** Y'alls been great. This will be the last story segment for a ** while...ok for a long, long time...I'll be taking a break in order to ** catch up with my life...Don't know when the next one will be out...
Chapter 13: Sincerity
I looked at JC shocked, "JC?....What did you say?"
"I love you and I can't bear to ask you this."
"Ask me what," I was lost.
"I know that you've been through rough times in your life and I care and love you so much like a brother. That's why it's so hard to ask you."
I calmed down a bit, 'Oh,' I thought. "Go ahead JC," I spoke to him, "You know you can ask anything of me."
"OK...Here is goes," he took another deep breath, "As you can probably tell, all of us haven't been happy lately."
"It's about Lance, right?" looking at the water.
"H..how? How'd you know?" asking me surprised.
"Justin told me earlier while we were eating."
"Oh. I guess he and I think alike," he commented.
"What was it you were going to ask of me?"
"Well...I was wondering if you could talk to Lance about his problems," JC begging me, "This problem is eating him up and none of can help. We're worried that he'll do something drastic," JC started to cry.
I put my arms around his waist and hugged him deeply. JC quietly cried in my shoulder.
"Don't worry," I whispered, "I'll do everything in my power to help him. I will not let any of you guys down...especially you JC."
"Thanks," he whispered back.
The sun had already set and it was getting pretty dark and cold.
"You should get back to the hotel," I said breaking the hug.
"Yeah...I should," sniffling.
The walk back was a slow and quiet one. I tried to cheer him up a little. I had my arm around his waist and his on my shoulder. We looked like a regular couple walking along the pier. God I wished it was true. But I know it's not so I better deal with it. The cars were few and scarce and no one was around. The city was very quiet. You could hear the winds humming in-between buildings. It was almost 10 when we reached the hotel. We walked in and I turned to talk to JC.
"I'll be back by tomorrow. I'll come by at around noon to talk to Lance and to talk to you guys about something."
"About what?" JC asked curiously.
"Like I said, I'll tell you tomorrow," I laughed.
"OK. See you later."
It was one of those moments that I wanted to kiss him good-bye. It frustrated me that I couldn't. "Bye," I said.
We parted company and he headed for the elevators. I walked out of the hotel and headed for the BART station. It was a long walk, from my point of view anyway.
'What was I thinking,' I thought to myself, 'You swear that he will fall in love with me.'
I got really depressed and headed for home. The ride was a quiet one and I didn't bother to look at anything. I just sat there just looking at the back of the seat in front of me.
'I can't have him,' thinking to myself, 'I can never have him. Not in a million years. But why do I want him so bad....I am in love with him...' a small tear rolled down my face.
I finally reached home after what it seemed like hours. I trudged onto my bed and cried softly to sleep. My life is so screwed up...
JC reached his floor and slowly stepped out of the elevator. No one was around and he slowly went to his room. Inside the room, he lay down on the bed and started to think about what was bothering him.
'Why couldn't I say it?' he thought looking up at the ceiling, 'Why couldn't I tell him? If I told him...everything's gonna change. I don't want that. I don't want to lose him.....I love him too much to lose him....' he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Morning came and everyone was in Justin's room...except Lance.
"Morning you guys," Justin sleepily said.
"Morning Just," Chris and Joey replied.
"Morning," JC groggily spoke.
"Looks like you've been through hell," Chris commented.
"I feel like it to," he replied, "Didn't get much sleep."
"I see," Joey nodded, "How's Lance doing."
"I don't know," Justin replied, "I talked to Mano and he said that he'll help us."
"That's good," Chris agreed, "If he can't help him...I doubt that anyone can."
There was a small bit of silence, "When's Mano coming?" Joey spoke up.
"I told him to come around noon," Justin replied, "I don't know what his plan will be."
"I just hope he can come up with a good one," JC added and everyone agreed.
I was still pretty tired from yesterday and since I was going to meet with Lance today, I decided to cut school. I actually had enough credits to graduate school even if I didn't show up to class for the remainder of the year. I really did want to go, but Lance needed me.
I looked through my dresser and put on something comfortable. I knew that this is going to be a long day. I've always had this gut feeling about everything and I just hope that this time...its wrong. Once everything was ready, I grabbed my backpack with some of the drawings I was going to show them. I wasn't sure if I would be able to show them, but at least I'll try to hint it.
It was about 11 in the morning when I decided to get to the hotel. I was going to go early so I can think of something to do. I just hope that Lance will talk to me. By the sound of everyone, I think he might go over the edge....I quickly shook that out of my head that thinking like that would not help matters.
I finally reached the hotel and it was already 11:45. I walked in and went to the front desk. I asked the receptionist what room number was Justin in. After typing on the computer for a few seconds, he told me that Justin was in room 223. I thanked him and went into the elevator. I knew the ride was a short one, but I had butterflies in my stomach. I don't know why, but I did.
The doors opened and I stepped out. I slowly walked down the halls trying to find the room number. I finally came across it and stood there. I must have looked so stupid just looking at the door. I took in a deep breath and raised my hand. I knocked on the door. Waited for a moment. No response. I knocked again. I could hear soft noises from the other side of the door. 'Damnit Justin,' I thought, 'You're supposed to be awake by now.' I knocked one more time.
I could hear shuffling of feet from the other side. The bolts were unlocked and the door slowly opened. I was surprised to see who was on the other side.
"Mano?" Lance said in a confused tone.
"Lance?" I replied back equally confused. Evidently, Lance and Justin got their rooms mixed up.
"What are you doing here?" he looked at me still half asleep.
"I'm here cause I was going to ask you guys something," looking at him with concern, "You look like you've been drinking all night."
He looked down on the floor, "I have...."
"What!" I exclaimed and then calmed down, "Is it that bad? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Umm...no...not really," still looking at the ground, "I just need some more sleep."
"Oh, OK," I sadly replied, "I'll be on my way then."
I turned around and started towards the elevator, "Wait...um... Mano?" Lance asked me. I stopped and walked back to him.
"What's up?"
"Umm...actually...could I talk to you for a minute?" he softly said.
"Sure. You know you can talk to me anytime," I smiled at him.
"OK. Come in," he opened the door and I stepped in.
I quickly looked around the room and everything was in disarray. The bed looked like it hadn't been made in days. Open liquor bottles were everywhere and the smell of alcohol was prominent. This is really bad. I sat on the edge of the bed and Lance sat next to me.
"Please tell me what is bothering you?" I begged him, "I don't want to see you miserable."
Tears started to well up inside, "I don't know how to say this," his voice began to crack.
"Shhh...take deep breaths and try to calm down," I put my hand on his shoulder.
He started to calm down a little as he took a couple of breaths, "I don't know if you're gonna change once I tell you this, but I have to tell somebody or else I might hurt myself or my friends..." he said trailing off.
"I won't change no matter what you say," I tried to assure him.
"Yeah...I guess."
"What? You don't believe me?" I asked confused.
"I don't know what to believe anymore..." he trailed off.
"You can believe in me," I smiled at him, "You can believe that I won't change because of something you said. Even if you tell me to never talk to you again, I'll still respect and love you no matter what."
Lance forced a small smile, "Mano...I've been thinking a lot lately and my life is so fucked up..." he started to cry. I hugged him, "Mano....I...I'm...I'm gay," that kinda surprised me and I slowly rocked him back and forth, "..an..and Mano..I...I...love..." he cried even harder with his face buried in my shoulder.
I was completely stunned by this point. I had no idea. I really couldn't take it all in. But I had no choice. Lance needed me here and now and I just have to deal with it. Lance eased up a little and broke away from my hold.
"You hate me...don't you," with tears flowing down his cheek.
I looked at him straight in his eyes. I could see the confusion and the anguish in his soul.
"OK...You're gay...so?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"Huh?" he said looking at me even more confused.
"So you're gay. You're the same Lance that I've always known and loved. I don't care if you're gay," I tried to assure him, "This must be a very big deal for you...I can see it. Remember, there are always people out there who will listen to you, who wants to help you out."
"You...you don't hate me?" he hesitantly said.
"Of course not," I smiled, "I can never hate you."
