October 3, 2000 Derikab@hotmail.com *Nsync with my Premonitions-Part 10
This story isn't real, but boy do I wish it was. 8-D
Author's Note This chapter will be different than the others. When you find a single row of stars (* * * * ) chopping the page in half, I have switched the point of view from Monty to JC. The reason is because if I didn't, there would be a lot of information left out. You will understand after you read this chapter. Whey you find double stars (* ** ** **) chopping the page in half, I have switched back to Monty's point of view. It won't be that confusing, trust me. Thanks for reading.
While I was back home, I decided to give Cat a call to see if she needed any help on a part time basis. She said that I could come and be her assistant if I wanted to. I explained that I would be leaving again in a month or two. She said it wouldn't be a problem. I took a week off before going back to work. JC and I kept in touch almost everyday from the time I got back. A lot of times he would get online and let me know he was just too tired to talk, so I would let him go and we would meet up at another time.
The days turned into weeks and then a month passed. The papers were finally letting JC out of the spotlight. Since they couldn't find me in any more pictures after I left Houston, they just gave up. Every once in a while, some reporter would put him back in a picture and ask where the 'Mystery Man', as they called me, was. I was just glad that I left when I did.
One afternoon when I got off work, I decided to see if JC might be online. When I got my computer on, He was there waiting for me.
"Hey, baby," JC typed.
"Hey, yourself. How are you?"
"I'm fine. I've noticed the papers have stopped talking about us. 8-)"
Chuckling to myself, I typed back, "So have I. I'll be back with you soon. What's the schedule like?"
"We will be going to Canada within the week and then we will come across to Chicago and then back up to Canada then end up in New York. After New York, we only have about a month left on the tour. Then we will be together for a long time."
"What do you say if I were to meet up with you at New York? Would that be ok?"
"That would be great. 8-) I can't wait for you to come back. I miss you."
"I miss you too, but we only have two more weeks. Can you last that much longer?"
"I guess so, but you better be ready to get some when you come back. evil grin"
"Oh, no..."
"Yup. I am a horny little guy. You are going to have a fun night when you get back."
"I can't wait. By the way, how is Lance doing?"
"Better. When you left, he seemed to go back to his old self. He's come out of his depression. I don't know why he doesn't care for you too much."
"I don't know either. Maybe when I get back, he and I could hang out some to get to know each other better. That might help."
"Maybe so. Justin said hey."
"Hey, Justin, baby. How ya doing?"
"He says fine. He want to know when your coming back. He misses you too."
"Ahh. Isn't that sweet."
"I told him that you will be meeting us in NY and he smiled. He misses you almost as much as me. The others said hey too. Even Lance."
"Tell them hi for me. Well, let me let you go. I want to get a nap. I'll keep in touch. Tell everyone I said bye."
"OK, will do. I'll talk to you later. I love you."
"Je t'adore, Mio amore"
He wrote it back to me and we both got offline.
Before going to get a nap, I went to the piano and played my song. It helps to sooth me now that JC isn't around. After I finished, I headed upstairs for a nap.
Later on in the evening, Tony invited me to the restaurant for dinner. I asked if Cat could come and he said it would be fine. I called Cat and she said she would meet me there in 30 minutes. I hopped in the shower and got dressed then left.
When I got there, Cat arrived a little early and was already sitting with Tony and Mitch. Tony already put in my order and had a glass of tea waiting on me.
"I'm assuming your getting the same as always?" Tony asked.
"Yup. No reason changing a good thing," I smile back.
"Mitch and I have something for you," Tony said.
"What?" I asked.
"When the boys were at the house, I took some pictures and I framed some for you. Here, from both of us."
He handed me an 11x8 frame with a collage of pictures of JC and myself. In the very center, there were three pictures lining from top to bottom. The top was the two of us side by side with our arms around the other's back. The middle one was of us hugging and the bottom was of us kissing. On either side of them were some of us sitting on the couch holding each other and some of us on the porch.
I just stared at the gift and began to smile and remember that day. Cat interrupted my thoughts and asked when I was going back to them.
"It's already been a month-and-a-half. I thought you were going back after only a month," she finished.
"I talked to JC this afternoon and we agreed that I would meet them in New York, in about two weeks. They will be in Canada and then stop in Chicago then finish up Canada then end up in New York."
