This is how it happened. This story is true - no artistic license has been used - and it hasn't been embellished. It's just the story of Paul and Nick and me.
This story will - eventually cover some very explicit sexual themes - I'm not going to say what they are at this point - I don't want to give the story away. Suffice to say that if you are offended by sex of an explicit nature - please don't read on.
This story also contains descriptions of under age sex. Sue me. This is the story of my life - if you don't like that I was sexually active underage - don't read on.
Beginning
I was 14 - I knew I was gay. I'd known it for a couple of years - ever since puberty had started to change my body. But.I was 14 and scared of being different from the other boys in my school. I'd never told anybody - and hiding 'the big secret' was beginning to tear me up inside.
I guess I knew I was going to tell Jason that I was gay from the moment we left school that day. We always walked home as far as my house together. Me loping along in my gangly six-foot gait, him pushing his bike along beside me. I'd fancied Jason as long as I could remember really; before I'd even realised that I was gay. What wasn't there to like. He was short, muscled and cute. Jason was a gymnast, a real athlete, clever and funny with it. Jason was the subject of just about every wank fantasy I had.
So I guess I thought that telling him might open a door. In my head, as I rehearsed how it was going to happen, us walking through the woods together, me telling him and him turning to me and saying that he had those feelings too. So imagine it came as a bit of a shock to me - when the words "I'm gay" finally came out of my mouth, when he said nothing for about 30 seconds - got on his bike and rode off as fast as he could.
When I got to the gate he was waiting for me. His face was serious but he gave me a little smile and said "It's OK by me". We talked for ages. My illusions were shattered - he said he had no thoughts about boys - in fact quite the opposite. But the good news was that I'd kept a friend - shared the secret and all in all I felt great about the whole situation. We left each other - near my house as usual - as he got on his bike to finish his journey home. As he made to leave - he promised that he wouldn't tell anyone my 'big secret'. I went home happy - and wanked furiously four or five times before I went to bed.
The next day it seemed the entire school knew my secret. Jason had told them
I learned a valuable lesson about trust that day. Jason plays no further part in the story of how it happened - I guess that's pretty much how it was. I didn't fight with him, shout at him or bad mouth him - I just let him drift from my life. If I met him today - I'd give him the biggest hug. He made me what I am today.
Paul
The days after the secret came out, I hated going to school. I kept myself to myself - avoided other people at break and lunchtimes - avoided physical education lessons and pretty much tried to ignore the fact that people were talking about me behind my back - and more often than not within my earshot.
The evenings were the worst to be honest. I'd go home, Mum and Dad could sense something was wrong with me - and over compensated. I just wanted to be left alone - but they didn't seem to be able to get the message. So I'd shut myself in my room, play music (loud) and cry - a lot. One evening I guess it was about four days after I'd told Jason, Mum called up and told me that there was someone at the door for me. This was surprising in itself. I guess I was a pretty solitary child - not a complete loner - but happy with my own company, and equally happy to choose my friends carefully. I guess I'd figured that it would be Jason at the door - come to apologise.
When I got to the bottom of the stairs it wasn't Jason that was waiting for me, but Paul. Paul I knew vaguely from school. He wasn't in any of the same classes as me, but was someone I guess on the periphery of the people I usually chose to hang round with at break and lunch times.
Paul was the same age as me - shorter - but then most people were. He had brown hair and green eyes, a naturally dark skin which was unusual in rural England and made him seem kind of exotic somehow. Paul was a real 'boys boy' - had the best taste in clothes, the latest music and computer games - went on foreign holidays - he seemed to live the life I'd always wanted. And he was at my door - for the first time.
"Hey" was the simple introduction. A thousand questions must have gone through my mind; why was he here? How did he know where I lived? Had he heard about me being gay? Was this a set up? The list went on..
So gathering myself I said "hey" back.
"Do you wanna come out"
I hadn't learned this particular double entendre - so his question seemed (and was) perfectly innocent.
"Yeah I guess so" I replied. "Anyone with you?" I asked, still cautious that I was being set up.
"Nah - just me. I just wanted too..come say hi that's all".
The whole situation seemed strange to me. Paul and I had hardly said two words to each other during the three years that we'd been in the same school. Now he was on my doorstep. My mind was full of questions - but I guess I'd always been smart beyond my years and I knew that the only way I'd get the answers was to go with the flow.
It was a late summer evening. Not too warm - and pretty much no one around as we walked around. We weren't really wandering aimlessly - I could tell that much. We were heading in the direction of his house - which I knew was on the other side of the village from me.
I don't remember much of what was said during that conversation. I guess we talked about school, music, cars - mutual interests we had at the time. The conversation drifted as we walked along. Until..
"Is it true that you're gay?"
My mind raced. I had a choice at this point. No one - from the time the secret had been let loose had actually bothered to ask me that question. This was the point where I could put the genie back in the box - I could deny everything - and my 14 year old life would go back to normal.
"Yeah I guess so" was my reply. I'd come this far - I wasn't going to back out now.
Paul said nothing for a while and said "I'm not - I like girls too much... But I've kinda wondered about it - you know what I mean?"
I guess I did know what he meant. "Yeah" I replied.
"What's it like - you know sex with another boy" he asked - face reddening - as was mine.
"I dunno - I've never done it" was the honest answer from me.
"But you want to?"
"Yeah"
By this time we were standing on the corner of what I guessed (correctly) was his road. Paul looked kind of uncomfortable - like he wanted to say something but couldn't quite manage to get it out. I didn't know what to say - how to react, so I waited him out. Eventually he turned to me and said "Meet me here tomorrow at this time - the house will be empty."
With that he turned and left. I was too surprised to speak - but I was also rock hard. I left wondering whether he'd been hard too.