Outing For Brian

Outing for Brian This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings,beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it mightnot be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at timesbetween men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If youare too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kindif story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - -ENJOY! Cast of characters: Brian Weber -- That's me!Deena -- my wifeRonny -- my son.Chris Willows -- kid in bathroom.Mike Riggs -- new friend.Chanelle LeBelle -- Ronny's girlfriend.Gary Foosdorf -- Mike's friendMuhammad Zarindast - Friend

From Chapter 2:

"Ron -- he could have at least come or even called -- and told me himself! That was cowardly."

"I like him. I think you should cut him some slack. Remember -- he's not as old as you." Said Ronny

"By all appearances -- he seems somewhat younger than you!" I said. I was surprised at my anger. That just wasn't me.

We ate some breakfast and as we were backing out of the driveway, we saw someone go up to the front door. I backed up and waited to see what he would do. He left a note and upon turning around -- it was Gary.

When he saw us, his head dropped and he shook it slowly from side to side. I got out and approached him.

"What's up, Gary?" I tried to seem upbeat and -- at least portray some understanding -- which I didn't feel!

Chapter 3

"Omigod! I thought I could sneak the note onto your door." He said with head lowered.

His 30 years evaporated, as he looked at me, his eyes peering from his still bowed head. I could see immediately how repentant and bad he felt.

"I'm trying not to be -- um -- judgmental, Gary -- but it's hard. Help me out." I am afraid it came out a bit less cordial than I wished.

Gary looked up at me with a hurt expression. "This is -- hard." He said haltingly. "I didn't think I could face you, but -- now that I'm here, I see that was bad judgment on my part."

"Did you want to take a walk -- or something? You haven't seen our horses up close, have you?"

He again looked up at me, his head still bowed. "Th -- thanks. I'd like that."

I walked to the car and told Ron to put it back in the garage and that Gary and I would be out in the stable for awhile. Ronny beamed at me.

We walked in silence for awhile. Just about the time we reached Hero's cubicle he started to talk. Our stable is short, with 2 stalls, open to the back, with a pathway down the middle. They are nothing extravagant -- just serviceable. We leaned on the stable door to Hero's cubicle, and of course Hero came over, expecting a carrot or other treat. I grabbed on from a bin and gave it to him and petted his nose.

Gary sighed loudly then said, "Brian, I was on such a high when I left here two night's ago! I'm sure I don't have to explain what I did when I got home." He for the first time smiles slightly. I let him talk.

After another heavy sigh, he said, I haven't been so excited about - - meeting another guy - - since -- since -- well, sorry, but since I lost Raul. You were like a dream come true.

"When I went to sleep Sunday night," he continued, "I was -- well -- satisfied in a couple ways. Besides what I had just done to relax myself, I felt good about our parting. I slept well, with a pretty nice dream -- about you -- er, well -- us!

"When I got up and took my shower, I noticed some bumps -- in my pubes. They itched, so I scratched them. It hurt! Then -- I remembered another incident like that a few weeks ago, and my heart sank. Could I have something more than jock itch?

"I went immediately to the clinic and had one of the doctors look at the rash. He asked me if this happened often. I told him no, but that it had happened at least once before -- a few weeks ago. He told me he suspected that I has genital herpes."

I immediately thought of my reaction to mike telling me that he tests positive for AIDS, and tried to minimize my reaction, but I was not quick enough. My jaw dropped and I actually stepped back -- as I had with Mike.

"Brian -- oh my God! If we had done anything -- Sunday night -- I could have given this to you!" Tears sprang to his eyes. "I don't know what to tell you!"

"Are you sure it's Herpes?"

"The doctor took a blood test. It should be ready this afternoon. Brian -- I am petrified! I'm relieved that we decided not to -- to -- do anything but I -- don't know what to do."

This is where my paternal instincts -- and maybe some age, experience and the slight maturity advantage I had on him -- kicked in. It could have as easily been my son telling me this.

"Okay. First, let's not assume the worst, Gary. Do you mind if I go with you when you get your results? I have the day off anyway."

His already wet eyes filled with tears. "Sorry!" he squeaked. "This is hard, and you -- being so sweet about it - " He looked at the ceiling. After another huge sigh, he said, "I want you there so much -- now that you have offered -- that it's like it's consuming my whole being. But -- OMIGOD! What if it's positive? I almost know it is. I have searched almost every site I could find on the Internet and -- it's pretty classic." He slid down the stable wall and almost collapsed on the floor, with his hands on his face. I was glad that we had not used rough lumber on the interior walls.

I knelt in front of him and took his hands in mine. "Somehow, you'll get through this -- Gary. Does Mike know?"

"Yeah. I stupidly told him first. As if he doesn't have enough to worry about!"

"Well, don't beat yourself up over that. He IS worried about you, but I think he's fine. Do you have an appointment this afternoon?"

"Two-forty-five."

"That's four hours from now." I pointed to the saddles on the wall. "Do you ride?"

