Outing For Brian

Outing for Brian – Chapter 23

This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind of story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!

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Cast of characters:

Brian Weber -- That's me! Deena -- my wife (Deceased) Ronny -- my son. Gary Foosdorf -- My Sweetheart – (deceased) Dmitri Polczek-- Neighbor Ericka -- Dmitri's wife Alexandra -- Dmitri's daughter Muhammad Zarindast – Friend Stan -- Muhammad's Afghan hound. Mick Azerov – 26-year-old American Freedom Contender Keyvan & Sohrab -- Persian wards, adults now. Michelle – Mo's wife and Keyvan & Sohrab's sister Colin -- Gary's cousin Jake -- Colin's husband Uri -- Colin's and Jake's son Ursula -- Colon's and Jake's daughter Liv (Olivia) -- Uri and Ursula's Mother Chris -- Jakes Cousin Craig -- Chris's partner Seth -- Chris's brother Luke -- Seth's partner Ashtad – Mo's cousin Emily -- Ronny's wife "Little" Brian -- Ronny's son – MY grandson! Jack Smith-Crayson -- Next-Door neighbor Ryan Crayson-Smith – Jack's Partner

From chapter 22:

We had a good talk, as he showed me realities that I could easily see, but that my emotions at the time were not quite dealing with realistically. When we were finished, Luke was gone.

"He often leaves well into my time in there, as he gets that he's not – needed." He said. "It's pretty late. Let's go to bed. Um – would you like to come in with us?"

"I – I'm okay, thanks." I said, thinking that these guys did things differently than out in California! "I think I'll be fine sleeping by myself. I've kind of gotten used to it."

"Okay. Dream safe!" He said, smiling knowingly.

And I did dream safe. I maybe didn't sleep as soundly as I might have otherwise; but that little admonition kept me aware that it was only a dream. It was pretty bizarre, though!

Chapter 23

"No, Saaby! You know that it's not okay to sleep with me!"

"But Poppy! I love you. Don't you know that?"

Saaby is a very handsome Persian! In the back of my mind it occurred to me that this was only a dream – why not let him have his way?

Just then my bedroom door opened and Ashtad was standing there, stark naked, looking hurt at the two of us. I was about to say something and Ash was in my arms instead of Saaby and Saab was at the door looking hurt.

"Seth – help." I said quietly, so as to not awaken anyone else. "What's the matter, Bri?" he said. I looked into his dreamy purple eyes.

Purple eyes?!! NO!! I woke myself up, breathing quickly. I looked around and after realizing that I was still in Seth and Luke's guest room, in bed – alone – I took a deep breath and sighed quietly. I thought to myself, "Wow! Gary wasn't there! That's a first." Then it occurred to me that I had awoken myself. Maybe he would have been in it if I'd stayed asleep.

"No, Sweetheart. I won't be around any longer. You've proven that you loved me long ago." I was dumbstruck. I could not say anything – even knowing it was not real – was it? "Don't worry about it, Brian. I'll wait for you. But you don't have to wait for me. No one there is expected to live alone – without some – One – to love. I don't even understand it myself. I just know it's true. I DO understand that I love you more than any human could there." I wanted to say something, but could not. "Just believe that it all works out – every time – if love rules your life there – it will continue to here. Good Bye my sweet Bri."

I woke up – this time for real. I knew he was gone and that life goes on.

"I know, Brian," said Seth, "I've heard versions of that story many times. Some psychologists will try to tell us that it is just a way that our mind deals with a situation. I really do believe that there is life after this and when we are hurting, we can get messages from those we love who have gone before us. It's the very reason that I am still alive now. My Brian - " Seth got a faraway look and half smiled.

"Y – your Brian?" I said.

"Yes – I think I told you about the doctor that I was in love with before I let myself fall off the Cliff."

"Oh yeah. I don't think that you told me that his name was Brian. I would have remembered that."

Seth grabbed Luke's hand. His eyes got glassy as he said; "I can't help thinking of him when you are around. I suppose it is probably your name – mostly – but you are like him in some ways."

"Isn't Bri about the same age as your Brian was?" Said Luke, understandingly.

""Actually, Bri is a bit older."

