Patches

HOLA PEEPS!!

I wanna THANK YOU guys,from thr bottom of my heart, for all the feedback.

It's been a tough year for all of us, and your kind words every chapter, makes things just...a little better xx

Please enjoy. I certainly did, writing it. Stay safe, Ryan

PATCHES

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

"Well Josh, according to Jen, Thomas is my son. Not yours, but mine."

CHAPTER FIVE

I prayed to the Lord Almighty to keep me calm. Thomas was right next to me and subsequently he had heard every single word that Tommy had just said.

He looked up at me with those big childish, boyish blue eyes. In that moment, he seemed like a little boy who's puppy dog had just been killed. His bottom lip was slightly trembling and he seemed in two minds whether to touch my hand, or not.

"Thomas, go back inside. Wait for me there. Stay with Uncle Patches. I'll be there in a minute."

"But Daddy..."

"Thomas. Inside. Now."

It was a very confused and a slightly terrified little boy that gave Tommy a scared, nervous look before jogging back inside into the community hall as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"Look, Josh, I understand it must be some kind of a shock for you..."

"How dare you? How DARE you come here and tell me this this utter crap? Oh, and I suppose that Jen is the most reliable source there is, innit? Did you know that she drinks more these days than she actually talks to our son? Did you know she's sticking to me like glue over money?"

"Josh, what was I supposed to do when she called me up and told me that Thomas is my son? What would YOU have done?"

"Shut up! Please, you can't be this naïve...a teacher, especially a high school teacher in London, of all places makes nearly triple salary than I do! Even I know that! Only the other day Jen said, if she can't have money, she'll marry it! Do you really, truly believe that Thomas is actually yours?"

Tommy glanced at the gold watch on his left wrist, before placing both of his hands inside his pockets. I hated, loathed the fact that he was still so, so very attractive.

Ten years had done nothing to him. He was muscled, nearly groomed and dressed, sunglasses, gold watch and all. My God, this was Jen's dream. To get out of his shit hole we lived in and to shop all day on her hubby's expense...I can't believe how far she has taken this.

I mean, this was a new low. Even for her. What must be going through Thomas's mind right now...he must be so scared, so unbelievably confused and what's more...his own mother didn't give a damn, as long as she was loaded with booze, cigarettes and of course, money.

"Look, Josh, I'll be honest with you. I had the mumps, a few years back. In the worse form possible. Now, I'm not quite familiar with the medical terminology, but long story short, because of those complications, I can't have children. Me and my wife have tried every single way imaginable to conceive, and when that didn't work, we tried a surrogate, who ended up milking us for nearly every penny we had, and then still lost the baby in her second trimester. We had been through hell, pardon the pun, Vicar. So...when Jen called me up and told me that she had sex with BOTH of us that night at your party, and that I could be the father, well you can understand my reaction. I need to know. I mean...if, and I understand it's a big if, Thomas is my son..."

"...he's not..."

"...if he is, then he's likely to be the only child I will ever have. Please Josh. For what was between us all those years ago. Please let us just do a DNA test. This uncertainty is gonna kill us both, if we don't."

I balled my hands into fists, both of them. If I wasn't wearing my Vicar's robes and white collar, I would have surely throttled Tommy with everything I had inside me. Thomas, was my everything, until Patches had come along. I was supposed to just...HAND him over to Tommy?

I didn't notice Patches behind me until I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Everything okay out here? This man bothering you?" he asked, his eyes digging darts into Tommy.

"Steady there, Samson! I ain't causing trouble," Tommy said with an amused smile, taking in Patches's appearance.

He had undressed the smart clothes I gave him, in lieu of more practical ones for working in the soup kitchens with me, so he now, was dressed in a T-shirt and ripped jeans with an apron around his waist. His long flowing blond hair was waving dapper in the winter's chilly breeze sweeping through our village.

"Josh? Who's this little cunt?" Patches said, his voice full of menace...I know he was protective of me, but at this moment, I couldn't think of anything other than Thomas.

"Look, Tommy, come over to the house foe dinner tonight. We need to talk this out and me and you can catch up, or whatever. Jen is not gonna be home. I know that for sure. She's never home anymore. Patches, get Thomas for me. We need to go home."

