Patches

HOLA PEEPS!! Once more THANK YOU for all your feedback and support!! It means the world. Wanna chat? E-mail me! liciousryan@gmail.com

Stay safe, Ryan

** PREVIOUS CHAPTER **

"Josh, I'm Agent Ryan Xavier. Murder and robbery. Please, I BEG you, give me a chance to explain ..."

CHAPTER SIX

"I knew something was up with this Tarzan wannabe...Josh, get away from him right now, he's poison!" Tommy threw in his two cents.

Patches turned towards me and took solid hold of my hands. It literally shook inside his big paws.

"Josh, all I ask, is a chance to explain myself. I know this looks bad, really bad but..."

"Why don't you do everyone a massive favour and just piss the hell off! We don't need you here..."

Ignoring Tommy for the second time, with absolutely no emotion on his handsome face, Patches continued to stare into my eyes.

"Please, Josh. I'm still me. I'm still Patches..."

"Like hell, you are! You come in here and pretend to be a homeless bum and all the time you're an undercover agent? How more piss poor can you get?"

And then, finally, Patches, aka Ryan Xavier, had enough.

With a vicious roar, Tommy was pushed against the wall of my living-room, Patches's face almost wanting to rip Tommy apart.

"One more word. One more word, you little ponce! Shut...the fuck...up!"

Patches released Tommy, the latter dropping down solemnly onto the floor, his limbs flapping everywhere because the sheer fear that Patches had installed inside that threat.

"See that? That's police brutality, that is! Wait until I call my lawyer..."

"Call the fucking Queen, I don't care! If you don't get outta here right now and lemme speak to Josh, I'm gonna show you what REAL police brutally looks like!"

Patches's biceps ripped and bulged with anger. His face was red. His eyes were digging daggers into Tommy. His fists were balled and ready to attack. His powerful chest was heaving up and down, his blond hair inside a long ponytail, with a few strands having come loose from the attack on Tommy.

For the first time in a fair few minutes, I decided to open my own mouth.

"Tommy, it's okay. You can go. I'll be okay."

Tommy looked like he had been told his favourite puppy had just died. He glanced over towards Patches, and then back to me in sheer disbelief.

"Really now? You're picking ...this over me? We finally have a chance to be together, now that Jen is dead...and you're...licking him?"

"Tommy, I ain't picking anyone. I just want to hear what he has to say. Patches, or Ryan ...or whatever he's called. I think he owes me that."

Patches crossed his arms and glanced a knowing look over towards Tommy. The latter knew now he had no choice but to leave.

"I'll be back. I ain't losing the love of my life again. I did once. It broke me. I'm not losing you...to Samson over here..."

Tommy shot Patches a final glare, before turning around and leaving, quite hastily at that. Within seconds you could hear the exhausts of his spanking new BMW moan under the effort to get it started, as the expensive car sped off into the distance.

"Thanks. I just..." Patches started to say but I was ready for him.

"Inside the kitchen. I wanna know why you decided to USE me, to get what you wanted. Start talking, Ryan. Now. "

**

"Josh, listen to me. I know you're angry and confused, and that little cunt didn't help things along either."

"Language."

"Damn...sorry. Okay, here goes. I was given the job of finding out what exactly is going on in the village. Not only here, but also in the surroundings areas where drugs, especially crystal meth, had been easy to come by since it has been home made."

I was hearing the words. But it was like it didn't register inside my brain.

"We got a tip off that the drug mule was operating out of the community hall. That is why I came up with the idea to portray myself as a homeless man. I slept rough for a few nights to get into character and didn't have a shower or a bath on purpose, for over a week. I had to be believable."

Tears formed inside my eyes. I didn't wanna hear this...bit I knew that for my own personal sanity, it was imperative that I did ...at this moment Patches was a mere stranger. Everything I had thought had known...and loved about him was now in question.

"That first day we met...you were so kind to me. You and Thomas. But then your wife came inside and made that scene...I immediately recognised her as one of the suspects we had on file, who we believed was dealing in crystal meth. I had a vibe from you right from the start...yes, Josh. I might be an undercover agent but I'm still gay. That hasn't changed. Your attraction towards me, gave me an idea. One I had to use to gain your trust and to have access to your home."

