Payback

Payback

By Felicia Trans

feliciatvnj@hotmail.com

Early Memory:

I was about 5 years old and I woke up to the sound of loud voices in the bedroom next door. I slipped out of bed and went to my parent's bedroom door to listen and found it ajar and was able to see through the crack. My mom was sitting on the side of the bed in her nightgown and my dad was standing in front of her, naked, and from the side I could see his cock sticking out, large, red, and angry looking.

I heard my mother say 'I don't want to, it's disgusting' and my dad replied 'Just suck it, will you?' He pushed his cock in my mothers face and said 'Open your mouth' and when she didn't he put his cock against my mother's lips and pushed and it slipped inside her mouth. And I heard her gag. He reached down and placed his hands in her hair and began to push his cock in and out of her mouth, and she tried to pull away, and gagged again, and he stopped for a second.

My mother began to use her mouth on his cock at this point, and I could see her moving her mouth over it, and then my father moaned and all of a sudden held her head in place and pushed his cock all the way into her mouth and held it there as he groaned loudly. She began to cough, and as he pulled his cock out of her mouth she coughed again, and a glob of thick white gooey stuff slid down her chin, and as she sat there breathing hard I could see it dripping onto her nightgown.

My dad walked away and into the bathroom as my mother sat there with tears running down her cheeks. And a minute later my dad came out of the bathroom and without a word pulled back the covers, lie down on his side, and fell asleep.

I quickly went back to my room, confused, and as I tried to fall asleep the pictures of them went through my head, over and over.

After that I discovered it was a regular occurrence, usually when my dad came home from a night of drinking. Only one other time was I able to see it, the door was usually closed, but I could hear them through the door, my dad groaning and my mother coughing and gagging. And I should have felt sorry for my mother, but as puberty started nearing I found myself getting excited instead.

High School:

As a teenager, the older kids in my neighborhood were always talking about sex, and blowjobs were the main topic. Nice girls wouldn't do that, so the talk was usually about either whores who would do anything for money or queers who did it because they were perverts. But it was always referred to as something dirty and disgusting. Which made it something we all wanted to get... and I thought about it constantly.

Going into high school I never had any trouble with girlfriends. I was only 5'7, with dark hair and blue eyes, and with a very slim but muscular build, but the girls liked me. The girls would kiss, but little else, and it was frustrating.

But it really all started with me in Boy Scouts. In my second year at Boy Scout camp I was working at the camp store with another scout, and I saw him pocket a few dollars from the cash box. After we closed down and left together I told him I'd seen him take the money. He freaked and begged me not to tell anyone, and I told him that if I didn't I could get blamed for it. 'Please don't' he said 'I'll do anything' I thought for a second and replied 'If you suck my dick I'll keep quiet' 'Not that' he said 'Anything but that' I shook my head and started walking away, and he came running after me, begging, but I didn't give in. Finally he said 'I don't have a choice, I'll get thrown out if you tell on me'

He followed me down a trail into a grove of trees and I dropped my pants and my cock came out, and I said 'Here it is' He reluctantly kneeled down and I pushed my cock towards his mouth, which he opened, and when I pushed in a little he gagged and I pulled back. 'Don't cum in my mouth' he said, and I said OK, and I began to slowly push in and out of his mouth as he made little gagging noises. His warm wet mouth felt great around my cock, and when I felt myself getting close, and I grabbed his head in both hands and pushed all the way into his throat.

With the tight warmth of his throat enveloping my cock I exploded like I never had before and multiple blasts of my hot cum spewed into his gullet as I held his head forcefully in place while he choked and gagged loudly. And when I finally let him go he leaned down and threw up, and as I watched him a feeling came over me like I'd never experienced before. And before he'd even caught his breath I walked away back to camp.

