Title: One True Angel m/m/CELEBRITY/BOYBANDS Author: Carter E-Mail: nicksxtacy@sympatico.ca Pairing: Nick Carter/Other
Warning: I do not know, nor have I ever known/met Nick Carter and thus I do not mean to imply anything about his sexual orientation, or life in general. All other characters are my own creation and are no one that you know. This is simply a work coming from my imagination, and I'd expect it to be taken as such. If you are in any way offended by homosexual romances and/or sex, or if you are not of legal age to be reading this, please do not continue.
Author's Note: Some of you may recognize me as the author of "Open Arms". Just to let you know, this is not a part of Open Arms, but just a one time (?) short story that I wrote, hope you enjoy it.... it's quite a bit different from Open Arms but it's still about Nicky. So now without further ado, I present you with "One True Angel"
-Carter (nicksxtacy@sympatico.ca)
The boy stared at himself at the mirror and let out a huge sigh. "Not perfect, not perfect at all. Hell..not even close, but it's the best I can do." He wasn't sure if he'd spoken out loud or just to himself but there was no one around, and that's the way he wanted it. It wouldn't be very long before the hotel room would be buzzing with people rushing back and forth helping him prepare and making sure everyone and everything was set for this evening's festivities. But for now, for this morning, he needed to be alone, to reflect, to pull himself together before the big event. He half laughed, half sighed once again as he struggled to decide for the millionth time if he was doing the right thing. It wasn't the fact that the world didn't approve, or that his parents didn't want to have any part of it, no, he was concerned with his own emotional stability. It had been a roller coaster ride to get here, and now he didn't know if he was ready to get off the ride and settle into a more tame existence. The lows had been pretty bad, nearly fatal even, while the highs had been amazing. "Yes" he said to himself, "I am ready for this. The stability, the normalcy is what I need, what I've longed for, so why would I push it away now?". He straightened his tie for what must have been the hundredth time for the day and thought of how easy it would be to just keep tightening it until the life drained out of him as he'd longed to do so many times before, then scolded himself for letting the thought into his mind.
Taking one last look in the mirror he turned and exited the bathroom and headed into the main bedroom of the hotel suite. He stole a glance at the clock silently counting down to the big moment as he walked over to the stereo and pressed play. It had always been his security blanket. The way some people's voices could ease his pain, his sorrow, his fear, and even sometimes his loneliness amazed him. If it hadn't been for the music, life would probably have taken a much different path and he for sure wouldn't have been here today. The sounds of Mariah Carey's "Hero" filled the room and took the man back to a place in his mind from years ago. He remembered first hearing the song when he was in the sixth grade, he had only been eleven at the time, but now, here he was, twenty years old and the song still had as much meaning to him now as it had back then. He softly laughed to himself as he thought back to those pre-pubescent years and the innocence and confusion they had harboured. If only things had been that simple all along.
It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
The haunting tune brought back memories both good and bad if his adolescence and he allowed himself to drift into the thoughts and the memories. It wasn't for long though as he was quickly awakened from his daydream by a soft, but distinct knock at the hotel room door. He glanced quickly back at the clock as he headed towards the door realising that he had lost track of time.
You can find love, if you search within yourself
And that emptiness you felt will disappear
He didn't bother to ask who it was, the quickening pace of his heart told him it would be one of only two people. He threw open the door and the men on either side of the doorway just looked at each other for a moment taking the sight in.
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on.
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive.
"You look." they both began at once and then they both paused to let the other one speak.
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth,
That a hero lies in you.
"Beautiful." it was as if they had planned to say the words, yet it did not seem off, or humorous to either man, everything just seemed right. For Jamie although it was always a shock to hear anyone call him beautiful, and he didn't quite believe it, it still seemed just right coming from Nick.
Nick walked into the hotel room, wrapping his arms around the younger man and kicking the hotel door shut at the same time. "Nick! What are you doing?" Even as the words left his mouth, he prayed that Nick would ignore him and continue his assault. It felt so good, so right, yet he knew, for this to happen, right now was so terribly wrong. Nick loosened his tight hold of Jamie to allow them to look at each other. Nick pressed his forehead to Jamie's; their noses just touching , their eyes staring deep into the other's soul. Jamie gave into his urges and wrapped his arms around Nick's waist, completing the embrace . Jamie's entire being was in turmoil at how perfect this felt. All his life he had longed to feel needed, to feel loved and more than anything to be loved by Nick Carter. And he had come to terms with the fantasy, forcing himself to realise that it was just that, a fantasy. And now here it was. In his arms, Nick loving him, the way he had loved Nick for so long, yet he was doubtful.
"Nick, it's.." before Jamie even knew what he was going to say next, Nick stopped him, first with the look of pure lust he was showing, and then in words.
"Jamie, please. I know what today is, I know we shouldn't, but I need you to feel what I feel, and this is the only way to express it."
"What's the only way Nick? I don't understand"
"Oh Jamie." Nick didn't finish his thought, instead he slowly lowered his lips to the other man's. Jamie had known this was coming and he resisted the urge to fight it. He needed this, he deserved this, he couldn't convince himself to stop it, even if he'd really wanted to.
The kiss was tender, yet the urgency of the moment had it's place as well, as Jamie took on more of an aggressive role as he began to lightly nip at Nick's lower lip, signalling for Nick to allow him in. The moments their tongues touched it took them each back to the moment of their first kiss. It had not been with each other, yet the feelings were quite similar. The fear of the unknown, the pressure of pleasing the other, but then the overwhelming sensations coursing through their bodies, causing them to shudder as one. Kissing Nick tasted and felt exactly as Jamie had expected, sweet and luscious, almost like biting into the season's first strawberry.
