NOW OR NEVER by Robin Smithson
Disclaimer: If you are underage, please go somewhere else. If you are committing any crimes by reading this, please go somewhere else. This is a piece of fiction. It does not depict true life; therefore, I have no idea what floats `N Sync's boat, if y'all know what I mean. I plan on including sex in this story, but it will take a little while. But trust me, it will be worth the wait! Please email me at nsajscgirl@yahoo.com with your comments and suggestions. I really want to know what y'all thought about this chapter! Oh, yeah and I'm another female writer, but please don't hold that against me! ? Robin
Now or Never
Chapter 1
July, 2000 Orlando, Florida
A hot, balmy breeze blew over the group of five young men as they pushed through the revolving doors of Jive Record's Orlando offices and into the outside world. It was the middle of summer in Florida and the weather reflected that fact. The air was hot and muggy and the group was sweating the minute they stepped outside. The slight breeze only cooled them off momentarily before causing their shirts to stick to their bodies. For the most part, the group seemed in good spirits, walking quickly towards the parking lot that housed their various cars.
"Well, now that the torture session is over with, what do you guys want to do tonight?" Chris asked putting in a reference to the interview they had just been subjected to. Chris looked inquisitively at his friends, his small brown eyes filled with curiosity. Joey, grinning widely, turned his head to the right and glanced at his shorter friend.
"I've got one word for you guys!!! CLUBBIN'!" Joey shouted happily, doing a little dance on the way to the parking lot. Unanimously, the others groaned as they thought about going to yet another club.
"Joe, man! Can't you get through one night without clubbin'?" JC asked, running his thin elegant fingers through his dark hair and down across his face.
"Yes, I can! I did it once, remember?" Joey stated defensively, waving his hands in the air for effect. JC and Justin exchanged grins before Lance spoke up.
"Yeah, Joey, that was in 1997," he pointed out softly. Everyone started laughing, except Joey who was too busy trying to think of a quick comeback. "Anyway, I'm really tired guys. I don't know about y'all, but I really just want to go back home and chill out. I know I have to make a few phone calls for Free Lance, but after that I plan to do a little relaxing."
It was evident in Lance's face that he was nearing exhaustion, there were dark circles underneath his incredible green eyes, and the others weren't too far behind him. The boys from `N Sync had just finished the spring portion of their world tour to promote "No Strings Attached," their sophomore album. They had a short two week "vacation" before having to leave for a month long stint in Europe. After that, they were scheduled to return to the states to start their fall tour. It was almost surprising that one of them hadn't dropped from exhaustion before this point. The concert they had constructed for this year had been non-stop, fast- pasted and high-energy. It was something that their fans had come to take for granted, but it had quickly drained the group of their famous energy.
However, this little "vacation" wasn't really a vacation for the guys. They were scheduled for one radio and magazine interview after the other. Johnny Wright, their manager, had even pushed them into recording a couple of new songs that they might possibly place on their third album. Not that they minded the recording part; it meant that they were making music, but it was still time they could have been using to visit their families.
Once the guys reached the parking lot, JC called everyone to a halt, "Guys, for real though, are we gonna do something together tonight, or are we going our separate ways?"
"I am going clubbin'!" Joey said almost defiantly, which caused the guys to laugh again.
"What?!" he asked, staring his friends down.
"Nothin' Joe, nothing," Justin said to ease Joey's defensiveness. Justin smiled and shoved his hands into his pants pockets, deciding on what he wanted to do on this particular night. "I think I just want to chill tonight too, Lance. Would it be cool if I came over to your house, man? We could get a Pay-Per-View movie, or something?" He asked this of Lance almost hesitantly. Justin wasn't sure that Lance wanted the company, since he said he was tired, and he wasn't going to force it on his friend. Lance had been rooting through his pants pockets for the keys to his 4Runner and once he finally found them, he glanced up and smiled at his younger friend.