The next day at the camp store we were both there again, and I tried playing the blackmail card again but he started crying and said he was never going to do that again - even if I was going to be an asshole and tell someone. So I dropped it, and didn't tell anyone, and for the rest of the summer he avoided me and when he had to talk to me he couldn't look me in the eye. And for reasons I really didn't understand, I liked that.

In my junior year I went into the city with some friends and we all picked up some whores. The one I was with was in her late twenties and not bad looking, and she took me to a hotel room. 'Honey, you can fuck me for $20, or I'll suck your cock for $10 - what do you like?' Already hard, I pulled out a $10 bill from my wallet and handed it to her wordlessly - and she quickly dropped to her knees, opened my belt, and leaned forward and began sucking on my cock.

Her mouth felt great, and I moaned, and a few minutes later I felt myself getting close and at the last minute I reached down and held her head and pushed my cock into her throat and shot my sperm. She started choking, and pulled her mouth off my cock violently, and with my sperm dripping from her lips called me an asshole. I quickly pulled up my pants and left, as she cursed me.

Having a woman blow me had been great, but she'd been too willing to begin with, and paying for it took something away also.

Shortly after that I was walking through a local park and stopped in the restroom to take a piss, and there was a middle aged queer there who asked if he could suck my dick. We went into a stall and he sat on the seat and began to suck me, but he was enjoying it way too much, even when I held his head and began forcefully fucking his mouth and throat, and when I shot my sperm into his throat he began to moan with pleasure. At that point I realized that guys weren't going to do it for me - unless, possibly, if it was against their will completely.

I was dating girls in school, and I found that the cute ones were the least likely to want to do anything, much less blow me. So I began to pay attention to the less pretty ones ... the plain girls, the shy ones, the ones who were less bright. And I found that these girls were more likely to put out and if I worked at it I could frequently get them to suck my cock - even if they didn't want to.

I was always nice to them in the beginning, and if I could get them to suck me off I started slow, pulling out my cock before I came and letting them work at their own pace. And when they first started sucking me they usually hated it but over time I'd get them to take my sperm in their mouth, almost always gagging as they did, which was a turn on in itself. As long as they really disliked sucking me or swallowing my sperm I didn't go any further, but when they eventually got used to it completely and it didn't bother them anymore I'd eventually start getting a little rough, holding their heads and thrusting into their throats as I released my cum ... and eventually they'd have enough and be gone, leaving me to find a new girl of a similar type to play with.

Late Teens:

After graduation I took a job in real estate selling houses, and found myself frequently showing empty houses during the day to the wives who would look at them first and bring their husbands out to only the ones they liked. I also found that many of these wives were horny unfulfilled women, and before long I was playing with them in a lot of the empty houses. Most of the women were looking to be fucked and kissed passionately, and I would do that for them but never came myself - which wasn't tough for me since fucking wasn't much of a turn on.

But after they came I always pressed for a blowjob, and satiated, they'd more often than not agree. And when the woman was someone I suspected wasn't going to be buying anything from me and was merely wasting my time window shopping, I'd hold back my cum as she used her mouth on my cock till the last minute and then hold her head in place and thrust several times deep into her throat and holding it as my balls emptied into her and she usually gagged. The wife would virtually always be pissed but I knew she wouldn't tell her husband since she'd voluntarily fucked me and started sucking my cock to begin with.

More often than not I'd never see these women again, but sometimes they really wanted the house and would come back with the husband. That was a total turn on to me, the women avoiding my eyes completely as I talked to the husband, knowing I'd used his wife's mouth, and that he was daily kissing the lips that had been around my cock and putting his tongue in the mouth that had been full of my sperm.

At this point in my life I had my own apartment that I never took any of the girls home to. My mom had passed away near the end of my high school years, and my dad had moved down south, but my mother's insurance policy was very large and my dad had written me a large check before he'd left. I'd used the money to get the apartment and furnish it nicely with good furniture and high-end electronics, and I'd bought myself a nice car ... all cash.

