guided' tour. "I'm getting an education," he said smiling. "Birch branches?" I nodded.

"Sorry Larry, once I start talking it's difficult to stop me. It's that architect-thing, you know? We all have big egos and like to show off." I said with a wink.

"I'll bet this will be really comfortable once you get some furniture in it," Larry continued as he walked around the living room, and wandered over to look at the back yard. "Cool, a lap pool. You told me you were a swimmer. This sure is a great place."

"I was wondering why the high walls in the back yard?" he said as we walked outside. "Are you trying to hide something?" he joked.

"Just my naked body," I said, watching for his reaction. "I hate clothes, much to my mother's chagrin. She had a terrible time keeping me dressed. Nudity's not such a big deal in Finland as it is in the States. She thought nudity was fine as long as it wasn't she, my father or me that was nude," I laughed. "I decided that I would put up high walls so I wouldn't scare the neighbors, but also because of the pool. I don't want someone jumping the wall and hurting themselves."

"A nudist, huh? That's really cool," he said surprising me with his response. "I went to a nude beach with the wife once. She hated it. I thought it was hot! --- Say, you don't have wild nude parties with screaming girls and things, do you?" he said looking suddenly worried. "This is a pretty quiet neighborhood."

"No, no girls screaming. And if I have any parties, I'll make sure and invite you, so you won't wonder what's happening on the other side of the tall walls," I said smiling.

"That's great! I'll bring the beer. I guess I won't have to ask what to wear," he said laughing and slapping me on the back.

"Hello, is it okay if I come in?" we heard someone shout as we came back inside.

"That's Phalen! Come on in Phalen," Larry shouted.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Larry's son was one of the sexiest men I had ever seen. Thian paled in comparison. Phalen entered the house wide-eyed, trying to see everything at once, oblivious to both his father and me.

"Hey Phalen," Larry said as he put his hand on his son's shoulder and guided him over to where I was standing. "I'd like you to meet Jeff, our new neighbor. Jeff, this is my son, Phalen."

"Hi Phalen, I'm glad to meet you," I said as I offered him my hand.

When he realized that I had spoken to him he turned. "Oh wow," he said so low I could barely hear him. He took my hand in a firm handshake, giving me a smile that would melt your heart.

I swear I felt sparks when we touched! He was drop-dead gorgeous. His black hair looked like he had just stepped from the shower, and his blue eyes sparkled with amusement. He knew that I was having a difficult time looking away.

This silent communication went on for just a second, while Larry rambled on about something. I don't think Phalen was listening to his father. I knew I wasn't.

Phalen was slightly shorter than my six-foot height and was obviously an athlete. Today, he was wearing a pair of shorts only a little less revealing than his father's, and a t-shirt. The shorts were tight enough to show off a nicely rounded butt, while the t-shirt covered his wide shoulders and a couple of firm nipples. He wasn't an over-developed body builder. He was just about perfect.

I was brought back to reality by my cell ringing. It was a buddy that I had made arrangements with to help me move. He told me that he was going to have to cancel. Something had come up. I closed the phone, wondering how I was going to handle things.

"Is everything okay," Larry asked. "You look as if someone gave you some bad news."

"That was a friend of mine. He was going to help me move my stuff, but called to say that he had to cancel. I'm just wondering who I'll be able to scare up at this late date." I thought to myself that maybe Thian would be willing, but he had volunteered only to "help", not stay for a few days.

"I'll help you," said Phalen. "We just started Spring Break today, and I was planning on just hanging out. I'd be happy to lend a hand."

Larry looked pleased that his son had made the offer. "Good going Phalen, if you hadn't offered, I was going to volunteer you to help," he said jokingly, giving his son a playful punch on the shoulder.

"Watch it dad!" Phalen said becoming animated as he returned the punch. You're dealing with a big-time jock here. You know we can take down anybody. Just don't tempt me," he said before he broke into heavy giggles. I could tell this was a long-standing joke between the two.

I looked on, admiring the interaction between father and son. It was so alien to my own experiences. I was jealous that my father and I had never been that close.

"Time out!" Larry called as his cell rang. He looked at the ID and quickly said, "gotta go guys, the office is calling. Thanks for the tour Jeff. See ya later big-time jock," he said waving to us as he jogged out the front door.

