This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If youare too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kindif story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - -ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Brian Weber -- That's me!
Deena -- my wife
Ronny -- my son.
Chris Willows -- kid in bathroom.
Mike Riggs -- new friend.
Chanelle LeBelle -- Ronny's girlfriend.
Gary Foosdorf -- Mike's friend
From Chapter 1:
"I may just give him what he wants."
"Huh?"
"OMIGOD! Did I say that aloud?" I exclaimed.
"You did! And it sounded pretty convincing!"
I was struck mute! I would never have said that to anyone! Well, I'm glad it wasn't to Ronny! I felt a slight twinge in my nether regions -- which is why I tipped out a little when Mike laughed. "Looks like your meat's about ready." He said.
I pushed down one meat and turned all the rest. Mike chuckled.
When we came back in the house with the cooked meat, both Ronny and Gary were in the kitchen, laying out all the condiments. Ron's gay friend, Chris had arrived and Gary didn't seem to show the least interest in him OR my son. Oh! That's right! He's attracted to older guys! I found myself waffling between two thoughts: "This is insane -- this is NOT what I want or need"; and, "Omigod I SO want this guy to be my first!"
Chapter 2
Dinner went well, with lots of joking and sparring amongst four horny gay guys and one 18-year-old straight boy -- who was doing and amazing job of deflecting! After nine-thirty, Mike excused himself, and with hugs all around, left the party. I got a high sign from my boy and we met in my bedroom.
"Dad -- did you want me -- and Chris -- to get lost?"
"Whew! I've been trying to avoid that question -- or rather that situation -- or REALLY rather MAKING that decision -- all evening!"
"Dad -- do you trust me?"
"Huh?" I said.
He repeated, "Do you trust me!"
"You know I do!" I said.
"Well -- I trust you -- too! I guess the question is -- then -- do you trust yourself?"
"Omigosh, Ronny! You are exactly right on!"
"You bought protection last night -- right?"
"Protection?"
"Dad!"
"Why is it I feel like the kid here?"
"Sometimes the kid has to be the - - dad - - maybe." Ronny said with a sly, but compassionate smile. "Just go with it, Pop! I have confidence that you will make the right decision."
He was just parroting back to me something I had been telling him for at least the last two years.
"I love you so much, Ronny!" I said. I hugged him and we joined our two guests in the living room.
"Let's jam, Chris!" said Ron.
"But it's only - "
"Yeah, I know -- it's already almost ten! Isn't that your bewitching hour?" He nearly pulled Chris out the door, Chris desperately grabbing for his jacket on the way out.
Gary and I both stared at the closed door and then he started to laugh.
"Sometimes he can be so sophisticated!" I said, shaking my head."
"And others -- so transparent!" He laughed, then, "Well -- `Alone at last!' - I guess." Then seeing the panicky look in my eyes, he added, "Look, I gather that you have been out of circulation for awhile. I can just go, if - "
"NO!!" I said, "I mean - " I hesitated long enough to take a deep breath. I'm too young to be having a heart attack -- I HOPE -- so this must be an anxiety attack. "Just -- wait -- a sec -- k?" I closed my eyes, and sat. I felt like my food was any minute going to regurgitate. After another deep breath, I felt a cool hand on my shoulder. Then I felt the couch cushion depress a little more. He put one hand on my arm and the other on my knee. He worked the one on my arm up to my neck, and kneaded it a moment. I opened my eyes and looked at him. "Well -- I surely didn't expect that!" I said.
"Are you okay now?" he asked, all the humor behind us. "I'll go or stay -- whatever you -- need -- er -- want." I saw such compassion in his eyes. On one hand he looked even younger, but his compassion made him seem older.
"Stay." I said. I leaned back against the couch cushion and forced a smile and reiterated, "I want you to stay. I -- was -- just -- having trouble saying what I was -- thinking."
Gary leaned back to me and laying his head on the couch-back cushion, next to mine, he said, "Take your time, Bri, I have no place else to be."
No one has ever called me Bri. I mean -- they have tried, but have gotten rebuffed immediately. I didn't have the energy to rebuff Gary -- and the more I thought about it -- I even kind of liked the way he said it.
"You -- you -- all at once, put me at ease," I said, relaxing a little more, "and -- I don't know how else to put it -- you excite -- something -- in me!"
There! I said it! I closed my eyes again and felt his hand on my face. My face was hot, and in comparison, his hand was soothingly cool. His lips were, in contrast, warm and inviting and equally as welcome as his cool hand -- even more so. I was afraid to open my eyes -- so I didn't.