"I like to -- but I'm no expert."

"Would you like to?"

As if he understood, Hero snorted and kicked the stable wall.

"I dunno if I could handle that one!" he smiled.

"Heh! I'm afraid Ronny is the only one here who can! I won't ride Hero. You can ride Trigger, and I'll go see my neighbors. We have an agreement. They are Russians from South America and have a beautiful black Arabian I have been salivating over. Their daughter can also ride Hero, and sometimes borrows him.

We walked to my neighbor's home and knocked at the door. He works out of his home, teaching operatic voice lessons. He was retired from singing opera in Los Angeles.

"Brian!" He said in a thick Argentine accent. His wife's mother had escaped from Russia to Argentina with her mother during the Russian revolution in 1917. Her grandfather was assassinated. "Comb een, Comb een!" He said in his deep baritone voice. ""How ARE you, my friend?"

"Dmitri, I want you to meet my friend, Gary. We wanted to go riding but of course Hero - "

"Ah yes! Gary! Nice to meet you! You remind me of an old friend, Placido Domingo, but -- of course much younger and -- hahahah -- maybe better looking!"

Gary looked nothing like Placido Domingo. Dmitri likes to talk about - - himself - - a lot.

"You know once he and Luciano Pavarotti sang with me! Come and see my picture with Luciano!" He indeed had a picture of himself and Pavarotti on his piano. I was immediately impressed.

"You want to ride my horse?" He said. "Of course, of course! I will have Aleksandra put a saddle on Tara." He saw my face fall. Tara is -- seriously -- an old gray mare -- a nag that they loved and had for too many years. Dmitri laughed uproariously. "I'm keedding Brian! Keeddinnnnng! You probably want to ride Satan!"

Satan was the Arabian I was hoping to ride. "He is a handful, but I know that you are an excellent horseman."

"I can't handle Hero."

"I think Aleksandra and your Ronny are the only ones who can. I truly believe that horse has the devil in him!" "Aleksandra!" Dmitri yelled -- no -- sang. "Please saddle Satan and Peter. We are going riding."

So, with that, Dmitri invited himself to ride with us. As we rode and Gary became more familiar with Dmitri, Gary said, "So Dmitri, is Pavarotti gay too?"

I was nonplussed. Why would Gary say something like that?"

Dmitri looked mildly surprised. "Hohohoho!" he finally responded, "I guess it takes one to know one, huh?"

I looked between the two of them. "Did you know Gary already?" I said, baffled, still not catching on to Dmitri's statement.

"No, my good friend. This morning is our first meeting. Apparently his gaydar is more honed than yours is?"

"I had no idea that you were -- but wait! You're married! Does Ericka know?" Ericka is his wife.

"In the old world, it was the privileged who supported the arts -- the aristocracy. It has gone down hill since that practice stopped. Now you have the Blessed Virgin submerged in urine -- or spattered with excrement! And they call that art. A heinous and immoral sacrilege! My mother-in-law is great Russian aristocrat. She taught me to sing. So -- I marry her daughter. It is a tradition."

"I had no idea."

"I don't know why it should surprise you -- you were married too!" Said Dmitri.

Even though we were riding and there was a cool breeze, I felt immediately hot. "I have always known you were gay, Brian. Don't look so hurt. I have been around these people all my life. Pavarotti actually came on to me, but my Got! He was twice my age at the time! And besides -- if he would sleep with me -- then who else had he been with."

"Close your mouth, my friend -- the flies will go in there! I of course would never do that."

"Do what?" I said.

"Sleep with another man."

"Why?" Asked Gary.

"Besides I'm married, you mean?" Said Dmitri. "My brother is a priest! I could not shame him like that! We live to serve the church."

"Dmitri, did -- er -- do you now anyone with Herpes?" He asked.

"I have it. My wife has it. It is quite a bother at times. Why do you ask?"

"I may have it." Said Gary.

"It is a nuisance. That is all. The first breakout is the worst. I got it all down my throat and mouth. It was quite painful. Now I get one once in awhile and - "

"Oh! You mean Herpes I! I may have Herpes II you know -- genital herpes."

"I think it is the same. You know when it is coming."

"I see. Well, I meet with my doctor this afternoon. Brian is going with me."

Dmitri looked at me, then back to Gary. "OHhh! I should have known. Stupid me! I didn't put you two together at all -- at first."

"Oh -- we're not together!" Said Gary. "He's just a friend."

I had several emotions going when he said that. First of all -- it's true. Second, it probably was a good deflection for Dmitri's sake. Third, it hurt deeply. I wanted there to be so much more there than "just a friend."

"I must get back. I have a student coming for a lesson. Aleyev is brilliant! He may be my first star! Good luck with your appointment. I hope it's negative. Great to meet you, Gary!" Gary and I rode for another 30 minutes and then took Satan back. Aleksandra met us and sweetly took Satan's reins and led him away.

