The following is a work of fiction. No part of this story may be commercially published or reproduced without the expressed written consent of the author.
It's long, it's amusing. The sex is at the end.
"Oh my father, why don't you talk to me now?" - Erasure
"Oh Father"
By Andrew Renz Copyright 1997
I shouldn't have been doing it the first place, but she was my friend. We'd worked together on the company's translation project for the last two years, but the job was about to terminate, and so too would her work-sponsored visa. The two of us getting married was the only way for her to remain in the States.
I didn't mind agreeing to the wedding. It was the pre-marriage counseling I wasn't so keen on. She didn't want a judge to marry us. It had to be before God. This meant we had to meet with the parish priest for several weeks for marriage counseling classes. I didn't want to go through all the hassle, but she'd looked so hurt when I'd said 'unh-uh' that I caved. This marriage of convenience was turning out to be anything but.
"This is so dumb," I moaned before entering the church.
"I really appreciate it. I really do," Gabriella said, squeezing my hand.
"Let's do this." We entered the church and headed to the pastor's office.
Gabriella knocked, "Father, we're here."
I was expecting your traditional short, fat Irish padre to greet us. This must be the House of God because there he was before me in the guise of Father Tomas D'Oro. He looked like no priest to me, but like one of those Latin porno stars: Jet black hair, very short on the sides, heavier on top; olive complexion, five o'clock shadow. He was dressed in tan Dockers, white loose collared shirt, and a black V-neck vest. Chest hairs sprung from the opening in his collar.
These classes were a really good idea.
"Gabriella, so nice to see you. And you must be Shane," he said, taking my hand in his to shake.
Nice, thick forearms. Dark hair.
"Really nice to meet you," I responded.
I could feel a light sweat break out on my temple. 'Be cool. Maintain,' my mind said.
He turned to walk behind his desk, "Please, sit."
Nice butt.
'I'm goin' to hell for this,' I told myself.
We proceeded with the class. I tried to stay focused on the matter at hand but kept finding my mind wandering to thoughts that would soon be punishable by untold numbers of 'Hail Mary's' or excommunication.
The session was finally over.
"Well, we'll see you two next week," Tomas said.
"'Night."
I said little until we got the car when Gabby said, "Well, what did you think?"
"It wasn't so bad."
"See, I told you. And Father D'Oro?"
"Seems like a nice guy."
"And...?"
"And he seems like a nice guy. Sure doesn't look like any priests I've ever seen."
"I knew you'd like him," she said smugly.
"Oh, you think you're so smart. C'mon, he's a priest. A priest!"
"A good looking priest. And I saw you watching him."
"Did not... Okay, I was. So what? I can still look. I'm not married."
"Yet."
We laughed and continued on our way to her apartment.
The classes continued. I found myself anticipating them. I spent the hours studying the way his mouth moved when he parted those thick, wet lips; watched him flex his jaw while he listened to us speak; admired his chest when he would put his arms behind his head and lean back in his chair.
At the end of class one night, he told us he would be out of town the following week so there wouldn't be a session.
He must have seen the look of disappointment on my face, "Is there a problem with that?"
"Oh, um, no. Just thinking about something."
"Well, then we'll see you in two weeks."
Our classes normally met on Mondays and since we weren't going to have one next week I decided that I was going to take an extended weekend and head to Chicago.
My old college roommate Sergio said it was fine if I stayed with him. He always says it's all right, because we always end up having sex when I sleep there.
Sergio and I made a nice couple. He was about 5'7, 140 lbs. of Mexi-man. And he has the most intense eyes. He looks street tough, but it's a facade. And the sex... the sex is always great, very physical.
"Okay man, you and me, we're goin' out taaanite. We're gonna find us some action," Serge said before he'd even closed the door behind me.
"There's a new Latino bar down on Broadway that you are gonna love. And you don't find us brownboys back in Ohio like you do here. And this might be your last weekend with Serge as a free man."
"Ah, but let me tell you about the priest that's talking to Gabby and I. Man, I have never seen a guy that looks like him. I jack-off thinking about him all the time."
"Jacking-off over a priest? You, guy, are goin' to hell for that," Sergio commented, "I need a beer while I think about this."
One beer led to several. Soon we were working on a good buzz and decided the time was right to head out.
There were several really hot looking guys entering the bar when our cab drove up to 'Matador.'
"This isn't like that yupster crowd on Halsted. You're only gonna see men here," Serge offered when entered the unmarked door. The sounds of techno beckoned us inside.
We walked up to the front bar and ordered a coupla beers. Sergio rested his chin on my shoulder and squeezed my ass, "You feelin' lucky? I can smell sex in the air tonight." He reached around and palmed my crotch until my dick started to thicken.