He reached over and wrapped his arms around my waist. He laid his head on my chest and I gently stroked his hair.
"Why didn't you tell one of the guys if this was eating you up so much?" I asked softly.
He sniffled, "Because....because I know what they're gonna think and I don't want to lose them."
I got a little angry at what he just said, "So you told me cause it's OK to lose me right?"
He jumped back, "No...please..I'm sorry..I didn't mean it like that.."
"Then what did you mean," I looked at him.
"I..I don't know.." looking down at the floor.
"I guess I'm just a piece of tissue. Once you use it, you throw it away," I stood up and started to head to the door.
Lance began to sob again, "Please...don...don't leave me..."
I stopped when I reached the door and felt guilty for getting angry at him. It wasn't he fault. I turned around and sat next him on the bed. He slowly wrapped his arms around me once again and I held him there.
"So...do you?" I whispered in his ear.
Lance nodded in agreement, "I see."
He was in my arms for a good long time. Probably about half an hour or so. I was getting hungry and my stomach rumbled a bit. Lance giggled.
"Looks like you're hungry," he finally spoke.
"Well...I haven't eaten lunch yet," he sighed.
"Yeah...don't let me stop you," he let go of the embrace.
I looked at his sad face, I hated it, "Do you want to have lunch with me?" I suggested.
He looked at me quizzically, "I...I can't."
"Why not?"
"Cause..I look all messed up."
"So go take a shower and I'll be waiting here for you."
He smiled at me, "You mean it."
"Of course I do," smiling back.
Lance quickly jumped off the bed and grabbed a new set of clothes. He bolted into the shower and I heard the water running. 'Maybe I should tell the guys about this,' I thought, 'No...I promised I wouldn't say a word.' In five minutes, Lance was already done with his shower.
"The guys are right," I laughed a little, "It doesn't take you long to get ready, does it?"
"It's the hair," he joked, "I can't style it, so it's stuck like that," I laughed at his comment.
"Ready?"
"Yep. Let's go."
Lance looked just like I remember him Orlando. He was finally smiling. He was wearing a solid maroon shirt with a couple of blue lines across the chest area. He was also wearing some blue mesh shorts with sneakers to match. He put on his sunglasses and we headed out the door and to the elevator.
"Where do you want to go?" I asked him as we stepped in the elevator.
"Me?" he looked at me confused, "I thought you were hungry."
"I am, but I want to know what you want to eat. You're probably just as hungry as I am."
He thought about it for a minute, "Blondie's."
"Pizza?" I asked quizzically
"Yeah..I haven't been there in ages."
"OK. No problem," the elevator door opened, "There's one around the corner."
"Really?" replying astonished, "I didn't know that."
"It's your vacation, you should explore a little," putting my arm around his shoulder.
"Maybe I should..."
"After we eat, do you want to come with me?" I asked as we exited the hotel.
"Go with you where?" he cocked an eyebrow.
"To the mall," I smiled widely.
He laughed, "You know I love to shop."
"Yes I do."
We crossed the street and hiked for about 2 blocks.
"Here we are," I said stopping in front of a small store with large letters spelling out BLONDIE'S.
"This is really small," he commented.
"The store is small, but the slices are HUGE," Lance laughed.
Lance ordered the combo slice and I of course would get the veggie.
"Is that all you eat?" he wondered.
"Eat what?" asking confused.
"Vegetables."
"I do have a hard time digesting meat."
"You ate some meat pizza last time," stating a matter of factly.
"That time I was absolutely starving," exaggerating and both of us laughed as we walked down the street stuffing ourselves with food.
About halfway to Union Square we finished munching down on lunch and starting to look around. "Which store do you want to hit first?" I asked him as I scanned around.
"How about..." looking around as well, "That one," pointing to the Macy's building.
"OK, let's go."
As we walked towards the building, I noticed a change in Lance. He didn't look so haggard anymore. His face was full of life and energy once again. Knowing the fact that you're gay is so confusing and dealing with it is even harder to face. I had a good feeling that he'll be all right, but I'm not sure if he's going to tell any of the other guys. He's so afraid of losing them. It's like they are his family.
We entered the mall and looked around quite a bit. Lance looked so funny browsing through the stuff. He looked like a shopper who was going wild on a one day sale. I could have sworn he was the laid back kinda guy. Boy was I wrong. Up the escalator, down the escalator, across the escalator, we just went everywhere.
We passed by the formal wear section and I stopped to look at the stuff. He stopped when he saw me admiring the clothes.
"Didn't know you were into these kinds of things," he said.
"Well," still looking at the clothes, "I do need to rent a tux for the prom."
"What!" he said in shock, "You haven't gotten a suit yet?"
I shook my head.
"Then let's go get you one," he grabbed my arm and pulled me to one of the tailors.
"Thanks for making up my mind for me," I joked and he laughed.
The tailor was very courteous and helpful. He showed me lots of different styles and colors to choose from. I chose an all black suit with a dark blue cumberbun. Instead of opting for a bowtie, I chose a jeweled collar button with matching cuff-links. Lance liked the idea because it was different. I never did go with the crowd. The tailor did his measurements and said that the suit will be ready tomorrow. That would be plenty of time for me to get ready. I was surprised that Lance wanted to pay for it, but I insisted that it was my suit, that I should pay for it. No matter how much he begged, I wouldn't let him. He was a little hurt, but understood. It's probably that Southern hospitality trait that we both have.
We walked around some more in the Macy's building. Hey, the building is very large. There were four upper level floors and two lower level ones. That's just for the men's collection. The women's collection was in another building on the other side of the street. Lance and I went into the other building and he shopped for stuff for his sister and his mom. He wanted to get something for his sister's wedding. Even though it wouldn't happen for a while, he still wanted to get something while he was here.
The stores weren't that crowded, but there was enough people to make it look full. We walked around and I saw a piano in the middle of the place. The middle of the building was cut away so that you can see the other floors above and below you. There was a glass ceiling overhead to let in the sunlight. Next to the piano was a guitar on a stand. I nudged at Lance.
"You wanna sing a little?" pointing towards the instruments.
"Can we?" he asked me.
"Let's go ask," I replied.
I talked to a few of the managers in the building and told us that it was OK as long as we played MUSIC not just a bunch of noise. I assured them that we wouldn't do anything to disrupt the store.
"Which one do you want?" I asked looking at the piano and the guitar.
"I can't play guitar very well, so I guess it's the piano," he sat down.
I took the guitar and started to tune it. Lance did the same thing with the piano, "Which song?" he asked still tuning it.
I thought for a moment, "Sailing."
He turned to look at me, "You know I can't sing that. My voice is too low."
"Who said you were going to sing all of it?" I responded.
"Huh?" he asked quizzically, "You...can sing?"
"Surprise," I smiled, "Didn't Justin tell you?"
"Nope. Had no idea," he smiled, "Let's see if you're good as you say you are."
"I'd love to show you."
I started to play the first few chords of the song. Soon afterwards, Lance joined in on the piano. The people around us were curious to what we were playing. Usually its a bunch of guys in suits who would play, but this time we were playing. I took a deep breath and began to sing.
"Well it's not far down to paradise...At least it's not for me...And if the wind is right you can sail away...And find tranquillity...Oh the canvas can do miracles...Just you wait and see...Baby believe in me," I gently sang like JC would.
Lance joined in the second verse, "It's not far to Never-Never- Land...No reason to pretend...And if the wind is right you can find the joy...Of innocence again...Oh the canvas can do miracles...Just you wait and see...Baby believe me..."
We continued with our duet, "Sailing...Takes me away...To where I've always heard it could be...Just a dream and a wind to carry me...Soon I will be free..."
By now Lance and I made a pretty good combination. Many, many people were gathered around us. I could see people stopping and looking at us from the floors above. Everyone watched us in silence as Lance and I did our duet. There were a bunch of girls who recognized Lance and they were almost jumping up and down at the sight of him.
"Fantasy..." I continued, "It gets the best of me...When I'm sailing...All the world in a reverie...Every word is a symphony...Won't you believe me..."