Gary dismounted Trigger and we walked back toward the stable. "Do you think what he says is true?" Said Gary. I knew exactly what he was worried about. I was too!

"I hope so. If -- I mean -- well, lets see what the doctor says. If it tests positive, he can probably answer your questions."

When we got back to the stable, away from prying eyes, after currying Trigger, we started for the house. I pulled Gary back into the shadows of the stable. We laughed to see Trigger -- after my thorough currying -- get down and roll in the straw and the red dirt! After we laughed, I grabbed Gary and pulled him to me.

"I think it's gonna be just fine!" I said, then kissed him on his mouth. He resisted a moment, then gave in to it and kissed me back almost desperately.

"Thanks! You have no idea how much I needed that."

"Oh -- I might!" I said, and kissed him again. He started to kiss me back the second time, but then pulled away.

"Let's not -- get too involved -- jut yet." He said, smiling sadly.

"Okay. Sorry." I said. "Maybe we can celebrate later this afternoon."

I drove him to the clinic and he asked that I be present when seeing the doctor. The doctor was very cordial. "Good afternoon, Mr. Foosdorf. Is this your partner?"

We looked at each other and said, in unison, "not yet."

"You may want to wait awhile before becoming that way."

"Just tell me what the blood test said, Doctor."

"Please, have a seat, gentlemen."

"I'd rather hear it on my feet." Said Gary, becoming agitated and nervous.

"Okay. You tested positive for the Herpes II virus and - "

"What? Positive!?" Said Gary. He looked at me with a sick and worried look. Then it hit him. "And? Did you say AND!??" Gary looked fit to be tied.

"You also tested positive for Chlamydia."

Gary's knees buckled and he went down.

I knew better than to immediately try to raise someone up who just went down. I squatted by his side. So did the doctor. "There, there, Mr. Foosdorf. It's not as bad as all that!"

"I -- I -- saw some pictures this morning on the internet -- of people infected with Chlamydia." He looked up at the doctor and appeared as scared as any teen girl who found out she was pregnant.

The doctor offered Gary a hand. "I wish you hadn't seen those. I've seen them and they are scary! Do you feel strong enough to get up?"

Gary took both our hands and we escorted him to a chair. "I'm used to this." Said the doctor. "Many kids do it just hearing about one or the other. That's why I asked you to take a seat."

"Sorry."

"Now -- regarding the Chlamydia -- we have antibiotics that can completely rid it from your body. The harder part is -- after you contract it, it can remain dormant in your body for a long time. You probably never even had any symptoms. And in all likelihood, neither did your partner." He looked directly at me.

"Oh, he's not my partner!"

"Well, nevertheless, anyone that you have been intimate with in the recent past -- should be notified. You definitely caught it from someone and you may have given it to someone else."

Gary looked at the floor and blew air out. "Doc I've been -- and believe me, I'm not particularly proud of this -- but -- I've been kind of -- promiscuous -- for the last two years. I thought I'd been pretty careful. But the Internet said that - "

"Now there's where the Internet is not exaggerating. Chlamydia can be spread -- as well as Herpes -- even if you use a condom or other means of protection.

"I wish I'd known that two years ago!"

"You and hundreds of thousands of others." But I'll give you a prescription for an antibiotic and it will fix you up."

I saw the tension drain out of Gary's body.

"Now -- regarding the Herpes."

Gary tensed up again and clutched the arms of the chair. "Yeah?"

"The outbreaks that you have had are typical. You may or may not get a heavy outbreak. Be on the lookout for that. The main thing is -- don't participate in anything sexual if you feel itchy or -- you will get to know what it feels like before it breaks out. Try to be in contact with your body, so you will always know."

"What's it feel like -- before it breaks out?"

"It's hard for people to describe. Different people feel it differently -- or at least describe it differently. The most common thing I hear is there is a tingling feeling deep in the tissue -- somewhere in the groin area -- or in the mouth if you have it there."

"You can get it in your mouth?" Asked Gary.

"That's what Dmitri and his wife have." I offered.

"You can have both kinds in either place. Herpes II is more dangerous and in the case of someone who has an immunodeficiency, it can be fatal. They used to be pretty specific to one area or the other. Herpes II is also referred to as genital Herpes, because that was where it almost always showed up. But since the mid 90's, oral sex has become more regularly practiced, and so both strains have been showing up in both areas. The main thing is -- to be careful and realize when a breakout is imminent."

The doctor scribbled something on a prescription form. "Pick these up and start taking them immediately. And -- please contact anyone that you may have either contracted it from or -- given it to -- so they too can get the antibiotics -- and thereby avoid looking like some of those internet pictures."

"Thanks, Doc." Said Gary.

"Yeah -- thanks!" I said.

"You might want to get tested too."

"I haven't been intimate with anyone -- except my wife, who passed away ten years ago."

"Oh! Sorry."

"Where shall we go for dinner?" I said when we got to my truck.