"Ah, yeah baby. You're ready," and with that he led me deeper into the club.
It was dark, lit only by the beer lights over the bars and the strobes from the dance floor.
"Papito, I'm gonna take the once around, see who's where. I'll be right back." Sergio was gone.
I leaned against a table and pulled out a cigarette, reaching into my pocket for a light. I readjusted myself.
"No. No. Nononono. Nononono. Nononononono," the speakers blared; the predominantly Latino crowd danced. And continued to danced. I bought another drink. Sergio was still gone; a long once around.
"Shane, man, c'meover here. I got us a little thing lined up if you're interestested, and I think you will be," Sergio had snuck up behind me.
"Aw, I don't know... What kind of thing?," I asked cautiously, "What's he look like?"
"Just c'cmon. I guarantee you won't say no."
"I'm not promising anything," I said while being pushed toward my fate.
"Go. He's over there," Sergio hustled us on.
From where I stood he looked good: Levi's, black shirt, black boots, nice ass, broad shoulders.
Sergio tapped him on the shoulder and shoved me into his line of vision, "Here he is. Shane, this is Luis. Luis, Shane."
Luis turned to face me.
"Oh, Jesus!," I gasped.
"Told you you'd like him!," offered Sergio excitedly.
We stared at each other's face, Luis and I.
"Excuse us a minute," I said quickly, yanking my buddy by his arm.
"I can't do this," I anxiously breathed to Serge.
"What, man? I thought you were hot for him?"
"Oh, God. Listen, that's him."
"Him who?"
"Him. The guy I was telling you about earlier. The priest! Tomas! Our priest!"
"No fucking way"
"Yes, way."
"Small fucking world," laughed Sergio while looking over his shoulder to make sure Luis/Tomas was still there. He wasn't.
"Man, he split. I gotta find him," and Serge took off.
I stood in my place a little bewildered from the experience. My beer was no longer. I inhaled it.
Minutes passed. A thousand thoughts ran through my head. Finally Sergio returned with Father D'Oro reluctantly in tow.
"It's okay. I caught him as he was leaving," he said with a great deal of satisfaction. "So I hear you two know one another?"
Neither of us spoke. Sergio looked back and forth between us. Realizing we didn't know what to say, Serge took over.
"Okay," he said to Tomas, "so what's your name, Luis or Tomas? I need to get this straight."
"Tomas," the priest said somberly.
"And you know my friend, Shane, right?"
"Yes," he said with an audible gulp. He shifted his weight from left to right foot steadily.
Sergio continued with the forced confrontation.
"So Shane, this is the guy you jacked off over, no?," he queried.
Tilting my head back I let out a breath from my lips. I was angry and embarrassed. Tomas lifted his head in surprise at the last question.
Sergio pressed the question, "Well?"
Staring into Tomas' eyes somewhat defiantly I answered with a brave, but simple, "Yes."
All eyes were on Tomas, awaiting a response. Slowly the words registered in his head. A wry smile formed, replacing his agape glance.
Sergio grinned; the great match-maker.
"Okay, I'm gonna go get us all a coupla drinks. I think we could all use them. I know I could. Don't go nowhere. I'll be right back. You two, um, get to know one another," offered Sergio before ambling to the bar.
"So...," awkwardly, slowly the word escaped my mouth, "I suppose we both have a lot of explaining to do.
Tomas cut me off, "Yes, I suppose we do. But first I think maybe you should confess your sins to me, cleanse your soul. What was that about jacking-off over me?"
"Listen, Gabriella and I aren't a real, ya know, couple. She asked me to marry her and I agreed only because she's about to lose her citizenship. I like her a lot, but that's where it ends."
"Then why the classes?"
"Her idea, not mine. I was completely opposed to them... well, until we came to the first class and I saw you. Then they didn't seem like such a bad idea."
"So you're into guys then?"
"Yeah, I am. And I guess you are too."
"It's very hard for me, as I'm sure you're aware. I love the Church. It's my life. I've known for a long time that this was the path I wanted to take. And I've known for a long time that I've had feelings I wasn't supposed to have. I thought I could push those feelings back with my work. As you can see, I'm a fallen man. As soon as I saw you here I freaked. I didn't know what to do, that's why I left when you were talking to your friend. I can't jeopardize my job, that's why I go out of town, usually here in Chicago, when I need to release. You've got to swear you won't tell anyone. Please. Please."
"Hey, I won't tell if you won't."
"Deal."
We both smiled.
"I gotta say, you look damn good. Oops, sorry," I apologized for cursing.