With a low moan, I kissed him back -- my first romantic kiss since -- well -- considering that perhaps there was never really any romance with Deena -- ever. After what seemed like an eternity, I opened my eyes and looked into sweet, sexy eyes.
"Was that something like what you wanted to say?" He whispered.
"Not even close!" I said breathlessly.
I decided that this was going exactly the way I would have wanted it to, had I planned it this way, so -- no need to tell him -- that I originally was going to tell him -- that I wanted him to fuck me -- as he had suggested earlier. I think that Ronny would approve -- if I told him --
WHICH I WON'T!
I moved my face into his again and we kissed more passionately than the last one and when we were finished -- he said -- "You are one sexy old man!"
"And I'm gonna GET you for that comment -- when you least expect it!"
"Oh! Sorry! Raul used to love - "
"AHEM!" I said. "I think we need to agree on something: that we will not use any sentence with either Raul or -- Deena -- in it."
"Aw -- you see?" He said. "See how your advanced wisdom' (he was careful to emphasize advanced wisdom'!) is an asset in this relationship?"
I reacted quickly. I pushed him off me and pinned him under me before he could react. We were both laughing uproariously when I grabbed his stuff -- and held on -- and squeezed -- gently. "I want -- I want - " My pulse started to race again and my mouth got dry. He pulled me down hard on top of him, so my face was on the cushion next to his.
"I think I know what you want. And let me tell you -- I want it too. And -- I like you enough that -- I don't want you to resent me in the morning. I'm thinking that we should sleep on this -- in our own beds -- in our own houses -- for at least tonight." He looked from eye to eye, for acceptance.
"I -- don't want to be alone -- until Ron comes home." I said.
"I can stay that long. I can stay as long as it takes. I just don't want you to think I took advantage of you."
"You -- you -- amaze me."
He smiled sweetly. "Oh? Why?" He asked.
"From what you said earlier, I thought - "
"I'll be honest with you. I had exactly in mind what you thought I did -- earlier. I haven't kept myself on ice -- since -- you know who -- pushed me away. But I haven't felt quite this way -- about any of the -- others -- since -- him. I dunno -- there's something -- um -- special going on here. I don't want to -- spoil it -- Bri. Is it okay to call you Bri?"
"No one else has been allowed - "
"Okay, then Brian it is."
" -- before, but -- when you say it -- it's -- all good."
"You see? It's things like that which makes me want this to be more than a one nighter."
"That's all you've had since - ?" I probed.
"No -- there were a couple I dated more than once. And believe me -- `dated' is a gross euphemism!"
"When shall we -- do this -- again?" I asked. As I said that, my boner flexed.
"I -- want it now." He repeated. "But maybe next time. We can think about it some more."
"I'll be thinking of little else until that time!" I said.
"Well, then, lets not keep you waiting too long. How about Wednesday night -- at MY place?"
I relaxed on top of him. I felt the pressure of his own in my abdomen. I couldn't subdue another flex. "I probably will be thinking of you -- a lot through this night." I said.
He deliberately flexed three times. "Make it a good one -- er -- maybe three?" He smiled and kissed me again. "And -- maybe you're comfortable with your son seeing us like this -- but I`m not quite -- yet. So maybe we should sit up until he comes home."
"Or we could go into my room." I said. Gary looked at me with lowered head and smiled. "You're right -- that probably might not be the wisest thing." I admitted.
I got off him and went to the door and locked it, then came back and sat down next to him. I put on an already-in-progress movie, and we cuddled until we fell asleep.
When we heard the key in the lock, we sat up and Ronny let himself in. He looked at us and said, "Okay, then. Well, g'night -- um -- guys! As he was walking out, he said, "nice movie!"
It was an infomercial of some woman on a exer-cycle of some kind. He giggled and walked the couple steps to his room and when the door shut, we both started to giggle. "Can't pull much over on that boy, can we?" Said Gary.
"Knowing him, he'll probably assume the worst." I said.
"Unless it's NOT the worst." He smiled.
"You're a devil!" I said, as we both got up and started for the door.
He kissed me good night, and grabbed "it" and said, "Don't work it too much! Save some for me!"
I closed and locked the door, and was getting psyched up to go to my bedroom and have a go at myself with abandon, when Ronny appeared in the hall in front of me.
"Okay -- tell me all about it. Did you -- use one -- or more -- of your condoms?"