Lance and I concluded our version of the song, "It's not far back to sanity...At least it's not for me...And if the wind is right you can sail away...And find serenity...The canvas can do miracles...Just you wait and see...Baby believe in me..."
He and I smiled at each other and we slowly ended the music. To my surprise, everyone in the mall started clapping and whistling in our direction. Lance was used to it because he was waving back with a big smile on his face. I on the other hand was blushing pretty hard and was trying to hide behind him.
I set the guitar back down on the stand and Lance and I tried to squeeze through the masses which had gathered around us. The people slowly dispersed and we were able to get to the exit. On our way, we were stopped by the store manager and complimented us on our exhibition. They were wondering if we would be able to do it again tomorrow. I declined the offer, but Lance said that he had to talk to management first before he could play again. The manager was confused, but said that they would be waiting if Lance ever decided to play again.
When we got outside, we headed back to Market Street. Lance got hungry again and we stopped at a hot dog cart that was at the corner. He bought a jumbo dog and a bottled water. I wasn't hungry so I didn't order anything. It was only 2:30 and there was a lot of time to kill. The sun was high overhead and the sea gulls flew in every which way you could possible think of.
"Wanna take a tour of the pier?" I asked him.
"I'd love to," he smiled.
I hailed a cab and we were off to Pier 39 where I was gonna kill him in air hockey.
Chris looked impatiently at his watch, "Justin, I thought that Mano was supposed to meet us here at 12."
"That's what I told him," Justin responded.
"It's almost 2:30," he sounded pissed, "Where the hell is he?"
"I don't know?" Justin meekly said.
"He wouldn't bail out on us," JC added, "We're his friends."
"Yeah...I guess," Chris admitted, "But where is he?"
Joey sat there in silence thinking of all the things we did together, "You know what," he finally spoke up.
Everyone hushed, "What Joey?" Chris asked.
"Well...maybe Mano did bail out," Joey slowly spoke.
"What!?! Where the hell did you get that idea," JC barked defensively.
"Before you get mad at me, hear me out," Joey put his hand on JC's shoulder and he calmed down.
"OK. What makes you say that?" Justin asked puzzled.
"He is our friend, right?" everyone nodded, "But we may not be his friends."
"That makes no sense," JC began to get defensive again.
"Look, a friend is someone who you could hang out with and not be bothered by what they think. A friend is supposed make us feel good about ourselves. You know...all for one and one for all," everyone agreed, but they still didn't get Joey's point.
"All we've been doing," Joey continued, "Is dumping all of our problems on Mano. In effect, we're using him to make ourselves feel good instead of having fun."
There was a silent pause to let what Joey said sink in. JC hung his head down in shame, "I knew I shouldn't have asked him to help out Lance..."
"No...It's my fault. I should have never brought it up," Justin tried to get the blame.
"No...It's all of our fault," Chris spoke, "None of us communicated with each other and none of us wanted to help Lance out."
Everyone sat quiet for a minute. "You think he ditched us?" Chris asked Joey.
"I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders, "I hope he didn't. He's a good guy and I don't want to lose him again."
"Well..." Justin spoke up, "Since Mano isn't here, we should go check up on Lance to see if he's feeling better."
"Yeah, that's a good idea," Chris agreed.
They quietly walked out of the room and headed for Lance's room. Justin knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He knocked again and still no answer. Justin decided to check to see if the door is unlocked as usual...and it was. He slowly turned the handle and cracked open the door. When he took a peek inside, he flung the door wide open.
"Oh my God," Justin gasped.
Everyone looked at the disarrayed room. They all rushed in all looked all around.
"Wha...what happened here?" JC asked worriedly.
Justin was looking at the unmade bed while JC was sifting through the clothes.
Joey found the opened bottles of alcohol and his eyes jumped out of their sockets, "This is not good..." he loudly spoke.
"What's not good..." Chris trailed off when he saw what Joey was holding, "Oh my God...You don't think...he couldn't..."
Justin and JC quickly dashed where Joey was.
"It's...it's not possible," Justin stuttered.
"We don't know for sure," Joey tried to calm everyone down, "Lance is not dumb enough to do this..."
"Then what the hell is that in your fucking hand?" Chris yelled.
"All I'm saying is that Lance could just be talking a walk like last time," Joey said softly.
"Pray to God that he is," JC said, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I didn't help him out more."
"You're not the only one," Chris commented.
Joey quickly put the bottle back down where he found it and all of them headed out the door. They closed the door and Justin put a "Do Not Disturb" sign to make sure that no one found about this. He also locked the door to prevent anyone from sneaking in. Once done, they quickly jumped in the available elevator and headed back down to the lobby.
"Here's the plan," JC started and everyone listened, "Justin and I will search this area of the city. You and Joey will go along the beach area to see if he's there."
"Good plan," Joey said, "You know that Lance likes to hang around the beach."
"Let's just hope that it's not too late," Chris said as he looked at the ground.
"We've got to believe that he's all right," Justin put his hand on Chris' shoulder and smiled. Chris smiled back.
When they reached the lobby, they bolted out of the elevator and each party hailed a cab. Justin and JC went roaming around the southern area while Joey and Chris searched the west. Everyone prayed and hoped that Lance is still around. They wouldn't know what to do without him.
"You ready for another round," as I puffed out to Lance.
"You're good," he smiled, "But in the end, I'm gonna win."
I popped in four more tokens in the table and Lance and I were off trying to slide the puck past each other's defenses. He and I were battling back and fourth. The game was tied and the last puck was on the table. I knocked it towards his side, he deflected it and I tried to block the incoming shot, but it was too late. My reflexes were too slow. The puck had passed my defenses and Lance won by a score of 9 to 8.
"Ha ha," Lance laughed, "I told you I'd win."
I smiled, "You win this time," I snickered, "You want to win a couple of toys."
"Hmmm," he thought for a minute, "I probably do need a few more beanie babies," I laughed and we headed for one of the crane machines.
There were a bunch of crane games there, but we looked for the ones that had beanie babies in them.
"Try this one," he said looking through the glass.
"Sure," I put in a couple of tokens and began to try my luck. I managed to have the crane grab the stuffed toy, but it slipped away.
"You're weak at this," Lance laughed as he playfully pushed me aside.
"Let's see if you can do any better?" I asked sarcastically.
To my surprise, the claw had a perfect grip on the beanie baby and it easily dropped into the bin, "You are good at this," I commented in amazement.
"These things are easy," he replied, "But I can never beat you in video games."
"You and I have different talents."
"Yeah...I guess we do," he spoke and we headed out of the arcades.
Lance put on his shades. "Let's go upstairs," I pulled Lance by the arm a little.
"What's up there?" he asked as he followed my lead.
"There's a cool store with tons of posters," I beamed at him.
"OK," he agreed.
We went to the little store and he was amazed at the collection. He was instantly drawn to the 'I Love Lucy' posters and took of his shades for a better look. "These are so cool," he exclaimed as he flipped each black and white print.
"Told you it's cool," I started to flip through the anime wall scrolls.
"I didn't know there were so many posters of 'I Love Lucy'."
"This is the only store that I can think of that has them."
"Really?"
"Yup," I said picking out the poster I was going to buy a few months ago, but put it back down instead.
We searched through the posters some more and since we didn't find anything worth buying right away, we left the store empty handed. The sun was blazing and for once the city was actually hot, though it was more like luke warm.
"Wanna go for some ice cream?" I asked.
"You bet," he replied.
"There's a Ben and Jerry's across the street. Or would you rather have some Baskin Robins?" I said as we reached the street.
"You sure know how to make a guy smile," he remarked.
"I try my best," I smiled back at him.
"Let's go to Ben and Jerry's. They have the best ice cream."
"Will do," both of us crossed the street and entered the store.
Lance got a single scoop rocky road in a waffle cone while I ordered the white chocolate macadamia also in a waffle cone.
"Do you always have to be different?" looking puzzled at my selection.
"It's not everyday I get to eat this stuff," I replied, "When I see something new, I like to try it out first."
"Never thought of it like that," Lance taking a bite of his cone.
