Perfect

Perfect

Edited By: Tom

~ Chapter 18 ~

Flashback- Gabriel's POV

I was going to runaway. I've decided it and I am going to do it. I can't take it anymore. I didn't belong here. Everyone looked at me like I had some un-popular disease and I was probably going to be kicked out anyway.

You see I got into another fight. I hadn't meant to. It actually hadn't been my fault.

I'd been sketching under a tree in a secluded area in the garden when I heard some scuffling noises. Curious I had went to investigate.

I spotted James and his buddies first, and I knew there was going to be trouble right away. But then I saw their attention wasn't focused on me. They were looking at small figure on the ground.

It was a boy, kind of short, skinny, with chocolate brown hair that curled around his ears. I had never seen him before, but I didn't know most of the students here. His nose was bleeding and he was clutching his ribs.

"Did you think you could steal my locker and get away with it?"

"I didn't..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence; James raised his foot and kicked him in stomach. The boy curled his body to avoid the blow, but too late. James viciously kicked him again, the blow striking the boy's hand because he was clutching his legs to his chest. "I don't care if the Headmaster assigned it to you. It's mine. It's going to stay mine. So you better get out of it like I said to."

I already turned and was walking away when I another groan escaped the fallen kid.

"Awww, are you going cry?" Ramsey taunted.

I stopped, my legs refusing to move. I couldn't help him. If I got in another fight, I would be in so much shit and my mom would go crazy.

I couldn't do anything and that was that. He wasn't my problem, he was just some kid. I'm sure he wouldn't help me if I were getting my ass kicked. But then why couldn't I walk away? Why did I feel like the scum of the earth?

Maybe it was because of Elaine's ideal that misfits should stick together or the fact that he was defenseless and no one should be treated like like dirt, but whatever it was had me heading straight back to them and shouting, "James you piece of shit, can't you ever pick on anyone your own size."

So now with a bruised lip, throbbing shoulder, and a headache from being yelled at by Mr. Thompson for starting another fight, I began to pack. I didn't know where I was going but anywhere was going to be a hell of a lot better than where my mother was going to send me.

A knock sounded at the door and I hurried to shove the suitcase underneath the bed. When everything looked normal I called out, "Come in."

Mr. Thompson entered the room, which immediately made me wary. "Stop looking at me as if I'm the enemy Gabriel. I didn't come here to lecture you. Why didn't you tell me what really happened this afternoon?"

I shrugged. "You wouldn't have believed me if I did."

He frowned at me. "Yes I would have. Or I at least would have taken it into consideration. It's a good thing Sebastien came and informed me of what transpired."

"Who?"

"The young man you were defending, his name is Sebastien Toussiant. Ah... here he is right now. I'll let you two talk." He made a move to leave then added. "Just tell me the truth next time."

We stared at each other after he left. Both of us bruised and battered, he was worse off than I was though.

"I didn't need your help." I growled at him.

He lifted his chin. "I could say the same to you." He replied in the same harsh tone.

I scanned him up and down. He was an awkward looking kid. He had big Topaz eyes that seemed too big for his face, and ears that stuck out. But even though the shit had been kicked out of him, he stood tall. I recognized in him some thing that was in me: the will carry on.

"Fair enough." I muttered.

"I owed it to you for helping me out."

"Fine."

"I'm Bastien." He stuck his hand out.

I shook it. "Gabriel."

"Nice to met you." He said then turned to leave.

Again unknown forces motivated me to ask, "Want to stay and play some video games?"

"Yeah."

And quietly a new friendship began to be built.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Present Day- A Killer's POV

I licked my lips and laughed out loud, allowing the power to linger inside. I brought my fingers to my mouth, tasting the metallic flavor of blood still left behind. His blood.

