Karen's family was pretty well off in terms of money, but they accepted me because I had a bright future. Her father's wedding gift to us was an all expense paid honeymoon. The first few days were difficult because I still loved Karen and I was very attracted to her, but I was also aware that I was more attracted to Jerry. About halfway through the week, Karen decided we should call everyone and let them know how our honeymoon was going. We both called our parents and told them we were having a great time, and then she told me to call Jerry. I didn't know she was trying to test me. I told her we could wait and talk to him when we got back and she said okay and disappeared in to the bedroom. A few minutes later she was calling me to come in to the room. I walked in there and she was sitting on the bed with the phone in her hand.
"Someone wants to talk to you," she said as she extended the phone to me. I assumed it was one of her friends.
I grabbed the phone and said, "Hello."
"Hi, Dan."
"Jerry?" I know two distinct emotions ran across my face, the first was shock from hearing his voice and the second was fear because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold myself together as I talked to him.
"So, uh, how's the honeymoon?" he asked.
"Give me a second." I turned and looked at my wife. "Honey, may I have some privacy? You know, guy stuff."
A strange look came across her face, but she said, "Sure. I'll be in the other room if you need me."
When she reached the bedroom door, I said, "And close the door please." Once she was gone and the door was closed, I started talking to Jerry. "The honeymoon is great except for one thing."
"What, what's wrong?" His voice was filled with concern. "And why are you whispering?"
"I think I may have made a mistake."
"Don't say that, you love her and she loves you and that's all you need to know. You did the right thing."
"But what if I love you more?"
"Look I told you I was sorry for what happened, you need to let it go. You already made your decision. You married Karen and we both know you're not going to leave her, so let's just try to forget that night ever happened."
"But I can't," I said with tears streaming down my face.
"You don't have a choice, now go have sex with your wife or something."
"Gee thanks for the support."
"That's what friends are for." Then he started singing, "Keep smiling"
"Shut up," I said as a light laugh escaped from my lips.
He laughed a little too and said, "I hate to get serious again, but I need to say this to you. I love you and I probably always will because I love you more each day, but I think we weren't meant to be. I knew you would pick Karen and I wanted to let you know where I stood before you took that walk, but don't waste your life thinking that you made the wrong decision. You did the right thing Dan, so relax, enjoy your honeymoon and try to forget about me. Well, don't forget about me because I expect to hear from you when you guys get back, but you know what I'm trying to say. We'll always be friends, right?"
"Of course, but what if that's not enough?"
"We don't have a choice. You're not made for this kind of life."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked as I wiped away my tears.
"You're a traditionalist, you couldn't handle this type of lifestyle. And oh goodness, I don't even want to think about what you'd do if people found out about us. You definitely need to stick with the women."
"Why are you doing this?"
"What?" he asked.
"Letting me go."
"Because I love you. I thought you got that when I stood by your side on your wedding day. You deserve to be happy and you've waited too late to get cold feet now. Trust your decision and leave it as final because that's what I'm doing."
I was about to tell him it was more than just belated cold feet. I wanted to confess my secret crush on him from years before, but Karen came barging in to the room telling me it was time for dinner and I needed to say goodbye to Jerry. She seemed to have a major attitude so I wrapped things up quickly and promised to talk to him more when I got home.
The rest of the honeymoon was much better. Having Jerry's permission to stay with Karen and knowing that Jerry was okay with it somehow made it easier for me to handle. I relaxed for the rest of the trip and I thought I was ready to face the world again when we emerged from our honeymoon cocoon. I thought wrong.
We walked off the plane and the first person I saw was Jerry. He was holding a sign that read: Mr. and Mrs. Court. He was such a cornball sometimes, but I couldn't control my excitement. I was so happy to see him that I ran to him and hugged him, holding him tightly.
"I missed you." I whispered in his ear. I heard someone clear their throat and it was then that I noticed the man standing next to him. The guy looked a little like me, dark hair but a little longer than mine, dark eyes, same build, basically the same height. I stepped back and released my grasp on Jerry, keeping a hand on his shoulder.
"Welcome home Mr. and Mrs. Court. Your presence was missed by all." He moved from my touch and walked past me so he could hug Karen. He turned around with his arm around her shoulder and said, "We're here to escort you two delinquents to your new home." I laughed, but Karen didn't look amused. She always thought Jerry's sense of humor was juvenile. I was so busy laughing, that it took me a few minutes to realize that he said, `we.'
"We?" I questioned.
"Oh, pardon my rudeness." He walked to the guy standing next to me. I didn't notice the guy had moved next to me until Jerry walked over to him. "Bob, this is Dan and Karen. Dan and Karen, this is Bob."
I know my mouth was hanging open as I looked at Bob again. Who the hell was this guy with Jerry, and why did I feel sick in the stomach? "Bob? I never heard about you before. You new in town?" I asked. I tried to laugh so it came across like I was joking around with him.
"No, just visiting, and that's funny because I've heard a lot about you."
