At long last, the day arrives when I'm cleared to go to work. I saw the doctor, and he gave me a thorough once-over. He gave me a clean bill of health, or at least as clean as it can be considering what I went through. However, he strongly suggested that I continue to see the therapist. I don't argue the point. The nightmares have subsided somewhat and the anxiety is under control, thanks to modern chemistry. But I still have nervous palpatations and downright panic any time another driver even remotely gets near the lane lines. It's so odd how I remember nothing of the accident, but the counselor assured me that my subconscious mind recorded every detail, and one day it may unlock itself into my conscious memory. Ah, a ticking time bomb, waiting to happen. Great.
I drive to work early, so I can clear up any paperwork. Daniel greets me with enthusiasm, glad to have his team back in tact. I finish up the HR work and plop down into my office chair. It has a feeling of unfamiliarity...it seems like ages since I was here last. In fact, I've forgotten all my passwords. Luckily, I remembered how to fix that problem and log into the system. There are 600 emails waiting for me. UGH. I delete all of the system alerts (including the "spam" from the system telling me my mailbox is over the limit! Typical corporate thinking: the mailbox is maxed, but let's flood him some more! I sort through and read the important ones, vowing to "read" the others later. Then I decide to check my personal email through the internet. We're ok to do that if it's not overly done. To my delight, there's a message from Scott.
"Jesse, gotta pull some long hours this coming week. I guess I forgot to tell you I'm in medicine. I work in the ER at St. Mary's, and I'm pulling double-duty. I'll call or write you when I have a more solid schedule. --Scott"
Wow...a medical-type person! Naturally, my "male" mind thinks that this could be fun...playing doctor with a real doctor. Sighing, I realize I need to get to work. The day flies by, and I wrap up the day and head for home. As I'm leaving the lobby of the building and stepping into the heat and humidity of a St. Louis summer, I spy Mark crossing the street. I decide to nod amiably at him. I've come to accept that we really can't even be friends, but that doesn't mean I have to treat him badly. Mark meets my gaze then walks off. I shrug and walk on over to my car. He's been avoiding me, that much I know, but I'm not sure where exactly we lost touch.
As luck would have it, he parked next to me today. He opens his car door as I approach mine, then changes his mind and closes it and turns to me.
I look at him expectantly, wondering what this is about.
"Jesse, what happened to us? I thought we were going to try to have something together, but I guess I was wrong, huh?"
"Well, the fact that you were sucking Vic's cock might have something to do with it, ya think?" I reply. Could he be THAT dense??
"I explained all of that, but it didn't seem to matter to you. Maybe you're just a self-centered asshole who only thinks about himself. Doesn't it matter to you that I sacrificed things to be with you? I told you I'm done with Vic, and guess what? He outted me! He left an anonymous note with Asset Protection stating that there was sex going on in the office, and here's a piece of news you may not know yet, but he implicated you too!"
My heart instantly drops into my stomach like I swallowed a chunk of ice. "What.."? I say breathlessly. This can't be happening. Turning on my heel, I march back toward the office, fuming. I barely get past the guard, just flashing my ID at her. I get to the elevator, and as the door opens, who walks out but the asshole himself.
I grab his shirt and slam him against the granite wall of the elevator lobby. Getting in his face, I hiss "Just what is this I hear about you turning ME into Asset Protection? Who the FUCK do you think you are, you bastard?!" I say.
A small smile of victory crosses his face, as he forcibly removes my hand from his shirt. "I'm giving you what you deserve, you prick."
"OK, man, that's it. You better tell me what the hell I ever did to you to deserve this, or you'll be going home with my foot up your ass."
"Are you serious?!" he asks. "After what you did to me?!"
I blink once. "What are you talking about? What did I do??!"
"You're going to stand there and deny it?"
"Vic, I don't have the slightest fucking clue of what you're talking about."
The guard comes in to the elevator bank lobby. "OK, what's going on here? Break it up you two."