I closed my eyes going over again, the feel of my knife entering into his butter soft flesh. Humans were rather fragile creatures, just a few quick jabs, or well-placed slices and they'd die. Leaving me nothing to play with. That's why I was usually careful with them, drawing out their punishment as long as possible. But I'd gotten out of control this time. I let the power, the need take over. I cut him too soon. I hadn't even gotten a chance to play with him proper. The little fucker had alerted the neighbors. I couldn't stay to finish. I wasn't going to be caught because of one mess up. I had too much left to do.

HE still hadn't received his ultimate punishment. Next time, I told myself. Slowly running my hands down my body. Next time. I had removed the clothes I'd been wearing earlier, and threw them into the furnace in the basement. I now stood in the shower, his blood covering parts of my body. I cupped my cock in my hand. 'Ohhh, how he squealed,' I thought to myself. With every thrust of my knife he'd squealed, the sound coming deep from his throat.

My hand traveled up to my throat catching the blood there and spreading it around. I bite my lip, aroused beyond belief. I couldn't wait until the next time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Gabriel's POV

I knew when his heartbeat shifted, felt the faint shiver across his skin, and I knew his eyes fluttered open, even though his face was turned away from me. I was strangely attuned to him-we'd slept together for only a few months and yet I knew his body, his pulses, the rhythm of his heartbeat and his breathing so that my own matched his. I let my hand dance along his arm, just the faintest of caresses.

"It's still early, go back to sleep." I said gently.

"Have you been awake all this time?" We'd made love late last night, and though I had dozed for a few hours, I hadn't drifted into a deep sleep.

"Mmm-hmmm," I murmured.

"Gabriel..." he said, his tone hinting that he was going to start an argument.

"Mmmmm," I moved closer to him, kissing his neck softly, trying to distract him.

"Stop that." He protested half-heartedly.

I nibbled on his ear and moved my hand down his arm, intertwining his fingers with mine. "Did you know that hands are an erogenous zone?"

"I know they're a ticklish zone." He tried to regain custody of his hand but I held fast.

"Trust me." My tone was both soothing and cajoling. "I won't do anything to tickle you."

I drew a slow circle on his palm, stroked the insides of his fingers, and brushed my thumb over the veins in his wrist.

"Do that again." He breathed out.

"My pleasure," I whispered. His entire being seemed focused on my fingertip as it feathered along the tender flesh of his inner palm.

I lifted his hand and pressed my mouth where my finger had been. His body arched back against me, his breath tangling in his throat.

I flicked my tongue in his palm, then my mouth moved to his thumb, exploring flesh there, nibbling, biting, and sucking. He grounded his ass into my hard, and already leaking cock.

I thrust my hips against him, lodging my cock in his crack. I released his hand, and slid mine down his stomach to touch him. Hard, pulsing. I reach down to cup his balls, squeezing them gently before clasping him in my hand again.

I moved my hips in slow downward thrusting circles, before I began to stroke, my hand re-exploring the throbbing hardness of his flesh. He let out a shaky groan. I pumped faster, my hand grasping his cock harder, and with another thrust of my hips, he came. His knees locking, his teeth sinking into my arm he'd been using for a pillow, as he tried to keep his shout muted so Keira wouldn't be awakened.

He squeezed his cheeks around my cock, and I followed him, my body trembling with the pleasure of it.

Afterward I couldn't stop trembling. I rested my head in his sweat soaked hair, closing my eyes.

I guess I must have dozed for a few hours because when I opened my eyes; Connor had turned to face me. He was wearing a dark blue pair of briefs; I nuzzled my nose against his chest, breathing in the fresh spiciness of his skin. He must have taken a shower. He smelled so good.

"It's time to wake up." He touched my face, cradling my check in his palm.

"Now?" I grumbled, not wanting to move.

He chuckled softly. "If you would sleep at night instead of staying up guarding us, you wouldn't be so tired in the morning."

I pulled my head back and gave him a mock glare. I thought I'd gotten him to forget about that but I guess I should of known better, I swear the man had the memory of an elephant.

"I can worry about my family if I want to." I said sullenly.