I felt a deep surge of love for Seth, and looking at both their hands clasped, I could feel the love between them. Of course the back of my mind lived the memory of when he told me that he was very attracted to me. Another thought or rather it was a feeling occurred to me – that I was free to love again. In my mind I knew this was true but now I knew it in my spirit.

As we were talking, Jack burst in the door without knocking. He looked wild. "Seth – Luke, please come! Ryan is in an ambulance headed for the emergency room. Please, I don't want to be alone!"

"Of course, Jack." They all ran out the front door together.

I only had half a moment to feel sorry for myself, when Jack stuck his head in the door. "Would – er - could you come too, Bri?"

The hospital was quite busy, but apparently the name Ryan Crayson had pull. Everyone also seemed to know Seth. As we were talking about this and that, Luke said, "I wonder if Ryan might respond or have any desire to go surfing with me."

We all looked at him like he was crazy. He seemed to communicate silently with Seth. "You know Jack, he wouldn't have to surf the big waves. Said Seth. " I wonder if Luke has something. He needs to get away – away from his everyday life – and just – just – not think about himself so much."

It was interesting to me that rather than sit around and worry about this man in the emergency room Seth and Luke were trying to come up with ways to get him well, or at least make him feel better. There was nothing we could do while he was in the emergency room with his doctor. So, why not do something creative.

"Mr. Smith-Crayson?" Said the nurse sweetly. "You may go in and see him."

Jack started for the door. Seth said, "Jack?" Jack turned. Seth continued, "Don't say anything to Ryan about surfing. Let me do that."

"Great idea!"

It turned out that this hospital excursion wasn't any different than the last five times they came in. They gave Ryan a sedative and sent us home. I felt extremely guilty for my initial thoughts – or it was more feelings - and decided that I should not be seeing Jack alone anytime soon.

"Hello?" I said the next morning.

"Is this Brian?"

"Excuse me, but who is this?" I said.

"Guy!"

"Obviously it's a guy. I don't think I wanna meet a girl who sounds like - "

"No, my name is – Guy. We met at the party on the 4th!"

"Ooohh! Yeeaahh. Guy! Um, I can see your number here – can I call you back – I'm right in the middle of something. I'll call back!"

"O - " click!

"Umm – apparently this is a – guy – um, named - - Guy. Says we met at the party. Anyone you know?" I asked Seth.

"Hmm – well, he's been hanging around for a long time. He's harmless, actually. He used to be pretty hot looking, and years ago when Ryan dated him, he was a bit of a player. He's mellowed over the years. Only been with two other guys that I know of. He's still a pretty good lookin' dude. I guess he's free again!" said Seth, winking at his lover. "And – you don't remember him, Bri?"

"It may have been someone I met in passing – just before I came home. I had a bit of a buzz on, I think. A couple of those virgin Mai tais maybe weren't as virgin as I thought. Oh yes! It WAS while I was leaving! The name just didn't register. I better call him back – don't want to be rude."

"I wouldn't worry too much. He's used to rejection!" said Luke, none too sympathetically, as I punched recall.

"Hello? Oh! Brian! You actually called back!"

"You didn't think I'd call back?"

"It wouldn't be the first time!"

"Well, I'm just not that kind of boy."

Did I just FLIRT with him??!

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything too important. What were you - ?"

(Is this the way it's gonna be?) "I was just finishing up taking a crap, if you must know!"

"Sorry. I deserved that! Jake said that you were only here for the weekend, but that I should call anyway. He gave me your number."

Word gets around fast! So Jake thinks he's safe too.

"Actually I've decided to stay a little longer. Colin's my – husband's – cousin."

"Oh. So – you're married? But, then why did Jake - "

"He passed away some time ago." I looked at Seth, who was nodding his head yes, while at the same time Luke was shaking his, no. "You only live once!"

"What?" Said Guy.

"Did I say that aloud?" I exclaimed, and then humiliated myself even more ... I giggled! "Uhhm – did you maybe want to – talk sometime – maybe, um – like – um – a date?" I asked.

So?! I've just been jilted! Whaddaya expect?

"Uhmm – well, um – that's kinda – um why I was calling!"

Then I laughed. "Don'tcha hate it when someone beats you to the punch?" and danged if I didn't giggle again! How am I ever gonna meet this guy face to face?!