Patches glared at Tommy, and for the first time that afternoon, the latter seemed a bit...shall we say, intimidated?

If Patches was your enemy, even I'd be afraid of him. Big man like that with all them tattoos and ripped muscles? Total mismatch.

"You're shagging THAT now?" Tommy asked, still carefully watching the door where Patches had disappeared into.

"I don't owe you jack shit. Come around at seven. I'm at the old Peterson place. You remember where that is?"

"What happened to the vicarage?"

"We had to sell it. The church needed money. Which is one of the reasons Jen hates me."

Tommy nodded slowly and took his car keys out of his jacket pocket. I cringed inwardly as I saw the sparking BMW that was parked a few feet away, as the front and tail lights shone brightly as he unlocked the beautiful vehicle. He has really done well for himself...

God...and look where I was in life...

"Seven yeah?" he said as he opened the door of the driver's seat.

"I guess," I reluctantly replied.

Before Tommy got into the car, his eyes clearly and obviously travelled all over my person, from my eyes, to my chest, lingering a little too long on my crotch, before he licked his lips and smiled.

"No matter the circumstances, it's really good to see you," he said, before finally getting into his flashy motor and driving off.

It was then, that my legs decides to give away underneath me.

I sunk to the ground, feeling the wet grass underneath my clothes and hands, the icy chills of winter that once more, unrelendtly, swept right through me like a sheer blizzard...

I didn't wanna think that what Tommy said might be true. Thomas...was he really not my biological son? Has Jen been sitting on this awful truth for over ten years? Is that why she hated me and our son that much?

A tear escaped from my eye and I angrily wiper it away, more irritated than anything else. Because that logic made sense. That was what scared me.

How, how was I gonna explain this to Thomas?

If, God forbid, he was Tommy's son...how on earth will that little ten year old boy, who I had a solid bond with since the day he had been born...how will he understand that he couldn't live with me, any more?

I hated Jen. I HATED her!

How DARE she...how COULD she...

She sure as hell knew Thomas was my weakness in life. If she wanted to hurt me, she hit the nail on the fucking head.

**

"What? No...fucking hell...sorry, I didn't mean to curse...but...sorry, Josh, but this is insane! That little boy loves you so much! They can't take him away from you!" Patches said in anger, his fists ready to blow.

I smiled ruefully.

Thomas loved his Uncle Patches. He was nuts about the man and I knew from first hand experience that Parches was head over heels for him as well. They got on like a house on fire. This news must have gotten to him as well, as it did me.

"Doesn't matter, Patches. If he's Tommy's son, the courts will force me to let him go. I...dunno how I can do that. This is all Jen. Its all her. Blasted woman! I know Thomas is MY son! I know it!"

I was shaking in rage, feeling anger and frustration like never before. The unfairness of it all...

Patches walked over to the door of my office and gently closed it. I could still hear the Sister's union outside cleaning up and packing away the equipment and hot plates, as well as the two plate stoves we used for the soup kitchen. But in that moment, all I cared about, was the man before me.

The man I loved with my whole being, my heart, with every bone inside my body.

Patches took me inside his strong, muscled arms. He held me so tight, I was afraid I would suffocate. His lips were at my temple, kissing my scalp over and over, his hands caressing my back.

"I'm here. You're not alone. I'll fight this with you, if you want me to ..." he murmured against me ear as he suddenly buried his face inside the crook of my neck.

I needed him so much in that moment. The pain I felt, the notion that Thomas might not be my son...

"I love you, big man..." I whispered back as I curled my arms around his midriff. My head was resting against his strong chest, what's more I could feel and hear his strong heart beat, knowing that he felt the same way about me, as I did him.

"It's gonna be okay. You'll get through this. Hey...look at me..."

Tears formed inside my eyes as I heard his voice turn into mush. Knowing that he too, was angry and upset at what had happened that afternoon.

Patches took my face inside his rough, callused hands. I choked up as I stared into his eyes and all I was seeing was love...pure and simple, no other word for it...it was love.