"Sounds good," Tony told me.
"Why don't you just meet them in Chicago and surprise JC?" Mitchell asked.
"That sounds like a great idea," Cat added.
"I don't know. I have to finish up some things at the office and....."
"Don't worry about the office. I can get Jon to finish it. Just think of JC's face when he sees you a week early."
I thought for a second and began to smile. "He would be surprised. Then he'll attack me."
"Why," they all asked in unison.
"He already told me that I was gonna have a 'fun' night when I got back. He's so horny that he's about to explode."
They all just started laughing and I finally agreed. I would have to leave next Monday. Today was Thursday, so I only had a few days to get things ready. I was getting more excited thinking about it. I was out of it through most of dinner thinking about JC's expression. Tony had to kick me once to bring be back to the table. I stayed alert after that. His kicks hurt.
By Sunday, all the arrangements were made. The plane ticket was waiting for me at the airport, I got myself a rental car and I was packed ready to go. On Monday, I left the house by 11:00 am and got to the airport and found out that bad weather in Chicago was delaying all inbound and outbound planes. They announced that it shouldn't be more than hour or so before we could leave.
When we finally left Nashville, it was 9:00 pm. Their hour delay turned into nine. I was almost ready to call the whole thing off, but there was no refund on the tickets and I had nothing else to do.
When I arrived at Chicago, it was already after 10:00 pm and I still had about a 30-minute ride to the hotel. Through all of Chicago traffic, it ended up being over an hour getting there. When I finally arrived, I saw Sonya in the lobby and told her that I was here to surprise JC.
"He will be so happy. He hasn't stopped talking about you since you left."
"Sounds like him. I'm sorry that he had to bore you with talking about me. I'm nothing special."
"To him, you are very special. C'mon, I'll get you a key to his room. He won't care."
"Great. I can't wait to see his face."
She just looked at me and smiled as we walked to the desk. Once she got a key she handed it to me and explained that the guys were in their own suites. They had sold the grand suite and they had their own rooms, so I won't disturb the others when I go in.
"Great. What floor?"
"Twenty-fifth. He's in 2508. To get to the top floor, there is a key slot in the elevator. Slip your key in and push 25."
I told her thanks and left to see JC. When I got to the room, I called his name, but there was no answer. I looked in the living room of the suite and didn't see him. I walked in the bedroom and still no sign.
'He must be with one of the other guys,' I though.
I put my things in the bedroom on the other side of the bed. Then came back in the living room and started reading a book that I brought. Before I left, Tony gave me a copy of the top picture in the frame. I pulled it out and looked at it before laying it on the table next to me.
After about 50 or so pages in my book, I heard someone at the door. I quickly reached up and turned the light off and sat in the dark waiting. When the door opened, there were two people there. I first thought I was in the wrong room. Then I heard JC's voice. My heart broke. He and the other person came in the room and stood behind the couch and were kissing. The other guy tried to take JC's hat off, but he reached up and held on to it. He was going through the same routine he had with me. Tears started falling down my cheeks.
'I couldn't believe he would do this to me. I thought he loved me,' I said to myself.
I just sat there with my eyes closed. I couldn't stand to see him kissing someone else. I waited for him to take the other guy in the bedroom, and then I got up. I grabbed the picture next to me and started to leave. When I got to the door, I turned around and saw that he came back into the living room, looking for something. He couldn't seem to find it in the dark, so I reached up and turned the light on.
"Will this help?" I asked in a very hurt tone, through my tears.
JC looked up and saw me and his face when white. His eyes grew big and he couldn't believe I was there.
"How could you? I thought you loved me more than this?"
When he was finally able to speak, he just said my name. After another long pause he asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I was going to surprise you. I guess I succeeded. I was the last person you hoped to see tonight. Bastard!!! I can't believe you would do this to me. Don't call me. I don't want to see you anymore."
As I said that, I tore the picture in half and let the two pieces fall to the floor. JC looked down and noticed what the picture was. I swung the door open and ran for the elevator. JC ran after me wearing only his underwear. Before he could get in the elevator, the doors closed. For the ride down, I was crying harder.
