This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Brian Weber -- That's me! Deena -- my wife (Deceased) Ronny -- my son. Gary Foosdorf -- My Sweetheart Dmitri Polczek-- Neighbor Ericka -- Dmitri's wife Alexandra -- Dmitri's daughter Muhammad Zarindast -- Friend Stan -- Muhammad's Afghan hound. Mick Azerov -- 26 year old American Freedom Contender Keyvan & Sohrab -- Persian wards. Colin -- Gary's cousin Jake -- Colin's husband Uri -- Colin's and Jake's son Ursula -- Colon's and Jake's daughter Liv (Olivia) - Uri and Ursula's Mother Chris -- Jakes Cousin Craig -- Chris's partner Seth -- Chris's brother Luke -- Seth's partner
From Chapter 18:
"I dunno. Dad - She brings out emotions and -- you know -- STUFF -- that I feel like has been trapped inside me since -- I don't know when! I gotta play it through and see where it goes."
My mind reeled. I heard my own echo saying that exact thing last night to Gary.
"But you're only nineteen -- well not EVEN nineteen!" I said.
"Dad -- you know as well as I do that I've seen more life than moist 25 year olds!"
I couldn't argue with that. "Do you think she would be willing to relocate to California?" I asked, then it occurred to me -- the same time he said it:
"She can't leave her kids here! I'd have to be the one who would move."
I felt suddenly numb. Life without my boy? Could I do it?
Chapter 19
Ronny tried to spend some time with Liv on their last day, still determined to figure a way to spend another week or so -- but confounded about what he might do about his studies back home.
And Liv had already promised to help with the Smith quarterly party -- which turned out to be the big shebang for all the gay community in their surrounding Vermont and New Hampshire counties. The party was surprisingly well behaved, with only a few really outlandish displays of so-called gay pride. It was well known that the Smith clan did not support such shenanigans.
The main party centered around Jake and Colin's mansion -- the outside pool being warmed by large overhead heaters. There were lots of guys -- not all of them in top shape -- but if it was eyes candy one wanted, there was no shortage. Mick had suggested the he and Ronny take Saaby for a ride and maybe go see the famous (in the Smith clan) ferry where Seth had narrowly escaped death -- the second time. Ronny opted to take his chances with spending a moment or two with Liv.
Luke didn't have much stomach for these parties, so he volunteered to take Mick and Saaby out for a drive.
As it turned out -- Seth had another quest: to find out who this Ronny was and if he was okay to court their beloved Liv. Colin and Jake were happy that Colin's cousins had come for a visit, but the fact that one of them was possibly interested in their children's mother was somewhat alarming to them. They had asked Seth to find out what this Ronny's intentions were.
I was told about this on our long plane ride home. Everyone was exhausted for the long weekend of activities -- except Ronny. He needed to vent and I really was interested in what he had to tell me -- though tired. I drank high energy drinks -- to stay awake.
"Dad -- can I talk to you?"
"Of course, Ronny." I said
"I'll sit in one of the open seats back there." Said my sweet but overwhelmed lover, as he stepped over me to get out of his seat. Of course I could not resist goosing him on his way out! "We'll deal with that later, Bri!" He quipped.
"HEY!" Said Ronny in mock disgust. "You're teen-aged son is here!" Gary grabbed him in a bear hug and kissed his lips. "Pervert!" Said Ronny, squeezing his butt, then said, "I wish you had gotten me a brother years ago, Pop!"
Gary sat in the seat behind us and was soon fast asleep. I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear what Ronny had to tell me. I also didn't want to break off our communication. We had not talked since the night before the party, so I was still somewhat stunned that my beloved son could be 3000 miles away from me. I had started the mourning process by rationalizing that all parents have to go through this and I'd just have to suck it up and live with it. I moved over and let him have the aisle seat.
"Dad, I had the most amazing talk with Seth last night." He started.
"Wow!" I said. That certainly was not what I ever expected to hear. "What did he say?"
