Paulina

Paulina's First Allies part 2

Please read "Paulina- an Introduction" if you're not familiar with her character from my other stories.

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/transgender/teen/paulina/paulina-an-introduction

This story is from the beginning of her young sexual journey and her first experiences as Paulina. It is from when she began her collection of people that came to care for, love and protect her. Among the most important were The Greens, who would become her adopted family for several years. Shirley would become her surrogate mother until the end of high school.

Forgot to mention the main characters when I posted part 1:

Paulina,11: cross-dressing boy. Feminine, Italian looks. Shirley Green,32: Friend Louis' mother. Tall, dark and beautiful. Paulina's surrogate mother. Louis Green, 13: Paulina's classmate and close friend. Joe Green, 33: Louis' dad and Shirley's husband. Tall, dark and handsome.

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Night with Miss Shirley

"Come back here you trampy looking little bitch!" my mother yelled when she saw what I was wearing when I got home from school.

"You better take those fucking girly clothes off before I beat your ass with my paddle!" This would be her S & M paddle she used with her 'friends'.

"Leave me alone, you evil woman!" I ran to my room and locked the door. I didn't expect her to be home so early on Friday afternoon. I would usually change clothes into something less feminine than what I wore to school. I didn't have the chance to do so that day. I was scared she would try to come after me and I wanted to leave. I took my school books out of my bag and put some clothes - panties, night shirt, shorts and shirt for tomorrow. I didn't know where I would go, but I was not staying home that night.

Listening with my ear to the door, I could hear her complaining from her bathroom. She couldn't see me from there, so I quietly opened my door and locked it as I left. I went to the garage and got my bike. I made it out without her catching me. Leaving our house as fast as I could, I rode around the church next to our house to figure out what I was going to do next. I sat next to an old oak tree that I often climbed and started to cry. I was scared and mad at the same time. I couldn't understand why she was so angry. Not just with me, but with my dad, my sisters, with life in general. She was making me want to spend less and less time at home. It was getting a little overwhelming.

I tried to calm down for a minute so I could figure out what I was going to do. I wasn't going to go to one of the neighbor's, nor one of my neighborhood friends since they were too close to my house and she might go looking for me. I started crying from the fear and anxiety again, so I got on my bike and rode as fast as I could, not paying attention or caring where I was going. I ended up at the levee, worn out from riding so hard. I realized that I was not very far from Louis' house. I decided to go see him since I didn't have anywhere else to go. I knew he and his parents would be nice to me. Plus, his house was less than a mile away.

I rode to his house, knowing the way well since I would go help him with schoolwork every so often. A few people recognized me and waved, since I was probably the only white kid they ever saw riding through their neighborhood. I tried to smile and wave back, but I was too upset. Arriving at his house, I tried to compose myself before knocking on the door. I wiped my tears and tried to look less upset.

I knocked but didn't hear anyone. Joe's truck was gone, and I didn't know that Shirley's car was in the garage. Afraid that they weren't home, I got anxious wondering what to do if they weren't there. I was tearing up again. Knocking one more time, I finally heard the sweet voice of Louis' mom.

"Who is it?" Her voice sounded happy.

"P-Paulina"

"Hold on sweetie, I'm coming." She opened the door with a big smile.

"Hi baby, so nice to see you. Oh - what's wrong? Come on in here. Did something happen?"

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I dropped my bag and ran the few steps to her. Hugging her waist and burying my head in her bust, I burst into tears, crying hard. "Miss Shirley..."

She wrapped her arms around me and patted my back, telling me in a soothing voice, "It's alright baby, you gonna be alright. Momma Shirley's gonna take care of you."

I cried for a good minute or so before I started to calm down. She just held me. I hugged her, not wanting to let go. My face was wet from so much crying, so she let me go and got me some tissue. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose, clearing my face as best as I could. My eyes were red and swollen, and my face was puffy, but I felt a little better.

She led me to the sofa. "Sit down baby and tell me what happened."