There was still a very large group of guys I was hanging around with, many had girlfriends, and the guys were all still talking constantly about their sexual exploits, fantasies, and desires, and blowjobs were still the head topic of conversation. But I never really talked about my experiences because I knew that there was something unsavory about them to many people. And because I never did talk about them, word about my sexual likes never got out and new girls were still attracted to me regularly.

I had stopped growing at 5'9" tall, still had the same slim build with a small waist, long hair pulled back into a ponytail, and the prettier girls were still always flirting. I was still playing around with the plain low self esteem girls, but those were always strictly sexual things (to me, at least) and I never took them out anywhere in public so nobody really knew about them. But I also regularly went out with the more popular girls, though I was more careful around them.

There was one girl in particular who drove me crazy - Eileen. Red hair, green eyes, perfect makeup with blood red nails and full red lips and great body. An Irish girl in a large family of boys, and rumor had it that her family was somehow connected to illegal activities of some type. She was one of the somewhat unattainable types, though, with a sharp tongue at times and lots of self-confidence. I put on my best behavior with her and finally asked her out to dinner and the movies, and at the end of the night I got a quick kiss on the lips for my efforts. We began dating, but after a half dozen dates I was still getting nothing but some kisses in the car and a little petting through clothes, as I dropped her off.

One night after dinner with her I drove out to a secluded area about few miles outside of town and parked the car. 'Chris, What are we doing here' she asked, and I said 'It's just a nice place to park' and she relaxed a little. We started kissing, and this time when I reached inside her blouse and started rubbing her tits she didn't stop me, and after awhile I reached down and started to slide my hand up her skirt. 'Don't' she said, and moved away a little. 'Why not?' I asked 'we've been going out for awhile' 'I don't do that' she replied 'if I got pregnant my life would be over' 'I have condoms' I said, but she quickly replied 'Forget it - they're not 100% safe and I'm not even taking a slight chance'

I was quiet for a minute, and then said 'How about a blowjob then' 'Forget it -it's not going to happen. Why don't you just take me home?' I began to get pissed and horny at the same time, and said 'Why don't you just get out now and walk home' 'It's too far, drive me home now' she said in a pissy voice.

Her tone of voice really got to me, and I said 'Eileen, either you can blow me and I'll drive you home, or you can get out of the car now' She looked me square in the eye and saw something in my face and finally said 'OK, if you want to be an asshole ... but you're history.' I opened my belt and lowered my pants and jockey shorts and my cock sprang out. And she resignedly leaned over into my lap and began to suck my cock.

The minute she started I knew she'd sucked many cocks before, she was really expert with her mouth and tongue, and she knew exactly what to do to get me off quickly. Knowing she'd sucked off many cocks before mine, but had been jerking me around and taking my dinners while doing nothing for me really pissed me off. So I purposely held back and let her work for a good amount of time, and when I finally sensed she was getting tired I reached down and held her head in place and began thrusting hard, upward, into her throat. She gagged loudly and I exploded, filling her throat with cum, and when I was done and released her head, she lifted her head and began coughing as my sperm slid down her chin.

She caught her breath and curled up in a ball on the passengers seat, looking out the window and said 'Take me home now' I started the car and we drove back to her house silently. But when she had gotten out of the car she leaned back in and said coldly 'Chris, you have no idea what kind of mistake you just made ... payback for that will be a bitch' and walked away. I shrugged it off and drove away and went home and, satiated, fell into a deep sleep.

After a few days I had almost forgotten about it, and on the next Friday night I was leaving my office late. My company was one of the larger real estate offices in the area and we had a suite in one of those very large and modern office complexes, and as I walked across the lobby the security guard said 'You're the last one out'. And I said goodnight knowing he was going to fall asleep for the night as usual. I walked out to my car, and the large lot was empty except for a van parked next to my car and I didn't pay it any attention at all. But as I was reaching down to unlock the car an arm came around my throat from behind and a chemical smelling rag was pressed over my face and everything went dark.