They say the truth hurts. At that moment and time it sure as hell did, as two solid tears escaped from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I didn't even bother to wipe them away.

"Once we had a lead in where you wife was going when she disappeared from the house at nights, we had to make sure that you, as her husband, was not in on the drug deals and wasn't supplying yourself. You had means, you're a vicar, no one would ever suspect you. You had the place of operation, the soup kitchen and the community hall. You had motive...you were financially struggling. And then came the cherry on the cake...the possible move to Chelsea. We thought you and Jen were planning your getaway."

For a moment everything was quiet. It was deathly silent. Only Thomas could be heard inside the bathroom as he always made a noise when brushing his teeth. Something about how toothpaste made your mouth taste funny.

I stood up and switched on the kettle. Patches just stood where had had been all the time, and made no move to come closer.

"Josh...say something..."

I picked out Thomas's porridge from the cupboard and proceeded to take him his favourite breakfast...oatmeal with lots of raisins aswell as fresh orange juice.

"Josh..."

I quietly continued to slice the oranges open and squeeze the juice out of them into a pulp for my son.

"Fine. Scream at me. Shout at me. Hit me! Anything you want, but please, not this silent treatment!"

I felt a sharp pain inside my palm. I had sliced myself open with the sharp knife.

Patches must have seen the dark red blood seeping out from my hand as he quickly came closer and gently took the knife out of my hands. Placing on a plastic glove on his right hand, he carefully placed my injured hand palm inside his own, as he checked out the damage.

"Shit man, you're in luck. The cut ain't that deep. Thomas!"

"Yes, Uncle Patches?" came the answer.

"Buddy, please bring your dad a plaster and some ointment! He had a little accident!"

"Okay!"

Patches leaned over and kissed my cheek. His lips lingered on my skin for a little longer than what was necessary.

"It's gonna be okay. You'll see."

**

I asked the Sister Union to take Thomas to school. I was in no fit state to make sure he got there on time.

Ryan...Patches...placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of me. The smell was intoxicating. It reeked of masculinity. Just like he did.

"So..."

His face lit up as words finally left my mouth...

"...was any of this real?"

"What do you mean?"

"Firstly...what do I call you? Patches, or Ryan?"

Patches took a sip of his own coffee, and his eyes softened remarkably.

"Patches is fine. I actually prefer that."

I nodded and swallowed, hard. This was...insane. Jen was dead. Overdosed on crystal meth when I had no idea she was even using the stuff. Above and beyond that shock, I had to face facts and know, that for months, the man I had fallen in love with, was a phony. A fake. Nothing about this was real. I had to accept that.

It broke my heart.

"This...us...was any of it real? You don't need to lie to me anymore, Patches. You're cover is blown. I know you're not homeless. You're a hotshot undercover agent and a good one at that, fooling so many people like you did. How much was real...be honest. Was it all just acting to get to Jen?"

Patches sighed and placed his coffee back onto the coaster. He sat forward and wanted to touch me, but silly me...sorry babe...I wasn't ready for that. Not by a long shot.

"Here goes. The truth. At first, no. I saw the attraction from your side and knew I had to exploit it. That's the truth. The night I knocked at your door, claiming I had gotten lost in the rain...false. I waited until I was sure your son was asleep before staging the hypothermia. I had to gain and earn your trust. Remember Josh, I didn't know you from Adam. I wasn't sure you and Jen weren't both dealing and using drugs."

"I'm a god damn Vicar..." I whispered.

"In my line of work, we have to suspect everyone we meet. Even if they seem like the most innocent person on this earth. Anyhow, I sensed that things between you and Jen weren't all that well. As we gotten to know each other, I realised you had nothing to do with the drug smuggling and usage. It was all Jen. She was dealing and using and supplying, without you knowing a thing. It was then, I made my move."

I shivered. Patches reached over and took hold of my hand. I didn't stop him.