When the door opened, I ran to the front and handed my ticket to the valet. He grabbed it and ran for the car. When he arrived, I got in and noticed that JC started running for me. When he cleared the doors, I sped off, squealing my tires. I noticed him in the mirror. He was running after me, but quickly gave up when he realized there was no hope. I was turning the corners in the city like a cop was chasing me. I was crying so hard that I couldn't see well, so I let go of the steering wheel to wipe my eyes.
I sat in my room after telling Edwin he had to leave. I couldn't believe I did that to Monty. I loved him so much. I just couldn't believe I was stupid enough to cheat on him. As I sat there thinking, I began to cry. I had hurt him, bad. I laid back on the bed and started to cry harder, knowing I might have lost him forever.
As I was crying, my cell phone started ringing. I jumped from the bed and ran to the phone. The caller ID said it was Monty.
"Monty, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I was just stupid. I'm sorry."
"Is this JC?" an unfamiliar voice asked.
"Yes. Who is this and why do you have Monty's phone?"
"Do you know Montgomery Blake?"
"Yes. Who are you, and how do you know my name?"
"I'm Dr. Carlos Allen. Your name and number is on Mr. Blake's phone. Mr. Blake has been in an accident and he's at the hospital, unconscious."
"Oh, God, no. No, no, no," I said, starting to cry harder.
" Are you in Chicago?"
"Yes."
"Would you mind coming down. We need to get some information from you. What is your last name?" Dr Allen asked.
"Chasez."
"Mr. Chasez. I need for you to come here. Would you please?"
"I'm on my way," I said grabbing a shirt. "What hospital?"
"Chicago Hope. Please hurry. By the way, is he allergic to anything that you know of?"
"He told me that he wasn't allergic to anything."
"Thanks. We'll start treatment. Please hurry."
I hung up the phone and ran for Justin's room. When I got there I started knocking harder and harder until he answered.
"What is it JC?" he asked, wiping his eyes.
"Monty's been in a car wreck. He's in the hospital. I've got to go."
"Hold on. I'm coming with you."
Before he could get dressed I was running down the hall. "JC wait!!!" Justin yelled to me.
When the doors opened, Justin was running to me. Before the doors closed, he squeezed in with me.
"Oh, God, Justin. I fucked up big time," I said through my tears.
Coming over to hug me, he asked, "How did you fuck up. He got in an accident. It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. He was in my room waiting for me and I brought someone back with me. He caught me and left. Before I could catch him, he got in his car and sped away. I was so stupid. I didn't mean to hurt him. I don't know why I did it."
Justin gave me a look of disapproval, but didn't say anything. He just held me tighter. When we got outside, Justin hailed a cab and I told the driver where to go.
When we got to the hospital, I asked a nurse where Monty was. No one would help me. I was getting pissed and Justin noticed it.
"JC, calm down. Sit here for a second. I'll find out where he is. Josh, Don't worry. He'll be fine. Just wait for me. I'll be right back."
I took a seat and placed my head in my hands and continued to cry. A minute later, Justin came to retrieve me. He led me to Dr. Allen and he started asking me questions. I answered them the best I could. I was still too upset to help too much. When he was done, I asked if I could see him. He took me to a nearby curtain and I grabbed Justin for balance.
"I have to warn you, he doesn't look good, physically. He's doing fine, otherwise. He's stable but not in critical condition."
When he was done, he pulled the curtain back and I almost fainted. Justin held me up and we walked closer. He had tubes and wires all over. He had two black eyes and his face was cut pretty bad. His hands and arms were bruised all over and had cuts on them too. The machine in the corner beeped with the rhythm of his heart. I couldn't believe that I caused this to happen. I turned to Justin and hugged him tighter and cried harder. He was trying to sooth me, but it didn't work. I just felt so guilty.
'If I hadn't gone out, then this wouldn't have happened,' I yelled to myself.
Justin told me that one of us should call his family and let them know. I told him I didn't have the heart to tell them. "After all, it's my fault he's here."
"Sit here and I'll call them," he said. He pulled a chair up next to the bed and asked what Monty's parents name was.
"Marie and Mike. Please don't tell them why. Make up something if you have to, but don't tell them it was my fault. Please!!"
"Don't worry. Just stay here with him. I'll be back soon."
As Justin left, he closed the curtain and I reached up and grabbed Monty's hand gently. I just held it and cried.