Scared not at all, we just say "OK" and walk out. As we walk away, I say in a lower voice to Vic, "Come on, man...what's this all about?"
"You really DON'T know, do you?" he asks. "Let's go over to Jack Patrick's and talk."
I agree, and we walk the one block from the building to a bar. It's smoky inside, but it's not too full yet. We take a table near the entrance.
"So. Talk." I command.
"OK, all I know is I found some papers in my office with the words "Queer" written on them. I assumed either you did it, or you told someone about what happened. I've been getting prank calls at home too. The caller ID is always blocked. Now it just seemed awfully funny that this starts right after that day."
"Vic, I swear to you, I have no idea what or who it could be. I mean, at the time, I was still married, and just looking for a guy to mess around with. Why would I do anything like that?"
"Well, I don't know. I mean, I've messed around with Mark for a year or so.
I was a contractor on his team for 6 months before I moved over to this job."
"OK, so riddle me this: If someone's doing this, why did you continue to mess around at work?"
He sighs. "Well, part of it is I knew it wasn't him doing it, and the office was always empty when we did anything. Then he told me he was stopping our playing around so he could date some guy. He didn't say it was you."
I ponder this. Someone's playing games, and if they knew about Vic, they know about me, too. "So you called Asset Protection?"
"Ah, yeah. I was upset. I found out you were the guy when you caught us in the bathroom that day. That's right before he broke it off with me. I think I have feelings for him, and I thought he had feelings for me." He shrugs. "I guess it was my way of getting even."
"Well, that's just great, Vic. You got even, and I may now be out of a job come tomorrow."
"I'll try to call it off."
"Vic, you don't GET it! They'll have to investigate now. It's not up to them if I'm fired or not. That's our boss's decision!"
"Well, it's my word against yours. It's not a very strong case." he says, hopefully.
"Maybe. We'll see. It doesn't matter anyway. I need to rebuild my life, and this job isn't the only job around. Who knows." I get up. "See ya."
I walk off, leaving Vic with his beer. I'm still overwhelmed with this news. So, Vic's in the same trap as I was. Well, at least now I know what's going on. I had no idea I was crossing a relationship boundary. If that's the case, then why was Mark so dishonest?
I get back to my car, and Mark's long gone. I drive to my parents house again, and on the way, my cell phone rings. I check the ID and it's Scott! My heart jumps with excitement. "Hey, man!" I answer.
"Hey buddy...just got a bit of a break here and wanted to call you. I have some time free on Friday night. Want to go to a movie or something?"
"Uh, no...I better not. Something's up at work and there's a chance I might become suddenly unemployed."
Surprised, he answers "OH! Wow. Sorry to hear that. Well, I have a big collection of movies. How about I make dinner and you come by and we'll just veg out at the apartment?"
I consider for a moment (but only a BRIEF moment!) and agree. "Sounds great, man! I'd love to."
"Great! I'll make us a lasagna -- old family recipe. Sound ok?"
"Sounds perfect." I say, maybe a little too enthusiastically. "I'll see you at 6:30?"
"See ya then!" and we click off. I pull up in front of the house, and go on inside. Mom's her usual hyper-active self, putting dinner on the table and chattering incessantly. I wonder how Dad doesn't go crazy, but then, he can be just as bad!
"So, Jesse," Mom says. "What are your plans about living space?"
Taken offguard, I reply "What? Living...you mean a place to live?"
"Well sure! I didn't think you'd want to stay around here the rest of your life." I raise an eyebrow. "OK, let me put it this way: you're NOT staying around HERE the rest of your life!" she says, good-naturedly.
"Oh why not?" I say playfully. "I mean, why not hang out with the Geritol and BenGay crowd?"
She swats my ass with the spatula. "Wise ass!" she says, laughing. "But really, honey, what are your plans?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I can't afford a house on my own right now, but I might look into an apartment just to get started. All I really have right now is my computer and my car."