"Not a problem. I'm in no position to judge tonight."
"I had no idea about you," I said.
"Good, that's the whole idea."
"What about you?"
"About you? No, no clue. But I admit I've always thought Gabriella was a lucky woman. You're a nice looking guy."
"Thanks. So are you," I announced sheepishly.
"In fact, I think you're extremely good looking," Tomas said with a wink.
"Well, you boys had time to get to know each other while I was gone?," Sergio was back, drinks in hand.
Tomas and I grinned at each other.
"Yeah we have. It's cool," I said.
Sergio breathed a sigh of relief, "Good, I was afraid I was gonna have to choose between you two. And I know we go back a ways, " he said patting my shoulder, "but...," he nodded approvingly at Tomas.
"Well, maybe nobody will have to choose between anyone tonight," Tomas slyly added.
"I still don't know about this. This is really kinda weird for me," I said before taking a long, confidence-inspiring swig of beer.
Tomas spoke, "I'm on vacation. Forget about what you know about me. I don't know you. You don't know me. I'm just some guy you met at a bar."
"And went home to have a three-way with while my soon-to-be wife is sitting at home."
"Oh, God! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, wow. Yes, Steve!," groaned Gabriella, writhing on the bed, her hands firmly gripping the headboard.
Steve pumped her harder and harder, "I'm gonna cum, baby." ***
The three of us stood in the living room, lit only by the glow from the streetlight outside. Thanks to the alcohol all inhibitions were gone at this point.
Sergio placed his hands on Tomas' hips, running them up and down the front of his thighs. Tomas closed his eyes and rolled his to the left, resting it on his shoulder.
I stepped behind Tomas, sandwiching him between my friend and I. Placing my lips on his neck I closed my lips around the muscle that disappeared into his shirt and sucked. He reached behind and placed his hands on my ass, pulling me firmly against his back.
Sergio's hands moved upward, away from his legs, and onto his muscular chest. He unzipped the black shirt and zeroed in on Tomas' Adam's apple. He kissed it and softly moved his lips down onto the thick down of chest hair, kissing the cleft between those firm pecs.
Tomas breathed a contented sigh.
I put my hands on his head, turning his face toward me. I kissed his chin, gently biting it, before taking his lower lip into my mouth, his top lip resting on mine. He kissed me, grinding our mouths together.
Sergio backed up and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor. His taut abs were accentuated by the shadows created by the window light. He kicked off his shoes and stuck a finger into his pants, popping the top button.
Tomas had opened his eyes to watch the strip act. I continued to work his neck, untucking his shirt and running my hands across his torso; up across his hairy chest and down over his abs, smooth except for the treasure trail that raced into his waistband.
Slowly, Sergio unzipped his pants, placed his hands across the top of his black jeans and forced them to the ground, before stepping out them and kicking them against the wall.
He was naked except for his well-filled, white briefs, which looked even whiter in contrast to his brown skin. The front was stretched. The tip of his cock was against his stomach, trapped there by elastic.
My pants were soaked with precum. I groped my way down to the front of Tomas' jeans and squeezed his hard cock in my hand. He shivered.
Moving behind me, Sergio began to unbutton my shirt. Tomas turned to face me, to better enjoy the show. I pulled his shirt from his arms, pulled his naked chest closer and extended my tongue to his nipple. I swirled my tongue around, lightly flicking his pec, flattening the hair with my saliva.
My shirt was off. Sergio rested across my back, kissing my shoulders. He ground his cock into my ass. He put his hands on the front of my jeans, popping the button and unzipping the fly. I did the same to Tomas. There was no underwear to be seen on the man in front of me, only a thickening patch of soft, black hair.
Tomas backed away to remove his square toed, boots. He willingly stripped himself of his pants, practically peeling them off as they were almost a second skin.
The complete picture was breathtaking. His chest was firm; nice abs, not cut, but tight and flat. My eyes followed the 'V' down to his swaying cock which was surrounded dense pubic hair. It was no longer hard, but was full, plump. He was uncut. It was just a little longer than it was thick. His thighs were muscular and solid. They were coated with fine black hair. His calves were big, but were soon hidden. The boots were put back on. He was no longer a priest.
"A dios mio," I heard whispered disbelievingly into my ear. Sergio, was impressed, "And you didn't wanna go to his classes? To think what you'da missed."
Tomas grasped his dick and tugged on it firmly, in downward strokes. It enlargened quickly, standing directly in front of him. He stood there slowly, tauntingly stroking his shaft.
Without wasting any time I stepped out of my jeans. Sergio had a short attention span once our guest had started his performance. I'd been lost in the shuffle.
