Nowhere But Up

By Wasputz

Published on Apr 20, 2008

Gay

Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here. If you don't like any of the following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language or underage wherever you are reading this.

This is pure one hundred percent fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Please do not copy without my consent.

I hope you enjoy!!!

Main characters: Jeff(author)-19, roommate Lance-18 Friend Bryan- 18

The next morning, Tuesday after Labor Day, it was uncomfortable waking up with Lance still in my bed pushing me against the wall. I just glanced at his blonde hair and now considered myself pretty lucky to have him in my life. I just figured I would start the year out slow and maybe if I was lucky, bounce around from guy to guy. The moment he entered the room, my heart skipped a beat and hoped for once in my life that maybe things were looking up.

I proudly wore one of the many shirts and pair of shorts he had brought me from his house. All the stuff didn't look like hand-me-downs that I was so accustomed to. We grabbed our backpacks to head to class.

"You look great, Jeff," Lance smiled and uttered the first words of the morning.

"Yeah, thanks to you," I said with pride.

We headed out the door and waited when we saw Bryan coming out of his room next door. He noticed as well and gave a backhanded compliment not wanting to sound too gay for a straight boy. We parted ways at my first class and I took a seat in my normal spot for the beginning of my Accounting class. Math and numbers interested me so the class held my attention fairly well for the long Tuesday-Thursday class. After that, it was all I could muster to sit in a large lecture hall and endure an Economics lecture. I did my best to stay focused and always counted the minutes until class was finally over.

Normally, I headed to grab something to eat as I did this day at the Student Hall. I was sitting alone when Samantha, the girl from the pool, spotted me and came to my table.

"Jeff, right?" she asked with a nice friendly smile.

"Yes Samantha," I replied to let her know I hadn't forgotten her name.

"I enjoyed seeing you at the pool the other day and was hoping we could get to know each other better," she said.

"I'm sorry. I just got caught up with things this weekend," I said.

"Okay, I understand. Do you have a girl back home or something?" she asked.

"No seriously I just got busy and went to a few parties with some buddies of mine. Samantha, if you want the truth, I'm broke as a joke all the time," I said.

"If I were you, I would get a job and maybe you could get a date sometime," she smartly said.

"I promise I'll call you and set something up," I said.

"Jeff, we can always just hang out somewhere. It doesn't have to be anything fancy," she said.

"How about this Thursday night we hang out at the rec center and goof off?" I said. "Samantha, I don't own a car."

"What are you some kind of loser? No guy today in Texas doesn't have a car," Samantha said rather rudely to me.

Now was my time to put her in her place, "I can't afford one just yet. I grew up in a foster home until I came here to college if you want the truth of the matter."

This totally changed the expression on her face and her body language, "Jeff, I'm sorry. I feel awful for nagging on you. I had no idea. You probably think I'm a total bitch now. How about the movie they are showing at the Alumni Hall on Thursday then?"

"Okay that would work for me. I didn't even think of that," I said but really didn't know about the movie. "Samantha, I just want to go as friends though."

"Of course Jeff, maybe later we can become more than friends," she smiled.

I finished up and said goodbye until Thursday night. There was no way I was admitting to her I was gay and maybe we could just go as friends. I hated to lay the guilt trip on her but she had it coming after smarting off to me. I strolled to the college post office just to check my mail. I had just a college magazine and a blank envelope addressed to me. I tucked them in my backpack and headed to the room.

Lance was not there yet so I threw my backpack down and scanned the magazine quickly. The blank envelope then fell on my bed. I figured it was just some junk mail where someone was trying to deceive me to open it. I opened it and found a handwritten letter from the head of the youth home. After reading the letter, I just stared at it.

Lance opened the door and came in. He threw his backpack on his desk. "What you reading there?"

"Here tell me what you think," I handed the letter to Lance to get his thoughts.

He scanned it and handed it back to me, "That's so awesome. You see you do have a mother and see wants to reconnect with you."

"The hell it is. Lance, she left me when I was eight for three days in a shit hole of a house. I was scared to death and didn't know what was going on. Dude, I don't care if she was dead or still serving well deserved time. Matter-of-fact, I wish she was and just forget she even gave birth to me. In my mind, I don't have a Mom just a woman who gave birth to me," I said while pent up anger pored out.

"Jeff, you definitely have some serious mental issues going here."

I just looked at him. "What the hell, dude?"

"Yeah, you need some help and get this shit out in the open before it eats you alive."

"No, I don't, Lance. You never even knew about this before I brought this up. If you can't tell, I am well adjusted to my life and how things have turned out so far. I just need to continue what I was doing and forget I ever received this letter."