I grabbed him gently, hugged his close and said, in his ear, "That, my sweet son, is none of your damned business!" I kissed him on the lips -- as is our custom -- and said, "G'night Son."
"G'night Dad. I love you!"
I turned and looked at him. "Oh -- I LOVE YOU too, Sweetheart!"
It took a little more to get me going than had I not been interrupted by my boy, but I would not trade these moments for anything. I gently wanked myself to visions of myself and Gary. It felt good, but I don't think I finished the act until my dream kicked in. I don`t know if I was still throwing it off, but it was a very vivid dream and the stains on my jams in the morning told me it was every bit as good as I remembered it -- in the dream.
"Dad? Time to get up. Can't you hear your alarm?" I popped out of bed and felt better than I had in a long time upon waking up. I grinned at my boy. "Thanks, Ronny!"
"I have to go, but your cereal is in its bowl, and there is a waffle in the warmer for you. Bye!" He said. When I didn't answer, he came back and kissed my lips. I could still feel the wetness in my jams and wondered -- if - - of course he doesn't miss much!
"That's better!" I said. "We're bound to drift apart in some ways, but let's fight it all we can. Now it was his turn to grin. "I love you Poppy!"
"I love YOU, Ron!"
He hurried out the door and that left me to myself. I knew my dream had been good. I remembered most of it. And though I could feel the evidence of how good it was on my jams, I couldn't exactly remember the feeling.
I remedied that soon enough, as I took my shower. I am pretty good with imaging in my head, so my climax was pretty spectacular. I won't give you details of my imagined scenario, but I doubt I need tell you who it was with.
My cell phone rang. "Hello?" I said, still wet from the shower.
"Oh good! I caught you. Can you talk?"
"Yeah, I'm getting ready for work, Gary."
"I'll make it quick. Um -- did you sleep well?"
"Well? Yeah one could say that!" I couldn't stifle a giggle. "Had a nice shower too!"
"I'm glad -- me too. So -- we're still on for Wednesday night?"
"Um -- yeah!" I said. "You're not having second thoughts?"
"Oh, Hell no! Can't wait!"
"Me too. Um -- is that -- what you called -- about?" I said, not able to keep the amusement out of my voice."
"I -- I'm sorry -- I've thought of nothing -- well -- very little -- other than you since we -- met. I don't mind telling you -- I feel somewhat like a teenager again!" I too could hear the grin is his voice. It almost made me cum again. (Not really, but the feeling was great!)
"Okay! Now you've given me enough to live on until Wednesday night!" I said. I felt a drop of something thick ooze out of my urethra, and caught it on the tip of my finger. I smeared it around with my thumb and index finger, and put it up to my nose, taking in the heady scent, as he said,
"Okay -- see you here Wednesday -- 6:30 -- k?"
"Perfect!" I said. "Bye!"
I got the feeling he was -- as I was -- reticent to hang up. But I needed to eat my breakfast, then get to work -- but not until after I got dressed of course -- and not that, until I dried off -- of course -- and not that, before I -- well, I think you can figure out what I did -- again! Dang if I'm not feeling like a teen again! (And - - not in a bad way!)
(I didn't have time for breakfast)
When I got home, the kitchen was spotless, the table in the dining room ( Ronny and I never eat in the dining room) was set with a table cloth (Ronny and I never use a table cloth) and our nice china and flatware -- which we seldom have used since Deena died -- was set on it. Some tolerable alternative rock was playing only slightly louder than I liked it. What, I wondered, does that boy want?
"Hi Pop!"
"Ronny -- everything looks so nice! Company coming?"
"Nope! I just wanted to showcase the flowers."
There was a wonderful summer flower arrangement as a centerpiece.
"Where did you pick them up?" I asked my son.
"I didn't pick them up. They -- arrived -- after I got home from work."
"And - - ?"
"And - - look at the card!"
"Hey, Brian. Thanks for the great dinner and time last night. Everything was perfect! Call me."
"It isn't signed." I said. "Heh! I guess it should be obvious!"
"You read the back of the card. Look at the front." Ronny said.
"For Brian and Ron. Love, Mike"
"Mike?" I said.
"Yeah, huh? I wonder what that's about?" Said Ronny.
I immediately opened my cell phone and found Mike's number and entered it. "Hello Brian." He answered kind of soberly.
"Hi Mike. Thanks for the flowers, they are beautiful." I left unasked what I really was wondering about.
"I asked you to call -- because I couldn't -- well -- can I come over for a few minutes?"
