This is my first story that has chapters! My other stories are Hayden's Story and Gavin's Got Game, they're here under the High School section, I also have a story called The After Party, which is under the college section. If you like this story then you should check them out because there are some similarities except this one doesn't have sex. So if that's what you were looking for I'm sorry. My shorter stories may have sex but this story will contain no sex, there may be references to sex, but I will not go into detail.
If you like this story, contact me at wah.stories@yahoo.com. I strongly encourage it. Also, If you want to be on my e-mail list to find out when the next chapter comes out, please include that in the email!
-Spencer's perspective-
It's finally Christmas Eve, Mason's and Brennan's families will be here any time now. Mom was freaking out, as usual, and Megan was lounging around on the couch. I was kind of I between the two, inside I was hyperventilating and freaking out while on the outside I was keeping my cool and helping Mom clean the house.
After it was all done, Mom and I joined Megan on the couch. I began to think about what the others were doing. Macy and I had talked on the phone the other day, she was doing just fine, she found out that she actually has some cousins around her age on her dad's side, normally she sees her mom's family and her mom is like ten years younger than the next youngest sibling and her mom waited `til she was thirty before she had kids, unlike her siblings who started in their early twenties, so all her cousins on that side are much older than her. She's even told me about a few who she thinks would be cute for me and has informed me that one of them, who is seventeen, is actually bi so she could totally hook me up with him.
Lizzie is dying down in Mexico; she hates her whole family. She did, however, tell me she learned how to cuss in Spanish from her grandfather, the one person she seems fond of down there. The main reason why she hates her family is because of all the little kids that are there running around and screaming their heads off, when I tried explaining that's how we see her, she showed me she could actually cuss in Spanish.
Kurt and Daniel are doing fine too, well Kurt is actually still sick so he's not having much fun, but what can you expect when you go head first into a giant ass pile of snow. Daniel told me that Emma is talking to this boy there, it turns out their families are actually friends so they may actually see each other more that what they thought. I'm happy for her, she really deserves someone and right now Lizzie is not the girl for her. Daniel has also informed me that Austin, that's the boy's name, is actually pretty awesome, but he then added that he's not as awesome as me, which made me blush. I hope that his parents will let him come to Cali some time so I can meet this mysterious boy.
While all my friends are having fun somewhere else, I've mainly been hanging out with Brennan and some of the random cheerleaders who hang with him. Lily calls me sometimes to remind me about the GSA thing, which I'm still interested in, but we don't really have much else to talk about. Mason has been hanging out with either Tyler or Canyon now so I really don't see him as much as I wish I could. Also I'm guessing that Mason is actually dating Tyler, mainly because I know Canyon has a boyfriend, Mason told me himself and I've actually met the dude once, but he seems more distant that what he used to be, meaning that the only other person he hangs out with is the person who is receiving the attention he used to give me; Tyler. I guess I'll just move on with life and see if things would go anywhere with Brennan or Macy's cousin.
-Mason's perspective-
"Come on, Mason! We need to be going!" Dad shouted from the bottom of the stairs. Right now I was trying to get Garret going and I was also on the phone with Tyler, I just had to tell Spencer how I felt about him today and I needed him to talk me through things.
"Garret, are you ready?" I shouted through his door. "What if he says no?"
"He won't say no. I can tell that he likes you as much as you like him." Tyler said.
"Yeah but I have to pee!" Garret shouted back at me.
"Well hurry your little butt up!" I replied. "Everyone keeps saying that but there are times I feel like he's interested in someone else. Maybe he actually likes Brennan and just doesn't know it yet. He did invite him over today."
"You're over reacting, dude. He and Brennan are just friends, he just didn't want your little cousin to be all alone on Christmas. Is that a crime?"
"No, but I'm still not sure."
"Give me just a second, Mom needs me to help her with something."
"Mason! I can't find my belt!" Garret complained.
I opened the door and went in, "You are the laziest person I know." I said to Garret.
"How is helping my mom being lazy?" Tyler asked.
"I was talking to Garret, not you." I told Tyler.
"Who are you talking to?" Garret asked.
"Tyler."
"Yes?" Tyler replied.
"Okay, fuck both of you, here, talk to each other." I handed the phone over to Garret.