"Thomas is your son. Forget what a DNA test says. He's YOUR son. You raised him, not that little c...punk. Do you trust me?"

I had no words left. All I did, was nod.

Once more, I was enveloped inside two strong arms.

At least I knew that whatever happened, that I wasn't alone.

Patches was here.

**

"Come in, I guess," I said as I opened the front door and allowed Tommy and his fancy ass outfit to enter my humble home. He looked so damn out of place here...he had truly outgrown the village. London had done its job on Tommy. He wasn't who he was before, that was quite clear.

"I bought wine for us, and some Coke for Thomas. Where is he?" Tommy asked, his nose wiggling as if he had smelled offal or something inside my home.

"Thanks, but I don't drink alcohol and Thomas doesn't like soda. If you had been a father to him, you would know that."

Tommy's eyes narrowed.

"Josh, I'm not the enemy here. I was as surprised as you. There I was, living my life in London when I get a call from Jen saying Thomas is my son, and not yours. What was I supposed to think? I can't have kids of my own!"

I lead Tommy into our kitchen, where I had put together a modest spread, of freshly baked bread, homemade chicken soup and a crisp side salad. Thomas was already waiting for us, after feeding his pet hamster.

"Daddy..." he whispered nervously, as he saw Tommy.

"It's okay, buddy. This is...well, an old friend of mine from school. His name is Tommy, almost like yours. You wanna say hi?"

I nearly choked on my own saliva in laughter as Thomas shook his head in decline.

"No matter, we can enjoy this...uhm...delicious looking...food and just get to known each other, yeah?" Tommy said, his eyes telling me what his voice did not, glancing over the food that me and Thomas had prepared.

"Look Josh, are you sure I can't quickly go to the supermarket in town and get us some decent grub?" he whispered, careful not to allow Thomas to hear him.

"You can always leave if this is not your taste. You've changed, mate. Come back down to earth. This was our favourite meal as kids, or have you forgotten?"

Tommy turned bright red as he seemingly had, and placed down the bottle of wine.

"Well if you're not gonna have a glass, I'm certainly going to."

"Feel free. Thomas, get Uncle Tommy one of the glasses in the sideboard, please?"

After I had dished up for both of us, as well as for Thomas, we started to eat. I watched Tommy out of the corner of my eye...yeah...when was the last time you had bread and soup made as fresh and as wholesome as we did here...

Much as he tried to hide it, he nearly devoured every piece of food I had given him, and even reluctantly, asked for seconds, which I happily gave him.

I excused myself from the table to tuck Thomas into bed and to give him a goodnight kiss. He was so exhausted from working in the soup kitchen all afternoon that it wasn't necessary to read him a story...within minutes, he was out like a light, holding the old teddy bear Patches had given him, to his chest.

Emotions welled up inside me as I watched my boy sleeping.

There was a chance...even with Jen's lies, the little seed of doubt had been planted now...that he perhaps, wasn't my son.

I couldn't remember ANYTHING about that night, the night Thomas was conceived. Right from the start I told Jen, that I didn't remember having sex with her. To me, it simply wasn't possible because, I was gay, and at the time, impossibly in love with Tommy.

My dad was the local vicar...demanding a DNA test was not possible. What would the congregation say, if word came out, and all that?

From the moment the doctor laid baby Thomas in my fifteen year old arms, I was crazy about him. I never knew that I could love this little bundle of pink limbs that much.

I never, ever questioned paternity ever again.

I sighed.

Now, me and Tommy needed to talk.

**

"Look, if he's mine, I won't keep you from seeing him. I'm not a monster. I may have changed, like you said, but I'll never do that to you."

"Tommy, he's not your son. Okay? Jen has changed as well. You won't recognise who she's become. She told me the other day that she knew about us...back in high school. She called you, a faggot. Next thing, she calls you up and tells you you're Thomas's father? Can't you see what she's doing?"

Tommy drank the last of his wine and toyed with the empty glass. He'd polished the entire bottle.

"Ever wondered where we would have ended up if she didn't get pregnant...?" he said, so softy I could barely hear him.