I woke up in a fog, and found myself lying naked on my back under bright fluorescent lights. And then I heard a female voice say 'Good, he's awake' I went to move my hand and found I couldn't, and I soon discovered I was bound on both hands and feet and was laying on some kind of padded table. When I looked towards the voice I'd heard I saw Eileen, the redhead, standing there with 2 other large guys, one of whom somewhat resembled her. 'Payback's a bitch' she said to me with a hard smile as she walked over 'remember me mentioning that?' 'What are you going to do to me?' I asked, as my situation started sinking in.

She didn't answer me, but motioned to one of the guys who came walking over wearing rubber gloves and holding something shiny. He reached over and roughly grabbed my balls and I felt cold metal against them as he used a tool to tighten something. Then he said 'Try it', and Eileen came over to stand next to me holding a remote control and I saw her push a button as an unbelievably excruciating pain shot through my testicles and my whole body spasmed. 'I can do that anytime I want' said Eileen, smiling 'keep that in mind'

Someone began taking pictures of me, and a flash was constantly going off as the other guy came walking over with a small box, which he placed, on the table, and then he pulled out a large curved needle and I winced. He took a strap and bound my forehead to the table so I couldn't move and then grabbed my right earlobe and proceeded to push the needle through 3 separate times as I gasped, and he held up shiny stainless steel rings which he then pushed through the holes and closed with pliers. Then he leaned over my face and I felt the needle go through my eyebrow and I saw him placing another ring through that hole and close it. Then the needle went through my nose above the nostril and another ring was placed.

I lay there covered in sweat, my heart racing. Then I was unbound from the table and the two guys roughly yanked me to my feet and cuffed my hands behind my back and told me to stand as the door opened and a woman came in carrying what looked like a hot pot and a pile of cloth.

I was told to stand still as the woman began to apply hot wax all over my body, cover it with cloths, and rip it off along with my body hair. I freaked and started to pull away and the next thing I knew I was screaming as the pain again went through my balls and I doubled over. Eileen said 'Give him the shot' and one of the guys came over and stuck a syringe in my arm and within seconds I was feeling somewhat foggy... wide awake but the knot went out of my stomach and when the woman resumed the waxing the pain was more in the background. She finally finished at my pubic region and seemed to be selective there.

Then I was pushed into a chair and she did the same with my entire face - though she leaned in and did around my eyebrows carefully. When she was finally done my face was wet from tears and I hurt all over, but the woman came over with a pair of scissors and cut the rubber band holding my hair back, and pulled a brush through my hair and began snipping at it with the scissors. And then I was lifted up and brought over to a mirror and saw myself.

Except for a small pubic patch, very thin eyebrows, and the hair on my head I was completely hairless, and the hair on my head had been trimmed into a girly style with bangs and layered around my face. When I turned around Eileen lifted up a camera and took several quick pictures of me like that before I covered my face.

I was dragged from the room and brought down the hall where I was thrown into a shower, ice cold water was turned on, and I was roughly washed off with a liquid soap, and then roughly dried with a towel - and brought back to the first room and shoved in a chair where my wrists and ankles were again bound to the chair.

Eileen came walking back in with a nasty smile on her face, and I said 'Please, I'm really sorry for everything. Please let me go' 'You'll be sorrier before this is over' she said, and pulled over a chair next to me and opened a case on a small table. She began o take cosmetics out of the bag and then took what looked like a black marker pen with a very fine tip and said 'Hold still or I'll push the button'.

