The emails I've been getting are wonderful! Please keep writing!
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Live simply, love generously, care deeply and speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. ;)FROM THE END OF CHAPTER 7:
"You have to promise not to date anyone else, not to see anyone else and not to think about anyone else until I say. Deal?"
I think I agreed too soon. He wanted to hold me hostage.
"Tim, I can't promise that."
"Yes, you can. Otherwise, I won't promise either."
"Alright I'll promise, but only if you're reasonable. Let's set a time limit on this."
"One month."
"Alright, one month. We'll discuss this again by the end of July."
He smiled and squeezed my hand. I could tell he felt he had some small measure of victory. At least I knew I'd have time to talk him out of this insanity and maybe get him interested in someone else. Someone closer to his own age.
Then he did something unexpected. He leaned down and kissed me. On the lips. It was a long kiss. Ever so lightly at first, he brushed my lips with his tongue and parted them. An electric shock went straight to my groin. I was captive to his soft, moist lips and his searching tongue. I couldn't move away if I'd wanted to. My lips and tongue moved automatically to his.
Nudist Camp Vacation CHAPTER 8 When he ended the kiss, I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me. He was smiling, lustily. He whispered, "Uh, huh. You can't tell me you didn't feel that." I quickly took a deep breath to stop my panting. "Tim, I won't lie to you. I feel something for you. Something I shouldn't. But, both of us need to think." "That's all I have been doing. I think about you constantly." "You KNOW what I mean! We'll talk again, later." Silently he took my hand and kissed my palm. How did he know that turns me on? I gasped and drew my hand away. With a smile on his lips, he turned and walked out of the room. I watched him intently. I know he must think he has me where he wants me. Well, he does. It was so incredibly foolish of me to let him kiss me! What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking. How can this be happening? Oh, God, help me! I don't want to ruin the life of this young man! Help me say the right things to bring him to his senses! I'm a weak and foolish old man. A lonely old man. Well, not THAT old! Just too old for Tim, right? I can't do this. Just then, the duty nurse came in. He was an attractive young man in his mid twenties, but I had my fill with the complications of youth. I didn't want to talk to him. "Hi! My name's Daryl and I'll be your nurse tonight. How are you feeling? Do you need a pain pill?" "I don't have any pain, but maybe a pill would help me sleep." "Okay, I'll bring you one when I finish my rounds." "That'll be fine." He checked the automatic blood pressure machine and my I.V. bag, and then he lifted the covers and checked my bandage. He did the usual double take. "Wow! No tan line! Do you use a tanning booth or something?" "No, I just like sunning in the nude." I was tired of explaining about the nudist camp. "Wow, great! Do you tan in your back yard, or do you like to go to Hippy Hollow on Lake Travis?" "Never been to Hippy Hollow, but I've heard about it." "Didn't think you went there. At least I've never seen you there. You ought to try it some time." He looked at me and smiled. I could see his come-on a mile away. He was flirting, no doubt about it. His advances, however, weren't welcome. "Thanks, I'll do that." That seemed evasive enough. Then he pissed me off. "Was that your son that just left? He's cute!" It felt like he was expressing too much interest in Tim. I know it was cruel, but I couldn't stop myself. I hate when people assume! Besides, I wanted him to leave me alone. In as even a voice as I could muster, I said, "No, he's not my son. He's my boyfriend." Immediately I regretted saying that. It came out sounding haughty, or worse, threatening. It was totally out of character for me. His comment should never have gotten to me the way it did! I AM that much older than Tim is and I would be proud to be his father! But I just don't feel like a father to him! Stevey, yes, but not Tim. Daryl spun toward me and his eyes flew open. "Oh! Really? Lucky you!" He quickly finished his routine and left, closing the door behind him. He returned almost instantly with the pill and handed it to me with a cup of water. I wanted to apologize for my outburst, but he left so quickly I couldn't think of anything to say. I was embarrassed. What made it worse is that I should be encouraging other young men to seek a friendship with Tim, shouldn't I? Why am I being such a jerk? It's been so long since I've had such a mix of emotions, I'm not sure what I'm doing. Everything was so much easier when Robert and I . . . Robert, why did you have to leave me? Did I just feel a hand on my shoulder? I must be imagining things. As soon as the