Now or Never by Robin Smithson
Disclaimer: If you are breaking any laws by reading this little story, please go somewhere else. I do not know `N Sync (more's the pity) or have any idea of their sexual preferences. This is a piece of fiction (i.e. it's not real).
I know I spit this chapter out really quick, but don't expect that often! As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure I will have regular access to a computer for a little while so the chapters certainly won't come this quick. Maybe once every week, we'll see.
Thank you once again to the people who have written me! I know for a fact that I wouldn't have continued the story if y'all hadn't emailed me. And of course thanks to everyone who gave me such good suggestions! :)
There are so many good stories out here on Nifty that I couldn't possibly name them all. Just go check them out!
Email me with your suggestions or comments! nsajscgirl@yahoo.com I love getting email! Please let me know what you think about this chapter! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Previously on Now or Never:
Justin sighed again and suddenly became aware of the fact that JC and Lance were staring at him. "What?" he asked defensively.
"I asked if you were ready, and you were off in la-la-land," JC explain. `What is his problem?' JC asked himself as he looked at Justin. "Are you okay, man?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, lets just play." Justin demanded. With a frown, JC complied and made the first shot. The clacking of pool balls bouncing around the table echoed throughout the room and somehow it made up for the lack of conversation. Eventually as the night and the game wore on, JC managed to bring his two friends out of their musings and they were back to the goofy characters that their fans had come to know and love.
And now Chapter 4 of Now or Never
Drip...drip...drip. Justin sighed and rolled over in the large bed Lance provided for his guests. The enormous digital numbers on the clock beside the bed read 4:15 am. The constant drip, drip of water from the bathroom sink was only one of the many things preventing Justin from sleeping. He sighed again as the numbers blinked, changing to read 4:16 am. He had given up on sleep around three-thirty. His brain wouldn't stop working. The events of the previous evening kept repeating themselves over and over again in his mind. So much had happened last night that Justin was having a hard time dealing with all of it. He lifted his arms, stretched his long frame and pushed the cotton sheet covering him to the bottom of the bed. Silently he swung his legs over the side of the bed and got to his feet. Just as silently he crossed the room and entered the hallway. Justin looked left and right, half expecting to see someone, Josh or Lance in the hallway, but it was empty and quiet except for the ticking of the clock that graced the corridor.
Lance's room was right across the hall and Justin had an overwhelming desire to talk to his friend. They needed to finish what they had started. Earlier, before the game of pool was even over, Lance had cried off, insisting that he was simply too tired to finish the game. Reluctantly and with no small amount of regret, Justin watched Lance walk out of the room causing JC to look at him curiously.
"Okay, what's the deal? Are you okay, man? What did you and Lance talk about before I got here? It must have been something real important. You two have been real quiet tonight," JC stated as he leaned over the table and lined up his stick to hit the white ball. There were still several balls left on the table, the game wasn't even half over before Lance decided to leave.
"It wasn't anything important," Justin replied, more than a little nervous. He had never been able to keep secrets from Josh, well.secrets that Josh asked him directly about anyway. "Like he said earlier, he just had some problems lately and we talked about them, that's all."
"Oh, really, what kind of problems? I don't really understand why you are being so secretive about this. If they were so unimportant, you'd tell me," JC said. Feelings of frustration were threatening to overwhelm him as he stared at his younger friend. They were suppose to be close, best friends, but both Justin and Lance were shutting him out. Justin averted his gazed to the floor as JC's penetrating gaze touched him.
"Look, Josh, if Lance wanted all of us to know what was going on in his life, he would have called a group meeting," Justin pointed out, hoping to draw JC's attention elsewhere. "I practically had to force him to tell me what little he did and I'm not going to jeopardize the trust he has in me by running my mouth." JC stared at Justin, a little shocked. Part of him wanted to shake Justin and make him confess everything, and the other half of him wanted to respect Justin's wishes and let everything alone. "Josh, as soon as Lance is ready, he will tell you. He is just struggling with some major issues that don't have anything to do with the group, it's just him. So let him deal with it, okay?" JC stared at his friend another moment before nodding mutely. He wasn't happy about this, but if that is what Justin wanted, that's what he would do.
Justin sighed internally; he was glad that JC had decided to let it rest. He didn't want to mention the fact that his and Lance's earlier conversation had held several life-changing revelations for him as well, that would just lead to more questions. Justin realized that it was his turn and he studied the table silently before choosing his shot. The game ended somewhere around two in the morning with JC the victor. It was obvious that Justin's mind wasn't really on the game, so JC was relieved when it finally ended.
"I'm just gonna crash on the couch, okay?" JC said as he exited the room and walked towards the living room.
"Okay," Justin called softly after JC's retreating form. That left the guestroom for him, right across the hallway from Lance, which was where Justin was headed at nearly four-thirty in the morning. The door was completely shut but Justin knew that it wasn't locked, just as he knew that Lance was still awake. Without knocking, he noiselessly opened the door to Lance's bedroom and stepped into the dark interior.
