Open Your Eyes Chapter One
Disclaimer: I don't know/own/have anything to do with *NSYNC. If you don't like homosexual relationships, what are you doing in Nifty anyway? Feel free to send me feedback, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you, and enjoy! -Angel1313 ^_^
note: This is from Lance's point of view, so it will be in first person. I'm not really Lance, so if I get something about him totally wrong, you can tell me, but, uh, I do have a literary license, you know! =P
I don't know when it started, or why it did, but I fell in love with one of my closest friends. I spend a lot of time with several of my best friends, so I don't know why it was him. Or why it was a guy, just in general. But, it was. Yes, I'm gay. It took me a while to accept that fact, because I was sure that I was going to hell if I did. Then I realized that love isn't a sin, no matter what form it comes in. It took a lot of introspective thinking and soul searching, but I believe that I am right. God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes though, I wish that He hadn't made me like this. It can be so frustrating! I love one of my friends, but I can never tell him the nature of my love. I am blessed because I get to see him every day, and at least we're friends. Our friendship has to be enough. I don't want it to be, I'm honest enough to admit that to myself, but I know that I have to learn to accept that fact. I need to work on strengthening our friendship, anyway. We're close, but I'm not his best friend. He has someone else to fill that occupation, a truth that taunts me whenever I see the two of them together. I'm not even his best friend, what chance do I have of becoming his lover? I can't help but sigh. It's times like these, when we're in between shows, that are the worst. I, of course, am stuck by myself while the other guys pair off with their best friends. I don't know why, but I never really clicked with any one of the other guys more then with the rest. Or maybe I just never got the chance. I was, after all, the last to join the group. They'd already began their friendships by the time I came abroad. Hmm? Someone's at the door. That's unusual. It's too early for it to be Joey asking me to go clubbing. That is one thing, though. I can't really complain; I'm not left alone *all* that much. Joey and I go clubbing together all the time, and the rest of the guys always remember to include me when they're doing something. It's just that I don't have a special someone that I can turn to no matter what, that I can count on for being there when something is wrong, or if I have trouble sleeping. It gets lonely knowing that no one cares for you in that way. "Yes?" It's about time that I answered the door. "Hey, Scoop, what's up?" It's Joey. "Not much. What brings you over her so early?" He laughs, bringing a smile to my face. Joey's such a nice guy, sometimes I wish I was attracted to him instead. I'd probably have a better chance of getting together with him. He's a pretty open guy, happy to date either sex. What a flirt! "We're gonna watch a movie over in one of the other rooms before we head out. You in?" "Sure, why not?" I reply. And it's true. Why not? It'll give me an opportunity to see my crush. Maybe if we watch something scary I can cuddle up with him. "All right then, come on," Joey prods, grabbing my arm. "It's gonna start in a few minutes!" Deciding not to protest, I let myself be dragged across the hall. The door's partially open, so Joey and I just barge in. Chris and JC are already settled in, but I don't see Justin anywhere. Joey lets go of my arm and drops onto the couch next to Chris. JC is leaning against the headboard of one of the beds. There's plenty of space next to him; it's the perfect opportunity. As I'm walking over, Justin suddenly bounds across the room, and jumps onto the bed next to his best friend. JC laughs and throws an arm around Justin, who quickly snuggles up against him. Typical. I shouldn't be disappointed. Has it ever been any other way? But I can't help it. I let out a sigh as I go to sit on the floor in front of the couch. I know I shouldn't, but I glance over at JC and Justin. They're whispering to each other, leaning close. So close, in fact, that their lips are almost touching. Justin say something that makes JC laugh, and the brunette buries his head into Justin's chest. Here comes another sigh. Why me? Why not me? I wish I was up there instead of Justin. I know I shouldn't be jealous of the time they spend together, but JC gives so much of his time and attention to Justin. They're always together; whenever I try to talk to JC alone, Justin always manages to find us. Worse, JC never seems to mind. I know he doesn't realize that I love him, but it hurts anyway. Well, it looks like the movie's about to start. "Halloween"? Great, Justin will be all over JC. I know he doesn't mean it like I would, but it sucks to watch someone else doing things that you only wish you could do to the person you love. "Aaaaah!" Great. Not a minute into the movie, and it's already started. It's not that scary, Justin. You can get your head out of JC's chest already. It's going to be a long movie. I hope I can last. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you thought ^_^ The address is above. Oh, and to anyone who reads "Devotion," don't worry, I'm still working on it! I just needed a break, so I wrote this. It's a pretty big change of pace, so I hope it was readable! -Angel1313 ^_^