"Well, as we talked, he was pretty upfront about his intention. He wanted to get to know me because the Smith's are concerned about my attention toward Liv."
"Really!" I said. I was of course concerned too, but that they were -- about my son -- somehow put me in a defensive mode.
"What? They want to know if you're good enough to - "
"No, Dad -- it wasn't not about that. Well, maybe it was to some degree, I really don't know, but that's not what I wanted to tell you."
"Oh!" I said, still a little miffed that anyone would doubt my son's veracity.
"Dad, I really like Seth."
"He does seem like a nice guy." I conceded.
"No, Dad -- I mean I REALLY like him. I'm not sure I've ever met someone that was so caring and -- well -- he's been through a lot. In finding out about me -- he also opened up to me -- big time. At times we were both crying. Dad, he's amazing. And -- do you know how old he is?"
"Actually no. He looks older than most of the other guys, with his graying hair, but I understand that his brother Chris is a few years older than he is."
"Dad -- he's only 24 -- He's younger than Mick!"
"No shit?" I said, then seeing the surprised look I said, "Sorry, Son. That really surprises me."
"But he talks like someone much older -- I think. When I tell him something -- and Dad, he didn't have to even ask me a lot of questions. He's a reality therapist -- or something like that -- and I found myself just volunteering stuff about me -- and he never acted surprised. Whatever I would tell him, he had some point of reference -- and had a story to tell me."
"Good grief, Ronny!" I said. "What all did you tell him?"
"Let's just say that we don't have any secrets from each other. I should be as exhausted as the rest of you; he and I pretty much talked all night last night. And I am very tired, but -- I wanted to tell you what we talked about -- so maybe both of us could get some good rest.
"Anyway, um -- how much do you know about him?" Asked Ronny.
"Not too much -- other than he tried to commit suicide. I heard that from Gary, who was told by his cousin -- that old lady who put him in contact with Colin."
"Well, it indeed was an attempt to end his life. Dad, he had been nearly killed twice, and then his partner -- whom he lived with for a short time, died. He blamed himself for it and that's why -- and he made it clear that it was not justification for suicide -- but he was very depressed, and anyway that's what caused it. But there was a lot more too."
"Wow." I said.
"Yeah -- and -- well -- in our conversation, I told him about Mom. That's probably the most questions he asked me -- about Mom. He asked me what she looked like, Pop. I tried to describe her from memory, but then I remembered the picture I have in my wallet. It's gotten so bad from being in several wallets ever since -- (sigh!), but when he saw it, Seth got really quiet. I'd swear his eyes changed color -- or maybe it was his face. He looked like he saw a ghost, Dad!"
"Wow! What - - ?"
"Dad, he said to me, Ron, look at that picture.' Which I did. It looked like Mom. Then he said, Ronny -- who else -- does it look like someone else?' I looked at it again, baffled what he was talking about. `Think about someone here -- in the compound.' He said. I did, but the only one I could think of -- because there aren't that may women here -- was - "
"OH MY GOD!" I said. Tears came to my own eyes as I realized that Ronny was falling for a girl that looked almost like his own mom! Why I hadn't seen it before is beyond me. "LIV!! Liv looks like your mom!" I said in a voice loud enough to make everyone else in our compartment stir. The flight attendant came and asked if everything was alright. I assured her it was. She went to the coach cabin to help with something.
"Wha -- wah -- wah - " Gary stirred then said, "What's wrong, Bri?"
"Nothing's wrong Sweetheart. Everything's right. I'll explain later."
"Not sure I want to wait `til later!" He said, sounding somewhat perturbed.
"Come up here, then." I said.
Gary came up and looked at the two of us sitting in the two-seat row. He looked at us as if he thought we were crazy. "Sorry, Gary." Said Ronny. "My dad and I are still talking. You'll have to just sit on one of our laps!"
Gary sat in Ron's lap. "This isn't too comfortable," Said Gary as he ground his butt into Ronny's crotch. "I think I like your dad's lap better. You're too bony!"
