Persuaded into Bitchdom

Persuaded into bitchdom – part 06

Hi guys, this story is related to `from straight to bitch club', but if you haven't read it and don't feel like reading it, it's ok, you'll still be able to fully understand it.

Be aware this story contains and/or will contain manipulation, coercion and/or persuasion of straight men into gay sex. There's no romance here. If this is not your kind of story, please don't go on.

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Chapter 6

Zac left. I was feeling terrible. Why? I should celebrate it. I still didn't want him to cum on my asshole. That was definitely gay, and I wasn't into men. I felt my confidence being drained out of me. I looked at Greg again. At least, he wouldn't leave me. Zac and others were treating me like that because they all had dicks bigger than mine. If I were as long as Greg, they wouldn't harass me like that. I jerked Greg for at least one hour before going to bed. I wanted Greg to be mine.

More classes and attentive gazes on me and my new attire. I was wearing a new pair of shorts that weren't still adjusted to my body and needed to be stretched out a little bit. A short-sleeve t-shirt that had my new name `BUNS' written on the back. My leash. The rumour said gooey had become buns, and everyone liked that. Buns had incredible buns.

It's funny to think about this because it somehow doesn't make much sense. I thought that walking covered in cum was degrading. But I've managed to suppress my indignation. Why was this affecting me now? Since I undressed and stood naked with my teammates my mentality changed. My shell was my clothes. And now, even dressed in those shorts and tees, I still felt like I was vulnerable and exposed. In my mind, I started thinking of Greg as my new protection.

When I sat down to have lunch, I saw my teammates coming to my table. Juan came a little later. He was adjusting his balls inside the shorts, but I don't think it was working.

"You two sit together," Craig instructed Juan. He sat by my side very close to me. "And you do what couples do."

Juan didn't wait for me to say anything. He pulled the hair on the back of my head and kissed me again. He was dominating me through his kisses. I wish I could say I despised it, but I'd be lying. I had an erection straightaway. I thought of jerking off as he kissed me, but I didn't want to touch my dick. I saw Greg, instead. Slowly, my own dick was being replaced by Greg. The stronger I refused to be small, the more I longed for Greg.

"You like this, don't you?" Juan whispered in my ear before kissing me again. "If you don't answer, I'll kiss you like an angel and not like the devil. Don't you?"

"Yeah..." I answered with his mouth and tongue still fucking mine.

"Find a room." I heard someone yelling at the back. Juan let go of my head. He was grinning at me. I was breathless.

"These are the volleyball bitches, you asshole," Craig yelled back. "Go, mind your business." Craig was smiling at me. "You're doing good. You look like a bottom fag to me. You just keep doing that. Pretend you're Juan's slut."

I could have answered, but Juan took from me my will to resist.

After lunch and before another round of classes, Juan kissed me again. This time, we were both standing on the corner of a building which gave us a little privacy, but still enough to let others watch us. For the first time, Juan not only pulled my hair but with the other hand, he touched my ass. He was so close to me that I could feel his crotch against mine. I couldn't believe it, but he was hard too.

"You like being manhandled. Isn't it nice? A man to do with you whatever he wants?" I hesitated again. He pulled my hair again trying to get an answer from me. "Don't you?"

"Fuck, man..."

"If you want me to keep kissing you like a cheap slut, you'll need to start talking. Do you understand?"

"Ok. Ok." I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let me. "Listen, I don't know what you think of me, but I'm doing this only because Craig asked us to."

"Ok. So, if I said I was thinking about coming to your room to kiss you there, just the two of us, would you refuse it?"

"Yes..."

"You don't know how to lie. Just admit it. You like being a bitch to other men. A submissive bitch."

Juan had been teaching me important lessons with his kisses, but I still couldn't understand it. It was obvious, wasn't it? This is how being submissive could be so pleasing. Total surrender is blissful. I wanted to see what the benefit of submission was psychological, before feeling it in my body. One thing needs to be connected to the other. The pleasure I was trying to grasp was physical and not psychological. I'd never feel it if I didn't have a guy manhandling me. The mental aspects of submission started becoming clearer from the moment Juan first kissed me, but I didn't want to see it.

The realization of how submission could be pleasing scared me. For months, I had dozens of guys cumming on me, and I've never dared to think it was arousing. On the contrary, I focused on how disgusting this was. But now I was facing a hurting dilemma. Somewhere deep inside my psyche, I found that a part of me enjoyed that. A hidden suppressed part of me liked that so much, it stopped me from complaining and seeing the reality. The glances of schoolmates over my covered body that I believed to be positive probably never existed. Teachers would talk to me, but I never listened to them. There were people worried about me. Coach Lane asked me if I were fine, and I answered with a smile and thumbs up. I thought I was pretending. No, I wasn't. That answer came from that part of me that I didn't want to surface. For months, I preferred to pretend nothing was happening, and they all let it go. I wasn't forced to do anything. I accepted it. I craved for it.

I don't know if I could deal with that. Who was I? What was going on with me?

"I've been watching you guys from over there. You two are so hot." This blonde dude approached us.

"What do you want?" Juan answered.

"No harm. I swear. I just have a proposal for you. I know this guy who shoots films for the internet of guys fucking. Well, it doesn't have a proper fuck, but maybe some sucking would do. He pays well. Would you be interested?"

Juan was thinking about it. I couldn't believe it.

"Fuck off, dude," I answered.

"It's ok. I understand. Just keep my card in case you change your mind, ok?" He gave me and Juan a card. His name was David. He left us.

"I can't believe you were thinking about his proposal." I defied Juan.

"These guys pay well. I need money."

"The department of psychology is always paying for guineapigs. Why don't you volunteer?"

"Porn pays better, you know that." Juan sounded serious.

