Mark and I spend several evenings together, doing fun stuff, but mostly doing a lot of talking. On a few occasions, we got intimate a bit more by kissing and holding each other. Oddly, in thinking about it, it seems as though neither of us are in a rush to move things too quickly. But it's weird because it's like neither of us wants to rock the boat, or push too hard for fear of causing a rift again. Even as we go out on dates, something seems to be drifting between us. But the last two weeks have been wonderful, and my heart skips a beat when I see his name on Caller ID, or see an email from him. I've been letting the office run itself, trying to stay out of the way of the people who know their jobs and are dedicated to operating my foundation.
I did have one dream that really upset me, and maybe that is causing my tension. That night, I had a dream that I came home from work, but for some reason, Mark wasn't there. I come home, feeling like something isn't right.
I make dinner and sit in front of the TV when I hear something from upstairs. I quietly sneak up my stairs and make my way to my bedroom. The door is slightly ajar, and a red glow comes from within. I pad quietly up to the door and open it slowly. In my bed is Mark, buck naked, and he's fucking......LESLIE???? She grips his bare back, sliding her nails up it, his ass marked with her nail prints as he grinds into her with heated passion. She looks over at me, and smiles a triumphant smile and says "Hey babe..." Mark stops what he's doing, turns and screams "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I run down the hall, sweating, crying, and a noise jars me awake.
I look around the room, and the book I was reading before I fell asleep is on the floor. I'm in a cold sweat. I get out of bed and run into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and trying to slow my heart beat down to a normal pace. I look in the mirror, and decide I look like shit. I wonder what this dream could have meant. I decide that tonight when Mark and I go out, it's time to do some serious talking and not just the usual shootin' the breeze.
I sit on my couch, recounting the details of that dream, which I can see as vividly as if I had actually just lived it. Of course, I haven't seen Mark totally naked, so I guessed at what his body looked like. The doorbell rings, and I answer it, and there is my guy, all decked out for a night on the town. He comes in, says "Hey babe" and gives me a kiss. I pull away involuntarily.
"Hey ... what'd you do that for?" he asks, puzzled.
"Huh? What?" I stammer, trying to come up with something.
"You pulled away just now. Are you ok?" he asks, with genuine concern.
I take his arm and gently lead him to the sofa.
"Mark, we need to talk."
"Oh no. Oh god. I knew something was wrong..." he gets up and starts to pace the living room.
"Sweetheart, would you please come over here and sit down? There's something bothering me, yes, but it's something I need to talk about with you. I don't think it's anything bad."
He stops pacing and looks at me for a moment, studying my face. I try to exude innocence. Then he comes over and sits close to me. I eye him for a moment, trying to decide how to start.
"Jess, please....what is it? You're scaring me."
Sighing, I say "OK. I'm not real thought out on this, but ... well....ok..." I sigh again.
He reaches over and rubs my neck just at the shoulders. "Baby, just start somewhere..."
I look at him, and pull him into an embrace. "Mark, I think I'm seriously falling in love with you, but there's something not right here, and I've noticed it and I'm worried that maybe...you're not feeling the same way?" I say in a rush. Whew...talk about getting uncorked.
He sits back, a smile. "You're in love with me?"
"Yeah, I think...I mean...I think about you all the time, I can't wait to see you, hear from you..."
His gorgeous face reddens slightly. "Well," he says, looking away, "I feel the same way." He looks down. "Then what is the problem?"
I frown...confused. Maybe there ISN'T one? "Well, we've been going out for a couple of weeks, and neither of us have really tried...anything." Now my face gets hot, I know I'm blushing.
He looks over at me again. "I know. I thought it was because you didn't want to, or maybe because of the whole Vic mess, so I didn't want to push myself on to you."
Relief floods me....it's a misunderstanding! "I know what you mean! I was afraid to rush into it for fear that maybe it was just a sexual thing and not anything more..."
"Yeah!" he says, getting enthusiastic by this chat. "That's exactly what I was worried about too, so I figured if I went slowly...maybe..."
We both stop, looking into each other's eyes. "I love you, Jesse. I really really do." he gushes. A tear falls from his eye.
Choking back myself, I reply "I love you too, Mark."
We embrace, holding each other tightly. "As for the Vic thing, it's in the past, remember?" I remind him.