"I got a bone for you!" said Ron, as if talking to one of his jock friends. "Problem is -- you're too eager for it!"
"Oh, you and your empty promises!" Said Gary and he lifted himself over the console to my lap. "Now THERE'S a bone I can get myself around!" Ha said.
"SHUT - UP!" Said Ronny.
"So what is it that was so important you had to wake half the plane?" Said Gary.
"Gary," I said, "Ronny and I weren't in love with Liv!"
"Well, after last night, I kind of figured that out -- at least with you!" Said Gary to me.
"Gary," said Ronny -- "We both fell for a ghost. Liv looks just like my mom!"
Gary looked stunned. Ronny got out his old tattered picture and showed it to Gary. Gary stared at it in awe. He said, slowly and deliberately, "Well, Fuck me!"
"Gary!" Both Ronny and I said in unison.
"Can it wait `til we get home?" I said.
Ronny added, "How many times do I have to tell you no, Gary!"
"C'mon, you know you want me!" and for that, Gary got Ronny's middle finger waving in his face. "There you go with another promise! Pee Tee!" And he grabbed Ron's hand and sucked on his finger.
"Ew!" Said Ronny. "There's nothin' in there for you!"
"Maybe not but it's bigger than the one in your pants!"
"Daddy! Gary's been peeking again!" Whined my son, sarcastically.
"Okay, you too, settle down." I said -- more seriously than I meant it to be.
"Anyway, Gary, that's why all the confusion night before last." Said Ronny.
Gary, quick as lightning again leaned over and kissed Ronny on the mouth, and said, "Just in case you might get jealous - " And then Gary planted a wet warm one on me. Oh -- and deep too!
"So now you two can get back to your sick, perverted life!" Said Ronny, laughing.
"Yup!" Said Gary. "And you can get it goin' again with Mick -- maybe tonight!"
"I'll take his straight ass any day to your queer butt!" Said Ronny. At Gary's guffaw, Ron added, "In my bed, pervert -- in my bed."
"Still sounds kinda queer, Bud!" Said the now awake Mick.
"Tell this pervert, Mick! -- We don't ever touch -- when we're in bed."
"Ah -- of only that were true!" Said Mick -- who used to be very careful about what he said around us.
"Huh?" Said Ronny and Gary together!
"We touch ourselves way too much lately! Said Mick. "I'm friggin' almost 27! My mother thinks I need to find a woman to sleep beside me!"
"Aw -- why," said Gary, "when you get to sleep with this young tender piece o' meat here next to me?"
"Yeah, well he may by young and tender, but he's plumbed all wrong.
"And by the way, Ronny -- you can go sit by your bedmate now -- you've unloaded." I said. "My legs are going to sleep."
In the semi-dark, Gary surreptitiously squeezed what was between my legs, and whispered, "Feels like your legs are not all that went to sleep -- oh wait! Nope! He's waking up as we speak!" He pecked me on the cheek and rolled over to the seat vacated by Ronny, leaving a small tent in his wake. He managed a passing grab as he sat down. I fell asleep gazing at his sweet, handsome face.
I woke up as the plane set down in Sacramento. Mo picked us up at the airport with news that upset only Keyvan. Keyvan and Saaby's father had taken his own life. Keyvan missed his father -- even though his father abused him horribly. Saaby was not so upset, but he was immediately worried about his mother -- and of course his brother. He hated his father, but still admired his older brother, and he knew that Keyvan had done his best to protect him -- from the very father that Keyvan missed.
Sexual abuse makes for strange situations. In the case of Persians -- and other Muslims -- the wife has little recourse if her husband decides to take their son -- or daughter -- into his bed. So it didn't occur to either boy to blame their mother.
That eliminated one more possible roadblock to adopting the boys. Mo promised his full cooperation, including continued financial support for the boys. The boys were here on an official student visa and their mother was here for asylum.