"Can we just go back to your place and -- I really just want to go home." Said Gary.

When we were buckled in the truck, I turned to Gary. "Gary."

"What?" He said looking straight ahead.

"I don't think this is a good time for you to be alone."

He turned on me like a tiger. "Look! You're NOT my dad! BACK OFF!"

I felt I had been stabbed in the heart. I turned, stunned, and started the Avalanche. We drove in silence back to my house. We got out and he went directly to his car. As he got in, he said, "Please come for dinner tomorrow night."

I wanted to run to him, but restrained myself. "Thanks." I said. "I'll be there. 6:30. See yah." I tried to sound light.

"Yeah. Bye, Brian."

I was worried about him, but what could I do? I almost slumped into the house. Ronny was asleep on the couch. Omigosh! He had set a day aside to be with me and I abandoned him. I went and sat on the floor beside him. I put my arm around him. He opened his eyes, then blinked. "Hi." I said, repentantly.

"Hi -- oh! How's Gary?"

"He'll live. It's not as bad as we thought. I spared him the details, but told him about the Chlamydia. That got such a response that I gave him some further education -- as the doctor had instructed us.

"Sounds like a good case for abstinence." He said.

"Yeah, I suppose it does." I said, thinking about how - - and if - - I could live with someone with Herpes II. Then it hit me again -- good sense that is. I'd had one date -- well, no real date -- with him. How could I be thinking living with him."

Ronny and I watched a movie that he rented -- I have no idea what it was. My mind was not in the room anyway. By the time the movie was over, I had fallen asleep on Ronny's shoulder. I woke up when the credits were roiling.

"What happened?" I said.

"They all died." He said. That's our standard answer when one of us falls asleep.

We got up and padded down the hall toward our bedrooms. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sleep in your bed again -- tonight?"

"You're not gonna start coming in every night -- like you did when you were two-years-old -- are you?"

"I promise."

I was so glad to have Ronny next to me that long night. Again, about 2:00 I fell asleep. I was exhausted and just before going to sleep, I gave in to my emotions -- emotions my better judgment told me I shouldn't have - and started to quietly sob.

My sweet boy moved in behind me and put his arm around me. I fell into a dreamless sleep.

When I got home from work Wednesday, at 5:00 o'clock, my son met me at the door with a grin. "Guess what?"

"I haven't the slightest." I said.

"Gary called and invited me to dinner with you guys tonight."

"That's wonderful!" I said. I felt I knew why he did that: So there was little chance of being anything close to intimate. And no reason to feel awkward. I actually agree with that tactic.

When we got to Gary's condo -- in Cameron Park -- he hugged both of us and then offered us some hors d'oeuvres. I knew rumaki well. It was pieces of chicken liver wrapped in bacon, with a piece of water chestnut and marinated in soy sauce and brown sugar. They were better than I had ever had. Ronny loved them too.

Then he served us steak and gigantic shrimp that he had barbecued. It was early for strawberries, but we got a hint of them in the salad, and then he had split an angel food cake into 3 layers and put crushed strawberries between the layers and in the hole, then fresh whipped cream on top.

All three of us were sitting in the three lounge chairs he had set out, our abdomens stretched to their limits, our hands stretched over them and nearly asleep. When my boy did fall asleep, Gary got up and touched my hand. I followed him to another room.

We sat and he talked low, so as not to wake Ron. "Okay -- first of all, I want to thank you for coming to dinner tonight. You don't know what it means to me, after -- yesterday."

"Gary, Don't. I think - "

"Let me finish. Okay. Um - - !" He took a deep breath. "I don't want -- er -- I mean -- I can't -- SHIT! This is so hard! Please don't take this wrong. I have loved our short relationship. I'm having a very hard time dealing with this -- this -- medical problem. I -- just -- okay! <SIGH!> Look! When you leave tonight don't expect to see me any time soon. I need time to process all of this and -- to get myself clean -- if that's possible. "

"Nooooo -- Gary! I understand that - "

"Brian, I'm not your boy -- I'm 30-years-old and have a mind of my own and I have to do this my way."

"Yeah." I said, dejected. "I know that. It's just we were just - "

"Brian -- I really like you. That's why I don't want you putting yourself on ice -- or waiting for me in any way. Mostly -- go out and have fun. That's what I plan to do."

"Well, I guess we really don't know each - Wha -- at?" I said, unbelieving. "You're - "

"I'm not going to put myself on ice! I don't want to hurt you -- or Ronny -- I just can't!" Said Gary.

"Ronny? What's this got to do with - "

"I've seen the way you kiss your boy on the lips. And I support that between guys and their dads. My dad never did it, but -- I think I wish he did. I'm going to have to contact all the guys I've had sex with over the last year. You just keep kissing your boy, and go find guys to have fun with. I may or may not - " He looked from one eye to the other, and his eyes filled up. " -- I really like you -- but -- I have to do this my way -- BEFORE I get serious with anyone."