"Not when it's taking a toll on your health." He argued. "And I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

"I know that." He was independent, I knew. It was one of the things I loved about him but like I've said before I'm a protector. I couldn't change that about myself. If he could deal with that part of my nature, it was the least I could do to accept his need to not let me completely shelter him from the world.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"That you're a pain the ass."

"I was thinking the same thing."

He sighed and kissed me on the tip of my nose. "Come on, get up."

I glanced down; enjoying the way the dark cotton cupped his cock. "I will in a second."

"You're such a liar," he said, smiling, as he reluctantly got to his feet. I remained where I was, watching him as he went to the dresser, bending down to open the bottom drawer, his bubble butt high in the air. "Well? Are you going to lay there all day?"

"Just enjoying the view," I replied, grinning at him. "Bend over again."

He shook his head. "We have things to do."

"Like what?" I stretched my legs out lazily.

"Like make breakfast for your little sister, it's your turn." He stressed, ignoring my heavy lidded expression.

"Tell him that," I suggested as I touched my erection.

"Gabriel!" He scowled. "Are you even paying attention to anything I'm saying?"

"I'm giving you my fullest attention, baby." I loved teasing him because he was cute when he was frazzled. I open my legs wider. "Come here and let me show you."

"You're insatiable."

"Only with you, love." I informed him.

"I suggest you go take a cold shower." He said, before pulling on his sweatpants and walking to the door. "I'm going to wake Keira." He declared and then existed.

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Connor's POV

The man was completely shameless.

It took all my strength to walk out of that room. Gabriel was hard to resistant when he was just being himself but when set his mind to seduce, he was simply irresistible but since it was just after 8 am on Saturday morning, I knew Keira would awaken any minute in order to watch morning cartoons. I didn't really feel comfortable making love knowing she could overhear us. It was weird but I couldn't get over the queasy feeling that we'd somehow traumatize her if she found out we were having sex. Actually I didn't know if she even knew what sex was. That observation didn't help; it only made me even more anxious. What if Gabriel and I had to explain to her about the birds and bees, where babies came from and all that stuff?

I entered Keira's bedroom, only to find her rumpled bed empty. Thinking she was in that bathroom, I walked across the hall to the door. I knocked softly. "Kiera, honey, you in here?" I called out.

No answer, I frowned. "Keira?" I pushed against the door, it was open, and she wasn't inside.

I made my way down the hall and as I came towards the stairs I could hear the sound of the television in the den. I breathed easier. The little imp must have wakened earlier than I would of thought.

I headed toward the sound of the TV, mentally going over what we had to do today, enlist Keira in some community actives, visit with Elaine and Derek, and maybe go to the grocery store to pick up some more food cause we running low...

On the television screen, a row of topless dancers gyrated. I lunged for the switch. Hell! The cable must've come with some kind of men's channel-the playboy Channel or something similar. I honestly didn't know.

"Whoa, Keira. That's not something you should be watching," I said, turning to the couch to face her.

Except she wasn't sitting on the couch, Sheba was, she meowed at me and then batted a paw in my direction before returning to licking it.

The den was a pretty open spaced room but I didn't see any movement in any corners, she wasn't even in the room. Hell, that was a relief. I headed to the kitchen. She wasn't there either, and my relief turned to apprehension.

"Keira?" I moved quickly through the hallway to the back rooms of the house, and then opened the door to the basement. "Keira are you hiding?"

Heart pounding, I ran down the stairs. "Keira?"

Nothing.

I ran frantically up the stairs. 'No!' my mind was screaming. 'He couldn't have gotten her. The house is protected.' That didn't' calm the fear prickling against my skin.

"Keira, if you hiding come out right now." I shouted. "This isn't funny."

She didn't answer. I sped to the stairs calling to Gabriel. "Keira's gone!" I shouted, but he was already thundering down the stairs, wearing only a pair of cut-off jeans shorts.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I can't find her anywhere."

We sprinted outside, our eyes frantically searching, everywhere, anywhere. Then...there at the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of dark curls.