"Yeah, that's cool, Justin. Just don't be surprised if I fall asleep during the movie, okay?" Justin quickly nodded and flashed Lance his famous grin, showing his pearly whites. "Cool, man! Can we get Stigmata!? It's suppose to be this really cool demon, horror movie!" Justin asked quickly. Lance smiled and nodded, but Chris felt that he needed to make his presence known.
"Hey, Justin, you can't let little Lancie-poo watch a big, scary movie like that! He may pee his pants!" he said slyly in reference to an incident that happened nearly six years ago when they first got together.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP CHRIS! WOULD YOU JUST FUCKIN' LET THAT GO!!!!!!! THAT WAS A MILLION DAMN YEARS AGO!" Lance shouted, drawing surprised looks from his fellow bandmates. Lance had always been a quick and easy target for the guys, especially Chris. It was his laid attitude that allowed the other guys to tease him without the threat of retribution. He had always seemed to take the jabbing well, but it was evident that he had had enough.
"Jeez, sorry, man. I didn't think it was such a sore spot," Chris said apologetically after he got over his shock at being yelled at by Lance.
"Yeah, whatever," Lance said sarcastically before pulling his dark sunglasses out of his pocket and placing them over his large green eyes. "Are you coming, Justin?" he asked quickly before turning his back on the group and heading towards his SUV. The remaining guys looked at each other in shock before Chris sighed in frustration.
"I was just kidding with him," he said softly, watching Lance's retreating form.
"Hey, Lance! I'll follow behind you in my car, okay?" Justin shouted out at Lance who simply replied by waving his hand in the air as he unlocked his 4Runner. Justin then turned to look at the other guys, worry and concern warring for space on his angelic face. The rest of the guys were watching Lance with concerned looks on their face. "Well, I'm gonna go with him. I'll try and get him to talk to me, okay?" The guys nodded as one and Justin turned and sprinted off for his vehicle. Lance was already pulling out of the parking lot, leaving his best friends behind, emotionally as well as physically.
Lance's house, twenty minutes from Jive Records ?
Lance had arrived at his house nearly fifteen minutes before Justin. He simply unlocked the front door and walked into the front hallway, not bothering to turn on the lights. He knew where all the furniture was placed. Lance picked up the phone on his was to his office and placed the calls he needed to make for his company, Free Lance Entertainment. After completing his phone calls he made his way to the master bedroom to change into something more comfortable.
Once Justin made it to Lance's house, he noticed that all the lights were off so as soon as he entered the house, he called out for Lance. A muffled reply reached Justin's ears, telling him that Lance was in his bedroom. Flicking on lights in the hallway, he made his way into the dark living room. He quickly walked towards the large television set that graced the far wall of the room. This was a familiar room, he and the guys almost always came to Lance's house when they wanted to get together, but he still took a moment to take in his surroundings. Lance had always had good tastes when it came to decorating. The room was done in dark greens and most of the furniture was made of dark wood. A lamp stood to the left of the TV and Justin reached over to flick it on while he turned on the set. The lamp added a light glow to the room, making it warm and inviting. He backed away from the TV and plopped down onto the plush leather couch that took up half of the room. Justin searched for the remote by moving his hands over the furniture in his vicinity and was rewarded when his hand smacked into something small and solid. As soon as he ordered the movie he had suggested to Lance earlier, Lance entered the room carrying a water bottle and a cup filled with dark liquid. Justin didn't have to be psychic to know that the water was for him and the cup was filled with Dr. Pepper for Lance.
"Thanks, man!" Justin said appreciatively as Lance handed him the water bottle. Lance murmured a quick, "Your welcome," before plopping down next to Justin on the couch. He closed his eyes and let a sigh of relief escape his lips as his body relaxed and fitted itself to the folds of the plush couch. While Justin had ordered the movie, Lance had taken the opportunity to change into an old, worn T-shirt and pair of shorts. Justin found himself staring at one of his closest friends taking in all of his features. His short, blonde spikes were flattened, pressed against his head. Lance's pale skin seemed to glow against the darkness of the couch. The paleness of his skin just emphasized the dark bags underneath his closed eyes. Since Lance had his head leaned back against the couch, his Adam's Apple seemed huge, but it fascinated Justin. Lance's deep voice jerked Justin out of his perusal and he blushed slightly.