"M-my mother was home from work earlier than normal and saw what I wore to school today. She freaked out and got really mad. She started yelling, calling me a 'trampy looking little b---', and that if I kept on wearing girl's clothes that I would turn into 'another useless – a real nasty word – like my sister. Then she told me that if I didn't go change my clothes, then she was going to 'beat my butt with her paddle'. Last time she spanked me harder every swing and kept going for a long time. It hurt to sit for a few days. My butt was dark red, purple and bruised in spots. I hate her for doing that!"

She pulled me into her bosom, rocking a little. "Shhh, it's okay now. You gonna be alright." She was so soft and warm, and felt so good that I didn't want to move.

"How's about you help me cook? I bet you didn't eat anything, did you?"

"Okay. I ate lunch but that was it. My mom got mad as soon as I got home, so I didn't get a snack or anything."

"Come on then, let's go to the kitchen."

"Miss Shirley, where are Louis and Mr. Joe? I thought Louis would be home by now."

"Joe and Lou won't be back until Sunday. They went to Mississippi to help Joe's brother work on his house. I figured I was gonna stay home and relax."

"Oh, I'm sorry for coming over and intruding. I can leave after cooking if you want—"

"Hush honey, you not going anywhere. I'm glad to have company – it was gettin' too quiet in here. I want you to stay."

"Thanks. I really didn't know where I was going to go when I left my house. I didn't want to go to any friends close by, because she could look and find me. She would tell their parents that I was just being 'emotional', and that I had to go home because we had family plans or something. She would bring me home and then punish me." I started to tear up again.

"It's alright. She don't know where we live, does she. That's why you gonna be ok coming here. Even if she did, I wouldn't let her take you." She squeezed me and patted my head.

Shirley cooked like my grandmother did. She was from way down south of New Orleans, or 'down `na rivah' as the family would say. I helped clean some green beans and wash some potatoes. She showed me how she cut a chicken in quarters.

"My Grandmaw would get a live chicken and cut its head off behind her house and make the best fried chicken. But she quit doing it a few years before she died. My father said it got to be too much work for her."

"Oh, my momma did that too when we was growing up. We lived in the Bywater, by St. Roch. I miss her cooking. Mine won't ever be as good as hers was."

"No way, Miss Shirley! I bet yours is the best! As good as my Grandmaw's!"

"Thanks, baby, you so sweet!" she said in a happy voice. She patted my head again.

I helped her mix the flour to coat the chicken in. She got her black cast iron skillet hot and put a few big scoops of Crisco in it.

"This will make the best fried chicken, you watch."

While the chicken fried, I mashed up the potatoes she had boiling. Another pot had green beans with little chunks of bacon in it. It was so nice to help her. She was sweet and patient, telling me how she did it as she cooked.

Before long, everything was done. It was so good that we hardly said anything while we ate. I ate so much that I thought I was going to pop.

When we were done, I helped clean up. Together we washed the dishes and picked up the food. I hated to wash dishes at home, but not this time. Our dishwasher was broken and my parents wouldn't get it fixed. Since it was just the two of us, we didn't use hers. Shirley hummed and sang a little while we cleaned up. Her voice was velvety and soothing, and sounded heavenly when she sang, like most black ladies did.

"Let's go watch TV, baby. We gots to digest." We sat on the couch and I snuggled up close to her. She put on the station that was showing a rerun of the Flip Wilson Show. It was one of my favorite shows to watch. He was so funny!

"You watch Flip at home, baby?"

"Oh yes. He is one of the funniest people on TV! I especially like Geraldine."

Shirley couldn't help but laugh. "Oh yeah, that Geraldine is one funny sister."

After the show ended, she gave me a curious but funny look. "Honey, you sure you ain't black? You not like most white kids. Why you like black folks so much?"

"Louis asked me that too. I told him that my parents have black friends, and that he's not my only black friend at school. And there's my Grandmaw."

"What you mean about her?"

"If you saw her, you'd think she was part black. She's darker tan than me and has more...black features? She has kind of kinky hair and a black person's nose, but thin lips and a white lady's butt."

"Well you know, this is southern Louisiana, and there was a lot of mixin' back in the day. Probably no families all white or all black these days."

"When I was real little, before we moved to Algiers, we had a nice black lady who took care of us and cleaned our house. We called her Mim, but I never knew her real name. She was nice and sweet to me and my sisters but my mom and her didn't seem to get along very much."