"I gotta go. See you in the court."

I had another round of classes. I couldn't focus. My mind was set in Juan and his kisses. I couldn't let that affect me. I didn't want that part of me to overcome my reason ever again. The reality is I was scared. I feared myself. I knew I wasn't gay, so how could I have such desires residing within me?

During the training I was pissed. I didn't correspond to my teammates' expectations. They were also angry at me. Nothing worked. It was one of those days you want to forget. In the showers, I focused on Greg. Those guys wanted to break me with their big dicks, but I wouldn't let them. For as long as I had Greg, I'd be better than them. I let them know they weren't as big as they thought. There were guys bigger than them. If they only knew, they wouldn't brag about it ever again.

I was being so repetitive, their anger against me was getting to a whole new level. I was asked to leave. Craig wanted me to think about my attitude and then get back to him.

My training with Lee was also bad. He noticed my distress. Lee was patient and listened to me like no one else. I needed his attention. I invited him to my apartment, so we could speak with more privacy. I was glad he agreed to it.

"So, what's going on?" Lee asked as we entered my room.

"Everything. I think I'm going crazy. First of all, Craig's asked Juan to kiss me in public as part of my new hazing. He kisses me with passion. Like a man kisses a woman. And I'm being the woman. And I think I'm enjoying it. This is so fucked up."

Lee stood by the desk as he did the other day. I sat down on my bed.

"I'm not gay, man. I swear..."

"Bud, this has nothing to do with being gay. Each body reacts to stimuli differently. Remember when I told you that were submissive? That's the response of a submissive mind. It would be the same if a chick kissed you aggressively or passionately. Gender doesn't matter."

"How come it doesn't matter? I'm not into dudes..."

"You're into dominate people, either men or women."

"So, you're saying I'm bisexual? I'm not. I don't feel anything for dicks. I want to fuck pussies."

"Are you sure? I think there's a part of you that you fear, and you don't give voice to this part of yourself. The part I'm listening to right now belongs to a high school boy afraid of growing up and discovering that the world is much bigger than he's ever imagined. No one will respect this boy. He'll never be accepted. I'm sorry to be sound so cruel, but that's the truth. Once I was a spoiled brat too. It took me years to learn and let myself show. Actually, I think I'm still learning."

"I don't think I can do that. I don't know this other part of me. What if this part turns to be someone that will destroy me? Someone who'll embarrass me?"

"You destroy and embarrass yourself by hiding and suppressing this hidden part of yourself. You may think, what if this part is gay? Trust me, it doesn't happen. Unless you have a mental disorder, which I think it's not your case, you can't have a hetero part and a homo one. You are what you are."

"I think I liked it when the guys cummed on me. That's horrible." I confessed. It hurt me, but I needed to let it out.

"Why is that bad?"

"I'm.not.GAY!"

"Enjoying guys cumming on you doesn't define you as gay. It defines you as submissive. As someone who likes it when others tell you what to do. Guys cumming on you is just a great expression of submission. Showing your almost naked body to others does the same trick. Being vulnerable either by walking covered in cum or walking in tiny shorts have the same impact on you. The difference is that now you decided to be aware of who you are. You decided not to pretend and hide anymore. It's a totally different experience, and it hurts, I know. But without pain, you can't change. No pain, no gain, right?" Lee smiled.

"I don't want to be gay."

"Hey, stop talking about it. Just forget it for a moment, ok? No one is saying you're gay. I personally don't think you are gay. As I said, I think you're submissive and like being manhandled. That's not because you like men, but you like what they do to you."

"It's the same thing..."

"No, it's different. Stop being so obsessed with being or not being gay."

For the first time in weeks, I thought about Bob. He used to say how Karl was a fag who was hitting on him. I couldn't believe him. I used to say that Bob just couldn't play the games that uni students had to offer. I didn't want to be like him. I fought it. But I ended up being exactly like him. I believed I could be different by overseeing my surroundings. Bob was different. He preferred to have both feet on the ground and watch everything. I didn't want to be like Bob. Yet, I didn't want to be like that guy who opted to turn a blind eye to reality. Still, I wasn't prepared to see the third possibility that lied deep within me.

"Is Greg helping you?" Lee was once again touching Greg's balls.

"Yeah. I know it sounds silly, but he's helping a lot."

"That's good."

"But today... I don't know. I'm trying to think Greg is better than everyone else as you suggested. It helps me. It truly does. But I think now I see my teammates as less important people. Since I have Greg, they don't intimidate me anymore. I think I'm not respecting them as I used to."

"You don't need to let them intimidate you, but you can't let yourself think of them as inferior. I didn't want this to happen. That's a problem." Lee was seriously concerned. "I think we need to change our strategy."

"What you mean?"

"I said you had to think of Greg as better than everyone else. That won't do you any good. We need to try something else. It's something that you won't like. You may think it won't do you any good, but you gotta trust me on this. Do you trust me?"

"Yeah, more than anyone else."

"Good. So, listen to me. I need you to look at Greg from now on and think that Greg is not only the best dick in the world but that yours, the one you have between your legs, is the worst. I need you to come into your room, undress, stand side by side with Greg and say it out loud: `you're the best, and I'm the worst.' You need to emphasize it all the time. Look at your own dick and make fun of it. Get it into your brain that you have the most ridiculous dick in the whole world."

"Gosh..."

"It's either that or losing your friends, teammates and even me eventually. You need to put yourself down, so you won't get everyone to despise you. Do you understand?"

"I think so."

"So, lose the shorts and come over here."

I let my shorts near my bed and stood beside the desk, near Lee and Greg.

"Can you get hard?" Lee asked.

I could get an erection when I thought about Greg. Now he was close to me, so it wasn't too difficult.

