Outing for Brian, Chapter 20
This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Brian Weber -- That's me! Deena -- my wife (Deceased) Ronny -- my son. Gary Foosdorf -- My Sweetheart Dmitri Polczek-- Neighbor Ericka -- Dmitri's wife Alexandra -- Dmitri's daughter Muhammad Zarindast – Friend Stan -- Muhammad's Afghan hound. Mick Azerov – 26-year-old American Freedom Contender Keyvan & Sohrab -- Persian wards. Michele – Mo's wife and Keyvan & Sohrab's sister Colin -- Gary's cousin Jake -- Colin's husband Uri -- Colin's and Jake's son Ursula -- Colon's and Jake's daughter Liv (Olivia) - Uri and Ursula's Mother Chris -- Jakes Cousin Craig -- Chris's partner Seth -- Chris's brother Luke -- Seth's partner
Author's note:
Okay, many of you have written to me and told me that you actually LIKE sappy, corny and cheesy! What can I say, except - So do I!
From chapter 19:
We returned to Salt Lake city several shades darker than we left it. Gary looked so hot with his suntanned face and body!
Our last night in Salt Lake City, we relaxed. Nothing but laying around the hotel room, pool and spa, watching some pay per view on the TV, and trying to imitate what the porn-studs were doing, but finally giving up and doing our much wilder version. We were up early the next morning, drove to the airport, turned in our convertible and arrived back at Sacramento International, picked up by Ronny and Mick in my Avalanche.
The boys were all anxious to see our pictures and hear our stories. We glossed over most of our night activities, but told just enough to make them all drool, (yes, even Ronny, Mick and the boys!) because we didn't really give any of the sordid details. Only teasers that were not inappropriate for horny teenagers!
Chapter 20
7 years have past since Gary and I became a couple. About three years after we all were married, Mohamed approached Gary and me about another rescue mission in Tehran. He would not even think of letting Ron go this time, because Ron's wife was five months pregnant with their little boy. Yeah, I'm a grandpa now, but a young one with plenty of experience doing what he asked of us. Ronnie begged me not to go, and Mohamed rescinded his invitation, and left it up to Gary if he should go.
"Brian, you know that Mohamed would not put me at risk anymore than necessary, and also I will be a driver as before, so not in as immediate danger as the others."
Gary went and - - didn't come back. Mohamed sent a letter telling me he was not worthy to speak to me face to face, but to inform me that there was not enough of anything of Gary's being to bring back. On the day that I received the letter, Mohamed showed up at my door.
"It was cowardly of me to send a letter, my friend, if I can ever call you that again."
I couldn't even talk. All I could do was watch him walk back to his truck, Stan in tow, seemingly as distraught as his master was.
It was Ronny who reminded me that I would never have peace until I found forgiveness- for Mo, for Gary and for myself. I yelled at my own son for that. I never used to yell at Ronny.
"Dad," he said with wet eyes, as he closed my door, to head home, "Think about it."
I did think about it, and when I could not get any resolution that way, and after gallons of tears, I found myself kneeling beside my bed.
"Father, I know you wouldn't have me bitter, but I'm stuck! Please help me deal with this." I cried out. Now I was yelling at God! I didn't feel much better by the end of my prayer.
After my prayer I fell into a troubled sleep. "Brian." It came like a whisper. It was another dream.
"Bri, please forgive me."
"Gary?" I thought. It can't be - can it!
"Bri, please forgive me!"
"G-Gary?"
"I love you - no matter what, Bri. You have to forgive everyone - me, Mo and most especially yourself."
I woke up with a start. I looked around, as if I might see him. Of course he wasn't there. I felt cold and - numb. My body started to shake and I let out a shuddering sob. I was on my back. I turned over and screamed out my agony.
I guess my pillow didn't muffle it enough. After about 5 minutes Saaby was kneeling at my bedside.
"Poppy, Poppy, what's wrong?"
If it was Ron he would have been in the bed consoling me, but I couldn't allow the boys that privilege. They both were still too confused, since their dad would - take advantage of them.
"Saaby, I had a dream. I'm sorry I woke you up."
"Can I do anything, Poppy?"
"I feel better already, knowing you care,"
"Poppy, I love you no matter what!"
"Wha-WHAT?" It rang over and over in my head: "I love you no matter what!"
I whimpered and then told Saaby I'd be okay and to go back to bed. "I love you too, Sab."
I quietly whimpered and cried most of the night. As soon as it was decently late enough to call in the morning I pushed Mo's number.