"There she is!" I said pointing. "Sitting on the dock by the lake."

We descended on her in two seconds flat. I had no idea I could move as fast as that until that moment.

She turned to give us a bright sunny smile when she saw us, unaware of the scare we'd just been through and the danger she was currently in.

Gabriel picked her up and hugging her close before pulling away and shaking her gently. "Don't you ever, ever do that again?"

Keira's lips trembled when she saw that we were angry with her. "I-I-didn't do anything bad, I promise I didn't." She said, sniffling.

"You scared us to death."

Her tiny shoulders began to shake, as her sniffling became a full-blown sob. "I didn't mean too." She wailed

I took Keira from Gabriel's arms and hugged her to me. Cooed softly to her. "Shh, Shh, sweetheart, Gabriel didn't mean to yell."

The mist of anger and fear that had clouded his mind seemed to disappear as he began to notice how much his reprimand had affected Keira.

He rubbed her back, and stroked her hair until she calmed down. "I'm sorry honey, I shouldn't have yelled."

She lifted her head and peered up at him. "You hurt my feelings."

"I didn't mean to." He told her.

She puckered her lips and closed her eyes. "Kiss, please."

Gabriel grinned, and placed a smacking kiss her mouth.

"All forgiven?" He asked wiping her tear-streaked face.

"Yep."

I put her down to stand for herself, intent on setting some ground rules for leaving the house.

"You did scare us badly though." I remarked

"Why?"

"You should never leave the house without telling someone first." I stated.

She frowned. "But Gabriel said I could go anywhere I wanted to."

I heard Gabriel groan, then sign. "Anywhere in the house, honey, but when you go outside that can get dangerous."

"Why?"

"Because you might get hurt or a bad person could try and hurt you and we wouldn't be able to help you."

"Kay, but can I play on the dock sometimes. The water feels weally good."

"No!" We both said at the same time.

Keira pouted, and looked like she was going to protest.

"Here's the deal about the lake," Gabriel said, kneeing down to look her in the eyes. "You never come down here without a grown-up, and you never, ever go into the water alone."

"That's what my nanny said about the pool at our old house," Keira told him. "She said I might drownded."

"Your nanny was right," He told her.

"What's drownded?"

"Drowned," he corrected her. "You ever try to breathe underwater?"

Keira shook her head no, and her black curls bounced.

"Well, don't try it. People can't breathe underwater. Only fish can. And you don't look like a fish to me."

he little girl giggled, but persisted. "What's drownded?"

I reached down to rub the back of Gabriel's neck, wondering if he would try to sidestep the issue again, or if he would take the plunge and try to explain death to her.

"Well," He said slowly, "If someone goes into the water, and they can't swim, or the water is too high, then the water might go over their head. They won't be able to breathe. Normally, when the water goes over your head it's no big deal. You hold your breath. And then you just swim to the surface and stick your nose and mouth out and take a breath of air. But like I said, maybe this person can't swim so they can't get to the air. And if there's no air for them to breathe... well they die. They'll drown. People need air to breathe air to live."

Keira gazed unblinkingly at her brother. "I don't know how to swim," she said, her eyes showing her worry.

"Then we'll teach you," I said, wanting to sooth her fear. "Everyone should know how to swim. But even when you do know how to swim, you still don't swim alone. That way, if you get hurt or the water gets too high, you got a friend who can save you from drowning. Okay?"

"M'kay." She said.

Gabriel stood up, still looking at little shaky; Keira placed her small hand in his and grabbed mine also.

She tugged at us, and we began to walk towards the house, while Keira swung between us, giggling every time we lifted her off the ground.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I had just pulled the car into the driveway after shopping, and opened the car door when my cell phone rang. I reached for it and called out to Keira, who was racing to the house clutching a grocery bag, before answering. "No chocolate brownies before dinner."

"Aww, Man." She moaned.

I was laughing softly at her disgruntled tone when I clicked the ON button. "Hello.