"Good. This part now may seem easy for you. You just need to compare. Look at your dick and then look at Greg. Try to get closer to him. Isn't the size difference amazing? It's like saying that only one of them is a dick. The other is something completely different. It's like they belong to different species."

It hurt me to say it was true. That's why I wanted to forget I had a dick of my own and focus only on Greg.

"You know Greg will always be here for you, but that you can't replace your dick with him. That's impossible. Do you get it? The only thing you can do is to forget you have a dick and think of a life without one. No replacement. This is important for this exercise only. It doesn't mean you'll think this way forever. But, for now, I need you to imagine a life without a dick. You're a man without a dick. That happens because, before Greg, you're nothing. While Greg is everything, you're nothing. Do you agree?"

"This sounds bad, right?"

"I know. But that's the only way. You don't want the guys turning their back on you and end up alone and forgotten. This is for your own good."

"I'm nothing. Gosh, look at my dick. It's ridiculous..."

Saying this to my own dick wasn't the worst part of the process. What got me thinking was why I was still hard? My inner demons had desires and kinks I couldn't explain.

"You're never to touch it again because it doesn't even exist."

It made sense.

"You'll still feel like touching dicks tough. Every man touches dick. Their own. As you don't have one, you will touch other cocks, like Greg. You like masturbating. So, you keep wanking Greg. And every time you do it, you say you need him. You can't live without him because he's the only thing that reminds you of a dick. So, what's your dick?"

"Mine is the worst, and Greg is the best. I can't even deny it..."

"I know, but this will help you now. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Do you want to touch him?"

I was used to that. I did like touching Greg. I spat on my hand and started caressing him. Up and down, slowly at first and then faster. I had to leave my mouth right on top of his head, so I could keep letting my saliva hit him.

"I think he likes it." Lee smiled.

I wondered if Lee thought I was being silly doing that, but I liked it. Touching Greg was helping me to deal with my anxiety. The complicated feelings related to change and transformation. I was letting an old part of myself behind and accepting something new in exchange. I just didn't know what this new self was about, therefore the anxiety. You get in a tunnel and don't know where the other side is, or how far it is from you. But you still go. Some people walk alone, but I had Greg. Yeah, that's weird. I still can't grasp how it works, but that's how important Greg was to me.

"Have you ever wondered what it would look like if he could cum?" Lee asked me.

"Not really."

"Wouldn't that be nice?"

I didn't think about it because I've never seen Greg as a dick. It looked like a dick, but it wasn't a dick. But when Lee awoke me to that possibility, I enjoyed it. I wanted to make Greg cum if that was feasible. He deserved it.

"Do you think you're prepared to ask Craig to forgive you?" Lee asked.

"I think so."

"And do whatever he asks. I've said it before to you, but I think you're not listening. It's ok. It takes time to get used to this. Just keep in mind though that you won't be submissive if you don't learn to follow orders. You may think you don't want to be submissive, but trust me, you do. At least, a part of you. I don't know how long more you'll fight it, but unless you get to acknowledge that part, you will be forever a spoiled high school boy."

I had that same feeling I had days before. Lee sounded exactly like Karl. Karl was perhaps a little more incisive and direct, but the voice sowing seeds in my brain was very similar.

"Send Craig a message and tell him you need to tell him something important," Lee instructed me.

I let go of Greg and went for my phone. There were messages from Riley and Bern there. I dismissed them and thought of what to say to Craig and typed it.

`Hey, man. I'd like to apologize for my behaviour today. Can we talk? Can I come to your room?'

`Ok, but you better behave.' Craig was quick.

"He's waiting for me," I said to Lee.

"Good, Let's go then. I need to leave too. Good luck."

I was walking out in the dark going to Craig's building complex. I had to always carry my backpack now because I didn't have pockets anymore. I took my phone and called someone I hadn't talked to for a long time. At first, I didn't know why I was calling him, but later I understood. I needed someone to tell me that what I was doing was gay and, this way, I'd decide to turn back and stay in my room. I'd probably forget about volleyball and do something different. Maybe I was meant to live a lonely life. It was the last chance I was giving my high school personality to survive.

"Hey, it's been a while." I heard his voice.

"Hey, Bob. Sorry, I should have called before..."

"It's ok. Don't worry."

"I've been thinking about the stuff we discussed a long time ago. It's funny how I can't stop dwelling on this stuff. But I remember you saying that I was being turned gay by Karl. That what I did was wrong. You told me many times that Karl was gay, and I insisted you were overthinking it. Now I think you've been right during all this time. I wanted to apologize. I was childish..."

There was a brief moment of silence from both sides.

"Actually, I'm the one who needs to apologize," Bob said. "I was blind at that time by anger, I don't know. I was confused. Karl ain't gay. He's a great man. And you were never gay for letting your mates cum on you. I can't imagine what you've been through but now I understand that this is what bind men together. Men are just like that, and we gotta be proud of being men. You can't be gay for creating bonds with your mates. That's shit that the world keeps telling us. That chicks say. Dude, we live in a world where we can't say no to a woman coz if we do, they tell everyone we're gay. That's how they try to take our manhood from us. Trust me, you're much more of a man when you're with your mates covered in cum than when you're with a chick who despises and makes fun of you."

"Wow, I wasn't expecting this. I called you coz I thought you'd say something completely different."

"I know. I resisted. I didn't want to see it. But now it's clear to me."

"I don't know if you helped me or if you made my life harder now."

"Well, sometimes harder is better." Bob laughed.

"Maybe, but I think I wanted the easier path."

"It's up to you, bud. Do what you feel it's right. It's all up to you."

At this point, I was at Craig's door. All I had to do was to press that button and let him know I had arrived.

"So?" Bob asked.

I pressed the button.