"Hey bud, your father's been telling me what a great guy you are. I'm glad you were able to come by," I said trying to get him to relax a little. He seemed fine when his father was here, but the second Larry left he seemed to become quiet, watching me with those blue eyes. "I understand you've been bugging the contractor to explain things about the house."

"Yeah, well I wasn't actually bugging him -- but I was over a lot. I just love watching things get built," he said giving me another one of those smiles.

"Oh shit. I'm in love!"

"Well, the place is finished, and you're welcome to ask all the questions you want. Let's take a look around.

"You know, this is the first time that I've seen the house without all the contractor's equipment in it," I rambled on. I wasn't sure if I was talking to cover my shyness, or to get him to relax. "My old roommates are having a party tonight so I've decided to stay here and rough it until my furniture starts showing up tomorrow.

"Uh -- the contractor said the owner designed the house. Are you an architect?" he said starting to look around again.

"No, I'm a student, though I plan on being an architect. This is my first project.

"What are you going to do with this much space? This house is like one of those lofts I've read about. Do you have a roommate?" he asked as we walked towards the bedrooms. "Three bedrooms?"

"I'll use the big one as my bedroom," I said.

"This is my office," I said stepping into the adjacent room. "That's why there are so many electrical, telephone and computer outlets. A computer-wiz friend is going to set it up for me. The third bedroom is for guests."

"Oh, wow, you've got water in the pool!" he said getting excited as we headed back into the living room. "Can we go outside?" He was obviously overcoming his shyness.

"Sure, let's go."

"This is so cool!" he said as we stood on the pool's brick deck. I've always thought that this is like, the best back yard I've ever seen. No one I know has a pool!"

He turned around, taking in everything, "Outstanding, you've added a hot tub too! The contractor told me you had something special planned, but then he put up those walls and I never saw what he was talking about. This is awesome," he said turning around again. "Man, I love this place. You know, I used to dream that this was my house," he said as he looked down, shy again.

"Hey guy, you can come over here anytime, and stay as long as you want. You've most likely spent more time in the house than I have." I smiled and patted his back while we went back inside. I wanted to touch this man like no one before.

"You sure? I don't want to be any trouble, but it would be really cool. Hey, I could lay out by the pool and you could bring me a cool drink whenever I rang a bell or something," he said in the same teasing voice he had used with his father.

"In your dreams. You'll have to get your own drink, but don't ask for one tonight. There's nothing here, not even a refrigerator. You'll have to wait till tomorrow."

"Are you going to stay here, I mean tonight?" he asked wide eyed.

I nodded.

"Man, the place is empty. Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? I can understand roughing it, but this is too much!"

I just stood and watched the transformation that had overcome him.

Laughing, he turned and rushed from the room, calling back, "Yep, just as I expected," he said returning from taking a look in a bathroom. "You haven't thought this out dude. You don't even have any toilet paper! What's the plan?" he said as I tried to hide my embarrassment at my lack of preparation.

"I obviously don't have a plan," I laughed. "I just knew that I wanted to be away from my old place ASAP. I'll figure something out. --- I know, I'll call out for pizza, and ask them for lots of extra napkins! How about that?

"Come to think of it, pizza sounds good. Wanna join me?"

"Sure thing, but you need other stuff too. You didn't bring anything?" he asked incredulously.

"Just me and my laptop. I came here straight from class."

"Well, no problemo, I gotcha covered," he laughed. You call for the pizza and I'll be back in a few, with the goods," he yelled as he ran out the door.

I looked around the room. "Damn, it sure would be nice to have a chair," I thought, as I wandered into the sunroom, finally sitting on the floor, my back against the wall. I ordered the pizza and stretched out my legs looking around. I loved the way the sunlight came in through the sunroom's clerestory windows lighting up everything. Like Larry said, this was a nice room.

"If we ever have a cool night, I'm going to enjoy the fireplace too," I thought. Someday I'm going to lay there in front a fire in the arms of another man," I promised myself. I leaned my head against the wall and smiled. I was as contented as I could ever recall being.

"It's sad," I thought. "I don't have anyone to share my good fortune with." I was still lost in thought when Phalen returned carrying an armload of stuff. "Surely, he hadn't had time to gather up all that. He's only been gone a few minutes." I thought.