"Justin?" Lance's deep voice sounded throughout the room. Justin jumped slightly at the sound of Lance's voice even though he had been expecting it. He left the door cracked open and moved towards the bed.
"Yeah, it's me." A quiet click was the only warning given as Lance flipped on the light beside his bed, blinding Justin in the process. "Damn, man, could you turn off the light?" Justin asked as he shielded his eyes from the glaring light.
"Yeah, sorry," Lance replied quickly as he reached back over and clicked the light off. He was still lying down in the bed; he had simply leaned over to turn the light on and off. Justin made his way to the unoccupied side of Lance's bed. "What are you doing here, Justin?" Lance asked softly, he voice seeming to float through the dark air. Justin sighed and lowered himself to the bed, sliding in beside Lance without touching the older boy.
"I couldn't sleep.and I knew you were awake. I thought maybe we could talk some more," Justin said hesitantly as he rested his head on the soft pillow that adorned his side of the bed. He reached down and pulled the covers up to his chin, breathing deeply. Lance's smell, his cologne, surrounded Justin and he savored the smell. Next to him, Lance was breathing evenly and he turned his head slightly to take in Justin's outline. The moonlight provided a small amount of light throughout the room and Lance could make out Justin's facial features. There were worry lines on the younger boy's forehead and Lance ached inside, wanting to comfort his friend.
"You want to talk about earlier?" Lance asked, his body completely aware of his friend next to him. Justin nodded soundlessly and Lance sighed. "You know, I still can't believe I told you.about me being gay I mean. I didn't really tell you about the crush part, you figured that out for yourself. I held all of that within myself for six years and in one night, I tell you everything. I am still in shock," Lance stated honestly. Justin turned to look at his friend and offered a weak smile in sympathy and understanding.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. The absolute last thing I expected to happened tonight did," Justin said. "It's not a bad thing though. For some reason I feel good about it. The whole thing, your coming out, my coming out."
"So you are definitely gay?" Lance interrupted curiously. They hadn't finished this part of their conversation. Justin was silent for a moment before clarifying his statement.
"I.I think I'm bisexual. I have always been able to um.be with girls, but I find men attractive too. I've never been with a guy though," Justin admitted shyly. "It's come to the point though lately that I've been looking for something more. I want something real. Someone to love me and be with me for more than a few months, ya know?" Lance nodded in understanding as Justin continued, "I don't really care if it's with a guy or a girl as long as it is the right person."
"I've been looking for the right person for a long time, Justin," Lance said softly, leaning up on his elbow to stare down at Justin. Slowly, Justin raised himself up, took a deep breath and replied.
"I think I've found the right person, Lance," Justin said before slowly and ever so gently pressing his warm lips to Lance's. Lance knew it was coming and yet he wasn't completely prepared for it, a small gasp escaping his lips. `This is really happening," he said to himself before coming to his senses enough to return the sweet kiss. Justin held still as Lance's lips started to move tenderly over his. His senses where slowly coming to life as the kiss deepened. The smell of Lance's ever-present cologne filled his nostrils, as he became aware of the cool sheets touching what was exposed of his heated skin. Light stubble scrapped his palm when he laid his palm against Lance's cheek. Lance's lips left Justin's for a moment causing the younger boy to moan quietly in protest.
"Shhh." Lance hummed as he fulfilled Justin's desire by once again touching his lips to the younger boy's. Justin sighed as Lance continued the kiss. His hands felt the urge to roam so he traced the outline of Lance's jaw and continued downward to rub his thumb over Lance's Adam's apple. Justin smiled into the kiss as Lance growled low in his throat at having Justin stroke his throat. Justin pulled back and smiled, staring into Lance's eyes. Lance returned the stare, their faces only a couple of inches apart.
Justin couldn't remember anyone having eyes as beautiful as Lance's and his expression turned to one of wonder as he recognized the emotion filling Lance's eyes. Love, that's what it was. Unconditional love. Justin felt a flicker of fear as he realized the depth of Lance's love for him, but it was quickly squashed as he realized that it was what he had spent the last few years of his life looking for. He was ready for it, and he knew in his heart and his mind that he could return it wholeheartedly.
"I know you're probably not ready for this Justin, but I want us to be honest to each other from now on, no matter what," Lance said in preparation to tell Justin what was in his heart. Justin nodded and waited to hear Lance out. "I love you, Justin."
Justin simply smiled that blinding smile of his and replied softly, "I love you too, Lance." Lance stared at Justin in astonishment.
"Really?" he asked before he could stop himself. Justin was a little saddened that Lance didn't have enough confidence in himself to believe him, but he decided to make light of it and giggled.