"I hope I don't regret this. Talk soon."

"You won't. Follow your heart, and you'll be fine. Bye."

I hanged up and put the phone back in my backpack.

"Who's this?" Craig asked on the other side of the speaker.

"It's Chris."

"Oh, Buns. Second floor."

He opened the door, and I entered his dormitory building. It looked like mine. Sometimes, only the decorations and the colour of the carpet would change. I used the stairs to get to the upper level. The numbers of the rooms followed a sequence that was also equal to mine. I knocked on his door. Craig opened and let me in.

"So, what's the matter? I hope you came to apologize."

His room was a mess. The furniture was basically the ones I had in my room too, a light-blue wardrobe, a simple bed, a wood desk, chair, and a bedside table. He didn't mind letting his clothes scattered on the furniture and the floor. His bed was unmade and the only light illuminating us was the one from his bedside lamp.

"Yeah. I know I was a dick." Craig pointed to the bed and I sat over the quilt squeezed at the bottom. Craig pulled his chair and sat in front of me.

"Yeah, you were. You were a dick to me and the others. I don't know what's going on with you, but don't try to blame me for that. And never take it on the team coz we won't accept behaviour like that. Banger is new to the team. He may watch you and think it's normal to say shit to us. In no time, he'll be doing the same. Then what? Then it's our end. Lane would easily kick us all out starting with me since I'm the captain. So, when you bring your problems to the team, you bring'em to me. I'm the one who'll take the responsibility and the one to suffer the consequences."

"I'm really sorry. I think it was the pressure..."

"What pressure, Buns? You live a nice life. You don't struggle with money, creepy parents, bad grades..."

"Maybe the hazing..."

"What? We cumming on you? Fuck, Buns. Everyone goes through some kind of hazing here and survives. Besides, it was clear to all of us that you enjoyed it."

"I enjoyed it? When? How?" I was afraid that they could have judged, based on my submissiveness, that I liked what they did to me. That seemed to be confirmed.

"I don't know if you noticed, but sometimes you'd rub your dick through the pants. Some guys saw you smiling. How wasn't you enjoying that?"

"I didn't do any of that. I swear."

"Well, that's not what we thought. You never complained. You would agree to whatever we proposed. And, since you've never complained, we didn't stop. We would if you asked us to let you go."

"No, I... I did it for the team..." Could I forget all these details? Now I doubted myself. Lots of questions clustering together and blinding me gradually.

"It's alright, Buns. I'm not feeling like arguing right now. You're here coz you feel sorry, so now apologize."

"But I apologized already. I'm sorry."

"No. You apologized to me and I forgive you. It's alright. But it's not only me you attacked in the showers today. You attacked my dick too. I want you to tell him you're sorry."

"Him who?" It took me two or three seconds to connect the points. "You can't be serious..."

"I fucking am." Craig stood up and dropped his shorts. He wasn't wearing underwear, so now I had his soft dick facing me. "Apologize."

"This is sick."

"I don't care. You may think this is sick, but I'm taking this seriously. Apologize."

"Sorry..."

"No, Buns. Don't look at me. Look at him and do it right. If I can't believe you, he won't believe you either. Make it sound like you mean it. You can call him... I don't know... `Craig junior' if you want."

I thought I was being silly when I played with Greg, but nothing could be compared to this.

"I'm sorry." I did look down. The situation was unexpected and embarrassing. I thought eventually Craig would say this was all a joke and pull his shorts up, but it didn't happen. I tried to sound serious but not silly. I don't know if that was possible.

"Not enough."

"I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry." I looked at Craig's dick like I'd look at a person.

"Not enough."

"Man, I mean, Craig... Junior, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean what I said."

"What did you say? Elaborate."

"I said that he..."

"No, you're not talking to me, you're talking to him."

"I said that you weren't that big and that you were not impressive. I was rude. I didn't mean it. So, please, forgive me. I'm sorry."

"If he's not small, then what is he? Say stuff that will make him feel better."

I didn't want to talk to Craig's dick. I didn't want to give it adjectives, but Craig wouldn't let me go. Well, I could have said I wouldn't do this anymore and left the room. After all, he was the one who suggested it was up to me to decide whether the situation was unacceptable or not. Still, the idea that I had such an option didn't cross my mind. Was this a product of my submissiveness? I couldn't tell because I didn't know what being submissive meant.

"He's... uh..." I looked down at his dick. "You're big and impressive. I bet you make all chicks go crazy when you're fucking them. It must feel amazing too." I looked up. "Is this enough?"

"It sounds better." Craig was satisfied. "Now seal the deal with a handshake."

"A what?"

"A handshake."

"Dude, dicks don't have hands. Do you mean your hand?"

"Are you talking to me? You shouldn't be talking to me. You're talking to him. Now, shake him."

"I'm not touching your dick, man. No-sex rule, remember?" I was reminding the ruler about the rules he created.

"Who do you think I am, Buns? I don't want you to touch my dick either. I have bitches who do that for me. Unless you're a bitch. Are you a bitch, Buns?"

"Course not. But you said you want me to shake your dick." I should be sounding a little stupid, but it wasn't easy to talk to a naked guy who was stood so close to me. His dick threatened me.

"So, use something to cover him and give him a good and long handshake."

"Use what?"

"I don't know. You can either be creative and use something to cover him, or you can admit you're a bitch and touch him with your bare hands."

"Can I use a towel or something?"

"What's that, Buns? You come to my place after saying shit about me and my dick, and now you expect me to help you out? You think too little of me. It's your duty to think of something and do it right or we ain't forgiving you."

I didn't have much with me to use on his dick. In my backpack, I had nothing useful. I didn't even wear undies anymore. But I remembered I had something that could be useful.