"Hi!" Garret said, he really looked up to Tyler, for some reason the minute he saw Tyler he wasn't his normal self and was very talkative.
"Mason! Garret! We need to go!" Dad shouted again.
I saw Garret's belt draped over the back of his desk chair. I rolled my eyes and grabbed it, I then picked Garret up and slung him over my shoulder, which made him giggle as he talked to Tyler. I then carried the two, technically three if you want to include Tyler, although he was over there electronically, down the stairs and to the van.
Halfway down the road, Garret then remembered he had to go pee, I could hear Tyler laughing on the phone. We had to turn around and take Garret back home before he exploded. He ran inside and quickly used the bathroom, both Dad and I threatened him before he got out. When he did finally come back to the car, he still had the phone glued to his ear.
Surprisingly we made it from home to Spencer's house without another interruption and surprisingly Garret was still talking to Tyler. As we walked up the sidewalk to Spencer's front door, Garret said bye to Tyler and hung up, it was now time for him to turn shy again.
Spencer's mom greeted us at the door, we didn't even have to knock. She leaned down and made sure to give Alex and Garret a hug, Garret isn't short by any means, it's just his shy nature makes him seem much younger than what he truly is, making adult women want to crouch down to hug him. Next Megan and Spencer greeted us, Garret and Alex did say hi to them, last time they just blushed and hid behind Mom. Megan got up off the couch and asked Garret and Alex if they wanted to go upstairs to her room to watch some TV while the boring adults talked about silly things, to which they eagerly replied to with a nod. I never would have guessed Megan was the type of girl who was great with kids. My mom, Spencer's mom, and my dad then went into the kitchen to start preparing for dinner, Dad was one of those dads who refused to let the women do all the work. That left me and Spencer alone in the living room.
"So, you talk to any of your friends?" I asked.
"Yeah. They're all doing fine. Macy's trying to set me up with one of her cousins. He actually isn't that bad looking."
"But he's nothing compared to me, right?" I asked smiling.
"Yeah." This time I could see the sparkle in his eye that my mom and Tyler had told me was there every time he talked to me.
"So, have you heard from Brennan?"
"He'll be here soon. We can go out back or we can go up to my room or we can wait for Brennan here." Spencer said.
"You can choose." I told him.
He sat down on the couch. "We can sit here."
I walked over and sat down beside him, so close that I could feel the heat emanating from him. "So..."
"So, how are Tyler and Canyon?"
"Canyon's doing good. He and his boyfriend are going good and steady. And Tyler is doing great. I'm not really sure how he and Lily are doing though. How are you and your man?"
"I don't know, how are we doing?" Spencer asked, he blushed.
"Well, we're doing good I guess."
"Yeah?" His hand lightly touched mine.
"Yeah." My hand slowly slid on top of his.
"Mason!" Alex shouted. This is one reason why I hate her. "Come help! Megan is eating Garret!"
I rolled my eyes and got up. I started to follow Alex up the stairs, Spencer was right behind me. We got to Megan's door and Megan was tickling Garret and making animal noises. Again, Garret is a little too old for stuff like that, but everyone thinks he should be that young.
Alex started pointed and shouted "Look! Look! He needs help!"
"Well, you'll need help too!" I then grabbed her and started tickling her. She started to laugh and squirm. I tossed her down on the bed next to Garret. "Wanna switch?" I asked Megan.
"Why thank you, kind monster." Megan said in her monster voice. We then switched dinners, she took Alex and I took Garret. Occasionally I would look up and see Spencer smiling over at the doorway.
After a while we had to stop, Garret was on the verge of peeing himself. Alex got up and tried to become serious again, she straightened her hair and her clothes out. She sat down on the bed and then said, "Mason is daddy monster and Megan is mommy monster. Is Spencer your monster baby?"
"I don't know about the monster part." I said slyly. I could just feel something between me and Spencer tonight. I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him now.
"You're a pervert." Megan said laughing.
"What's a pervert?" Alex asked. That made Megan start to stutter and me and Spencer laugh.
"It's nothing. We'll tell you about it when you're older." Mason said.
"What will you tell her when she's older?" Brennan asked from the doorway.
-Spencer's perspective-
"What will you tell her when she's older?" Brennan asked from the doorway. I turned and smiled.
"What's a pervert?" Alex asked again.
Brennan got down on his eyes and was eye level with her. "It's another word for a boy." Brennan said.
