Here's part 10, everyone. To Matt, Jason, Allen, Jake, Victor and all the others who have written me with positive reinforcement, thank you all very much. This is the one part of the story that I've had firmly in mind since it began, so I hope you all like it. Please e-mail me with your own stories and ideas. I love to chat. This will be the last part of my story about me and NSYNC, so along with the thanks, I also give my goodbyes. Ryan.
I woke up the next morning to bright sunlight streaming from around the drawn curtains of our bedroom. I groaned softly. I was exhausted. I turned towards Justin sleepily and said lovingly, "You wore me out, baby." But then I blinked. He wasn't there! I blinked owlishly for a minute and then chuckled at my own stupidity. "He must be in the bath or something," I muttered. So I got out of bed and went to our bathroom. No sign of him here. -Maybe he didn't want to wake me up-I thought, so I went downstairs. Still no sign of him, either in the great room or in the kitchen.
I searched every room of the house frantically. I was getting very upset. It's not like Justin to leave like this. I sat on the sofa and cried. Could it be that he only wanted a quick fuck? --NO!-I mentally screamed. -Justin wouldn't do that! And he wouldn't leave without a-I ran upstairs and yanked the covers down. Aha! There WAS a note, and it was attached to a rose! How sweet! I opened the curtains to let in some light and looked over at the rose still lying on the bed. The blood drained from my face. It wasn't red, like I had thought in the darkness. It was black! I got a chill. I had a bad feeling about this, and I began trembling.
I picked up the note and read the formal and beautiful script, "You have dared to bring another into this disgrace? Join me at 10:00 pm at 1541 Calloway Place. Be there alone and come with HONOR. Tonight either you will die or he will. The choice is yours." And the signature was left in Japanese.
I started to tremble in rage. I only knew two people in the world who could EVER have snuck into my house and kidnapped my love while I was still sleeping right next to him! But that thought made me sober up, because those two people could easily kick my ass. My thoughts flew back to the Japanese man who I had come across, and especially his parting words, "We will meet again."
I wrote out my will and signed it, leaving everything to Justin in the unfortunate event that I lost. I knew what was coming. The rest of the day, I fought to control my worry and focus. I knew that if I got too concerned for Justin, my emotions would take over and I would lose. I ground my teeth together and grated, "I promised I would protect you Justin, and I will. I said I would die for you, and I WILL!" I shouted.
I unplugged the phones, lights, radio, TV, everything and went to my practice area in the basement. I lit incense and placed them in the corners of North, South, East and West and begged the spirits of Earth, Air, Fire and Water to help me. I lit a candle in the center and focused myself on its light. I stretched for almost an hour and then began to meditate.
I woke from my meditation at 8:00 pm, feeling calm, and began to get ready. I knew that I would need everything this time. So I stretched again, this time going as high and as hard as I could and began the ceremony that would allow me to wear my equipment.
First I put on my tabis. Next came the night-black pants that were light as silk but were matte black like cotton and a long-sleeved shirt-almost a tunic made of the same material followed suit. I slipped my middle finger on both hands through the rings at its tips and allowed the cloth to cover the tops of my hands as well. I finally put on the vest-it was thick cotton that was pitch black and formed shoulder pads lined with shiny black silk.
I strapped my dragon sword, my ninjatou onto my back so that the dragon stood above my right shoulder. My katana, my wolf sword, I strapped onto my back horizontally, facing slightly downward so that my left hand could slide back and draw it or my right arm could come across instead. On my right thigh, I had a black leather case that held 12 shuriken-three pointed stars. Along my lower back and on both of my shins, I attached throwing knives. All of them had black blades and handles. Lastly, I grabbed my climbing claws. These strapped to the hands and were sharp, nail-like pieces of metal that curled downward slightly and allowed the wearer to sink his hands into wood in order to climb a tree, for example. Lastly, but before I attached the claws, I pulled out a strip of black cloth about one foot wide and several feet long. I wrapped it around my neck and tucked one end of it down the front of my shirt. The other end, I wrapped under my chin and over my head and came around the front of my face so that when I was done, only my flashing green eyes were visible. I snarled, grabbed my claws and was off. It would take me an hour to get there, so I knew that I would have to hurry in order to get there in time.
Forty-five minutes later, I arrived at the address a little winded from the long run. It was an old building, but was still kept in moderately good condition. It had a flat roof with some skylights, so I looked for a way to get up there. Luckily for me, a large palm tree grew straight up about five feet from the building. I hooked on my climbing claws and quickly scaled my way upwards. With a quick jump, I landed silently on the roof and began looking through the skylights to find where Justin was. Finally, I found him, sitting as though flung on the floor looking very scared. Seeing this, my anger flared. The asshole would pay for this! I quietly slid some of the glass from the skylight and watched, looking for my adversary.