"I think you left some clothes over here last time you were here, if you want to change into something more comfortable," Lance said, his eyes still closed. Justin stared at Lance for another moment before jumping up from the couch and walking to the guestroom down the hall. He knew exactly where Lance kept the clothes he and the guys left by accident at his house, it happened all the time. While rooting through the clothes left behind he found his favorite pair of boxers and a UNC shirt which he quickly slipped on after undressing. He paused in front of a mirror before leaving the room. As he stared at his reflection he straightened a few of his curls and smiled at himself. Justin returned to the living room to find that movie was minutes away from starting, so he moved to the couch only to find his friend sprawled full out across the surface.
"Dang, Lance, do ya have to take up the whole friggin couch?" Justin asked, to which Lance grunted a reply. "Fine, I'm just gonna sit on you, how's that?" Without waiting for a reply, he sat down on Lance's butt, which proved to be a comfortable spot. (Who woulda' thought? :P) Lance groaned as he felt Justin's full weight on his bottom and moved to sit up again.
"Get off me, man!" Lance said, laughing as he struggled to displace Justin from the spot the younger man had decided on. They wrestled around for a moment before ending up in a position that neither one of them would have expected, flat on the floor. With a huge thud both men hit the ground hard, stunned into silence. Once they regained their senses, they began giggling at the absurdness of the situation. Here they were two nearly full-grown men, wrestling around in the living room of one of their houses. After suffering through the giggle fit, they fell silent, still entwined in each other's limbs, each too tired to make the necessary adjustments to disentangle themselves. Finally, Justin made the first move when his hand grew numb from its unusual position under Lance's back. He pulled himself away from his friend and moved to sit up, his back against the couch. Lance did the same and they sat side by side in silence as the movie started. The movie started out okay but quickly lost the two guys as it become more involved. Justin was the first to loose interest and he turned his eyes from the screen to his friend who seemed to be spacing out.
"Lance?" Justin asked hesitantly. The older boy snapped his neck around to face his friend as he was pulled out of never-never-land.
"Yeah?" he replied softly, his southern drawl very evident.
"Are you okay?" Justin asked quickly and started rambling as his saw Lance's expression darken considerably. "I.I mean you seem really stressed lately and that's totally unlike you. You're always so cool and calm. Laid back, ya' know? I'm just worried. The guys are worried too. I can't remember the last time you yelled at one of us like you did at Chris earlier." During Justin's speech, the expression on Lance's face changed from anger at having his friend questioning his behavior, to shame at remembering the fact that he had yelled at Chris.
"Um, yeah, I'm fine, Justin," Lance replied quietly, lying to one of his best friends in the process. "I've just had a lot of stuff on my mind lately." That last statement was entirely true, but Justin took it for what it was worth, an excuse.
"What kind of stuff, Lansten?" Justin asked, calling Lance by the affectionate nickname the group had given him. Justin wanted to help Lance through whatever was bothering him; he wanted to be there for him, to be his friend. "Come on, Lance. Maybe I can help," he said as he watched Lance start to reject his offer.
"I...um...it's nothing, really," Lance replied unconvincingly as he ran his blunt fingers through his short spikes.
"Yeah, whatever," Justin said almost angrily as he mirrored Lance's gesture, running his hand through his curls. He didn't understand why Lance wouldn't tell him what was wrong. As a group, they had made it an unwritten rule that if someone had a problem they could go to anyone of the other four and talk about it. For some reason Lance wouldn't talk, or maybe he couldn't, Justin didn't know which.