"Connor, this is Detective Haynes."

"What can I do for Detective?"

"I'm afraid I have some bad news."

My body went on instant alert. The first thing that went through my mind was. 'Oh, no he's found us.'

"Is it about my case?"

"No, Yes." He answered that added. "It's your father. Your father is Dough McNeil and lives at 87 Cherry Boulevard correct?"

"Yes." I answered dread filling me. "What is it? What's wrong with my dad?"

"He was found last night, by a fireman."

"What?"

"It appears he was attacked and the person tried to cover it up. The paramedics brought him to Humber General with burns. The hospital was trying to contact you last night but they couldn't reach you at home, and I was just informed."

I braced, my heart freezing in my chest. "How is he?"

"I won't lie to you, it doesn't look very good."

The word echoed in my head, it's meaning punching me like a hammer. The roar of blood through my veins deafened me.

"Connor, you father was stabbed repeatedly."

Another punch, harder, more vicious twisted my guts into knots. "It was him, wasn't it?" I hissed through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry, it looks like it was." I could hear the remorse and sadness in voice, and a vague thread of pity, which made me want to lash out at him. "Why haven't you people been able to catch this murder yet? What kind of police are you?"

"I'm sorry, Connor, we're doing the best we can."

"It wasn't good enough was it? My dad might die because you can't do your fucking job properly." I said viciously then hung up the phone.

I gulped in air as bile choked me. OH God, Oh god, Oh God.

I was cold, trembling inside and out.

I was vaguely aware of Gabriel, standing in front of me, calling my name, first softly asking me questions, then as time went on he became more insistent, more demanding.

"What is it? What happened?"

"It's Dad," I choked. "Jesus Christ. He fucking got Dad."

"Oh, My God." He reached out to me, and pulled me into his arms, I remained stiff, immobile. "Please tell me he's not-oh, God."

I couldn't look at him. Not when my control was slipping away. I pulled free of his arms, and saw him flinch at my rejection of his comfort, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I didn't want to be touched. Didn't want any comfort, when my dad sat cold and alone. I should be cold too. "I should have been there. I should have protected him."

"Baby, no-"

I slammed my fist into the dash. Plastic shattered. Pain zinged up my arm. "Why him, Goddammit! Hasn't he been through enough?"

"Stop it. Connor. Stop it right now."

I couldn't breathe. Couldn't swallow. Panic gripped my throat, like a hangman's noose. Terror sent tremors through my body. I felt trapped. Panicked.

"Connor? Are you okay? Come back to me?"

I heard his voice as if through a fog. Gabriel. I sucked in a breath, felt the panic release its grip on my chest. "No I'm not okay, I don't think I'll ever be okay again."

"How bad is he hurt?"

"He's critical."

"Oh, God, is he going to be all right?"

"I don't know." I turned the key in the ignition, starting the car. "I need to go to the hospital."

"Okay, we'll drop Keira off at Elaine's and then I'll drive you..."

"No!" I said quickly, rejecting the idea. I didn't want to wait. I wanted to be with him, I needed to be there in case...if he...Oh God...in case he died. "I need to go now."

He reached over and pulled the key out the ignition. "Connor, you're in shock. Your hands are shaking and you can barely think straight. Jesus, your knuckles are bleeding. You are in no shape to be driving."

"I don't care. I don't care. I need to be there. I have to get to him."

"You will, I promise you will, but I won't let you kill yourself in the process." With that he walked away.

I fumed with anger. At him. At my stalker. At myself. This was because of me. If I hadn't done something to allow this guy into our lives. My father would fine, not in a hospital fighting for his life.

It took fifteen minutes to drop Keira off at Elaine's and then another 20 minutes to drive to Humber General Hospital where my dad was being treated.

Gabriel had drove like a madman, the silence between us was deafening, the tension in the air uncomfortable. I was alienating him, I knew but I didn't want him to see what lay beneath my eyes. The hate, the anger. I felt as if my soul had been instantly blackened by this new horror. As if the innocence I had left was corrupted by this man. I didn't want him to see that blackness that now lay in my heart. The need for revenge. For murder. For blood.