"Not this time! When and where?" He asked.

"Okay, now I'm gonna have to call you back again after I see what these guys have planned for me. It won't be more than a few minutes." After goodbyes, I asked Seth and Luke, "Whaddaya think?"

"I think - " started Luke with a scowl.

"I think we should let you decide for yourself!" Said Seth, and looking at Luke, "Babe, that was a long time ago – if not more. Jack needed our assistance. I think Brian is his own man. Guy has mellowed a lot with age. Even Jack made up his own mind – and if he had chosen Guy, then he couldn't have been all he's been to Ryan, Rye and Ranee."

"I guess." Conceded Luke. "I guess you're a big boy, Bri." His deep purple eyes showed his regret at being too judgmental.

"I told this guy, Guy that I'd call back in a few minutes. Maybe we should call Colin and see what they have planned?"

"Colin's not here at the moment. You could call on his cell phone, but what's up?" said Jake. I found in our last visit that the Smith clan have no secrets – and apparently no sense of boundary.

"I just wondered if – I mean, well you told Guy to call me. I don't have THAT much time here, what - ?"

"We surely won't be doing anything that couldn't include Guy. But I'll let Colin talk to you about that. Do you know his cell number?" He said and without an answer, he said, "I'll text it to you. And tell Luke to chill!" he said laughing. I laughed.

"What'd he say?" Asked Seth.

"He said to call Colin. Oh, there's his text. Oh, and he said to tell Luke to chill."

"He knows Luke too well!" Said Seth. "They all do! I think it's one of the reasons Luke needs to get away sometimes." He said, laughing as well. Luke just looked at Seth like there couldn't be anyone finer than this man – for him.

"There really are several of us here – Denny, Colin, Seth's own brother, Chris – that would never do anything if those other monkeys didn't push us! We love it, though!" Said Luke.

"Hi Cuz." I said, recognizing the number that Jake just sent.

"Jake said to call you."

"Thanks. Did he tell you why - "

"Of course. Guy's quite welcome anywhere with us." Said Colin. "Seth was telling me that you guys might be going down to Manasquan to surf?"

I was nonplussed. Word spreads like lightning here. "Seth want's to talk to you," I said, as Seth was waving his hands around.

"Hi Colin," said Seth. "Look, I haven't talked to Ryan yet, and – yeah, it was Luke's idea, but anyway, don't say anything to anyone else just yet. Have you told Jake?" "Shit – sorry. It's just – can you? Okay I won't wait any longer. Well, yeah, but I'm not too sure how long Bri can stay. I'll let you know. Oh, um – if we go do you wanna go too?" "Oh yeah – that!" He said, smiling. "Me too! Okay, I'll talk to you later."

After ending the call, Seth said, "Luckily he hasn't told Jake yet. I swear, I should have my head examined! Anyway, Call Guy back and make whatever plans, and if we decide to go down to Manasquan, you can decide if that works for you."

"Hi Guy. So, I guess we're in free fall here. What did you have in mind?"

"You like to bowl?

"You like to get beat?"

"Oh ho ho! You're on! And since it's a first date, maybe you can gather up another couple we can team up with?"

I muted the phone. "You guys wanna go bowling tonight?"

"We don't bowl!" "We don't bowl!" they said at once.

"Wow! Oke-Kay then!" I said.

"Luke, um - " started Seth.

"I don't like to lose – and at that game I never win! You wanna see surly?"

I unmuted and said to Guy, "Seth and Luke have other plans."

"I know that Jake and Colin like to bowl! One way or the other, lets get together tonight, k?"

"Sounds good."

"Pick you up at – say – 6:30-ish? I'll call Jake. He's all over ANY contest!"

"Livvy's got some brunch ready and on the table." Said Seth. You guys go ahead. I told Ryan I'd check in on him after he woke up this morning. I'll be back."

Livvy handed his an egg sandwich and some coffee as he headed out the door. Luke smiled approvingly at her.

"Hey," said Guy, on my phone.

"Mm, yeah! Um – oh! Sorry, I took a nap after brunch. Didn't sleep to good last night."

"Oh sorry if I woke you!"

"It's okay, I had to wake up to get the phone!"