"Jeff, if I was you, I would at least write her. Tell her you doing fine and that you don't wish to be contacted. She doesn't have your address evidentially since this man sent it to you."

"I might think about it," I said. "You want hear something funny now? I think I have a date with a girl Thursday night."

"I don't think its real funny," Lance said. "Let me guess you didn't have the balls to tell her you were gay."

"Hey guys, wassup?" Bryan asked while entering our room with his muscle shirt that showed his nice vein laden guns and his nice chest and athletic shorts to his knees. I knew what larked under those shorts and could imagine a strained jock holding his big cock and balls in place.

"Stud here has a date with a girl," Lance said to Bryan.

"I bet it's that Samantha chick from the pool," Bryan said.

"It is. I think it's funny but Lance doesn't find it very funny at all," I said.

"All he's doing is misleading this chick and doesn't have the balls to tell her that he's gay," Lance said.

"I told her we would just go as friends. Lance, I made her feel awful," I said and filled both of them in on what happened between Samantha and me earlier that day.

"Still Jeff, you have to be honest with people," Lance said.

"Maybe he'll find out he likes girls after all," Bryan said with a nudge to my shoulder. "Bro, you never know you might find pussy way more appealing than some guy's nasty asshole."

"I doubt I get that far with her, Bryan. We're just going to the movie here on campus since I don't have any money," I said. "Here Bryan read this and tell what you think. Lance read it and gave me his opinion. I wanna hear what you think."

Bryan read the letter without much expression and handed it back to me. "That's totally your call, Jeff. I don't really much about your situation other than just the little we have talked."

"Bryan, don't you think he should just send a polite letter? I told him just to state he was okay and then say he doesn't want anything else to do with her," Lance stated his case while casually lounging on his bed.

"That sounds reasonable to me," Bryan said. "I see Jeff's point too. She did just up and leave him."

"Guys, I appreciate your input. I seriously don't want her to find me and fuck up my world. She's already fucked it up enough as it," I said.

"Lance, Jeff may be right on that. I might feel the same way after 11 years in a foster home too," Bryan said. "Just do what you want. Hey, I did come by to see if ya'll want to head to the rec center and work out."

We agreed to head back to our favorite place, the rec center. Lance and I now openly dressed in front of Bryan without a second thought. Bryan looked at my magazine and didn't watch us. I didn't mind going and started to feel that if I kept this up, I might get in great shape like Lance and Bryan. It also gave me a chance to escape reality for a few minutes and feel somewhat equal in a small way without having to be reminded of my social status in life. I knew social status had nothing to do with body shape since the college afforded me a way to keep a fit body if I so desired.

When we returned, I got back on the laptop to play around more and check my email after figuring out how to log on. There wasn't any activity on MySpace or Facebook since I had yet to post a picture. Bryan helped me solve that with a few quick snaps with his camera including one shirtless to entice some guys in an innocent way. He loaded the pictures up and I got Lance to help me get them posted on the various web sites for fun and to see what all the rage was about behind these popular sites. After that, it was time to study some for college or else I would fall behind and never catch up like I did in one class last semester.

After closing our books for the night, it was playtime in bed for Lance and me. He just looked at me, "Do you think we're influencing Bryan much?"

"No, we don't really show much affection around him. He's secure enough in his sexuality to not be so easily swayed. I think he's adjusted to us and now thinks nothing of it, like it really should be," I commented.

"You're right Jeff. I hung out with a few straight guys in high school some but I was just wondering out loud," Lance said. "Just hand jobs tonight for me. I'm really ready to go to sleep."

"That can still be sexy as hell," I said and stuck my hands down his shorts. Matter of fact it was sexy and intense. We mostly petted each other and kissed while slowly undressing each other. I loved the feel of his soft smooth skin and deeply admired his fit body. Lance masterfully jerked me like no one had done while I tried to stroke his nice cut meat the best I could. It was still hot for both of us and a nice change. The end result was the same since we both shot a nice load onto each other's naked bodies. To be more comfortable, we slept in separate beds.

The next day, Wednesday, I dressed in another shirt and shorts that Lance had gotten me. It felt good to know that someone cared a little about me and made me feel good not staring and envying my fellow classmates because of their clothes. In high school, it never bothered me that I didn't have the latest styles but that changed when everyone in my dorm my first semester did. They either dressed very stylish or punkish, which still isn't cheap. Sure I received a check every month but it just was enough to cover the basics and the rest was saved for a car.

That afternoon and evening was rather uneventful for me. I still hadn't decided what to do about the inquiry from my mom. I was leaning towards a basic short response with the plea of no contact. She didn't deserve even that much for the pain I suffered but sometimes think I might have been better off since we were living in horrible conditions and even her car when I was about 5.