"Jeff, I'm back! And, am I loaded!" Dad must have had the same thoughts as me, 'cause he had a whole shit-load of stuff waiting at the front door! Look," he said as he pulled something out of a bag with a flourish. Ta da! Toilet paper. Yep, Phalen's here to bring you all the conveniences of home.

"Damn, what was dad thinking?" he said, half to himself as he continued pulling things from the bag. "He must have been reading my mind. Everything I was thinking of is already here. Look, he even sent over an air mattress and a couple pillows, so you don't have to sleep on the hard floor," he laughed.

"Two pillows?" I thought.

"And then there's this," he said as he held up a six-pack of beer, looking at me strangely. Dad handed it to me as I was leaving the house and told me to have a good time. That's totally weird. He's never done anything like that before. I mean, I didn't even know we had any beer in the fucking house, and then he hands me a six-pack and tells me to have a good time. Oh, and then he says, 'there's no need to hurry home'. I wonder what's going on?"

"Well, let's not worry about it. Let's have a beer! The pizza is on its way."

"Way cool," he said as he high-fived me. "Whatever's going on I like it." He grinned at me as he opened one of the beers and took a drink.

"I'd ask you to have a seat -- if I had one to offer," I said. "Unless your dad hid a couple inflatables in one of those bags."

He comically rummaged around in the bags, declaring, "Nope, no chairs in here, just the air mattress. I'll try blowing it up, okay?" he said as he took a couple more swallows of his beer.

I stood and watched him struggle. He kept crawling around on the mattress, which he had spread out on the living room floor, obviously looking for a way to inflate the thing.

"What's happening, Phalen? Can't figure which end to blow into?"

"Shit, he laughed, I guess I shoulda been in the Scouts or something. I'd probably have one of those how-to-inflate-an-air-mattress badges. It can't be this difficult! This is worse than facing a left-handed pitcher," he said laughing at his own joke.

I wondered what a left-handed pitcher was.

I give up, you do it," he said as he rolled onto his stomach, raising himself up on his elbows and smiling.

"Phalen, I said squatting down and taking him by the shoulders. "Have you ever had a beer before?"

"Nope, he giggled. You think I'm drunk? I haven't even finished the first beer. I can't be drunk! No one gets drunk on half a beer --- do they?" He didn't wait for my answer, but started laughing again.

"Something more than the beer is going on here," I thought. "He seems almost giddy."

"No, normally half a beer isn't enough to have this effect. Your dad, said you'd played in a baseball game before coming over here, right?"

"Yep."

"Did you have anything to eat after the game?"

"Nope," he tried to say seriously. "You mean I'm drunk on half a beer? Well, that explains why I feel so fucking good!" he crowed. I haven't felt this good in --- ever," he exclaimed, laughing harder.

"Let's go outside. I'm going to sit on the edge of the pool with my feet in the water," I said. "C'mon, join me. We can talk while we wait for the pizza. Maybe you just need some air."

"Yep, air -- gotta love it," he laughed, following me outside.

Leaving the house, I noticed that the sun was close to setting, signaling an end to the worst heat of the day. Even so, it was still warm, and I was glad that we would be sitting in the shade cast by the house.

I sat by the pool and began taking my shoes off. "C'mon Phalen get those trainers off and have a seat. The water's good."

"Trainers? You mean like, my shorts or something?"

"No, not your shorts, your tennis shoes. Where I grew up, that's what they're called. I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget which words to use."

"Oh, trainers huh? I like that."

I watched as he bent over and began trying to undo his shoelaces. "Jeff, steady me, I feel like I'm gonna fall over."

"Smooth legs," I thought as he leaned against me. "I love the tan." While he worked at his shoes, he glanced up at me.

Phalen's brief grin caused me pause. Our behavior seemed so natural and innocent. "What are you doing Jeff?" I thought as Phalen continued to struggle with his shoes, trying to maintain his balance.

He appeared to be losing his struggle with the laces.

"Phalen, stand still. Let me untie the laces. You're not going to be able to slip those shoes off if they're tied. Do you usually have this much trouble?"

"Nope, must be the beer."

He moved his foot closer to me then leaned over and grabbed my shoulders in order to maintain his balance. His face was only a short distance from mine. I could feel his breath, but I refused to look up. If I did, I knew he would sense my confusion.

I fought down an instant of panic as his grip on my shoulders tightened, but I automatically untying his laces.

I felt flushed and confused, yet I noticed that a nightingale's song joined the evening sound of crickets, as I tried to breathe evenly.