door clicked shut, the silence in the room slowly penetrated to my core. It seemed to suck the energy out of me. I could have turned on the television, but I didn't feel as if I could tolerate all the yammering, so I left it off. The residual feeling of loss for my parents and Robert was strong and growing. I felt empty and alone. I couldn't let Tim get close, because for his sake I had to push him away. Bill and his wife were great friends, but they can't give me what I need most. I need someone to hold my hand, to cuddle with me on a cold night and to warm my bed. Someone to make me laugh, to share a quiet moment and to love. I have no one. Loneliness filled me as I quietly cried myself to sleep. The silence of the previous evening was replaced in the night by moaning and wailing coming from the other rooms on the floor. The automatic blood pressure machine kept waking me, the bed was hard and the sheets bunched up when I moved. I tried to lie flat, but as soon as I drifted to sleep, I'd turn on my side and the bandages pulled at my skin, waking me up. My back was aching. I stretched and rolled until I found a way to lie partially on my side and finally I drifted off into a fitful sleep. When I woke a few hours later, I had a raging hard on that was pulsing slime all over my belly. I can't remember the last time I had a wet dream! I captured the tail end of my dream just before it drifted beyond my reach. It was Tim. Somehow, we had melted together into a pool of love. Dreams don't have to make sense and this one didn't. I felt full and alive with love for him, until I realized it was not to be. The bubble burst. I seriously need to get to my depression medication! I was just holding my emotions at bay when two young female nurses trotted into the room. At first, I was thankful for the distraction. "Mr. Stewart, we're going to take those bandages off," they announced. I almost said, "Not on your life!" but I wanted to be rid of the pressure on my leg. I might even be able to get comfortable without it. They pulled back the covers. I had been able to keep the gown down covering my anatomy, but it didn't do any good. Both nurses lifted the gown up to my chest and revealed the semen painting my belly. I quickly used the gown to wipe my belly, for all the good it did. The odor was still strong, but the nurses didn't acknowledge it. Either they were being polite, or they just had no idea what it was. I couldn't imagine the latter, so I think they were just being polite. At any rate, the two had full view of my pleasure plumbing (which thankfully stayed most decidedly disinterested!), as they carefully peeled away the tape and bandages. This tape is the stickiest stuff I've ever seen. It stuck so well, I was afraid they'd pull my skin with it! Since I could finally lift my head, I got a good look at the doctor's handiwork. There was a huge purple bruise about the size of two fists on the inside of my upper thigh and my lower right abdomen. I could even see the little plug of a scab where my femoral artery had been violated. I hadn't expected such an angry looking bruise, but it was a small price to pay. At least I hadn't had several pairs of hands inside my chest and a permanent train track down my front as a souvenir of my hospital visit. They poked around a little, looking for what, I don't know. Then they put a smaller gauze bandage on my puncture and started to tape it to my belly and thigh. When I felt the tape stick to my scrotum, I had to intervene. I quickly reached down and grabbed my cock and balls and pulled them out of harm's way. The nurses were both surprised and started to protest. One of the nurses started to pull my arm away, but I quickly said, "I don't want that tape on this!" My hand and arm were almost completely covering my sensitive bits, so they relaxed and finished taping me up. The one doing the taping even thanked me for making it easier to do her work. I couldn't imagine having to peel that extremely sticky tape off my scrotum! Since neither they nor I knew when I'd be released, they instructed me to leave it on for 24 hours and told me how to remove it all in the shower. It sounded like it wasn't going to be easy. I was much relieved to have that huge bandage off and the nurses out of my room. I could finally raise the bed up and look around. I punched the nurse call button and asked for a clean gown. When Nurse Ratchet (straight out of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"!) brought it, I had to explain why I needed it. All I could think to tell her was that I had an accident. Keeping the bed covers over my lower parts to protect what little modesty I had left, she helped me remove my soiled gown and put on the clean one. She sniffed at the soiled gown and gave me an odd look. "You know, you really shouldn't be doing that. Not in your condition." I couldn't believe I was getting a lecture like a teenager. I couldn't