Sorry everyone! Things in my life had sort of erupted into a nasty situation not unlike Jesse and his (ex) wife. Luckily, my situation has resolved itself better than his, but all the same, I have hardly been in a mood to write. Thanks for all who have shared concern. I'd rather not go into detail, but I'll tell you all that all is well again.
Chapter 15
I nearly jump out of my skin. Catching my breath, I say "Scott!! You scared the shit out of me! I thought you went to work!"
Standing up in the shadows, Scott says again "I asked you who the fuck that is?"
Immediately the defenses kick in. "Hey, first of all, I don't appreciate the tone, buddy boy. Secondly, it was a friend of mine from work, and thirdly, I thought you went to work, and you're not my father, so I don't know why I feel the need to defend myself!" I stomp off to the kitchen, deciding to make that drink something stronger than just water!
Scott follows me. "Well, maybe I just thought that we had something going, and you're talking to somebody else about a relationship!"
I wheel around and jump back a step, not realizing how close he is to me. "We do have something going, man, but we've only been together a couple of times. I didn't realize we were married."
His face goes from anger to incredulous. "You asshole." he says, shaking his head. "I didn't realize just how self-centered you are, Jesse. Maybe it's best I find this out NOW." And with that, he stalks toward the door. "Oh, and to answer your question, I came back in because I forgot this." he says as he holds up his briefcase. And he's out the door, slamming it behind him.
I stand there, holding my drink, trying to figure out what just happened. I go over the events in my mind. Let's see, we met, had a couple of dinners, I moved in, we slept together once or twice....How is it that it's "serious" already? I inwardly shrug and head back to my bedroom, closing the door. I strip down the rest of the way and climb into the cool sheets. As I stare at the turning celing fan above me, I visualize Mark and Scott in a weird tug-of-war. I really feel lousy about what I've done. What is it you've done? a voice asks. Well, I led them on. Did you? Sure! Why didn't I? Have you pledged love to them? Have you said you'd be monogamous? Did you REALLY sleep with them? "Shut up." I say out loud, and drift to sleep.
The next morning, I'm at the breakfast table, ready for work. Scott stumbles into the kitchen, wearing just pajama bottoms. Dang he's built nicely. "Hey" he says, a little sheepishly.
"Morning" I say cooly.
"Uhh...Jesse. I'm sorry about blowing my top last night." he says, as he sits down. "I guess being cheated on has made me a little overly-sensitive."
I study his face for a moment. Blue. Those eyes are SO blue. Smiling, I tell him "It's cool. But I'll tell you that Mark is a guy that sort of shared a moment before we met, and some things happened, and to be honest, I'm not really sure how I feel about him yet. BUT, I also need to say that you and I are still also very new, and I wasn't really sure what we had, you know?"
He nods, considering. "Yeah, I guess I had us pretty much partnered without really discussing it. Truce?" He reaches his very nicely muscled arm over.
I shake his hand, smiling. "Truce. Now, I have to get to work. Get back to bed...you look exhausted." He smiles, and agrees and lumbers back toward his room. I thought I heard him come in around 4:00am.
Upon arrival to work, I discover some people standing around Vic's cubicle. I slow my pace as I listen to them talk. It's his managing supervisor and a couple of people from his team. They're talking about what to do about his project. I walk over to my teammate who is faxing something, and ask what's up.
"Oh hey, Jess. Yeah, seems they've discontinued Vic's contract. Apparently he got some guy in trouble over in the other building, and it got to his manager that he was causing trouble and they let him go."
Stunned, I walk back to my desk. My voicemail light is blinking. I dial in, enter my passcode. On the message is a voice, sobbing...
"Jesse, it's me. They fired me, man. That son-of-a-bitch Vic reported me, and they fired me! I don't know what I'm going to do, man! I need that job! Please call me." and the line goes dead. Shocked again, I quickly dial his cell number.
"Mark, it's me, what's up?"
More calmly, he answers "Hey. I just can't believe this. They fired me because Vic told them I'm fucking around in the bathrooms. I mean, it was his word against mine, and they fired me for it!"
"Well, I just found out they let him go, too, Mark." I reply, hoping it'd help him feel at least a little better.
"Oh. Well, he deserves it."
"Mark, please...tell me something. Why? Why HIM?" I ask.
Mark sighs. "OK, the truth." He sighs again. "The truth is, I'm seriously in love with him. I know, I know, he's married, and all that, but we've been going out for awhile now. My ex-wife found out about it while we were still together, and called HIS wife and told her everything. Naturally, she freaked as well, and kicked him out of the house. My wife got back at me by fucking my brother. Well, I guess he wanted to get back at me, so he decided to screw around with you. I saw you guys come out of the bathroom, and I knew. He saw me and gave me a look like "take that.""
"Anyway, I confronted him, and that's why he turned on you that day because I told him he'd better end it or I'd out him at work. I saw him do that to you that day I introduced myself. So, I decided a little getting even would be good for me, so, I talked you into going with me."
My hand is shaking the receiver, I'm so angry at this point. I was a fucking pawn in their game?! Trying to stay calm, I force my voice to work. "Mark, you came to Arizona after me, and you have been asking me..."
He cuts me off. "I know! I know what you're thinking, but it only started out that way. I found myself really attracted to you, and I..." CLICK
I hang up the phone. I don't want to hear any more from him. A PAWN! They BOTH USED ME! My eyes are darting back and forth across my computer screen, but the words might as well be Sanskrit because I forgot how to read. The phone rings, and it's him. I ignore it, wiping my hands on my pants. I got DIVORCED because of him! Why...? How...? I can't even form the questions.
Daniel walks by, notices my livid state, and stops. "Jess? Are you ok?"