"Of course I did. You were my first love. When you broke up with me, I was shattered. I did everything expected of me...from marrying Jen, taking over as the Vicar when Dad retired, raising Thomas as best I could...but yeah. I missed you. I thought of you every day. I...loved you so much, it actually hurt when we weren't together."

Tommy blinked. He was a little drunk, it seemed. Not a lot to cause scenes tho...but his demeanour had definitely changed and he sure as hell allowed his guard down.

"It wasn't easy for me either. We were planning a future, remember? Then that bitch comes along as tells you she's pregnant and totally fucks things up..."

"Language, Tommy. Please."

"Fuck that. She caused all of this. Know what?"

Tommy got up, and took a few seconds to stabilise his legs, gosh...he was clesrly more drunk than I thought...I had to get up quickly from my seat as well, genuinely afraid that he might slip and crash into the kitchen table.

I held out my hand and kept him upright, as he stared into my eyes.

"Don't worry, Josh. I'm okay. I won't...I won't make trouble for ya...but...you know what...?"

He leaned forward. I actually smelled the expensive wine on his breath. He didn't take his eyes off me for a second.

"Every time...every damn time I have sex with my wife..."

"Yeah...?" I encouraged him, as he stopped to take a breath.

"...Every time...I think of you..."

Sweet Lord and everything that was holy.

**

Tommy tried to lean in and kiss me...he reached out his hands to try and hold my shoulders, no doubt but as I was afraid of, he stumbled and fell over his own feet. Quickly, I kept him upright and stabilised his body.

"Come on, you can't drive home like this," I whispered and he nodded dramatically, almost like accepting defeat.

Inch by inch, step by step, we made slow progress but in the end, we were in my, and Jen's bedroom. I unbuttoned his shirt, afraid that he might get puke on the expensive material.

God...help me...whilst he didn't have the ripped upper body and set of six pack abs like Patches had, he was still not a slouch, and had managed to keep in shape quite nicely.

My mind, reluctantly, travelled back to ten years ago when my hands...fingers...not even to mention, my lips and tongue made cartwheels over that, then, teenage boy stomach and nipples...shitballs...I really had loved this guy.

I had not folded up his shirt within a second, or he had fallen down on the bed, and was lightly snoring. I did my civic duty, as I dragged him upwards so his head laid on the pillow, and made sure that his legs were straightened out.

For a long time I stared at him. The man...the boy, that ten years ago was my whole life.

I felt it inside me. Inside my heart.

I didn't feel the same about Tommy, the way I yearned for Patches.

Eye opening to say the least. I didn't see a future for me and Tommy, even if he wasn't married to another woman.

And even though, I was too, I felt at home with Patches. My stunningly handsome hobo...with the heart of gold.

It was then, that I accepted what had to be done.

Tomorrow, I'd take that Thomas and I for that damn DNA test. I had to know the truth.

Not just because of Jen's lies, but because I needed to be sure. Just because Tommy drank too much and confessed to still having feelings for me didn't mean he was gonna forget this.

The guy couldn't have kids! He wasn't gonna give up on Thomas anymore than I was.

As scenes of me and Tommy, as teenage boys, naked, in bed, with each other's cocks inside our mouths, desperately wanting that pure potent teen boy ball batter, flooded my mind...it was just ...that.

Scenes. Memories. Good times.

I needed more than that.

I needed Patches.

**

"Daddy, will it hurt?" Thomas asked me with those big blue eyes as we sat and waited our turn inside the consultation rooms.

"Well buddy...yeah, I guess, but only a little. You understand that we have, HAVE to do this. Its for...you know...medical stuff."

I HATED LYING TO MY SON!

Jen didn't come home, at all. I had no idea where she was. I called her numerous times without her answering. My guess, she was with the man she had the affair with. She literally bragged about it before me so...no shame. No nothing.

Screw her. It was because of HER that a doctor was going to stick a needle inside my son to draw blood for a needless DNA test.

I was silly to think that Tommy would let this go, or perhaps change his mind. First thing this morning, in the middle of his mild hangover, he friendly, but surely, had me promise to do the test.

I guess I couldn't have peace of mind until I knee for sure either. I hated myself for that.

