"The Strength that Bond"
Brett went with his parents to Disney World and I left with mine to Cancun. I was miserable the entire 3 weeks and my mother was constantly checking my temperature and vitals to determine if I had some illness that was causing my mood. I'm sure I made their vacation as miserable as mine. I could feel the emptiness inside. It was an intense yearning that caused me stomach problems. I wondered if Brett was enjoying his vacation.
We arrived back in Killeen on a Sunday. Brett was supposed to have gotten home the previous Friday, so I dashed upstairs to my room and called his house. His sister answered the phone and told me that Brett had left there about 10 minutes before I called. I asked her where he had gone, and she had no idea. After hanging up the phone, I fell on my bed and wondered where he could have gone. He knew I was coming home today. I called Shelby and we talked about our vacations. I had told Shelby the week before I left on vacation about Brett and I. She already knew, of course.
Shelby had told Shelly that I was gay. They're best friend and never kept secrets from each other. I was a bit surprised that she had told this secret, seeing as how it could have totally destroy my life if she had mentioned it to the wrong person. Then Shelby told me that Brett and Shelly were almost playing the same game she and I were, the one exception, that Brett was Bi. I told her I should have known the two of them would have the whole story, considering their actions over the past several months.
I asked Shelby if she knew where Brett was. I thought that he and Shelly may have gone to catch a movie or something and if anyone knew, it would be her. She didn't know. I told her bye and as I hung the phone up and fell on my bed again, Brett came running into my room and jumped on me. Caught completely by surprise, his momentum carried us both off the bed and we hit the floor. He was laughing at the top of his lungs and I was trying to recover from being startled almost to death.
"My God Brett!" I managed, "Your going to give me a freaking heart attack!" He had a hold of me and rolled me on top of him to where I was straddling him.
"Oh just shut up and bend down here a give me a kiss!" I didn't need to be asked twice. As we kissed, the emptiness I had felt the last 3 weeks slowly filled with the love I received from him. It was like consuming his life force, in order to replenish my own. "Oh God I missed you so much. I thought you'd never get back." He said as we came up for air. "Did you miss me?"
"What the hell do you think? My mother was ready to admit me to the hospital in Cancun because she couldn't figure out why I was moping around." I leaned back down and gave him another kiss. My mother called from the bottom of the stairs to ask if we were all right. Evidently the crash to the floor didn't go unnoticed down stairs. I yelled down to her that we were both fine and that Brett had tackled me.
"Well you too better not tear the house down!" she yelled back with mirth in her tone.
"So how was Disney World?" I asked and stood up, pulling Brett up with me.
"I was sick the whole time. I kept throwing up and I even had a fever the first 3 or 4 days. My father got pissed at me, but I couldn't help it. I had this tightness in my chest and it made my stomach hurt. It's all your fault you know?"
"My fault?? I was sick too, remember!" Even though I felt bad that he had been sick, I also felt elated that he suffered from our separation as much as I had. "So what do you want to do? Want to go see a movie?"
"No. Um...can we just stay here and maybe listen to the radio or something? I don't want to be around anyone today except you. I really did miss you Brent. If being separated from you for just 3 weeks made me sick, what the hell is the summer break going to be like." He sat down on my bed as I went to close my bedroom door. "I might die. I don't understand this." I came back and lay on the bed as he was talking. I pulled him to lay down with me and I held him in my arms. He kissed me and said, "I love you."
"I love you too and we'll have to think up how we can convince our parents to not travel this summer. Maybe." I wasn't convinced I could convince my father of anything. He planned every summer out well in advance and more than likely had already paid deposits and such for trips he'd worked out.
"Ok, well do that." Brett said.
As I lay with Brett in my arms and felt the rise and fall of his chest against mine, I couldn't imagine a time in my life I had been so comfortable and secure. I loved him in such a way, that he was a vital part of my existence. No two people could be better suited for each other than we were. I could feel him tighten his hold on me at intervals, as we lay there, and knew that he must me thinking about us and experiencing the same feelings that I was.
The weeks of school passed and before we knew it, summer break arrived and my freshman year of high school came to an end. I had experienced so much in such a short time, yet I could not remember what my life was like before Brett came into it. Robert had only contacted me once in the seven months since he had moved to Germany. The letter, and the words he wrote, allowed the pent up emotions I still held for him to be released. He had moved on with his life and I had surely moved on with mine. We both knew that when he left, it would be the last time we would share our lives with the other. I don't regret a moment of it. I found love, lost it and now I had love I never imagined would compare, yet, it surpassed anything I had experienced.