"Hello my friend." Said a sad sounding Mo.
I couldn't talk. After a long moment "Bri, what can I do for you? Whatever you ask will not be enough."
"M-Mo, it's - it's not your fault. You were only- "
"Brian, I can't ever even forgive myself, please - "
"MO, JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK!" I screamed. I started crying again. "Just a moment, Mo."
I set the phone down and again buried my face in my pillow and screamed and cried for about 30 seconds. I picked the phone up and with a very hoarse voice said, "Please stop telling me it's your fault. In the first place it's not, in the second, you have done something wonderful for many young men."
"But I could have - "
"Please Mo, Really: stop! I forgive you. I really need you to forgive yourself, so that every time we meet or see each other, across the street or at family doings you can look me in the eye! Gary's gone (sob) and nothing we can do will bring him back. I'll love him forever, and will also forever be indebted to you for bringing us together. I never knew what love was until Gary. And (sob) your refusing to – forgive yourself, and allowing me to do the same, just makes things that much worse. Can you understand this?"
"In my country, "
"How many times must I remind you – you are an American now! Will you please try? If not, I forgive you for that too. I don't want to lose you as a friend. We used to be able to tell each other anything – that's the Mo I want back."
"I'll try, my friend" he replied, still sounding sad.
The kids, (Saaby and Keyvan) were really young adults now. Both were becoming doctors. They had jobs, but Mo insisted that they still take care of the horses and all that entailed. Saaby was quite content with that, but Kev was not so satisfied. Both had special friends, (a girlfriend for Saaby, and a boyfriend for Keyvan) but there wasn't much time for that in their life. It was always a challenge for Mo to convince Kev to stay in school. He wasn't as motivated as Saaby was.
They both drive Mercedes by this time. Mo spoiled them almost as much as he did me. He bought me a brand new Cad Escalade EXT pickup truck. Of course I vociferously objected, but Mo had a way to justify things and would not back down. This was the reason I was worried that things between us would never be the same. He bought a Ferrari for Gary and it stayed in the garage. I decided this was silly. It's only a car, after all: so I gave it to Ronny! It won't be much good for his family, but he and Rachel love driving it. Besides, Mo bought them a Lexus SUV as a wedding gift.
Back to the present.
Everyone was badgering me to start dating. I stood firm: "I'm not ready!"
"It's been four years, my friend," reasoned Mo, "You must have someone to complete you." He told me many times.
We were all invited to Mo's place across the street, for Michele's birthday – on Memorial Day. Everyone in the family was there, including a young man I had not met. "Ashtad, I would like to introduce you to my best friend, Brian Weber. Brian, this is my cousin, Ashdad."
Ashtad shyly presented his hand to me. "Nice to meet you, Ashtad." I said. He was about an inch shorter than I – tall for a Persian – had almond, almost round black eyes and long dark red hair tied at the neck and going halfway down his back. I'm sure if it were untied, it would reach almost to his waist. I wondered if he was a model.
He smiled and said quietly, "Please call me Ash."
At his smile, I was dumbstruck. Up close he didn't look quite as young and his smile brought out wrinkles that were previously not apparent. Quietly again, he said, "Mo has told me somewhat about you."
Oh, has he?! I thought. "Are you just visiting – or are you going back to Iran?"
He smiled mischievously. "Do I sound like I'm from Iran?"
I felt SO stupid! He had no accent – at all! I turned red. He giggled, (He giggled?) and said both his parents were brought here a teens. He grew up in Palm Springs. (If I weren't so nervous, I would not have missed that very obvious clue!)
"I – I – I guess I'm busted!" I stammered. I felt like I was a teenager again!
"Ash is a program designer at Intel down in Folsom." Said Mo. Fortunate for me, Mo didn't mention what I "did". At Mo's almost insistent recommendation, before Gary left, we both got multi-million-dollar life insurance policies in case "something" should happen to either of us. I was – at least at present – unemployed/retired.
I thought about Gary every day. I was no longer devastated, but there was always a dull ache when I thought of him. "Palm Springs, huh? Your parents must have felt right at home."
"Oh, there's lots of snow in Iran." He gave an almost inaudible giggle. He was playing with me! But I was onto him now! I also figured out that what I thought was shyness was the probably reserve that seems to run is Mo's family. Or – maybe it was a Persian thing.
"Yeah there's snow in Palm Springs too – especially if you want to go up to it – just like in Tehran!"