I took off my right shoe and my sock. Craig watched me carefully.

"That's smart. But I hope those socks are clean."

"They are. If you want, you can smell'em."

"You must be kidding, right? Go on then. Dress my cock in your sock."

My hands were shaking. I tried to cover Craig's dick with my sock, but it wasn't as easy as I had imagined. His soft cock was hanging over the balls in a position that made it hard to fulfil my task without touching his skin with my bare hands.

"Maybe this won't work if you don't make him hard first."

"I'm not touching your dick..."

"Fuck, man. Are you stupid or just a virgin? But even virgins should know better. You watch porn, don't you? You must know you can make a man hard without touching his cock. There are other areas you can play with that can do the trick. Have you ever heard of erogenous zones?"

The task that once seemed easy and fast, although detestable, was now becoming more complicated with long-lasting consequences that I couldn't see yet.

"It can be fun. The chicks I've fucked have never played with my body. Yeah, I know, I'm not that experienced either. So, why don't you try different parts till we find out what works for me?"

"I don't think I understand..."

Craig sat down on his chair after making sure he was totally naked.

"You don't need to touch my dick, which would be sexual as you say, but you can touch other parts of my body till I get hard. It's never happened to me, but I can't wait to see what works for me. Try my ears, neck, nipples, everything."

"That's not right..." I couldn't grasp the purpose of this task.

"Oh, c'mon, Buns." Craig had changed his tone from demanding/authoritarian to friendly. This was the way he spoke when he first convinced me to accept to take their jizz on my face, body and even into my mouth. I could say he knew I'd hardly say no' to a bud. I hate to admit it, but that's true. It would be much easier for me to walk out on him if I had Craig yelling at me than talking smoothly like a friend. If I left him under this new circumstance, I'd feel guilty and worried I'd lose his friendship'. No, we weren't friends, but it was better to have his tortuous sodality than nothing at all. "Think you're doing this for the team..."

"Sorry, man, but this has nothing to do with the team."

"Of course, it has. You bad mouthed my cock and hurt his feelings. If he is sad, so am I. What kind of team would we have if we were fighting and pissed at each other? You gotta make things right now that you screwed up and the only way is by making Craig Jr. happy again after a good handshake. I mean, you can shake him right now with your bare hands. I don't mind. We can terminate the no-sex rule if you and only you ask to. I don't see any other option for you. You can either come over here and touch my... let's say, my ear, or my dick. That is after you say you don't want the no-sex rule anymore. So, what's gonna be?"

Notice he didn't give me a third option that would put me out of his room. I keep repeating this because it is obvious this was a possibility. I can see this now. But when I was there in his room, I could not. Just like I could have asked them to stop hazing me and never did.

I stood up, walked to him, and touched his ear hesitantly. I wasn't sure if I was doing this right, and somehow, I thought neither did Craig.

"Is it all?" He didn't sound very excited. "I don't understand how some chicks yell when guys play with their ears when they fuck them. What about the neck?"

I did the same to his neck. I wasn't caressing him. It was more like lightly scratching his skin with the tips of my nails up and down.

"Damn. Nothing." Craig didn't seem interested. When I did the same to his nipples, he complained again. "What's wrong with me? There must have something wrong with me."

My empathy made me feel sorry for him. I didn't know if I could get hard if someone touched my ear, neck or nipple, but judging from the way Craig sounded enthusiastic when he asked me to try it on him, I thought he was supposed to be feeling something by now.

"My foot?"

I didn't consider any of this disgusting or outrageous. Maybe I would before my hazing, but not now.

I did the same with his foot and, this time, Craig reacted. I didn't give him a hardon, but I made him laugh hysterically.

"Stop! Stop!" He begged. He pulled his feet that were then over my thighs. "This ain't working. If it doesn't work, I gotta say you'll need to do it the easier way. Give my dick a nice handshake with your smooth bare hands."

"No way. No-sex rule."

"Damn it! That stupid rule. Don't you think it'd be a good idea to lift this rule?" I caught the persuasion sound of his voice. The same tone he used when he convinced me to accept the cum showers. "It'd be a lot easier if you just took my dick in your hand..."

"No way!" That rule was the only thing that protected me from whatever those horny guys had in mind. I could fathom what they'd do if I lifted the rule. I could but wouldn't. What would Zac do if I acted recklessly?

"I don't know... What if you use your tongue? That's how they do in porn."

"Yeah, they do that in porn coz that's sexual..."

"Bullshit! It's not sex if your bare hands, mouth, or asshole ain't touching our dicks. That's the rule."

"Bullshit!"

"Bullshit? Fuck, buns. I'm the one who came with the no-sex rule idea. One day, Lane and other coaches asked several team captains to avoid sexual hazing because it was getting out of control. We stipulated what sex means in this context. Ask Lane if you want. And we also agreed that the rule wouldn't apply if the freshman agreed to."

I wouldn't approach Lane to ask him about this rule. Of course not. So, I took Craig's word as true.

"Actually, we didn't say anything about hands, only mouth and asshole, but I'm trying to help you here. Oh, and nothing about jizz too. That's why Lane didn't stop us from cumming on you." Craig continued. "As for licking or sucking us, well, as long as it's not our dicks, you can put your tongue wherever we want. So, what's gonna be? Hand on my dick, or tongue in my ear?"

Again, Craig wasn't giving me all the possible options. Now I think it makes sense, right? You take a dubious guy and make him think he does have a choice, but both choices are bad. One option though will always be slightly better than the other. In this case, tongue in the ear sounded more admissible than a hand on a dick. Anything that was related to dick would sound unappealing to a straight boy. I didn't think that licking his ear would make me gay, but touching his cock was something else.