We strolled along the pier commenting at the tourists and stopping once in a while to look at the water.
"You know what?" he asked as we neared the WaterFront restaurant.
"What?" I inquired.
"I'm surprised that no one has recognized me all day."
"This is a big city and everybody sees somebody, but they're not sure if it's who they think it is."
He laughed, "Good point," I laughed with him, "Hey Mano,"
"Yeah," I replied stopping to watch the water.
"Thanks..." he said softly.
"Thanks for what?" I asked looking at his light green eyes.
"Thanks for being there for me and thanks for understanding," his eyes began to well up with tears.
I leaned over and gave him a deep hug, "I'll always be there for you no matter what happens," I said and broke away, "Don't cry just yet. We still have a lot of the city to explore."
He smiled, "You're right..."
Chapter 14: Truth
Chris and Joey had reached the beach within a few minutes of their departure. They have been going up and down the coast tying to find him.
"Where could he be?" Joey asking very concerned.
"I don't know," Chris replied equally concerned, "He has to be around here somewhere."
"What makes you say that?" Joey asked while looking along the shoreline.
"I just have this feeling, ya know." Joey nodded and they continued their search.
Chris reached into his pocket and dialed Justin's cell, "Just, find Lance yet?"
"No," a static of Justin's voiced echoed, "Did you guys have any luck?"
"Nope, and right now...it might look grim..." Chris trailed off
"Don't say that!" Justin yelled, "Lance is OK, we just need to find him."
"We'll keep searching for him."
"OK...call if you have any leads."
"Will do," Chris hung up the phone.
"No luck yet," Joey commented.
"Nope," Chris was starting to cry a little, "I can't believe I just did nothing and I knew something's up."
Joey put his hand on Chris' shoulders, "It's not your fault. Lance didn't come to us for help when he knew we would help him."
"Yeah...I guess you're right...."
"What did Chris say?" JC asked as he and Justin continued to walk up and down the streets.
"They haven't found him yet," Justin replied, "Chris is taking this pretty hard."
"We all are..." JC said softly, "Chris doesn't want to lose anyone else after his father died."
"I know...I know. It's just that I've never heard him so down..."
"Me neither. Hopefully we will finally talk about everything once we find Lance."
"I hope so," Justin sighed a little.
"I have an idea."
"What is it?" Justin asked as both of them stopped walking.
"Let's split up. You go that way and I'll go this way," JC said pointing at the different directions.
"Good. We can cover more ground that way."
"Right. We can still call each other if there's any news or sightings."
"Good plan," Justin said as he started to walk in the other direction, "Good luck!"
"Good luck to you too!" JC yelled as he walked in the opposite direction.
JC walked down the busy streets looking for any signs of Lance. He would occasionally see someone with blonde spiky hair down the road, but when he got there, it wasn't him. Guilt, anguish, depression all of these things were running through his mind. His heart beating a million miles per hour frantically looking for his friend.
JC would look into every store to see if he would be there. Every time he entered the store full of hope, he would only exit it full of despair. He didn't understand why he was feeling the way he did. It's probably all of the good times that he had with Lance and the mis- adventures as well. Whatever it was, he wouldn't be the same without knowing that Lance is all right.
Lance and I was slowly walking through Buena Vista gardens admiring the scenery.
"Lance?" I asked
"Yeah."
"Are you going to tell the guys that you're gay?"
He looked down for a moment, "I don't know. I really want to..."
"But?"
"But they would reject and make me an....outcast," he replied so softly.
"I didn't do any of those things," I comforted him.
"True, but you're different. You're..." he stopped all of a sudden.
"I'm what," cocking an eyebrow.
"N..nothing, nevermind," Lance stuttered out.
"No...Tell me the truth," I was starting to get angry.
"You're...you're gay," he said very nervously.
I was in complete shock, "Is it that obvious?" I laughed a little.
"No...not really," he looked up at me and smiled, "I just figured it out only a few minutes ago."
"You are very perceptive. But this is between you and me."
Lance nodded, "OK. I won't tell anyone. But why won't you say anything to the guys?"
"Like you, I don't want to have my friendship change with them because I'm gay."
"I see."
"I'll tell them when I'm ready, but right now I just want to have fun," I smiled at him.
"Good plan," he snorted, "Maybe I should just have fun too."
"What?? Am I that dull?"
Lance laughed, "Sometimes you are," I playfully punched him in the arm, "Sometimes you're not," he laughed.
"Where do you want to go?" I asked.
"Can we just walk around some more?" he looked at me.
"Sure..." I smiled, "Ya know..." I smiled wider and he looked at me curiously, "You are really cute."
He blushed heavily, "Uhh..yeah..right," I laughed at him.
We strolled around the park a few times. I had the impression that he wanted to hold hands, but he knew the complications if anyone saw us like that. We even managed to take a tour of the Museum of Modern Art which was a cross the street from the place. Lance loved looking at the weird things there. He and I made faces at each other trying to imitate the works of art. We busted up laughing at the sight of each other.
After the museum, we just roamed around the city. Lance was amazed how empty it was on a Monday night.
"This is totally different," he commented.
"How so?" asking curiously.
"In New York or Las Vegas, everything blows up. It seems that nobody sleeps. Here...it's peaceful."
"It really is peaceful...just as long as you don't caught during rush hour," I joked and he laughed.
"Hey Lance," I stopped for a minute.
"Yeah...what's up?" he turned to look at me.
"I'm a little hungry, could you wait here while I get a quick snack."
"And leave me here all alone," he made a sad puppy face.
"Get real," I joked, "It'll be just a second. I waited for you when you got your hot dog."
"OK..OK, just kidding. I'll still be here."
"Good," I smiled, "I'll be right back.
I dashed into the store and browsed through the rows of cold sandwiches in the fridge. Lance was waiting outside just admiring the view. He looked at all of the buildings, with all the staggered lights that was all over the side of the building. 'How am I going to tell the guys,' he thought to himself, 'I'm so scared.'
"LANCE!," Lance heard and quickly whirled around. It was JC.
JC came running from up the street as fast as he could, "LANCE!" was the only thing that he was saying.
"JC?" he said with confusion.
When JC reached Lance, there were tears in his eyes. JC quickly wrapped his arms around him and sobbed heavily in Lance's shoulder.
"Th...thank G..God..I..I found you," saying in-between breaths.
Lance didn't know what to do. He slowly wrapped his arms around JC and slowly rubbed his back to calm him down.
"JC...Shhh...please calm down," Lance said as JC still cried uncontrollably.
"We...we thought you..you..." trailing off still buried in his shoulder.
"It's okay...I'm all right," Lance whispered in his ear, "Please calm down...you're making me cry."
JC calmed down a bit and slowly he eased up. He didn't want to break from the embrace, but he had to.
Lance put on hand on JC's shoulder, "Now, are you going to tell me what just happened here?" asking very concerned.
JC finally stopped crying, but still had tears in his cheeks, "You see...You've been acting weird for the past few weeks. Even though you hadn't let that effect your performance, we are all worried about you," Lance just looked at him with surprise, "Yeah...and when we went to your room to check up on you..."
"What!," Lance said in shock, "You went in my room!"
JC recoiled a bit, "Please....we were all worried and wanted to talk to you. Then Joey saw the bottles..." JC started to cry again.
Lance pulled him close and gave him a deep hug, "Don't you ever think such things..." Lance tried to comfort him, "I was just being stupid..." he said softly.
JC sniffled, "I wouldn't know what I would have done if you..." he hugged Lance even harder.
Lance didn't know how to take this. Was this a good sign or was it something else? "Don't worry...I'm not gonna leave just yet," he whispered in JC's ear.
JC's grief soon subsided and broke away from the embrace. Lance wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled at him. JC couldn't help, but smile back at him. They looked deep into each other's eyes for a minute, seeing the relief in both of them. I just purchased a tuna sandwich and stepped out. I saw Lance and JC looking at each other.
"Hi JC," I said.
He quickly looked in my direction, stepped back away from me and looked at the ground. I was confused as well as Lance.
"Was it something I said?" I slowly asked.