In the wake of the news of their father's death, neither of the boys objected when Gary and I decided to make our vows very privately, and only do what was required to secure spousal rights for each of us. We asked Mick to perform the `ceremony', and since there was nothing legal about it, he didn't need any certificate of any kind.
We did do it in out front yard, with only our closest friends and relatives in attendance. I was sure that my parents were there somewhere. They had perished in the same earthquake that Renny's parents did in San Diego. Ronny and I were supposed to be with them, but Ronny got sick at the last minute. After losing his mother a scant few years before, that only served to cement my relationship to him. We both were hurting pretty badly at the time. It was then that we built the stable.
It was at this occasion that we chose to announce that all hurdles had been surmounted and that Saaby and Kev were to be our sons -- legally. On the advice and experience of Gary's cousin(s), we decided that if we adopted a baby, it would have to be at least potty trained!
Because of his religion, Mo would not participate in the ceremony, and his mother-in-law remained cloistered in the house across the street. Michele, Mo's new wife, stood beside him in the beautiful, airy, pastel layers of cloth she was married in. We felt honored.
We asked not to be given any gifts, but Mo insisted on giving us a trip to celebrate our vows. He asked us to decide where. We could have chosen anywhere around the world, but neither of us had been to Southern Utah: Canyonlands, Lake Powell, Zion, Bryce, Capitol Reef, or the Painted Desert of Arizona and New Mexico. So he flew us to Salt Lake where he paid all our expenses to rent a convertible and to stay anywhere we chose.
We thought we would like to try a bed and breakfast tour, but quickly found that with the proprietors in the next bedroom -- and often sharing a bathroom -- that was not much to our liking. We were able to find vacancies in every place we tried. It was a little sad to see so many vacancies, because of the sky-high gas prices, but that gave us more privacy than we would have had.
We always asked -- motel or hotel -- to be placed so that our room was not adjacent to any other travelers if possible. It was nearly always possible.
At the Salt Lake Airport, we rented a bright yellow Mustang convertible. Okay, I know that's gay, but ...
We first drove into Salt lake and found a bed and breakfast with a sweet couple -- who happened to be non-Mormons. But they were very nice to give us directions to all the Mormon hot spots.
We took the tour on Temple square, where nice girl missionaries told us about what the Mormons believed. Their understanding about God made more sense than any of the other Christian beliefs I had heard. I had read the bible from cover to cover and could not justify their belief that the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost were the same person. Nothing in the actual scriptures supports this concept. The Mormons don't believe it -- which I respected.
We both liked their concept of eternal marriage. That death doesn't stop a relationship. That just makes all kinds of sense. But we were assured that -- we probably couldn't take advantage of that. Which did not make sense. If we love each other here, then -- if there is life after death -- then we will still love each other there. We didn't argue the point.
We could live without the religion but the temple grounds were beautiful and worth seeing, as well as the big building across the street which has gardens with fountains and pools on the roof! Well, I suppose some people would visit Rome and not the Vatican, but not us!
From there we drove south on I-15 to St. George, which is the gate to Zion National Park. It is nothing short of spectacular. You can see God's handiwork everywhere. All the colors and the way the colorful rock formations pushed (or is it shot?) out of the ground. There were far too many hikes to see it all.
There is a great IMAX theater at the West entrance just minutes from St. George that gave a short history of the formation of Zion.
From there, we found a nice motel in a little town named, Panguich, near to Bryce Canyon,National Park. Bryce is the place that has all the eerie looking red-orange spires. Doesn't take long to drive around the canyon, unless you stop at every turnout. And it didn't take many stops to figure out that after a few, they started all looking the same.
But it was very interesting, and we even took a lunch and hiked down into one area, where we got another view from the bases of the spires. It was awe-inspiring, but we happy left it behind.