Phalen didn't seem to notice my distress, as he sat down so close to me our bare legs were about to touch.

"Um --- so, Phalen. Tell me some more about yourself. Your father told me that you plan baseball. I've never seen a baseball game."

"What?"

"I didn't grow up in the States," I said in justification. "We didn't have baseball. We had hockey mostly." I thought for a couple seconds. "I never did like hockey. I hope baseball's better than that."

"Sure it is! I'll have to get you to a game. I know! Let's go to a Diamondbacks game!" he said getting excited

"Diamondbacks?"

"Yeah, they're the Phoenix pro team. I'll explain everything. You'll love it. This is gonna be so cool!"

Phalen became excited as he described his plans to expose me to a baseball game, and began moving his feet from side to side in the water causing small waves. With each stroke of his feet in the water, we touched legs. I almost flinched with the erotic pleasure of each brief touch.

When he paused to take a couple more swallows of his beer I asked him if he was feeling any better.

"Yep, I'm damn good. I'm having the best time ever," he continued, still obviously feeling the effects of the beer. "I'm sitting here with a totally hot dude. Why wouldn't I be having a good time?"

In the brief pause, when both of us realized what he had said, the pool lights came on, casting their rippling light, letting me see Phalen's shocked expression.

"Oops," he said as he covered his mouth. "Sorry Jeff, I didn't --- well, I --- um. Fuck, I've just gone and spoiled everything! I'm sorry, for what I said."

"Sorry for what," I said turning to him and gently rubbing his back. "I think you're pretty hot yourself." I couldn't stop myself. I had to touch him.

"What did I just say?" I thought. This entire encounter is getting out of control. For an instant I thought of standing up, so I would have to stop touching him. My body refused to obey, and I continued to rub his back.

"Wha --- You do? Then you're not mad?"

"Who'd ever complain about being called, 'hot'," I teased, as he seemed to relax a little. "No, I'm not upset. I think it's great."

It was my day for being interrupted though. As I continued to rub my hand over his back, the doorbell rang.

"Must be the pizza," he said quietly.

"Yeah, must be," I said without really thinking about it. I just kept rubbing.

"Do you think one of us should go answer the door," he giggled, still feeling the effects of the beer, as he leaned into my back rub.

"Oh shit! I guess so," I said as I scrambled to make it to the door before the pizza guy thought he'd been stood, up and drove off with our dinner.

"Yum, this smells good," I said as I brought the pizza outside. Phalen was absently moving his feet in the water, making waves. "Let's eat. We can't let this baby get cold.

"You still have enough to drink?" I asked as I sat the pizza down.

"I think beer would be better cold," he said with a grin. "Yum, pepperoni, my favorite," he mumbled around his first bite of pizza. "I didn't know how hungry I was."

The moment of intimacy was lost as we both worked on easing our hunger. While we ate in silence I wondered what I should do. I wanted to be close to Phalen, but was afraid. What if things became intimate. Would I embarrass myself by losing my erection? And who knows what else might happen?"

"By the way Jeff, where did you grow up?" he said interrupting my escalating anxiety. "I noticed that you have some sort of accent and you don't know anything about baseball, so I figured that you're not from around here. I can't guess where though."

"Well, I was born in Los Angeles, but my dad was transferred to Finland soon afterward. I grew up speaking both English and Finnish. I'm told that I speak both languages with an accent. Kinda makes me exotic, don't you think?" I said as I raised my eyebrows in query.

"Jeff, you're crazy," he said as he punched me on the shoulder, pleasing me by his touch.

"Yep, that would be me," I said. "Crazy Jeff with the funny accent."

"No, it's not funny," he said quickly. "I like it, even when I don't know what you're talking about," he smiled, reaching down to the water and splashing me.

Like I said before, "I'm in love."

"I'm not going to fight this," I thought. The longer we were together the more at ease I was becoming. I even found that some of Phalen's playfulness had rubbed off on me.

"Hey boy, don't start that kind of shit with the water unless you're man enough to take the consequences! You just might find yourself over your head, so to speak!"

"Over my head? Yeah, right. Like, who's gonna stop me --- you?" Again, another splash of water. "I'm a jock, ya know," he said in a low voice, trying to be serious, then striking a pose to show me his biceps, again breaking into a spate of giggling; spoiling the effect he was trying to create. "Guys don't mess with me unless they want to be taught a lesson they'll never forget!" He was laughing so hard he could barely sit up, let alone carry out his tough-man act.

