Chapter 4
I just stared, squinting at the figure in the doorway. Yeah, that was Matt and here I was, all sobbed out looking like crap. I started to close the door in his face but he put his hand up.
"Jake, what's wrong? Were you crying?"
I looked away and started to close the door again. I was being such a jerk but I didn't care. I was so tired and depressed. Of course I wanted him to come in but I couldn't let him see me like this.
"Jake, please!"
I stopped and looked up. He really seemed concerned. I couldn't believe it, I hardly knew him outside of school. I opened the door, finally caving in and collapsed on the sofa. I held my head down the whole time.
"What happened? I got worried when you didn't show."
"Show...?"
Oh CRAP! The lacrosse game. I forgot all about it. I felt like even MORE of an ass but I still didn't say anything. I started to cry right there. I was being so selfish. I couldn't even talk. Matt started rubbing my back. I tried to form words but all I could do is cry.
"It's ok, you can tell me, Jacob."
Did he just call me Jacob? Why is that such a turn on? Ok I had to focus. I felt dizzy. When I finally calmed down, I started to talk.
"I can't tell you."
"Why not? You need to get it off your chest. If something was so bad it could make you cry... well then..."
He pulled me into a tight hug and I lost my breath. I mean, I REALLY lost my breath. So much had been happening lately. All of a sudden it got kind of dark. Actually, all of a sudden, I was out cold.
I opened my eyes and looked around. Everything was really fuzzy. I looked up and saw Matt with a relieved look on his face.
"Thank God, you're ok!"
He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I was confused and woozy. I fell forward and into Matt. We toppled down onto the couch. My face looking into his. I stared into his eyes for what seemed like an hour.
"Matt..."
We finally snapped out of it and I got up off of him. It must have made for an awkward situation because Matt got off the couch.
"Jake... I think I should be going. Maybe this was a mistake."
"No it's ok, Matt, sit down."
He sat down and looked into my eyes. Here we go again. I looked away and started.
"Matt, listen, I should have just told you from the beginning but I was afraid that you'll-"
"That I'll what?"
"Well...that you'll just run out."
"Why would I do that?"
Ok, now not only did I have to tell him my problem with Lex, but I ALSO had to tell him that I was gay. I couldn't do it. I started to choke on my words.
"I... I can't..."
Matt got up.
"DAMNIT! Listen, I'm sorry, Jake. I can't stay. T-there's just so much going on right now. I'm starting to get these weird feelings and I-"
I sort of just sat up and looked at him.
"I'm gay."
I just stared at him. I was shocked. This was a mean sort of joke. Something wasn't right. There was NO WAY in hell that Matt was gay. He was pretty damn popular, especially with the girls. There was just no way that all this time he had been hiding this.
"No..."
"Shit. I'm sorry I said it. I should have just left."
Oh man, he was starting to tear up. He moved for the door again. I had to say something. I stood up and walked closer.
"I... I am too. I mean, the whole reason I was crying was because... I thought I loved someone but I... was... wr-"
He leaned in and we kissed. It was a light kiss. His lips were so soft. I pressed mine harder against his. All these months we had been in class together, I never realized how much I had wanted him until now. We parted and I just stared.
"I'm falling for you, Jacob."
"I... think... I... am too."
I pressed my lips against his again and this time, worked my way past his lips with my tongue and into his mouth. We worked at massaging each others' tongues. I couldn't stop myself. We were both breathing heavier than I think either of us has ever. His hand was on my chest and my hands were placed on his firm ass and lower back.
We sat there for an amazing three hours, kissing. I never felt so happy in my life. Somehow, I was complete for the first time ever. This is what I had been missing all this time. This is what I needed in my life; Matt was what I needed. It was about 11:30 pm when we finally stopped. He rest his head against my shoulder and I ran my hands through his soft hair. I got up and disrupted our bliss.
"Jake, where are you going?"
I out stretched my hand and picked him up off the couch.
"C'mon. I wanna show you something."
We both walked up the stairs. There was only about two hours left until my parents came home and these were going to be the best two hours of our lives. We walked into my parents room and I grabbed a planket off their bed. I opened the window. It was cool out. I removed the screen and jumped out.
"What are you doing!! Are you nuts?"
"Shhh... You'll wake up the neighbors!"
"Are you on the roof?"
"Come on and find out!"
Matt stepped out of the window and onto the roof. It was pitch black and the stars shown brightly through the clear night sky. I wrapped the blanket around myself and then around Matt, pulling him into me. We both sat down ontop of the bottom of the blanket on top of the roof. Our warm bodies pressed against each other as we looked at the stars. It was like something out of a movie. It was almost perfect. But next to Matt, it was no where near perfect. We looked at each other. His eyes glittered in the starlight. His smile made me melt. I buried my head into his chest and tried as best as I could to make our bodies one. He bent his head down and whispered into my ear.
"All these years; All these years of looking for something and you were it. You were my... Italian Stallion."
I chuckled lightly.
"You did NOT just say that did you?"
He laughed too.
"I love you, Jacob. I know I do. It just seems so right."
"I love you too, Matt."
We stared up at the stars, holding each other. And then we fell asleep in each others arms...
~ ~ ~ TBC I know, I know, how evil of me =P Sorry this took so long but was it worth it? Any comments? Mail to jjjyyhotbod99@yahoo.com