"That was common. Lots of white folks had black housekeepers who took care of their kids."

"I was sad when she left. I've never liked spending any time around my mother. I liked to go see my grandmother instead."

"Well your momma don't sound very nice. Some people just never happy, no matter what."

She pulled me closer while we watched TV. I ended up with my face against one of her boobs. It was big and soft, yet firm. She was probably a 44 D or DD. Bigger than most white women I knew. She didn't seem to mind, as she rocked a little, which rubbed my face against her nipple. It started to get hard and stayed that way for a while.

After about an hour or so watching TV, I started to feel sleepy. I was exhausted from crying and being so upset.

"Come on baby, you tired so you sleeping here with me tonight."

"Can I really? I wanted to ask..."

"Nonsense child, you didn't have to ask. Of course you was gonna sleep here. I'm not gonna let you go anywhere."

She stood up and took my hand. "We gotta to take a bath before we go to bed. We gonna wash your hair, make it all clean and soft. You got pretty white girl hair."

"Miss Shirley, your hair is beautiful. It's smooth but wavy at the same time." I reached out and touched it. It felt silky. She gave me another big smile and patted my head as we went to her bathroom.

"I'm gonna draw the bath. I like it real warm, you ok with it like that?"

"M-miss Shirley, you gonna let me take a bath WITH you?"

"Of course. What you think I meant? Unless you don't want to."

"No! I mean yes, I want to take a bath with you. But I didn't know if I could. And I wasn't sure if I should ask..."

"Well I wasn't gonna let you say no. You been through too much today and don't need to be alone. Now come on, let me take them clothes off you."

She stood me in front of the toilet while she sat on lt. I blushed as she started to undress me. She lifted my shirt off and put it on the counter. Running a hand over my chest and nipples, "Oh, you are a little pretty one. I see why Joe give you those eyes of his."

"Miss Shirley, I'm sorry, please don't be mad at him, or me..."

"I know how Joe is. He likes to look at the pretty ones. I tease him and act jealous, but don't mind. He's a devoted man, and ain't goin anywhere. Plus, I like watchin' him be real smooth with the ladies. He real smooth. But you different. Joe and I ain't never seen a white boy like you. You a girl to us, so pretty and sweet. We like that. Lou sees you like that too."

Moving her hands down, she got to my panties.

"These look nice on you. Pretty light blue, like an Easter egg."

"Baby blue is my favorite color. I have to hide my panties from my mom. I think she looks through my dresser when I'm not around. I have some of my sister's that she doesn't wear anymore also."

Hooking her thumbs in the waist, she slid my panties down, with her hands following down my legs. It gave me shivers when she did this. My little nipples started to get hard. Giving me a head to toe, she smiled, with a nice `um mmm.'

Surprising me, she gave my little dick a short stroke while cupping and rubbing my balls.

"This a nice big clitty you got here. Look, she gettin' firm."

My little dick got hard from her touch. It was thin, and maybe 2 or 2 ½ inches long. My balls felt like M&Ms in my little pouch of a scrotum.

"Miss Shirley, what's a `clitty'?"

"That's a woman's pleasure spot. Like a tiny dick but it don't pee. We have another hole for that. Maybe if you a good girl, I'll show you later." She pinched my ass while fondling my little package.

"Now you look, you gonna see a real woman's body now."

My eyes got wide as she undressed. Tall for a woman, she slowly lifted her house dress up from her legs, all the way over her head. Her skin was dark all over, like a beautiful midnight sky. It was flawless with no blemishes or wrinkles. Wearing a cream colored bra and panties, the contrast with her skin was nice. Her figure was classic. `A brick house' as the popular song said. She had a big chest holding a pair of big, perfectly shaped boobs. They stood up proudly with no sag. The only other ones I had ever seen were much smaller. Her areolas and nipples were big, like grapes sitting on two brown silver dollars.

Her waist was smaller than her top, then flared into nice, wide `child bearing' hips. Her belly wasn't flat but not big either. It had a nice little tummy to it, like a belly dancer. Her cute belly button was deep enough to stick the tip of my finger in. A pair of thick, shapely thighs rounded out her hourglass shape. Behind those hips and thighs was a perfect, big, black lady's bubble ass. One you could have probably set a drink on. A real thing of beauty.