In a whisper, I say "No. I'm not." I walk to the bathroom, stiffly, my body not wanting to cooperate with my brain. I go into the stall and toss up my entire breakfast. When my stomach calms, I turn around, drop my drawers and sit, having a full-blown anxiety attack. Finally, after a few moments, my blood stops pounding through my veins, my vision focuses, and I return to normal breathing. Collecting myself, I stand up, return to dressed state, and flush. My cell phone gives a short single vibrate. I look and there's three messages and missed calls. Amazing, I never felt or heard it go off. They're all from Mark. Turning it off, I make my way back to my desk. Daniel steps out of his office and calls me in. Great, just what I don't need.
"Jesse, I'm worried about you. You look like you've seen a ghost, and I am no expert, but I think something is up. Do you need to take some more time off? You're a good worker, Jesse, but I got to be honest, you've not exactly been yourself and it's starting to show. You just skipped a meeting regarding this weekends' release, and ..."
"Screw the release" I say harshly cutting him off. "I don't need this shit." and I get up and walk out of his office. Sitting down in my chair, I stare at the screen. Daniel walks up. Gently, he says "Jesse, I think you better call the number on here, ok?" and he lays the sheet next to my keyboard. I pick it up and notice its for the Employee Assistance Program. A form. A mandatory order to call. Great. I stare at the sheet for a few minutes then figure, why not? Going into a conference room, I call the number and they ask me the standard questions of am I in danger of hurting myself or anyone else. After assuring them I'm not about to hurt anyone, they line me up with a psychologist. As luck would have it, Dr. Susan is on their plan, and they set me up for 20 visits.
I return to our area, and walk into Daniel's office. "I called" I say bluntly. "And I'm taking a couple of days off. I got some days left."
Daniel nods. "OK, Jesse. Take them. But you'll need to pull some overtime to get caught up when you're better."
Without giving an answer, I return to my computer, set up my "out of office" message, and leave. As I am walking away, I notice my voicemail light is blinking again. Screw it. Out of the building I go, and start driving. I crank up my classical music CD, which helps me relax when I'm tense, and roll the windows down. If I can't hear, I won't be able to think about what I've just learned. My appointment with Dr. Susan is tomorrow, so I have to deal with this alone today.
I get home, and Scott's gone. I guess he's working again. I make my way into the kitchen, and sure enough, there's some good booze under the counter. I'm not much of a drinker, but right now, I figure I'm home, I'm throwing caution to the wind, and I'm going to drink until I pass out. After about 1/2 of the bottle, for some reason I decide I should be naked at this point, and I'm sure I somehow got my own clothes off, because they're in a pile and how else would they get there? The next thing I know, it's dark, and someone's talking to me in a gentle voice. How nice of them.
"Come on Jesse, let go of the door. Come on, let's go to your room." I feel a hand on my forearm, and I'm grasping something hard and cold, and round...the doorknob?
My brain reroutes traffic and finally the signal arrives to my hand to let go, and I feel warm hands on on each side of me, guiding me. Some mystical force gets my feet to move, and another weird force of nature keeps tilting the room from side to side. Finally, soft, warm...my bed. Covers pulled over me.
"There you go buddy, get some rest now." Scott's voice says from somewhere in the cosmos.
LIGHT! Rude light!! Some birds, irritatingly cheerful outside the window, chirping and singing like there was something good in life. A soft knock on the door and Scott pokes his head in.
"Hey guy, you awake?"
I groan, and immediately regret it as my head nerves inform my brain of pain! "Who ran me down?"
Scott chuckles. "Well, judging by the empty broken bottle of Jack Daniels by the front door, I'd say it was your own doing."
Broken? "What do you mean 'broken'?" I ask, wishing those damned birds would quit SCREAMING.
"Well, near as I can tell, you drank the entire bottle, threw it at the door, were buck naked for reasons unknown. I came home and found all of this, and so I covered you up on the couch, and let you sleep. A couple of hours later, I heard you screaming something at the top of your lungs, and you were trying to get out of the door, but it was locked. What did Mark do that makes you want to kick his sorry ass, as you put it?"
Memory floods the brain, and I close my eyes against it. But it's still there. "Mark is a huge prick and I never want to see him again. He fucking USED me to get back at someone, then tried to sell me a line of shit about how he fell in love with me. FUCK him." I spit out, wishing I hadn't.
Scott's silent for a moment. "I see. Well, my prescription for you, my friend, is to stay in bed until that monster of a hangover dissipates, then you better reschedule your appointment."
My appointment! "I gotta get up. I have to see Dr. Susan at 11."
Scott laughs. "Dude, it's 4:30....PM!"
"Holy shit. I've never drank like this before. My liver is probably suing for abuse."
"Undoubtedly" Mark says wryly. "Get some rest."
The bed tilts, and I fall back asleep, musing on the fact that when I was in the hospital, I didn't feel this badly!
What seems like just a few minutes later, Scott's gently shaking my shoulder. "Jesse, wake up. You have a call."
"I ain't talking to him!" I say, wishing he'd quit bugging me so I could rest.
"Jess, it's your mom. You need to take this."
The urgency in his voice wakes me up a little more. I turn over and meet his gaze. Something's wrong.
"Hello?"
"Jesse! Where have you been, I've been trying to call you all day and you're not answering your cell phone, and I didn't know where to reach you..."
"Mom!" I say, cutting her off. "What is it?"
"Jesse, you need to get down to the hospital. Your dad's had a heart attack."
To be continued
Author's note: OK, I'm not a drinker, so I have no idea if drinking a whole bottle of Jack would be something you could survive or not. I also have NO idea what a hangover feels like, so I'm guessing on that too. :)