Ash looked at me, tilted his head and said, "OH! That's right! You've been there! I guess you got me there!" and he laughed. "Where do you live?" he asked.
I smiled and pointed, "Over there."
"Oh." He said and then, OH! You're Keyvan and Saaby's guardian!"
"Well, not any more. They live in my basement, but they are protégés of Mo. I haven't been responsible for them since Mo, Michele and their mother moved in here."
"What my friend is not telling you," said Mo, "is that he is everything to those young men. He has taught them to be Americans – he and Ron, and he is trying to make me one too!" We all laughed at that. "Not an easy task! Why don't you take Ash and show him your stables. He too is an excellent horseman. You have plenty enough time before sunset if you want to take a ride. We will eat between 8 and 8:30."
"My cousin is still on Persian time!" Said Ash, laughing again. I could get used to that laugh.
As were about to go out the door, Mo added, "You may as well take to your satchel along so you have something to dine in. Ash can clean up over there, Brian?"
"No problem!" I said as I closed the door.
"He's pretty transparent, isn't he?" said Ashtad.
"He can be subtle when he needs to be. I think he was giving us a broad hint!" I laughed.
Since we had plenty of time, we decided to take Mo's advice and go for a ride. Of course there was no need to borrow Dmitri's horses. "I love that you have preserved a rustic look for these ultra modern stables!" Said Ash.
"That was kind of Mo's idea. The architect had a shouting match with Mo over it! Well, the architect shouted, at least. Ronny and I built the original stable after his mother died."
"I'm sorry." Said Ash.
"Thanks. So to keep us busy and to work together on something, Ronny and I built the stable. It was – putting it nicely, `rustic'. But it was our project and Mo would not take that away from Ronny – or me."
"I've heard him speak of Ronny. So he's your son. Hmm." Ash said, seeming far away for a moment. "Mo wants children – a child – a boy – so badly! I wonder - "
" – if maybe he doted on my son – to assuage his own longing?" At Ash's nod, I said, "I've wondered about that."
"There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with either of them." He added.
"He could sour his own – sperm supply," I started, "if - he is very set on his own – uhh "
"Guilt?" He asked.
I was stunned. How could – but of course! If he knows about me, he knows about Gary. I immediately clouded up.
"You look sad, Bri." (Did he just call me Bri?) "Oh, how insensitive of me! Gary was your - "
"Partner."
"Omigosh! I am so sorry and ... Gosh, I can almost feel your pain!" Said Ash, looking like any moment he would cry as well.
"Oh, if only you could have known him!"
"I did know him! When I told you that Mo told me about you – he didn't tell me that you were the one who stole Gary from me!"
"You – he – I – what?!" I exclaimed.
"Oh it's not like I made it sound. I loved Gary – from afar – like everyone else!" I have spent several evenings over at my cousin's down in Citrus Heights, either dining with him or playing silly games with him and Mo. I didn't know that you were the one who stole his heart. You know he was pretty distraught when you decided to go to Tehran the first time." (I'd almost forgotten about that!) I got a faraway look on my face and a tear started to form in my left eye. "Oh I'm so sorry!" He said I've done it again! I don't seem to know when to keep my mouth shut!"
"No, it's quite okay. I needed to be reminded of – of – that." I said woodenly.
"Do you mind if we go bareback?"
"What?!"
"I don't like saddles. I like to ride bareback. Is there a horse that will – oh! Is that Red?!" he said, indicating a tall chestnut in the far stall. I pointed at the name over the gate. "May I?"
"He's pretty skitterish."
"Oh, we're friends from way back!" Ash said approaching the gate. "C'mere Red." He almost oozed. Red perked up and turned to him, as Ash grabbed a carrot. He nickered appreciatively and Ash stroked his cheek and forelock. "He likes me close – bareback would be perfect!"
"Oh! Of course." I said, glad for the change in subject, "I prefer it too."
We put the bareback pads on and secured the bridles and reins. Red snorted and started to dance around a bit and Ash gently said, "You remember me, don'tcha, Red?" Red looked wary for another few seconds as Ash whispered soothingly to him, as if coddling a baby. He took the lead and led him through the gate and outside the stable. He hopped easily up onto Red's back, while Red stood perfectly still. "Now you remember me, big guy, don'tcha?" All the while I looked on with my mouth agape.
Then I noticed it: Ash's hair was the same shade as Red's!
He rode the big horse around in circles, as he waited for me to come out. "Which way?" He asked. I pointed the trail going up to Dmitri's house. As we neared the entry, Dmitri came out. I knew he would like to see my new friend atop this spirited horse.