To both our utter amazement, Brett and I had somehow convinced our parents to spend the summer break with the other family. Both sets of parents planned and organized the summer together. They had become friends and spent many night's playing cards. They'd alternate invitations to dinner at the others house and Brett and I were astonished at our luck. Not only did we love each other, but our families had become friends as well. Brett's sister was developing a crush on me, and his little brother, Matt, would tag along with us 'big' guys whenever we'd allow him too.
We spent 4 weeks in Corpus Christi at a Holiday Inn on Padre Island. Sun, surf and swimming occupied almost every day. Brett's tan had developed into a deep golden bronze and his hair had been lightened by the constant exposure to the sun. I suffered the same effects and we were inseparable the whole time. We'd walk along the beach at sundown and talk about what we wanted to do with our lives. We planned everything together. Neither of us could imagine life without the other in it. From Corpus we traveled to Louisiana to spend another 4 weeks in New Orleans, then another 3 weeks in Las Vegas, Nevada. Throughout the summer break, Brett and I shared a room together and we slept in each other's arms. We made love, we talked, we played and we grew even closer to each other. Then the summer was over.
One week and school would start. I was going to be a sophomore and Brett a junior. I was also one year older, now 15. Brett and I went shopping for school clothes and we made sure to buy all the latest teen boy fashions. We had an image to uphold at school and being jocks, well, we had to be the envy of our peers and I was now an upperclassman, with all them freshmen to look up to me. I hated playing the high school game, but I guess it was expected. The two of us kind of settled down that last week before school, and prepared ourselves for the restrictions school would place on our relationship. He was still in a grade above me, so we'd not have any classes together. All we could expect was to see each other at lunch and then again at football practice. But at the end of the day, we would make up for lost time at either his house or mine. We worked it all out, planning and plotting to secure as much time together as we possibly could.
The first two months of school passed without much notice by either Brett or I. All we knew were the times we'd spend together after school and on weekends. Our families settled down into familiarity with each other and life couldn't be better. Brett came over my house after school one day and we went to my room.
"Guess what I read about today?" He asked as he dropped his backpack on the floor by the door and jumped in my bed. I went to the bathroom to relieve myself and came out.
"What did you read today?" I took off my shirt and grabbed a t-shirt out of my drawer.
"We have this assignment in Sociology that deals with human nature and the relationships between animals and their offspring. I have to write a paper that compares the way animals and humans differ in their social units. Anyway, I was reading this book and it described the way a mother bonds with their baby the moment birth is given. Most hospital place the baby in the mothers arms even before they cut the umbilical cord to allow mother and child to bond."
"Ok, so how long does it have to be and how much time do I have to get it done?"
"Uh! Just listen! I'm not asking you to do the freaking paper for me. I want you to hear what I found out. It has a lot to do with YOU and ME." He gave me an exasperated look.
"Sorry, " I blushed. I moved over to the bed and lay down with him. "Go ahead. I'm listening." He wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his hands on my chest, as I lay on him, looking out the window.
"Well, you see, a mother and child bond with each other when the baby is still in the womb. The baby hears it's mother's heart rhythm and it becomes used to it. It like...becomes a part of him. The baby also hears its mothers voice and this reinforces the bond even before birth. The mother bonds from instinct." I listened to him talk and thought about how close my mother and I were. My father and I were close and we loved each other, but mother showed her love a great deal more. She also had this sixth sense about when I was sick or upset too.
"What about fathers?" I asked him.
"They bond too, but not as near as much as the mother. Most of the bonding a father does, is after the birth and as the child grows up. Anyway...you remember how you got stung by that jellyfish in Corpus?"
"How could I forget? I thought my leg was going to burn off."
"When it happened I was up in the room and I KNEW something was wrong. I had this feeling that I needed to go and find you. And remember when I got that cramp when I was swimming..."
"YEAH! I remember. I was talking to your mother on the beach and all of a sudden I got this weird feeling and turned around and saw you limping out of the water!" Could it be, I thought?
"Well, what I think is that..." and we both said it at the same time, "We've bonded!"