Lance watched with regret as Justin pulled himself up onto the couch. There was something that was pressing on his mind and he wished beyond belief that he could tell Justin, but he simply couldn't. He knew it would change their relationship forever if he were to tell Justin what was going on in his mind. Lance shifted his eyes to stare at the floor in front of him and a frown marred his handsome face as he thought about telling Justin his secret. The more he thought about it, the more he wished he could just tell him.
Justin looked at Lance, noticing the frown. He just wished that Lance would trust in him. Lance had always been there for him when he was facing a problem that the older guys couldn't help him with. Next to JC, he was the closest to Lance out of the whole group, certainly closer than he was to Chris or Joey. For some reason though, it seemed like Lance had decided to take on the role of the strong one. Keeping to himself, but allowing others to use him if they needed to. He had never thought about it before, but Lance never asked him for help; he had never asked any of the other guys for help either. Justin decided that that would end here and now.
"Lance, we aren't going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong!" Justin stated forcefully and Lance looked up at him in surprise. Justin simply stared back at him with concern filling his dark blue eyes. Lance was so tempted to unload his secret on his friend that he almost blurted it out in response to Justin's statement.
"I...I, Justin, I can't really talk about it right now, okay? Maybe later," Lance said hesitantly, unsure of what Justin's reaction would be. Justin sighed once more in frustration and leaned down to touch Lance's shoulder, gently. If Justin hadn't touched him, Lance would have been able to hold out. He would have been able to keep his secret locked up inside himself with the world non-the-wiser, but Justin's simple touch of concern was enough to undo Lance completely. Tears quickly filled his green eyes, making them an even darker shade of green. They looked like two emeralds shining out of Lance's pale face. Soon, they were falling down his cheeks unchecked. Justin looked on in alarm as Lance began sobbing on the floor in front of him. He quickly lowered himself to the floor and reached out to envelop Lance in a hug. As soon as Justin's arms encircled the older boy, he started bawling. Tears filled Justin's eyes as he listened to one of his best friends come undone. Lance's tears soaked his thin shirt and he started talking, hoping to calm Lance down.
"Come on, Scoop. Shhhhhhh, Lance, it's gonna be alright. Please Lansten, shhhhhh. I'm here, I'm here." His words seemed to have no effect on Lance at first, but within a few minutes Lance's sobs diminished into whimpers and sniffles as his nose tried to clear itself. "Jesus, Lansten, are you okay?" Justin asked desperate with concern. He felt Lance's head nodding against his shoulder and he pulled back from the hug.
"I...I guess I really needed that," Lance said shakily, before wiping his eyes roughly. Justin stared at his friend's face as he took in the puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
"Yeah, no shit!" Justin replied with a quick grin, trying to lighten the mood. Lance grinned weakly and Justin reached out a steady hand to wipe away the last few tears that were escaping his friend's eyes. As his hand made contact with Lance's cheek, he noticed Lance tense up and he quickly pulled his hand away. They stared at each other in silence, Justin unsure of why Lance tensed when he touched him, and Lance hoping that Justin would try to touch him again so that he wouldn't have to be alone anymore. That's what it was really about. Lance thought he would be alone forever, and he had every reason to think so. He had thought that his secret would go with him to the grave, forcing him to live a lonely life. But this was the moment he had to make a choice, a choice that would forever change his life, not to mention what it would do to the lives of his loved ones. He had to make a choice; it was now or never.TBC? ?
Wanna know which choice dear Lansten makes? Ha, Ha. You'll just have to wait for the next chapter because I ain't givin' out that kind of information just yet. Yeah, I know, I'm a bitch! He, he! :P Anyhoo, let me know what y'all thought about it okay? I am really depending on your feedback to continue this story. I haven't written anymore of it, but I think I know where I wanna go. However, that doesn't mean that you don't have to email me. I wanna know what you think, where you want this to go, which relationship you want to see develop. It doesn't have to be Lance and Justin, ya know? Email me at nsajscgirl@yahoo.com. Please, Please, Please!!!!!! Look, miracles of all miracles, I'm begging! Don't expect that all the time though, what do you think I am, a slut?! Talk to y'all later! Robin