help chuckling. What can I say? It made me feel young! "I did that in my sleep!" She raised an eyebrow at me. "Uh, huh." She acted as if she didn't believe me. For that matter, I wouldn't have believed me, either. I couldn't tell for sure what she was thinking. She left smirking. Bitch! At least she could share with the other nurses there was a sex fiend down the hall. Carefully I reached for the tray and pulled it toward me. I was still wired to a transmitter, the I.V. was still dripping into my vein in the back of my hand and the automatic blood pressure machine was still pumping at regular intervals. But, I could finally help myself to water and my cell phone, both of which I put to immediate use. I decided to call the office. Lucy recognized my cell phone number on her caller I.D. "Alan! Are you all right?" "Hi, Lucy. Yes, I'm fine. I'll be in the hospital for a day or two. Less if I can talk the doctor into it. I feel really good. Better than I have in a long time. Let everyone know I'm okay." "I will. I'm awfully glad you called! You sound good." "Thanks, Sweety. Can you transfer me to Bill?" "Okay. Take care of you, okay?" I chuckled. "I won't have to. Everyone else is." "Good. Let me know if you need anything, okay?" "Okay, I will." "Hang on while I transfer you." While I was waiting, my breakfast arrived. Coffee! I need coffee! I added cream to it while I was waiting and gulped it down. "Alan! How'd you sleep? How do you feel? Are you still okay? Have you seen the doctor, yet? What can I get for you?" When he finished his rapid-fire questions, I said, "Bad, good, yes, no and nothing. I just called to see how things are going there. Is there anything I should know about?" He sighed. "No, everything's going smoothly. We're all handling everything perfectly. Don't worry about a thing. You do remember you hired us for our ability to handle the business?" "Yeah. Sounds like I did too good a job! I like to be needed." "We do need you! You do what you do best. Think! You're the idea man, remember?" "Yeah, but I've been thinking too much, lately. That's why I took the vacation. Instead of relaxing, I've got even more to think about." "Hmm. Then relax and work it out. Don't come back to work until you do." I had to chuckle at that. "Yes, sir!" "Okay. Now, I know there's something you need. What is it?" I thought for a moment. "A new heart." "Sorry, I can't get you one of those. Anything else?" "No, I'm saying I need a new emotional heart. The doc fixed the other one." "Oh. Sorry, I can't do anything about that, either." "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Bill. Thanks for letting me vent." "No problem." "Talk to you later." "Bye." With that, we hung up. I sighed. Too much to think about. I'm sure the sooner I get Tim to chase someone else, the better off I'll be. He can chase someone his own age and I can chase someone my age. That's the way it's supposed to be, right? My appetite was waning, so I finished my coffee and pushed the tray away. Still exhausted, I decided to try to nap. I settled back and closed my eyes. It seemed that I had no sooner closed my eyes than I heard a sound. It was Stevey and Tim. The look on Stevey's face was pure anguish. His eyes were puffy. He ran to me as tears flooded from his eyes. "Alan, don't die! Don't die, please, Alan!" When he reached me, he fell on top of me, burying his face in my chest and grabbing me tight. He immediately released me, grabbed me around the neck, and kissed me hard. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks as he stroked my hair and looked into my eyes. He took me completely by surprise. His greeting brought tears to my eyes as well. I cleared my throat then whispered, "Stevey, I'm fine! I'm not going to die! At least not yet." "Waddayamean, not yet?" he demanded. I smiled through my tears. "I will die some day, but it'll be a while before that happens." "It just better not be soon! You just saved me and now you gotta tell me what to do!" That startled me! I had no idea he'd be so lost and needy. I cleared my throat. "Stevey, do you have any friends?" "Yeah, sort of. I know some guys at school." "Well, call them up! Get together with them. Hang with them." "Yeah! I could do that!" He threw his arms around my neck in a stranglehold. "I knew you'd know what to do!" It struck me once again just how much his life had come to a screeching halt during his torment. He wiped his nose on his arm and rubbed the tears off his cheeks with his fingers. "I gotta pee. Where's the bathroom?" "In there." I pointed at the door. "You okay, now?" He grabbed my neck again and hugged, saying, "Yeah. Now." Then he jumped down from the bed and scrambled to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I looked at Tim, helplessly. "He didn't sleep last night. He was crying. He was freaking out over you having a heart attack. I guess I should have brought him with me last night." "He's