"So daddy is a pervert?" Alex asked. Mason and Megan were on the verge of cracking up. Brennan was staying completely serious the whole time.
"Most likely. But don't call him that, only call Mason a pervert."
"Okay. Thank you, Brennan."
"You're welcome, sweetie." Brennan then stood up. "So, you guys wanna head out and leave Megan with the little ones?"
"Sure." Mason said laughing.
"Bye pervert!" Alex said, which made me, Mason, and even Brennan nearly started laughing.
"So, when did you get here?" I asked Brennan.
"I literally just got here. Your mom told me she saw you all running upstairs and I caught the last bit of the pervert conversation."
"So, what do you guys wanna do?" Mason asked.
"If you all don't mind, I'd like to just chill and watch TV." Brennan said.
"That's cool." Mason said.
We went in to my room, sat on my bed, and turned the TV on. I was in the middle, which was hell. On one side I had Brennan, who I've cuddled with a thousand times now and who is the perfect size for me, and on the other I have Mason, who I've been longing for forever now. I decided I'd let them decide who'd be my cuddle buddy.
It only took a few minutes before Brennan scooted in and rested his head on my shoulder. Mason didn't see this though. He started to scoot a little closer to me. His hand then barely touched mine. There was no way in hell I could focus on the TV, but both Brennan and Mason had their eyes glued to the screen while my eyes went back and forth between the two.
Mason's hand was finally completely on top of mine when Brennan rolled over onto his side and draped her arm across my chest and held me. Mason saw this and his hand quickly slid off of mine. I wanted to push Brennan off the bed and grab on to Mason, but that would have been rude. Mason then started to slowly scoot away. Again, I wanted to push Brennan away, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
After whatever show was on went off, Brennan and Mason decided to play on my Wii. I was getting burnt out of it so I just sat there and watched them play. Brennan was kicking Mason's ass and making sure he knew it. It was nice seeing the two cousins bond, but I was also judging each of them as to who would be the better boyfriend. I've "been" with Brennan for a while now and it's been really nice. But then Mason and I have like had a relationship forever now without having one. I've always known he's wanted me ever since the kiss and I'm pretty sure he's known I've wanted him, we've just never made the move to make it official.
"Boys! Please come down here." My mom said. "Dinner's not done but I want us all to spend some time together, it's Christmas."
"Just a minute!" I shouted. The two cousins finished the game they were playing and we headed downstairs to join everyone in the living room. Since there are only three of us who live here, we only have two couches and a love seat to sit in while in the living room, thankfully when my grandma passed she gave us her dining table that could expand to fit up to fifteen. My mom and the Glovers' were sitting on the first couch, Brennan's parents were sitting on the second couch, and Megan and the little Glovers were sitting on the loveseat.
"You can sit with us if you'd like, Brennan." His dad said
"Here, Garret and Alex, come sit with mommy and daddy so Mason and Spencer can squeeze onto the loveseat with Megan."
"Great." Megan said, which made everyone laugh.
Alex and Garret got up, pouting, and sat in their mom and dad's laps. Brennan sat down with his mom and dad. Mason and I crossed the living room and shared a cushion so Megan wouldn't bitch.
"Sorry there isn't a lot of room. I really should have gotten something else for you all to sit on." My mom said.
"It's completely okay." Mason's mom said.
"I remember when you all had a family get-together back a few years ago." Brennan's dad said. "Can you say crowded." All the adults laughed at that, even my mom although she had no idea what was going on.
"I think it's great that our sons make each other happy." Brennan's mom said to mine. I was praying to god thing conversation wouldn't come up until after we've all ate, I just knew it would make dinner awkward.
"I know!" My mom said. "Spencer comes home smiling now all the time and all he thinks about is Brennan."
"Brennan and Spencer are dating?" Mason's mom asked. She then glanced over at Mason. "How come you never told us? We could have had a get-together to celebrate your cousin and best friend dating."
"I guess I forgot." Mason said. His hand WAS somewhat wrapped around my waist, but he moved it away when this conversation started.
"Well I'm happy for you, Spencer. I was hoping there'd be a way you all would join our family." Mason's mom said. She glanced over at Mason and I could see a hint of sorrow in her eyes.
"I know this will embarrass the boys..." Brennan's dad started to say.
