Firstly, I want to say I do not know nor do I make any presumptions about the sexuality of the Backstreet Boys nor any other celebrities who may appear in this story. This story is entirely the product of the sick imagination of the author.
Secondly, you should know that I am English, I live in London, and that is where at least the first couple of chapters are set, sorry, but it's the only city I really know well enough to describe in great detail!!!
Thirdly, I do not know if the Backstreet Boys are ever coming to Europe again, nor do I know their tour schedules, nor do I attempt to find them out, so this really is part of my imagination and this story is set in some fictional future where the BSB are on some European tour that starts in London, so on with the story...
On The Streets - Part 5
Brian's rooms were set out the same as Kevin's suite except the bathroom and bedroom were on opposite sides. The clock was still there, ticking on the wall and the couches were laid out in the same pattern. So, this was where they had had that meeting earlier today, I wondered where they had run off to, I just wished I could have seen it under different circumstances. Brian offered me a seat and I sat down on the couch opposite Nick. Brian deposited himself next to Nick and sat there looking at me expectantly. I finally looked up at him and looked him straight in the eye. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"No reason, it's just after everything Kevin told us today about you we're just not sure what to talk about with you." I was a little stunned at this, Brian seemed to have rehearsed what he was going to say - he didn't stumble on his words at all and he seemed to know in advance what I was going to say. "I mean, apart from Kevin, there's not much that links us together, so we could talk about your relationship with him?" I didn't like where this was going at all. Brian had a smug expression on his face and seemed to be guiding me into some trap. I nodded and rested back into the seat, not taking my eyes off Brian. "Firstly, I just want to ask, has Kevin offered you the job as our fitness instructor?" I nodded. "Good, and have you decided to take the job?"
"I'm not sure, it seems like a really good opportunity, but I'm not sure if it's really me."
"But Kevin told us that teaching was something you really loved, even if you didn't manage before, and he said that Physical Education and working out were two of your favourite things to teach or do. Wouldn't fitness instructor to five guys seem to be the perfect job for you? There's a great pay package involved, and the hours are fairly easy, excluding the travelling you have to do." My ears perked up at this, I had only been abroad once in my entire life, I would love to travel, and I think Brian latched onto this. "Yeah, if you come with us, then you get to travel all over Europe, and if we decide to keep you on even longer, you could end up travelling with us to Asia and back to the U.S.. Why, are you interested in travelling?" I nodded my head. I suddenly realised that my side of the room was being decidedly quiet.
"Yeah, I'd love to travel, I haven't been abroad that much and I would love to go to other countries, that would be so cool!" Brian smiled a lop-sided grin which made him look as devilish as Kevin.
"Did you know that Kevin is my cousin?" Whoa, STOP! What did he say? Where did that come from? Why hadn't Kevin mentioned this before?
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't know that." I had an afterthought, "But I did know that you have some problems with Kevin being gay."
"That is true, it took me a long time to accept the fact he was and I still find it to be a somewhat disturbing thought that my cousin could be that way. You see Jared, Both Kevin and I were brought up in religious families, we are both Baptists and Kevin's brother is a reverend. I have spent a lot of time with my bible trying to show to Kevin the error of his ways, but he has a hard time accepting it and he refuses to become normal, he reckons that it is the way he was born and it is who he is. I tend to disagree, as does the Bible."
I don't think Brian was expecting what I said next, in fact, I was probably pushing my luck a bit, but I thought 'what the hell' and said it: "So, did you find anything in your Bible to support your claims that Kevin is living wrongly or in a life of sin, or however you think it is that Kevin is living?" Brian looked surprised for a moment, I don't think he was expecting any competition to his views, but I thought 'why the hell should I put up with this asshole telling me that I am living in a life of sin when I know that he is just a self-righteous prick?'
"Actually, I did, I found plenty." He had a smug expression on his face, perhaps I should explain something here: my parents are both Catholics, my whole family was Catholic, most of them were devout with only a couple non-practising. I spent a lot of time when I was younger reading the Bible and throughout my teen years I read it even more, trying to come to terms with my sexuality. I studied the Bible for almost a year in University, ending with a thesis on the subject 'deconstructionism in post-deuteronomical texts'. I obviously spent a long time reading both Old and New testaments and I felt I could hold my own in an argument with this self-righteous asshole who probably doesn't even have a grasp on Basic Ancient Hebrew! God I sound like a smartass don't I?