Slowly sliding her hands down the sides of her body, she pulled down her panties to reveal a triangular patch of black pubic hair covering mound and a pair of thick meaty lips. They were the brown color of her nipples. I could see a glimpse of pink as they slightly parted. Like a soft nipple, her clit was partially covered by a brown hood. It looked like it had a lot of room to get big.

Passing her hand through her pubic hair, she gave her pussy a few slow rubs. This gave her face a dreamy look.

"Baby, you not gonna' tell anybody we bein' close like this, huh?"

"O-of course not! I would never."

"Good. Now come get in the tub, we gotta' wash that hair."

We got into the tub. She sat with her back against the end while I sat between her legs, her boobs and nipples rubbing my back. She wrapped her long legs around me. "Don't want you slidin' down."

She used a cup to pour water over my head to get my hair all wet. Squirting a palm full of shampoo, she massaged it into my long hair. At the same time, she used her nails in my scalp and hair like a comb, running her fingers all the way down to the ends. It felt so different from washing my own hair. I would grow my nails out and do it like this from now on. Using the cup again, she rinsed the lather out, then shampooed it again. After the second rinse, she put some conditioner on her hands and ran them through my hair, covering every inch. It stayed in while she washed the rest of me.

Lathering up a loofa sponge with lavender scented soap, she scooted me forward and gently scrubbed my back. Lifting my hair up, she sponged my neck and the backs of my ears. I didn't know my neck and ears were so sensitive. I shivered as she did this. Letting go of my hair, she sponged my shoulders. Lifting my arms, she got my armpits, which were sensitive and ticklish. I giggled and wiggled between her legs. She giggled and did it some more just to tickle me more. Moving down, she finished with my lower back.

"Stand up, baby. Got to wash that cute little ass and legs."

I stood. She slowly sponged my butt cheeks in big circles, running up and down the crease. Gently scrubbing down my legs to my feet, she had me lift each one to get the soles. The loofa felt good on my feet. Wrapping her arms around, she got the front of my legs as well. Sponging back up to my ass, she finished with the loofa.

Lathering up her hand, she began washing the crease of my ass and between my legs. Her soapy fingers rubbed my little hole a couple times, which made my shiver and let out a little `ummm'.

"You like that, baby? Want me rub your little hole some more?" Her voice was velvety.

"Yes, that feels so good. I love touching my little hole. I touch it when I'm rubbing my little dicky."

"Baby, we gonna call that your little clitty from now on, okay? If you gonna be a girl, you gotta have a clit."

I smiled to myself. That sounded womanly and grown up, calling it a clit instead of a dick.

I `ummmd' more as she rubbed the rim of my hole. Just before having me turn around, she surprised me and stuck the tip of her pinky finger inside. I gasped and stood on my toes for a second. When she pulled it out, I let out a sigh. It was an amazing feeling. My little ass was very sensitive, inside and out.

With a sultry voice, she said "Oh baby, you gonna' love gettin' that little ass fucked one day. It's gonna feel so good, I can tell."

Turning me around, she saw that my little dick – no, my clitty, was hard. She gently washed between my legs, fondling my little scrotum, then moving on to my clitty. Lathering her hand with soap again, she began to stroke my clitty in a slow rhythm.

"How's that feel, baby?"

"Ohh...umm...really good..."

"Good. I'm gonna see if I can make you cum."

With that, she moved faster with long strokes. I could feel sensations of energy building inside, getting more intense as she went.

"M-Miss Shirley, I'm going to...explode!"

"Good baby, let it go. Cum for momma."

My orgasm hit and it did feel like I would explode. A hot, almost electrical feeling radiated out from my clitty. I had not hit puberty yet, so could not ejaculate. Past the crescendo, my knees trembled and I nearly feel back. She held me by my ass, feeling me shake with pleasure.

"That's it baby, you came! You had an orgasm. It's the pleasure of life."

I laid back against her for a few minutes, letting my heavy breathing and speeding heart slow down. She stroked my hair while I calmed down. Her nipples were hard, rubbing against my back.

"Now baby, wash my legs for me."