"Please don't tell them, Dad!" Brennan pleaded.
"I have to, son. It's just so funny."
"To you it is." Brennan mumbled.
"Well, anyways, I found out they were dating when Spencer and Mason came over to work on their project. Mason and I were back in my office typing and printing it all off and touchin' the paper up, it really takes a while to get that old paper look. Well I went out back to ask Spencer and Brennan if they wanted a drink since it they were outside and it was pretty hot in my opinion. Well, I got back there and found these two making out. I couldn't help but smile and remember when I first kissed my lady."
All the adults laughed and "aww"ed. I wanted to die, and by the look on Brennan's facem he did too. I somewhat hid my face in Mason's arm, which gave me an excuse to get closer to him.
I stayed where I was as the conversation continued, sometimes one of us teens would jump in and say something, most of what they talked about was stupid adult things but every now and then we thought it got a little interesting. By the time the ham was near being done, the women got up and headed into the kitchen to start on all the sides.
The rest of us did a little swticheroo in the living room. The fathers took the loveseat; Megan and the little ones took the first couch; and Brennan, Mason, and I took the other couch. Apparently Mason and Brennan's dads haven't talked in a while, they are brothers, so they mostly started to talk between themselves to catch up on how things were going. Megan was playing one of those stupid games with Alex where you have to like snap and clap and hit slap hands and all that stupid crap and she was also trying to teach Garret how to play too.
Thankfully, Emma called me while we were just sitting there, it was getting awkward because none of us guys were saying anything to each other. "Just a sec, Emma is calling me. I won't be long."
"Hey!" Emma said.
"Hey." I left the living room and headed up to my room.
"I just wanted to call and tell you that I think I'm in love."
"With Kurt? I don't think that's going to work, hun."
"You know who I meant! Austin is just soooo sexy and soooo awesome. I think he's going to visit over the summer. He's also talked to me about being his New Years' kiss!"
"I thought you'd be home by then?"
"We're going to celebrate an early one." Emma said, I could tell she was smiling."
"I hope you two get married and have thousands of Asian babies."
"Shut up. We barely know each other. So, what are you doing?"
"Before you called I was awkwardly sitting between Mason and Brennan."
"Oh yeah, they came over. How is that?"
"Awkward. I really want to tell Mason how I feel about him and I'm pretty sure he wants to tell me, but me being my stupid self, I invited Brennan and now it's like I'm on the Bachelor and I have to choose between these two guys. It really sucks."
"You'll figure it out. You always do the right thing."
"I dated Trey, which was probably the stupidest thing I could have done and then I don't know what's going to happen between me and Daniel. I'm in love with him, but it's like we can't be together. He's scared something will happen between us and now that I think about it I don't want to lose him either. I really love him, Emma."
"Hey." Daniel said. I wanted to die. I absolutely wanted to go downstairs, take a kitchen knife, and stab into where my heart should have been.
"Speaker phone." Emma said.
"Turn. It. Off."
"Sorry. I was talking to Austin earlier and my arm hurts from holding up the phone."
"I hate you."
"I love you too." I heard a click. "K. You're good now."
"You just made things worse you know."
"I didn't say his name at all. It was all you."
"Still."
"Gotta go! Austin's calling me!" She then hung up and didn't give me a chance to say bye. I couldn't help but smile at how excited she sounded, normally I'd be pissed that she did that but this time I was okay with it.
I went back stairs and found no one in the living room. Just as I reached the bottom of the stairs, Mason came out of the dining room. "I was just coming to get you. Dinner's ready."
"Thanks." We then quietly walked into the kitchen. Just like I thought, the only seat open was between Mason and Brennan. I'm just wondering for Channing Tatum to barge in and say he's on the verge of dying if he doesn't eat immediately.
"I can't believe the year is almost over." Brennan's mom said. "It feels like just yesterday my baby was starting his freshman year.
"Mom, I still am a freshman."
"I know but it's been four months since you've started and it doesn't feel like that."
"Our baby only has one more Christmas with us for sure." Mason's mom said. "He's going to be a big college football player and I'll never see him again." She then started to lightly cry.
"Mom, I won't miss Christmas with you. I'll quit the team if they think I'll miss it."