I soon saw him, dressed in a very similar manner as I was, but with three exceptions. First, he had no mask on as I did. Second, he had no weapons on him, and third: I shivered and thought -not good. Third, he was dressed entirely in red. -Now I know how good he is-I thought. -I'm dead. Only the best ever dressed entirely in red, and he knew that I knew this. He also knew that I was aware that the punishment is death to anyone who wears that gi without earning it first.
He was watching the clock on the wall intently and at the stroke of 10, he strolled over to Justin.
"Your lover is late," he informed my husband coolly. "I'm afraid we must learn the penalty for tardiness. I think that only one of your fingers broken will do for now."
Justin screamed and began trying to back away but the man just laughed and took hold of Justin's right hand.
"No, please don't!" Justin cried out, in tears.
"NO!" I screamed as I flipped several times from the roof to land, silently on the floor. "Let him go!"
The man turned. "At last." He flung Justin against the wall with a smack and Justin groaned and slid against the wall, dizzy.
I looked at my opponent. "Why? Why do you attack me? You tell me to come with HONOR and you kidnap an innocent? That is NOT THE WAY OF BUSHIDO!" I shouted at him, angrily.
He laughed and replied calmly. "Why should I follow the Path for you? You are an abomination and I have been ordered to silence you. I have let you go seeing as you have become weak and thinking you no threat. I showed you MERCY," he snarled. "But by this absurdity, there is the potential that you may teach what you have learned," he explained.
"You're damn right I'm going to teach what I have learned, asshole. If only to spite you and those who sent you!" I spat at him.
"But your anger serves me." He retaliated. "And by the code, you must DIE!"
With that, he came at me in a flying side kick that would have taken off my head if I hadn't rolled underneath him. I quickly came up with a spinning back kick designed to nail him in the back of his head. But he spun too quickly for me and blocked my foot downwards, hard, and came in for a counterpunch. But I used the momentum of his downward block to propel me forward and I flipped into an axe kick, which he had to block or get his collarbone broken. By blocking it, his punch was ruined and he stepped back into his en garde position, hands crossed in front of the center of his chest.
Unlike last time, I also stepped into the same fighting stance, and the two of us circled each other, each trying to gain the advantage over the other. I came in first with a fake front kick, expecting him to block down and when he did, my foot flung upwards in a kick that caught him under the jaw. He did a back handspring and his heel nearly broke my nose, buy I stepped back. He flipped onto his feet and the two of us began to trade blows and blocks faster than the eye could see. He came around with a reverse punch and I blocked it with a sidearm block with my left hand and threw an elbow into his chest with my right arm. I connected and tried an uppercut with the same elbow, but he blocked it and came down with an axe handle to the side of my face. I dropped and kicked my right leg upwards and he jumped backwards to avoid the kick. I flipped up onto my feet and threw a cross punch, but it went a little too far, and he caught it. He flipped me over his shoulder and I landed painfully on my back, but I wrapped both legs around his neck and managed to pull his body over mine in a leg throw. I rolled back onto my feet and stepped back into position. I was fighting by pure instinct now. I couldn't tell what he was going to do or even what I was going to do. I was being controlled by my hatred for him.
After around fifteen minutes of constant maneuvering that I couldn't describe even if I tried, he caught me with a surprise side kick to the belly. I doubled over and his hand flew forward in the same motion and drew my dragon sword from my back. Still in the same motion, he spun around, building momentum for the sword to cut my head off.
The instant I felt my sword sliding from its sheath, I reached around and drew my katana and blocked his attack with my point down. I used the curve of the blade to slide his sword up and quickly brought it around to slice at his lower legs. He did a jump back flip out of the way, which gave me enough time to cradle up onto my feet and get my sword in ready position.
The next phase of the battle was horrendous. I couldn't even attack him, I was too busy blocking. I would come high across and he would block it and counter high in the opposite direction. Our blades clanged continuously and sparks flew. I flinched when I got burned in the face, and that gave him the opportunity to get a quick slash along my upper arm. I blocked his second stroke and followed through with an upward stroke. (For those of you who've seen the movie "Blade," this part of the battle is very similar to that final duel, it's just extremely difficult to describe it all.) My counterattack caught him by surprise and he managed to catch my blade, but only barely. It slid along his blade with a hiss and his spin kick hit me in the back of the head as he sidestepped me.