I stayed motionless as she began to draw a line around my eyes, and when she was done with that she pulled out a small bottle and a brush and carefully painted my lips with some bright red liquid. 'Those are permanent stains' she said 'but nothing's permanent so I'm sure they'll go away in a few weeks' Then she began to make me up completely, rubbed some flesh colored cream all over my face, patted on a powder, used a brush with several colors of powder on my eyelids, used a mascara brush on my eyelashes, brushed some dark pink powder on my cheeks, used a pencil on my eyebrows, and covered my lips with a shiny gloss.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a package of very long fake nails in a bright red color and crazy glued them over my own nails, then dropped to the floor and painted my toenails a red to match. And before I had a chance to say anything she pulled out what looked like large silicone breasts in a totally lifelike color, applied crazy glue to them as well and held them in place for a few seconds on my chest.

She packed her stuff up and started to leave the room, but first she told the 2 guys who'd been standing there watching 'Dress the whore' and then she left. They both came over and unstrapped me and yanked me to my feet and I was handed a stiff G string type thing and told to pull it on, and I did, finding it completely held my cock in, and then they threw me a black bra and panties to put on, a black leather corset for around my waist which was pulled so tight I could barely breathe. And then I was told to pull on black stockings that one of the guys attached to the garters hanging from the corset. And finally I was handed a pair of stiletto heeled shoes which I fumbled with till they were finally strapped, and I was yanked to my feet, where I stood shakily in the heels.

One of them knocked on the door and it opened and Eileen came back in carrying a tall mirror, which she held in front of me - and I was in shock. In the mirror I saw what looked like a tall hooker with too much makeup and bright red lips and nails, and multiple piercings. Eileen put down the mirror and said 'Personally, I wouldn't have bothered with all this trouble, except all the guys I've talked to about this were only interested in trannies. Then she pulled out the camera again and started taking more pictures, and this time I didn't bother to cover my face.

OK, cuff him, then let's go'. One of the guys pulled my arms behind me and handcuffed them together, then pushed me towards the door. I stumbled in the heels, but kept walking and was led down the hall and through a door to a parking lot, where I was pushed into the back of a van. The van took off and a few minutes later we entered the inner city and pulled up in front of a sleazy looking bar with a large crowd of black guys hanging out front. I was pulled out of the van and led through the crowd to the front door as one of the guys said 'She look like a fi'dollar ho' followed by laughter, and the guy guiding me through said 'Nah, it's a one dollar whore' to even more laughter.

I was pushed in through the open door and stumbled and fell to my knees this time. And as I was being yanked to my feet I looked around and saw that the place was packed, and the smell of stale beer and urine assaulted my nose. I was pushed through the bar to peals of laughter and pushed through another doorway where I fell to my knees again. But this time, before I could stand someone cuffed my ankles together and then held my head while another guy pulled down hard on my chin and slipped something in my mouth, and when they stepped back I felt what seemed to be a large rubber coated ring forcing my teeth to a painfully open position.

A group of black guys gathered around me and Eileen walked through the crowd and stood in front of me. 'Now the payback is really starting' she said 'and you're going to know what it feels like. And this is only the beginning.' Then she said to the guys there 'She's really a dollar whore wannabee, but needs training - so tonight she's free, and you don't have to be gentle. Who's first? Preferably someone really large'

A guy stepped forward and lowered his pants and I saw a huge cock in front of my face. It had to be 10" long and wasn't even hard. The guy reached down to hold my head and pushed his cock into my mouth through the ring. I immediately tried to pull away but my head was being held like a vice as I could feel his warm, now slippery cock, sliding slowly into and out of my mouth, rubbing against the lips which I couldn't completely close and sliding over my tongue.

It was horrible but there was nothing I could do as he got harder and harder in my mouth and when he pulled out there was the longest cock I'd ever seen in my face, hard as a rock, with a purplish mushroom head. 'Get ready bitch' he said and he tightened his grip on my head and pushed his cock, hard, all the way in, and when it popped into my throat painfully I immediately gagged hard and could feel the contents of my stomach rising.