"What kind of lesson is that, tough boy?" I said, playing along. "You have something you think you can teach me? You may be some sort of jock, but remember, I come from the cold north, where men are men --- and, um --- and, everyone shivers," I finished, laughing, and splashing him back.

"I'll teach you what it means to shiver," he said as he reached over and grabbed me, pushing me onto my back. Caught by surprise, I wasn't totally able to roll out of his way, as he attempted to pin me to the ground. "Whoa, the tough jock missed," I taunted as I tried to sit up. This time, he was able to grab my arm and wrestle me onto my back, and directly on top of the pizza.

"Hey dude, I'm laying on the pizza!" I laughed, attempting to push him off.

"Yeah, right," he said. "Some guys will say anything to keep out of the clutches of super jock," he shouted, attempting to straddle me, keeping me pinned to the pizza.

"Well, I'm not one of 'em," I laughed as I pushed him off of me and into the pool.

"Whoa, shit," he laughed as he came up for air. "Good thing I took off my trainers, huh?" he said grabbing my feet and trying to drag me into the water.

"C'mon Jeff, it's only fair. I'm wet, you should be too!"

I didn't follow the logic of that, but I was able to break free of his grip long enough to grab my wallet and keys and throw them far away from the pool. I then stood up and dived into the water.

Phalen swam up to me as I surfaced. "You're too much Jeff," he laughed as he tried to push me under. As I was going down, I grabbed him and pulled him with me. We both came up laughing and behaving like a couple kids.

I was wondering if Larry was able to hear us. I'm not in the house but a couple hours and I'm in the back yard screaming --- with his son, no less. So much for the quiet neighborhood.

I would not have recognized myself. This was the first time I had ever felt totally at ease with another man. I was almost giddy with the reaction.

"Hey Jeff, what's this stuck to your back?" he said as he turned me around. I looked over my shoulder in an attempt to see what he was talking about.

"Must be the pizza. I told you I was on top of it, but you wouldn't let me up, remember? That's what this stuff floating in the water is! Hey, Phalen, you made me get pepperoni in my clean pool!"

We were both laughing so hard, looking at the floating pieces of pepperoni, I didn't realize that he had grabbed me and was urging me to take off my shirt.

"C'mon Jeff, get out of that shirt, or you're only going to make a bigger mess," he said as he tugged the shirt over my head and threw it over to the side. "There, that's better. Turn around, let's take a look," he said, gripping my shoulder. "Nope, that's not all of it."

I looked back over my shoulder, but couldn't see anything other than his serious expression. "What do you mean, 'that's not all'?"

"Dude, you got those pepperoni's and sauce all over you! Damn, you're a mess. Here, get out of those shorts. You're gonna pollute the water with all that pizza sauce, then neither of us will be able to swim," he laughed as he grabbed at my shorts in an effort to get them off.

"Hey Phalen, maybe we had better just quit for a few minutes," I temporized, trying to figure out a way to hide my erection. That was going to be pretty difficult if he got my shorts off. I wasn't wearing any underwear, so there would be nothing left to the imagination.

He wouldn't be put off though. "Nope, we gotta get these things off. You said I was getting your pool dirty. It's not me. You're the one that was laying on the pizza," he laughed as he struggled with me to get my shorts off.

"Well, okay, you sure you won't be shocked?" I said in mock seriousness.

"Shocked? I doubt it. What do you have under there anyway? Hey Jeff, hurry up, you're polluting the water," he laughed as he slid under water to pull the shorts down my legs. I just stood there and let him work, aware of my rock hard dick, now bare in the water.

I stood still, not sure what to do. All of a sudden, he surfaced with a big splash grabbing onto me to keep from going over backward. "Holy shit, Jeff, you are freeking beautiful!" he yelled, throwing my shorts over to the deck. "Why no underwear? Not that I'm complaining. I think it's hot."

"Hey guy," I said. "This is getting a little intense for me."

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were having fun," he said instantly contrite.