I dove into a roll to take most of the shock. I did a one-handed back handspring with my sword coming at a downward slash and he stepped back to avoid it. I immediately reversed the direction and got a satisfying cut along his thigh. Unfortunately for me, this really pissed him off. He came back into the battle with a snarl, and his attacks came too quickly for me to do anything except for pray. Mysteriously, as though by magic, cuts appeared along my arms and legs, but I miraculously kept them from my chest. I didn't even bother to counterattack, and my face underneath my mask was filled with the utmost sorrow that I'd failed Justin. I jumped backwards and my right hand dropped to my belt. I hurled two shuriken at him and I couldn't even see them: they flew too fast. To my amazement, he flicked his sword to the side and then dropped it quickly and I heard to clangs as my Chinese stars bounced off the blade. "Oh, shit," I muttered and grabbed at my lower back and hurled a throwing dagger at him. His left hand left the hilt of the sword and came in front of his face, catching the blade. I gaped and he turned in his fingers and in one quick motion threw it at me. I jerked my head to the side and came up with my hand and caught it, too. He nodded in respect, quietly said, "You have been trained well," and raised his sword again. I knew that I couldn't keep going. I was already tiring. I parried as often as I could, but I couldn't keep up. I'd definitely failed, and tears filled my eyes. I didn't even see his sword raise, ready for a killing blow. He whispered, "Know that you fought and died with honor." Justin, now awake screamed, "NO!" and ran up in an attempt to tackle my attacker. The small man spun impossibly quickly and his sword rose in a 45 degree angle along Justin's chest. He cried out in extreme pain, and fell backwards, clutching his bleeding chest. "JUSTIN!" I screamed in absolute horror, my sadness forgotten. I was filled with a rage that blocked any emotion that I've ever had. This man would die, I'd see to it. The ferocity of my attack confused and surprised him. Now it was his turn to be on the defensive. He was clearly amazed as the sparks flew and my sword became a flowing, unending blur. As he would move to block my attack, my sword would change direction and bite into him instead. On my final attack, I spun three times, the first spin going high, the second spin going low and even though he knew it was coming, his face showed a look of utter shock as my final strike went under his ribs and the sharp edge struck his spinal cord. In my anger, I didn't even pull my sword out. I performed a spinning heel kick with my right foot and it knocked him painfully off the blade. He screamed and bright blood gushed from his mouth and from the huge gash in his side. I looked at him for a moment and spat on him. "Know that you fought well but died without honor, asshole," I informed him coldly. Then I looked over to Justin who was writhing in pain on the ground. I dropped my sword and ran over to him. His face was pale, and I was suddenly reminded of my first bad dream after falling in love with Justin. "Oh, God, baby" I cried as I rushed to his side. I tore his shirt away and gasped at the amount of blood. There was a gash running from his left hip to his right shoulder. But he was still alive, and I thanked whatever God or spirit had saved him. When I looked at the cut, it was actually not very deep, but the bleeding would have to be stopped or Justin's life would be in danger. I pulled off my mask, slightly damp with my sweat and blood and tears and gently lifted his chest off the ground. His eyes opened at my touch and he smiled at me. I tied my mask tightly around his chest to stop the blood and he winced in pain. "Justin, baby, I'm so sorry," I told him, in tears. I leaned in and kissed him, and then my eyes opened. I just remembered the last part of that dream... Too late, I pulled off the kiss and started to turn around. That was when I felt incredible agony come through my back and I looked down to see the point of my ninjatou sticking through my right lung. I screamed, a gurgling one, since my lungs were already filling with blood. Justin screamed in terror as he saw what happened to me, and saw my assassin standing over me with a hand clenched to his side, bleeding to death. I kicked out behind me and hit his wounded side. He gasped and loosened his grip on the handle of my sword as he stepped backwards, trying to absorb some of the shock and reduce the pain. Every movement agony, I bent forward, trying to get the flow of blood to stop going into my lungs. My opponent staggered backwards a few more feet and as I bent over, my right hand dipped to my hamstring. In one smooth motion, I drew the small knife and threw it behind me. He saw it coming and screamed, but couldn't move fast enough and didn't move any more when the point crunched between his eyes. I reached behind me and grabbed the blade. I slowly, painfully pulled the tip out from the front of my chest and crawled to Justin. I fell forward onto his lap and looked up at him. I mouthed, "I love you, Justin," and saw him smile, tears in his eyes as everything went dark and I only knew the sensation of being in his arms.
My eyes opened, and I was in a tunnel that was dark and cold. Justin was there, but he was holding me, crying intently. I looked at him more closely. He was actually in black-and-white and he was rocking back and forth saying, "Please don't leave me. Please, Ryan, don't leave me!"
I said, "Justin, I'm right here! I won't leave you!" But he didn't hear me and just kept repeating himself. "Justin!" I screamed, afraid.
"He can't hear you, Ryan," a familiar voice said to me.