Sergio, noticing I wasn't wearing underwear, didn't want to be odd man out and shoved his down around his ankles. He still stood behind me, both of us admiring Tomas.
"What are you waiting for, fellas? Get over here," Tomas lustily growled.
We walked to him in a trance.
He put his powerful arm behind my head and pulled me into his awaiting mouth. He forced my teeth apart and slid his hot tongue into me. Sergio was beside me rubbing his cock against my thigh. His left hand played with the Tomas' tit.
The strength of his arms had me kneeling before Tomas' rigid cock. He swiped the skinned tip across my lips. He smelled like a man.
"Open your mouth," he muttered.
I willingly did as he asked, wrapping my full lips around his veiny, brown dick. Slowly he teetered back and forth, thrusting it in and out of me.
Sergio had crouched beside me, stroking his own fat cock while lashing out with his tongue at the point where Tomas' cock disappeared inside of me.
My cock surged; precum dripped a steady flow onto the carpet.
"You, brownboy, lick my ass, "commanded the towering figure.
Sergio locked eyes with the assailant's gaze as he moved to position himself behind Tomas, who spread his legs in a firm stance.
"Lick it, baby. Soak my ass," he breathed.
Sergio admired the high, tight ass before him, before spreading the cheeks with his thumbs and burrowing his face between them.
Tomas arched his back to allow easier access for Sergio. I moved forward on the floor to keep my grip on his cock. He swayed back and forth between Serge's tongue and my face. My cock raged.
I was bored with his cock, so I released it from my mouth. I followed the underside of his penis down to his loose-hanging nuts, pulling them into my mouth. He spread his legs further apart.
My tongue sought out the spot where Sergio feverishly licked. Our tongues touched as we both wildly tongued his ass. We were driving him mad.
He stepped away from us and walked to the back of the couch where he sat. He extended his hand into the air, silently inviting us to him. We both went to work on his cock; me on one side, Serge on the other. Occasionally the two of us would open-mouthed kiss each other when we found ourselves at the same point, our tongues having overlapped.
Sergio stood and placed his dick in front of mouth, shaking his cock. I pulled it into me, devouring him to the root on the first attempt. He sighed contentedly.
"Man, you suck cock excellently, baby," he said.
Tomas bent over from his sitting position and bit Sergio's tit, then firmly rubbed it with the back of his hand before sucker punching his other pec with the same back of his hand. Sergio let out a pleasurable, "Mmmm."
I stood. So did Tomas. We faced one another, all of us jerking our cocks.
Sergio placed my cock atop Tomas', wrapped his hand around them, and proceeded to jerk us off. His palms were sweaty. The three of us exchanged salacious glances.
Tomas positioned Sergio and me side by side then squatted before us. He took my cock into his mouth first, licking the precum off with his tongue before enveloping me in the warmth of his mouth. He then left me and went to Sergio. He alternated between us for several minutes before repositioning us so that he could slide from once dick to the other without pause.
His head swung from side to side. His spit dripped from our cocks.
Serge wanted more. He grabbed Tomas by the head and popped his cock into Tomas' mouth. Tomas' hand went behind my and pulled me closer. I put my cock against the side of Sergio's. Tomas opened his mouth wide and sucked us both. Sergio and I kissed, our tongues exploring.
I was ready to blow my load, but the action of Tomas' tongue had stopped. He way getting onto his back on the floor.
"I want you to fuck me," he said.
Sergio and I looked at each other with a 'Who knew?' glance.
"Which of us you want first, padre?, " asked Sergio.
"Do not call me that again," he demanded from below us.
"Okay, which of us you want first, mister?," mocked Sergio.
"Both of you. One over my face, the other does my ass," he answered.
I didn't wait for a coin toss. I'd known him longer. I was gonna do him first. I got on the floor and raised his legs with hands.
Sergio positioned himself behind Tomas' head, exposing his rigid cock to Tomas' mouth.
"No, your ass over my face," demanded Tomas. Sergio grinned devishly.
While Tomas began eating my friend's ass, I placed the head of my cock against his anus.
"You want some lube?," I asked.
"Taken care of. Just fuck me," he quickly answered, then returned attention to Sergio, who sat over the wanting mouth with eyes closed, bobbing up and down on the probing tongue.
Lubing my dick with a mixture of my spit and precum I pressed against Tomas' ass. I paused but he wriggled his ass forward. My cock slipped effortlessly inside. I stopped when I could push no further.
Quickly I thrust into him; our skin slapped.
He grabbed his own legs and pulled them in closer to his chest. I watched my cock disappear again and again into his hot ass. He squeezed my dick by tightening his sphincter muscles. It was a religious experience for me in more ways than one.