"That night you kissed me in the snow, I knew I had you. I knew that you weren't just another bloke who I had to trick into believing I was homeless. My heart told me another story. I have no reason to lie anymore, you already know everything. Josh, as God is my witness, I fell in love with you. You are the most kindest, more gentle, most loving person I had ever met. You care for your son, like a father should. I didn't lie when I said I never knew my parents or my real name. Ryan Xavier was the name given to me in the orphanage. I'll probably never know who I truly am."

Slowly, but surely, my own hand travelled from where it was situated on my knees, to where Patches's was. I softly placed my hand on top of his, gently caressing his knuckles.

"Why didn't you just ...tell me?" I said, hoarsely, my voice breaking with sheer emotion.

"I couldn't, Josh. The chances that you might let something slip towards Jen...I couldn't take that risk. I'm really sorry for her death, no one deserves that kind of punishment. But I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to get you and little Thomas some answers. I'm making it my personal urgency."

Patches stood up as his mobile phone rang...didn't even know he owned one.

"Xavier. Okay...wait for me at the station. I'll be there in an hour or so. Affirmative."

"Wow...if I was hoping this was all some bad dream, that just shattered it," I said, trying to make some light of the situation.

"Yeah. Gotta go. Needed at the station. Bunch of red tape now with Jen's death. Are...are you and Thomas gonna be okay here on your own?"

I stood up myself. It felt good to stretch my legs and arms for a bit.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, we have coped without Jen for weeks now. She was here in body, but definitely not in spirit anymore."

Patches came closer and pulled me into a solid hug. As my arms encircled his shoulders, I caressed his hair, as I always did. He smelled so good. Total opposite from when I had first met him. He buried his face inside my neck, and softly kissed the skin.

"See ya later..." he whispered as he held me rightly.

"Yeah, later..." I replied.

With one final squeeze of my back, he released me and without looking back, he walked out of the house in big, solid strides.

That...is who he truly was.

Ryan Xavier.

The Patches I knew and loved was in there somewhere...

...so how come it felt like he was gone, forever?

**

Later that afternoon, I was waiting for Tommy to come and pick me up, as the doctor in town, had phoned me, claiming that the results of the DNA tests was back and that he wanted to have a chat with both myself and with Tommy.

Weird...wouldn't they just have had informed the true father of the news? Why see us both?

It was cold...freezing actually. As we moved into January, I knew that the cold weather was in no way gonna be over soon. Still, I was grateful that we had such a good rainy season.

Thomas still didn't know anything about all of this. That his mother was dead, that I possibly wasn't his biological dad, and that his beloved Uncle Parches wasn't a homeless man by any means. He had overheard Tommy say he was his dad, but he hadn't mentioned anything about it since. Kids has this tendency to block things out that hurt or upset them...which is the only thing I could think if.

As Tommy's BMW caught the attention of the village folk one more time, I made sure to get into the blasted car as quick as I could, and told Tommy to drive on and to hit the gas.

We were halfway there when he suddenly drove slower, to get through some mud that was caked into the tarred roads.

"I stand by what I had said. I don't wanna take Thomas off you if he is mine. I meant that."

"I know you meant it. I can't thank you enough. But let's wait and hear the results first and then we can make arrangements."

"So what are you gonna do about Samson...I mean...Agent Xavier? Or Patches, as you all him?"

I looked outside of the window as we got ever closer into town and therefore, also the doctors consultation rooms. Every inch a little closer to perhaps ...finding out that Thomas wasn't my son. I felt physically ill.

"I dunno. We kinda sorted stuff out this morning. He said that although he did lie in order to get access to my house and Jen, that his feelings for me was genuine."

"God ...and you believe him? A gay undercover agent! Really now, Josh?"

"Can you just stop? Thomas is ALL I'm thinking of right now!"

Tommy drove slower as we edged through the muddy terrain. It had started to pour down in buckets a few minutes back, making everything even worse to get through.

"I just ...I always thought that someday, somehow, me and you could ...you know...pick up the pieces. The way we were forced to break up was so unfair. So wrong. We loved each other. We had a future planned. I think about it every day...what would have happened if Jen didn't ring that doorbell ten years ago."