I sighed before walking to the side of his chair. I've never licked an ear and didn't know how to do this. I think Craig noticed my hesitation. He turned the side of his head to me and offered his ear to my tongue.

"I don't know how it works. Try to lick inside and let's see what happens. Don't worry, my ear is clean. My whole body is."

He must have mentioned his `whole body' because he predicted I'd end up licking it all. As usual, I didn't think about it though. I put my lips over his ear and stuck my tongue out of my mouth. In fact, his ear was clean. It didn't taste like anything in particular.

"Oh, that ain't too bad," Craig commented.

I noticed that whenever I exhaled and my warm breath hit his saliva-coated ear, he'd squeeze his neck. I looked at his dick. It was coming to life.

"Fuck, buns. This is good." I was glad to notice this would be enough to do the trick, but Craig had other plans. "But you don't want to get me hard now."

"Course I do." He turned his head to where I was standing. I stepped back and saw a grin widening on his face. "I mean, you get hard and then we finish this already."

"Ok, let me rephrase this. We don't want me to get hard now. I know I don't want to. So, here's the deal. You can get me hard by licking my ear, or you can come back here and lick my nipples. I'd rather have you licking my nipples. That would make me happy, Buns. Do you want to make me happy? You don't want to leave me here frustrated and unsatisfied, right? I'm sure you don't."

"You could have a chick doing that for you. We can arrange that..."

"No, I want you. You are my teammate. You are the one trying to find a spot among us. Yeah, I could find a chick who'd do this for me, but I want you."

Craig was testing me. He wanted to know how far I was willing to go for the team. I thought everything they did to me had to be connected to the team. And to be honest, I didn't know my limits either. I could be more hesitant maybe, but the idea that the hazing had a no-sex rule somehow eased my doubts. The problem is I didn't know what sex meant under this context. It may sound ridiculous but it's true. I've had guys rubbing their dicks against my face and lips before, but that wasn't sex. It shouldn't be. Licking Craig's ears wasn't sex either. The same should apply to his nipples. If Craig and I were on the same page, we would cross the sex bounders once I had his dick in my hands, mouth, or asshole. The problem then should be only one: it was disgusting to lick another dude. I didn't want to do that even if it wasn't sex.

Craig was still watching me. My silence was an indication that I could agree with him. I wanted to make him happy even if I disgusted myself over his body.

"Buns, it's just my nipples. It's not even hairy."

That's true. His nipples were smooth. He only had hair in the middle of the chest.

"It's weird, man. Guys don't do that with other guys. I mean, straight guys. Why would you want me to do that?"

"I'm not talking about guys here. This has nothing to do about being gay or straight either. I'm talking about teammates. Not only that. I'm talking about a submissive man who's willing to do what feels natural to him. He wants to serve. He needs to make other people happy. He's not thinking about men or women. It doesn't matter, right?"

"Submissive?" Hearing this word coming from Craig's mouth was unexpected. Did he talk with Lee? It wasn't possible. Why would Lee and Craig talk about me? So, if that was not the case, it meant Craig also knew my nature. Was it that obvious? I myself didn't know that but apparently, everyone else did.

"Didn't you know you are submissive, Buns? After all those guys cumming on your body... after Juan's kisses. The dude treats you like a bitch, and it's obvious you enjoy it."

"I don't..." Did I?

"Oh, c'mon. You got hard after that kiss in the locker room. You don't need to lie to me. It doesn't mean you're gay. It means you're submissive. That's alright. All of us are a little submissive or dominant. Ones more than the others, but it's totally normal."

"I don't know about that..."

"Well, you should. Wanna see? I say it again then. Come here and lick my nipples. I ain't forcing you. I'll just say that if you do, you'll make me so fucking happy. You want to make me happy, don't you? Just be honest with yourself and you'll be cool."

Yes, I wanted to make him happy, but I didn't want to become gay for that.

Craig stood up and put his hand on the back of my head. Slowly, he pulled me closer to his body until my mouth touched his right nipple.

"Just lick it, Buns. It's cool. You'll make me so happy."

And I did it. I kept saying to myself it wasn't sex, so it couldn't be gay. No way. It'd be gay if I were licking his dick.

"Oh, that's not too bad either." He didn't say another word about me being submissive, but he's proved his point. I liked to know I could make him happy as he'd suggested. I don't know how long I've been there, but it should be more than just a few seconds. "But I don't think this is for me. Look, my dick isn't getting hard."

I opened my eyes and checked it. He was right. His dick was totally limp. I'd dare to say he was more excited with my tongue in his ear than on his nipple.

"Why don't we try another part? I'd love to feel you touching my feet again. Would you do that for me?"

Craig pushed me and I fell on his bed once again. He sat back on his chair and quickly put his right foot over my thighs. I took it half-consciously.

"Touch it?" I asked.

"Yeah. But don't just scratch it with your fingers. What about a foot massage? Take it with both hands and press it with your fingers. I'm sure that'll feel nice."

I was still a little thoughtful when my hands started rubbing his big foot. His fingers were long and so masculine. I could feel his muscles and bones with my meaty fingers. Craig put his arms behind his head and slid to the edge of the chair making himself comfortable. He closed his eyes and relaxed.

I looked at him and saw his limp dick getting a little fatter and longer. I had no doubt he was enjoying this.

"Man, this is the best so far. I wonder how nice it'll feel when you lick it."

"Lick your foot?"

"Sure." He kept his eyes shut. "Just like you did with my nipples."

"I don't know about that."

"What are you talking about?" He opened his eyes and set them on me. "You can't be serious. Is it alright to lick my ear and nipple but not my foot?"

"Lick your foot?"

"Tell me what's wrong with that. You can't even say they're dirty coz they're as clean as the rest of my body, maybe even more than my ears. Check it."