I feel him nod on my shoulder. I pull back enough to see his face, I run my right hand down his cheek, staring into his beautiful blue eyes. My cock is rock solid, and I know I'm starting to leak. He reaches up, puts his right hand around my neck just below my left ear, rubbing my head gently. I lean into him and give him a very passionate kiss. He melts into me as well, as he leans back against the couch and pulls me with him. Needing air, we break back into just a hug, running our hands along each other's bodies, feeling the manliness against ourselves.
He gently pushes me back into a sitting position. He turns toward me, takes both of my hands in his. "Jesse, I'm going to promise you something, and if you don't feel comfortable making the same promise, I understand. I promise you, that as long as you and I are together, I will not cheat on you...ever.
You will never have to worry."
Choking back yet another sob, I take a deep breath, and squeeze his strong hands gently. "Mark, I promise you that as long as you and I are together, I will not cheat on you...ever. YOU will never have to worry either."
We lock into another kiss, and he notices my body is trembling. He leans back. "What is it, baby?"
"I just can't believe this. I've wanted this for so long, and you're here, and you're you, and...I just can't believe you want to be with ME." I say, also feeling like a blithering idiot.
He strokes my cheek. "Jesse, I think I've been in love with you since the day I met you. I just wish I hadn't forced myself on you in the car like that. I've wanted to know YOU, but it never seemed to work out. Until now."
Tears run down my face. "Yeah, I know. Let's not talk about those times."
"Sweetie, those times happened, they're part of our past. Ignoring them won't make them go away. We need to deal with them as they come up, otherwise they'll eat at us." he says.
"I know...but for now, let's just forget it, ok? I'm just so ... " I stop.
I suddenly get cold as I realize what I'm doing. A committed relationship. The last one was with Leslie, and then Scott, and those both ended badly. My dick responds by giving up and going back to sleep. Dammit.
"Hey, hey," he says soothingly. "I'm sensing you're closing back up. Don't do that."
"I know. I'm trying not to...just this is happening so fast." I look him in the eye. "My history in relationships hasn't been the greatest." I look away.
"Jesse, we just admitted we love each other. Let that be enough for today. If you worry about the future, you'll miss out on a lot of stuff, and you may never have to worry and you'll have wasted your life ....worrying." he laughs as he realizes he's talking in circles. But he's right.
"You're right." I smile. "For once, I'm going to say what the hell, and enjoy my time with my man." Dick...a-ten-hut!
We hold each other for awhile. I lean back against the back of the couch, sort of hip to hip with him, as we sit in silence. Mark turns so he's facing me, and starts to lightly stroke my chest through the buttons in my shirt. He studies my clothed chest, as if curious. I reach up with my right hand and stroke the hair on the back of his head. He's let it grow out a little, and it looks so sexy. He buries his face at the base of my neck, giving my light kisses and the case of the shivers. He unbuttons the top three buttons, exposing my chest, and he traces the hair on it, up and down along my breastbone. He moves his head so he's looking downward, and I KNOW he's checking out my crotch. I can't see his. I lower my right hand so it's inside his shirt collar and gently rub along the bare skin where his shoulders and neck meet.
Suddenly, he sits up, and sits on the edge of the couch, looking at me with bedroom eyes, but also in a questioning glance. I return his stare for a moment, then get up off the couch, take his hand and gently lead him to my bedroom. For an instant, the dream returns to my mind, but I decide to talk about that later.
We each take our shoes off, then meet at the foot of the bed. Mark is just slightly taller than I am. He takes my head in his hands and gives me the hottest kiss he's given me yet. I start to unbutton his shirt. I get to the bottom, and run my hands up his torso, feeling the smooth skin along his flanks. Then I run my hand across his chest. He's got a light coating of hair, i note, but his abs are smooth. He moans lightly as I continue to caress his naked upper body. I slide his shirt down off his strong shoulders. He's built more like a teenager, but one who works out...a typical "Ken doll." With shaking hands, he unbuttons the rest of my shirt and pulls it off me with excited force. We embrace, feeling the warmth of each other's bare skin as we continue to kiss. I still marvel at the feeling of a male face on mine. Kissing Leslie was different as she obviously didn't have facial hair.