He heard the gag and pulled out and stepped way back, and I started vomiting through the ring in my mouth and my puke shot out like a fire hose onto the floor first, then onto my lap and chest. When I finished puking and was still catching my breath the guy stepped forward and pushed his cock into my throat again so my nose was pressed against his pubic hair, and I gagged and started vomiting again, but this time he kept his cock in my mouth and the puke shot out of my nostrils and dribbled out the sides of my mouth and onto my chest and lap.

This was repeated a half dozen more times, and finally there was nothing left in my stomach and my head fell forward as I tried to catch my breath. But before I had a chance to do that, the guy stepped forward again and pushed into my mouth and I still gagged and coughed but this time I was ignored as he began to fuck my throat hard, and it felt like the end of his cock was in my chest as the entire length slid in and out of the ring and between my lips. And then he pushed in and held it and I could feel warmth as he began to shoot his sperm inside of me and I couldn't breathe anymore.

But just before I was going to pass out he pulled his cock out of my throat and the nasty taste of his sperm finally hit me as I coughed hard and cum began to spurt from my nostrils and down my face. I kneeled there dry heaving and covered with puke and sperm but within seconds another cock was at my lips and it started all over again - but this time there was nothing to puke so my stomach just heaved painfully. And I could hear the clicks and see the camera flash as pictures were constantly being taken.

More black men with large cocks fucked my throat, and after a few more the vomiting stopped but not the pain, and several times I passed out only to be slapped back to consciousness. Load after load of thick disgusting cum slid down my throat till finally it became numb, but my jaws were excruciating painful from the ring forcing my mouth open wide.

Then someone came over and lifted me up and pulled me out of the puke area, and as he held me another guy came over wearing rubber gloves and holding a wet cloth and began wiping the puke and sperm off me. Most of it was on my leather bustier and chest and wiped off and my stockings wiped off as well so except for a damp wetness inside the bra I looked fairly clean... but the puke fumes were still wafting up around me. Eileen came over with a few makeup things, powder and lip gloss, and brushed my hair quickly. Then I was dragged over to a different area that was dry and pushed back down onto my knees.

Eileen walked in front of me and said 'It looks like her throat is trained anyway' followed by loud laughter. A guy came walking over and reached down and pulled the ring from my mouth, then bent over to uncuff my hands but left my feet cuffed together. Eileen looked at me and said 'I'll leave the ring out, but if you cause any problems it'll go back in AND I'll hold down the button for a long time' and held up the remote. I nodded my head up and down; anything was better than that pain.

And when another guy came over and pushed his thick long black cock towards my mouth I opened right up for it, and when he started pushing towards my throat I began using my lips and tongue and sucked on his cock head and ran my tongue all over everything in my mouth which kept him out of my throat for awhile at least. And when he started thrusting in and out I used my hands to stroke his shaft as I sucked and this time he released his full blast of sperm onto my tongue. But now I got the full nasty taste of his sperm as he continued to spew his thick slimy juices into my mouth and I gagged as I swallowed. But it was still far better than having it discharged directly into my plugged up throat. And as his cock was pulled back out of my lips I again noticed the camera clicking and flashing.

One cock after another appeared before me, and I began to use different ways to get the guys to cum in the least painful manner. My tongue began to move certain ways without me thinking about it, I instinctively sucked and slid my lips up and down as my hands followed, and while many did push into my throat to cum I was getting used to it and controlling it to a degree.

I was still shuddering involuntarily every time someone released their sperm inside me, but except for the taste found that while it was still awful if their cock spurted on my tongue instead of in my throat, if I didn't think about what was being done to me the cum slid down my throat painlessly.

I lost count, but after what had to be at least 50 large black cocks using my mouth (as a camera continually clicked and flashed) two men lifted me to my feet and I was walked over to the pool table and told to lay down on my back and I was positioned so my head was hanging backwards upside down off the end of the table.