"If you do that and lose your scholarship, you can bet you'll be here ever Christmas because I'm not paying for you to go and goof around when you could be in the NFL." Mason's dad said. That made everyone laugh. We all knew well enough that if Mason ever lost his scholarship, his dad would take up another job to help pay for Mason's tuition. I'm sure if I needed help he'd do that for me.
The food was absolutely delicious. My mom is a great cook, but Mason and Brennan's mom have some really good family recipes that really bring out the flavor of the ham. I could tell Megan really enjoyed it too, she was stuffing her face. When I made a comment on it, she laughed and some food came out of her mouth, which made the ladies gasp and the little two love her even more.
-Mason's perspective-
I came here thinking I was going to have a boyfriend, but now I'm not sure what's going to happen. He told me that he and Brennan are just playing around, but it feels like they're actually dating. And I didn't want my mom to know about them "dating" because my she would be against me making a move and I can tell it really hurts her that he's now "off limits."
"You haven't said much, Sweetie. Is everything okay?" Mom asked me.
"Yeah. Just thinking."
"About what?" she asked.
"Or who?" Dad said, the adults had a little laugh about that.
"It's nothing."
"Will you please tell us, baby?"
I looked up to find everyone had their eyes on me, everyone looked concerned. "I'm gonna step outside for some fresh air. Sorry I'm ruining your all's dinner." I really wanted to cry right them. It was so hard to sit there and not.
Once I was outside, I just sat on the front steps. I wanted to just go home and watch a movie and be lonely. It's so hard to love someone and then see them happy with someone else. Sometimes I wish I never bumped into Spencer on that first day of school. It's so hard for me to look at him and see him happy with someone that's not me. I know that sounds selfish but I can't help it.
"Hey." Brennan said as he sat down beside me. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing. You can go in and not worry now."
"I can tell it's something. Is it Spencer?" I didn't say anything. "You know I would try my hardest to get him to love me but he's so bent on you. Earlier when I was cuddling with him in his room while you were there, I just kept thinking to myself of how big of a jerk I am for doing that to you. I'm sorry if I've like been in the way tonight. I'll give you and Spencer some alone time so you can talk things out. Even though we don't really know each other, you're still my cousin and I can tell you really like him."
Brennan then got up and left. He didn't wait and listen to me complain about how Spencer didn't want me, he didn't listen to me gripe about how bad my life is, he just told me he's basically letting me have Spencer. I got up and got myself to walk back inside. My mom immediately got up and hugged me. "I'm so sorry baby. Maybe another day." She whispered into my ear.
We pretended as if nothing had happened and went on with the meal. Every once in a while Spencer would glance at me and I could tell he was worried. I wanted to tell him that everything was alright and hold his hand, but that wouldn't work
Dessert was delicious. My mom brought some of her famous brownies, Brennan's mom brought this very delicious cake of hers, and Spencer's mom made some of the best cookies in the world. There was also ice cream to go along with these warm treats so all of us men dove right in and devoured a majority of it in a couple minutes.
After dinner, we all went back into the kitchen, this time I was on the floor with Alex and Garret while everyone else was on one of the couches or loveseat. I didn't mind laying down with Alex and Garret, I realize sometimes that I don't really spend the time I should spend with them.
"Hey, I gotta go get something real quick. Would you mind coming with me Bren?" Spencer asked. It kinda stung that he didn't want me to come along, but I tried thinking of situations where Spencer wouldn't be kissing my cousin. They left the room and the rest of us continued our conversation.
It had been about thirty minutes since Spencer and Brennan left the room. Spencer's mom was starting to worry. I decided I'd check on them to see how things were going. The main reason why I wanted to go up there though was because I wanted to know what they were doing, I know it's wrong but I really didn't care at the moment.
As I neared the top of the stairs. I heard the two talking in Spencer's room. I slowly walked over and listened to what was being said. Spencer was talking to Brennan. "I love you and I want to be with you. You don't know how hard it is for me to look at you every day and not kiss you on the lips. You complete me. I know you probably don't want to be with me, but I can't hold in how I feel for you. I love you and I hope you love me too. I've been hurt so many times and you're one of the few people I can trust right now."
I couldn't hold it anymore. Like a fifteen-year-old girl, I darted off with tears streaming down my eyes. I knew it was too late for me. I'd never have Spencer. Him and Brennan are too close and I fucked up by waiting so damn long.