Mark walks me over to the bed, never breaking our kiss, and turns to sit. He looks up at me, with this sweet sly smile on his face, and he undoes my belt. I reach up to touch his hair, but he firmly puts my hands back to my sides. He slides the belt out of the loops and drops it on the floor next to me. The only light in the room is my nightstand lamp, behind him. He rubs my abs just above my waistline, then runs his finger along the waistband. He gently unbuttons my Dockers, all the while continuing to run his finger along the waistband. He looks up, then at my waist, then up at me again. That look melts my insides, and I again begin to tremble in sexual excitement. He slowly...and I mean slowly...pulls down the zipper, and gently slides my pants down over my hips. They fall to my knees, and I clumsily step out of them. He studies my hard leaking cock behind the navy blue fabric of my Hanes briefs. He puts his face in close, inhaling the smell of my crotch. Inhaling and exhaling heavily, he buries his face in my crotch, just to the left of my cock, his hands caressing my ass. He "mmm"s.
Then he reaches up and guides me over, indicating that he wants me to lie down next to him. I do so, my knees bent over the edge of the bed.
He stands up, undoes his pants and in one motion slides them down. He's not wearing underwear. My cock jumps with excitement and more fluid rushes out.
I check out his bare ass as he's facing away from me, and have to admit my dream was pretty close, but it's even cuter in person. He's got a 32" waist, and it shows. He turns to face me, and I see his cock for the first time in ages. It's just as I remembered, only looks longer, I guess because he's not sitting in a car seat with his dick out of his fly. He looks to be about 7", and is cut. He kneels on the bed, and again gently guides my body so my head is on the pillows in the 'normal' way. Kneeling next to me, he runs his hands up and down my torso, going around my throbbing cock, and down my legs, and back up again. My body continues to shiver in nervous excitement. After his rubbing stops, he lays down next to me, pulling me into his body and we share long kisses again. I try to touch his cock a couple of times, but he stops me each time. "uh uh" he moans. "Wait."
He then works me over with his mouth, kissing all over my body, and driving me insane by ever-so-gently flicking my nipples with his tongue. The feelings and sensations drive straight through my cock, and I'm amazed I haven't shot off on my own yet. After a while, he stops, returns to his side next to me, propped up on his left elbow. While rubbing my chest, he says "Jesse, do you trust me?"
"Yeah" I say softly, unable to speak from all the attention. "Why?"
"I want to show you how much I love you. But, I won't do it if you aren't ready or don't want to."
"What is it?" I ask. I know in my heart I'll give this man my liver if he asks me for it right now.
"I want to be in you." he says, kissing my ear. "I want to join with you."
My heart jumps, both with excitement and fear. "I, uh...I've never done that, Mark..."
"It's ok, babe. You don't have to." he says, still kissing my ear and my face.
"No, it's not that I don't want to, I'm just scared. I've heard it hurts bad."
"Not if your partner knows what he's doing. Yes, I know how to do it, and no, I'm not putting you in any risk, sweetie. I haven't done anything for over a year, and I've been tested negative twice. But, I'll still do it safely, ok?"
"You're sure it's safe?"
He stops and looks me in the eye. "Jesse, I swear on my life, on everything that I am, that I'm negative. If you want to wait and I'll get tested again so you can see the results firsthand...I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want. I love you, and I would never put you at risk just to get off." he says sincerely and without any anger.
I reach up and cup his cheek with my hand. "I know you wouldn't. I love you too, and I want you to do it. Honest."
He kisses me, then goes back to his ministrations on my body, finally removing my underwear and releasing my cock from its binding. (I tend to wear my underwear tight) He studies my cock, as if seeing it the first time, and slowly and gently strokes it. He gently moves my legs so that they're in position to allow access to my hole. As he gets closer to touching me there, my adrenaline surges with the realization that this is finally going to happen. I feel a cold wetness touch my hole, and I realize that somehow he must have gotten lube. Musta had it in his pocket and I never saw him take it out. He gently massages my hole, and I know from reading a lot that I have to relax it to make this easier. As he continues to massage in a circular motion he gently applies pressure and I feel the tip of his finger slide into the ring slowly. My cock gives up the ghost and shoots cum all over my chest and abs in several shots. He laughs lightly. "Wow, someone had some pent up stuff going there. Do you want me to stop?"
I huff and puff trying to catch my breath as my body spasms. "No...no...please...don't...stop." Usually after I cum, sex is the last thing I want, but my brain isn't done yet and it commands my body to keep the energy machine running. Sure enough after 10 or 15 more minutes of him massaging my ass and rubbing my balls with the other hand, my cock springs back to life.