She lifted one of her long legs up over my shoulder. Using the loofa, I scrubbed each of her legs like she did mine. Her skin was soft and smooth, with firm, toned muscles below. Pulling her feet in by bending her knees, I carefully washed each one. I rubbed her soles and heels with the loofa, then used my fingers to get between her toes. Her feet were sensitive too, shivering a little as I cleaned them.

"I'm gonna turn around so you can do my back."

Like she did for me, I used the loofa on her neck, moving all the way down her back. Her skin was silky.

Reaching around, she took my hands and wrapped them around her. Soaping them up, she moved them up to her boobs and said "Now my big tits. Get them nipples good."

I started underneath. They were big, DD cups. Warm and heavy. I rubbed and soaped all over, massaging them with my fingers, saving her nipples for last. I took them in my fingers. They felt like her lips at first, soft but not mushy.

Putting her fingers on mine, she said "This how you play with nipples."

Guiding my fingers, she rolled, pinched and pulled each one. They started to get firm, until they were as hard as my clitty got. After a couple of minutes, she moved one of her hands down under the water, between her legs. I kept on fondling her nipples. As she rubbed herself down there, I could feel all her muscles tense and relax in a rhythm, which quickened as she rubbed. Her breathing was faster, and I could feel her heartbeat through her back. She was close.

With a loud "Ohhh...uhmm...aahh...aaahhhhh! she climaxed. All her muscles tensed then released at the same time.

"Oh baby, you helped momma cum!"

She leaned her head back, resting it on my shoulder. Turing around, she looked at my with those beautiful amber eyes, and gave me kind of long kiss on my lips. Hers were big and full, firm but soft. They covered mine completely. I closed my eyes and sighed. Her lips were so warm.

"Now baby, lets out and dry. A good cum was just what I needed before goin' to bed."

Drying me off first, she then dried herself. I sat on the toilet and watched with rapt attention. Eyes closed, she went from her head down to her cleavage, then under each boob. She gave her nipples a rub before moving on. Using the tip of a finger, she poked the towel in her belly button. She then bent over and stretched out each leg to dry them.

Her pussy was eye level when she stood back up. Hanging the towel up, she came closer.

"You wanna see my pussy, don't you."

I gulped and let out a quiet "Y-yes."

Moving even closer, her pubic hair was inches from my face. Bending her knees to spread her legs a bit, she reached down and parted her lips. The succulent purplish pink of her inner lips and vagina were exposed. Pulling her fingers up, the hood of her clit moved and revealed it. The size of a grape, it was the color of her inner lips and stood up hard like her nipples. She was so close that I could see it pulse with her heartbeat. I could smell it too, a wonderful deep, rich musk, with a hint of fruit. Circling her clit, her lips and inside began to get wet.

"You wanna taste, baby?"

Getting two fingers wet from her moist pussy, she reached up and put them in my mouth. It tasted just like it smelled, deep and complex. Delicious.

"Now you gonna kiss it. Lick my lips, use your tongue."

Pulling my head into her, my lips touched hers. The tip of my nose was poking her clit. She began to grind her hips. Opening my lips, I began to kiss and suck her lips. I stuck my tongue in and out of her channel. Rubbing my head, she `ummmd' and purred as I licked her.

"Now my clit."

I moved my chin up and found her clit with my tongue. Licking it like her nipples, her hips rocked back and forth as she `mmmd'. It grew bigger, almost big enough for me to suck on.

She pulled my head in hard against her pussy. "Suck it, suck it. Ohhh, I'm gonna cum again!"

Her muscled pulsed as she let out a high `Aaayyyyuhhhnnn!!!' As she came, a squirt of hot liquid sprayed into my mouth. It was so sudden that I swallowed before thinking. It tasted like something familiar.

"Oh baby, you made me squirt. You can spit it out."

"I...swallowed it."

"You swallowed? You got a good taste of my pee."

"Pee?? But it didn't taste bad. I...kinda liked it."

"Umm, that so? You gonna be a kinky one when you grown." she said with a big smile.

I didn't know what that meant, but it sounded like something good to look forward to.

She got up, wiping her juices off my face. She went into the bedroom. I got my bag and took out my toothbrush. Finished, I saw her putting on a silky pearl chemise. It fit her curved perfectly, cling to her curves. I took my sleep clothes out of my bag – my sister's pink tank top and panties.