"I'm so sorry, Monty. I don't know what I was doing. I just let my dick take over. I know that's no excuse. I don't know what happened. I was sitting at the bar and he was just looking at me. We started talking, then one thing let to another. I know there is no excuse for hurting you like this. I never intended to hurt you." Big sigh. Wiping my tears away. "I'm sorry, baby. Just get better, please. I don't think I could live without you. Please."
I leaned down and kissed his hand. I put my forehead against it and let the tears flow. I was like that for a minute or two before Justin walked in.
"I got a hold of Marie. She said she was on her way, but I told her that the Dr. said he would be fine. I had to talk her out of it. But she told me to call her at the slightest change and keep her updated. She has this number, so she will be calling. Do you want the phone?"
I shook my head no. Justin put it in his pocket and came over closer to me.
He put his hand on my shoulder and just stood there before speaking again.
"I called the guys. They should be here soon. They said they wanted to."
"What did you tell them?"
"Nothing, yet. I thought that you should be the one to do that."
I looked back over to Monty's face and stared. Justin stood in silence. The only sound in the small room was the heart monitor.
After the guys arrived, the doctors moved Monty to the 4th floor. He was in a single room at my request. The guys just stayed around and kept me company. I wasn't paying them much attention. I just kept staring at Monty. I just hope he knows how sorry I am for what I did
After a while, I noticed the room was silent. I looked around and found it empty except for Monty and myself. I stood and stretched and Lance walked back in.
"Where are the others?" I asked.
"They went outside to get some air. How are you holding up?"
Looking back at Monty, I answered, "We'll know as soon as he wakes."
"What happened? Why is he here? I thought he was going to meet us in New York?"
"He came to surprise me, only I surprised him instead."
"How?"
"He was waiting for me when I got back from the club, only I wasn't alone. He saw us and before he left, he tore this." I handed the picture to Lance and he just looked.
"JC? How could you even think..."
"I know what I did was stupid, Lance. I don't need some lecture. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I caused him to be here. I feel guilty enough. OK?"
I looked down at the floor and Lance just said ok. He came over and gave me a hug and asked if I wanted him to stay. I told him to go and join the others. I wasn't leaving. At about 1:30 in the morning, the guys left to go back to the hotel. Justin decided to stay behind and wait with me. He was worried about Monty but he wanted to keep an eye on me, as well.
Justin settled on the ledge in the window and I sat in the chair next to Monty's bed. After talking for a while, we both fell asleep.
The next morning, I was awakened by voices. Tony and Mitchell arrived. I guess Marie or Justin called them. I rubbed my eyes and stood. Tony came over and gave me a hug then Mitchell followed. They asked what happened. After beating around the bush for a few minutes, Justin simply called my name and I told them. They had a disappointed look in their eyes, and I knew they started disliking me at that point. I just looked at the floor, ashamed.
Later in the afternoon, Tom came to the hospital to talk to me. He said that we had to leave for the next date.
"Tom, I can't leave. I'm the reason he's here."
"JC, we have obligations we have to attend to here."
"Well, I have my own obligations here."
"JC, these concerts have been sold out for months. We can't just not go."
"I'm not leaving, Tom. Reschedule the dates, I don't care."
"We can't..."
"Then cancel them," I said, cutting him off. "I'm not leaving. Figure something out or cancel. Those are your options. You choose."
I gave Tom a mean look, and then walked away.
For the next three days, we just all sat and waited for Monty to come around. The doctors said that his condition hasn't changed which was a good sign that he would recover. 'At lease he hasn't worsened,' I thought to myself. Every time I looked at his sweet face, I knew that I hurt him.
Yesterday, I was alone with him and started to talk. I didn't know if he could hear me, but I talked anyway. I was just saying how stupid and sorry I was for doing what I did. When I ran out of words, I began to sing to him softly. I choose "I wanna love you forever", because it's our song. While I was singing, I started crying thinking about the time we danced to this song for an hour. I have never felt more loved than I did at that moment. When I was through, I saw a tear fall down his cheek. I knew he heard me, and I knew he was hurt.
I sat by his side for five days now, not leaving to eat or sleep. I wanted to be there when he woke up. I wanted to be the first person he saw when he opened his eyes. I know there's a big chance that he won't want to see me, but I wanted to be there anyway. All the guys tried everything to get me to go outside for just ten minutes, but I refused every time. "What if he woke up for a minute, and I wasn't here?" I would tell them. They eventually gave up and left me alone.