At long last, he slides the remainder of his finger in my ass. The feeling is incredible as he gently plucks my prostate. Shivers run up and down my body. Slight discomfort as he slides a 2nd finger in with the first, continuing his circular motion. I feel him stretching me, and I try to contain the natural urge for it to "snap". He moves me so that I turn onto my left side, while keeping his fingers up me. He pushes my right leg up toward my chest. I find it easier to relax my ass muscles now, and he rubs my back with the other hand, kissing my side and my arm. Finally, a third finger, but I feel as though I could take more.
"Are you ready, sweetie?" he asks lovingly. I just nod yes. Fear grips me as I anticipate the pain. "Relax" he whispers softly and slowly, soothingly. He sits up and moves into position, slowly withdrawing his fingers. I can't get over the feeling that I'm needing to use the bathroom, but I know I don't need to. He straddles across my outstretched left leg. I look over and see his cock is dripping wet with pre-cum. He slides a rubber on over his big dick, and leans over me, his left hand behind my back. He puts more lube on his covered dick, and then gently presses the head against my hole. He puts just the slightest pressure on it. "Tell me to stop if it's too much, ok?"
I nod, biting my lip. I force myself to relax, and that allows him to slip a little more into me. "That's it baby....we'll go as slowly as we need to." he says. He rubs my chest with his right hand, leaning against me. I lift my right arm up and pull his head toward me. He gently guides more of his dick into me and i feel a pop as the head slides past the inner ring. I gasp. "Just relax, honey...relax...it'll be ok in a minute."
Sure enough, I get used to it, and he slowly slides it into me. I'm amazed at how I feel so full and like I'm about to be divided into two, but the pain isn't unbearable. He slowly pulls back and gently inward again. My head feels like I've separated from reality. I realize my dick's gone soft, but I know that's not unusual. I'm in a state of euphoria as I realize this is really happening to me. Mark begins moaning and starts to pump in and out a little more rigorously. His dick starts rubbing my prostate which causes me to leak more and more precum, yet I'm still soft. After about 20 minutes, he stops and motions for me to turn over onto my back. Somehow I manage to move my rubbery legs around, and he pushes my knees up toward my chest and begins to long dick me. His hair is curled in sweaty curls along his brow and I realize that I'm so in love with this man. I gaze lovingly into his eyes and he notices and smiles. Suddenly his smile turns into a love grimace and he begins moaning, a sign he's about to blow.
Sure enough, his strokes increase and with a final yell, he pulls out of me quickly, rips his condom off, and strokes his cock hard. His cum flies out with an enormous burst and lands with a splat across my chest and abdomen. Seven or eight bursts of cum shoot out of his dick. I reach down and grab my cock, never realizing it got hard again, and with three strokes, I'm shooting my load, as big as his --which amazes me since I just came -- and our cum mixes together across my sweaty body. He leans over and lays across me as we kiss an exhausted and very satisified kiss. We stay in each other's embrace for what seems like hours.
"Mark...that was incredible. I love you."
"Jesse, YOU are incredible, and I love you so much. I promise I'll never hurt you again." he says as he starts to cry.
I hold him closer. "I know you won't baby, and I won't hurt you either."
I wake up, and at first, I'm disappointed, thinking it was just another dream. Then I become aware of a touch...warmth...there's a body in bed with me. I look down and see his brown locks on his head. It wasn't a dream. Mark is really here, and we just made love. I gently raise up and see the time is 11:17 pm. And I realize...I'm STARVING.
Mark stirs. "Sorry babe, I was trying not to wake you." I whisper.
"It's ok. Damn, I'm hungry." he laughs.
"Me too, and thank you." I say, laughing out loud. "What do you say we forget about our date and order in a pizza?"
"Sounds good." he says. We get up, and using a washcloth, get ourselves cleaned up. I phone in the pizza, and we go downstairs, just in shorts. We flop down in the den and turn on the TV and just decide to stay snuggled up.
The pizza arrives 25 minutes later, and we eat like we're starving men, then curl back up in front of the TV, rubbing and stroking each other as if this were the last night and we'd never get to touch again. Which of course, isn't true. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I'm with the right partner, and I hope that we'll be together for the rest of our lives.
Thanks again for reading and for the great feedback!! There may be a chapter or two left in me...we'll have to see.
Jeff