You would think that would shut me up, but it didn't. "Really? You've heard a lot about me? Like what?"
"Where do you want me to start?" he asked while looking me up and down.
"Down boys." said Jerry. "Bob is a friend from college. He surprised me this morning and I couldn't leave him alone at my place and come pick you two up, so I decided to bring him along. Now let's leave because your chariot awaits." He grabbed Karen's carryon bag. "I'll carry this for you madam." That action made me feel bad and inadequate. I was her husband, I should have been carrying her bag, not him.
I reached for the bag as he turned to walk away. "I think I should carry this." He didn't object, he let me grab the bag and he kept walking, following the arrows leading to baggage claim. Bob and Jerry helped us gather our bags and Bob picked up Karen's extra bag, so each man would have one bag and Karen would have nothing. I couldn't allow that to happen. "You don't have to do that man, I got it." I grabbed the bag and almost dropped it a few times as we walked through the parking lot to Jerry's car. I couldn't put my finger on what I was feeling, but I was pretty darn sure it was jealousy.
I was about to jump in the passenger seat next to Jerry when Karen said, "Aren't you going to sit with me?"
"Of course, Honey." I opened the door for her and waited for her to get in, then I walked to the other side and got in. I couldn't talk to Karen because I was busy trying to hear what was going on in the front seat. I wished I could open the passenger door and push Bob out. It wouldn't hurt if it was in the middle of traffic on a busy highway either. The thought made me smile to myself.
When we reached my new house I expected Jerry to drop us off and keep going, but instead, both he and Bob got out. Jerry laughed as I picked Karen up and walked her across the threshold. He laughed even harder when I tripped over my own feet while spinning us around trying to show off for him and Bob. Karen cushioned my fall rather nicely. Jerry helped Karen up. Bob held his hand out to help me, but I slapped his hand away and got up on my own.
"That's what you get you show-off!" Jerry said as his laughter was renewed. His hearty laugh made me laugh too and eventually all of us were laughing, even Karen.
The laughing put me at ease, and for a few seconds, I forgot how much I disliked the current situation. Bob was actually kind of cute when he laughed. His face was all scrunched up and it sort of reminded me of a weasel, which for some reason made me laugh even harder. Their laughter died down, but I was still laughing.
"It wasn't that funny Dan. You can stop laughing now." Jerry told me.
"I'm not laughing at that anymore, you jackass!" I said between laughs.
"Daniel!" Karen said, scolding me for my use of bad language.
"Sorry, Honey." Bye, bye laughs.
"So what was so funny?" Jerry asked.
"Your face." I joked as I punched him in the arm and ran up the stairs. I knew he would follow me because both of us were big kids. I ran to my new bedroom and was about to turn around and try to close the door when I was tackled to the floor.
"Take it back." he demanded as he started tickling me.
"Never." I told him, defiantly as I squirmed at his every touch.
"I'm not letting you up until you do." he laughed.
"Grow up!"
"You first!" he said as he continued to tickle me.
"Here's an idea, why don't both of you grow up!" The tone immediately put an end to our juvenile fun. Jerry stood up and helped me to my feet. We both looked at Karen. She looked just like my mother as she stood there with her arms folded over her chest and a look of disappointment on her face. "What is wrong with the two of you? You're grown men so stop acting like children. Is this what our marriage is going to be like?" she asked as her eyes darted to me and invisible daggers came flying in my direction. I wasn't sure if it was safe to answer.
"I think that's our cue." Bob mumbled as he started to back away.
"No, everything's fine." Jerry told him. He looked at Karen and said, "I'm sorry Mommy, are you going to send me to my room now? I'll be better, I promise." He put on his best puppy dog face and pouted with his sexy lips and Karen couldn't stifle the grin that fought its way across her face.
"You're incorrigible," she said as she turned and walked away. The three of us stood in silence for a few minutes, not really sure what just happened.
"Maybe we should go downstairs." I told them.
"You first," joked Jerry as he stood behind me and held me like a shield. I laughed and was relieved to discover that we were okay again. We were back to being Jerry and Dan.
Karen fixed us a lovely meal and I found out a lot about Bob during dinner. It seemed that Bob was better than me at every single thing. It was like if I once hit a grand slam in a baseball game, then he hit a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth in the championship game and won it for the team. I was frustrated and envious of his success and completely annoyed with the inside jokes that he and Jerry shared. I had visions of taking my steak knife and stabbing him in the heart with it. I knew the way I was feeling was wrong, but he brought out the worst in me.
Karen and I were talking after Jerry and Bob left and Karen said, "Is it me, or is Jerry's little friend a bad imitation of you?"
"You noticed that too?"
"Yes, I notice a lot of things." The way she said it hit a nerve inside me and I think that was the point in my life that marked my retreat. I couldn't have her piecing things together, even though there was nothing going on. I stupidly thought that hiding from her would keep her from seeing what was really happening and that moment served as my inspiration to make work my home.
c Lustyville 2006 Please send comments to lustyville@yahoo.com and check out my yahoo group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lustyville.