Jamie felt Nick's hand at his neck, loosening the tie that had taken so long to place perfectly. Within seconds, the tie found a place on the floor, as Jamie gave in to temptation and ran his hands up under Nick's sweatshirt. His fingers almost afraid to touch the skin, but desperate to feel the heat beneath his fingertips. As he made contact with Nick's stomach he felt Nick moan into their kiss, and then begin to slide the suit jacket from Jamie's shoulders, allowing it to join the tie on the floor. As the kiss continued for minutes, they slowly undressed each other, swaying to the music, their lips never separating but for a few seconds to allow Nick's sweatshirt to be lifted over his head. The kiss was then broken so they could each take in the sight of the other's body. Feeling incomplete not having his lips locked with Jamie's, Nick grabbed the other man's hands and let him to the bed, lowering Jamie onto the soft satin sheets and then walking over to the stereo. After a few short seconds of deliberation, Nick had chosen a CD and once again music filled the room as Nick walked back to the bed, knowing this was going to be a memory, a moment, to last a lifetime, and he was going to make sure it was special. Jamie smiled at Nick's selection of music as he recognised the song by Lifehouse.
Desperate for changing, starving for truth
Closer to where I started, Chasing after you
Nick lay down next to Jamie and lightly ran his fingers over the other man's lips, eliciting a moan from Jamie. There was no mistaking how badly each man wanted to feel completed by the other. Nick climbed on top of Jamie; each man loving the contact. Nick brought his lips to the younger man's neck and began a new assault.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.
Jamie brought his left hand to rest on Nick's head, his fingers toying with the silky soft blonde hair that he loved so much, while his right hand found his way to Nick's butt, caressing the skin and causing Nick to lightly bite Jamie's neck in response.
"I need you Nick."
"I'm here Jamie, take me." Nick crawled back up so he was at eyelevel with the other man. The words that went unsaid, yet were conveyed by looking into each other's eyes outweighed the actual spoken words by volumes.
"No, Nick, I want you to make love to me." before he heard Nick's response, Jamie knew what the words would be, so he continued, "I'm sure baby. I'm sure."
Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation, you take all of me.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.
Nick took his time, and was as gentle as could be. There were to be no regrets, and he didn't want to hurt Jamie at all.
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go.
I don't know what I'm diving into
I'm hanging by a moment here with you..
They made love, slowly and deliberately, their fingers intertwined, foreheads resting against one another's and eyes never leaving each other's. Nick's love filled Jamie both metaphorically and physically. When Nick reached his climax he pressed his lips once again to his lovers', causing Jamie to release between their bodies as well.
There is nothing else to lose,
There is nothing else to find
There is nothing in the world that could change my mind
There is nothing else..
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
Hanging by a moment here with you..
As they both came down from their soaring highs, Nick completed the experience by giving Jamie one last mind-blowing kiss. As he got up off the bed and began to get dressed, he took an envelope from his pants pocket and handed it to Jamie.
"You have to promise me that you won't read it until after the ceremony."
Jaime was confused, but also too worn out to argue. He watched Nick quietly leave the room, knowing that they'd see each other in just a few hours. Jaime got up from bed, retrieved the suit jacket from the floor and placed the envelope in the inside pocket, feeling, at the same time to make sure the ring hadn't fallen from the pocket as he headed into the bathroom to have another shower and get dressed again.
Just a few hours later, Jamie stole a glance at Nick as they shared a look and a smile. Despite the joyous occasion, a few lone tears slipped from both men's eyes as Jamie was directed by the priest to place the ring on his groom's finger. There were few dry eyes in the chapel as the assembly of friends who had gathered to witness the marriage of two men destined to be together took in the scene and it's perfection. They were always so happy together, and it was obvious to anyone just how perfect they were for one another. Jamie stared at the man he was marrying. The perfect way his hair looked, whether he had just woken up, or had worked on it for hours. The way his skin seemed to glow and radiate an energy that filled Jamie's heart with joy. And of course, his heart of gold, which never ceased to make Jamie fall deeper in love with him with each passing day.
Jamie let out a quiet sigh, as he realised that he was doing the right thing. From the moment he met this man, he knew he would spend the rest of his life with him, beside him, behind him, wherever need be. They were complimentary to each other in every way and it was as if the heavens had reached down and guided them together. As Jamie heard his groom complete his vows, Jaime made eye contact with Nick one last time and felt a slight pang of pain, before turning his attention back to the priest .
"Do you Jamie, take Silvio to be your lawfully wedded husband from now and for all of eternity?"
"I do."
The crowd cheered as the ceremony ended and Silvio was allowed to kiss Jamie. As the newly wed couple linked hands and walked back down the aisle they were showered with cries of support from their loved ones. The entire scene, and wedding had been perfect. As the ecstatic couple passed Nick, Jamie could make out the words Nick was mouthing to him, and he knew he had to read the contents of the envelope as soon as possible.
As the newlywed couple sat together in their limo, Silvio grabbed the awaiting bottle of champagne and began to struggle with the cork. While Silvio was fighting with the champagne bottle, Jamie took the time to open the envelope and read the simple handwritten note that was found inside.
Dearest Jamie,
You made the right choice. I wish you all the best, and all the happiness in the world, and I just want to say, Thank you. Fr loving me for so long and so strongly. Though I didn't know it for years, you have always been my number one fan, and the one person to love me truly and honestly. I just wish I had been able to realise it sooner, but now I'm blessed to at least have you in my life as a friend. Thank you for loving me and know that I will always love you more than that.
I'll always be your one true angel,
Nick Carter
The end.
Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated
Carter, nicksxtacy@sympatico.ca