With the covers pulled back, she laid down and waved me in. She faced me, putting an arm over my shoulder. Snuggling up to her, I was so short that I pretty much fit between her neck and knees. I felt warm and cozy. More importantly, I felt secure for the first time in a very long time. I let out a big sigh and closed my eyes. I knew I would be asleep soon.

Cradling my head, she pulled me down a little and gently pushed a nipple in my mouth.

"You nurse on me till you asleep." So I suckled her nipple until I faded out.

Rubbing my head as I nursed on her, she fell asleep shortly after I did, with a serene smile of pleasure on her face.

I woke up to a strange but extremely pleasurable sensation. I opened my eyes and saw that Shirley had moved and was sucking my clitty. I felt myself rapidly getting close to an orgasm

M-miss Shirley...I'm gonna...explode again!" She made a deep `mmmmm', the low vibrations resonating through me. I felt that familiar explosion inside and came. As I laid there feeling spent, she sucked my clitty a little more till it went soft. She turned her head and gave me a sweet face.

"Mmm mmm, I love sucking dick. Clits and pussys too. You taste sweet, like you are."

"Miss Shirley, you like girls too?"

"Oh yeah, baby. I like suckin' some nice titties and a sweet pussy. Like getting my pussy and ass eaten too."

"That sounds fun. Do you have a...girlfriend?"

"I got a few chicks I mess with. And I know one or two who would love to get their hands on your sweet little ass. Maybe one day."

I got up to pee, then went back to bed. I hugged Shirley tight and fell into a deep sleep.

Waking up to see the sun shining through the curtains, I was confused for a moment, not recognizing where I was. Then I realized I was in Shirley's bed. But she wasn't there. Then I smelled food. I followed my nose to the kitchen.

"Good morning baby, come give me a hug." I gave her a big waist hug, burying my face in her bosom.

"You like them titty hugs, don't you baby?"

I smiled and shook my head yes.

"I been cooking while you got your beauty rest. You sleep good?"

"Yes. It was the best sleep I've had in a long time. No bad dreams, only really good ones."

"Aww, I'm so glad. You looked real peaceful sleepin', so I didn't wake you up."

"But I could have helped you cook. I like helping you in the kitchen."

"It's okay baby, we'll do it again some time. Now you ready to eat? We got bacon, eggs and biscuits. Got some juice too."

We ate, and I helped clean up after. Sitting at the table, I got a little quiet, with an uncertain look on my face. She was pretty sure about what was wrong. But she wanted me to tell her.

"Baby, what's wrong? You not lookin' happy all of a sudden."

"Um...Miss Shirley, what do I do now? I need to go home but I'm afraid to. My mom's gonna be so mad because I didn't go home last night. I-I don't want her to see me, she'll punish me. Probably try to hit me with her paddle too. I don't want her to touch me." I started tearing up talking about this.

Reaching across the table, she took my hands. "Don't be afraid of her. You strong, Paulina, you just gotta find it inside you when you need it. She's your momma but you know she ain't supposed to treat you like that. You can do it, you gonna be ok."

"I don't know why she's so mean. It seems like she's never happy. She hates my sister and is mean to her too. She fights with my dad all the time. I don't know why but he still tries to be nice to her."

"Sounds like your momma's got some problems from way back, making her so mean. Might not really be her fault, she just don't know what to do besides be mean."

"I-I never thought about that. But she probably won't change. She's still mean."

"I know baby, but you gotta find a way to live with her. It's gonna be hard but you got to."

"Okay, I'll try to not be afraid. I guess I should go."

I got my stuff together and was nervous, but knew I had to go home at some point.

Shirley wrapped a biscuit up for me and put it in my bag. She pulled me in for a big bosom hug. I held her waist tight, and with teary eyes, said "I don't want to go. You're so sweet to me. I feel...good here with y'all."

"Baby, you know you can come over whenever you need to. Me and Joe and Lou will make you feel better."

"Louis is so lucky to have a good mother like you. You're all so nice to me, Miss Shirley."

She was quiet for a few moments and just hugged me. "Alright baby, you should probably get on home. You remember what we talked about, okay? Try your best to be strong."