"He stabbed him Gabriel. He sliced him up, and then tried to burn him." I confessed hoarsely.

"Fuck!"

I closed my eyes to keep the tears that were burning my lids from being shed then hopped out of the car and made my way towards the hospital doors.

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Gabriel's POV

I always harbored a dislike for hospitals. Maybe it was the mercurial silence, the buzzing the overhead fluorescent lights, the smell of isopropyl alcohol and disinfectant, or the knowledge many people entering the building would not leave.

We strode into the surgical intensive care unit. Once through the set of double doors, we headed straight for the brightly lit nurses station in the center of the ward.

Neither of the two nurses noticed when we reached the station. Connor put his hands on the counter. "I need to see Doug McNeil." He announced.

A nurse with pretty eyes and long blond hair rose from her stool and smiled tiredly. Her nametag identified her as Betty Medina.

"Are you family?" she asked, coming around the counter.

"He's my father." Connor's voice was hoarse and shaky. A quick look at him told me he as quickly nearing the end of his endurance. He was hurting, clinging to the last fragile threads of his control. I wished I could do something to comfort him, but so far my efforts had been rejected.

"How's he doing?" I asked.

The nurse grimaced. "They had to do emergency surgery last night, he was brought back six hours ago." She looked at Connor. "His condition is very critical, he's going to be prepared for another surgery in a few minutes."

"Can I see him?" Connor asked.

"Just for a few minutes." She eyed me then said. "Only family is allowed in this unit, are you his son also?"

"No." I said, hoarsely.

"Then I'm afraid, you won't be able to visit him just yet."

I nodded understanding, not liking it but understanding. I couldn't think of my own hurt right now. I had to focus on Connor.

"You can wait in the waiting area over there." She pointed to a room around the corner.

I turned to Connor. "I'll be there if you need me, Okay?"

He nodded.

Before I could stop myself, I raised my hand and touched the side of his face. "Are you going to be alright?" I didn't know why I asked. I knew he wasn't. That he wouldn't be all right until this nightmare was over. Looking deeply into his eyes, I wished there was a way I could ease his pain, take away the guilt, but there wasn't. All I could do was be there for him.

Surprising me, he closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into my palm. It was the first offer of comfort he'd accepted. Then without a word he walked down the hall.

I watched him go, staring after him. After a few minutes I went to the waiting area, a place filled with comfortable dark blue scattered couches, love seats, and chairs. I sat down, and stood back up to start pacing.

I had to do something. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. That man meant a lot to me, though he'd been a basic stranger to me when I was growing up. Over the last years, he'd become a new constant in my life. A person that helped me have the confidence to pursue my dreams, first in running my own business and then in revealing my feelings to Connor.

I couldn't imagine him not being here. Pain crushed against my chest as a jolt of agony swept through me. 'No,' I admonished myself. 'He'd survive. He was strong. I wouldn't give up on him.'

I flipped Connor's cell phone open, wanting to call Hunter. Knowing Connor would want him here. There was signal. I glanced around, and then noticed the payphones located by a coffee machine.

I scrolled through Connor's phone book, and after locating the number, picked up the payphone and dialed.

It rang four times before a surly voice growled. "What?"

"Hunter?" I asked.

"Yes." The snarl hadn't left his tone.

"It's Gabriel." I said. "Connor's Dad was attacked last night. We're at the hospital. Humber General. Connor's visiting him right now but I think he's going to need you here." I was rambling, but Hunter hadn't said anything. I could hear his labored breathing though, and his gasp of shock.

"Hunter are you there?"

"Y-es," He stammered softly, and then said in a stronger tone. "Yes, I'm on my way. Humber General right?"

"Yes."

We hung up and I went back to pacing and waiting.