And then the biggest cock I had ever seen, even in pictures, appeared before me, it had to be 15" long and coal black. It slid between my cum slicked lips and continued right into my throat until I could feel it deep inside me, and then began to thrust in and out as a pair of huge black hairless balls slammed against my nose and eyes. For some reason, probably the angle, I wasn't getting a gag reflex but I had to take short breaths when the cock left my throat in between thrusts. And then he pushed all the way in and held it and I felt warmth deep inside me as his sperm began filling my gullet, and I could feel his balls pressed against my nose diminishing in size as he continued to empty them.

I was close to passing out from lack of oxygen when he finally pulled out, and when I tried to catch a breath the cum inside me was blocking my air. I couldn't swallow in that position and I coughed and expelled a huge pool of ropy fluids that slid down my face over my nose and totally filled my eye sockets and continued running down my forehead into my hair. My hands were free so I tried wiping my eyes clean but the next cock was quickly sliding inside my slimy mouth and I only barely could see the camera flashes as a different pair of testicles slapped against my nose as my throat again was used as a pussy.

I was kept in that position for what seemed like an eternity as my mouth and throat were repeatedly assaulted by cock after cock, and I'd given up on keeping my eyes cleared and instead used the opportunity after dislodging and expelling the cum from my throat to catch a few deep breaths. My entire face had a thick coating of clammy sperm covering it completely, my throat and lips were completely numb, and my neck extremely sore from my head hanging backwards. And I tried to keep my mind blank, with the constant thought that this would eventually be over. And eventually it was.

I was lifted to my feet and leaned against the table on shaky legs, and as I began to clear my eye sockets and was able to see again through a cum haze I saw Eileen standing there with the camera taking picture after picture of me.

And then everything went black as I passed out.

I first heard the voices in the background as I came to, then felt the sun on my eyelids as I realized I was laying on a hard cold surface. And then I felt the soreness in my throat and neck and my skin felt tight, and I remembered as it all came back to me... I opened my eyes to find myself laying on the marble floor in the middle of lobby at work. And I was surrounded by a large crowd of people staring at me; some laughing, but most were wearing looks of total disgust. And among them were my co-workers, including my manager who just shook his head and started walking away as I caught his eye.

I sat up and looked down to see that I was wearing the same lingerie as the night before except now it was covered with stains and crusted sperm. My nails were still bright red, and I reached up and felt my face first, then my hair, and realized I was totally encrusted with dried cum. And then came the final humiliation.

On the floor at my feet was a very large regular photo of me from my real estate ad - and scrawled across the bottom was 'Do You Know This Man?'. And next to that picture and surrounding me in a large circle were dozens of other 8X10 computer printed pictures that had been taken last night ... some were of me before the makeup but after the piercing and shaving, most were close-ups of my face with a large black cock in my mouth, though some were taken further back to show me on my knees using my hands to stroke the large black cock in front of me as I sucked on the head of it, and still others showed me with my head back and my face almost covered with cum.

But in none of the pictures did it seem to be apparent that I was being forced to do anything.

I sat up and heard someone ask the guard 'When did this happen?' And I heard the guard reply, in a small voice 'I must've been sleeping' I stood up and pushed through the crowd and headed to the parking garage but realized I didn't have my keys... or any money. I walked outside and the street and sidewalk were packed with traffic, and kept my face down and ignored the comments as I walked to the cabstand down the street. But when I got there cab after cab refused to let me in, and finally I found someone who would but he wanted cash up front and I didn't have any.

I began walking home, which was in the suburbs across the city, almost 3 miles away and after a few steps reached down and pulled off my heels and kept walking, barefoot. I was completely humiliated as everyone I passed either gasped or laughed out loud, cars were beeping, and it seemed like an eternity before I reached the suburbs. My stomach felt full, and hurt, and I could barely keep myself from puking on the street when I thought about why. And in many ways the last mile was the worst, mostly mothers with small children were out, and some were covering their children's eyes when they saw me.