"What – oh! Heh. Anyway, Jake and Colin are game for tonight!"

"Oh – um – good! Sorry – kinda groggy. So, 6:30, right?"

"Yeah. See yah!"

As soon as I hung up, I lay down again, there was a slight knock at my bedroom door. "Come on in!" I said

"Hi," Said Luke. "Um – Seth wanted me to ask you. Would it be too late to add two more to your bowling party?"

I was surprised after earlier this morning! "Of course, have a change of mind?"

"No way! But when Seth talked to Ryan about surfing down the coast, he was so excited that Seth asked him if he was up for bowling tonight. He said yes, so he and Jack will be there!

"Absolutely! I haven't seen Ryan since I was here last. It'd be great!"

"Good! Omigosh, if Seth and I had to go – well, I owe you one!"

(I'd like to collect one from him!)

"Good, I'll call Guy back."

"Oh, and be prepared for the worst. Ryan doesn't look the same."

"No shit?" Said Guy. "This is great! I'll call the alley and tell then it'll be a group."

At 6:30 sharp, came a knock at the door. I opened it and Guy stepped in, all smiles. "Our little party has grown! Rob and Denny will be coming too. That'll make two foursomes!"

"Really?" Exclaimed Seth. He turned to Luke, who looked like a deer in the headlights. "Please Luke. We don't have to play!" We can cheer for whatever team Jack and Ryan are on."

"Great idea!" Said Guy. You can cheer for Ryan's team and Luke can cheer for Jack's team."

"No!" Said Seth, emphatically. "This is your party, Guy, but please make sure Ryan and Jack end up on the same team. They need that!"

"Okay, no prob! Let's jamb!" Said Guy. "The Bowling alley makes a pretty amazing burger and – even hot dogs – if you're into such things.

Jake had brought his dad's escalade. It carries 8, but Seth and Luke drove separately, so if Ryan needed to come home it wouldn't break up the party. They picked up Jack and Ryan.

It was decided ahead of time that if Ryan got too tired, someone from the other team would join the twosome. Ryan looked - well, completely worn out and he did get tired, but refused to leave, so we didn't play maybe as long as we might have. That worked. Luke, Seth, Jack and I were pretty tired from our hospital jaunt. Seth and Luke went into the house immediately. Guy and I sat on a settee on the front porch. "I really – enjoyed that!" Said Guy.

"It was fun!" I said, "Totally not what I expected in a first date!"

"What – were you expecting?" He said, grinning.

"Well, for one. I expect – or rather want – another date." I said and closed the gap between us. I was surprised at how chaste his kiss was. He was a perfect gentleman.

"Don't take that wrong. I know what Luke thinks of me. We'll go slow."

"Heh. It's not as if we have a lot of time." I said, knowing well, that in my tired state, my eyes looked dreamy.

"We'll take it from here next time, huh?" and he pecked me again and got up and ran to his car, in front of Jake and Colin's mansion.

I stood and watched as he went around the cul-du-sac. He waved as he drove his vintage "Z" to the gate. I opened the door and watched as the gate closed, then turned and Seth and Luke were sitting in the living room.

"So, it was like that huh?" Said Luke almost accusingly.

"He was really nice!" I said. "He reminded me a little too much of Gary. But wow! A perfect gentleman."

"He's getting you ready for the kill!" Said Luke.

"Oh, stop, Luka! I think Bri can handle Guy."

"I can!" I said. I giggled. "At least I want to! I was the one to kiss him!"

"We have something else to talk to you about."

"Luke you're worrying too much." I laughed.

"No, this is different." Said Seth. "Can you surf?"

"You mean like, the web?"

"No, on a surf board." Said Seth.

"He's a California boy!" Said Luke, "Of course he surfs!"

"Placerville is 100 miles inland. I tried it once down in southern Cal., at Bolsa Chica Beach, surfing some very small waves that break up the estuary to the Long Beach Marina. It was nice long ride, but not much of a challenge. I got up the first time!

"Just the fact that you got up – and stayed up - means you are apt to be good at it. Said Luke, excitedly.

"My age - "

" - means nothing! I can see you're in good shape."

"VERRY good shape!" Quipped Seth.