I had to stop myself frok crying as I saw how brave a boy Thomas was when the doctor has to draw his blood. I held his hand the whole time, and told him one of his favourite bed time stories to distract him, voices and all, as the doctor did his job. It was over before he knew what had happened. A real little trooper, MY son was.

Just as the doctor was finishing up my own blood withdrawal, in came Tommy, who was still walking gingerly, his hangover not quite been subsided.

Half an hour later, in which Tommy offered to pay all costs, including an extra incentive to speed up the results, we left the practice, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Patches waiting for us outside.

Funny...I did tell him that I was taking Thomas for his test, but I didn't remember telling him where it was...we didn't have a doctor on call in the village. You had to travel into town for medical aid, and even then there was three separate practises...oh well. He was here and that was all that counted.

"You guys okay?" He asked, taking my hand inside his.

"Yeah, as can be expected," I said and squeezed his palm with my own.

"You're really shagging this ape?" Tommy asked...getting into his cur.

"Patches...don't!"

It was a blessing that, at that exact moment, Tommy sped off inside his BMW, otherwise Patches would have surely flattened him.

"What a nonce! Sorry. Damn. People like that piss me off..."

"Dude!" I hissed, glancing at Thomas.

"Sorry. Hey, little man! Something tells me, you were a really brave kittle solder today weren't ya?" Patches said as he knelt down to face Thomas.

"I wasn't scared. It felt nothing!"

If only Patches could have seen the "brave little soldier" this morning before we came here...

After ruffling Thomas's hair, Patches stood up and hugged me.

"What's this for?" I asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Nothing. I just love you..." came the whisper against my ear.

**

I was really starting to freak out now.

It was night time, and Jen still wasn't home. That meant she had not been home, since I had seen her yesterday morning before I left for the community hall. On the sofa, in front of the telly, with her half drunken bottle of Jack Daniels.

My brain told me to call the cops. Never mind how she always reacted, these last few weeks, she had always, always come home. Even if just to sleep off her own hangover. She always came home...

I hadn't slept inside our bedroom for weeks now. I mostly slept inside Thomas's room, on the blow up mattress. Didn't matter, because us two boys always had a ball...

...wow...every time in the last few days that I remembered a happy memory of me and Thomas, a little flash of ache shot through my body...to think he might not even be my biological son.

I know Patches told me over and OVER that it takes way more than DNA to be a dad to a kid...but still...I loved that boy. He was my rock, my world.

My little...soldier.

Angrily, wiping away tears AGAIN, I checked that Thomas was still asleep and vowed that if Jen was not back by morning, she would have officially been missing for 48 hours and that meant the cops would HAVE to get off their back sides and DO something.

No matter what she was, or how she treated me, Thomas needed his mother, and he loved her.

**

It was about five a clock in the morning when I heard a knock at the front door.

Urgh...if this was Jen having lost her keys, or even worse, Tommy at this early hour...

Quickly checking that Thomas was asleep still, I opened the door.

My surprise, as two policemen were greeting me in a polite manner.

"Are you Vicar Joshua Adams?" asked the younger of the two.

"Yes, that's me. What's the trouble, officer?"

The older officer stepped forward and showed me a photo. It was of Jen and Thomas, taken a year or so ago.

"Is this your wife? Jennifer Rose Adams?"

I started to get goosebumps...this wasn't gonna be good news...was it?

"Uhm...yes that's my wife. Why? Where is she?"

The older officer placed the photo back inside a wallet he took out of his jacket pocket.

"Is this her wallet, Vicar?"

"Yes...I mean...Officer where is my wife? I don't understand...".

"Vicar, it pains me to inform you that your wife has been found dead on the side of the road, just outside of the village. We found her body this morning, about half an hour ago. These photos as well as her drivers licence and address were found inside her handbag. We unfortunately had to confiscate that, since it contained evidence of crystal meth. Drugs, Vicar. Homemade at that."

Jen...was dead? Meth? Drugs? Jen was on drugs?

Next thing I knew, everything turned pitch dark before me.

**

"Josh? Josh!"

I opened my eyes. I was laid down on my couch inside my home. The same couch that Jen oved so much...