I gave her one more hug before leaving. As I began my ride home, I was nervous but trying to be calm and brave at the same time. We would just have to see what would happen when I got there.

I rode home and got there at about 10:00. My parents were not awake yet, since it was Sunday. The kitchen and living room were a mess. It looked like they had a lot of people over and partied through the night. Two of their friends were asleep on the couch, and Dawn and Shawn were in their room. I changed into boy clothes and hid the clothes I wore the night before. If my mother or anyone asked, I was going to tell them that I came home late, and that no one noticed me come in.

I put some clothes to wash. When I was coming out of the laundry room, my dad was up, making coffee in the kitchen.

"Hey, I saw you leave yesterday when Marie was yelling at you. Did you come home last night?" he asked.

"Um, yeah. It was late, and y'all were partying, so no one noticed. Why? Was she looking for me?"

"For a little bit. She was really pissed that she didn't catch you and make you change clothes."

"Well, that's too bad for her. I'm gonna wear what I want. I don't have to do what she says."

"You do. She's your mother."

"Then when is she gonna act like one and not be so terrible? She don't like the way I am because I'm not what she wanted me to be. I'm not bad! And she hates my sisters and made them leave. What'd Beth ever do to her? She tells me that they don't like me, but I know that's not true! You're not like that. No other adults I know are like that. Why is she so mean? She's mean to you, too. If she don't stop being mean, I'm gonna run away one day and never come back!" I was getting upset and teary eyed.

"Hey, don't say that. Running away never turns out good for anyone. She does love you and would be sad and upset if you left."

"No she doesn't! She don't love anybody! I'll go find a mom who does, and who's not mean to me."

"You can't leave. You're not old enough. We don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to be around her. She's...s-she's an evil woman!" I started crying.

He pulled me into a hug. "She's not evil, she just has a lot of hurt inside. But she won't tell anyone what it is, so we don't know how to help her. It makes me sad, too. I know she has a lot of good inside, but it just doesn't come out often."

"I don't believe you! She's creepy sometimes. I don't want her to touch me! She's always trying to hug or kiss me. She comes in my room and talks for a long time and won't leave me alone. And I know she tries to look in my stuff when I'm not home. That's not fair! I don't want her to come in there. I'm gonna do like Beth did and stay in with my door locked when she's home."

"Come on, don't do that. She just wants to show that she loves you. It makes her feel better. You don't want to turn into a hermit like Beth, do you?"

"She wasn't a hermit – she was afraid of mom! I know she hit her sometimes, when nobody was around. I think she...did more to her. But Beth don't talk to nobody, and ain't gonna say anything."

He got a look of concern. "Did you see her do anything to her?"

"I saw her slap her a few times, but I think I heard her do more and hurt her. Mom would go in her room and lock the door. I could hear them fighting and moving around. She'd leave, still looking mad. Beth shut the door and cried for hours. I know she didn't do anything wrong. She never did anything wrong."

"Well, I'm gonna talk to her and find out what happened."

"DON'T! She'll know I told you I heard them. Then she'll try to punish me and be mean to Beth the next time she's here!"

"Alright...I won't say anything for now. But next time she goes in your room and won't leave you alone, tell me ok?"

"Okay."

"Next time you leave and don't come back for a while, can you let me know where you're going?"

"No. I don't want her knowing. If I tell you, and she finds out later, then she'll be mad at you for not telling her."

"I'd rather you tell me and let me deal with her. I don't like the idea of you disappearing for a night and not knowing where you went. What if something happened?"

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna be by myself. I'll be with friends and people I know."

"Do we know any of these people?"

"No."

"Not gonna tell me who they are, huh?"

"No, I don't want to. They're kids I go to school with, so nobody I'm not supposed to hang around."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna finish my clothes. She'll get up soon and I don't want to be here. I'll go find my friends or do something."

"You're not tired from being up so late? We were all loud last night. It must have been hard to sleep."

"No, I slept so good last night. I didn't have bad dreams or worry about anything."

"Oh..."

Still upset, I went to my room and put some clean clothes in my bag, so I could change if I wanted to. I took my school stuff along as well, just in case I didn't want to sleep at home again. I could hear my mother get up, so I got my bike and left.