JC didn't respond, but just looked at the ground. Lance looked at JC, then me. I shrugged my shoulders when he looked at me telling him that I had no clue to what's going on.
Feeling very uncomfortable, "It's getting late....I should go back home now," I slowly turned away.
"No," Lance grabbing my arm, "You and JC will settle this," he coldly looked at me and JC. "If not here, then at the hotel," he commanded.
I jumped back a little. I never knew that he could be so serious. I guess, this was his professional side coming out. I nodded and JC reluctantly agreed. Lance was in-between JC and me. We walked slowly and silently back to the hotel. Lance phoned Justin as well as Chris to go back to the hotel for a meeting. Lance sounded so different on the phone. He knew something's up and needed everyone to clear their conscious.
It was pretty late at night by the time we reached the hotel. The sun had long past set and the sky was jet black. The only things you could see in the sky was little pin-points of light which were quietly twinkling overhead. The streets were empty and the stop lights were flashing red. Scraps of newspapers tumbled on the once busy streets. It felt like a showdown in one of those old Western cowboy movies.
We silently entered the lobby and headed for the elevator. The only person in the lobby area was the receptionist and she was busy on the phone. The elevator chimed and the doors opened. The three of us quickly stepped in and headed for the second floor. A short, but awkward trip. Nothing felt right anymore. Lance's behavior, JC's behavior, everything was screwed up. If only I hadn't met them maybe my life wouldn't be so messed up right now.
The elevator chimed once again and opened. Just as quickly we entered, we quickly exited. Lance lead the way to Justin's room. He knocked a couple of times on the door and it flew opened.
"Lance!" Chris yelled. He was about to hug him until he saw me and JC. Chris stopped in mid hug as if there was a force field that just came between him and Lance.
Lance quickly entered the room followed by JC and then me. I looked at Justin and Joey. They had the same expression on their faces just like JC's. 'Why me?' I thought to myself. Lance grabbed a chair and sat down. I did the same thing sitting next to Lance. While JC sat on the bed next to Justin and Chris was next to Joey on the floor.
Lance looked at everyone for a minute, noticing their sullen faces, "I know that I've been acting stupid lately..."
"I want to..." JC started to speak as well.
"As I was saying," giving JC the evil eye, "I have been acting really stupid as of late. I should have talked to you guys about it, but I don't know I didn't. After talking to Mano for a while, I realized that I just needed to say it at the right time," he spoke perfectly and enunciated every word.
"Right now," Lance spoke up again, "I apologize to everyone here for not trusting you in the first place. I know that we are family and I pray to God that we still are..." he trailed off and looked on the floor.
Chris stood up, walked up to Lance and gave him a hug, "Of course you still are," giving him a noogie.
"Watch the hair," Lance joked and I laughed.
"Just don't do that again," Chris smiled at him.
"All of us were sick to death that you disappeared like you did...after find the bottles and all..." Joey said softly.
Lance got up and gave him a hug, "I'm so sorry for putting you through that much trouble. I didn't mean to."
"We know you didn't," Justin continued, "As long as we know that you're all right...nothing matters."
Lance smiled at him, "OK JC..." Lance got up and sat back on the chair, "What is it between you and Mano?" he got straight to the point.
Everyone looked at JC and then looked at me. They hung their heads down.
"Wha...what did I do?" I said very nervously.
Lance put his hand on my shoulder, "I don't know, but I know that you didn't do anything," he said defending me.
There was silence, "Mano?" Justin spoke up.
"Yeah," I replied hesitantly.
"Will you forgive us?" he said meekly.
I looked at Justin, then at Lance, then back at Justin, "I...I don't understand. You guys didn't do anything to me...unless it was behind my back or something."
"No Mano," Lance interrupted, "The guys would never do anything behind your back. They're too honorable for that kind of thing."
"So why do I need to forgive you?" I asked Justin.
"Because..." Justin started to choke up.
"Because we were dumping our problems on you..." Joey finished the sentence very softly.
I was in total shock and so was Lance, "Huh?" was the only thing I could muster out.
"During this whole thing..." JC looked up at me, "We all relied so much on you that we didn't think how you would feel."
"None of us wanted to face Lance cause we were all scared. So we thought that you could do that for us," Chris continued still looking on the ground.
Lance was in total shock right now. I could see his face getting red from anger.
"You guys love him, don't you?" I blurted out.
Everyone looked up and nodded, "You couldn't talk to Lance because you were afraid that he might even become more distant from you guys." I looked at Lance and saw that his face was returning back to its normal shade.
"We..we don't understand," JC spoke up.
"You were so scared for Lance that if you tried to help him, he might leave the group or something like that," I replied looking at JC.
"Really?" Lance asked them, "Is that why you didn't try to talk to me? You know that I would never leave you guys."
"Well..." JC looking down, "We were afraid...."
Lance quickly got up and gave each and everyone a deep hug. "I'm so sorry. I should have paid more attention to what you guy have been doing. I'm soooo sorry."
"Don't worry about it Scoop," Joey smiled, "Everything's the way it's supposed to be."
I yawned a little bit, "You guys...it's getting real late and I need to get home."
"Not so fast," Justin quickly interrupted, "You still hadn't forgiven us yet."
"What is there to forgive?" I replied.
The guys looked at me quizzically.
"Don't you know already? I would have done anything for you guys. I don't care if you're rich or famous, I'll still do it. As long as I know that you guys would do the same for me...it doesn't matter."
Chris leaped up and gave me a hug, "That's why we love you so much."
The everyone was laughing at the sight.
"OK OK," I laughed out, "You can get off me...you're heavy."
Chris got off and helped me up.
"Before you leave," JC spoke up, "You were going to ask us something. What was it?"
"Can you guys wait till tomorrow?" I sleepily replied.
"Yeah...I guess," Justin said, "I'll have the limo pull around and give you a ride back."
"You don't have to."
"Yes I do," replying sternly, "You are dead tired from all of this and I don't want you to go off by yourself."
I smiled at him, "Yes daddy," everyone laughed and he blushed.
"I'll take you downstairs," Joey said while getting up.
"Thanks...I might need help getting in the limo if I fall asleep," yawning a little at him, "I'll meet you guys here at noon. This time I'll be in JC's room. At least his won't be mixed up?"
"What are you talking about?" Lance asked.
"I was supposed to be in Justin's room today, but looks like you got your keys mixed up."
"I see," Lance looking at me, "Good thing it was," smiling. I smiled back.
"Shall we go?" Joey opened the door for me.
"OK OK. I know when I'm not wanted," I laughed out the door.
"Ah shaddap," JC said as he threw a pillow at me.
I laughed as Joey and I exited the room.
We walked toward the elevator, "You're not mad at us?" Joey said meekly.
"Didn't I already establish that?" looking at him, "Of course I'm not mad at you."
"Just wanted to make sure," smiling back at me, "What were you gonna ask us?"
I just smiled, "I'll tell you tomorrow."
The elevator opened. Joey, out of nowhere, grabbed me by my waist and lifted me up.
"Hey quit!" I laughed.
"Not until you tell me what you were gonna say," he carried me into the elevator.
"Tomorrow...I'm really tired."
"I won't let go until you tell me," Joey said smiling.
"Then I guess you have to hold me for a while."
Joey had his arms around my waist the whole time we were in the elevator. I kept telling him that this was a bad idea, but he refused to let go. He placed his head on my shoulders and just gently blew across my ear. I knew that he was trying to make me talk, but I wouldn't budge. I was getting sleepy and Joey was heavy. I started to give way from his weight. Obviously Joey noticed and lifted his head off my shoulder. He used his arms to support me.
The elevator chimed and the doors opened on cue once again. I was so tired that I couldn't lead Joey out. He held me tighter and slowly lead the way. The receptionist stopped talking on the phone for a bit and looked at us oddly. She could tell that I was falling asleep, but still couldn't help looking at us.
The limo was patiently waiting for us along the curb. Joey released his hold and opened the door for me. I slid in first and then Joey. I told the driver where to go and off we went. Joey sat next to me and we chatted a bit. We were talking about how my day was with Lance and his hectic day looking for him. My eyelids were so heavy that I fell asleep in the limo.