"Tommy, you realize if that didn't happen, then I wouldn't have Thomas in my life?"

Tommy blushed. Immediately regretting his choice of words.

"Anyway you're married. You're a school teacher. Being gay, isn't gonna help one of those cases, now is it?'

Tommy turned left for a final time, and he pulled into the parking lot of the doctors offices. As he turned off the engine, both of us sat in sheer silence.

"Whatever happens, we're not gonna fall out. Please, Josh. Promise me. "

Each time I saw him he reminded me more and more of the fifteen year old Tommy that I knew and loved all those years ago.

Before Jen told me about her pregnancy and my father, the Vicar at the time, forced me to marry her. At this moment, I felt as close to my high school lover than I did in a long time.

"Deal. I suppose this is it, then."

"Yeah, babe. Here we go. Let's do this."

"Tommy..."

"That's my name...?"

"Don't call me babe."

**

"I'm glad both of you are here. I have read the results of both tests you did in connection to the paternity of young Thomas Joshua Adams. Firstly, do I need to discuss said results with you individually?"

I looked over to Tommy who was seated next to me. As his eyes caught mine, we both smiled at each other and shook our heads.

"No Doctor. We actually prefer to know what the truth is. Together," Tommy spoke on behalf of both of us. I suddenly felt a hand encircle mine...Tommy's eyes was now fully concentrated on the two envelopes on the doctor's desk.

It mean the world to me, at that moment, that he was in there with me.

The doctor sighed and typed in something on his laptop.

"Vicar Adams...Mister Greyson...this is very difficult for me. I have never had to say this to two people who was adamant that one was them was the father of a young child.

"What do you mean?" Tommy demanded, frowning as he did so.

"There is a good reason I called both of you in today. I'm afraid that...NEITHER of you is the biological father of young Thomas."

**

"Say...say that again...slowly..." I choked out eventually as I regained my speech.

"Vicar, I'm terribly sorry. But whilst Mister Greyson bares no relation to Thomas whatsoever, you on the other hand, only has 44% of his DNA inside you. Which cannot make you the father, but you are, still, in some form, related to the boy."

Light flashes went off inside my head. Alarmingly ag that.

"This...is unreal...insane!" Tommy whispered.

"So Josh is related to Thomas, but he's not his father? Are you sure you did the test correctly?"

"Quite, Mister Greyson," he doctor replied, however there was just a hint of irritation.

I stood up and paced a few times up and down inside the consultation room. Slowly but surely...the terrible truth at what the doctor was saying, was starting to seep through.

"Doctor...are you saying what I think you're saying?"

There was a slight nod in agreement from the older practitioner.

"Vicar Adams, I think you need to have word with your father. Is he still alive?"

**

"He's in a nursing home...he had a stroke a few years back and that's why I had to take over the Parrish from him ...my God..."

Tommy stood up and asked the one question that everybody seemed to know, but nobody had wanted to say out loud...

"Are you...are you saying Josh's dad...is Thomas's father?"

The doctor picked up his pen and twirled it around his finger. A sad smile reached his eyes. This had to be hard on him as well, seeing how upset I was.

"In all probability, yes. How else do you explain that Vicar Adams has a 44% relation to Thomas? If he was the father, it would have been 99.9% or at least in the range of 90%."

With Thomas on my mind, and the shock, utter nauseating realization that the little boy, who I watched grow up, nurtured and cared for, was actually my half brother...God in heaven, help me...

I turned towards Tommy.

"Take me to Oak Pine Nursing home. Now. "

**

"Oi oi savaloy! There he is! My son, my boy! Haven't seen you in quite a while. How's Jen and Thomas doing?" my father, Patrick Adams, asked me in his usual jolly way he always did.

I sat down opposite my father and looked him straight in the eye. At least, he must have sensed that I wasn't there to socialize over cake and tea.

"What's wrong, Joshie?" he asked, his eyes full of worry and curiosity.

"Dad, I'm gonna ask you one question. And I want you to be honest with me."