That has to be it. The yearning we both felt when we were apart. The overwhelming feeling that came over us if the other was hurt or needed each other. Not even the fact that we loved each other as much as we do, really explained it. But bonding? That was it! And a step further, I had this instinct to protect Brett at all costs. If I thought someone hit him much harder at practice, I'd make sure to hit him harder to get back for Brett. If someone said something derogatory about the way he played, I'd stand up for him and almost fight until the other backed down.
"YEP! We are bonded." Brett stated and I looked up to see his face and he had a huge smile. I sat up and we embraced each other in a kiss. "I love you Brent Stewart." His voice lowered when he said this and we both wiped the tears from each other's eyes and continued to hold each other as we let the moment sink in. Nothing compared to this...and nothing ever would. We were one in more ways than either of us had expected and we never imagined it could be like this.
Brett and I decided to go horseback riding. I rode Sierra and Brett took Red. Red had turned into Brett's horse as much as he was my brothers'. My brother was at college and seldom made it home. He was studying to be a doctor, like my mother. He attended the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston. I told him, when I spoke to him once, that Brett had been riding Red and he said that was great. He was never really big into riding, but my father had insisted that his children know how to ride. I really enjoyed it, so I never had a problem with it. My sister liked to ride also, but she too was away at college, but in California.
We rode around the property and raced the horses up and down the hills. Brett and I always competed with each other when it came to anything remotely resembling sports. It was all in fun and we always had a good time.
After stowing the gear and brushing down the horses, Brett and I went to the house, made some sandwiches and ate. We then decide to take a shower together. It was still early afternoon and we had the whole place to ourselves. I turned the water on in my bathroom and Brett and I helped each other undress. We both smelled like horses and we laughed as hay dust floated around the room and caused us to sneeze. The site of each other naked always caused him and I to have immediate reactions. I could see the lengthening of his cock as he stood watching me get the shower going. Of course my own body reacted to him in the same way. We were of a same size when it came to our cocks. He was cut like I was, and when he was erect; it stood up straight and would be pointing right at his naval. There was a slightly darker ring, which circled his cock about an inch and a half from the tip from the circumcision. When I would wrap my hand around it, there was still an inch to go before my fingers could touch. We had both started trimming our pubic hair and also shaving our balls. I guess not having to pull loose hairs from our mouth during sex, prompted this grooming need. Brett's balls and sack added the perfect compliment to the rest of his sex organ. They hung low and were about the size of golf balls. With his light brown hair, his pubic hair was almost the same color as my own.
We got into the shower and washed the stink and grim from each other. Our cocks would fight a sword duel with each other as we hugged and reached to wash each other's hair. The thrill and waves of ecstasy caused by our cocks touching, insured that we remained ready for action after the shower. Once we were clean, we stepped out and dried ourselves. We embraced each other and maneuvered our way to my bed, our lips locked in a kiss. Brett laid me down and then he lay on top of me. Ours cocks were rubbing each other as we kissed any exposed skin our lips could find. Our tongues would find each other's and we'd suck the other into our mouths in a deep passionate joining of juices. Brett used his legs to part mine and I felt our body's mold together, bringing even more contact between our now enflamed groins. As he thrust his hips forward, I would pick up the rhythm.
Our need increased with each passing moment and the slickness of our combined precum, made the area sensitive to each motion. With a long kiss, I changed positions to bring his cock inline to enter my mouth. He changed his position to give mine the same attention we both anticipated. I licked the slick sides of his engorged manhood and tasted the combination of us both. He moaned as I worked my tongue around and along his fullness and then took one of his balls in my mouth, using my tongue to manipulate the egg. I gasped when I felt my own cock enter his hot, moist mouth. Flames of passion exploded in my brain as he worked his tongue around my sensitive cock head. I thrust my hips forward to sink deeper into the warmth of his mouth and he accommodated me, by opening his throat and burying my head deep within. He used his throat to work the muscles surrounding me and I moaned and returned his worship of my cock, by taking his in my mouth.
His taste compared to nothing else, and the heat that filled my mouth made me groan. He was leaking a great amount of precum, and I savored every drop as it slide along my tongue and down within me. I didn't have the muscle control in my throat that Brett did, but I made up for it by working his tool with my tongue. I swirled it around and into his piss slit and back along the base as he too moaned, lost in the pleasure I was giving him and his continued swallowing of my cock.