"Oh -- hold on a sec." I pushed mute and turned to Ronny. "What's for dinner?"
"I couldn't resist, Dad. I bought one of those huge porterhouse steaks you were ogling. It was just a happy coincidence that the flowers arrived!"
"Is the porterhouse big enough for three?"
"It's big enough for a party!"
"Three will do!" I said, then un-muted my phone. "Sorry, Mike. Um -- can you eat dinner with us?"
"Well, then I'll owe you two dinners, but yeah, that'd be fine."
"Is everything okay, Mike? Should I worry?"
"Um -- why don't we wait until I get there. It does relate to Gary though. See you in a few, huh?"
"Yeah -- okay! Yeah! See yah! Bye!" I couldn't really admit that I felt such a strong attachment to Gary already, but -- the fact is -- well - Dang if I'm not feeling like a teen again! (And - - not in a GOOD way!)
The two hours it took for Mike to get to our house (which in reality was 10 minutes!) was grueling for me. I didn't even notice I was pacing. "Dad -- how bad can it be?" Said my son -- again playing the role of the dad.
How bad? How could I even explain it to him. Teens have enough trouble trying to figure out their own reality -- not to mention, their teen-acting dads! Then he offered, "Go shave and -- comb your hair -- or something. Maybe Mike is bringing Gary with him!"
Suddenly hopeful, and without thinking I answered, "You think?"
"Not a snow ball's chance in hell. Dad, it was only one night."
It took me exactly two minutes to shave and comb my hair. I was intensely concentrating on NOT pacing when the knock at the door nearly gave me a heart attack. I sprang for the door. Ronny beat me to it and stood in front of it, still closed. "Go to your room, Dad. I'll call you if it's someone for you!" He smiled. So did I. Then I ran to my room.
"Oh, Hi, Mike. Come in."
"Oh -- the flowers DID turn out nice!" Said Mike. "You never quite know when you have them delivered."
"Yeah, Dad was -- excited to see them."
"Excited?"
I decided it was time to make my appearance -- before Ron gives away anything more.
"Hi, Mike!" I was not sure of gay etiquette, but I strode to him and gave him a hug.
After a warm hug, he stepped back. "And here I was hoping you would borrow your son's jeans again. You butt looked nice in them!"
"My son wouldn't wear those on a dare. They're mine." I said, with an embarrassed smile.
"Smells good in here!" Said Mike.
"Yeah, Ronny picked up a nice cut of meat. He's actually got it barbecuing on the patio."
Both of us were -- for the moment -- ignoring the elephant in the middle of the room. But finally, I could not stand it any longer. "So -- what's the news about our friend?'"
"Our friend?" Is he actually playing with me? "Oh -- you mean Gary."
DUH!
"He -- um -- asked me to tell you that - <> he can't do dinner Wednesday night."
"Is that all? Why -- I mean -- he could have - "
"It's more than that. He has some -- er -- something of a personal matter to take care of -- before he sees you again. He just was -- well, the way he put it was after last night, he couldn't tell you himself."
I looked at Ronny and he gave me a deer in the headlights stare.
"What kind of -- um -- problem -- are we talking about?"
"Well, you see -- now -- there's part of the problem. I'm going to have to defer to Gary himself to tell you -- when he's -- um -- ready -- I guess. In the mean time, he said he doesn't expect you to put yourself on ice while you're waiting for him. Brian, I will tell you this much: he was quite distressed."
We had a nice enough time talking during dinner -- though I couldn't tell you a single detail of it. I can't even remember if the porterhouse was any good.
As he left, Mike said thanks and compliments to the chef, then said, "And Brian -- Gary told me to give you this:" He hugged me close, and patted my back. "See you around, huh?"
I'm afraid I wasn't much company for my son that evening. And this time he let me be. I think he sensed that I needed to process this alone.
I meet a guy at a gay bar. He comes over for dinner. We talk and kiss -- but no more, and I feel like I'm in love! How juvenile is that? What could be the problem? I tried to put my self to sleep in the usual way -- no, not drugs -- by hand! . Even that didn't work. I did fall asleep -- sometime after 2:00 AM.
I woke up late again. I had barely enough time to get up, throw on my clothes and run out the door to work. It was long past time for Ronny to be out of the house. Then I heard movement outside my room.
"Ron? Ronny?!" I hollered.
"Oh, dad! You're awake. I turned off your alarm. You needed to sleep."
"But I have to - "
"I called your work. I told them that you couldn't sleep last night and that you may not be in to work. Bob said to take the day off. He said not to worry -- he'll save all your work for you!" Ronny chuckled.