"Perhaps you'd care to share some of your findings with me?" He turned around and leaned over to a table that was behind the couch and picked up a pocket sized leather-bound book that had gilt edged paper and in bold gold letters on the front of the black leather: Holy Bible. I had to admit, it looked a lot like my School Bible except it didn't have a motto on it like my School Bible did. "Shall we start at the beginning?" I snickered under my breath, I felt for sure that I had this guy nailed, but I wasn't going to get over-confident.
"Ok, in the Book of Genesis, the first book of the Bible, the Beginning of creation" man this guy was being over dramatic "God created man in his image - man and woman, he made two, different beings to be together and rule over the Earth together."
"Ok, Brian, first of all, Christian societies have always been chauvinistic, so men have always dominated and women have been subordinated to men. So your idea that God created man and woman to rule together over the Earth is ridiculous and secondly you are a Christian right?" I knew he was a Baptist, I was just confirming his beliefs, he nodded. "Ok, turn into the New Testament, turn to Galatians 3:28, it says that anyone who has been baptised in the name of Christ is no longer Jew or Gentile, Slave or Freeman, or Man or Woman. The final point is the removal of sexuality - fully justifying what Kevin and I do as the words quite specifically say that being with a Man or Woman no longer matters - in God's Kingdom they are the same thing." Brian was taken aback to say the least, he stammered out something about checking the passage and he did and he couldn't come up with a response to my argument. "Care to try again Brian?"
"Hold on, yes, in Genesis 19, the sin of Sodom, homosexuality is seen as a vile thing here and it causes the deaths of the populace of the city, how do you account for that?" I smiled gently and Brian saw it, and I think he caught on that this was another questionable reference."
"Ok, first of all, the sin of Sodom was not the supposed sin of same-sex affection, the men of Sodom attempted to sexually abuse the visitors at Lot's house, Brian you have to understand that gang-rape is not a regular part of homosexual living. Secondly, if you note verses in Ezekiel 16:48 to 49, then you'll see that the sin of Sodom was not homosexuality but not helping the poor and needy when you are rich and prosperous yourself, if you are Manichean then can I also suggest that you look in Matthew verse 10:15." Brian was once again shocked and was flicking furiously through his bible trying to disprove me. He also got a flush of red in his cheeks and a frown in his face when I said the word 'Manichean', I almost chuckled at that, but managed to restrain myself. I could see Nick sitting at the other end of the couch still. I hadn't paid much attention to him, but he was now looking at me very closely, with a look of wonderment in his eyes. I don't think he could believe that I knew the Bible as well as Brian - hell Better than Brian, he had post-it notes to show him where the references to homosexuality were, I was bringing this up from memory.
"What about Romans 1:26-27, it says that pagan men worked shame with other pagan males and they lusted after one another. You cannot deny that that is a reference to homosexuality, it is basically saying that lust for another male is shameful." He was very smug at this point, I think he thought he had me stumped, but come on I spent years trying to justify my sexuality in accordance with my religion and to my priest and the one in the next town, I didn't need to be lectured by this upstart freak.
"Brian that refers to idolatry, if you look in the last line, it says men being punished for their false belief, they were eunuch priests and cult prostitutes that Paul was criticising, not homosexuals, in fact homosexuality in our modern sense of the word was scarcely practised in the Ancient world, but you can carrying on looking for something that isn't there if you want." Brian's eyes grew wide.
"What about Leviticus 18:22? That one you cannot argue against - it says quite clearly that man lying with man is an abomination. You cannot deny that and there is no possible way to argue against that."
"Actually Brian there is." Brian was getting quite upset and loud at this point and he was trying to shove his bible in my face. "Firstly do you understand Ancient Hebrew?" He shook his head no. "The word translated as abomination in that verse in Ancient Hebrew texts is To'ebah. This word isn't translated as abomination elsewhere in the Bible, in fact at other points in the Bible, it applies to certain other things, do you know what those other things include Brian?" He shook his head no again. "No? That word applies to pork Brian, to menstruating women among other things. Now do you feel like alienating all your fans out there by telling them that they are abominations at a certain time every month? Or do you feel like giving up pork and telling all the people who produce or eat pork that they are abominations? No, I didn't think so, have you run out of references yet?" Brian was looking up at me with a submissive look on his face. "Well then let me remind you of a few. Firstly, Matthew 22:39, thous shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. And, secondly, I John 4:8 - the belief that God is Love, if I love Kevin then surely nothing can be wrong with that?" Love Kevin? Where the hell did that come from? Brian stood up and smirked at me, he had that smug expression on his face.