The next day after class, Bryan and I headed to work out while Lance attended another meeting of gay and lesbian students. He begged me to go but I wasn't in the mood at the time and really wanted to continue to work out.

Once at the rec room, Bryan and I worked up a good sweat after Bryan pushed me hard as ever in the weight room. I was no match for him in weight or reps but my determination was there. I just wanted to have lean muscle like Lance where Bryan was striving to bulk up more. By now each visit was more comfortable and the faces started being the same.

We showered in the locker room to keep the smell down in Bryan's car that was starting to build. Showering with other college guys was no big thing to me but I still had to make sure not to stare when two cute fit guys entered after a basketball game I gathered. One even made a comment towards Bryan about his big dick and how he must really hurt some girls with it.

Once in his car and holding my tongue, "Bryan, does it bother you to have other guys comment on your cock?"

"No Jeff, I've been in football locker rooms a lot. That was pretty tame," Bryan commented. "It would have been different if he would have said something like he wanted to suck it."

"Well Lance did."

"I know him but a total stranger is different. Jeff, I really need to get my ass laid."

"Bryan, you ever had a girl refuse to let you fuck her after she saw your dick?"

"Oh hell yeah. Last spring break, two buddies and I went to Padre to get wasted and fucked. The first girl I tried to get with absolutely refused to let me fuck her. I did find one that would take it and did she ever. She was this hot college bitch and boy did I ever fuck her. She was a total whore and even let my buddies fuck her too the last night we were there. I bet I ended up fucking her 10 times that week. She loved it so much I even went to her place one weekend this summer and fucked the hell out of her there."

"Wow she must really love big dicks."

"No she just loved dick," Bryan laughed.

After Bryan and I returned, I checked my pages and found a few had discovered me. I was flattered by one guy's explicit response on MySpace. I called Samantha to make sure everything was on go for the night. I dressed in a pair of AE jeans from Lance and a nice polo as well along with flip-flops. I combed my hair that best I could and knew it badly needed a good trim. I sprayed on some of Lance's cologne to smell great. I cursed loudly when I saw a zit on my forehead. I knew nothing was coming of this little encounter but she at least deserved to see me at my best.

I headed over to the Hall and spotted Samantha outside waiting on me.

"You look very nice, Jeff. I thought you said you came from a foster home but you're wearing AE," Samantha said.

"Thanks, my roommate and I are the same size. This is his old stuff," I said. "You look very nice too."

"Thanks," she said. "You must have a roommate with a big heart then."

We headed inside to watch the movie. The movie was a cheap date for me and all I could really afford. The movie was well attended for it was `Spiderman 3'. I hadn't seen the others and was a little lost at first.

We headed outside after the movie. "That was actually pretty good," I said.

"Yeah it was," Samantha said.

"I guess I better head back to the dorm and hit the books some," I said.

"Yeah me too. Jeff, I really enjoyed it tonight," she said. "I like you but I really don't think we should date."

Inside I was jumping for joy. "Why not?" I asked.

"We're just too different," she said.

"I think I know why. You're looking for a boyfriend that's not a social case like and has a little money to spoil you," I said.

Samantha dropped her head, "I just did this not to break your heart."

"That's fine. I'm gay anyway so it wasn't going to work," I said.

Her mouth dropped open and her face became tense with anger. "You're pretty sorry you know that leading me on like you were interested. Thanks for nothing!" She got up and started walking away.

I grabbed her arm, "Hold on a just a minute, Samantha. I think it was you who said we shouldn't date. Samantha, I said we could go as friends remember?"

She looked at me and started laughing then, "To think I came real close to telling you this was off. We're both pretty sorry for what we just did, aren't we."

"Can we be friends instead?"

She smiled, "Of course, I have gay friends. Do you have a boyfriend? If you don't I know this guy that would be perfect for you. Jeff, you are a very nice and rather cute guy."

"Thanks I appreciate that. I think I have someone," I said while we sat on a bench. Now that we were honest with each other, it really seemed to open things up. We talked for an hour on that bench and even went for ice cream at her treat.

I smiled and thanked Samantha for what turned out to be a great evening and maybe had made another friend along the way. I checked my cell and saw it was about 9. I walked over to my dorm and headed up the stairs. I saw the door was locked. I opened the door and saw it was rather dark and the television was on.

"Lance?" I asked and saw him naked on his bed rolled up in a ball. "What's wrong?"

TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments are always welcome if you want to. I do appreciate the kind words so far.

Next: Chapter 8


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