The next day started the same as the previous four. I woke up to the sound of voices and looked around until I noticed who they belonged to. I looked at Monty and noticed he was still in the same condition. No change. I was growing sicker everyday knowing I was the cause for this. I decided there was one way to stop my own pain. I asked Justin where the bus was and he told me that it was parked outside.
"Do you want me to come with you," he asked.
"No. I just need to be alone for a few minutes. I'll be back soon," I told him then walked off.
I went to the bus and went back to the bed. Underneath, I had pulled a small piece of covering off the wall and made it a secret stash for myself. I reached under the bed and inside the hole and found what I was looking for. When I laid it on the bed, the sun caught the barrel and it reflected back in my eyes. That's when I started crying. I knew that this would take care of the problem and I wouldn't be able to hurt Monty anymore.
I picked up the gun and stuffed it in the back of my jeans and pulled my shirt over it for cover. I walked back in the hospital and up the stairs to the fourth floor. When I got to the room, I asked if I could be alone with him. Everyone left the room leaving Monty and myself alone. I sat down next to him and started crying harder.
"I love you, Monty. You'll never know how much. I just wish you could see that. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just hurting at the thought that I might not have you anymore. I wish you would just sit up and yell at me, hit me, just come back so that I know you'll be ok." Looking down at the floor, I wiped my eyes and stood up. I reached behind my neck and untied my necklace. I placed it in his hand and closed it around tightly. Leaning over him, I said, "I love you Montgomery. Please never forget that." I went down to touch his lips to mine and gave him a soft kiss goodbye. As I did, a tear fell from my eye to his cheek.
When I turned and opened the door, the machines started blaring with noises.
I opened the door and called for a doctor. Three doctors came rushing past me and went to help.
"His blood pressure's falling," I heard one say.
I couldn't listen to anymore. Justin came and stood next to me and I turned to walk away.
"JC, where're you going?"
"I can't watch this. I need to be alone." I said back, never turning around.
I walked down the hall until I came to the stair well. Instead of going down, I decided to go to the roof. Every step I took, I kept thinking how we would soon be together again. I freely let the tears fall. By the time I got to the door, they were leaving trails down my cheeks.
I stepped onto the roof and into the sun. It was a beautiful day for my last day, I thought. I just walked around for about ten minutes then decided it was time. I walked over to the center of the building and stood there.
I started hearing voices that sounded very far away then they gradually started coming closer. I wanted to move, but every muscle in my body was aching. The last thing I remember was seeing JC standing by himself on top of a building in the sun. He had something in his hand, but I couldn't make out what. I slowly opened my eyes to a crack and saw everyone standing around talking. I was lying down, but didn't know why.
Next to the door, Chris, Joey and Mitch were talking. At the end of the bed, Tony and Lance were talking. I glanced my eyes over to the window and saw Justin sitting on the ledge. He glanced over and saw my eyes were opened.
"Guys," I heard him call, waving his hand to get their attention. "He's awake. Look!!"
The rest of the guys looked and saw that my eyes were opened.
"Monty," Tony called, "can you hear me?"
I couldn't find my voice so I mouthed the word yes.
"Where's JC?" I asked in a very soft whisper.
"I think he's downstairs. I'll get him," Justin said.
Before he could turn his head, I whispered no.
"Lance," I called.
He came over to me and I asked if he would go and get him.
"Sure. Be back in a minute."
"Lance....roof," I whispered to him.
"Roof?" he asked puzzled.
"Roof," I whispered again.
Lance turned and left the room. As the other talked to me, I closed my eyes. I was still very tired. I needed more rest.
As I stood there, I just kept thinking how much I disappointed Monty and the others. I knew Justin was disappointed the most. He has never known me to do something so stupid. To me, I let him and Monty down.
I reached to my back and pulled the gun. I looked at it before cocking it. Then I put it to my right temple.
"Please forgive me, Monty. I love you," I said, looking at the sky.
With tears streaming down my face, I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.
To Be Continued..........
Ahh, my first cliffhanger. Can you wait until the next installment? Well, it looks as if you have no choice.
Please email me and let me know what you think. If you do, I will put you on my mailing list to let you know when I have submitted the continuing parts. I hope that you enjoyed the story so far. There is more to come. Derikab@hotmail.com