"Maybe there are two things for you to note as well, Jared: Firstly, the Devil can cite scripture for his purpose and secondly Matthew, Chapter 19." He threw the bible into my lap. With that he stomped out the room, slamming the door to his bedroom, hard. I looked up and saw Nick looking at me with a smile on his face.
"That was amazing man, I can't believe you beat Bri at a Bible bashing competition! That was awesome, how the hell did you know all that stuff?" I told Nick about how I studied the bible since I was about 10 onwards and how I did my thesis in it, and he nodded excitedly. "You have to join us on the tour, perhaps you can knock Brian out of his self-righteous mode!" I laughed and then thought about what Brian had said as he walked out, Matthew 19, what was that again. I thought I knew, but I was hoping that I was wrong, and so I checked using Brian's bible. I guess Nick picked up on my change in mood. "What's wrong man, don't worry about what Brian said, we all really want you to come on tour with us, well I know that me, Howie and obviously Kevin do, but we really want you to come man, please?"
"Why has Brian pointed out a chapter on divorce and the sanctity of marriage in the Bible for me to look over?" Then it struck me. "Is Kevin married?" Nick's head dropped down and he looked at the floor beneath his feet. "Oh my God! He is isn't he? How could he not tell me about that?"
"No, no, Jared you don't understand! Kevin got caught with a male prostitute in Seattle, and so to remove any suspicions about his sexuality, the Firm started to release all this info about Kristin and Kevin getting married, he went through with it only cos of our management, it's a sham marriage, they don't love each other, they're like best friends or something, they've known each other since I think it was when Kev started working at Disney World, that was like years ago, and Kristin is just a really nice friend who agreed to help him out, but they're basically on a permanent separation, so it doesn't matter. He tried living with her for a couple of months, heck he even tried sleeping with her, but it made him feel weird and he got quiet and we eventually protested to management and they said they could work with a separated marriage and so that's the situation we've had for like the last six months or so. Brian knows this, it was probably just him trying to upset you after he lost an argument and him probably biting back at Kevin for not telling us that you were a prostitute straight away." I nodded at Nick's words, but didn't really like them, I mean of course I've been with married guys, I mean they're my biggest market, but I don't normally date them, heck I've never dated one!
There was a knocking at the door, and Nick got up and answered it. It was Kevin, and behind him in walked the fat guy who had forced me to leave in the first place. Kevin looked happy, he was bouncing in and sat down on the couch. Then the door knocking started again and outside was standing Howie and A.J.. They also walked in. Howie said hello to me and A.J., seeing me, nodded and sat down at the other end of the couch to me. The management guy was not so happy looking as Kevin, but he wasn't angry anymore, that was something, he held out his hand to me and introduced himself as Matthew Harding, the Boys' tour manager. I nodded and shook his hand before sitting down again.
The fat guy spoke up: "Where's Brian, he needs to be here for this." I looked around to Nick, not willing to point out that I had sent Brian into his room cos I whipped his ass!
"He's in his bedroom, probably crying his eyes out cos our boy Jared here whipped him in a Bible-bashing competition." All the eyes in the room, which had turned to Brian's bedroom door when they heard that he was in there instantly revolved in their sockets and landed on me. "He proved to Brian that homosexuality isn't bad according to the Bible, Brian's probably in there trying to re-evaluate his belief system!" Nick was laughing and soon everyone else was too. Once it died down, I noticed Kevin was looking at me with the same wonderment that Nick had used when I was slowly whittling away at Brian's belief system as he put it, but I also saw affection in Kevin's eyes. I smiled back at him, and he smiled at me. "So," Nick carried on. "Why's everyone here?"
"Well Nick, Matt and I wanted to tell you that we've come to an agreement over Jared, that he can join our tour as fitness instructor, if he so chooses, and if he doesn't that's ok too. I'm just really hoping he does," his eyes flashed over to me for a second. "But also, I wanted to talk to A.J. and Brian about the whole thing with Jared, but I guess Jared over here has already dealt with Brian, so...A.J.? Do you have any problems at all with Jared joining the tour?"