"I always am, Joshie. I've never lied to you," my father replied.

I closed my eyes. My God, dad...you just did. I pray I'm wrong about this.

"Did you sleep with Jen, the night of my fifteenth birthday party?"

Those curious eyes suddenly turned a dark, bloody and very much fiery red. Shock, humiliation, and guilt was written all over his features.

"Joshie..."

"...don't lie to me, Dad! I had DNA tests done. I am 44% related to Thomas. That means I cannot be the father, but I share his DNA. That means you are. Has to be. You don't have brothers, neither do I. Grandad died years ago. That leaves only you, because it can't be me."

Patrick Adams slumped in his wheelchair, his eyes now jiggling with unshed years.

Oh my God...it was true...Thomas was my half brother...God please, no..."

"Dad, what happened that night? Remember how I told you I don't remember sleeping with Jen? Over the years I have forced myself to somehow remember, but I always blamed the alcohol that I sneaked in. You, you made me feel guilty as hell because of the so called humiliation I brought over you, Mom and the Parrish! And all the while, it was YOU! For God's sake, Dad! What happened?"

My father took a sip of his water, along with one of his pills that I knew was specifically for his high blood pressure. He swallowed slowly, coughing a little, before placing his hand carefully on my knee.

"I came home. I saw the party going on. I saw you kids drinking beer. Everything was crazy. Your mom and I had a huge row. She stayed behind with Grandma, refusing to come home with me."

The sound of his voice and the entire way of his speaking gave me a sheer ripple of dejavu. It felt like listening to Patches's confession all over again.

"A girl entered my study. I was reading the Bible. She was drunk. Throwing herself at me. Said she was too afraid to go home, because her dad had been hitting her mom again. Before I knew it...she was in my arms. Hurt and agony over your mom, and what she had said to me drove me out of control. Even now, I can't remember much. All I know is...I woke up naked next to the girl. She was naked as well. I knew, I did an unspeakable deed. Eventually she left and me and Mom solved our differences. It was like it never had happened..."

Everything fell in place. Now it all made sense.

"And that's why you were so adamant that I marry her. You knew the child Jen was carrying was yours, didn't you?"

A sad smile came over my father's face, as more tears rolled down his stroke ridden cheeks.

"I thought...at least in some way...the child would be with family ..." he croaked out, finally giving in to his emotions.

As much as I wanted to comfort my elderly father, in that moment, I couldn't. I had lost every ounce of respect I ever had for the man.

In future, I would find myself praying to God to help me find it in my heart to forgive him...but right then...it wasn't the time.

Not yet.

**

"Come here ..."

I walked into Tommy's arms faster than you could say "Patches".

Everything just got way too much for me to handle. I mean, Jen's death was bad enough, then throw Patches in actually being an undercover agent called Ryan Xavier and the fact that Thomas was actually my half brother, rather than my son on top of that, and you have enough material for a psych ward.

I felt Tommy's strong arms engulf me. Not as strong, not as muscled...not as welcoming as Patches by a country mile ...still, it felt good to be held, at least for a little while.

A kiss on the side of my head, another one on my forehead...escalating to yet another on my cheek...a solemn one planted softly on my brow...followed by another on my closed eye lid...his lips touched the tip of my nose...his hands were caressing the back of my neck and the hairs which were by now standing at gun point...

It was the kiss that was coming toward my mouth that I had a problem with...

"No...Tommy...no..."

The latter seemed like had just been drenched with icy cold water.

"But...we love each other...Jen was never pregnant with your son...we could have been together ...so much time lost...Josh, don't you understand? I've (kiss) never stopped (kiss) loving you. Not for a second! This is our chance! To repair what your father damaged! Give us a chance...I know you still have feelings for me!"

I opened my eyes at Tommy's speech. He was begging me. Holding me. Kissing me...just as we had done several times ten years ago.

Before Jen rang that doorbell...

"No, Tommy. I can't promise you an ocean when in reality, I can only give you a cup of water. I'll always love you ...it's just...now..."

"...lemme guess. You love Samson more."

I was a Vicar.

I couldn't tell a lie.