I leaned over and used Joey's arm as a pillow. He looked at me for a second and wrapped his arm around me. While I was sleeping, I instinctively started to snuggle into Joey. He was a little surprised. He didn't know what to do. A few minutes passed and he calmed down a bit.
'He looks so peaceful,' Joey thought, 'To think that he had us worried to death and all he was doing was helping out Lance.'
He started to brush my cheek ever so softly with his other hand. I stirred a bit and resumed my light snoring.
'I wish I could hold him forever,' he sighed, 'But I know that would never happen. But at least I could be with him alone...for a while anyway.'
The car sped along the freeway and within 15 minutes, it had reached it's destination. The limo pulled next to my house. Joey shook me a little to wake me up and I complied, sleepily. He opened the door and helped me out. My arm was around his waist and his on mine while we climbed the steps. I fumbled around for the keys, but couldn't manage to put it in the lock. Joey took my hand and guided the key into the hole. I unlocked the door and turned the knob. I opened the door and stepped in. Turning around, I looked into Joey's eyes.
"Good night," I softly said.
"Good night Mano," he softly replied, "Love ya."
"Love you too," I sleepily said, "I'll see you tomorrow."
I closed the door and managed to flop onto my bed. I was so tired that I was knocked out like a light bulb. Joey sighed and headed back to the limo. The limo drove back to the hotel as quickly as it drove to my house. The ride wasn't the same. He knew that, but didn't know why.
He finally reached the hotel and went back to his room. As he passed by the guys' room, he could hear JC and Chris snore. He giggled a little bit and entered his room. Joey changed clothes and crept into bed. All he thought about was this hectic and traumatic day. He was relieved that they found Lance was more relieved that I wasn't mad at them. He fell asleep thinking what I was going to ask them.
I woke up rather abruptly to the sound of my alarm clock. I knocked it off the table and looked at it from the floor. I jumped out of bed throwing the covers all around.
"Holy shit!" I yelled, "I'm late for school!"
I quickly dressed and got all of my school things. Before I left, I phoned up the hotel and told the receptionist that I wouldn't stop by until 3 in the afternoon. I didn't have any time to eat breakfast. I ran all the way from the house to the school. I was breathing pretty hard when I reached the door to my first class. I collected myself a bit and walked in. Everyone looked at me funny because I had never been late before. It was either I showed up or didn't. That didn't bother me and I continued to take my seat and went about my usual thing.
Classes were uneventful and lunch came by as usual.
"Where were you yesterday," Christina asked.
"Huh? Why do you ask?" I replied to her.
"It's not like you to just miss a day for no reason," she stated as a matter of factly.
"Why would you care?"
"Don't know...there's been rumors going on around here," eyeing me.
"Oh? Didn't know I was that popular to talk about?" I replied sarcastically.
Leah butted in, "Rumor has it, you were hanging around with Lance yesterday."
I jumped a little, "And what if I was?"
"My God!" she yelled, "Where are they? Can I meet them? Oh my God!"
"Calm down," shaking my head, "I said IF I was hanging around them."
She looked at me as if she was just dumped, "You mean you DIDN'T hang out with him."
"Nope."
"You are such a liar," she said and I looked at her, "There were so many people who saw you with Lance."
I smiled, "That was a guy I met a while back. So what if he had blonde hair."
Her jaw dropped, "You mean...you mean, that wasn't Lance."
"No," I sternly looked at her, "And if it was, I wouldn't tell anyone anything."
I was so pissed that everyone in school was watching me. They were gonna use me to hook up with the guys. What a joke. I left the room and I decided to sit on the stairs to finish my lunch. Arc came by and started to chat with me.
"Hi Mano," Arc said as he sat on the stairs next to me.
"Hey Arc," I continued to munch on my sandwich.
"What was that all about?" knowing what had just happened.
"I don't know," shrugging my shoulders, "The minute they found out that I was hanging with Lance, they all got in my face and wanted to meet them. I am not the middle man."
"Yeah," he agreed with me, "It looks like they all wanted to be your friends the minute they found out about your connections."
I laughed a little, "I could have sworn I was a nobody, but now I'm just a tool."
"No your not," he smiled at me, "You're not a nobody, you're my friend," I smiled at his comment.
"Let's get to class before we're late," I suggested.
"Sure, we only got a couple minutes left," he stood up as well as I did.
We went to class and did our usual thing. It was pretty boring, but I knew that I would have fun later this afternoon as well as tomorrow night. I've got something special in store for the senior class. They're gonna get a bang out of this. After school I asked Arc if he wanted to come with me to visit the guys. He turned me down because he is working tonight. The only thing he wanted was an autograph for his little brother. His little bro liked them so much that he wants to be just like them. I laughed and told Arc that Justin's little brother, Johnathan, would be his perfect friend.
I said good-bye to him and we soon parted. I went home first and then changed clothes to go meet up with the guys. I had to make sure that no one was following me and that I was supposed to be extra careful where I went. I don't want another scene happen like the one in class. I quickly went into the most crowded section of the train and mingled with the other passengers.
It was really stuffy and noisy. I got off the exit and proceeded to go in the opposite direction of the hotel. I knew that someone was following me and I had to just pretend that I was going to a store to buy something. I deliberately jumped from store to store until I reached the hotel. I hung around the ballroom and waited a couple of minutes. I quickly went to the lobby to see who was following me.
"Leah! Christina!," I yelled at them.
They looked at me in shock, "Mano! What a surprise!"
"Cut the crap!" I angrily looked at them, "You've been following me the whole time, haven't you?"
They looked at me trying to make up a story, "We were just looking around the place to see if it looked OK."
"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes back, "You just wanted to see where N Sync was staying."
"That too," Christina jumped in.
"Too bad. They're not in the city today."
"They're not?" they replied in unison.
"They're doing a benefit in Oakland right now," I said crossing my arms, "They won't be back until later tonight."
"OK," Leah sighed, "Then what are YOU doing here?"
"Since I AM in charge of the prom TOMORROW, I need to set up everything by tonight," I exaggerated, "And besides...I have to pick up my suit."
"You..." Christina looking at me funny, "Wear a suit?"
"What's wrong with that?" getting defensive.
"Nothing...it's just that I can't imagine you wearing one. That's all," shrugging her shoulders.
"I guess...If you excuse me, I have to talk to the chef to get everything ready," I turned around and headed for the kitchen area.
I could hear them whisper behind me. I had a pretty good idea what they were talking about, but I continued on my way. Soon enough, the snoopers reluctantly left the hotel empty-handed. I was relieved that they were gone. That was some crazy shit I had to pull off. Just hope that I never have to do that again.
I went around the back and used the service elevator instead. I couldn't risk letting Leah or Christina see me or else there would be massive consequences. I quickly went up the elevator and headed towards JC's room. I knock a couple of times and then the door opened. JC was standing there with a huge smile on his face.
"Sorry I got here so late," I apologized.
"No need to apologize," JC opened the door and let me in, "We got your message when you didn't show up this morning. The receptionist relayed your message."
I looked around and the guys were all here. They were playing cards while waiting for me, "Hi guys," I waved.
"Hey Mano," Justin said as he folded the cards.
Chris and Joey gave me a nod while Lance turned towards me with a smile.
"I was supposed to be here way earlier, but I had to shake off a couple of people."
"Huh? Shake off?" Chris asked.
"Yeah seems like people from my school has spotted you guys," I sat down on the bed.
"Uh oh," Joey joked.
"Don't worry. I told them that you guys were at a benefit and won't be back will way later."
"You know, you really got to stop doing that," Chris said bluntly.
"Do what?"
"Protecting us like that."
"But you're in the hotel to relax not to be mobbed," I justified my actions.
"We don't mind that," Chris was being stubborn, "Just as long as its not 3 o'clock in the morning."
I glanced at the bed sheets, "Well I guess...sorry...I'll try not to do that next time."
Out of nowhere, Justin grabbed me from behind and gave me a hug, "Don't be," he said smiling at me from the side, "That's why we love you so much."