"Shit Phalen." I am having fun. I mean when you were underwater, wasn't it obvious? All you need to do is take one look and you'd see how much fun I'm having. I've got to tell you, I was so sexed-up after class today, all I wanted to do was to hurry home and beat off. I still haven't had the chance, so I'm pretty horny. -- I don't want to do something that both of us might regret later, just because I want to get off. Let's quit, okay?" There's nothing wrong with what we're doing, it's just that --- well --- I don't know. It's just intense."

"C'mon Jeff, don't get all choked up on me. Look, I'm having fun too," he said grabbing my hand and placing it against his crotch. "There, feel that? You think I'm going to freak on you or something just cause you're hard?"

"Phalen," I said, not taking my hand away. "I hate to admit this to you, but this entire scene is new to me. I'm not sure what to do."

"You mean you like girls? Or is this the first time you've been with a guy?" he said quietly. He still had a tight grip on my wrist as he pushed my hand against his shorts-clad penis. He was holding onto my shoulder with his other hand to help keep his balance since he is shorter than me, and couldn't stand on the bottom of the pool.

"It's the first time that I've ever done anything like this. Some stuff in my past has prevented me from ever getting close to a guy. I'm embarrassed."

"Stuff?" he asked.

I nodded, not willing to elaborate.

"Why be embarrassed with me? I don't know about you, but I'm a freeking virgin," he said quietly. I've never even touched another guy and it's about killed me. I mean I'm so out of it, I don't even know the name of the game."

"I'd never have guessed. You certainly got me out of my clothes fast enough."

"Yeah, well, let's blame it on the beer." he said grinning.

"You know something I'd like to do?" he said moving closer to me. "I'd like to see if I can taste the pizza on your lips. You think you'd like that, sexy man?"

I immediately tensed-up when it became obvious that we were leaving horseplay behind and were moving into sex play. All of my fears returned. Could I do what I was longing to do? Would Phalen understand if I had to go slow?

When Phalen touched me though, he was gentle. As he moved closer, the look in his eyes was of lust not of domination, and his lips touching my neck brought shivers of pleasure, where I had only experienced fear and pain before.

"Fuck, yeah," I sighed, as he nuzzled my neck, gently licking his way over my jaw and finally brushing his soft lips against mine. I stood in the warm water, holding him close as he slowly kissed me, becoming more insistent with each passing moment.

"Oh Phalen, this is so good," I said while he again nuzzled my neck. "Thank you."

"Oh babe," he whispered, as he played with my hair and licked one of my ears. "You're the reason it's great. I knew from the moment I saw you that I wanted to touch you," he said kissing me again. "Why are you thanking me?"

"You will never know how I've longed for a touch like yours," I said. "I've never been touched like this before." I was beginning to relax enough to enjoy what was happening.

After a while, he pulled back slightly and sighed. I opened my eyes and looked up catching a twinkle in those blue eyes. "Hella good kisser, you are Jeff," he said breaking a string of saliva that connected us. "Couldn't ask for better."

"If you're so inexperienced," I said. "How would you know if I'm a good kisser?"

"My dick is telling me," he said pressing against me. "Let's get out of the pool. I'm getting cold," he said. "I want to lay next to you, skin-to-skin and taste some more of your mouth. Deal?"

"Good deal, Phalen, though I don't think I'll last long, if you're laying next to me naked." Deep down I was wondering if I would be able to maintain my erection. If something happened to remind me of my childhood, I was sure I would go limp.

"That's cool, I'm 'bout ready to shoot just standing here, and I don't want to do that. I'd like to shoot off together, rubbing against each other, as we're making out. Besides," he chuckled, "I won't be next to you. I'll be on top of you."

I was able to swim to the edge of the pool. For Phalen, weighted down with his clothes, swimming was more difficult. By the time he got to the edge, I was on the deck reaching out to give him a hand.

"Just a minute. Stand up and let me see what you look like."

I self-consciously stood up so he could see me naked. My dick was sticking straight out, drooling in anticipation of what was to come. "So far so good," I thought. "Maybe I shouldn't worry."

"Absolutely freeking beautiful," he said, so only I could hear. "Move closer," he said pointing to where he wanted me to stand. "Now, squat down. C'mon, squat down right here in front of me," he insisted, seeing my hesitation.

I moved to where he had told me to stand and slowly squatted down facing him.

"That's it babe," he crooned as he leaned over and licked the head of my dick. "Yum," he said licking his lips and smiling. "Way better than pizza --- for sure."