"Goodbye, Josh. I hope he makes you happy. Because when this murder case is over, and he leaves town, you'll be crawling back to me. And I can't promise I'll be available. I have a wife...who actually loves me. And puts me first. What do YOU have now? Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Well, what do you know.

Posh Tommy with the cushy job, the flashy car and the beautiful wife was back in full swing.

The glimpses I had seen from the old Tommy had suddenly and inexplicably vanished into thin air...

I looked my former high school boyfriend straight in the eye.

"Know what...if I took you back...within the first argument we would have had, you would have turned into ...this! You have moved on, Tommy. London changed you. For good. I could never fit in your world, and you have rejected mine, years ago. It's better if you go. It was good seeing you, it truly was."

Tommy's handsome face was suddenly more sour and more angry, more evil, was the word...than I had ever seen him.

He stepped forward, menacingly.

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer regarding the expensive payment it cost for the DNA tests. Add the extra's for speeding it up. Add the time I had to miss work. You're done, Vicar."

A nasty laugh was heard, I was so damn shocked at this sudden change, I couldn't move to save my life!

Was he always like this, and I just didn't see it? Especially these last few days?

Was I just a solid idiot? A right prat who enjoyed living in the past too much?

"By the way... enjoy telling your brat he's actually your brother. Fucked up family..."

The door slammed shut behind Tommy as he furiously ran towards his car and pulled away eventually with squeaking tires. You could actually smell the rubber burn on the sandy surface.

"Daddy?"

I swung around in utter fear and turmoil...he did hear any of that...?

"Is Uncle Tommy gone?"

Phew...

"Yeah buddy. He had to go."

Thomas smiled, his friendly demeanour reaching his eyes and he reached out his fist towards me.

As always, I fist bumped him in return, as I taught him from way back.

"Good. I didn't like him," he said with total child-like innocence, before giving me a hug.

As I held his little body towards mine, holding his head against my chest, like I did when we was born, I realised...it might take DNA to become a father ...

...it takes LOVE to actually BE one.

I loved Thomas with everything I had inside me. Now that Jen was gone, I had some important decisions to make.

And as I kissed my son...yes, my son, on his crown, my mobile rang.

"Josh Adams, good evening."

No response.

"Hello?"

Whoever it was, ended the call.

Must have been a wrong number...

**

A knock at the back door gave away who it was. As usual.

I was in two minds whether to actually open it. Giving what I now knew, everything has changed. And I wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"Hey...you okay?" Patches asked as he kissed me quickly on my cheek as he entered.

I plonked myself down at the kitchen table and told him the entirety what I had found out about Thomas and my own father.

"Fucking hell...oops...sorry. But...are you sure?" Patches asked, his hand once more encircling mine as he knelt on his knees before me.

He was wearing...shall we say...normal clothes?

A buttoned shirt, with a tie, complete with black trousers and a thick wool jacket...this must be "Ryan's" clothes.

Because "Patches" would never wear any of this...

"He admitted it. Thomas is actually my half brother. He still doesn't know Jen is dead. I can't tell him, Patches. He loved her...I dunno what to do."

Patches held me by my midriff, still kneeling before me and reached up with his handsome face, and gave me a soft kiss on my lips.

"If you want...I could be with you when you do tell him? I love that little boy," he whispered, caressing both my arms with his cold, yet warmish palms.

"I don't wanna confuse him. He already likes you, more than he shocked."

Patches frowned. His caress of my arms suddenly slowed considerably. What seemed like a flash of inner hurt, was dashed across his face.

"Confuse him? Hurt him? I'll never do that!" he said, his voice steady and slow.

"Patches, when you've solved this case...what happens then? I can't imagine a big shot rich ass agent like yourself can stay in one place forever. So when you're done here, my guess is, so are we."

Patches closed his eyes, his hands totally releasing any grip they had on my body. He wanted to speak, but I was first.

"No, Ryan. Let me finish. Yes I said, Ryan. That's your name. We need to be realistic. You came here to solve a case. Not to fall in love. Right?"

"Josh..."