""Gary -- for the record -- I DON'T support the way you are approaching this. But I respect that you have to do it your way. I've done without sex for ten years -- I can go a little longer. If you - "

"But you see, Brian, I know ME. I could tell you that I will wait -- but -- in all likelihood -- I won't! I HAVEN'T done without for years. It was lovely meeting you and -- Ronny -- Gosh I like that kid! But this is the time to stop -- not later after we've gotten even more attached."

"Sorry." We both turned and Ronny was standing in the doorway.

"For what?" Said Gary.

"For conking out on you. I so didn't want to do that!"

"It's been a long day for all of us." I said

"Thanks for coming over, guys. I really loved having you." Said Gary, then looking directly at me, "Give me some time. Don't wait! And -- maybe we'll see each other around."

"Thanks for inviting me!" Said Ron. "I guess my dad will fill me in on the details."

"He has my permission!" Said Gary.

As soon as we were in the car, Ronny was all over me. "What happened. It seemed like he was breaking up with you -- and you -- you weren't going together -- were you?"

My silence told him that I was not really all that good with what happened. Ron turned on the radio -- so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable -- not talking. When we let ourselves in the door, Ron said, "For what it's worth -- I like him too."

I turned on him. "What is that supposed to mean?" I suppose I was too tired and too sensitive.

"Nothing, Dad. I just liked how he made you happy."

"I know." I said, coming to my bedroom door. As I went in, Ron said,

"I know that I promised not to make it a habit of wanting to sleep with you -- but -- maybe tonight -- you would like it."

"I would."

He was back in three minutes in his jams on and teeth brushed. I was still sitting on my bed, fully clothed. Ronny sat down at my feet and removed my shoes. "Remember I used to do this all the time when I was little?"

"Yeah. Your mother thought I was mean to make you do that."

"She did? Why?"

"I had stinky feet!"

"You were my dad. Nothing about you could stink. You still are. And your feet still don't stink -- to me." He started to take off a sock, then instead, started to rub my feet inside their socks. "Lay down, Dad." He said.

Ronny turned off the light and commenced giving me a most wonderful massage. He didn't come close to anything erotic, but just soothed my whole body. I was almost loopy when he finished off where he started -- with my feet. When he massaged them, something touched me deeply and my eyes just started to overflow. When he was finished he removed my socks.

I undid my pants and he pulled them off. "You don't mind of I just sleep in my skivvies -- do you?" I slurred.

"I don't care. They seem a little tight to me, but if that's what you want." I snaked my way into the sheets and Ronny followed, snuggling up behind me put his arm around me. I craned my face up to him and he kissed my lips. "What a lucky boy I am!" he said. "Night pop!"

What a lucky Dad I am!

The next day, I was kind of melancholy, but I kept thinking of how special last night was. I doubt that many dads have a son like Ron. That has to be a salute to his mother! I KNOW not many will cuddle with their dad when they are still 18. I'm not even sure it's appropriate for many. But it works for us.

When I got home from work, Ron had dinner ready and Hero and Trigger were tied up at the font door. He knew I would want a ride after dinner. "Where do I find a guy like you, Ronny?"

"You don't need one -- you got me!"

"I meant someone like you -- only gay!"

"He may come back, Dad. But I heard him tell you not to wait. Tomorrow nigh is Friday night. We're going back to that juice bar."

"You can't do that! You need to be with Chanelle!" I protested.

"She's coming too."

"What?! I thought you didn't want to tell her -- yet."

"That was last week. A lot can happen in a week."

"Is she -- um -- ready to see your dad freaking flirting -- with other guys?"

"She knows about you and -- she knows about that bar."

Friday flew by -- way too fast! Before I knew it, we were at the door of the bar. I hesitated.

"We don't have to go in, dad. I really think you'll be pleased -- if you do."

I started to back away from the bar, then realized that Ronny was just using some reverse psychology on me. I smiled and stepped up to and pushed open the door. My eyes flew to one chair at the bar. It was occupied by - - Gary. Our eyes met. I felt like throwing up. I headed for the bathroom. I got in there, and unzipped, not sure if anything would come out of me. It did. I heard the door squeak open and heard footsteps coming up behind me. I was at the furthest urinal from the door out of four. He came to the one right next to mine. De Ja vu! But it wasn't Chris, it was Gary.

"Hi." He said. I didn't know quite what to say. I wanted to tell him to go to hell. "I had to come here tonight -- to tell some of the guys I have -- done -- what's going on." I didn't respond so he continued. "I'm glad you came tonight. I've missed you."

"You've missed me?" I said sarcastically.

"Of course! I know you're new to this scene, but it can't have changed all that much since - "

"Since -- never. I married the girl next door! I don't mind telling you -- I guess -- it hurt -- probably my pride more than anything else -- to see you out there schmoozing someone else."

"Look, Brian, I am sorry that you took it that way. It's not what it looks like. First of all, I told you that - "

Two more guys came into the men's room and occupied the remaining urinals. "Can we talk outside?" He asked.