The tension was present in all of us; we were all ready to shoot. Sergio rode Tomas' trained tongue faster and faster, stroking his cock as he did so. Tomas was now jerking his own cock to the rhythm of the fuck. I pounded his ass with shorter and faster stabs.
Sergio's breathing grew rapid and shallow.
"I'm gonna shoot. Man, I'm gonna shoot."
His first salvo of cum blasted over the torso beneath him and onto my chest. The next landed like water droplets all over Tomas' chest and stomach, while Sergio seethed through his teeth.
My cock swelled to the point of no return. I forced myself as deep as I could into the cavern I was drilling. Throwing my head back, I moaned a growl that started deep within my soul.
"Nnngggggh....ahhhhhh...uh.....aaaaagggh."
As I shot my load deep inside Tomas, he too came. His cum shot like molten lava into the air. Drops landed on Sergio's cheek, his eyes closed and tongue extended.
The smell of sex hung high in the air. The three of us sought to recompose ourselves, to catch our breath.
"That was frickin' incredible, guys," Sergio smiled and nodded his head approvingly, flashing two thumbs up.
I leaned over Tomas, resting on his back with eyes closed, and kissed him gently on the mouth; my cock remained inside of him. He opened his eyes and smiled, mouthing 'thank you.'
I withdrew my cock slowly, not wanting the feeling to end.
Sergio headed to the shower.
"Too bad you're a priest. What a waste of talent," I spoke.
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
"Don't get cocky."
"No, I mean 'yeah, it sucks that I don't get to do this as often as I'd like."
"Well...," I offered, lifting an eyebrow.
"No, Shane. This was it. It was just a strange circumstance that brought us together tonight. It happened here and it ends here. It won't happen back home. I can't. As much as I'd like to, I just can't."
"I understand."
"Besides, you're practically a married man," he chuckled.
I laughed and rolled my eyes upward, "Ah, yeah. So I am."
Tomas was dressed again when Sergio came out of the bathroom.
"I gotta tell you, man, that I will never forget tonight," he said as he removed the towel from his waist and slung it over his shoulder.
"Me either, " Tomas said, checking his pockets to make sure he had everything, "You two were incredible. I really enjoyed myself, but I need to go now."
"Lemme give you my number. If you're ever back in town, gimme a call." Sergio scribbled on the corner of an unopened piece of mail, ripped it off and handed it to Tomas.
"Okay, see you later. Take care." Tomas left.
"We are going to hell, Sergio."
"No way. That guy is probably forgiving us while he's waiting on the elevator."
"Okay, then he's going to hell, cuz no priest is gonna absolve sins like that. And I don't think he's ever gonna bring it up to anyone."
"That's his problem, guy. I got laid. All my problems are history for now."
"Sergio?"
"What?"
"Put some clothes on."
"Man, we just had a fuckin' three-way and now you don't wanna look at my dick? Look at it, man. It's a nice dick; fat n' juicy."
"Limp."
"It's worn out, dude. Give it a couple to recuperate."
"You got all night. I'm going to bed."
"No, you're gonna shower. You aren't hauling your crusty carcass onto my sheets."
"Oh, yes I am."
"No way."
"Yeah-huh." I ran down the hall to the bedroom, Sergio yelling after me.
Gabriella and I had finished all of our classes. Father D'Oro and I shared an awkward moment at the first class after that weekend, but we never spoke of the incident again. I thought of it from time to time as I sat across the desk from him, still watching the movements of his mouth. I had made a promise to him and kept it. I had told no one, not even Gabriella, of the incident. ***
The weekend of the wedding arrived. Some one hundred family members and friends filled the church.
I waited at the front of the church for Gabriella to walk up the aisle. Sergio, my best man, stood at my side.
"I can't believe you're doing this. You didn't pay for this did you?"
The bridesmaids marched forward to the processional.
"No way. Her parents sprung for all of it."
"So how long is this gonna last?," asked Sergio.
"No idea. Doesn't matter. It's not like we love each other, anyway."
"What? You mean you don't love her? You can't do this to her," he joked.
"You and Padre ever... you know, " he raised his eyebrows up and down quickly.
"Nope."
"You got real cojones, man. Huge. That was some night. I still think about that."
"Yeah, so do I. So do I."
Gabriella now stood beside me. We turned to face Father D'Oro, who smiled over us.
He raised his arm into me air. The sleeve of his alb slipped back, exposing his muscular forearm. I could feel Sergio's stare. I looked at him and he was grinning.
"We are gathered here today, in the presence of God, to unite Gabriella and Shane in Holy Matrimony...
EL FIN