"HELLO?" They were talking about me as if I wasn't even there, and they were rearranging my life for me! "What do you think you're doing? I haven't said that I would join your little tour, and nor did I say I would even stay with you until the end of the week! The only reason I'm even here is because your goons picked me up as I tried to leave! I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to rearrange my life for me and I can make my own decisions, regardless, Kevin, of whether you friends agreeing with my life choices or not. I will also not take up a job where it is necessary to get some form of consensus from the people I will supposedly be teaching, the idea of selective teachers cannot possibly work, even if I am only teaching fitness and training! I'm leaving Kevin, I'll come back when I've thought about whether I want this in my life or not, but don't try and change my life around for me, because it won't work." I saw unshed tears in Kevin's eyes. I leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, but at the last moment, I pulled back. He reached around behind my head and pulled my head down to his. I felt his lips crash onto mine and his tongue entered my mouth almost immediately. I almost gave up in that moment and agreed to stay, but I needed more time to think, about this, about the changes it would make to my life and most of all about Kevin. I hadn't fallen for a person like this in a long, long time and I wasn't about to be pulled into something that wasn't right for me just because of some quick crush or a pretty face. I walked out and at that moment I heard a strangled sob coming from Kevin. I turned and looked back as I walked out the door. I saw Kevin sitting on the couch still, he had tears rolling down his face, Matt was standing back, giving the guys there space as they all comforted Kevin, Nick was hugging him with his arm around his shoulders, Howie was sitting in front of one knee, rubbing his leg up and down and A.J. was talking gently to him, holding his hand and rubbing his arm gently. I yearned for this, I knew I did, I wanted to be surrounded by people again, but it's not me, every time I get surrounded by people, I lose them I couldn't do that again, could I?
"Bye Kevin" I murmured down the hallway and when I did, I heard him release another strangled sob and A.J. hugged him close. The other three and Matt all shot me glares and I walked out the door, shutting it gently behind me. The two bodyguards were still sitting at the end of the hallway on either side of the lift and kept a close eye on me as I entered the lift.
"So, you joining us on tour?" Mark asked me.
"Yeah, and what's with you and Kevin?" the other one asked.
"Nothing, and I don't know if I'm joining the tour." The strangled sobs of Kevin started to filter down the hallway. The two guys instantly picked up on this and entered the lift after me. Once they pushed the doors stop button so that we remained stuck on this floor, they came up very close to me.
"What did you do to our boy?" Mark asked in a very quiet, threatening tone.
"Nothing, I just told him to leave me alone while I decided whether I wanted to join the tour or not. He's the one who's getting so upset, it's not my fault." I was starting to get worried.
"So you told him to leave you alone huh? Are you so dumb? Are you so blind and self-centred? Huh?" I didn't understand, so I shook my head.
"Didn't you ever wonder why Kevin gets prostitutes in every city we stop in? I mean look at him, do you really think he couldn't get someone better than you huh? He's lonely, he always has been, he needs someone and he thought it was you, but you didn't notice did you huh? That's because you're a complete prick." His fist quickly connected with my abs and I doubled over in pain. Even with the strength of my abs, this guys biceps were the size of my head and he just pounded straight through my stomach. My back hit against the wall of the lift and I doubled over in pain, trying to get my breath and keep my vision clear. Suddenly the other guy's palm connected with my face on a swift upward slap which just about crushed my nose and battered into the bridge of my nose. I started coughing and I could see my vision going blurry. As I dropped to my knees, I could see between the guys legs and I had my hands clasped over my stomach, still trying to draw in enough breath to stay awake. Then I heard Brian's door opening, I didn't see anyone walk out, but I let out a strangled moan, "Kevin!" in the vain hope that someone would hear and would come to my aid. I didn't see much else before my vision faded and I tasted blood in my mouth...
To Be Continued... End of Part 5
Is anyone reading this out there, I know you are Jimmy, but is anyone else? Am I going way too slow? I mean I have only covered about 24 hours or so in about 5 chapters, so should I speed up? Should they get together or should this end as a story of unrequited love? I would really appreciate anyone saying anything about it as I have no idea what I'm really doing. Oh yeah, and I'm sorry about the really long argument in this chapter, but I wanted to get Brian's objections out of the way, and what better way I thought than to debase the belief system of most of the Western world? lol Just kidding, though I would really like some feedback from anyone!