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Connor's POV

I followed her to the door, my legs feeling heavy and leaded. Outside the door, she picked up the chart, made a note, and then turned to me. "I can just allow you to stay 5 or 6 minutes."

"That's fine." I said. "Is he...can you tell me what exactly his injures are?"

She shook her head. "You'll have to wait for his doctor for that."

"Can..Can he hear me?"

"No, I'm afraid not." She said sadly. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

I was sweating when she guided me into the dimly lit room. My eyes were drawn immediately to the single bed, the indefinable heap beneath the white sheets that was my father. Inwardly, I cursed, both fate and the bastard responsible.

I took a deep breath and kept moving. The room was high-tech, even for a hospital, and more closely resembled an operating room, equipped for emergencies, as if that sort of thing happened often in this ward.

Above the bed, two monitors beeped. Lower, an I.V. bag and two larger bags filled with bodily fluids and blood hung like grotesques ornaments. The hiss of the respirator filled the silence with horrible sound.

The sight of my Dad hit me like a fist to the stomach. He was lying on his back with two small cylindrical pillows cradling his head. A quarter-inch-think tube ran from the respirator into his mouth. A second, thinner tube protruded from his left nostril. His left hand had a cast on it.

A thick section of gauze covered one side of his face from temple to chin. His face was swollen, yellow and bluish marks making him almost unrecognizable. Another bandage ran the length of his arm, all the way to his fingers.

Feeling a drop of sweat trickle between my shoulder blades, I peeled my jacket off and draped it over the back of the chair beside the bed. Struggling to keep the fear and rage at bay. This wasn't the place for it. I needed to be strong. I needed believe there was hope. For Dad. I sat down.

"Hey Dad." I said, pulling his good hand into my own gently, feeling the soft cotton against my palm. "The nurse said you might not be able to hear me but if you can, I want you to stay here with me okay. I know..." I broke off, and closed my eyes. Emotions clogging my throat. Something wet trickled down my cheek, and I wiped my hand across my face. I hadn't even realized I was crying. Clearing my throat I continued. "I know you might want to go up to heaven to watch over us but I still need you here with me. I'm being selfish but I don't care. There is so much left for you do. You haven't found Nick yet or seen me get married. You can't leave me. Daddy you can't, Okay, you have to come back, Okay?"

I looked up to his face, hoping that some how he'd heard me. That he would find a way to let me know he was still fighting. But he didn't respond. The only movement in the room was the respirator pumping air into his lungs.

"It should have been me," I whispered.

I laid my head against the steel bars that surrounded the bed, taking another deep breath, that's when I detected the garlicky odor of anesthesia and the unmistakable stench of singed hair and flesh. "Who could have done this to you?"

I wanted to scream against the injustice of this. It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve this. He had enough hurt and pain in his life. Suffered through them and survived. Why would anyone want to hurt him?

I remember when I was younger, before my mom had died, how happy he'd been. He used to laugh all the time, the sound so loud and filled with contentment and joy that you couldn't help but smile when you heard it. My mother never could stay mad at him, he'd tease and cajole her until she gave up and forgave him for whatever he'd done. Those years were his happiness, his most carefree. When my mother had died, lines of sorrow had been carved on his soul and for a short while Nick had taken away some of that loneliness, until he'd disappeared and had left him more broken.

I hadn't thought he would get over Nick's loss. He never really told me what was wrong when he'd been drinking at first. I guess he thought I was too young to notice how hurt and depressed he'd been, just like he thought I couldn't tell he was drinking all the time. But I knew. I knew because my father never smiled anymore and his eyes seemed dead when he looked at me. I heard the quiet sobs he tried to muffle by covering his mouth. I knew his breathe smelled like stale alcohol and that his eyes got glassy when he drank.

He'd been drunk the day he told me about Nick. I had come home from school and found him sitting on the couch, a vodka bottle in his hand looking down at a picture of him and Nick. I'd asked him who it was and he told me. The truth spilling from him, through slurred words, sobs, and gulps of vodka.