From there, we drove south to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. I had been to the South rim before -- where the most tourism is -- because it's open all year. The South Rim is desert, whereas the North Rim is higher, with dense forests. We stayed at the Kaibab Lodge, just outside the park entrance. These were about the best lodging accommodations we had on the trip. They rented us a cabin -- no neighbors on any adjacent walls! We loved the privacy there. We stayed there 3 nights, filling two full sight-seeing days. The lodge at the actual North Rim is beautiful and perched right on the rim.
We decided someday to go back -- maybe with the kids -- and take the donkey ride down to the Colorado River. But not this trip! Also, compared to our rapids on the American River near home, the wild Colorado is one of the best -- comparable to the Amazon. But again, that would be another trip.
The second day we rented a couple horses and rode to the East Rim, where you can get a panoramic view of the Painted Desert. The pastels in that view were breathtaking, in pinks and purples. Only in a queer's dream would you find anything else that beautiful!!
Each evening we ate dinner at the Kaibab Lodge, and it was excellent food. After the long days and the full tummies, we had energy only for ... wild sex for half the night!!! What were YOU thinking?
We slept in on our last morning there, and barely got to the lodge in time for breakfast. From there we drove east over the Navaho Bridge, a bridge that arches over the East Rim of the Grand Canyon, and down onto the desert floor to Mesa Verde, in south-western Colorado. We hiked up to the cliff dwellings carved out of the majestic sandstone cliffs there.
Then we drove on to Durango, Colorado for the night. In the morning, we boarded The Denver and Rio Grand (D & RG) narrow gauge railroad train which took us to a little town called Silverton, named for it's purpose for being, through breathtaking scenery, the tracks sometimes clinging to the cliffs, with only enough carved out of the wall for the tracks and the train to pass -- and sometimes the train overhung the edge of the cliff. Very exciting.
We had lunch in Silverton and took a bus back to our motel. We loved experiencing each other in all these beautiful areas. From Durango, we drove back to Lake Powel, and rented a house boat. We spent 3 days aboard the houseboat, cruising around the lake and into narrow inlets where the read and orange cliffs rose thousands of feet over our heads.
We towed a jet ski behind us and stopped several times a day to cool off by speeding off on the jet ski for from 15 minutes to a couple hours -- sometimes -- to explore an inlet that the houseboat could not navigate.
Nights aboard the houseboat were grand. Again, with no neighbors -- we always found a lonely spot to moor for the night -- we made love by moonlight each night on the roof of the houseboat. But we of course came in to sleep in an air conditioned luxury room!
There was so much more to see than we had time to see, that we decided to put off New Mexico to another trip, as well, as drive through Canyonlands. But on the way back to Salt Lake City, we took a slight detour to see Capitol Reef National Park. It is a lesser known park that has some very primitive roads, but we drove through canyons so narrow that two cars were pressing it to pass each other in the sand.
The walls had centuries-old petroglyphs made by ancient Indians, as well as more modern graffiti from the early 20th century, when people drove their horseless carriages through the canyons. Some had been washed away by flash floods. We were cautioned not to go into the park if there were even a whisp of a cloud in the distant sky.
We returned to Salt Lake city several shades darker than we left it. Gary looked so hot with his suntanned face and body!
Our last night in Salt lake City we relaxed. Nothing but laying around the hotel room, pool and spa, watching some pey per view on the TV, and trying to imitate what the porn-studs were doing, but finally giving up and doing our much wilder version. We were up early the next morning, drove to the airport, turned in our convertible and arrived back at Sacramento International, picked up by Ronny and Mick in my Avalanche.
The boys were all anxious to see our pictures and hear our stories. We glossed over most of our night activities, but told just enough to make them all drool, (yes, even Ronny, Mick and Saaby!) because we didn't really give any of the sordid details. Only teasers that were not inappropriate for horny teenagers!
And the next part is what all readers hate ...
"And they lived happily ever after - - "
Notes. Sorry, but I had to end it. It was getting worse than sappy, corny or cheesy! I expect to take a small vacation from writing, but not too long. It's compelling, obsessive and addictive for me! Thanks for your support and ... love, Steve