Somehow I made it to my apartment and fortunately had a key over the door frame, but as I shut the door behind me it seemed like my life was over, and sat on a kitchen chair, crying till I was cried out - and then I walked into the bathroom. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror as I stripped off the lingerie and stepped into the shower where I stood under the hot water for a long time and scrubbed every inch of my face, hair, and body. I didn't have anything to take off the nails or polish, though, and when I tried to remove the breast forms glued to my chest it started peeling my skin off painfully. And when I got out of the shower and saw myself I realized that the red lip stain and eyeliner weren't going to come off either. Naked, I went into the bedroom and fell asleep on the bed.

The phone ringing awakened me and when I answered it was my boss. And all he said was 'Don't bother coming in anymore, you're fired, we'll send a courier over with your personal stuff' and hung up. And right after that it rang again, and it was a friend of mine who said 'Dude, you are too weird, don't bother calling anymore' When I replied 'What?' he said that he and most of my other friends had gotten pictures of me on email... then he hung up. I unplugged the phone at that point.

My stomach was still feeling weird, most likely from all the cum I'd swallowed and ingested, and I shuddered at that thought as I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator - then realized there was nothing to eat in the house. 'Shit' I said aloud as I realized I was going to have to go out looking like a freak. But then as I was going in my closet I thought I'd probably look less freakish in something androgynous, and I pulled out a light V neck sweater and a pair of tight jeans and pulled on a pair of tennis sneakers, and then left the house hoping none of the neighbors would see me.

They didn't, and I got in my car and drove to a Quick Check some distance from my house where I picked up some food - and when I was paying for it, instead of the clerk staring at me, she simply said 'Is there anything else, miss?'... And I shook my head no and left and drove back home.

The next day I stayed mostly in bed, depressed and thinking about what had happened. At first I just was angry and felt sorry for myself but inevitably the thoughts turned inward and I started thinking about what a bastard I'd been towards women. And I began trying to understand what had made me act like that.

At first I thought it had just been those early episodes of seeing my father using my mother like he had, and I was just trying to emulate my dad who had otherwise been my role model. Then I wondered if it had been anger at my mother that had brought it on, and why had I been angry with my mother? Had it been because she hadn't fought back? Maybe since the beginning I had wanted to be the woman with the opportunity to please her man, and couldn't understand why she wouldn't have wanted to suck my fathers cock and happily swallow the sperm that was being offered to her instead of fighting him every time. Or maybe I had always subconsciously wanted to be used myself, to have someone treat me with the contempt I treated others.

But once I started thinking along all of those lines, there was a snowball effect. I had run out of food again and was going to have to go out, and looking in the mirror I saw that the 'permanent' makeup that had been put on me was still highly visible but was starting to look worn. The polish was off my nails but the breast forms were just starting to peel off on the edges. I put on the same clothes as last time and went out, but this time I drove to a large shopping center in the next town and after food shopping went into a Wal-Mart and got a shopping cart.

First I picked out a woman's bra and panties and then some girls jeans and a light sweater - holding them up I guess at the sizes, too nervous to use the dressing room. Then I bought a pair of flats and a cheap purse, and finally I went into the cosmetics section and bought some stuff.

I really didn't know much of anything but had watched women put on makeup before, and I bought some liquid stuff and powder that seemed to be the color of my skin, some makeup pencils, a few different eye shadows, some mascara, and finally some nail polish and lipstick - in bright red and in a softer pink color.

I went home and practiced with the makeup, going on Internet sites for makeup tips, and finally I thought I looked pretty good. I repainted my nails, and dressed in the girl jean and sweater with the flats. And then went out again to do some more shopping and this time I felt more confident of myself and bought a lot more clothes and some more makeup.

And as I was pushing the shopping cart out of the store an older guy said 'Let me help you with that' - and without thinking I said in a soft voice 'Only if you let me help you afterwards'

And a few minutes later we were in my back seat, my mouth sliding up and down his cock voluntarily, and when he groaned and began to release his cum into my mouth I found myself moaning unconsciously.