My eyes widened in shock and I spun around to see my mother standing there. She was dressed exactly as she had been at my graduation party and she looked younger than before. My eyes filled with tears and I fell, sobbing into her arms. "Mommy!" I cried, and hugged her hard-never intending on letting go. She stroked my hair and comforted me. "Shh. It'll be all right. I'm here now. We're all here." I lifted my head and looked over her shoulder. There was my dad, my sister, my cousins and everyone who I'd lost. I looked at her, shocked. "But you're all dead!" "I know, sweetheart." "But-does that mean I am, too?" "Oh, honey!" Mom exclaimed. But she didn't elaborate. "But," I looked longingly back at Justin. "I know, honey. I know that you really love him." "Mom," I asked, afraid for the first time, "are you still proud of me? Even after all this?" "Oh, Ryan, you know you don't have to ask you. We all just wanted to tell you how much we miss you and we will always be proud of you." I looked back, and everyone nodded, even my friends and cousins younger than me. "I-I miss you all, too," I confided. "We know, sweetie. We've been watching you." "You have?" I asked, sobbing. "Of course," she assured me. "I love you all so much," I cried. "We love you too, but we also know you love Justin," she told me. "So go to him. We understand. Go to him," she stopped the hug and gave me a slight shove in his direction. "You have fought since this separation bravely, Ryan," she said to me seriously, "and now you need to fight this. He needs you more than we do. Go to him." And she started to fade away. My dad called out, "Ryan, I couldn't be more proud of you than I am now!" He waved goodbye and so did the rest of my family. I fell to my knees and cried like a baby. I looked up and saw Justin, leaning over me and crying profusely. I ran for him and hugged him as tightly as I could, but he just didn't seem to feel it. I reached up and kissed him deeply putting all of my heart and soul into my kiss. All of my hope for our lives together went through me. I felt a jolt and opened my eyes again. Justin was in color again and he smiled down at me. He had called the ambulance and came back to try to keep me with him. "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered to me. "I could never leave you," I told him, full of adoration. "You almost did," he reminded me with unshed tears making his eyes bright. "I know, but Mom told me to come back to you." "You saw your mom?" He asked, concerned. "Yeah," I started crying again. "She told me she was proud of me and said that she loved me." He cried too, and said, "Are you strong enough to tell me what this was all about?" "I guess so. I told you guys that I learned a little bit of ninjitsu, remember?" "Uh huh," he answered, still confused. "Well, I learned more than just a little. I was trained fully in the arts," I explained. "And the code forbids teaching the arts to outsiders." "So you had to die?" "Yes. I was a risk, but when he realized that I only used the arts to protect myself and seldom even used the forbidden arts, he decided to sit back and watch. Once we got married, he knew that there was the potential that I would teach you. He couldn't let that happen, so I had to die. And to make sure that I'd fight him, he took you, knowing that I'd come." "Why didn't he kill you when he took me?" Justin asked curiously. I closed my eyes, tired. "The same code that says I must die also says that I have the chance to prove myself worthy of the training. I had to beat him." "I see," he sounded worried, though. "Will it happen any more?" "No. By beating him, I've declared my worth and am considered worthy now." My vision darkened again as he leaned in and kissed me again: just as the ambulance arrived to take us to the hospital. I woke up with everyone standing around my bed. Justin had some stitches on his chest, and he would be fine. I had lost a lot of blood, but the doctors told me that I had survived the worst and would pull through. Lynn looked relieved as I opened my eyes, and Joey, Lance, and Justin all had tears in their eyes. "Let's go home," I said to Justin. He leaned over me and kissed me again. Everyone left us alone for a few minutes and we embraced as though we hadn't seen each other for years. Then Justin's eyes widened and he saw my mother looking down on me. She smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then she disappeared. Then, we went home and made love tenderly, sweetly, and hourly.
Now, I've written how Justin and I got together and fell in love. Oh, excuse me for a moment-I need to get Justin off my lap while I'm writing. Now he says it was MY idea to do this whole thing. Anyway, a lot of our fans wrote me, wondering why I was in the hospital and how I met Justin and got to be part of the group. Justin basically commanded me to tell them the truth and when I told the fans that we were married, there were a lot of disappointed girls, but lots of guys were delighted for us, so we really didn't lose any fans. Our new, closer fans wanted to know the whole deal, and he decided that it would be best if I wrote what happened instead of telling the same story over and over again. We're still together and living in our house on Captiva. All of our friends from BSB and NSYNC are here and they all cried reading my proposal all over again. Believe it or not, Joey and Brian ended up together, but that's not my story to tell. After Justin and I got back from the hospital, well, you all know the rest. Goodnight to all of you and we'll see you at our next concert.
Ryan and Justin
Thanks again to everyone who has written me. I'll miss you and I hope you all keep in touch. Thanks all and I love you all. All you budding authors, go for it, and Zeo, JM, Mike, thanks a lot for all of your support and encouragement. I couldn't have done it without any of you. Ryan