On the Flip Side

Chapter 6

Lily and Rachel stood there. Their eyes looked as if they were on fire. That's where I saw the hate. Not in Lex's eyes, but in theirs. To tell the truth, I was about to piss my pants...

"Uh...hi girls."

Rachel stepped up and started the covnersation.

"Hi NOTHING, ass."

We just stood there for a minute afterwards, them staring me down, me confused as hell. Just another day in the life of a Howard. It was starting to get weird, all the silence.

"Yeah, well, this has been lovely, girls. We oughta do this again sometimes."

"You're a real jerk, y'know that?" Lily chimed in.

"Oh wow. WOW! What did I do NOW???"

"You know damn straight what you did."

"Hey, let's pretend I didn't and why don't you just CLUE ME THE FUCK IN!!!!"

Wow, I was pissed. I never usually get this pissed. Something made me go berserk then, though. I don't know what it was but something about that day had just amassed all this anger.

"You want to know?" Lily retorted. "Fine. You broke our best friend's heart last night."

"...WHAT!?"

"You heard me."

"WHO? WHERE? HOW... WHAT!?"

"Don't play stupid, Howie, GOD!"

"You don't know what I went through last night so don't even--"

"You told Lex you were gay."

...Ok maybe they did know. How, though? This was a real invasion of privacy.

"Did he tell you what he did AFTER that?"

"Yeah. He ran home and up to his room to call us."

"Oh so he wanted to spread the news a.s.a.p, huh?"

"NO, asswipe. He was giddy as hell."

"Why would he be-- oh."

"Yeah. He was thrilled. This was like a dream come true."

"Wait a minute...are you trying to tell me... Lex is... no."

"Yes. He's had the biggest crush on you since freshman year. Why do you think he even went OUT with Kate?"

"'Cuz...he liked her?"

"No. He did it to get close to you. You and her were friends, remember?"

"But... I don't understand. Why did I break his heart?"

"Let me take over."

Lex came up inbetween Lily and Rachel. Oh crap. He looked bad. Really bad. Almost as if he'd been crying. I can't believe this is happening. PLEASE tell me this isn't happening. This is the LAST thing I need.

"Are you sure, Lex?"

"I'm positive, Lily. I just need to talk to Jacob alone."

He looked me in the eyes as he said it. Those hurting eyes. Those eyes where I could see right into his soul. Lily and Rachel walked away, still pissed. And then there were two.

"Lex, what's going on? I'm so confused."

"You... I mean... Listen. I know it's not your fault..."

Damn straight it wasn't!

"...and I know I reacted in a weird way when you told me..."

Weird? No, that's an understatement.

"...but... you've gotta understand. I was so overwhelmed and happy. I thought it was a dream. I didn't think about what you'd get from my reaction."

"I got a lot, Lex. I got disgust, I got anger, I got fear. That's what I got. I cried for half the night."

"Why...?"

"I thought I lost a friend I'd been getting close to..."

"Oh."

"...and I thought I'd never get the chance to tell you how I felt."

"How did you feel?"

"I was in love with you, Lex. That simple. I don't know how, I don't know why, but there was something there ever since I saw you--"

"That told you it was love."

"Yes! I knew it wasn't just another crush. I knew it was different. You were different. But... you spit it in my face."

"I didn't mean to!"

"So wait, tell me why I broke your heart?"

"Well... I meant to tell you how I felt. Meant to say I was sorry for reacting that way, but I thought you'd understand. I walked up to your house and I saw muddy lacrosse gear outside your door. I... wasn't sure why but I got a bad vibe from it. I started walking up your driveway and...I looked up at the side of the house. That's when I saw you and...Matt. And... I saw him kiss you. And you were so close. And... I... oh God..."

He started to drip tears down his face. I was about to cry too. I couldn't believe what was happening. Now I was really confused. Was Matt just a rebound from Lex's rejection? Was I just too eager to get into someone's arms? I still felt something for Lex but, how was I supposed to know how he felt; that this all would happen in the course of 48 hours? How would Matt feel if I told him about this? I really felt something for Matt too. And he felt something for me. But now it was it was so unsure.

"Please, Jacob." He cried. "Please give me one chance. Please. I don't want anyone else ever. Just you."

"Lex--I... I mean. Please don't do this."

The deserted hallway sent a cool breeze our way. We were tucked in the corner in complete isolation from anything else other than ourselves.

"Alex...I... oh God..."

That's when it happened. A kiss. A deep kiss. Something that was different from what Matt and I shared. I wasn't sure if it was better, but it was different. It was a dream. It had to be. I had some cosmic connection with the teenage boy on the other end of my lips and it was finally established. My tongue slid into his mouth. This was the most sensual kiss I had ever participated in. Our tongues massaged each other and gently explored. He had grasped the back of my head and my hands were both on his backside. When we finally broke, it had seemed like hours even if it was only a minute. I sat there, watching as Lex smiled through his tears. I was smiling back, blissfully forgetting everything that happened the night before. Reality snapped back into my head. I couldn't believe I had done that. I got up abruptly.

"I-- I need..."

"What's the matter, Jacob?"

"I need to go... please... I need some time alone."

I didn't wait for a respond. I ran down the hall as the bell rang. I kept running and running until I flew down the steps and out the door onto the soccer field. The day had become dismal and gray and rain poured down as hard as it could, abusing the field beneath me. I ran a hand through my hair as it slowly got soaked. I walked behind the bleachers and sat underneath them. I buried my head in my hands and let out one loud scream. It wasn't fair. Everything was just so... confusing. I couldn't make this decision. It was too hard. I leaned against the metal beams and fell asleep in the rain. Cofused. Hurt. Disatisfied.

"Jake...JAKE!"

I looked up to greet Brian in nothing but a pair of soccer shorts and a wifebeater. He looked sexy as hell. I couldn't help myself. I reached upwards and used him to help me get up. I leaned against his shoulder, unable to distinguish the rain from my own tears.

"C'mon... I'll take you home..."