I don't think he remembers that afternoon. But I do. I remember the complete despair in his voice, the desolation. Though he put on a brave face and continued his life, he'd done so by closing off his heart to love. He stopped searching for Nick. He never dated. He concentrated on re-building our relationship, and then when we were both secure, his focus shifted to business.

I refused to let him die like that, heart broken and alone.

I was gripping his hand when the nurse came in to escort me out. "He needs to be prepped for surgery, Mr. McNeil," she said softly, placing a tray of syringes on the nearby tray.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Are you sure I can't get you something to drink? Coffee, maybe?"

I didn't look up at Gabriel when I shook my head. "No, thanks. I'm good."

"You want to take a break? Get up and walk around or maybe take a nap?" Gabriel look tired and tense. "I can keep watch for you. The nurse said there won't be any news for a couple more hours."

Hours.

And that time would pass so much more slowly than it had earlier. It was now 4 a.m. and though I usually considered myself a patient person I was very quickly losing my patience. No one would tell me anything. He could have died on the operating table and I wouldn't know. But I was trying very hard to stay positive, to not let my fear cloud my thoughts more than it already had.

I rolled my cramped neck. I still couldn't believe Gabriel had called Hunter. I wouldn't have thought of that in my numb state of my mind. Hunter had swept in with his usual support and optimism. I don't know how I could have made it through the last hours without him. Right now he was out, grabbing some take-out dinner for us, since the hospital food was disgusting. Not that I was hungry. I don't think my stomach was going to deal with any food, but he thought I needed to eat and wasn't about take no for answer, so I let him go. He needed a break anyway.

"You can go home you know. And take care of Keira."

I felt his body stiffen beside me. "What did you just say to me?" He said in a very low, dangerous tone.

"There's nothing you can do here..."

"Shut up." He said menacingly, cutting me off. He grabbed my neck and turned my head to face him. "Your shutting me out and I don't like it but I'll deal with it now because I know you're hurting. But don't you ever say anything like that to me again. You're not the only one hurting Dammit! I love your father. He's one of the best men I know. But even if I didn't know him, you and I are still partners. Do not treat me like a fuck buddy that's inconvenient right now. I love you and I'm going to be here with you." With that said, he release me and turned to fix his eyes on the coffee machine and across the room.

I was shocked by his words, the anguish behind them. He was right I was being selfish. "I'm sorry."

"So am I." He said. "If you can't trust me with your pain Connor. How the hell are we going to make a relationship work?"

"I trust you." I stated. "I just...." I trailed off. "I'm just not used to having someone to share things with. It's going to take awhile before I get use to it."

"Fair enough, as long as you try." He still seemed surly, but his shoulders were more relaxed.

Suddenly sheer exhaustion swamped me and without thinking I moved my body down further on the couch, stretched out and laid my head on Gabriel's lap. His hand came to my hair immediately, fingers massaging temple.

"I can't lose my father Gabriel." I confessed croakily. "I don't think I can survive it. We've gotten so close...And I...Everything was all just falling into place...I can't lose him...I love him so much."

He bent down, his hair falling over us covering our faces as he pressed his forehead against mine. "Oh baby, I wish I could make this all go away."

"Me too."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hunter's POV

I stood behind the doors watching them. Not wanting to interrupt their embrace. The minute I'd arrived I had felt the tension between the two of them. The real reason I had left was to give them some time to talk alone.

I couldn't help the stab of jealousy as I gaze upon them. They looked so good together. I had thought I could have that, for a brief moment in time I thought I had found that with Tobias. I should have known better.

I was just a quick lay for him, a warm body that happened to say yes. I would remember this experience next time, because I wasn't going to give up on finding someone. I would just be more cautious, not giving away too much or hoping for too much so soon.

"I didn't know you were going to be here." My back went rod straight at the sound of his voice.

I squared my shoulders, refusing to let him get to me. "Where else would I be, Detective." I said coldly, then without even glancing in his directions. I entered the waiting room.

To Be Continued.......