"...I'm not done. You come in here and you make me fell in love with you, because I couldn't help myself. I fell for ya. Hook, line and sinker. The other morning, you were crying. You asked me where do we go from here. Was that all an act?"

"Wait just a fucking second..."

"...language, Ryan..."

"Fuck my language! This is me! This is who I am! I swear! I make mistakes! I'm human! And guess what...I fall in love!"

I sat and stared at this beautiful man in sheer and utter amazement. Never before, have I seen this, this violent or vulnerable side of him.

Patches walked back and forth with his fists balled up.

"Yes, I came here because of a case. Yes, I have a home in Leeds. Yes, I have another life apart from this. Do I wanna share it with you...FUCK YES."

Patches took hold of both my hands one more time, and held both against his chest.

"Feel that?"

"You know I do..."

"That's my heartbeat. I can't fake that."

Patches pulled me upwards from the chair I was still sitting in, and held my face in his hands. He ran his fingers through the hairs at the back in my neck, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Yes, my real name is Ryan. Yes, I'm an undercover agent. But...Patches...that homeless character I created and bought to life, brought me close to you in a way I never thought I'd ever be close to another man. Like you, I had to supress who I was. A gay cop...can you imagine? Then I met you. Your kindness...your passion for life... the love you have for your son..."

I was trying my best not to cry. This gentle giant was making it as difficult as possible.

"We fell in love with you, Josh Adams. Patches...and most of all...a bloke called Ryan."

I lurched forward and kissed Patches, Ryan...this handsome stud with everything I had inside me. It was a solid grab on limbs and body parts that gave Coachella a run for their money.

"My room...now..." I hissed towards the man I loved with all my heart.

"Fuck yeah...shit...sorry..." Patches replied as he shocked the living crap outta me by picking me up inside his strong arms and carried me all the way to what was formerly, me and Jen's bedroom.

I should have been ashamed doing this. Guilty even. Jen hasn't even been dead a day...right then I didn't think with my big brain, as per say.

Patches softly and gently placed me on the bed, on my back and dove onto me. His breathed tasted and smelled of peppermint...he forced his tongue into my mouth as mine found his in a Poseidon of passion and love.

I grabbed the back of his head and pulled on the band that was keeping his hair together in its ponytail...it fluttered around our faces in poetic fashion as he continued to snog our damn skins off.

Patches kissed my chest, my collarbone, my shoulders, he was like a sheer man possessed. He leaned down and solemnly kissed my neck, as I felt his fingers gripping the hems of the shirt I was wearing.

I leaned the totality of my body upwards and pulled the fabric off of me, leaving my torso exposed. Not in any way as ripped and washboard esque as his but I wasn't a slouch wither.

He roared silently with seeing me exposed and dived onto my chest once more, kissing licking, fucking devouring every inch of skin that he could possibly reach.

His hands fumbled with the belt on my trousers, which was a little tricky since his mouth was still glued stuck to my nipples and stomach.

"Get it off...get it OFF!" Patches groaned in an utter hormonal grunt.

I quickly as I could unclipped my belt and unzipped my trousers. Bending my legs, Patches grabbed hold of the hems and ripped it off me. He was out of breath as he did so. He cupped my rock hard penis in his strong, callused hands.

"You're beautiful...so beautiful..." he whispered as he glided the palm of his hand over my cock.

I arched my back backwards onto the bed as my cock was touched by a hand other than mine for about nine and a half years.

God knows I tried to make it work with Jen...it couldn't and wouldn't work.

This...this is what I craved. Wanted. Seeked with my whole entire heart.

Patches placed a few kisses above my groin area, all the while manipulating my rock hard penis with his palm when he finally, apparently decided, he had enough of the appetizer, he dived in on the main course.

I watched as if in awe how he gently lowered the boxers that I was wearing, until he finally, at fucking long last, had my dick in his bare hands. It felt like steel inside his hands.

"Tell me...Vicar..." he whispered, as he started to slowly masturbate me.

I hissed out loud.

Careful not to wake Thomas up. If he had to see this...

"What...oh god...tell you what...?' I positively drooled.