He brought his foot to my face and squeezed my nose with his fingers.

"I bet it smells like soap, right?"

"Yeah..." I used my hands to push his foot back, but Craig insisted, and his fingers were now touching my lips.

"Let my toe in. You don't need to do anything, just open your mouth, and let it in. C'mon, Buns. This is so fucking nice. Look, my dick is getting harder already."

I was so focused on Craig's foot I didn't notice his dick. He was right. It should be half-mast now.

"You're making me so happy, Buns. Really. You're the best. Now be a good boy and open your mouth. This is totally cool."

I felt like saying I didn't want to do that, but I couldn't open my mouth. Could I? It's hard for me to explain what was happening to me at that moment. I didn't have anything against my back. I could have moved back and out from that position. I could have pushed Craig away from me. But nothing of that crossed my mind. The question I could never answer is why. Was I afraid I'd upset Craig? His possible anger scared me? Or maybe I was worried I wouldn't make him happy if I did so?

Another question started haunting me after that episode: what does it mean to make someone happy? It may seem obvious at first, but it's not.

Suddenly, Craig stood up and pulled me by the t-shirt. I was back on my feet. We were facing each other. Face to face. I took the opportunity to clean my lips with the back of my hand.

"Lie down." He ordered.

"Where?"

"On the floor."

"Why?"

"This way it'll be easier for you to lick my feet. I can sit down and just leave my foot over your face."

I hadn't done that yet and wasn't willing to try, but it didn't matter to him.

"I don't know if I wanna do that, man."

"So, tell me, why did you lick my nipples? What's wrong with my foot? Is the problem only my foot?"

I didn't know why his feet disgusted me, but they did. It's simply how things are, right? Almost all of us have hair on the head and have no problem with it whatsoever until we find it on the desk, over the bed or anywhere else. We react to it even if we don't know why. That's what happens to feet, I guess.

"I think so," I answered.

"Oh, is that so? Ok, so try on this." Craig held my head with his left hand and pressed his right thumb against my lips. "Open your mouth, Buns. This is just my finger, and it's clean too." As I resisted, Craig lost his temper. "Buns, just say `aaah' and it will be over soon. The longer you fight, the longer this will continue."

It was getting clear to me that Craig wouldn't let me go without first having his fingers sucked. Such realization led me to relax my facial muscles and jaw. Craig's thumb touched my tongue and caressed the inner walls of my mouth.

"You've got a nice mouth, Buns. Thick and juicy lips." His fingers played with my lips as he spoke. "Now, tell me, is this gay to you? Seriously, be honest with me. Do you feel you're less of a man now that you have my fingers in your mouth?"

Craig released my head and withdrew the fingers from my mouth.

"Not really." To be honest, I didn't feel anything had changed.

"Good. Now, will you lie down or leave me unhappy here? It's your choice really."

He stepped back as if showing me my way to the door. It was up to me to do as he wanted or show myself out. I thought of Zac when he said I was acting like a boring high school boy for being so uptight and reserved. I was feeling defeated. Not because Craig had won, but because I was realizing that my excuses were nothing but simple excuses. They didn't mean anything to these guys. Hiding behind them was turning me into a pussy and not helping me to be a member of the team as I wanted.

I thought of Craig as the team's captain. It would do me good to please him. That ought to be a lie, but that's what I thought before lying down on the floor. From this angle, I had a better view of his cock hanging over his balls as if facing me.

Craig sat down on his chair again and planted his right foot on my face promptly. Probably, he didn't want to give me time to think about what was going on.

"You're aware that I won't make your life in the team any easier just because you decided to lick my feet, right? More than that, I'll kick you out of the team if you can't be a good libero. That's my role as the team's captain, and your tongue on my feet won't change that. So, this ain't a bribe. You're not doing me a favour." I couldn't see his face with his foot covering my face. I didn't know why he was talking about this. His right toe was back on my lips when the left foot covered my eyes. "But you're pleasing me a LOT. And this will be even better when you start licking my feet. C'mon, let my toe in."

Now I understood why he had to talk about the team. Craig needed to make sure I knew I was licking his feet because I wanted to please him and not because I expected him to help me in the future. I'd be lying to myself if I imagined I was doing that for him in exchange for any sort of benefit. I knew that already. My previous experiences, including the ones with Lee, Bern, Zac, Juan and the rest of the team led me to conclude that I was on the floor because I wanted to. With that in mind, I opened my mouth. His toe rested on my tongue. Craig didn't say a word. I panicked at first, but the longer it remained there, the more secure I felt. As it's happened with his thumb before, I realized that his toe wouldn't turn me gay either. That conclusion assured me it was ok to go on. I moved my tongue around his finger at first and then closed my lips around the intruder.

"That's good, Buns," Craig spoke out. His toe was moving in and out of my mouth like a fucking stick. "Lick and suck the other fingers too."

One by one, I licked all the five of them before he moved his other foot onto my lips. He interchanged one with the other. When I got his right toe into my mouth again, his saliva-coated left foot returned to my forehead and spread my own fluids on my face. I didn't stop and soon found out the magic spot that made Craig happy. He moaned loudly when I licked the space between the fingers. I think that was the first time I understood what it meant to please another person and how good it made me feel.

"Fuck. That's awesome. Don't stop." He didn't need to ask twice. I wanted to see how I could make that guy moan with the simple touch of my tongue. I tried to see his face, but I still couldn't. I could however see his cock. And it was hard. It's difficult to explain how happy I felt with that achievement. How I could have this power over someone else's body. It was incredible.

Craig bent his body forward and I could finally see his face. He removed his feet from my face and put his right hand into my open mouth. I did what seemed natural to me and licked his hand fingers.

"The palm too" I wouldn't fight him for something that seemed so little.