I stood up quickly. "You can't do that again, or I'll shoot off in your mouth."

"Time enough for that later. And believe me, big man, I'm looking forward to it."

"You sure you've never done this before? You seem to know what you're doing."

"Nope, this is a first. You're just inspiring --- most definitely."

"I'm yours," I teased.

"Yeah, and I hope to keep it that way," he whispered in my ear as he again took me in his arms. "C'mere Jeff, help me get out of these clothes. Hurry up, my balls are 'bout ready to burst!"

I wanted to take my time undressing him. He had other ideas, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet in eagerness. "Hurry up dude, I need to get naked, quick! I'm going crazy here and you want to go slow. Now's not the time!"

"You're acting like you've gotta pee," I teased. "All that bouncing around."

Finally, he stepped out of his shorts and jock and stood there naked. I guess he realized that I had stopped to admire him, because he held his arms out and turned around once as I admired his flat stomach and his penis standing proudly from a dense black pubic bush, his muscled chest and round butt. I couldn't think of anything to say, he was perfect.

He didn't wait for me to say anything, "I can tell you like what you see," he said with a chuckle. Now, let's get inside, I'm hurting here! How can you be so calm?" He rushed into the living room and began searching through the bags Larry had sent over, looking for a towel. "Ah ha!" he exclaimed. "Dad, once again to the rescue," he shouted as he threw me a towel.

"Oh shit, I forgot about the fucking air mattress! I never did get the thing inflated, and here I am 'bout to burst! Help, Jeff! You know how to work this thing?"

"As a sexy guy I know, once said, 'no problemo.' All you have to do is turn this dial and it inflates itself."

"How quick is it?" he asked anxiously, again bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. I went over to take him in my arms, but he moved away.

"Back off Jeff! You touch me and I'm gonna shoot. I'm almost there just looking at you. If you touch me, I'm a goner. C'mon, come on," he urged the air mattress.

He was quite a sight, bouncing lightly, urging the air mattress on as it slowly inhaled. With each bounce his thick dick bobbed up and down. When the air mattress was close to being fully inflated, he faced me and said seriously, "Dude, if the damn front door bell rings, or the phone rings, or anything else happens, you're going to ignore it! Hear me? You are mine tonight, and no way am I gonna to share you with anyone. Got it?"

"Yes sir," I responded with a grin.

"Good, now get your cute butt over here and let's play."

He put his arms around me and we wrestled playfully until he was resting the entire length of his body on top of me, our tongues doing battle. Gone were the slow and gentle kisses that we had shared a few minutes ago. This was frenzy, the final release of years of waiting for both of us.

Phalen grabbed my hands, twining his fingers with mine, pushing my arms above my head. I tensed as a reflex, but Phalen's aggressiveness was borne of passion, not anger. He held me in place, continuing to kiss me while he roughly ground our two dicks together.

It didn't take but a few moments before we both started gasping for breath. We knew that we were close, and we became even more frenzied, as our sensitized dicks rubbed against each other's. Finally, Phalen thrust his tongue deep into my mouth and moaned. He gave a few final lunges against me and we both shot off; mixing each other's cum together as our passion wound down.

Phalen continued a slow motion rocking, kissing my neck, then my cheek and finally gently pressing his lips against my closed eyes.

"Jeff," he whispered. "That was way awesome. Better than I ever thought it could be. I could easily become addicted to you --- ya know?"

"You're way slippery dude!" I said imitating him. "What do you think we should do about it?

"I think we should lay here a little longer. I don't want to get up yet."

"Who said anything about getting up? I want to taste what we shot."

"Cool," he said, reenergized. Quickly he moved off of me, turned around, and we began to clean each other. When he once again found my mouth, we continued the long sensuous kiss that had begun in the pool.

~End - Chapter One ~

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment on this story. I love to hear from you and appreciate your input and your constructive criticism.

There are a few words and phrases in Finnish that appear in "Phalen." Computers whose keyboards are configured for the English alphabet are unable to correctly reproduce a number of the letters in the Finnish alphabet with their associated punctuation. I have therefore chosen to use the closest equivalent letters in the English alphabet. To any Finnish speakers, my apologies.

My thanks to Larry S. for his assistance with the Finnish language, and to Evan Bradley and John Flemming for helping me make "Phalen" a better story.

Thanks for reading.

Roy roynm@mac.com