I followed him out and caught Ron's eye. He was dancing with Chanelle. He gave me the thumbs up. I shook my head.

Gary led me out and around a corner -- where we had complete privacy -- because the shadow was deep. It was nearly pitch black between the two buildings. "Okay -- Brian, first of all, I want to -- um -- I don't quite know how to say this. Um -- okay -- this place is my territory.

"I told you that I'm not going to put myself on ice. I recommended that you do the same. But I have a plan. I have -- had varying degrees of -- erm -- relationships with a lot of guys -- several of them right in that room! If Raul had just died or something, I think it would have been different. But he didn't. He's still out there. I was very, VERY hurt, at first and -- being 28, and with very little experience -- other than Raul -- I went whole hog to prove something -- to myself, at least: that I could have any guy I wanted.

"But all I wanted was Raul. That's why I bedded nearly every guy that frequents this place. Now -- I need to talk to every one of them -- and most of them are pretty decent guys -- to tell then that I may have given them Herpes or Chlamydia.

"And until I am clear of at least the Chlamydia, I don't want to take any chance to give it to you."

"I told you I'd wait."

"I don't want you to. I feel guilty enough as it is. My own promiscuity got me into this."

"I don't know anyone in this alley who is promiscuous." I said. "I just don't see why we can't -- "

"Brian -- do you know what I did Wednesday night -- after you left?"

"I know what I did." I said.

"I sat down and cried my eyes out." Said Gary.

"Good!" I said.

"Well!" He said, then continued. "I guess I deserved that."

"No -- you didn't!" I said. "I said that because that's exactly what I did. Can't you see we're on the same page?"

"Except that you're clean and -- I'm just not."

My eyes were adjusting to the darkness but all I could see were his eyes shining. I reached up and wiped some wetness from his cheek. "We came so close, Bri!" He whispered. I stepped up to him and kissed his partially open mouth. He took a deep breath and then kissed me back.

"That'll give me something to dream about." He said.

"Gary -- I know about Herpes, and now I know about Chlamydia. Chlamydia is completely curable with - "

"I know -- with antibiotics. Herpes II isn't so forgiving. I know some doctors say that as long as there is no open sore, it's - "

"I HAVE herpes, Gary! It's herpes I, and it's not genital, but I believe it's the same when -- Gary, I know that you can feel it coming on long before it becomes contagious. I know it!" I said.

"Good -- I hope to know it too -- and soon. Until then - "

"Until then, we can just not do anything -- and when - " I felt desperate. I KNOW I was coming across that way.

Gary backed up to the wall and slid down on the ground. I could almost hear his jaw setting. "Brian -- I have to do this MY way. I'm sorry, but that's the only thing that will work for me."

"Then I am sad." I said. "I know we've known each other just barely a week. I was hoping that your way could include me."

I walked away, leaving him sitting on the ground.

"What's up, Pop?" Ronny said when I rejoined him and Chanelle.

"This is Gary's turf. I need to go somewhere else."

"Gary doesn't own - "

"Not for him!" I said. "I can't be here."

"Well, then let's go to - "

"You kids go do something fun. I don't need you to hold my hand."

"Dad -- we -- I -- don't mind - "

I smiled as sweetly as I could and reiterated, "I don't WANT you to hold my hand. I'll see you at home later, Ronny. Thanks for coming with us, Chanelle."

"Nice to see you, Mr. Weber. Thank you for letting me come with you tonight. I hope you have a nice time."

"Okay, Dad. See you at home." I started to walk toward the door. I expected them to follow me out, but they went back in and sat down at a table. I was anticipating meeting Gary on my way out. I didn't. I fought to stay away from the alley where I left him. I wondered if he was still sitting on the ground there. I wondered if I was too hard on him.

I drove aimlessly for awhile, then headed down to 20th and K Streets in Sacramento. I had read about several gay clubs there, and I parked and went to Faces, a multi-media gay meeting place.

After paying a modest cover charge, I passed a karaoke bar on my left and a quiet bar with a pool table on the right, and went back to a dance floor -- where they were playing country and western music and cowboys were dancing with cowboys.

I stood for less than a minute. "You're new here." Said a very soft, bass voice.

I turned and looked into black eyes. "Yes. I've heard about this place for years."

"They've just remodeled. Have you seen the pool?" He smiled slightly, showing smile lines at his eyes.

"They have a pool?"

"Out back." He seemed to take a closer look at me. He smiled again. "You don't look like a cowboy."

"I don't own any cows, either." I replied, smirking. "But I do have s couple of horses."

"You're joking!"

"Nope!" "I wonder if any of those boys on the dance floor can even ride a horse!" He laughed.

I took an up and down inspection of him. "Um -- YOU don't look much like a cowboy either!"