I was blushing pretty hard and the guys were just cracking up like crazy, "Awww shaddap," I kidded.
"OK OK," Lance started, "What's the big thing that you were gonna ask us?"
I sat up and Justin broke away from his hold, "Well..umm...I know that you're busy and all and I can completely understand if you decline..."
"Get to the point," Chris impatiently said.
"Right...You know that the prom will be tomorrow night, right?" everyone nodded.
"And you want us to perform the prom theme..." JC said as he looked at me.
I nodded, "Will you?"
"Hmmm," Joey put his hand under his chin, "Group meeting!"
Everyone got up and went to the table where they were playing cards. They huddled together and whispered quite loudly. Even though they were loud, I couldn't understand what they were saying. Justin or Joey would pop their heads to look or stare blankly at me. Finally the whispers stopped and they sat back down. This time they had expressionless faces on. Oh, well...it was worth a try.
"We discussed the proposal and..." JC slowly said, "Lance will give you the answer."
I looked over to Lance, "As you know we are under contract and it would be very difficult for us to play outside of the schedule..."
"I understand," I interrupted looking down.
"I said difficult, not impossible," I snapped up.
"Of course we'll perform," Chris said with a wide grin.
"You guys are the greatest."
"Group hug," Joey suggested.
They all piled up over me and we gave each other a big hug.
"Any plans for the day?" JC asked.
"Let's see," I starting thinking of my agenda, "First I have to pick up my suit from Macy's. Then I have to get a the supplies to construct the scenery. Oh...since you guys are playing, I have to make special arrangements."
"Hahaha," Lance bellowed, "You sound just like one of our managers."
"I guess..." shrugging my shoulders.
"Since we're all playing tonight, I guess we better buy some new clothes," Justin beamed.
"Is that all you can think about," Joey asked.
"What?"
"Shopping," everyone laughed.
"You like to go shopping with me," Justin laughed back.
"True, true. And besides, I need to get some new shirts while I'm here," Joey smiled.
"Then it's settled," I said standing up.
"What?" JC looked at me confused.
"You guys are coming with me to pick up the tux. That way you can go shopping at the same time," I smiled at him.
"You read my mind," Lance commented.
I looked at him shocked, "But you just went shopping!"
"Didn't you know?" Chris commented, "Lance is addicted to the mall," we all laughed.
"Not as much as Justin," Lance laughed back.
"OK OK, enough wasting time and lets hit the mall," I said.
Everyone stood up and Joey opened the door like last time. The guys filed out of the room one by one. We were jabbering the whole way to the elevator. It felt like the good old times, even though I hadn't really known them for that long. Inside was packed. All of us squished into the tiny elevator and rode down to the lobby. Chris kept making jokes about how small the elevator was and I would nudge him in the ribs to quit. Of course he wouldn't and just kept on joking around.
When the elevator chimed to the lobby, we all flopped out laughing. The whole time we were in lobby, we were acting all goofy and stuff. The people there looked at us unusually, but none of us cared. We exited the hotel and marched our way to Union Square.
"Hey Lance," he turned towards me, "What if the managers want another performance?"
"What performance?" Justin asked me.
"Oh....Mano and I put on a little show yesterday at Macy's," Lance looking at me evilly.
"Mano can sing?" Joey exaggerated.
"No I can't," I replied, "I couldn't hit a note."
"Yeah right," Lance rolled his eyes back, "He could replace you JC."
"Is that so?" JC giving me his wicked smile, "We'll see about that."
"Any-ways," I said, "What are you guys gonna buy at the mall?"
"Don't know," Chris replied, "But I do need a new pair of sunglasses."
"Like the half a dozen ones you have isn't enough," Justin remarked.
"Ha ha," Chris replied sarcastically, "You've got just as many as I do."
"He's got you there," JC backed him up.
"JC," Justin wined.
"Enough bickering you boys," sounding parental, "We'll all go the mall and each of you pick out one thing to buy."
"Yes daddy," JC giving me a hug and everyone was laughing.
Lance looked at me for a second. I looked back at him and I knew what he was thinking. Justin quickly glanced at us and knew something's up. He didn't want to ruin the atmosphere and just continued with our lively conversation.
When we got to the mall, everyone went in their separate directions. Joey went to the sports section while Chris and Justin headed to the eyewears. I went to the place where my suit was being made and JC and Lance followed me.
"You guys don't have to come with me ya know," saying to JC and Lance, "You can go browse around a bit while I get things squared away."
"Nah, I've got nothing to buy anyway," JC smiled at me, "And besides, I like to hang around you."
"Oh...OK," not really understanding what JC was implying.
Lance gave JC a quizzical look while I talked to the tailor.
Once I got my suit I talked to Lance, "Anything you want to buy?"
He snapped out of thought, "Nah..I already got everything I wanted from yesterday. Thanks though."
"How about you, JC?" I turned to face him.
"Don't feel like it either. Can we just wander around?"
"Sure...no problem," I could feel something going on here.
The three of us wandered around the mall for a while. Lance and JC had the occasional fan go up to them and do autographs and such. I didn't try to hide them this time because I promised Chris I wouldn't. So I reluctantly watched them. The more I watched, the more I understood about them. It brought a smile on my face just watching the fans look so happy.
After a grueling walk around the mall checking out anything and everything, we met up with the rest of the guys. I just had to laugh at all the baggage they were carrying. It looked like they bought out the entire store. This time around I joked with Chris about his spending habits. He didn't mind and joked right back.
During the exhausting day of shopping, the sun streaked across the sky and it was now time to go back to reality. Everyone was having such a good time, that they didn't want to end the day yet. I told them that I had to be by the hotel the whole day to get things right. They understood and we were on our way.
Justin had so many bags, I was amazed how he managed to walk around without tripping over them. I offered to help him carry the stuff and he agreed. The guy must have really bought out the store because I had trouble holding on to them. I was probably weaker than him and that's why I couldn't handle the bags. It was a short trip and we talked while we went down the street.
Pedestrians gave us a few double takes to make sure that they weren't seeing things. I was actually enjoying the reaction on other people's faces. Lucky for me I didn't look like that cause it looked so goofy. We reached the hotel and went to the second floor. Everyone went into their rooms and said their good nights. I walked with JC to his room.
"I had a wonderful time today," JC said softly.
"I did too," I smiled at him.
"It'll be different when we leave on Saturday," he looked up at me.
"Why's that?"
"Cause you're not going to be around."
"Awww, that's sweet," I smiled at him, "You know that you could always visit me anytime you like."
"Yeah I know, but...." I cut him off.
"Tomorrow night, I have something to show you and hopefully you will approve."
"What is it?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow," I smiled evilly.
"You know I hate it when you do that."
"I know that," I turned around and started to head to the elevator, "Good night."
"Good night, Mano," he said, "I love you..." he whispered under his breath.
JC watched me as I turned the corner. He unlocked his door and slowly entered the dark room. He closed it behind him and sighed. He leaned back against the door, 'Do I really?' he thought. He stood there for a moment and crawled into bed.
I had a huge smile on my face the whole time I was going home. The prom is less than 24 hours away and I have N Sync playing. Everyone at school will get a kick out of this. I've always wanted to have a blowout and this was it. As for a date...never had the time to go look for one. Actually, I never asked nor asked anyone to go with me. What a total wall-flower I am.
Night came and went. That was good. Hyper, pumped, excited all of those things were coursing through my veins. Just the anticipation of the prom was better than the prom itself. I hurriedly put on my tux, grabbed my folders and stepped into the limo. The guys were gracious enough to let me borrow their limo for awhile. Since they weren't going anywhere, it was okay for me to use.
I had to arrive at the hotel about 6 hours early. I needed to get everything all set up. By the time I arrived, the decorating crew were all busy with the props. I was impressed at what they had come up with. There were convincing marble-looking columns strewn about and they even brought in a miniature fog machine. Loved that extra touch of heaven.