"Shut up!" replied Luke, his eyes sparkling. "It'll be a piece-a'cake in the smaller surf. Later in the afternoon, I'll show you some larger waves!" Luke became more animated as he talked!

"It'll be nice to have someone else to surf with – at least until you get your surfing legs on." Said Seth. I grew up 20 minutes from a surfing beach and I suck at it bad!"

"Yeah, but there are other things that you suck very well!" Joked Luke.

"Yeah," Seth said, "other things to be - "

"Seth – tell him!"

"While bowling, I talked to Ryan – a lot. Can you stay until next weekend? We're going down to Manasquan Inlet in Jersey." Said Seth.

"It's pretty fun," continued Luke, "because the waves come in left to right, both for the seasoned surfers and closer to the jetty, for the less aggressive. Actually, even for the more experienced surfers, it's a bit of a challenge at first, being used to always coming relatively straight in to the beach. But for beginners, it wouldn't matter." Luke's eyes did a dance of their own while talking about surfing.

"Hi Ronny. It looks like I'll be staying a little longer than planned."

"Oho! You've met someone, haven't you?" His smile was all over his voice.

"Well, actually I did date a guy last night – sort of. It was a group – bowling – but we were a couple there."

"Did you kiss him?"

"None of your business!" I said.

"HAH! You DID!"

"No big deal. It was a peck at the door. Anyway, I'm going surfing down in New Jersey with Seth and Luke, and their next-door neighbors. I'll be a kind of 5th wheel, but they want me to come, and I don't mind."

"So this `guy' won't be going?"

"Funny you should say it that way. His name is Guy. But no, he hasn't been invited."

"Do you think you could?"

"Could what?" I inquired.

"Pay attention, Pop! Do you think you could ask him to go with you to Jersey?"

"Naw, I'll be surfing some small waves with Seth, while Luke takes on the treacherous ones down the beach. I'm not sure the expertise of Jack and Ryan."

"Treacherous?"

"Yeah, they're supposed to be quite dangerous for the average surfer."

"Uh-huh. And it would be awkward to have another guy with you, huh? I'd think it'd be awkward to be alone with Seth. As I remember, you were pretty taken by him last time we were there."

"Ronny – don't worry about your old man! I'll be good! Wish you could be here."

"You know that's not possible, Pop. And anyway, - really?!! With a bunch of poofs?"

"Yeah – I know how you get around us. You and Mick were very close down in your bedroom – to say nothing about the way you and Gary played grab-ass!"

"Sorry Dad, I was only joking." He said, decidedly ignoring my jesting. "You know I'd love to be there! Have a great time. I love you!"

"Love you too, Ron. Give my love to my favorite grandbaby and of course Emily. Bye."

I went out with Guy twice more before Jersey. We were developing a very comfortable rapport. He was a great kisser and it was obvious that we both had some excitement going on in the lower regions, but we didn't go there – yet!

The day before we flew, Seth said, "OH CRAP!" setting his phone on the breakfast table.

"What?" Said Luke, concerned.

Seth got watery eyes and said, "I can't go tomorrow."

"What?!" We both said.

"Why?" said Luke looking a bit angry.

"We're having an emergency with Rollie – the boy who - "

"I KNOW who Rollie is! Can't someone else - "

Seth got up and knelt by Luke, face to face. "You know that he will only respond to me. We've come so far, and I don't want to go backward any more than is necessary."

"But Seth, we have to have a life!" Said Luke angrily. "If we were on a trip to Europe or something, what would they do?"

"They'd have to get by. But we're NOT on a trip to Europe. Please don't be angry with me. Someday, I'll retire too, but for now, I need to do this."

"Hrmf!" said Luke. "Even when you do retire, we'll have to move to Hawaii, just to get you away from all this!" He pouted.

Seth smiled tiredly. "And that would be horrible, wouldn't it? We'll talk about this later. I gotta go!" He got up, and kissed his lover rather passionately, under the circumstances. As he was leaving, he turned. "Oh! Bri! I'm sorry to leave like this! Hey! Maybe you'd like to ask Guy to go down to Jersey!"

Notes: Are they ready for a trip together? Am I?? This may get interesting, what with "staying the night" and all! We'll see. Thanks for your continued letters. It's what I survive on! J