"OK, well, if you want to go looking, I'll be glad to go with you!"
I shake my head. Any excuse to go shopping! Dad and I exchange glances and bust out laughing.
The next day at the office, sure enough I'm called into Daniel's office. And sure enough, he's asking me about the charge against me. I tell him that it's a lie (hand jobs aren't sex, right?), and that I'd never done anything against the conduct code. He tells me he didn't think so and dismissed it. "Just be careful, ok?" he says. I agree to do so, then walk out. I know he'll report back to Asset Protection, but all the same, I decide to play it safe around the office. They will actually put you under survelliance if there's reason to do so.
Friday finally arrives, and as usual, the day crawls. At long last, I'm out the door and driving over to Scott's. The highways get easier and easier to drive each day, and I'm finally back to doing 70 in a 60. Not that I am proud of being a speeder, but let's face it, if you don't MOVE, they'll run you over from behind!
We have a nice dinner and decide to watch "The Naked Gun". I really enjoy Leslie Nielsen's comedy. After the movie, we snuggle up on the couch and just watch whatever is on, since we're too lazy to change the channel, and talk. He tells me all about his work, and I relate mine back to him, although my job story bores even me! Then I mention offhandedly that I may be needing a place soon. He sits up, suddenly enthusiastic.
"Hey, Jess...why not move in here? This is a 3-bedroom apartment. It's more than I need."
I suddenly have a thought. "Hey, dude...you're a doctor. Why are you in an apartment?"
"Hey, haven't you ever heard of "STUDENT LOANS?"" he grins.
"Ahhh...sure. OK. Well....are you sure you would want me to move in here? I mean you barely know me."
He shrugs. "Yeah, why not? I mean, we're dating, right? And I could use the 50% rent check and splitting the bills."
"Yeah, and if our dating doesn't work out?" I ask. I can see the potential disaster looming in the distance.
"OK, fair question. Hmm. Well, I am willing to gamble on it. We have a lot of the same interests, and no, I'm not just talking about sex, so get that look off your face." he grins. "If things don't work out, then we can still try being just roommates, and if that doesn't work, we'll worry about that then."
"No, we'll just agree up front that I'll be the one to move out since this is your place. That way, we'll have no issues to deal with later."
"Sounds like plan. So when do you want to move in?" he asks.
"Wow, aren't you the quick deal-maker." I tease.
"Yep. I don't believe in messing around. I said get that look off your face!" he laughs. "Besides, you'll have your own room, and I'll have mine. We can still take things slowly. But you need a place, and I can the help of having a roommate."
I have to admit, it makes sense. I wouldn't need much furniture. I could bring over Mom's futon and use that for my bed, get a small table for my computer. And even though Mom would only encourage me to move, I know they'd never really force me out, but she and Dad should have their home to themselves. They've earned it.
"OK! Let's do it." I notice the cocked head and smile on his face. "I mean become roommates!"
We bust out laughing then shake on the deal. He invites me to stay the night because what better time to start living here than the present? I graciously accept, but mostly because after a big meal, I was sleepy and didn't feel like driving home. There's an awkward moment as I'm unsure of where I'm expected to sleep.
"Do you have an extra pillow and blanket? I can just stay out here on the couch."
"I do, but you don't have to sleep out here, unless you want to. I have a king-sized bed."
"What does a single man need with a king bed?" I ask, trying to get his goat.
"Hey, I'm a doctor. I should have SOME luxuries." he laughs. He is so cute when he smiles.
"OK, then if you don't mind, I think I'll turn in." I say. It's been a long stressful day, and I'm looking forward to some sleep.
"Sure," he says. "I'll just get the dishwasher started and be in a little bit later."