The tables were set. I specifically ordered a larger table than the rest. That would be where my classmates and the guys would sit. It was quite large, it could seat up to 14 people. Ulysses came by about a few hours later with a load full of flowers. I helped him with the floral arrangements and told him everything that was gonna happen. He didn't believe me at first, but started to get really excited. Though you could never tell if he was excited because he always kept a straight face unless he was telling a joke or something. The prom advisor came in about 1 hour before the official start.
"Hi Mr. Berg," I said to a tall man with a beard and a mustache.
"Hi Mano," he replied and smiled, "You've done a wonderful job here."
"Thanks, but is it possible to throw in a little extra?"
"Extra what?" he cocked an eyebrow, "What do you have in mind?"
I smiled widely, "Trust me...it's nothing bad."
"I don't know," thinking about it, "Will it fit the theme?"
"It is the theme."
He looked at me confused, "As long as it follows the standard guidelines....sure."
"Yes!" I exaggerated, "You won't regret it," I walked back to fix some more decorations.
"I better not!"
The prom hour came and people came through the doors. All the guys wore the standard black and white tuxes while the girls had various dresses on. Some of them ranged from Chinese dresses to the sparkling sequence. Slowly, but surely, the room filled up pretty quickly. The music was flowing, lights were blazing and the clouds rolled along the floor. It was a perfect setup. I was looking around to see if I could see the guys, but they were nowhere in sight.
"Hi Mano," Leah said.
"Hi Leah. What's up?"
"This is a great setup you've got going here," she commented looking around.
"Thanks, glad you liked it," I followed her to our extra-large table.
"How come we have a larger table than everyone else?" she asked as she sat down.
"I dunno," I shrugged, "I could have sworn that all the tables were supposed to be the same.
"I guess. Wanna dance?"
"Nah...Let's wait for the other guys to come first."
"Good idea."
We chatted a bit about the prom and stuff like that. We also talked about what we were going to do after graduating. Soon enough, Arc, Ulysses, Christina, Myra, and their dates came by. They quickly found me and Leah because the table was right next to the door.
"Gotta hand it to ya," Ulysses said, "This turned out better than I expected."
"You doubting me boy?" I joked and he laughed.
"I love the theme," Christina said.
"Thanks. Since you guys are here, lets eat and then dance."
"Yeah," Arc agreed.
The meals came and all of us dug in. Nothing really heavy because we wanted to dance the whole night away. The lights were dim and it was quite romantic. I listened to everyone's conversation and I just wished that JC was sitting right there next to me. Oh well...
It was already 10 and soon the ballots came for the traditional prom king and queen. A bunch of people were nominated and all of us cast our votes. I didn't even know any of the people on the ballot and just checked off anyone I felt like it. Soon enough the ballots were counted and it was time to announce the winners.
"If you guys excuse me," I told everyone at the table, "I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?" Christina asked.
"You'll see," I smiled.
I quickly made my way to the back room and grabbed a guitar that Ulysses had left. I hurriedly went to the stage and pulled out a stool to sit on. Mr. Berg announced the winners and everyone clapped and hollered. The traditional crown, sash and flowers were placed and things became a little interesting.
"OK...Things are going to be a little different tonight," he spoke and everyone started to whisper, "Our prom coordinator, Mano, has decided to give us a little treat."
The spotlight was on me and I was nervous as hell.
"Is he gonna sing the theme?" I heard from the side.
I started to strum the guitar to the theme song. A lot of whispers came around and a the couple slowly started to dance reluctantly. After a few chords or so...it began.
"Can this be true...tell me can this be real?" a voice echoed from the speakers. Even more whispers came about because they didn't know what was going on.
"How can I put into words what I feel...My life was complete..." Justin came out from behind and slowly walked towards me. There were gasps and whispers all over the place.
"I thought I was whole...Why do I feel like I'm losing control?" he stood next to me and put his hand on my shoulder as I continued to strum the guitar.
"I never thought that love could feel like this...And you changed my world with just one kiss..."
"How can it be that right here with me..." Chris joined in and stood next to Justin.
"There's an angel..." Justin resumed.
"It's a miracle..." JC walked out singing. He stood on the other side of me and put his hand on my shoulder. Everyone was applauding and joined in the dancing.
"Your love is like a river...Peaceful and deep...Your soul is like a secret...That I could never keep...When I look into your eyes...I know that it's true...God must have spent...A little more time...On You..." Joey and Lance made their appearances as well.
I was relieved that they showed. There was no need to fear, I trust them. As I slowly played the melody, I would glance at Justin and JC. They were smiling all throughout the song. I just had to smile back at them. Everyone in the ballroom were slow dancing to the song and it felt so romantic. Soon the song ended and everyone clapped loudly. The guys waved at them and I showed them to the table. Everyone there had their eyes bulging at the sight.
"You guys...are N SYNC," Leah gasped.
The guys laughed, "Yes we are," Justin smiled at her.
"So the rumors were true," Christina looked at me wide eyed.
"Surprise," I joked.
"That was a good one," Ulysses commented, "It went better than I expected."
"You have pretty high standards," I laughed and he smiled back.
The guys talked with my friends about the typical stuff like tours and what-not. A lot of people were passing by our table to get a quick look or something to that effect. I just couldn't help, but laugh. Lance looked at his watch and reminded the guys that they had to get up early. All of them got up and said their good-bye to everyone. I remembered the folder that I put away and I started up with JC.
"JC?" I asked.
"What's up?" he turned to talk to me.
"I have something here that you may want to look at," I said looking at the folder.
"OK, let's see."
"Before I do," I looked around the table, "Let's go to your room."
"Why's that?"
"I want your opinion first before anyone see's it."
"OK."
"I'll be back in an hour," I turned to the party.
"We'll still be here," Leah still dazed with the guys.
I followed the guys to the elevator and into the hallway. Everyone said their good nights to me as they entered their room. JC escorted me to his and I was inside sitting across from him by the table. I handed him the video concepts that I drew and he flipped through the sketches.
He opened the folder, "Wow...these sketches are really good. Why'd you want me to look at them first?"
"Well...I was hoping that you might be able to use these," I meekly said.
"Use them for what?" looking at me quizzically.
"These are concept drawings for some of songs on your album."
"Video designs? By the look of your work, I could try to convince some of the execs to look at them."
"You really mean it?" I said with surprise.
"I can't promise you anything, but I'll give it my best shot," he smiled reassuringly.
"That's all I could ever ask."
"More than likely the sketches for 'God Must Have Spent' and 'Drive Myself Crazy' would be the best bet. I just love them."
I blushed a little, "Thanks, I have more at home, but I wasn't sure if I should bring them all."
"Hey no problem, you know that we'll be around till Saturday."
"Yeah I know," I sighed
He put the sketches back into the folder and handed it back to me. Feeling the awkwardness, he looked curiously at me.
"Mano?"
"JC..." I was so nervous, "Before you say anything, I need to tell you something very important," he nodded his head. "The first time I met you, you asked if I believed in love at first sight. I lied. I didn't realize it then, but now I know what it means," I took a deep breath.
"I know that it's not gonna work. You have such a busy schedule and all and you can get whatever you want," I rambled on, "But I need to tell you this...JC...JC...I'm gay and I'm in love with you..." I finally said it to him.
There was a blank look on his face. A look of astonishment and confusion. I knew he wasn't interested and I knew it wouldn't work out between us. My heart sank beneath the snow. I looked at my watch.
"I've overstayed my welcome...I'd better go," I got up and headed for the door.
Half-way to the door, I felt his hand on my shoulder and I slowly turned around. I looked up at JC. His eyes were so soft, so gentle. There was love and kindness within the blue spheres. He slowly put his finger under my chin, closed his eyes and slowly leaned towards me.
When his lips contacted mine, I was in shock. Never would I have imagined that he felt the same way. I relaxed a little bit and started to close my eyes. The feeling of his soft, warm lips flowed throughout my body. The folder that I was holding slipped through my hands as the papers scattered on the floor. He soon parted and we both looked deep into each other.
"Will you dance with me?" he softly spoke.
I wrapped both my arms around his neck and laid my head on his chest. I could hear his heart racing just as fast as mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist and he softly hummed the theme into my ear. I swayed back and forth with him, listening to him hum ever so softly...