The sensation started deep inside and traveled along the nerves of my legs up to my loins. I knew the feeling and felt Brett's cock grow in girth in my own mouth. We were both close to coming. As if on cue, we sped up our manipulation of the other cocks, as we thrust our cocks deeper in the others mouth. Brett knew the limits of my throat and seemed to consciously know how far he could bury his need. His throat, on the other hand, seemed to open wider and I felt my cock slip further in the warmth and his nose was buried in between the tightness of my balls that would release the reward of his labors.
Moans escaped each of us as we thrust deep into the other and came. I emptied my love into Brett's mouth as he slowly extracted my cock from deep with in, and then savored the jets of passion that pumped from my cock slit. He worked his coated tongue around my shaft and I continued to loose every ounce my body held. I came explosively and in great amounts whenever Brett and I shared each other. He could coax every bit of my seed to the surface and still he hungered for more.
The first splash of his pent up juices hit the back of my throat and slipped down without my having even tasted its tartness. The head of his cock expanded, and then contracted with each spasm. I withdrew his sex, inch by inch, and was rewarded with the flavor of him as my tongue picked up and tested the offering. I worked hard to swallow the tremendous amounts of liquid, like I was quenching a thirst and hunger, which could never be sated. I worked my hand from base to tip while he remained in my mouth and I felt the lessening of his hardness. I wanted every last drop.
Having completely exhausted ourselves and drained the other of the physical manifestations of our love. Brett let my cock fall from his lips, as I removed his from my mouth. We looked at each other and smiled. The coolness of the air hit me and my cock deflated at a rapid pace as I noticed Brett's similar reaction.
I heard a noise come from across the room and then my door opened. There, framed in the opening stood my father, the words "Brent, you need to get down..." and then there was abrupt silence as he took in the sight of Brett and I in my bed naked, and glistening from the sweat we had created during our love making.
We both jerked up in an attempt to recover from being found out and I looked at my father as the blood made a distinct reddening of his face, starting at his neck and progressing to the top of his hairline. His eyes narrowed and his chiseled expression fixed in a stare of utter loathing. Brett had watched along with me, and then he reacted before my brain could even process the self-preservation instincts inherent there. He had jumped off the bed and dashed into my bathroom. He slammed the door shut, leaving me alone, as I still tried to recover from shock. Instead of my father coming for me on the bed, he made for the bathroom door and pounded on it. I recovered at the first pound on the door and heard Brett saying, "OH SHIT, OH SHIT" from the other side.
"Get the fuck out of there and out of MY house!!" He yelled at the door and continued to pound. I slid off the bed and pulled my boxers on. Another noise came from the bathroom, kind of like something breaking, and I hoped that it wasn't Brett passing out. I was on the verge myself, and my father had yet to make his move on me. I didn't have to wait long. Brett was not coming out of the bathroom. My father would need a bomb to get to him and his banging and threats had probably cause Brett to take root in the middle of the floor, frozen in fear. But, Brett was my heart and soul, and I was not going to let my father hurt him.
"Leave him ALONE!" I yelled. Oops. Wrong demand to make at the time. I swallowed hard.
My father rounded on me, but at least I succeeded in diverting his attention from the bathroom. What was I going to do now?? "What do you think your doing?" he hissed between clinched teeth. "This is MY house. This is...MY HOME...you're my SON!!" Looking at my father, I took up where Brett left off and was mentally screaming "OH SHIT, OH SHIT." As he blared these statements of fact at me, he was making progress across the floor to me. "How could you do this to ME??" he finished and reached out his massive hand and infolded my throat in his grip. I disengaged from his grip and jumped on my bed.
My voice would not come to me now. I could not utter a sound I was so scared. I had never in my life seen my father so enraged. He looked like he had pure hate in his eyes and he no longer recognized me as his son. I knew I faced my last day on earth as he attempted to get a hold of me again. How I remained conscience and managed to avoid his repeated attempts will remain a mystery forever. My father was a big man. He stood 6'4" and weighed around 230 lbs. Every ounce, 100% prime U.S. Army stock. He'd defended his country in Viet Nam and on many other campaigns. He was well trained to deal with any situation. Not this one.