As I ran down the stairs, I heard Spencer shout my name. I didn't stop. My mom and dad looked at me as I ran past. My mom said my name as well but I didn't listen. I had no car since I rode with my mom so I just started to run down the sidewalk, I didn't care where I went as long as I was away from here.
-Spencer's perspective-
Right now Brennan and I were in my room. I was staring at Mason the whole time we were downstairs and I couldn't take it anymore. I asked Brennan if he would help me find something, I had to talk to someone.
When we got up into my room, I let out all my feelings I had about Mason. Every little detain I could think of, I blurted out to him. Brennan's resolution was to just tell him how I felt. I scoffed at the idea.
"What am I supposed to do? Go up to him and be like, `I love you and I want to be with you. You don't know how hard it is for me to look at you every day and not kiss you on the lips. You complete me. I know you probably don't want to be with me, but I can't hold in how I feel for you. I love you and I hope you love me too. I've been hurt so many times and you're one of the few people I can trust right now.' That wouldn't work." As I finished that statement, I heard someone running down the stairs. I ran to my door and opened it, I caught a glimpse of Mason. "Mason!" I shouted after him, he didn't stop.
I quickly grabbed my jacket and ran after him. I knew it would be pointless since he's an athlete and I'm just a nerd, but I had to give it a try, like in every sappy love story, he always finds him. My mom asked me where I was going as I ran past them, but I didn't answer. Hopefully Brennan would fill them in.
There was a little bit of snow in the ground, a shocker in Cali, and I could see Mason's faint foot prints. I followed them until I reached a light post a couple blocks away. Mason was standing there with his arms crossed and shivering, he had no jacket. Even from a distance I could see his eyes were red from crying and his nose was running too.
"Hey." I said. He jumped.
"Why aren't you with your boyfriend."
"Huh?"
"I heard what you told Brennan. You love him."
"I wasn't talking to him, I was asking him if I should say that to someone."
He looked up at me. "To who?"
"To you. I know we've been friends for a long time now and you may not want to be with me because of your reputation, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you Mason Glover. It has taken me months to build up the courage to tell you and I can't really hold it in for Christmas." I paused for a second. "And there's only one thing I want for Christmas. You. And if I can't have that, I would at least like to know I still have a friend in you." I couldn't believe I had just said that. It was out as if I'd planned if five months ahead.
"If you want me to tell the truth, I've wanted to be with you for a long time too. At first I denied it because of what happened when I came out at my old school. But seeing you, I thought I could take the risk and be with you. I've been wanting to tell you, but with you dealing with Trey and Daniel and Brennan, I never found the right time to tell you."
"Aren't you with Tyler?"
"Huh?"
"Well, the way Tyler looked at me at your party when you'd be near me, it was like he was jealous. And you two have been hanging out so much these past few days. I just assumed if you were bi or gay you'd be with him..."
Mason laughed. "We've been talking about how I was going to tell you how I love you. We were dating for a short while, but then he dumped me because he realized how much I love you. You know I love saying that I love you to you. It feels so right."
"I love it when you say you love me too."
Mason scooted in a little closer to me. "You know, there's a mistletoe hanging above us."
"I noticed." That's when it happened. He leaned in and I leaned in. Our lips finally met. It was like fireworks. I thought dream Mason was a good kisser, actual Mason blew him out of the water. Soon Mason's arms were wrapped around me and he was pulling me into his chest. Our lips separated and we just stood there together. "I love you, Mason Glover."
"I love you more, Spencer McAlister."
Every time I read a story of Nifty, I never read the top part, so just in case you are like me and only read the bottom portion if you liked the story, here is my email again: wah.stories@yahoo.com. Also, if you want to be on my email list to find out when new chapters come out, include that in your email. AND if you email me, please state what story you're referring to. Thanks for reading the twenty fifth chapter of my story.
I'd also like to give thanks John, my editor, and Trish, who now helps me come up with ideas for the story. Without John, this story would be LOADED with grammatical errors. Unfortunately, John is out of commision for now so if there are errors I apologize.
I am so glad semester one is over and i can get started on the second half! I did decide that I'm going to post another story with chapters here on Nifty. It is already done so you'll just have to sit back and enjoy, I know that's less fun but blame my boring life which lead me to writing at a young age :P