"...if I was faking having feelings for you...would I do this..?"

"Ahhh!! Nnnnuhhh!! Ooh my ggggooddd!"

Patches, you fucking trooper...he leaned down and took my dick straight into his gullet. He started slow, licking at the sides and moving only his bare lips down and down my seven inches I had to offer.

I don't think my dick had ever, EVER been as hard as it was then.

Patches took my organ in his bare hand once more, stroking his thumb over my bare cockhead and fingering open my piss slit.

He leaned down once more and slurped up a bit of pre cum that seemed to pour out of my hard penis.

I grabbed Patches's long blond hair and entangled my fingers inside. Geez...how soft was it...as apposed to the spaghetti-like mess I had so fondly come to know at the beginning...

He continued to make love to my pulsing dick, taking my sensitive balls inside his hands as he squeezed and played with my twin boys downstairs.

His tongue was pushing for entrance at my slit, I tensed up as he succeeded and slurped up some more pre cummy goodness.

He wrapped his entire fist around my cock as he concentrated only on my cock head. It was torture! He lifted his mouth and wrapped his palm around the head, causing the utmost erosion and making my dick throb with my heartbeat.

I grabbed the duvet in my right hand and squeezed the living shit out of it as my left hand was kept in his sweaty hair. His mouth was by now a virtual blur on my rock ass hard dick...he didn't miss a fucking beat. He was attacking my genitals in a way a young lion cub would a fresh piece of meat.

Way too soon, I felt the build-up inside my twin boys...all that sucking, caressing, the on point flickering of his skilled tongue on a penis which hadn't had any action in years...

"I'm...close...so close ..."

I swear he sucked even harder.

"Uhh...oh man...oh man...ahhh...ahhh!!!!"

I'm sorry. I couldn't hold it any longer.

I tried. I failed.

What must have been close to a river of Vicar sperm drenched my poor man's face and throat...where the fuck does it all come from...the last thing I saw was sheer stars.

**

I must have blacked out for a bit due to the level of feelings inside my groin ...when I came to, Patches was lovingly kissing my forehead and holding me inside his strong arms.

I opened my eyes and saw the man I knew, right then, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

"Hey, you..." I whispered, tiredly taking hold of his hand.

With his free hand, he caressed my face and kissed my nose.

"Hey you, too," he said, smiling that devastatingly beautiful smile.

"Lemme do...I mean, lemme return the favour..."

"Not tonight, my love. You've had a long day. We have plenty of time for that..."

I sighed. Never, in my entire life, have I been this happy.

This content.

This...unbelievably crazy ass in love.

With life. With him.

With Patches.

**

"Coffee, as usual."

"Thanks, babe. Hey, I gotta drink up and run. I need to see the commission later about Jen and the drug mule."

I sat down and placed my hand over his.

"You will be careful, won't you? These people...they are dangerous, aren't they?"

Patches's eyes hardened as he squeezed my hand.

"I got this, babe. I'll be safe. Promise."

My phone rang. It was the same number who phoned me yesterday, and hung up when I had answered.

"Josh Adams, good morning?"

"Vicar Josh Adams...tell me...how's your little boy this morning? Little Thomas, was it?"

My blood turned ice cold.

I stood up and quickly walked over towards Thomas's room with Patches looking worryingly at me.

"Josh...who's on the phone?"

I never got a chance to answer him.

As I entered Thomas's room...there was no sign of him.

His bed was pulled open, his sheets thrown all over the place. His blanket with the monster trucks on, lying thrown in a heap on the floor, by the window.

The stuffed teddy bear that Patches had given him, laid all alone, lonely, on the pillow.

"Yeah Vicar...he's here with me. Tell your boyfriend, we want our getaway. The cops are all over us. If you wanna see little Thomas alive again, get a fucking move on."

The line went dead.

"Josh...Josh!"

I never saw the floor coming.

My body gave in.

Thomas...

THANKS FOR READING!!

Will little Thomas be okay? Will Josh now blame Patches for the kidnapping?

Lemme know if you enjoyed it xx

liciousryan@gmail.com