"Really," was his reply. Lance grinned crookedly at Justin once he allowed himself to believe Justin's statement. His was overjoyed as Justin's smile and words brought happiness to his heart. Lance lowered himself back down to the bed and scooted closer to Justin. Justin went even farther and turned onto his side so that he faced Lance and draped his right arm across his lover's chest. He dropped his head into the crook of Lance's neck and shoulder and snuggled closely. They sighed at exactly the same time as an incredible feeling of peace stole over each of them. There was no talking as the couple lay in bed savoring the feeling of being close to someone. Eventually, their breathing evened out and they both drifted off to sleep each content to stay exactly where they were. However, neither of them spared a single thought to the other person that occupied the house.
JC Chasez stood at the doorway, watching his two friends silently. Justin's journey through the hallway had woken him up and he had been curious about his friend's nocturnal traveling. He had heard and seen it all through the crack in Lance's bedroom door. They looked incredibly peaceful in each other's arms and Lance had this stupid grin on his face. JC smiled as he noticed that grin. If there was one thing in the world that JC could wish for his band mates, it was this, that they would find someone to share their lives with. In some ways, it made it easier that they had found that person in each other; in other ways, it made it much more difficult. JC knew that the road ahead for his two best friends would be an incredibly rough one. He was willing to help in any way possible, but he was reluctant to let them know that. Evidently they hadn't trusted him enough to confide their secret in him and he wasn't going to force a confession from them. There had to be some way to get them to reveal their little secret to him. A simple plan was forming in his mind. He smiled to himself as he shut the door to Lance's bedroom all the way and returned to the living room to get some sleep.
A loud pounding at the front door awakened JC early the next morning. He moved suddenly to sit up, not remembering that he was sleeping on a small couch, and ended up tumbling to the floor. A loud thud marked his impact with the floor and he groaned loudly as the pounding continued.
"God dammit! I'll be there in a minute, Chris!" JC shouted. He had no doubt in his mind that it was Chris pounding on the door at.JC looked at the clock hanging on the wall in the living room.at six-thirty in the morning. Chris had always taken perverse pleasure in waking JC up from his slumber since he knew how much sleep meant to JC. He slowly raised himself to his knees and pushed himself onto his feet using the couch for leverage. JC reached around to rub his bottom as he walked slowly to the door. "What the hell are you doing Kirkpatrick?!" JC shouted as he opened the door to stare his older friend down. Instead of seeing a grinning Chris as he had expected, he saw a look of frantic worry covering Chris's face. "What."
"JC! Oh God! Are Justin and Lance here too!? I went to your place to find you and you weren't there. I remembered Justin saying he was going to stay with Lance so I came straight over here. You've got to come with me! We have to leave now.it's Joe," Chris explained frantically not giving JC a chance to answer his questions. JC started to ask Chris to explain what happened with Joe when Chris interrupted him again, "Come on, dammit! Get Lance and Justin! Let's go!" JC reached out and grabbed Chris by the shoulders, hoping to calm him down. He had never seen Chris this shaken up before.
"Calm down, Chris. What happened to Joey?" JC managed to ask as calmly as possible. Chris took in a huge gulp of air as JC's touch managed to calm him a little.
"He...we...oh, God!" Chris shouted in despair as he flung himself at the taller man. JC clutched Chris to him and started rubbing his back. Sobs were starting to wrack Chris's body as Josh held him close. "It's all my fault!" Chris wailed as he pulled back from JC. His eyes were wide in shock and tears were streaming down his face as he turned and walked into the living room, leaving JC standing in the foyer by himself, dumbfound. Chris paced in front of the couch where JC had spent a relatively comfortable night as he tried to get a hold of himself. With the back of his hand, he swiped at the tears that were leaving streaks down his face and sighed deeply.
JC stood at the entrance to the living room, watching his friend pull himself together. Worry was eating at the edges of his mind as he replayed Chris's confession in his mind. `What was all his fault?' JC thought to himself. He knew that he wouldn't get any answers out of Chris if he forced them so he compelled himself to wait until Chris was ready.
Lance had heard Chris's strained voice shouting throughout the house and it was what had undoubtedly woken him up. Slowly, he returned to the land of the living to find Justin curled up against his side, facing away from him. Lance smiled to himself with happiness. The shouting hadn't affected Justin, who still slept with the abandon of youth and Lance felt that it was best to let Justin sleep a little longer. Silently, he slipped out of his bed and turned to pull the covers up and over Justin. He made his was out of the room and walking into the living room just in time to see Chris stop pacing and look towards JC. Lance stood slightly behind JC to the right and Chris noticed him the minute he appeared.
"What's going on?" Lance asked softy as he took in Chris's tear-streaked face and JC's worried profile. JC acknowledge Lance's presence by turning slightly to his right and nodding. Lance returned the nod and continued to stare at Chris. "What happened Chris?" Lance asked, taking a step toward his friend, ready to administer comfort if Chris needed it. Chris's next words stopped Lance in his tracks.
"I...I think...I...I...k...killed Joe!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alrighty! There ya go! Chris and Joey had to show up sometime, didn't they? What happened to Chris and Joey during the night? I guess you'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out! :) Ha, Ha, Ha! Talk to y'all later! Email me at nsajscgirl@yahoo.com Robin :)