Jen!

"Tommy, where are the cops? Did I dream they were here...?"

"No, they're in your bedroom. Something about searching for more evidence. I was on my way here to take you and Thomas for breakfast when in town, when I saw the place crawling with cops. One of the officers told me Jen...well...is it true she overdosed on meth?"

I wiped my eyes. I didn't wanna believe it, not even from Jen...but in saying that...it has been while since she had been so, incredibly different towards me and Thomas.

She was never really happy in our marriage but the "old" Jen would never have threatened her son...making him wash his own school uniform...staying out at night until God knows what hours...the drinking had gotten worse...but never, ever had I suspected...drugs!?

One of the officers, the younger of the two, entered the living room as Tommy helped me to stand up and face him.

"Vicar, firstly, sorry for breaking the bad news, and sorry for your loss. We have been investigating a drug mule coming into the village for several weeks now. We even had my superintendent, one of our best undercover agents stationed here, as to figure out what was going on. I'm sorry we couldn't save your wife. But I promise you, Vicar, that we will find who did this to your eife."

I simply nodded. Words failed me.

The officer's phone rang, and I could hear Thomas fidgeting inside his bed.

God in heaven...HOW was I gonna tell him his mother was dead??

Damn man, where was Patches when you really needed him?

"Vicar, that was the superintendent. Our undercover agent. He asked me, to tell you, he's on his way here. He needs to talk to you about your late wife. Please excuse me."

"I need to see Thomas. I need to explain...How...Tommy, tell me...how do I tell him...THIS?"

Tommy placed his hand solemnly onto my shoulder. I could hear him breathing deeply. His voice broke slightly, as he spoke.

"You'll know what to say. You're...you're his dad."

Tears flowed down my cheeks at the realization of what Tommy was saying.

"I've done a lot of thinking, Josh. We can make arrangements, if he's mine. But there is no way, I can EVER, take him from you. I just ...I can't. Let me do this. As long as he knows, I'm his biological dad, and you allow me to contribute each month, that's enough for me."

With a croak from inside my chest and throat, I grabbed Tommy and held him tightly towards me. I cried on his shoulder what seemed like ages when in reality, it was most probably only a few minutes.

I finally, FINALLY, saw the real Tommy. The one I had fallen in love with years ago. Not the one who resided in London with the posh job and fancy car...MY Tommy!

A knock at the door startled me. I released Tommy quickly when I saw who it was.

"Patches, hey man...look, I dunno even how to say this...they found her...they found Jen...she...oh God...she's dead, dude..."

Patches walked over towards me, shooting a murderous look at Tommy, and took me into his arms.

A fresh batch of tears flooded my face as the man I loved, once more, assured me everything was gonna be okay.

Out of the corner of my eye the two officers entered the living room, eying me and Parches holding each other.

"Uhm...Vicar? We are done with our searches. We found no drugs on the premises."

"Well, I could have told you that," I answered, wiping away my tears.

"What about you, Agent Xavier? Did the commissioner get hold of you?"

I felt Patches' body stiffen next to mine.

I looked behind me, around me, and in front of me.

Two officers. Myself. Patches. Tommy.

Where was the undercover agent?

"You guys have reports to write. Off you go. I'll finish up here."

No...

Nuh uh.

How...when...WHAT?

Tommy's eyes were stunned.

But not as much as mine.

Patches turned towards me. Still, there was only love inside his eyes as he placed his left hand on my shoulder.

"Josh, I'm sorry. I had to. I couldn't blow my cover..."

"What the hell...?" Tommy whispered in sheer disbelief.

As if in a dream, Patches reached inside the jacket that I had given him, weeks ago, because he was cold, living on the streets.

Because he simply didn't have any respectable clothes...

The man I had lost my heart to pulled out a police badge and gently held it out towards me.

"Josh, I'm Agent Ryan Xavier. Murder and robbery. Please...I BEG you...give me a chance to explain..."

THANKS FOR READING!!

Any of y'all see THAT coming? Been going nuts keeping this hidden until now haha!

Lemme know what you thought, please? Xx

liciousryan@gmail.com