forgotten how to be a kid. That guy oughta be strung up! A needle in the arm is too good for him!" "Got that right! So, you think any more about us?" "Tim, like I said last night, there can't be any `us.' You and I both need someone our own ages." "Sorry, wrong answer! Guys my age are only interested in two things: having sex now and how to get more sex later! You say Stevey's forgotten how to be a kid? Well I never was one and I don't want to be. And I'm tired of being treated like one! You say I don't know anything about love and relationships? I've read all about them. I've read novels and poetry by Chaucer, Dante, Charles Dickens, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry Thoreau, C.S. Lewis, Zane Grey and others. I've read gay novels by Gordon Mereck, Jim Grimsley, Keith Morset and Ronald Donaghe. I've even read Bridget Jones' Diary, Parts 1 AND 2! So don't tell me I don't know about romance and relationships!" I have to admit, I was impressed. But, I couldn't let that be the final word on the subject. "Tim, reading about it and doing it are two completely different things! But at least reading is a start." "Alright, what I don't know, you can teach me. Are you ready for me to be your boyfriend, now?" My thoughts went back to last night when I called him "my boyfriend." It was wrong then and it's wrong now! "No, Tim, I can't. You really don't know what you're getting into! I'm an old man! At least compared to you. I've just had a heart attack, I have morning bad breath, I leave dirty dishes on the counter, I make mistakes, I'm far from perfect, I have all the foibles and eccentricities of someone set in his ways and my shit stinks!" I realized my voice was getting louder when Stevey came out of the bathroom and yelled, "Stop fighting! Just STOP!" Both Tim and I looked at him, dumbfounded. "What're you fighting about, anyway? Why don't you just kiss each other's weenies and get it over with? You know you love each other, don't you?" Tim smiled at him. I blushed. Guilt red. Stevey had my number. He had Tim's, too. But "kiss weenies?" I decided to let that comment slide. I cleared my throat. Tim looked at me grinning. I looked back and couldn't help chuckling. We both started laughing. Tim finally chortled, "So, your shit stinks, huh? That changes everything!" He guffawed. "Well I don't crap chocolate and piss lemonade!" We laughed at each other. God, I wanted to kiss him! . . . Stop it! Just stop it! Stewart, you can't continue to torture yourself like this! We were distracted by a muffled banging noise. There were several "bumps" then one more a couple of seconds later. Tim looked toward the door and asked, "What was that?" "Someone might have dropped something. Maybe someone's hammering something. Listen, have you guys eaten, yet?" "Yeah, we ate before we left." He looked at my untouched tray. "You haven't eaten, yet. Want me to feed you again?" The thought made my pecker wince. I think I moaned. I don't think I could survive being fed another meal like the one last night. "No, that won't be necessary. I'll tell you what you can do, though. You can get me some coffee!" "Okay! I'll be right back!" Stevey moved closer to me and touched my arm. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" "Yeah, Stevey, I'll be fine! They fixed me right up." He looked at me with wide eyes. "You love Tim! Why were you yelling at him?" "It's complicated. I was trying to convince him to listen to reason. Stevey, Tim is just too young for me and I'm too old for him. I'm incredibly flattered that he's apparently attracted to me, but it just won't work! We're almost thirty years apart! And he doesn't know it, yet, but I'm his new boss! That's just not fair to everyone else in the office. On top of that, it'll look like I hired him just because he's my boyfriend and that wouldn't be fair to Tim. No, it just wouldn't work. You do understand, don't you?" Stevey looked as if he was giving it some deep thought. "No, I don't understand. Those things don't sound important. Tim loves you! He told me! Why don't you just love him back? Tim's really cool! I know he'll be nice to you! Just give him a chance!" My vision of Robert told me that, too. I sighed. "Stevey, I can't. Tim has so much to learn and so many things to experience. He's just starting his life, and I'm past the middle of mine." "So, if he needs to learn something, you can teach him! Can't you just do stuff together?" Every time I think I have an answer, there seems to be a counter for it. If it isn't Tim then it's Stevey. I think they're comparing notes and ganging up on me. Tim walked in the door carrying my coffee, and I was relieved that my conversation with Stevey was finished. However, Tim's eyes were as big as saucers; bigger than usual, I should say. "Tim? What's wrong?" "Down the hall. Everyone was running around like they were crazy. That sound we heard. It was gun shots."To be continued . . . .