"And how about you?" I asked.
"I called and got Spud to cover for me. He's always looking for more hours."
"How did Spud get his name anyway? Do you know?"
"I DO know -- and it's my fault. James is his real name. Well, James told a joke about a guy, Larry, who asked his studly friend, Ace, `How do you always attract so many girls at the beach -- while I can't seem to get any to look at me.' Ace didn't want to hurt Larry's feelings -- by telling him that he was skinny and pimply-faced and hard to look at. So he told him something that he thought would get his friend some attention.
`Next time you come to the beach, get yourself a potato and put it in your swim suit.'
The next time Larry saw Ace, it was at the beach again and Ace, as usual was standing talking to several hot ladies -- while Larry was still alone. He walked up to Ace and said, bitterly `Well, your suggestion doesn't seem to work for me!'
`Larry -- Larry!' Ace said, "You were supposed to put the potato in the FRONT!"
"Ew! That's an image that I'll not easily lose!" I laughed.
"So thereafter I started calling James, `Spud'. I guess it stuck."
"I'll try to remember not to ask you to give me a nick-name!" I said.
"So -- how are you feeling Dad?" Said my wonderful, truly concerned, son.
"Heh! Kind of silly, I guess. Like some silly teenager that - "
"Watch what you say -- I'm still there, you know!"
"Ronny -- you know how much I love you." He nodded. "Well, the only thing I can figure is that when I determined it was time for me, it flung me headlong -- back into adolescence."
"Uh-huh."
"Really! I am twice your age and it feels like I am 12 again and dealing with new sexual feelings and heartaches and all -- like a 12 or 13-year-old would. On one hand I can stand back and see how silly it is, but on the other, it feels -- as I can remember -- the same!"
"I fixed some lunch." Said Ronny.
"How late is it?"
"Not that late. I packed it and thought maybe we could go down to the Lake go for a run, maybe get wet and take in some rays. It's still cool, but after the run, the swim will feel good. I packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."
"You've always been partial to them!" I said, smiling.
"Oh! And I packed a potato -- for you to put in your shorts!"
"Hey! You're the one who would attract all the girls!"
"You look great, Dad. You'd easily attract a lot of stares."
"Yeah -- from women that I'm not the least interested in."
"We could go to that place on the North fork. Plenty of fags there!" He saw my instant reaction to using that term. "Sorry -- gays."
"No, it's okay I guess. Just be careful who you throw that around in front of. The nude beach, huh?"
"Remember how quickly you escorted us past that beach when we happened upon it during our Explorer hike? The rest of the scouts -- including me -- wanted to stop there and get wet! All those naked people! Woulda been better if more had been girls, though."
"There were women!" I said.
"Yeah, I remember the one with the boobs down to her belly button and an ass that looked like SHE had a potato in it -- oh! And arm pit hair that'd choke a dog!"
"Oigosh! I don't remember that!"
"Um -- you probably weren't looking at any women, Dad!"
"Well, most of the guys were not all that pretty to look at either. I saw several try to suck in their guts when you 13 year-old kids walked by. Perverts!" I said with disgust. "No, I don't think that would be the place to find a guy."
"In all fairness, Dad, we don't know the whole story of Gary."
"Ron -- he could have at least come or even called -- and told me himself! That was cowardly."
"I like him. I think you should cut him some slack. Remember -- he's not as old as you." Said Ronny
"By all appearances -- he seems somewhat younger than you!" I said. I was surprised at my anger. That just wasn't me.
We ate some breakfast and as we were backing out of the driveway, we saw someone go up to the front door. I backed up and waited to see what he would do. He left a note and upon turning around -- it was Gary.
When he saw us, his head dropped and he shook it slowly from side to side. I got out and approached him.
"What's up, Gary?" I tried to seem upbeat and -- at least -- understanding -- which I didn't feel!
Notes: Thanks so much for all your letters. I can't NOT write now! For those who don't know my writing style, I call it "Writing from the hip". Normally in English comp, you form a plot and outline for the story, and follow it. I just like to start writing, after a loose idea of who my main character will be. From there, often I am as surprised as the reader -- where the story goes. Any comments are welcome. I hope to find out what it is about hotmail that is messing up the text-wrap, and apologize for the difficulty that some have reading the wide screen text.
If you write to me, and ask, I will send you links to all my stories. The rest don't have the text-wrap problem.
Thanks again and love, Steve stevethomas535@hotmail.com