What he did look like was an Arab. I instinctively wondered if he was a Muslim. As I said, he has black eyes and dark skin. His hair is curly and long. His age is up for grabs -- but he's definitely not a child. I doubt he's older than I am. He had a middle eastern accent with a definite British twang. "Your accent tells me you're from the middle east."

"Yes. I am a Persian."

"Oh!" I knew exactly where he was coming from, and he got that I got it:

"Yes -- from Iran."

I never was good at hiding my reactions. At least I didn't take a step back. But I felt my eyes widen. "It must be hard -- being gay and -- Iranian."

Oh my gosh! What if he ISN'T gay!

"It's why I am here. Back there, it is an immediate death sentence." He said, lowering his voice.

"What?" I said. The music was very loud.

"Follow me."

He led me out to the pool area. "I came over here to escape certain death. Some of the younger people are rebelling against the tyranny, but -- well -- I'm not that brave. I want to live." He had a very soothing and kind voice.

The light was brighter by the pool, and I was able to see his handsome face better. His eyes are a deep blue, and his hair dark brown. He has a dark shadow on his lower face, where he probably had shaved earlier.

I extended my hand. "I'm Brian."

He shook my hand and replied, "My name is Muhammad, but friends call me Mo." He looked deeply into my eyes. "Please call me Mo."

His voice was soft and almost velvety. I felt something deep within me respond to his warmth. I smiled and said, "Nice to meet you Mo."

"Have you been across the street to the 21 club?" He asked.

"No -- this is my first time anywhere here."

"Would you like to check it out?"

"Why not?" I asked.

After showing our I.D. Mo led me through the bar to the back. In the back there are some pool table and -- another bar -- and -- the feature I was to learn Mo liked about this bar.

He led me to a far corner and put some quarters in a box, and retrieved some darts! "This reminds me of my years in Liverpool. All pubs have dart boards." He handed me the darts. "You first."

We enjoyed the game and the newfound camaraderie. I was very intrigued by this darkly handsome man. Just as I was wondering what I could do to show I was more than mildly interested in becoming -- maybe -- more than casual friend, he said, "I like you -- a lot! I wish my partner, Stan, was here. He is not as outgoing as I am, but I know he would also like you. Maybe we can get together some time.

I recovered quickly this time and said, "That would be super. Why don't the two of you come up to Placerville. There's a country juice bar there and - "

"Yes, I know it. I met this fascinating young man there. I even dated him a couple times before he dropped me. Then Stan came into my life. But I'd love to see how Gary is doing."

After my initial shock, I told him that I know Gary. "Wow!" He said, "It is a small world!"

"Yeah. Um -- did you have -- I mean -- um -- maybe you should call him. He wants to maybe talk to you."

"That was a curious statement. What would he want to talk to me about?"

"I -- think that he should tell you. It's not my place. But -- I can assure you it's very important."

"You are a mysterious man, Brian. I'm afraid that I have lost his contact info."

I got out my new blackberry phone that Rinny convinced me I needed and punched Gary's number, and handed it to Mo. "Hello. No this isn't Bri. It's Mo. Mo -- you know -- Mo Zarindast. Yes. Oh I am pleased you remembered. Yes -- well, he's here with me. Yes. He mysteriously told me that you might want to talk to me. Okay." Mo handed me the phone. "He want's to talk to you."

"Hi." I said.

"Good one, Bri. You got me twice in one night."

"Gary, I wasn't trying to - "

"Well, put your mind as ease -- we didn't have sex -- of any kind. That's why I moved on. You can tell him if you want -- why I might have wanted to talk to him. No, on second thought, let me talk to him again."

I handed the phone back to Mo. He talked a few minutes. It was obvious that Gary explained the situation to him. Mo handed me the phone back. I started to speak. "He has disconnected." Said Mo. His voice was mesmerizing.

I stowed my phone and Mo said, "Gary speaks very highly of you. He told me to take good care of you. He must like you a lot. I could hear that in his voice."

"You -- you could?"

"There was much reverence in his voice as he spoke of you. You must be someone special to him."

"Mo, something about you is almost spooky to me."

"And why is that?" He asked in his smooth as silk tone.

"You seem to -- um -- be super in tune with -- people -- or something."

"I hope that it does not make you too uncomfortable. I like you -- a lot." He said, seeming to just accept what I said as truth.

"But you hardly know me."

"I have been taught to be a very good judge of character, Brian."

"Taught? Were you in law enforcement or something?"

"It is something I prefer not to speak of. It was long ago when I lived in a place that is centuries behind in technology and all other advanced civilization. I prefer to forget - "

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"I prefer to forget it, but -- it seems to rear its ugly head whenever I want to -- get close to someone."

"It's okay. Really -- I don't need to know."

"That is probably true, but -- in time -- if we become friends, I will need to tell you -- to deepen our friendship. Too many friendships have been sabotaged by secrets." He placed his hand gently on my cheek. "I hope that we will become better acquainted, but I must go now. I have an early day tomorrow. Actually Sabbath has already started. May I give you my phone number -- and hope for a call from you?"

