Only Under the Covers
This is a sort of a writing experiment for me. I like to try different things and if you have read my other stuff you'll notice this is in a deliberately different style. Make of that what you will but I hope you enjoy. Other stories are in the works.
If you want to contact me email krischrandes@protonmail.com
Support Nifty!
I never saw Keith's dick. But I felt it plenty of times. I held it. Stroked it. And once or twice, sucked it. Looking back, what we had together was not a completely healthy thing for either of us. But it was what I needed.
It started when we were both freshmen in high school. Keith was a year older than me. He wasn't dumb but he was a little different. I'm sure these days they'd have a name and a program for him. But back then they just held him back a year and hoped he'd catch up. Keith was a big kid. Intimidating to where no one messed with him. Well-liked but no one invited him into any groups. I befriended him. I was attracted to him. We liked the same things. And when I was with him no one bothered me.
Don't get me wrong I wasn't trying to use him. I really liked Keith and we did like the same movies and shows. He was gentle and kind to all people and animals. Back then I thought he was gay like me. But I now realize it wasn't that simple. He never told me he was gay. He never told me he wasn't. He didn't think in those terms. I once told him, "I'm not sure I like girls" and that was as brave as I ever got then.
Partway through the year I became homeless again having lost the group home I was staying at. Keith convinced his parents to take me in. They had fostered kids before but not recently. But they made room for me setting up a small bed in Keith's room.
Keith's parents were accepting of his social issues, but they would not have allowed their son to be gay or hang out with a gay kid. I often heard his dad using the hateful term common at the time. I won't write it here. Of course they never figured out what we did together. I'm sure it would have been bad for both of us. And no one at school ever knew either. When I was not with Keith other kids would say, 'Where's your big manly boyfriend?' but it was just the sort of thing kids said. They didn't know what we did. Or that I really did want Keith to be my boyfriend.
Most times when we did something together it was late at night when we were both awake for some reason. The house was small, old, and tired. The floors creaked whenever someone walked around and we were never surprised. When it was late and the house would get quiet, sometimes Keith would ask, "Will you do it?". And we both knew what "it" meant. I would come to his bed, get under the covers with him, and touch him until he had an orgasm. He never let me have the lights on or ever see him naked. Not even in the dark. He touched me back sometimes, stroking my erection, but it was mostly one-sided. I didn't mind. I really liked making him feel good.
But there was one special night that I still re-live in my old age. One night that changed me. It started the same as always. He asked the question. I came to his bed. He was already hard and I started stroking his erection through his pajamas. I got bold and whispered to him that I wanted to try something.
"What?" he asked.
"I want to try this naked," I said. I was scared of what he might say.
"Why?" he asked.
"I think it will feel good," I said.
"You want me to be naked?" he asked.
"Both of us," I said. "Can we try it?"
I could tell he was thinking it over and I waited patiently. My hand was still slowly stroking his covered erection.
"Ok," Keith said. "But under the covers."
I immediately shimmied down my shorts and underwear then pulled off my shirt. I tossed my shirt beside the bed. At the same time Keith was taking off his pajamas. He sat up to unbutton his top and put it carefully aside. Keith was careful like that. Everything had a routine. He pushed his bottoms off and shoved them to the end of the bed with his feet, then pulled them out and folded them on top of his shirt. Somehow keeping us covered the whole time.
"Ok," Keith said.
I reached out my hand and grabbed his erection again and started stroking. Keith moaned. I scooted closer until I was touching him, worried he might pull away, but he pushed his body back against mine. I got bolder and started running my hand over other parts of his body. I rubbed his hairy legs, traced up his stomach and chest, always coming back to stroke his dick. I noticed Keith was starting to breathe fast and I realized I was pushing my hard-on into him.
Then to my surprise Keith pulled me to him. He grabbed me with both arms and pulled me on top of him. I think he could have done it by muscle alone but I gladly helped by climbing on top of him. I put my arms around him too and we rocked back and forth. Our bodies pressed together and embracing. I could feel my orgasm building too soon. I didn't want this to end and I wasn't sure if it would be ok to let it happen, but we kept rocking. Keith grunted and I felt the warmth of his orgasm between us and that was too much for me. For some reason I tried to stop mine but it was too late anyway. I tried to stay quiet but my moan escaped as an embarrassing squeak. I spasmed and came in multiple waves as Keith held me tight. It felt like two full orgasms back-to-back. I never felt that big a release before or since.
A long moment later, still wrapped in his arms, Keith whispered, "Did you come?" His voice right in my ear sent shivers through me and my whole body quaked.
"I'm sorry," I said. I don't know why.
"It felt good," he said. Keith was still holding on to me with both arms and I didn't want to let go but I started to tense and try and get up. Keith pulled me back down and said into my ear, "I love you."
And then he let go. I didn't know what to say. I reached down and grabbed my shirt and started cleaning us up as best I could. I wiped both of us off while Keith waited silently. When I rolled off of him he held the blankets to make sure he stayed covered. I knelt naked beside his bed and reached around until I found my shorts and underwear. Just before carrying those back to my bed I leaned close to Keith's ear and said very quietly, "I love you too." My heart was pounding faster than when I'd orgasmed.
A little while later Keith was asleep and snoring. I don't know if he got dressed or not. I lay awake for a long time. I should have been enjoying the glow, but I was consumed by guilt and fear. I knew I pushed it too far and I wondered what would happen the next day. Would we actually be boyfriends or would he kick me out and never talk to me again.
It was neither. We never talked of it in the day. We just went back to the way things were. In the day we were just buddies. In the nights we continued on as before, but always in the dark and always under the covers. I don't know why this was important to Keith but I knew not to push him on it. And sometimes, when we thought it was safe, we would both get naked under the covers again. A lot of nights all we did was hold each other. We often said 'I love you' but always in the dark and under the covers. I know with all my heart that Keith did love me. But I realize now, not like I loved him.
I was moved to a new home at a different school for the rest of high school and I didn't see Keith for a few years. When we got back in touch, he'd had a series of jobs eventually becoming a long-haul truck driver. He was good at it. He was thorough and careful. And he said liked it because it was just him and the windshield most days. He got married to a kind woman, had two kids, and seems happy. I see him and his family often and I get to be the uncle who spoils the kids.
I accepted who I was. I married my husband when it became legal in our state. He knows about Keith. Knows I still love him. He says it's good we were there for each other. He says he can't be upset because I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for Keith. He's right. Back then what I needed was not the sex. I needed to know someone could love me.
My other stories are at http://www.nifty.org/nifty/authors.html#krischrandes
If you want to contact me drop a note to krischrandes@protonmail.com, I lost the hotmail address. I'm slow to answer but I do, and I appreciate comments.
I like themes of first times, "breaking the ice", a little bit of emotional connection, and feet. My stories tend to be more about the lead-up.