"OK." I walk into the master bedroom and note that there is a huge bed, and a nice bathroom. Clearly one of the nicer apartments I've been in. I strip down, leaving just my jockeys on, and slip between the cool sheets. Above me, a ceiling fan turns slowly. This is NICE, I think. And since I'm bare-chested in another man's bed, naturally something else wakes up. A few minutes later, Scott walks in. He notices I'm awake still, even in the darkness.
"Everything ok?" he asks.
"Mm hm." I reply. "I hope it's ok that I'm on this side. It's the side I'm used to."
"Oh sure," he says. "I usually sleep in the middle, so it doesn't matter."
In the near-darkness, I see him strip completely down then climb in bed. I swear my dick gets even harder. But my brain is saying "no...we want to do this slowly and not rush."
He turns so he's facing away from me, and I can feel the warmth of his back radiating toward me. I study the back of his head and his bare back, admiring the contours of his body. I always hate this moment...the uncertainty of whether he wants me to make a move or not. The uncertainty of if he's planning one. If so, then why is he facing away. I decide to make a safe one and put my right hand on his right shoulder and just rest it there. I feel his left hand cover mine. Then he backs up so I'm spooning him, his back pressed against my chest.
"Jesse?" he says softly
"yeah?" I reply.
"I know we said we wanted to go slowly, but I have to admit something. There's no way in hell I can get to sleep with this raging boner I have now."
I laugh. "Me too." He turns over to face me. We look into each other's eyes. I think I could fall for this guy, but too much has happened for me to be ready for that.
"Well," he says, laughing softly. "This is good. OK, why don't we just jack off and be done with it?"
"I could go for that." I say. "But, I guess I'd be ok with maybe jacking each other off?"
He smiles. "That'd be nice."
We sit and look at each other in an awkward silence. I just know each of us is waiting for the other to move first. Finally I decide that we'll be here all night if I don't make a move. I slowly reach over and come into contact with his thigh. He exhales softly. I can feel a trembling in his body. I slowly trace up his thigh and come into contact with his thick dick. I slowly wrap my fingers around it, and slide them gently toward the tip. He shudders and moans. I feel his fingers touch the center of my chest and slowly trace downward. He finds my dick and mimics my movements. His thumb rubs across my slit, and I feel it slide, knowing that there is a good amount of precum. We keep eye contact as we gently stroke each other. I can feel his cock pulsing slightly, knowing that those love spasms are taking place which will cause him to shoot.
I grin and ask him if he wants to just shoot here or should we get a towel or something? He smiles back and says just let it go. My cock jumps in a spasm with the excitement of shooting at each other. His breathing quickens and his moans increase. My fingers are wet with his precum off his 6.5" dick. I can tell he's cut, like me. His grip on my dick gets tighter as his muscles all start to tense up in preparation for his orgasm. I torture him by not increasing my pace or grip. Finally I take him over the top, and I feel wetness hit my abs and even my dick. His cock pulses several times, and I feel his tension in his body as every muscle contracts. This guy is HOT!
As he comes down from his high, he gently pushes me onto my back. He moves over so he's cuddled up against me, and with his left hand, takes me again. More purposefully, he holds my dick so it's straight up. The pleasure builds within me as I feel his cum roll off my stomach and down my side. He knows I'm about ready, so he tilts my cock back toward my stomach a little, and suddenly I erupt. Several shots fly into the air and I feel them land below my neck, on my abs. He moans with me as I come down from my own high, and we laugh softly.
"Wow." I say. My head is spinning with slight hyperventilation from breathing so hard. He rubs my cum into his, and gets my stomach wet. I put my left arm behind his head, and he falls asleep on my chest. I stroke his shoulders with my left hand until I too drift off into a blissful sleep. As I drift, I think about where I am and what could become of this. It's way too early to say I'm in love with him, but at least we know we can help each other out. Suddenly Mark pops into my head. I imagine him with a sad look.
"You're free, man" I say to him mentally. "Go on and live your life." My final thought before sleep takes me is that I hope that Scott will be someone I can trust and allow into my heart.