I keyed Mo's number into my blackberry. It didn't escape me that he didn't just assume I wanted to give out my number -- as most do. I asked him if he wanted mine.

"I would be honored if you gave it to me." He said, gratefully. I gave mine to him and he said good bye. "I hope that you have a nice evening, my new friend. I will be anxious to speak to my partner of you."

I waved and he walked out of the club. I felt alone. I looked all around and there were lots of others talking, and playing pool and -- dancing.

"You finished with them darts?" Asked a young butch looking girl, coarsely. I blankly handed them to her and retraced the steps that Mo had taken out of the bar. I looked both ways, hoping -- but he was nowhere to be seen. I walked back across to the Faces place and re-entered, showing my stamped hand.

I had avoided the karaoke and the bar on my first walk through, so I went to my right into the quieter bar this time. There were a couple of video screens with sexy guys dancing or talking, and a few people sitting at the bar and the high bar tables. Two guys were playing pool. I could see a smoking patio, where some others were gathered.

Someone walked in from the other side of the bar. "Hey, Nicky!" said the bar tender. The bar tender was tall and well built, with a silver colored flat top and an intelligent face. Nicky came and sat down close to where I was standing.

"Hi Randy." Said Nicky. "Gimme my usual."

Randy mixed up some concoction and as he put it in front of Nicky, he looked at me. "What can I get you, pal?"

"A Pepsi would be fine."

"Coke okay?" I nodded. Nicky turned around.

"You're new here. You from out of town?"

"Not very far. Placerville."

"Oh! Well -- you look a little lost, I guess."

"I guess I am. This is kinda new to me."

He patted the stool next to him. "Sit!" He said, but it was obvious that for him, this was an invitation. I sat next to him.

He stood and even standing he was barely my height, sitting. "I'm Brian." I said, extending my hand.

"Nick -- Nick Waterfield." He said, tilting a little too much in my direction. He smelled of alcohol. What brings you down to the flatlands?"

Besides the pungent breath, I noticed his thin hair, cropped short, and he had a nice five o'clock shadow going on. That made my nether parts tingle a bit. I noticed this and smiled to myself. A year ago I wouldn't have allowed that to happen, much less enjoy it as I was now. I could also see that his shirt and jeans -- though clean and neatly pressed -- were getting threadbare.

"I got tired of the teeny-bopper juice bar up there -- which is the only place to go to meet other -- guys." Well, that wasn't altogether false. "I looked this place up on the internet." I said. Which was also true, although it was at least a year ago that I did that. I even cruised by it after work one day, but as Ronny was still 17 and in school, I opted to wait.

"I don't get that far away from home!" Said Nick. "If I can't walk -- I stay away. Even this is a little ways to walk, but my brother-in-law dropped me off. I'll walk home though!"

"Oh! You -- I mean -- can I drop you off?" I said, immediately regretting it, and almost praying that he would decline. That was NOT my brain talking. It was my gonads! The little drunk was turning me on! I didn't want to go home with him!

"Naw -- I'll pass. I'm not gay -- and I like to walk. I just like the people that come in here." He said. "They're mostly - non-judgmental!"

"Too bad -- that you're not gay!" I quipped. "I've no doubt you've fooled lots of guys!" I laughed.

"Horny guys!" He laughed.

"What are you looking for, Pal?" Said the bartender.

"Just some interesting conversation, I guess." Now that was mostly a lie. I was pretty horny.

Randy looked me up and down. "I own the place across the street. I just come over here sometimes to tend bar. You may find some more stimulating - " He stopped and looked at Nick, who seemed somewhere else for the moment. "Well, you may like it over there."

"You mean. Club 21? I was there."

"No, across the other way. We have a grill there too."

"Thanks. I may try it out." I said. "I think I'm just gonna drive home tonight." With that, I set down my half drank Coke and said good bye to Randy and Nick.

"Drive carefully!" said Randy.

"And -- try to hone your gaydar!" laughed Nick.

I stopped and bought an energy drink to keep me more alert during the 45 minute drive home. I laughed at myself, for letting my gonads get the best of me and hitting on a straight guy. I felt haunted by my interesting interlude with a very handsome Persian. I found myself wishing that he didn't have a partner.

It was nearing 2:00 AM when I pulled into my driveway. My eyes were getting blurry, but not so blurry that I could not recognize a familiar car next to me house. I parked and walked over and tapped on the widow, waking him up.

"Oh -- Brian!" He said, forcing himself to blink awake. "What time is it?"

"Almost two. How long have you been here, Gary?"

Notes: Okay, don't be too put off by yet another cliff hanger. Let me introduce myself: I'm Steve Thomas -- and I'm a cliff-hanger-a-holic! I can truly tell you that I have no idea where this is going next. That's what makes it fun for me. I do hope that you like it too. Comments are always appreciated and so far at least, I have been able to answer them all. Send them to: Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks again and ... love, Steve