"Brian! How nice that you have graced me with your presence! How long has it been?" It had been too long. I was pretty much cloistered in my house most of the time since ...
"And look! You have brought me a beautiful stallion to gaze on! And the horse is not bad either!"
I laughed while Ash blushed. "Oh, I am so brash sometimes, aren't I?" He exuded.
"Dmitri, this is Ashtad. Ashtad, Dmitri. We were just going riding. I thought you may like to saddle up Satan and - "
"Thank you, my friend, but I have a student doing scales while I came out for a moment."
"Dmitri is a famous baritone - "
"Was a baritone, and famous it overstating it!" laughed Dmitri. Now I eke out a living teaching others the sing."
"Well, I know you were friends with Pavarotti."
"I'll do my own name dropping, Brian!" He chided. "I must get back. You two have fun!" He waved and stepped back into the house.
"Is your neighbor gay?"
"He's got a wife and 2 kids. Like me, it wasn't done when we were young or got married."
"You too? How did I miss the rainbow over your neighborhood?" He snorted.
"I know you're not surprised! I thought that was why Mo sent us out together." I quipped.
"You got me! I wasn't gonna assume anything." We trotted back to the bridle path.
After a while, Red started to get skitterish again. "This is the only straightaway on the path. He want's to run." I said, nudging mine forward. She broke into a lope, but Red took that as his signal to jamb! He soon outpaced my Morab mare, and we were both laughing and exuding in the contest. Morabs were developed in the 18th century as a carriage horse. They're quick and very well mannered, but cannot keep up with a purebred Arabian, such as Satan or Red.
When we got to the end of the straightaway, we slowed to a canter. Red tried to trot, but Ash had a lot of charisma with this horse. We then showed to a walk for awhile while the horses cooled down, and stopped at the small creek between Dmitri's and my properties. The horses sucked up the water, and after the last conversation, I was at a loss as to how to continue.
"I love the rolling hills here. How long have you been here?"
"We moved shortly before Deena died. I've never regretted it!"
"It's hotter today than I expected. Mind if I remove my shirt?"
I nodded He was riding in jeans and a tee. He removed both his shirt and hair band in one motion. He put his head back and shook out his hair. It fell to about 2" short of his waist. His torso was ripped as much as his horse was! He smiled shyly (or was it reserved?) when our eyes met. I felt a familiar tightening in my jeans. I climbed back up on Lady. I acquired the Morab just before Gary – left. She was supposed to be his. As I thought about that, the tightness went away. He easily hopped up onto Red and we loped for a time.
"We should probably get back and clean up for supper." I said.
"It's only 6:30, but I agree." Said Ash. "It's been awhile since I rode. I saw a hot tub as we left for your neighbor's. Mind if we - "
"Great idea. That will make it easier for you to get up tomorrow morning.
"Yeah, I'm feeing it in my back already."
We walked the horses the rest of the way, took off their gear, curried for awhile and went into the house
We shed our clothes. Everyone else was at Mo's, so we strode to the spa in our own birthday suits. I again felt that very familiar feeling – like I was in junior high school again. We showered and - I wasn't hard, but it was respectably chubbed by the time I bent over to step into the spa.
"Nice." He said.
I was still facing the other way and felt my ears get hot. "I like these tubs that don't have all the sculptured seating. They're seldom made for anyone over 5'-7" tall." I doubt he heard my relieved sigh. He sat and I reached party over him to turn on the jets. "Nice," he uttered again as my stretched out meat hung by his shoulder. He had sat down before I could get a good look at his, and in the seating position, it was pulled way back next to is body.
"You seem to know how to put a guy off-balance!" I quipped, feeling everything above my neck heat up.
"Sorry. It's kind of a defensive mode I go into when some else is ... superior to me in `one way or the other'. I probably don't have to tell you what way I was referring to."
"How old are you, Ash, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Ah! Now you're trying to put me off-balance! I'll be 48 in 2 months."
"NO WAY!" I exclaimed.
"Now who's patronizing?" He said.
"No really, I had you pegged more like 35. Tell me something else."
"What's that? He said, giggling again.
"Do you find yourself feeling like you're in junior high school again - - too?"
I swear the next thing he did was guffah like Goofy! He turned red and said, "DUH!"
Notes: Were you as devastated as I to find out about Gary? Is four years on ice enough? Shall I keep going after this long interlude? Let me know! Luvnhugsnstuf, Steve