"What the hell do you think your doing DAVID??" My mother appeared in my doorway and yelled at my father. It's my mother!! The thought permeated my brain. I jumped from the bed and sprinted to her and she forced me behind her and stood to face the onslaught of my fathers' wrath. This little woman, who stood barely 5'3"; flaming auburn red hair and a streak of stubbornness that any mule would blush to have to compete against; stood in the path of my destruction. "Are you deaf?? I asked what in the name of God do you think you are DOING??" She maintained a grip on my left arm with her left hand as she secured me to her back.
"Ask your faggot son and that other faggot in the bathroom what's going on!!" He yelled in reply. All sound ceased at the instant my father mouthed those words of hatred. I couldn't see my mothers face, but I'm sure my father could and from his reaction to her, he knew he had overstepped some invisible barrier. My mother was no doubt at a loss for words, but my father was right on one point in his reply. I was HER son and he was NOT going to press an advance. She finally turned and looked at me. Our eyes met. She looked pained and I imagined I was as white as a ghost.
"Mom." I whispered
She turned back to face my father, "You take your ass down them stairs, calm down and I'll find out what is going on up here." She said in a very calm, yet authoritative voice. My father had lost round one and stalked towards us. I ran from behind my mother and to the bathroom door as my father walked through the bedroom door and down the stairs. My mother came to me and moves me away from the door. She knocks on the bathroom door and asked who is in there. Brett did not answer her and she looked to me. Maybe he had passed out. "Who's in the bathroom Brent?"
"Brett is in there!" I walked over to my bed and sat down. I was emotionally wiped out. I didn't have the strength to breath it felt like. I started to cry. My mother came over to the bed and reached out her hand towards my face. I jerked from her as if a king cobra was about to strike me dead; sure she was about to slap my face. She extended her reach and took my face in her hand and used the other to wipe the tears from my eyes and cheeks. She sat next to me and asked me what happened. I told her from the point my father had entered the room, and let her guess at what had happened prior to his arrival. Us being naked in bed was enough to let her know what she needed and to explain my fathers reaction to what he saw. Not excuse it, but explain at least. She sat next to me in silence for about 30 minutes; the tears continued to fall from my eyes. Finally she moved back to the bathroom door and spoke to Brett.
"Brett? Please come out. Everything is all right. No one is going to harm you. Please, just come out here."
Brett opened the door and came out. He had found some clothes in the bathroom and put them on, I assume in order to make a quick escape if need be. My mother told him to go and sit on the bed next to me. He came and sat down next to me and I looked at him. "Are you ok??" When I asked, he started to cry and I reached out to him and brought him close to me. This was the guy that I loved and I wanted to protect him more than I cared about what my family thought. I held him tight as he released the fear inside, and I absorbed and disbursed it within. This moment would define the role I would take forever more. I was the protector and defender. I would die before I allowed one hair on him to be harmed.
My mother gathered up Brett's clothes and handed them to him. She asked him to go in the bathroom and change. Brett did, and then came back out. She told him that he should go home and that he and I would see each other later. Brett looked at my bedroom door and then at my mother. He was shocked. There was NO way he was going downstairs by himself to be confronted by my father on his way out. My mother gathered as much and said she'd walk him to the front door. Brett started towards the door and I jumped up from the bed and went over to him. I hugged and kissed him. I told him that I loved him and that I'd call him later. My mother escorted him out of the house and came back to my room. I had gotten dressed while they were gone and was sitting at my desk staring out the window. She came in, closed the door and walked over to me. "Brent, is this what you want? Are you sure you know what your doing?"
I replied, "Yes, it's what I want."
At this very moment, I learned what unconditional love between a mother and a son is. My mother sat next to me and said, "Brent all I've ever want out of life is for you to be happy and successful. Not for me, but for you. Your choices in life have to be your own and you will have to live with them. I just want you to know that I love you and always will, no matter what you do or become. I don't approve of your choice, but I accept you as you are." She hugged me and gave me a kiss. I don't think I've ever cried as much or for as long as I did that night.
Later that night, I could hear my parents arguing downstairs. Both were yelling and screaming at each other. I knew it was about me, but I knew I had my mother to defend me. I couldn't ask for better support than her. I fell asleep to the sounds of them fighting and woke in the morning to silence.
This was a very tough chapter to write. The toughest yet. If you would like to comment on this series, I'd appreciate any feedback, which you can send to brent@cutey.com. Thanks again to all those who have already written me and express their support. I'm overwhelmed.