I didn't understand why he wanted me to lick and suck his hand fingers until I saw him sitting back straight and holding his cock with the hand I covered with my saliva. He started jerking off when he placed his feet back on my face and in my mouth. That was not the idea. But what was the plan after all? How did I end up lying down on the floor? I couldn't remember and didn't try to.

"Buns, this feels so good. And your mouth is just perfect. Fuck, if I only knew this before. Focus between the fingers. Stick your tongue in there. Yeah, that's it."

Craig continued jerking off for another minute or so and then he offered me his right hand again. This time though, I decided not to obey. Was he stretching my limits too much?

"You were holding your dick with that hand." I protested feebly.

"So what? You've had cum in your mouth already. I may have some pre in my hand, but that's not like you haven't tried this before. Besides, I've heard that pre tastes better than cum. You can give it a try for me."

"But, Craig..."

"Fuck, Buns. What's your problem? Will you put me down now? If you don't lick my hand now, I'll go soft and it'll be your fault."

This situation reminded me of Zac and our messages to Riley. I didn't want to let another friend down. That's what I thought at that moment. These guys couldn't be my friends, but that's how I pictured them. The reason is unclear, but maybe because they were the only people I have around me for months. That sense of isolation contributed to my dependence on them and hindered my judgments.

I think Craig had caught a good glob of pre with his thumb because that's what I tasted first. When his finger touched my lips, it was totally wet. I shut my eyes as I tried to make him aware of my disgust. I don't think it worked.

"I bet it's not that bad. You've had actual cum in your mouth and it never looked like a big problem for you. Truth be said, you actually dealt with that way better than any other straight guy would. So, quit the drama and show how my pre makes you good."

I wish I could contest him, but it wasn't possible. I opened my eyes and found his face not far from mine. Once I had his hand covered in saliva, he took it back to his dick. "Thank me for feeding you my pre, Buns."

"You want me to... What?"

"Thank me for letting you swallow my pre."

"Why would I? You forced me to."

"I don't think I did." He put his right foot over my face again. "If I remember well, I even showed you the door when you decided to lie down on my floor. Am I wrong? I gave you options, and you're there because you chose to. Now, if you swallowed my pre, that's because you wanted to, and I let you."

"Quit the bullshit, Craig."

It took him a few seconds to reply to me. During that time, he continued jerking off and his feet didn't stop moving up and down my face.

"C'mon, Buns. We're just having a good time together. If you don't like this, then just pretend you do. I bet that when we unloaded on your face, you used to pretend nothing of that was happening. Am I right? I must be. You ain't gay, so if you let us do what we did, it means you should be pretending. And you pretended so well, we all thought you liked that."

"I didn't..."

"See? But you made it look like you did. All I'm asking of you is for you to pretend again. It'll be so hot. Just think you're acting as you've done before. Thank me for feeding you my pre. It'll make me cum much faster."

I wanted to make him cum. I'd never touch his dick or directly stimulate his genital, but to think I could contribute to his orgasm was exciting. I thought it was wrong and indecent, but I liked that. It was like the time I was thinking of sending pictures of my ass to Riley. The idea that I could offer her visual material for a possible orgasm. That was also like what I felt when I showed Bern my ass. They had different intensities but came from the same source. That feeling was strong and overpowering. I enjoyed it and that's what scared me. How far would I go to feel that?

"Thanks," I said.

"Elaborate, Buns. Besides, speak louder as if you really mean it. Do it again."

Craig was jerking off at a faster pace. Was he about to cum?

"Thanks for feeding me your pre."

"Did you like the taste?"

Did I? I don't think it tasted anything. I remained silent.

"If you don't know what to answer, just pretend you liked it. But if you need to pretend, make me believe you're not pretending. Say and do whatever as if you mean it. Try to think about what I want to listen to and say it to me. I think I'll always want you to say yes to whatever I ask. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, the taste was great."

"What about cum? Do you like cum?"

"Yeah. I love cum." I didn't think I did, but I was willing to see how I could please that guy with the words I uttered.

"So here we go. Take it."

It was all too fast, but he was instantly on his knees beside me. His dick inches from my face when he unloaded on my face. My mouth that was open because of his feet playing with my lips remained open. He aimed his dick onto my tongue and squirted six volleys of thick cream. It's been a while since I last felt cum in my mouth, but I knew what to do. I pushed it out with my tongue and looked back to Craig who didn't seem totally happy. He should be, right? I gave him an orgasm after all. I didn't understand.

"If you say you love cum, then you need to swallow cum." "I don't do that."

"But you should."

"You asked me to pretend. I was pretending."

"So, pretend better. I said you should make me believe in you. How can I think you're being honest if you say you love cum but don't swallow it?"

"Because saying is different from doing. I don't swallow cum."

"Oh, you don't?" Craig sat back on his chair. "I remember seeing a lot of guys cumming in your mouth..."

"But I never swallowed..."

"Really? Dude, you know you did. You can push that cum out of your mouth. You can push ninety or so per cent out of your mouth but not all of it. You've been swallowing cum for months, and I don't think it ever bothered you. Now you can't swallow mine. That's outrageous. Really. You're such a disappointment, Buns. Get out."

I was feeling bad about that situation. I promptly stood up and left.

I got into my room and lay on my bed. I was upset but no because of the stuff Craig said to me. I was angry at myself. I couldn't understand why, but I knew I was pissed because I was stupid. I decided to text Lee. He should know what I was feeling. He always did.

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/gay/college/ranchs-bitch/ (ongoing)

/gay/college/from-straight-to-bitch-club (ongoing)

/gay/authoritarian/becoming-my-flatmates-bitch/ (ongoing)

/gay/highschool/a-bitchs-birth (complete)